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Search - "pixelated"
One of our web developers reported a bug with my image api that shrunk large images to a thumbnail size. Basically looked like this img = ResizeImage(largeImage, 50); // shrink the image by 50%
The 'bug' was when he was passed in the thumbnail image and requesting a 300% increase, and the image was too pixelated.
I tried to explain that if you need the larger image, use the image from disk (since the images were already sized optimally for display) and the api was just for resizing downward.
Thinking I was done, the next day I was called into a large conference room with the company vice-president, two of the web-dev managers, and several of the web developers.
VP: "I received an alarming email saying you refused to fix that bug in your code. Is that correct?"
Me: "Bug? No, there is no bug. The image api is executing just as it is supposed to."
MGR1: "Uh...no it isn't. Images using *your* code is pixelated and unfit for our site and our customers."
MGR2: "Yes, I looked at your code and don't understand what the big deal is. Looks like a simple fix."
<web developers nodding their heads>
Me: "OK, I'll bite. What is the simple fix?"
<MGR2 looks over at one of the devs>
Dev1: "Well, for example, if we request an image resize of 300, and the image is only 50x50, only increase the size by 10. Maybe 15."
Me: "Wow..OK. So what if the image is, for example, 640x480?"
MGR1: "75. Maybe 80 if it's a picture of boots."
VP: "Oh yes, boots. We need good pictures of boots."
Me: "I'm not exactly sure how to break this to you, but my code doesn't do 'maybe'. I mean, you have the image from disk.
You obviously used the api to create the thumbnail, but are trying to use the thumbnail to go back to the regular size. Why not use the original image?"
<Web-Dev managers look awkwardly towards the web devs>
Dev3: "Yea, well uh...um...that would require us to create a variable or something to store the original image. The place in the code where we need the regular image, it's easier to call your method."
Me: "Um, not really. You still have to resolve the product name from the URL path. Deriving the original file name is what you are doing already. Just do the same thing in your part of the code."
Dev2: "But we'd have to change our code"
Mgr2: "I know..I know. How about if we, for example, send you 12345.jpg and request a resize greater than 100, you go to disk and look for that image?"
<VP, mgrs, and devs nod happily>
Me: "Um, no that won't work. All I see is the image stream. I have no idea what file is and the api shouldn't be guessing, going to disk or anything like that."
Dev1: "What if we pass you the file name?"
<VP, mgrs, and devs nod happily again>
Me: "No, that would break the API contract and ...uh..wait...I'm familiar with your code. How about I make the change? I'm pretty sure I'll only have to change one method"
VP: "What! No...it’s gotta be more than that. Our site is huge."
<Mgrs and devs grumble and shift around in their chairs>
Me: "I'm done talking about this. I can change your code for you or you can do it. There is no bug and I'm not changing the api because you can't use it correctly."
Later I discovered they stopped using the resize api and wrote dynamic html to 'resize' the images on the client (download the 5+ meg images, and use the length and width properties)26
EDIT: devRant April Fools joke (2019)
Today, @trogus and I are very happy to announce a devRant feature that we’ve been working on for many months. After extensive time and money investment, it’s finally here! Introducing, pixelated avatars!
@trogus came up with this awesome idea about a year ago, but we couldn’t get it just right so we had to tons of work/research to make those pixelated avatars give the full sense of retro and ULTIMATE pixelation. We think everyone will appreciate how this effort turned out.
Anyway, let us know what you think, and we hope you enjoy!
p.s. here is @trogus’s avatar - the model we used to make sure the feature is perfect!59
Petition for the pixelated avatars joke to be a permanent feature.
Vote for yes
Down vote for no
I love my pixelated avatar. The pixelated effect brings depth to the avatar. What do you guys think?5
( rant || !rant ) && idiots
console.info( this.isLongRant );
console.warn( "contains strong language and wordpress" );
A friend of mine sent two of his "friends" to me because they wanted me to build a website for their new business (~idea).
So I had a meeting with them.
First of all they wanted me to have a look on the current (work in progress) site.
First impression of the frontend:
Well, imagine this:
- a 90s/2k background (dotted/pixelated cloud in baby-blueish as backgroud with repeat)
- the logo was made by the sister of one of the guys, it wasn't too bad, but badly aligned, asymmetrical
- some obvious $offTheShelfShopPlugin with $randomStockContent
- the fucking slider had a small loading bar to indicate changes, it appears like an hyperanxious child on ADHS
- below the logo TWO FUCKING GIF SPINNERS to indicate nothing else but how fucking brain amputated these two dudes are, including the dev who is responsible for adding this. (to this point, they only told me, that a webagency did the setup and some basic work on the site, more on that later)
- no styling concept at all, random fonts and stuff everywhere including default styles of the shop plugin.
- FUUUUUCK WTF wil come furtherin this meeting?
After seeing a pile of binary puke fisted out of a 60yo nonstop-intern who changed his jobtitle from dildo-traveling-salesman to fullstack-frontend-dev by wrinting it on a post-it-note, I imagined, there has to be something wrong with the backend as well.
Boy was I right!
Yes, you guessed it! A random Wordpress adminpanel login appeared! OH NO....
I really wanted to levae this meeting immediately.
I was not able to hold my disgust back and I told them right in their face, what a shit pile of nutty squirrel turds this current page is. And that Wordpress is not the right choice at all for a shop.
Then came the best part: They basically told me, that they terminated the previous contract with the webagency because they were too expensive (they are cheap, compared to others, I know people who know their prices) and that they wanted to create A BIG MARKETPKACE with multiple ressellers who can have their shop in their website. Something similar to FUCKING AMAZON. ON FUCKING WORDPRESS!?!?!?
They even asked me if I wanted to be their partner & developer and that they can't pay much at the moment until the marketplace starts to grow.
I more or less told them to go fuck themselves with a rusty pitchfork.2
Yo gods of devRant
Can you keep this as a feature? As a switch or something perhaps? This pixelated avatar is sick!6
My introduction to computers was sitting in the family room on the floor with my dad, we had an old Dell laptop running Windows 94.
I remember him taking this weird square thing (floppy drive) and putting it in to the computer. He then said something along the lines of "you might like this" then he started up a game.
It was my favorite game (until club penguin came along)
It is now my second favorite game (Minecraft wins)
An image with weird pixelated graphics popped up on the screen.. it said "Commander keen". He started a new game, and I was instantly hooked.
After a while, I found this blog that had a list of cheat codes and I began to stack codes in various ways to find glitches and stuff.
It was very fun.
After that, I started learning how to use dos and then I used virtual box to run Linux. And eventually, I started learning python.5
Oh boy I wanna write a script that replaces people's images with a pixelated icon and their messages. Writes code. Code crashes Slack, Chrome and Laptop. Only I can write code like that and make an entire machine unresponsive.6
A quick update to a previous rant: https://devrant.com/rants/1336393/...
(If you haven’t read it yet, please do, because otherwise you won’t know what I’m talking about.)
So I got the laptop of my classmate working. I connected to my PC remotely because the laptop is way too slow. Everything was working perfectly and I was finally working on the app. But then it happened, I clicked on chrome and for some reason the laptop started to go crazy. The screen was all blocky/pixelated and I couldn’t do anything. I called someone from the ICT department at my school and he said he couldn’t fix it (probably because he didn’t know what to do or what was going on). So now the laptop is broken and I’m can start all over again. So I’m stuck, again. And my school doesn’t want to do anything about it. The worst thing is that my classmate needs to explain to his parents why his laptop broke. I hope I can get working again soon. I just don’t know what to do now.5
Anyone else feel like it's hard to connect with people online? I mean *really* connect. I feel like some of the communication platforms that we use to share our thoughts are not suitable for meaningful exchanges, or are not being used in such a way. Nothing is long lasting. All communication is transient and shallow. Posts get buried underneath new posts. Memes get more interaction than questions or stories. I totally get it - a meme is much easier to digest and to really like and it doesn't require a written response, and there's nothing wrong with any of that, but what happens when you have a legit question or you just need to talk to somebody deeply about a subject? There's always gonna be someone who dismisses it but leaves a snarky comment behind, or somebody answers in such a way that doesn't move the discussion forward. Now that I am writing this, I realize that similar things happen in real interactions. You do small talk, you talk about a movie or a TV show - no problem. But whenever you wanna touch on a subject that doesn't have a clear answer, or is a bit emotionally vague, it seems that people close up a bit or try not to get into the thick of it. Fuck man, I don't need a coherent, well-structured answer, backed by research. I just wanna know how you feel. Do you ever feel like this too? Are you afraid of this, the same way I am afraid of it? Or tell me why you're so excited about this? I don't know, all this is obviously very abstract and I don't know where I am going with this. I suppose there's the fear of ultimate impermanence behind of all this, and I want to share that fear with someone else, not in some kind of hardcore blood-brothers way, but just like fucking wanna feel like we're all in this together, like that we acknowledge each other as something a bit more than just a pixelated avatar (which are funny as hell by the way) somewhere out there on the network. Maybe it's all in my head.
And at the same time I recognize that if somebody responds to this post and opens up in some kind of way, any kind of way, I will possibly not know how to open up in return as awkwardness settles in and defense mechanisms go up and just the vagueness and the uncertainty of the whole situation becomes too confusing, and the whole effort drops back to a level of chitchat for a glimpse of a second before it is swallowed whole by the new waves of conversations started by other people trying to connect with somebody else to escape their own loneliness.
I think that nobody captures this kind of abstract stuff better than David Foster Wallace: "You don't have to think very hard to realize that our dread of both relationships and loneliness ... has to do with angst about death, the recognition that I'm going to die, and die very much alone, and the rest of the world is going to go merrily on without me."19
client "it's ok we have a logo"
2 days later... receive a Word doc in an email with clients pixelated logo embedded
Probably gonna leave devrant until we get a working block feature. Or like. Any new feature at all. The last was pixelated fucking icons in april. Feel like david and tim kinda burned out or gave up or something which would be fine if the opensourced devrant but no i guess. See ya later fuckers.23
Yeah this baby got completed at last💗
(I hope the gif isn't too much pixelated)
Maybe i should write an article for it.😅5
Now that my math posts have failed to garner the anger they formerly did, we here at Wisecrack Studios, like all teams of people completely out of ideas, have come up with a brilliant never-before-tried concept to bring fresh shitposts to your pocket-telescreen this fine year of 2020.
We present to you the DevRant shitposter census!
Yes we pride ourselves in our quality bait and bullshit here at WS. Founded in [previous year a long long time ago], we focus on craftmanship, tradition, and doing it right. Our bait is loved the world over for "it's fresh flavor", "so good, it's like you're abusing heroin right along with the company employees!'
And now, you too get to participate and choose your very own bullshit!
You could say we may have invented a totally new word just to describe it: crowdsourcing!
Isn't it just *brilliant*.
Here is Wisecrack's "Private Select" census, of only the most choice *premium* finely-aged shitpost ideas for this [current year].
Please, please, one vote per customer!
* Overly pixelated memes (obviously not) blatantly ripped and automatically uploaded via shitty selenium scripts
* Real life hijinxs, trolling shitty companies hiring processes for fun at their expense!
* DevRantCon now with 100% more orgies. Reserve your kickstarter ticket today.
* Disappointing vaporware announcements that take ten minutes to read and build your excitement up only to crush it before your very eyes like a child's first lego build in the hands of an angry nd merciless andre the giant disappointed by the craftmanship of a five year old.
* A livestream of a monkey on an actual typewriter, with a btc betting pool each time an actual word is typed, along with a $5 "shock the monkey" button to spice things up a bit
(our lawyers are informing us this may or may not be illegal in some or all nations. We'll get back to you when sealand responds with our request about their laws on unnecessary animal cruelty. )
* Video conference with devrants creators where we all play "I've never" that doesn't end until at least one person passes out black drunk.
* Weekly comedy write ups with jokes (not obviously) blatantly stolen from cards against humanity
* HipsterRants: why your favorite [thing - game, music, movie, book] sucks, and why I hate you for liking it.
* Cool new projects by devranters and our merciless breakdown of why each one is pure, unadulterated shit, everything that was done wrong, and why you should personally be ashamed for using it.
* SadRants: cancer, meth abuse, homelessness, how we'll all die at the end, and how the sun will one day turn into a giant ball of fire that will consume the earth and leave no trace that anyone ever existed, and nothing we do will ultimately matter.
* HappyRants: ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°) oh yeah, you feeling it now mr krabs?
* Technical breakdowns that are completely wrong, utterly incompetent, intentionally misleading, and wildly upvoted by people who are unfamiliar.
Vote for your favorite topic/idea today! or even submit your own for our 'consideration'!
Clickbait, now in technicolor!9
# continuation of https://devrant.io/rants/2195230
I replied, that I need the pictures as seperate jpg/png files and that he should upload it somewhere for me to access them.
and well, he did - i was suprised ... BUT
he srsly just did screenshots of these pictures from whithin the pdf file - ON HIS PHONE.
u have ever seen an apple phone these days? those with the missing home button? yeah, you have a digital on screen overlay home button now. and guess - it is in every picture.
I dont care any more. it goes online as is....
tiny, pixelated pictures with beautifull shiny white on-screen home button on them. this is how we roll these days!2
Google street view..
I was wandering around streets and noticed random houses, well, that you couldn't see..
How do you get your building pixelated ?14
Just came another iOS app that is an exact replica of its android counterpart! Icons are pixelated...layouts are pathetic..when will people realise that jus replicating apps across iOS and android is the worst thing ever???4
My company just released its website today. Previously, it just used its parent company's site.
Now, the problem is that it sucks big time. Awful design, pixelated stock photos, bad navigation, and broken grammar.
In the company's defence, it's not a web shop. It employs zero web devs. The site was built by an external company.
But if you are like me, you visit company websites before you apply for a job, and in this case, it would bed a big red flag.
Or maybe the hard-core embedded devs they are looking to employ wouldn't notice? Maybe they are all stuck in the year 2000 as well? I used to be a web developer so maybe my criteria are broken?3
Google's PageSpeed is recommending that I reduce the size of a 109kb photographic image to 2kb, which would definitely reduce its size...to a blurry, pixelated mess. Is it all just robots over there programming this stuff now? Doesn't anyone know how to sanity check their code around these types of logical inconsistencies?3
Are the pixelated avatars devRant's April's Fools joke for this year? Is it a bug? Is it a feature?7
if i didn't know any better...i'd say youtube is lying about being at 1080 res. pixelated and jaggity as hell. redo resolution, looks better. ya...okay. go swallow your own head youtube4
Just putting the idea out there:
How cool would it be to be able to make SVG screensots!
The OS asks every application within view whether it supports SVG rendering. If so, it collects the SVG rendering. If not, it uses a PNG pixelated fallback.
Most form applications and browsers should be able to provide SVG renderings of the view, right?
Imagine the crispness of the screenshots...2