Anyone else watching the HD remaster of Star Trek: TNG on Netflix and thinking, "that Holodeck should have had some unit tests!"

Also: what's with the passwords being short spoken phrases that can be recorded and played back? Have they not heard of 2FA in Starfleet?

1/10 totally unwatchable (just kidding, I'm loving it)

"Unix filenames are case-sensitive?! Hur hur, that must be really confusing!"

Well, no, if you're not a fucking mouth-breathing cretin it isn't.

My mantra while browsing devRant:

I will downvote and walk away. I will not take the bait.
I will downvote and walk away. I will not take the bait.
I will downvote and walk away. I will not take the bait.
I will downvote and walk away. I will not take the bait.

*exhales*

I got my reward stress ball about a week ago, but it vanished within minutes of opening the package 😧

Today I found out who had taken it.

Agile: ✅

Agile practices: ✅

Certified Agile practitioners: ❌😡 powerpoint jockeys 👺💥⚡️failed programmers 💩 timewasting idiots 😥

FUCK. OFF. VISUAL. FUCKING. FUCKING. FUCKING. STUDIO.

Dude, what number am I thinking of?!

I put an Easter egg into a product, that if you enter the string "final countdown" into the stock code search field, it plays a YouTube vid of Europe's "The Final Countdown", in a hidden div. It's an in-joke for a few people in the company.

A well meaning maintainer with no sense of humour or judgement takes over and goes on the warpath against any hardcoded strings. The secret code gets moved into a config file.

A third developer changes the deployment script so that it clears any configs that aren't explicitly set in the deployment settings.

So the secret code is now "".

Literally every PC in the stock buying department is now blaring out "The Final Countdown" at top volume.

...Except none of them have speakers, so it remains this way for over a year and two more changes of maintainer.

I just noticed this afternoon and quietly re-hardcoded the string. The buying dept.'s PCs will silently sing no more.

Arguing about arguable stuff is great; the problem is that a lot of tribal nerd arguments are about stuff that just can't ever be resolved. It isn't about settling once and for all which maker of electronic telephones is best; it's about making sure that anyone who bought a different brand knows that their brand sucks.

"I know this guy who works in the service centre where they fix ATMs. He reckons if you could create a hacked copy of the OS, he could install it on a machine, then we can go and withdraw unlimited money from it!"

"It's like Twitter, but much better because there's no character limit!"

Let's take this on-site, single-tenant, heavyweight ASP.Net app, and start offering it "in the cloud"... by provisioning an entire 4GB Windows Server VM with SQL Server for every single customer.

Typescript 2 makes types non-nullable by default! 😎🎉👍

Today's epic cringe was me moaning at my team on the Slack channel about people breaking the test suite, followed a couple of seconds later by TeamCity letting us all know that I'd just broken the test suite.

You know those "door close" buttons in elevators that do nothing, but give impatient people something to do while they wait for the door to close on its own?

Devrant's -- button is the same, isn't it?

Started my day by running a forkbomb on my own computer to prove to someone what it was 😑Wake me up when it's Saturday.

I'm seeing a lot of people on here using the word "triggered" as funny word for "slightly annoyed".

It's not. It's a serious word for a serious problem: post traumatic stress disorder. People can suffer PTSD as a result of abuse, disaster, military combat, or any other stressful event.

Putting "lol triggered" in a post about how you find PHP annoying or whatever just cheapens the word and is disrespectful to all the people for whom it's a very real thing.

Quick poll for .Net people. JetBrains ReSharper is:

A. Vital for getting anything done.
B. The work of Satan. Avoid at all costs.
C. Used to be (A) but VS2015 makes it redundant.
D. I've never used it.
E. I have used it, but I have no strong opinion about it one way or the other.

(If you say E, you're far too placid to be a programmer and you should practice getting more irate about other people's software choices ;)

Possibly my favourite function is Clojure's "recur", which isn't really a function at all, but a special form that gives you a guaranteed tail-position call to the current function.

Basically what that means is you can write recursive functions (functions that call themselves) and know that you're not creating a potential stack overflow.

Um. Okay, I can feel people looking at me like 🤔 Basically what *that* means is: normally when a function calls another function, a "stack frame" is allocated, holding all the local variables for that call. If a function calls itself 1000 times, 1000 stack frames get allocated. "Tail call optimisation" is a process by which if you call yourself as the very last thing in a function, the language doesn't need to remember the current frame; it just has to pass the return value upwards. The trouble is, it's sometimes hard to notice that you've turned a tail-call optimisable function into a non-optimisable one. Clojure's recur keyword makes it explicit, and therefore safe: if you try to do anything with the return value of recur, it's an error.

PS I'm sure another language did explicit TCR first, but Clojure is where I first saw it.

Hey @dfox and @trogus, I finally listened to your podthing today, and it was great. Andy Hunt is such an entertaining speaker and you both kept up well as hosts. I'm loving the quick fire questions; I feel like you can learn a lot about a person by how they answer those! Looking forward to S01E02.

I think this LoB app is losing its grip

Patterns 👏 are 👏 a 👏 language 👏 to 👏 talk 👏 about 👏 design 👏 not 👏 a 👏 comprehensive 👏 list 👏 of 👏 the 👏 only 👏 things 👏 you're 👏 allowed 👏 to 👏 do 👏 in 👏 code.

A new personal best for Microsoft Venereal Studio. Build succeeded with 17,590 errors.

My day:

9 am: crack knuckles, ready to start day

9:01 am: oh, that PR I sent last week hasn't been reviewed yet and I need it in mainline. Better merge latest and get someone to look over it.

9:02 am: now the test suite is broken, better fix that up before getting it reviewed.

1 pm: phew, that was a slog. Now to get on with today actual programming

1:01 pm: "hey buddy, you coming to that tech leads strategy meeting?"

5 pm: Jesus what a meeting. Now maybe I can get a little code written. I'll just fast-forward to latest...

5:01 pm: WHAT DO YOU MEAN THERES A BAD MIGRATION AND EVERYONE SHOULD AVOID USING THE LATEST VERSION WHY DIDN'T YOU REVERT THAT SHIT DO I NEED TO COME OVER THERE AND RESTRICT YOUR STUPID WINDPIPE UNTIL YOU UNDERSTAND GIT *RAGE TABLEFLIP*

Slack channel message this morning:

Personally I like a shot of small-batch, fresh, locally-sourced cocaine.

Just be born a genius 💯

* yes, I have seen the new iPhone
* no, I'm still happy with my current one
* actually I think lots of high-end Android phones are very good too
* will you please stop talking about the sodding headphone jack you're driving me insane please stop please oh god it's happening again I did warn you but you didn't listen you wouldn't stop and now look what you made me do this is all your fault they'll never take me alive

Jesus shitting Christ. Do you want to know something by awful. A comment by @tahnik on a post by @yvang has just made me realise I have been fighting CSS to make it do what I want since IE3 came out.

In August 1996. 20 years ago. I'm 40. That's half my life ago. CSS, I salute you. You've been a worthy adversary.

Ive posted this picture before, but for the wk15 theme, I have to say: my favourite thing on my desk is: my MacBook Pro 😿