Joined devRant on 10/29/2016
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time zone shift.
Am I the only one whos's inner clock seems to go absolutely crazy...
Might be due to my health issues, but whenever these one hour time shifts happen - trouble sleeping starts again, feeling sluggish and blue and nothing seems to work.
I hope it doesn't take long to readjust, cause today was completely unproductive6
3 damn hours for 200 lines of bash code.
Exorcism, Magic I don't care.... But please make a special person never touching bash programming again.
I ripped my hairs out. Really.
Till I realized someone wrote functions with _logical_ return true codes as numbers.
0 - as logical false, for failure
1 - as logical true, for success
Leading my brain into a severe segfault fun.
Why... Oh why.
Second fun part as I corrected that...
Someone wasn't fond of exit codes at all.
Script is now 86 % rewritten....
God damn it, if you don't like a languages fine.
But inverting core logic should give a free trip to the electrical chair.2
Too many night shifts.
But it's done.
After the last migrations my emotional state is... Questionable.
VM migrations between different CPU vendors and generations leading to segfaults because of unsupported X86 extensions.... Thx for doing that at 23 o'clock after 8 hours of work....
Forgetting a left over NIC in a virtual machine, creating a routing loop, leading to very erratic behaviour and fun things.
Someone forgot to check the '"Unique" box, mass spawning a cluster of VMs with same MAC adresses....
DNS fuckery since someone thought that reboot would flush the cache of an DNS server.... Nope most DNS servers have persistent caches. You'll have to flush manually.
And let's not forget the joy of the 12 plus pages of when and where to move VMs, harddrives and VLAN configuration.
Oh migrations are such a festival of joy.
Finally done with that shit -.-5
currently I'm feeling like a overheated gatling gun....
We'll finish at the weekend a year plus of work.
Should I be happy? Maybe.
But currently it's just frustration cause the whole week was satanic prep work.
Lots of fsicking boring shit, planning, migraine, connecting the dots.
I wish you'd get a nice dose of "fuck everything" medicine at the work for weeks like that.
Remember the chewing gum dispenser from your childhood?
Like that. ID card in. Fun pills out.
(If drugs were only without side effects and addiction.... )
Yeah. Kinda late to the WK 227 party.
Thing is: I've read a lot of rants and honestly, some of the rants were ... touchy.
Like that weird emotional thingy you don't like but that just kind of happens cause I'm human too.... And have that shitty emotional feature integrated, which feels most of the time like a heisenbug.
Me and my parents. Specifically mom. Are like ... Matter and antimatter.
You don't want them in a room. Bad things happen TM. My mom is responsible for ... Let's say severe psychological trauma starting with age 4 to age 17.
In 17 I moved out and lived on "my own" (truth: on heavy support, cause I wasn't what you'd called "psychologically stable" at that time).
I fucked up university and - as shared before - thanks to an math teacher who made my life an even more living hell and my parents, I'd started in IT mostly out of "resisting" certain assertations being made over my life.
The support I got from my family can be put together in one sentence:
"I survived, I tolerated - but will never forgive".
Thing is: Be it IT support or anything else. If your gut feeling tells you that family / coworkers / friends are not good for you.
Stay the fuck away from them till you've sorted yourself out.
I can tolerate my parents nowadays. Took > 10 years and a lot of hardships to "achieve" that.
It's not peachy. It's not loving. It's tolerance. (Yeah. That bit is muey importante to me).
The thing is: I cannot deny the fact that my parents tried to support me by money. That's what they still do _nowadays_ even though my income is like 60 % of the income my father and mother has combined... It's a bothersome detail.
There's a certain thing in this rant that I would like "to pass on": Emotional support matters.
When you let someone feel like an empty shell, you cannot fix it with money.
It will - severely - destroy the person.
TLDR: We all have rough edges, can be hard to deal with and be a pain in the arse, but all of us need emotional support sometimes. That's what matters the most. ;)
Was absent minded this whole day, sorry if my answers took long / were out of context @ the meetup.
I was poking why a bona fide DB import didn't work...
VARCHAR(254) COLLATE utf8_unicode_ci GENERATED ALWAYS AS (LOWER(...)) VIRTUAL
MySQL 5.7 to MariaDb 10.5 ...
After long hours of poking:
Yeah. It's the COLLATE statement. *narf*
I love SQL, but god damn it this stupid fscking frigging dumb platform and version specific behaviour is fucking annoying.
sed -Ei 's|COLLATE.*GENERATED|GENERATED|g' helps. Just takes a bit of time on an 75G sql dump. -.-
Took only 4.5 hours to find out.
But now test suites are crunching, looking good til now.... *sigh*2
Just fuck everyone who is unable to read.
Admitting to not have read it or "just glanced over it" deserves divine punishment.
Just fuck everyone and everything.27
New cooler for CPU installed.
Damn it. Was long overdue, old cooler was way undersized after an CPU upgrade.
I knew it would be tricky. But damn... My motherfugging stubbornness.
1mm over RAM heatspreader, took a long time getting blindly the cooler fixed... Screwing blindly isn't fun.15
I've deleted a previous rant because it wasn't appropriate.
My built up frustration is reaching peak levels and I'm aggressive as fuck. -.-
Anyone a non sportive solution to solve anger issues... Cause my brain is producing violent fantasies that would make some parts of crime history look like kindergarten.
It's really everything at the moment:
Corona, isolation, people at work, work at work, weather, health issues and a few more things.6
Stop whining for fucks sake.
I'd rather listen to high pitched coil whine than enduring this frigging shit.
If it doesn't work - fix it.
If you're to dumb - fix yourself.
I've told you motherfucking gazillion times that your bitching is absolute waste of time you inbred relict of an homo erectus.
I wanna gag a certain someone with duct tape who's annoying since weeks... And send him in a package to a nice russian Gulag some where in sibiria
I called the hack "blow up bunny", was in my first company.
We had 4 industrial printers which usually got fed by PHP / IPP to generate invoices / picking lists / ...
The dilemma started with inventory - we didn't have time to prepar due to a severe influenza going round (my team of 5 was down to 2 persons, where on was stuck with trying to maintain order. Overall I guess more than 40 % ill, of roughly 70 persons...)
Inventory was the kind of ultimate death process. Since the company sold mobile accessoires and other - small - stuff.
Small is the important word here....
Over 10 000 items were usually in stock.
Everything needed to be counted if open or (if closed) at least registered.
The dev task was to generate PDFs with SKUs and prefilled information to prevent disaster.
The problem wasn't printing.
The problem was time and size.
To generate lists for > 10 000 articles, matching SKUs, segmented by number of teams isn't fun.
To print it even less. Especially since printers can and will fail - if you send nonstop, there is a high chance that the printer get's stuck since the printers command buffer get's cranky and so on.
It was my longest working day: 18 hours.
In the end "Blow up bunny" did something incredibly stupid: It was a not so trivial bash pipeline which "blew up" the large PDF in a max of 5 pages, sent it to one of the 4 printers in round robin fashion.
After a max of 4 iterations, bunny was called.
"bunny" was the fun part.
Via IPP you can of course watch the printer queue.
Check if queue was empty, start next round with determined empty printer queues.
Not so easy already. But due to the amount of pages this could fail too.
This was the moment where my brain suddenly got stuck aft 4 o clock in the morning in a very dark and spookey empty company - what if the printer get's stuck? I could send an reset queue or stuff like that, but all in all - dead is dead. Paper Jam is paper jam.
So... I just added all cups servers to the curl list of bunny.
Yes. I printed on all > 50 printers on 4 beefy CUPS servers in the whole company.
People were pretty pissed since collecting them was a pita... But it worked.
And in less than 2 hours, which I would have never believed (cannot remember the previous time or number of pages...)1
Too many meetings.
"Why do you explain...." 10kv electrical shock.
Explanation so everyone has the same knowledge.
"But CD ES process of LCE..." Water. From the emergency hose. In the face.
For fucks sake, we are using speech in a meeting so stop using motherfucking abbreviations you shit hole.
"We had bugs". Taking an hot iron and shoving it somewhere nice.
Explain - what the fuck are you talking about? What bugs? Tickets? Documentation? Implications of the bugs? Hate. Much hate.
Um. I don't know. Maybe. But if.
Please, stop wasting time, if it's non important, a " No " doesn't hurt....
Let me show you. (4k Monitor, 10 px font, bright neon colors, IDE looks like LSD trip in bad).
If you present stuff, good - but for christs sake, shove your motherfucking shitty IDE setting in your own arse and turn on presentation mode with neutral colors - bright or dark mode, I don't care, but readable without danger of seizure.
I can't stream my monitor right now because of "bla" "blabla" (some private shit that has ZERO to do with work).
I'll need some oxy if this goes on.
I wish I could do the following legally....
Spank someones butt with good horse hair whip.
Draw smilies with sriracha on the butt.
Let him write 1000 times "I'll keep my half knowledge and thus profound dumbness to myself - or ask politely instead of barking orders" with his red hot sriracha butt.
Let him lick it clean, his filthy mouth needs it.
And hopefully. Hopefully. Pain would teach him the lesson that his half assed knowledge and narcisstic behaviour does more harm than good - especially to himself.
Backstory: I had a full dual phone conference and video chat experience because someone was so full of shit... Eh. Narcisstic self believe. That he nearly destroyed an ongoing migration, made upper management nervous, and letting me deal with the still ongoing migration, conference / chatting and so on.
And yes. The date for migration was fixed. He could have spout his nonsense before.
Damn it, so many ideas to turn a human body into !!*!"!!*!*!*!!*
He launched a fullblown discussion on a saturday during an ongoing migration based on outdated knowledge claiming the right to know it all. R I P.7
*revving chainsaw noises*
Today I started nuking leftover project code.
At the end, some projects shrunk by roughly up to 40 % .
Can anyone explain to me why programmers have such an awful hoarding syndrome?
Why do you keep shit that might unleash complete havoc cause it hasn't been touched since years and noone knows id it still works?
It's like having a leg with gangrene and keeping it cause "it doesn't look that bad".
For fucks sake. Clean up and remove shit when it's not necessary anymore.
Reason why I did a bloody gore massacre in nearly a dozen projects... After all the rework of networking, it's finally evident which projects have a bad / nasty behaviour of "fucked up" connection handling (HTTP 1.1).
And when my gory massacre removal goes life, I think 25-35 % of persistent connections on the loadbalancers will vanish. Maybe even more, since some very nasty stuff was in some projects.
Like "let's implement monitoring without having any clue about how monitoring works and even less clues about how TCP/ HTTP works."
*Bangs devs heads on table*
Stop. Doing. Stupid. Things.
For fucks sake.
I was a tad drunk last night because the week was... more than exhausting.
I felt like a pinhata yesterday - pretty beaten up and gutless.
Woke up this morning still a lil tipsy and decided to just be happy and don't give a damn.
Decided to take a hot bath to get nice and relaxed.
My smartphone decided to commit suicide and slided in the bath tub while I was in the kitchen making coffee.... And water was still running.
:) Bye bye smartphone, no more annoying messages.
While bathing, I relaxed a bit too much I guess.
Felt a bit of pain but then so much better because something in my back "plopped" back to where it belonged I guess?
I managed to rip off the shower curtain with my foot since it was a very short moment of "fucking frigging shit that hurt".
During that moment I also created a great flood, bath room is still wet...
And the funniest thing is: I don't give a damn.
Smartphone is definitely dead, ordered a new one, will arrive next week.
Guess I should stay the weekend on the couch before I accidentally blow up the mansion.
I don't know where this good mood is coming from, but damn it has been a long time.18
I'm somehow beaten.
I took a look at Bamboo today because I will later inherit it.
And ... I just can't make sense of it.
I've tried googling, but I'm kinda lost because most stuff I find is half baked or not "complex" enough - as in missing things we do.
The whole UI just leaves me with WTFs.... Honestly, if anyone has good resources I'd be pretty thankful.
I tried today 4 - 5 hours to make sense of it...
But it all leaves me with the gut feeling that Bamboo is either for automatic deployment only ...
Or manual with a ton of duplicated stuff.
Both conclusions feel completely wrong to me ...
My work desk is ordered chaos. It's an unspectacular white desk.
To the left paper for taking notices... And a collection of notes highly unordered.
In the top left corner of the desk the router.
Middle (front to back): Color sorted post it's with my backlog and all the stuff that I need to keep track off.
Right (front to back): mailboxthingy, post it block, utensilo (made of bamboo)
That's the working desk. Like the "shining knight in armor"....
Next to the working desk is the play desk, a large kitchen table with a 5mm thick black rubber (keep your dirty thoughts for yourself ;)) as insulation and scratch prevention.
There is usually utter chaos.
Banana PI R2, test router, old hardware, hardware storage cabinet, screw and other small part cabinet....
And to the right is a large chest of drawers where I cram everything in that doesn't belong anywhere.
I'm pretty boring I guess.
Except you are kinky for old hardware and lots of weird stuff noone uses nowadays...
Then you're in heaven I guess.2
The current finish of the whole network stuff is... exhausting.
We are in the finishing phase...
Like in the Simpsons:
Knife goes in, guts come out.
I've debugged today 4 h DNS...
One of the nodes - and the only node of 5 - didn't resolve one zone of many correctly.
It always tried to resolve via INet / Dot ...
So a _very_ special snowflake.
After going crazy... I decided to isolate the setup and increase verbosity for debugging.
It tourned out that the DNS server answered correctly - but was asked then again for a response by the defective node.
So I ripped out DNSSEC out from the DNS server, hoping the defective node would be fine with it.
Nope. It resolved then by itself via internet...
A lot of domain-insecure sprinkles later the defective node behaved correctly.
But why the fuck does _ONE_ single fucking stupid cunt machine decide to go rogue? Every node is equal....
It's just... Insane.
And reading the logs was insane too.
Bash and substitution patterns is character diarrhea.
And said Bash "script" consists of multiple shitton files with sources and Environment variables and other stuff that makes me wanna poke my eyes out and cram it into my arse.
Still shitty, but more tolerable.
I will have an clusterfuck of nightmares I guess.
All these # will gangup with the ~ and then the ? will start an knife attack to rip out their intestines. But all fails as the ! shred everything to bits by blasting it with anti tank sniper munition.
A guy with a pretty fucked up aggressive personality.
At that point I already had ...more than a few issues with bald headed aggressive men for other reasons.
So from the beginning I was very wary around him... And his behaviour - sweet talking while you could _feel_ the knifes raining down your neck - made me even more defensive. I avoided him like the plague.
But for better or worse I became his supervisor. I had to work with him.
He made it very evident what he thought of having me as a supervisor - from day one there were very non subtle hints.
Every question turned into a discussion... Every discussion turned into screaming... Every screaming from his side turned into me leaving the room. I've had my anger issues and I don't tolerate such behaviour.
The tip of the iceberg was not only his behaviour, but also his limited knowledge.
He worked > 15 years in the company, me 2.
Guess that played a role, too.
But his knowledge was somewhere between junior to average.
Some of the tasks exploded not only in time because of all the rage tantrums he had - but more because he didn't solve them properly, despite given clear guidance.
Since at that time it was obvious that he either quits or will get fired, we had to look at previous projects.
It wasn't pretty - to state it in a polite way.
Non polite way: A shitfest of the worst kind possible.
All in all - he didn't quit.
Nearly half a year later he had to be fired.
Company couldn't fire him earlier for various (eg law) reasons.
But damn he made that time a living hell.
Rarely a day without screaming, door slamming, discussions that went like "I've checked all my literature, what you're saying is wrong." (without stating what literature, the discussion just turned round and round...) and so on...1
To all you abusive, micromanaging arseholes… Light a magnesium torch up in your arse and make us smile.
To all you motherfucking dumb cunts who can play 8 hours instead of working, but are unable to cope with the simple task of documentation:
Resign and stay away from civilization as far as you can. Alternative: Self castration and removal from the gene pool
To all the narcisstic workaholics who think everyone must be available everytime... Hop into a meat grinder, it's nice and cozy - I've been told.
It's weekend and I've finished everything. First time in half a year that I can return to a normal weekend schedule.
Dobby is free. And Dobby will stuff a sock so far up your arse that you can lick it clean if you disturb dobby.
:) *happy smile*8
Dockers JSON output is garbage.
First, you'll get no JSON per se.
You get a JSON string per image, Like this:
Then I tried to parse the labels.
It looked easy: <Key>=<Value> , delimited by comma.
Lil oneliner... Boom.
Turns out that Docker allows comma in the value line and doesn't escape it.
One liner turns into char by char parser to properly tokenize the Labels based on the last known delimiter.
I thought that this was a 5 min task.
Guess what, Docker sucks and this has turned into try and error...
For fucks sake, I hated Docker before, but this makes me more angry than anything else. Properly returning an parseable API isn't that hard :@3
There are easy things.
Like networking / routing / vlans / subnetting / loadbalancing and simple DNS (as in name <-> IP resolution, not the "other" stuff).
And somehow... People manage to turn it into something so complicated and insane that you cannot even use technical terms to describe it.
Simply because a lot of it was so mutilated that using the technical term to describe what it should do will become the total opposite of what it _actually_ does.
It's somehow terrifying... But might explain my migraine.
We played "Taboo word" for 3 hours straight, all technical terms were forbidden and I think I _might_ know now how it all works.
And I guess we'll have to restructure, rename and rework the whole network loadbalancing setup from bottom to top because
"This is sparta".
I wish I could explain it better.... But how? It's ... Interesting....
When you can't even explain stuff to someone else because you would need to invent and explain new words.2
Is it just my random madness...
Or do you sometimes picture yourself in a fictional comic / movie / whateva...
Had this feeling today.
Burned a database down, grilled 2 terabyte of data, deleted ~ 500 elasticsearch indices.
Then I chopped an haproxy loadbalancer into 6 seperate machines, because noone likes to read ~ 2.5 to 3 k of lines.
And I guess now I'm doing some backups of elasticsearch before the second round of flamethrower madness starts.
It's somehow very satisfying to just destroy everything.3
This moment when someone mentions you in an PR of an huge ORM clusterfuck with associative tables and discriminators...
And you accidentially say "Yes I'll look at it later" because you thought it was an tiny PR -.-
Should have opened that link first.7
My math teacher.
Simple story: His way of teaching was like bible study - he dictates the mathematical rules, the students had to write it down _exactly_ as told.
(Yes. He even dictated spaces / newlines / ....).
Had him for many years....
Since I was the rotten apple in class (I was always very weak regarding math), he had joy in mobbing me specifically.
It was one of the reasons I never thought about programming at all - or to be more precise, I _feared_ programming since everyone told me it would require intense knowledge of math.
Well. Fast forward. I went to university despite my fear, just because I was too stubborn to prove my math teacher right.
He was one of the counseling teachers too - and he made _very_ clear that I would fail in _anything_ regarding mathematics job wise.
I failed university, yes.
I gave up simply because I was too bored to learn and replay stuff by heart you'll certainly never need to remember your whole life.
Math played a role, too. Since I lacked the whole mathematical background, I barely passed the tests (mostly by a point).
But thanks to a lot of friends I learned that mathematics is helpful for programming - but not a must.
After giving up university, I started an apprenticeship.
And while I dreaded the decision for a long time, I couldn't be more happy about it.3
A friend of mine asked me yesterday for help for his bachelor thesis.
He wants to write about MySQL internals in regards to BLOB storage / usage.
We had a veeeerrrry long discussion....
And found a loooot of scary internet pages.
It's so .... Insane....
What some people with doctor titles or higher education generate...
Isn't content. More poo...
Most "blogs" / "articles" or whatever the author named it were missing all kinds of relevant data (version, configuration, anything relevant) but full of opinionated / biased bullshit.
- we store lot of BLOB data, Backups take long and require more space
(you store additional data in an database, whaddya expect???!!!!)
- interesting guesswork about locking without any reference (interesting since it was sometimes so far away from reality that it looked more like quantum physics)
- storing blobs means that _each_ blob entry will be stored in a separate file (without any reference, but if an RDBMs did that... It would end in an amazing fireball I guess)
- BLOB's bad since it can represent only the file content, the database cannot distinguish wether it's an MP3 / MPG or anything like that...
(Ehm. Yeah. And an database cannot distinguish if you store under "Name" an Name or gibberish?!)
I somehow think that some people made an doctor and post this gibberish nonsense so people stay dumb to give them a job...
Like the TV repair men who steals the batteries from the remote.
Even conspiracy theories were more convincing
Other PM: We must fix the database performance issues now.
Me: We can't. We're still only halfway on the dependency chain to tackle this and honestly, even if the dependency chain would be fulfilled, I'd leave at least 2 weeks monitoring the production after the changes were rolled out before we further poke around.
Other PM: This is taking far too long. And whaddya mean by dependency chain? Why was I not informed about this?
Me: *sigh* like in every meeting in the last weeks: the dependency chain are the current open blockers before we can proceed with the database changes. We've talked about this _at length_... Especially why these blockers exist.
Other PM: No, we need to start now. I've _examined_ at the blockers or "dependency chain" as you call it.
(Examined.... He opened on his currently streaming laptop, which was connected to the active beamer, the mentioned ticket with a detailed blocker ... And quickly scrolled. Yeeah. Warmonger...).
Me: I'm very tired of discussing this. But since you are already presenting us the ticket, read out the referenced meeting notes... We explained it in great detail.
Other PM: Why? This is just a waste of time!!!!!!!
Yes. This happened. Other PM was my nemesis.
In this meeting were 2 PMs (Him, Me)… I think 5 - 7 devs... And we were sitting in this meeting since 2 hours at least. Everyone was angry...
After this "manifesto of intelligence"… I simply left the room, followed by a few devs.
And yes. Other PM did this on a regular basis....5