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Story time!
This is “Güero” (Blondie), the only cat I know who can use a computer.
I was at university. I couldn’t take my laptop to class because it was too huge, so I had to use remote connection.
One day, I connected to my laptop from the library, and everything was ok except that I couldn’t move the mouse! 😱 It was like somebody on the other side was using the mousepad. There was nobody in my house, just Blondie.
My solution? I called to my house. The cat heard the ring and left my laptop. It sounds stupid but, believe it or not, it worked! 😂
Blondie, the informatic cat.
13 -
$ cat "door: paws too slippery"
cat: cannot open door: paws too slippery
$ touch /woman
touch: cannot touch `woman': Permission denied
$ look into "my eyes"
can’t open my eyes
$ man -kisses dog
dog: nothing appropriate -
!rant
Fun fact
Did you know that there is a UNIX command called "tac" which prints the contents of a file from bottom to top, unlike "cat" which prints them top to bottom.16 -
I attended a webcall with the cat on my shoulder, some manager complained it was not professional.
Now, I do not know who that was so I'll have to just shoot in the crowd and take innocent victims, but from now I'll attend every single call with as many cats on screen as possible. Possible outcomes, and both are fine by me, either they cut down the amount of unnecessary calls -as to limit the amount of catness on their screen- or learn to grow the fuck up because unlike some retard I get paid for working, not for busting the balls to the people that actually work.9 -
Happy international cat day, everybody!
And a nice day to every sysadmin out there, hopefully not too catty.
4 -
Me: I'm gonna be productive today. Will complete this task in one hour!
*starts coding enthusiastically*
After two minutes...
*facebook*
*cat video*
Awwwww
*dog video*
Lol heheh!
*cute kittens n puppies*
Heh, silly cat
*more cats, dogs*
*accidentally notices the time*
Crap! 1.5 hours gone waste....7 -
Been coding for hours, trying to automate the processing of over 500 rows of data, I refuse to do that manually.
At least I have company
7 -
My cat is diagnosed with leukemia. He has 4 months to live. What am I going to do without him? 🐈⬛
😿20 -
Today I remembered why I don’t “wing” things.
Anyway, here’s my cat in a cardboard tank.
Statements related.
16 -
Christmas song for UNIX hackers:
better !pout !cry
better watchout
lpr why
santa claus < north pole > town
cat /etc/passed > list
ncheck list
ncheck list
cat list | grep naughty > nogiftlist
cat list | grep nice > giftlist
santa claus < north pole > town
who | grep sleeping
who | grep awake
who | egrep 'bad|good'
for (goodness sake) {
be good
}
(By Frank Carey, AT&T Bell Laboratories, 1985 )1 -
How come the cat pet is on the floor?
From my experience they should be sleeping on the keyboard or sitting on top of the mouse.
@dfox, @trogus: I would suggest swapping this around. The cat should be on the desk all other items should be on the floor. I feel this would more accurately depict typical cat ownership.5 -
I hope Desks of devRant is still a thing because..
I BUILT MY OWN (｡♡‿♡｡)
My dad helped me with the metal work. I build the wooden plate myself and I think it looks beautiful.
Also my devDucks and my little bongo cat support me. As well as my real cats which now have more space to annoy me.
I love this table ( ˘ ³˘)♥
10 -
Today my cat, my oldest girlfriend, passed away. She chose to be in the sun for her passing. I'm happy she had a good life in the end with all the space she needed. She did not suffer. It was sudden and just a cardiac arrest.
May she hunt many more mice and little birds in the afterlife.
19 -
Found my spiritual animal:
- a cat
- Russian
- engineer
- smokes
- looks like he went through some shit
5 -
Kind of rant.
Why doesn't the cat sit on the keyboard?
At least my two cats just love that place. Perhaps a feature request?
11 -
Grumpy cat was in a lot of our internal products, on loading screens and what not, because why not? PM got pissed and said if he sees that fucking cat again blah blah blah. Grumpy cat is now summoned with a Konami code. Grumpy cat will never die.2
-
Cat schroedingers = Cats.getFromScientist("Schrödinger");
boolean lives = schroedingers.isLiving();
*runs code*
Kernel panic4 -
Luckily I'm a better developer than a chef.
Here is me dreaming of an avatar cat and working hard for it
7 -
User: "But if you reboot my phone, won't all my pictures go away?!"
Me: "No, sadly your thousands of cat photos are here to stay."1 -
that moment, ...when your cat jumps on your keyboard while coding und you quickly open notepad to see whats she gonna tell you...
cat: ">Asbaw5nz 35im63g fs gha weasd fafhtdj"
..oookay, ..and how do i compile this?5 -
I was gonna write some code, but Tomcat stopped by
I was gonna write for browser or Node but Tomcat stopped by
Now I’m covered in cat hair and I know why
‘Cuz Tomcat stopped by
‘Cuz Tomcat stopped by
‘Cuz Tomcat stopped by
I was gonna follow through but Tomcat stopped by
I was gonna study algorithms too but Tomcat stopped by
Now I’m DevRanting this song and I know why
‘Cuz Tomcat stopped by
‘Cuz Tomcat stopped by
‘Cuz Tomcat stopped by
11 -
When you fix your mates PC and upgrade windows on it and month later he comes back because his scanner is really slow, his wife doesn't understand English anymore and cat decided to leave his cat life to become full time florist at local bakery shop.2
-
I found that the best place to work on code was at one of my best friends' apartment because:
- cat
- comfortable desk with more screens that I could ever wish for
- coffee AND beer machines at one arm extension from the desk
- cat6 -
Every time..
Every single time!
All day long the hairy one is nowhere to be found. But as soon as you put some tech and/or wires on the bed - be sure she'll find it to be the best sleeping spot in less than a minute.
Literally a techno-cat.
8 -
*Opens terminal*
*Does the following*
$ touch file.txt
$ echo "Hello world" > file.txt
$ cat file.txt
Hello world
Feels like--
6 -
quote of the daily standup
"<colleague>, can you make sure to show the cat when you are stroking it... otherwise it's a bit suggestive"
(his camera filter filtered the cat out and the cat was sitting on his lap)4 -
This is adorable
The packages name is oneko, you can even set colours or speed, or make it an... Anime girl?
Whatever suits you best, I guess
Almost forgot, it's an actual animated cat that's running after the mouse
22 -
this cat always accompany our developers day and night.
he is a cat-code!
may god bless him health
2 -
I posted a cat's ear and it got more than twice my previous maximum ++ in 2 days. I can only wonder what would've happened if I posted the whole cat.5
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I woke up and discovered that one of my cats vomited over my keyboard during the night. «Meow, good Sunday human!». FML.
Yes, I cleaned it before typing this.6 -
"Yesterday I got distracted by cat GIFs on Reddit.
Today I will get distracted by cat videos on YouTube.
Tomorrow I'm planning to get distracted by cat photos on Pinterest."3 -
I've just noticed there are dogs available as pet too now.
No wolves available though unlike big cat.8 -
!dev
Someone on the bus listens to nyan cat. Really loud.
That's a great taste compared to the hardstyle that ruins my bus drive most times.12 -
Issues I didn't know I would face when trying to study from my parents' place: They're not talking to me and disturbing me, it's the fucking cat snoring so loudly that is distracting me 😅8
-
My cat decided to jump on the PC at 5 AM.
Lesson learned: Never going to put my PC on the desk again.
10 -
If Schrödinger submitted his cat experiment as a GitHub issue, what label would it get?
"can't reproduce".2 -
My husband has always asserted that it is my cat who is the sole instigator in attack grooming sessions, and he may well have been right. But this night, my cat was sleeping peacefully on me as I peacefully slept when his cat decided to go on the offensive.
At 3:30 am.
I appreciate your growth as a cat, Bob, but I would have appreciated it more had you not awoken me with your new-found confidence.1 -
My former housemates had a cat, they moved out and took said cat. Cat had fleas which I wasn't informed of.
Cleaning out the now vacant room with a can of flea spray in hand I utter:
"Now, my uninvited friends, sooner or later, even if I have to do it individually, by hand at times, I will find you all and I will squash you for I am a software developer and I deal with bugs all the time."2 -
Containerize everything
My containers are too big, let's just remove some useless binaries...
Later
~ $ less /var/log/foobar.log
/bin/sh: less: not found
~ $ cat /var/log/foobar.log
/bin/sh: cat: not found
~ $ ls /var/log/foobar.log
/bin/sh: ls: not found
~ $ su
/bin/sh: su: not found
~ $ exit
/bin/sh: exit: not found2 -
And now, behold: a cat, warning: long loading time since I uploaded the entire fbx file. I'm gonna trim it later.
https://txstc55.github.io/cat/
2 -
When you go to select shoulder pets and there's no cat option despite the cat always on your shoulder. Come on, devrant! Give me shouldercat!6
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Cat-warming solution when the power goes out
Problem: Your power goes out in the middle of winter. Your cat is cold and will not leave you alone. You are her only source of heat.
Step 1: Find battery-powered laptop.
Step 2: Power on laptop and turn off sleep/hibernation in the settings.
Step 3: Open up 5 instances of Minecraft and load a single-player world in each.
Step 4: Close laptop and flip it upside down
Step 5: Place cat on computer above the fan. Cat will begin to purr.
(Yes this works)2 -
German friends...
Thoughts on 1&1? I have tks now, it's painful. Telekom seems shady af, but I have their mobile plan.
I have no idea how to get unbiased info here, so i'm asking people who actually use the internet to work from home and do more than just surf Facebook and cat videos10 -
Another week at uni and another with me doing daft shit. I had an online meeting with my project group and the projects mentor. And since it was essentially full of bullshit, I decided to add even more. By wearing cat ears for the entire duration. Which turned out to be the only fun thing. /ᐠ.ꞈ.ᐟ\1
-
Have a Monday Cat, all. Don't forget to wake up this morning!
(Image was dark, so had to edit into visibility. Yes, this is one of my cats.)
1 -
Whoohoo: 🐈⬛
My phone supports the black cat emoji!
🐈⬛🐈⬛🐈⬛🐈⬛🐈⬛🐈⬛🐈⬛🐈⬛🐈⬛🐈⬛🐈⬛🐈⬛
I have a black cat ❤️
Does your view of this rant show the black cat emoji?19 -
Reading a 36 page article on REST for a course on OSS, and I'm pretty sure the combination of background sound generators (waves, fire, singing bowl, cat purrs) is what's going to get me through this exam...
PS: Recommend http://purrli.com for all demotivated, cat-deprived devs out there.2 -
I wonder how many electrons have dedicated part of their existence so I can watch cat videos on YouTube...1
-
Cat just attacked my keyboard, which was quite funny. Took some pics and entertained it for a bit.
Then I looked at my IDE.
Lost all of today's work because the cat somehow managed to press keys to delete it and then type enough that undo won't recover my code...
That cat is my arch nemesis now... And then it tried to jump back on, which I put a swift end to.
😭😭😭9 -
A cat sleeping on my shoulder, a late night React dev, and the newly released song from Amorphis in repeat mode in my ears. I love these kinds of moments <3
-
I had to make a commit today to protect my code from my cat. And it wasn't even the weirdest commitlog I've ever made.
-
Working from home once a week, it's my most productive workday by far. No annoying interruptions; well except for my cat who insists on being in my face all day (but honestly, I can live with that).1
-
Working from home with a cat... hear a strange noise and turn my chair. Cat is now hanging on for dear life and looking at me with utter betrayal.
It seems she only wanted attention... always. Especially when I’m working.1 -
Unless in severe pain, the cat will always enjoy this eternal moment, proud of its existence. Never questioning its needs, desires, likes or dislikes, a cat will never consider evaluating itself. The cat glories in its existence and lives with supreme self esteem. It so values itself that it will never assign a value to itself.
The cat has risen entirely above the need for self esteem through perfect self acceptance beyond the need for self esteem.6 -
I don't know where this "you own your dog, but your cat owns you" attitude is coming from. When I come home, my cat runs to the door, chirping as if she saw a bird. Then, she greets me by laying on the floor, reaching towards me, licking my hands while purring profusely. Love your cat and treat it with respect, and it will love you back. I treat her as my child — as if we were the same species but different age.9
-
My Cat-magnets make me smile every time I look at them!
OfferZen gives the best swag for developers in South Africa!
-
This low-level computer problems, that can only be solved by your cat walking over your keyboard while either finding the solution or blowing up everything.
How do you non-cat-owning guys solve such a problem?1 -
So this cat (stray) used to come with her baby kitten, for food. Mama always fed the baby first, licked her, protected her....
Fast forward, now the baby kitten is all grown up. Now if she comes near mamas food, she gets growls and a nasty smack from mama cat. :D :D -
🐱🖥️
I was thinking about my next cat, and thought how I would name it, as I like original names.
So I thought maybe, now I'm a developer (my cat is 10 years old, back then I was in primary school), I could name it after some technology I like but can't understand (like cats)... How many cats are called C#?
So, how would you name a cat based on some technology that would fit as a cat name for you?7 -
This morning I came across Shakespeare, I've never had such a nerdy laugh in years!
The follwoing is supposed to print "Hello World"
.
Ajax,
Puck,
Act I:
Scene I:
[Enter Ajax and Puck]
Ajax:You fat fat fat cat!
Puck:You is the sum of myself and the square of myself!Speak thy mind!You is the sum of thyself and twice twice myself and the sum of a cat and a fat cat!
Ajax:You is the sum of a fat fat cat and thyself and the quotient between myself and thyself!Speak thy mind!You is the sum of a fat cat and a cat!
Puck:You is the difference between thyself and myself!Speak thy mind!You is the sum of the sum of thyself and myself and a fat fat cat!Speak thy mind!Speak thy mind!You is the sum of myself and thyself!Speak thy mind!
Ajax:You fat fat fat fat fat cat!Speak thy mind!You is the sum of the difference between myself and thyself and a fat fat fat cat!Speak thy mind!
Puck:Speak thy mind!
Ajax:You is the sum of a fat cat and a cat!
Puck:You is the sum of thyself and myself!Speak thy mind!You is the difference between thyself and twice myself!Speak thy mind!You is the sum of thyself and a fat fat fat pig!Speak thy mind!You is the sum of a cat and a fat fat fat fat fat cat!Speak thy mind!
[Exeunt]
Source: https://codegolf.stackexchange.com/... -
'cat file | grep foo' .... For some unknown reasons, too. It sends shivers down my spine all the time
-
These new pet options are nice and all. But why so unrealistic? I mean there is no way to put the cat on the keyboard. Nor an option for CRT monitors with cat on top. I am horrified by the lack of sense and mostly dissapointed. 5/7 would still choose a ground cat though.4
-
Do we have to buy pets for each gender change of the Avatar ?
Case in point:
I bought a cat when the gender of my Avatar was female and now on changing it to male i need to rebuy the cat ☹️.
Should i repot a bug on GitHub ?17 -
Week : 70 ( Year 1 )
Plans for the first weekend?
My cat (well, my neighbour's cat. Sometimes visits my place) looks like pregnant. Any advice to do something? or let nature do its thing?
Previous Week : https://devrant.com/rants/1205728012 -
I used alot of if checks to convert category name to category ids for sql query. For eg.
/Index.php?cat=venue
And I handled it like
If($cat=='venue')
{
$cat =1;
}
And so on.1 -
I had created a vb script that bred a wav file with a cat meow. Then I sent it to a colleague of mine and I was executing it in the background giving commands over the network from my pc . She was looking inside the cupboards for a real cat!!!
-
Writing my 2. exam tomorrow (1. one just slightly missed minimum of points)
in Algorithms and Data Structures... really want to succeed!
cuddling with my cat to reduce stress😌
wish me luck😅😓1
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