Job Ad says "Web Developer". Requested skills were HTML, CSS, PHP & XML. Go to interview & get grilled about my design skills. Web Developer != Web Designer people! Get it together! 🙄🙄🙄

A Java Development vacancy I came across today:

Requirements:

Must:

° Appropriate Education
° Work Experience with Java/Javascript knowledge, at least 2 years, good understanding of OOP, patterns
° Experience with Spring, NoSQL(MongoDB)

Preferably:

° Experience with Tomcat/Jboss/Glassfish
° JDBC, JSF, JSP, JSTL, Angular, ExtJS
° HTML5, CSS3, XML, Jquery, Bootstrap, Primefaces
° Hibernate
° Git/SVN

Objective:

° Implementation of specific requirements
° Cooperation with business analytics and clarification of reuirements
° Participation in the development of application architecture and technology selection

Who are they hiring?

And then my lecturer said JSON and XML are the same thing.

My little brother (still in school , learning security and pen testing): i found a bug in a website , it returns an xml file instead of the web page , i reported it to them and i think i'm gonna get rewarded like 2k $ for it .
Me : cool ! Show me .
Him : shows me his phone ...
Me : wait , gotta rant this .

You know what's funny?

Being called Jason.

Developers when talking about APIs and similar stuff: "So if you connect to our API you can get XML or JSON-" <pause>
<looks at me with a smirk like "haha! JSON/JASON LOL!">
<I gently smile like saying "yes. yes. I know. Thank you">

Sigh

Wanted me to encrypt CSS with XML

XML sucks. Why can't we just use JSON everywhere?

JsonX is a an IBM standard to represent JSON in XML...

Like wtf dude? What's the point in making shit even more verbose than the original XML ?

"XML is like violence – if it doesn’t solve your problems, you are not using enough of it." - Unknown

Friend: "Does JSON internally use XML" 🤔?

Me: 😑

What retarted way of writing xml files is this.

Burn this before it lays eggs.

Translating things:
ME: "Hey dev, can you send me a xml file of strings to translate so you can impleme..."
DEV: "yea yea tomorrow"

He sent a .docx file.

i'm crying

I wanted you to notice that XHR (XML HTTP Request) is an acronym composed by two other acronyms and a word. Thank you for the attention

People bashing JS and PHP while I wonder why XML still exist.

They really got the keywords on point...
Thank you for making my day npm

i just recently got how correct that is while working on a project with multiple people

Client: "Hey we want you to integrate your product with our system."
Me: "Oh, OK. Where's your API?"
Client: "Here! We even have an outdated .Net SDK, we use XML."
Me: "Ok.. how do we authenticate? What's your OAuth 2.0 endpoint?"
Client: "O auth what?"
Me: " You know, the current standard for REST API authentication and authorisation"
Client: " What's REST?"
*Hungs up*

Fuck XML. Fuck it right up it's X with it's M, all the way to L.

Slowly getting there :-)

XML.

That's it that's the rant.

*reads JSON license*
"The Software shall be used for Good, not Evil."

Well that's actually a nice license.. if only nuclear research etc could be licensed like that.

Wait actually.. WanBLowS is using XML for its "diagnostic data", right? I always found it so weird that they don't use JSON for that.. but I guess that this is why 🙃

This guy is supposed to be a "spring framework guru"

Yo Mr. Guru, this is not how you write a pom file especially when you are teaching someone who probably is new to programming. Just think if the new guy/girl goes on to write such xml files in the future. What are you even trying to do man.

To the person who architected a system where business logic is encoded to XML within CDATA sections within other XML data inside a 10000 line file that also describes the presentation of this same data:

I hope you meet a violent death. Your suffering should be equal to what developers who had to deal with your perverted shit experienced.

Motherfucker.

For a week+ I've been listening to a senior dev ("Bob") continually make fun of another not-quite-a-senior dev ("Tom") over a performance bug in his code. "If he did it right the first time...", "Tom refuses to write tests...that's his problem", "I would have wrote the code correctly ..." all kinds of passive-aggressive put downs. Bob then brags how without him helping Tom, the application would have been a failure (really building himself up).
Bob is out of town and Tom asked me a question about logging performance data in his code. I look and see Bob has done nothing..nothing at all to help Tom. Tom wrote his own JSON and XML parser (data is coming from two different sources) and all kinds of IO stream plumbing code.
I use Visual Studio's feature create classes from JSON/XML, used the XML Serialzier and Newtonsoft.Json to handling the conversion plumbing.
With several hundred of lines gone (down to one line each for the XML/JSON-> object), I wrote unit tests around the business transaction, integration test for the service and database access. Maybe couple of hours worth of work.
I'm 100% sure Bob knew Tom was going in a bad direction (maybe even pushing him that direction), just to swoop in and "save the day" in front of Tom's manager at some future point in time.

This morning's standup ..
Boss: "You're helping Tom since Bob is on vacation? What are you helping with?"
Me: "I refactored the JSON and XML data access, wrote initial unit and integration tests. Tom will have to verify, but I believe any performance problem will now be isolated to the database integration. The problem Bob was talking about on Monday is gone. I thought spending time helping Tom was better than making fun of him."
<couple seconds of silence>
Boss:"Yea...want to let you know, I really, really appreciate that."

Bob, put people first, everyone wins.

Fuck XML.

Just... Fuck it, i'm fucking done.

I know you guys probably have seen the worst of the worst...

But have you seen a js used to generate xml and send it to backend as json then parse it to xml? No template literals btw so there’s a lot of multiline with lots of + here and there

Or using sql to request web service?

Puns for days

I bet you put a JSON inside an XML

When somebody says they know how to program and I ask them what languages they know and they say XML, CSS, HTML.

Pro tip: if you want to day dream at work just open a complicated XML file in your IDE and stare at it intensely any time someone walks past your desk.

Seriously? Why choose xml rather than json? json is easier to handle people!

Yo mama so fat, her layout_width="match_parent"

I swear I work with mentally deranged lunatics.
Dev is/was using TFS's web api to read some config stuff..

Ralph: "Ugh..this is driving me crazy. I've spent all day trying to read this string from TFS and it is not working"
Me: "Um, reading a string from an web api is pretty easy, what's the problem?"
Ralph: "I'm executing the call in a 'using' statement and cannot return the stream."
Me: "Why do you need to return a stream? Return the object you are looking for."
Ralph: "Its not that easy. You can return anything from TFS. All you get back is a stream. Could be XML, JSON, text file, image, anything."
Me: "What are you trying to return?"
Ralph: "XML config. If I use XDoc, the stream works fine, but when I step into each byte from the stream, I the first three bytes have weird characters. I shouldn't have to skip the first three bytes to get the data. I spent maybe 5 hours yesterday digging around the .Net stream readers used in XDoc trying to figure out how it skips the first few bytes."
Me: "Wow...I would have used XDoc and been done and not worried about that other junk."
Ralph: "But I don't know the stream is XML. That's what I need to figure out."
Me: "What is there to figure out? You do know. Its your request. You are requesting a XML config."
Ralph: "No, the request can be anything. What if Sam requests an image? XDoc isn't going to work."
Me: "Is that a use-case? Sam requesting an image?"
Ralph: "Uh..I don't know...he could"
Me: "Sounds like your spending a lot of time doing premature optimization. You know what your accessing TFS for, if it's XML, return XML. If it's an image, return an image. Something new comes along, modify the code to handle it. Eazy peezy."
<boss walks in from a meeting>
Boss: "Whats up guys?"
Ralph: "You know the problem with TFS and not being able to stream the data I had all day yesterday? I finally figured it out. I need to keep this TFS reader simple. I'll start with the XML configs and if we more readers later, we can add them."
Boss: "Oh yea, always start simple and add complexity only when you need it."

Frack...Frack..Frack...you played some victim complaining to anyone who would listen yesterday (which I mostly ignored) about reading data from TFS was this monumental problem no one could solve, then you start complaining to me, I don't fall for the BS, then tell the boss the solution was your idea?

Lunatic or genius? Wally would be proud.

Just saying 🙄

Fuck the way comments work in xml. I want to write a 2 word comment but before that I apparently have to make an ascii art mona lisa. Infront of and after the comment.

Yesterday in a job interview the guy asked me at least five times if I knew how to program in XML.... FOR GOD SAKE DO YOUR HOMEWORK!!!

XML is like violence. Once you start using it, the solution to any problem will be just more XML.

When api supports only XML!!!

In a meeting the vice president of IT asked me “How long would it take you to re-write our CRM in XML?”
I responded “I’ll have it done by the end of the day if you can tell me what XML stands for.”
VP walked out of the meeting not saying a word.

I work at a place where security is really high when it comes to server access. Today I was in urgent need to get admin access to a server, this is a real pain. Luckily I found an xml in version control containing the credentials for the web application which happens to be an admin account! Lucky me, saved me at least two weeks of waiting to get admin access!

The proprietary API I have to use which uses XML but is totally dynamic and without a schema. They basically managed to successfully merge JSON and XML to get the disadvantages of both JSON and XML.

So this API i'm integrating with wants me to post XML. Yet it's response comes back in JSON!

What the actual fuck?

That moment you realise that naming classes by their XML data structure is not as practicle as you hoped it was... 🤔

Spent 10 minutes starting to implement XML serialization in my old app... and then realize i already implemented it.

निम्न (Nimn) schema less data. 80% smaller than XML, 60% smaller than JSON.

Going to bed without being able to resolve a bug. Expecting zero sleep...

Makes me giggle every time

"Your XML is malformed by these strange tags CDATA. I've cleaned it up ;)"

Fuckity Fuck my boy, now the whole website is down. All hail the magic push to prod button.

(there were snippets of user provided HTML that was passed over XML by a microservice)

Is it me or all REST api use json today ?
And xml is kinda dead ?

I always feel awful when I see an xml rest api.

650 line hand constructed xml file missing a tag. Took me 3 hours to find. I looked at the section at least 3 times but my brain would not pick out the mistake. Online cal validators all pointing me to the wrong places.
It takes persistence to be a developer so pat yourselves on the back.

Why the fuck would you use xml to store data

Why the fuck would you use xmdsaasd to build your site

Mysql and php exist for a fucking reason

Sufficiently advanced XML is indistinguishable from satire

Aye so i got a new job, and its android. I thought "yeah sure, ive been a java dev my whole life, it will be easy".

And it is easy.

But its like a fleshed out java, with a trillion built in classes and xml (seroiusly, fuck xml), and also the studio eats away my ram.

Today I Learned: Firefox CAN NOT open a 31MB XML file.

Are you serious, is this an exam revision or an eyesight test

And this is how to read a book in Visual Studio at work so everyone thinks you are in some really fucked up configuration xml.... :))))))) Thanks xmlrant.com and jsrant.com for ideas

AirFrance, you suck

Whoever thought setting up SQL database connections through XML was a good idea needs to be put on trial. And then exiled to a deserted island so they can think about all the pain they put me through.

You want to call a function? STOP!!!
Nowadays it is so amateur and old fashioned! Instead you must:
- Make a soap request
- Write a router to handle soup requests
- Write an XML to define which controller responds to this request
- Write an XML parser on top of another XML parser
- Write a controller to trigger an event in response to the request
- Write an XML which defines the event
- Write an XML that defines the event observer
- Write a plugin which calls event observers
- Write a router which delegates the task of calling event observers to that plugin
- Write an event observer which calls another plugin
- Write a plugin that "Calls a function".
It's better because... it's more Object Oriented!

Dear Gradle,
I just modified a single attribute value in an XML. Please!!
You just built the whole thing a few minutes ago.. Why do you wanna... Oh well...

Gradle build running....

So I just learned that normal HTML has nothing to do with XML

That sounds like a very sad position...

Learning mobile development so far has been 5% writing code and 95% screaming at .XML documents. It's been 8 hours of work and all I have to show for it is a few buttons and a really shitty UI

HOLY.

CHRIST.

MAVEN.

Where has this thing been all my life. I can manage my Java web projects from a single repository that works native with Linux. No more hunting for .jar files on the web, EVERYTHING IS MANAGED FROM A SINGLE .XML FILE. MAVEN WORKS WITH ANY JAVA IDE.

This is one of the single greatest systems I have ever found.

Today's project was answering the question: "Can I update tables in a Microsoft Word document programmatically?"

(spoiler: YES)

My coworker got the ball rolling by showing that the docx file is just a zip archive with a bunch of XML in it.

The thing I needed to update were a pair of tables. Not knowing anything about Word's XML schema, I investigated things like:
- what tag is the table declared with?
- is the table paginated within the table?
- where is the cell background color specified?

Fortunately this wasn't too cumbersome.

For the data, CSV was the obvious choice. And I quickly confirmed that I could use OpenCSV easily within gradle.

The Word XML segments were far too verbose to put into constants, so I made a series of templates with tokens to use for replacement.

In creating the templates, I had to analyze the word xml to see what changed between cells (thankfully, very little). This then informed the design of the CSV parsing loops to make sure the dynamic stuff got injected properly.

I got my proof of concept working in less than a day. Have some more polishing to do, but I'm pretty happy with the initial results!

Can someone please build an SVG vector file format equivalent that uses json instead of xml? k thnx! 😆

Someone put a fucking \b in this dataset I'm working with, which just so happens to be an illegal character for xml.
FUCKING HOW. FUCKING WHY. FUCKING WHERE ARE YOU AND WHY DO YOU WANT TO SEE ME SUFFER THIS MUCH

Just heard someone pronounce XML as "saml" today.

Is this how the other half lives?

Can we please stop using a file structure (YAML, JSON, XML etc) and just changing the file extension and calling it a new file type?

Stop trying to make your software/framework sound more complicated by saying this shit, if you use something, own it and don't try to mask it...

And mini rant over...

So a recruiter called me for the Mobile App Dev position just to asked me wether I am familiar with "CODING IN XML"?

I was like if xml is consider a programming language, json will be too.

So a non-tech colleague just walked in and asked if it was possible to find and replace "level 1" for a star in 200 .docx files. Considering the fact docx is xml I thought it shouldn't be too hard to do this. I received her email... Including the FF-ing star as a png image! Here i thought she meant a *. Ah.. Hell no!
ʕノ•ᴥ•ʔノ ︵ ┻━┻

I have to write an xml configuration parser for an in-house data acquisition system that I've been tasked with developing.

I hate doing string parsing in C++... Blegh!

Customer: I want the test-results. Format doesn't matter.

*sending xml report-files and screenshot of pipeline tooling report*

Customer: the files are hard to read. can you make html?

*creating html output and sending a screenshot of browser*

Customer: Thx for the screenshot. Ill take it.

🤦‍♂️

XML is meant for computers to read, not humans.

It's 2016. Please use yaml instead!

Why do XML API-s still exist? WHY? It's like walking up to a hot chick hoping to get a number, but she turns around and smiles with no teeth.

There are two types of eXtensible people
<UserInfo type="address">101 Terrace Road</UserInfo>

And

<Address>101 Terrace Road</Address>

After an extensive amout of time debugging xml I learned that height is spelled with an e.

I saw someone rant about XML earlier, but truly the thing that puts me on the edge is XSLT. Who invented that crap.

Server configuration file formats...

some use custom text file
some use ini files,
some use xml..
some use json..
some use yaml..
some use toml..

How many file formats I need to learn!!!

I love xml. There. I said it. I freaking said it.

TL:DR
Why do so shitty "API"s exist that are even harder to write than proper ones? D:

Trying to hack my venilation at home.
This API is so horrible D:
The API is only based on POST requests no matter if you want to write values or get values and the response only contains XML with cryptic values like:

<?xml version="1.0" encoding="UTF-8"?>
<PARAMETER>
<LANG>de</LANG>
<ID>v01306</ID>
<VA>00011100000000000000000010000001</VA>
<ID>v00024</ID>
<VA>0</VA>
<ID>v00033</ID>
<VA>2</VA>
<ID>v00037</ID>
<VA>0</VA>

Also there are multiple API routes like
POST /data/werte1.xml
POST /data/werte2.xml
POST /data/werte3.xml
POST /data/werte4.xml
And actually the real API route is only given in the request body and not in the path.

Why is this so shitty? D:<

Btw in terms of security this is also top notch. It just globally saves if one computer sends the login password.
I mean why even ask for a password then? D:
That made me end up with a cronjob to send a login request so I don't have to login on any device.

PS:
You see, great piece of German engineering.

Working as a part time student on an app and until now I thought I was the king of software development.
Well, fuck me and my high horse.

Today the stuff we send from the client to the server didn't arrive, so I asked the backend guy if he could take a look at the packages arriving. He did and told me the data was messed up.
I did only design stuff the last week or so, so I was very confused. After reverting back to one old commit after the other it struck me.
I still don't know how such a dumb mistake could have happened to me, the king of Android apps, but apparently I replaced all occurrences of a specific keyword in just the strings and comments of the whole project. Key became KeyList, so instead of <Keys> my XML contained <KeyList> which made no goddamn sense whatsoever.
Did I mention that we have an important deadline tomorrow? Yeah...

So now I leaned my lesson. Never trust XML.

JK I'm dumb. That's the lesson here.

So there’s this SOAP api I have to use (not by choice, and not the only one i have to use) that returns a bunch of XML nodes to confirm the data sent made it and checks out - pretty standard stuff yea.

Now every once in a while it doesn’t respond (as far as I could tell) so today I wrapped a debug around the soap call, error handler and responses and threw a bunch of messages it’s way to try and force it not to respond in order to be able to put some decent error handling in place.

Well it wouldn’t fail.
100 messages .... all responses good
100 more.... all responses good

And then 100 more.... all respond with “x”, plain text not XML as expected!

Wtf is this shit!!!!!

Just found an interface in an app of my company that uses the best of both worlds: csv AND xml 🤦🏻‍♂️

<Name>John;<Lastname>Doe;

🤣

Google: The all mighty bug fixes for Android Studio are now live, see version 3.4
Android Studio: But I still freeze when I need to format xml files tho, but who cares...

** Days later
Google: Android Studio 3.4.1 is now live! Smash those bugs!
Android Studio: lool I still freeze when formatting an xml file ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

(After several hours of debugging a returned "mal formed xml" error)

Me: We found out your api does accept our XML only if its elements are in certain order.

They: Oh! yes. :)

Me: ... and since XML should not depend on order, maybe you should fix that. Or at least alert about it in docs.

They: Yes, maybe we should. :)

Me: ... OK

Xcode storyboard sucks!. At least it could've had a code version of the storyboards (like android XML layouts) so that at least you could properly copy paste a layout from somewhere. Autolayouts and constraints are so flipping confusing that I almost always end up doing all the layouts in the code itself.

I have come across the most frustrating error i have ever dealt with.
Im trying to parse an XML doc and I keep getting UnauthorizedAccessException when trying to load the doc. I have full permissions to the directory and file, its not read only, i cant see anything immediately wrong as to why i wouldnt be able to access the file.
I searched around for hours yesterday trying a bunch of different solutions that helped other people, none of them working for me.
I post my issue on StackOverflow yesterday with some details, hoping for some help or a "youre an idiot, Its because of this" type of comment but NO.
No answers.
This is the first time Ive really needed help with something, and the first time i havent gotten any response to a post.
Do i keep trying to fix this before the deadline on Sunday? Do i say fuck it and rewrite the xml in C# to meet my needs? Is there another option that i dont even know about yet?
I need a dev duck of some sort :/

They made Asynchronous Javascript and XML a real thing LMAO!! 😂😂😂

sufficiently advanced XML is indistinguishable from satire

Others: I can speak English, Spanish, Chinese, Russian, etc...

Me: I can speak Gujarati, Hindi, English, Javascript, Php, Python, Java, XML, Rust, ReasonML, etc...

<I>
<love>
<you/>
<!-- </love> -->
</I>

So I was helping my friend debug her code.
A portion of text was not being displayed. We put log statements everywhere. Cross checked every line of code. We had almost started to lose it.
And then we found out that she had accidentally set the text color to white in the XML layout.
Just another one of those days.

Okay, so I have to write a script that will get user data from an AD, additional information from an XML, combine those two to get boss user relationship and output that mess into an excel sheet.
Oh, and both sources are ofc completely inconsistent. So I need full error handling on everything.
Aaaaaaand I have to write it in VB script... Using np++... Without plugins...
I hate my life!

IPAY88 is the worst payment integration. They parse html data and encoded it into xml for return the data, it is not even singlet or server to server communication , tey called it the ADVANCED BACKEND SYSTEM (My arse!) For security, they ENCODE THE STRING into BASE64 and called it ENCRYPTION ! WHAT THE FUCK?
Encoding is not encryption! I qas expecting they used diffie hellman or AES or RSA etc. THEY TOLD BE ENCODING IS ENCRYPTION? WHAT THE FUCK?

A server application pulled off some sort of listings as table. Problem was, it crashed with some thousand data files after one and a half hours. I looked into that, and couldn't stop WTFing.

A stupid server side script fetched the data in XML (WTF!) and then inserted shit node-wise (WTF!!), which was O(n^2) - in PHP and on XML! Then it converted the whole shebang into HTML for browser display although users would finally copy/paste the result into Excel anyway.

The original developer even had written a note on the application page that pulling the data "could take long". Yeah because it's so fucking STUPID that Clippy is an Einstein in comparison, that's why!

So I pulled the raw data via batch file without XML wrapping and wrote a little C program for merging the dumped stuff client-side in O(n), spitting out a final CSV for Excel import.

Instead of fucking the server for 1.5 hours and then crashing, shit is done after 7 seconds, out of which the actual data processing takes 40 bloody milliseconds!

I accidently lost a whole tables data today. Lucky me I also created a XML-file on the server which was for printing.
I parsed the files back into a simplexmlobject and recovered most of the lost data. 💪

I came from Android, in the xml you can put simply "match_parent" or "wrap_content", or align right or left.

Then I tried to use Xcode interface builder for iOS. now I am sad and feeling bad. why Apple, why

So we got these webservices, that are written in XML and they needed to be parsed and converted into a JSON-model. Well...

So yeah XML is still not solved in year 2018. Or so did I realize the last days.
I use jackson to serialize generic data to JSON.

Now I also want to provide serialization to XML. Easy right? Jackson also provides XML serialization facitlity similar to JAXB.

Works out of the box (more or less). Wait what? *rubbing eyes*

<User>
<pk>234235</pk>
<groups typeCode="usergroup">
<pk>6356679041773291286</pk>
</groups>
<groups typeCode="usergroup">
<pk>1095682275514732543</pk>
</groups>
</User>

Why is my groups property (java.util.Set) rendered as two separate elements? Who the fuck every though this is the way to go?

So OK *reading the docs* there is a way to create a collection wrapper. That must be it, I thought ...

<User typeCode="user">
<pk>2540591810712846915</pk>
<groups>
<groups typeCode="usergroup">
<pk>6356679041773291286</pk>
</groups>
<groups typeCode="usergroup">
<pk>1095682275514732543</pk>
</groups>
</groups>
</User>

What the fuck is this now? This is still not right!!!

I know XML offers a lot of flexibility on how to represent your data. But this is just wrong ...

The only logical way to display that data is:
<User typeCode="user">
<pk>2540591810712846915</pk>
<groups>
<groupsEntry typeCode="usergroup">
<pk>6356679041773291286</pk>
</groupsEntry>
<groupsEntry typeCode="usergroup">
<pk>1095682275514732543</pk>
</groupsEntry>
</groups>
</User>

It would be better if the individual entries would be just called "group" but I guess implementing such a logic would be pretty hard (finding a singular of an arbitrary word?).

So yeah theres a way for that * implementing a custom collection serializer* ... wait is that really the way to go? I mean common, am I the only one who just whants this fucking shit just work as expected, with the least amount of suprise?
Why do I have to customize that ...

So ok it renders fine now ... *writes test for it+
FUCK FUCK FUCK. why can't jackson not deserialize it properly anymore? The two groups are just not being picked up anymore ...

SO WHY, WHY WHY are you guys over at jackson, JAXB and the like not able to implement that in the right manner. AND NOT THERE IS ONLY ONE RIGHT WAY TO DO IT!

*looks at an apple PLIST file* *scratches head* OK, gues I'll stick to the jackson defaults, at least it's not as broken as the fucking apple XML:

<plist version="1.0">
<dict>
<key>PayloadOrganization</key>
<string>Example Inc.</string>
<key>PayloadDisplayName</key>
<string>Profile Service</string>
<key>PayloadVersion</key>
<integer>1</integer>
</dict>
</plist

I really wonder who at apple has this briliant idea ...

#justdevthings
That moment when you're so engrossed in your project that you lose track of time. You begin to SEE code irl, not just on screens. Things like hunger, environment and a sense of time fade away. That feeling when the code just works, but better when it doesn't and you figure out a smart fix. Oh gosh ill pay to feel like that all day.

I wrote a shitty layout for an android side project. It haunted me. I could still SEE the shitty xml long after the pc was shut down. I had a nightmare about it and woke up sweating, and all I could see was xml. Fkin xml man. I redid the layout at 3am and boy was i so satisfied.
I think that was just the tetrix effect taking its toll on me.

I always got screwed by parents for being on that machine all day, back in school. But none of that matters now. I can now feel the code running in my veins and flowing into the machine. I can now feel my heart throbbing at the sight of such beauty. They ask how i manage my social life. I say everything goes well until i start a side project, that's when social life gets fucked hard. I think I'm gonna die one day after performing the final commit.

well obviously... :eyeroll:

java it is a black box that convert XML to SQL

Java is a DSL to convert XML files into long stack traces.

sr: XML is difficult format parse PDF instead.

me: (-_-)ゞ゛

checks code...

foo.fooBar = element
.match("<XMLELement>(.*)</XMLElement>")[1]
?.trim();

me: (☉_☉)

Do you know why you should never use grep when working with XML?

$ grep packet/> final.pdml
> *shit, that takes too long, ctrl+c*
$ du final.pdml
> 0 final.pdml

That's why.

Working on a new payment gateway for one of my customers, and it turns out that instead of just specifying the parameters for what to include in the API call they want you to use their drop-in module for it...which is still written in PHP 4 and hasn't been updated since 2011. Also turns out that they only accept data formatted in XML.

Not insurmountable, but more than I feel like dealing with right this moment...

For some project, I wrote this algoritem in Java to parse a lot of XML files and save data to database. It needs to have some tricks and optimisations to run in acceptable time. I did it and in average, it run for 8-10 minutes.

After I left company they got new guy. And he didn't know Java so they switched to PHP and rewrote the whole project. He did algorithm his way. After rewrite it run around 8 hours.

I was really proud of myself and shocked they consider it acceptable.

GraphQl because I work only with XML+SOAP

Management directed a 2-month project including 5 developers, 3 DBAs, plus Q&A to replace a SOAP service that retrieved data from a single table. End result, project lasted 9+ months, 5 spectacular failed 3:00AM deployments, and a WCF service that retrieved data from a single table. Justification? Management wanted to eliminate SOAP, because SOAP uses XML and XML is slow. Thank goodness no one opened up Fiddler to see how WCF communicates.

I used to think that using XML was history... How wrong can one be :/

<tag attr="value" />

or

<tag attr="value"/>

It hurts my eyes, when I see the second one.

So for those of you keeping track, I've become a bit of a data munger of late, something that is both interesting and somewhat frustrating.

I work with a variety of enterprise data sources. Those of you who have done enterprise work will know what I mean. Forget lovely Web APIs with proper authentication and JSON fed by well-known open source libraries. No, I've got the output from an AS/400 to deal with (For the youngsters amongst you, AS/400 is a 1980s IBM mainframe-ish operating system that oriiganlly ran on 48-bit computers). I've got EDIFACT to deal with (for the youngsters amongst you: EDIFACT is the 1980s precursor to XML. It's all cryptic codes, + delimited fields and ' delimited lines) and I've got legacy databases to massage into newer formats, all for what is laughably called my "data warehouse".

But of course, the one system that actually gives me serious problems is the most modern one. It's web-based, on internal servers. It's got all the late-naughties buzzowrds in web development, such as AJAX and JQuery. And it now has a "Web Service" interface at the request of the bosses, that I have to use.

The programmers of this system have based it on that very well-known database: Intersystems Caché. This is an Object Database, and doesn't have an SQL driver by default, so I'm basically required to use this "Web Service".

Let's put aside the poor security. I basically pass a hard-coded human readable string as password in a password field in the GET parameters. This is a step up from no security, to be fair, though not much.

It's the fact that the thing lies. All the files it spits out start with that fateful string: '<?xml version="1.0" encoding="ISO-8859-1"?>' and it lies.

It's all UTF-8, which has made some of my parsers choke, when they're expecting latin-1.

But no, the real lie is the fact that IT IS NOT WELL-FORMED XML. Let alone Valid.

THERE IS NO ROOT ELEMENT!

So now, I have to waste my time writing a proxy for this "web service" that rewrites the XML encoding string on these files, and adds a root element, just so I can spit it at an XML parser. This means added infrastructure for my data munging, and more potential bugs introduced or points of failure.

Let's just say that the developers of this system don't really cope with people wanting to integrate with them. It's amazing that they manage to integrate with third parties at all...

Was curious about if there are any true benefits to using XML and ended up on this page. What the actual fuck? I might be missing something here, but what's "more secure" about XML? xD

Attribute "label" in element "label" in the namespace "label" in a file called "labels.xml"...
Cool, thanks for that.

Who the hell returns a SOAP response with a CDATA node containing a text string that is a concatenation of XML document?

Someone hates me...

When I asked the client if they have an existing API with xml or json, they said that they will send me Excel xlsx per email.

Why use an Accept header when you can do this, right?

randomapi.com/random/resource/json
randomapi.com/random/resource/xml

🤦‍♂️

I'm already feeling it, I'm gonna have a great time with this API

!rant
I need to learn xml. any resource suggestion ?

XML isn't too bad, as long as it's fully standards compliant and uses an DTD.

In other words, about 2% of XML documents in the wild.

For God's sake why can't you just keep consistency across your fucking files? I have to parse 3 different XML files from the same source where I have "ZipCode", "zipCode" and "Code" for the same thing.

Not to mention that the file that contains all the streets in the country have literally one street node for every motherfucking street. Not one city parent and multiple street children that would make sense and would be faster to parse, but clearly that wasn't your intention you retarded cunt.

Being able to learn the basics of many languages so that I can do things the fastest way.
Because the Dutch national railway uses fucking XML for their api

i hate ios storyboard
its a disaster
its not Version controllable, also its not as good as android xml layouts where you can just copy paste someone else xml to get a view exactly like his
right now I have to clone a git repo, to open it in xcode, just to see how the guy has set up one of his textFields so that I can create a textfield like his

When you contact the API communication support of the supplier, and several emails and test cases later they still fail to understand your problem.

There are few things I hate worse than working with XML in C#

Management forbade the use of XML in favor of the faster, formatted strings that looked like opening alligator jaws facing left and right. Yes, he used the term ‘alligator jaws’.

Last night I looked at an Android app.
Going to put it bluntly, I don't like java much.

But Android takes it to a whole new level.
I was talking to our (SlimRoms) framework dev about how the database transactions used to take 400ms, and it was cut down to 10ms by, changing to xml with some kind of a reflector (so xml would be saved in the background).
This is atrocious. As a web developer, I live in a world where you can do thousands of transactions in that time (albeit on faster hardware).

So how is it that all of the abstractions in Android add up to a single read/insertion in Android (and I'm talking about an app written by Google) takes 400ms?

Every time I go in that channel to talk to them, I find something screwed up. Gah.

I don't think I've been more excited about anything than my very first application.

This was when I was just starting out with programming. I had chosen C++ as my first programming language.

A friend and I'd written a simple application to fetch XML data from a sports data server, parse it and display our favourite football (soccer, for Americans) team's fixtures and results on a GUI.
We called it Sportify.

XML 👏 AND 👏 XSLT 👏 SUCK 👏

We have to use a API from a customer that requires the XML we send to be sorted in a certain way.

I've been trying to query some data from an 18 GB xml DB through BaseX for about 9 hours without success.

Just wondered how LinQ would work with the same xml info. Just got the info I needed in less than 15 minutes.

God bless LinQ.

One time someone decided to make a "Condition Checking Framework" so you could check conditions at runtime using pre-configured XML files.

...yeah, someone made XML based if statements.

...they were very proud.

...

Good knowledge of ORM tools like web services and XML? Really?

FUCK UPS. Fucking dickheads killed our XML api a month ahead of schedule, and now I'm having to quickly implement stuff for their new api, and their docs are fucking dogshit. Seriously, the united parcel service can burn to death in a god damn fire.

Just found out that MQTT.fx stores user credentials in plain text in a xml file.
WTF?!
I mean it's only stored locally but it's still a bit worrying.

(On conference call with potential client)
Me: ...yes, you can interface with our system via our documented interfaces, using either JSON or XML...
Client: That's too hard. Can I just email you guys a Word doc or something?
Sales Rep: Yep, we can totally handle that, no problem.

Using an api: ok, this url (.../xml/endpoint) gives me an xml-document. Oh, and there is a node whose text contains html markup, interesting.
Using the same endpoint, but requesting json: yep, that's the same data, there even is this big html string and... why is this string in a json object wrapped inside "<![CDATA[...]]>"?

If i ever see a courtroom from the inside i'll plead insanity.

I'm learning Android development in my spare time. As a web dev who tasted css, writing styles in xml makes me drill my eyes.

When udacity makes you do 2 full sections on XML for Android and then tells you to download Android Studio and it's like "here let me write that for you but without fucking it up"

That moment when you have to exchange data with another system using XML-Files serval hundred MBs in size instead of a proper REST API (ノಠ益ಠ)ノ彡┻━┻

So the guy who i mentioned previously with his shitty csv made webservice which i needed to use.

It returned utf-8 encoded xml:
- in file the header contained central europe encoding
- the xml had more roots
- basically he only put his csv format inside xml tags
- csv contained html tags but there wasnt cdata

Now work with this lol

I neded to cut this shit with string functions and also some numeric data get with regexp from htm table td's

Whyyyyyyyyyyyy

Let's code in xml ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)

Shortly after I started working with the windows eventviewer (xml output) i ended up at the psych ward.

There were other things but the xml was the final drop.

OMFG this SAP hybris backoffice is such a disfunctional piece of shit. The simplest modification is like going through dozends of places, changing weird named XML stuff. I consider myself good at seeing the whole picture of an API ... but this ... this isn't something I would even call API ... IT'S shit, pure and utter shit.
Sockets, widgets XML, config XML, widget-configurations, definition.xml widgetcontroller .... not even the docs are clear (or existing for that matter) ... ARG !"§$%&/(O

Writing code is a tedious job.
Let's write 20k lines of XML transforms instead.

Many months into the project, we discovered that the client doesn't have a REST API for the data we needed from their side available at all - it's a legacy SOAP service.

I somehow got our Node.JS backend to do SOAP calls and use the XML results.

I'm not sure if I should feel proud or dirty at this point.

There's people that should be in jail.

Or at least they should be banned to use a computer. And I'm looking directly at this company that provides a dodgy API, which is just a ton of static XML files hosted behind an apache. One file per language, of course. You want the prices too? Another url. In German? Oh, another url.

Wait, they're working on v3!! Which will support... json! I don't give a damn about json as long as you provide some sanity with your urls godfuckit.

Why do people keep inventing new object serialisations when there is already JSON and XML? Why do people think that a custom format and parser would be better than an industry standard and a parser that has years of development improvements? :-S

How would you teach / punish these people?

In my project to process CSV file it needs to be transformed into XML file. Basically 100 MB CSV is turned into 3GB XML. They can be deleted afterward but it is not implemented and no one cares. Our storage gains around 1-2 TB data each month. Right now we have ~200 TB of XML in our s3
I think I can add Big Data to my CV *sarcasm*

Took a half day for a dental appointment and got a root canal done. Still not as painful as the meeting this afternoon. SOAP vs REST discussion which developed into JSON vs XML. I am getting NOTHING done.

When you take your fast but plain cgi scripts and convert them to fastcgi...
"no way the page parsed and analyzed 325 XML trees this fast" 😇

Content-Type: application/xml;q=0.9; charset=utf-8…

When their app is 90% sure it serves XML.

Holiday in 6 days, wohoo. 3weeks in Thailand. So ready for it.

Currently working on a huge real estate website. Design got approved yesterday, yesterday I finally got partial access to the clients real estate data. Where the data is uploaded to our server as zip files containing a xml file and files attached to it.
Deadline is tomorrow, but has been pushed back 2-3 weeks, which sucks as I probably have to work whilst on vacation

Project idea:
Writing something akin to JavaFX or WPF to use with Rust.

A fairly easy to use XML-oriented system for writing run of the mill GUI apps for the desktop

Not sure if I am Allowed to ask general questions here but here's the thing. I just began making Android apps. I have made a few basic of them and I use constraint layout via the layout editor in Android Studio. Is it okay? Do professionals do the same or do they actually type in the xml code?

I just can't believe in what state are the "leading" eCommerce systems. It just gives me depression and I'm totally desperate. :(

After 10-15 years one is xml hell, another is insane modules DIY administration, and the last one is bugy slugish mess. Try to guess which one is which.

Trying to create an html parser for terminal devrant, and it's really hard. Made a working xml parser for now. It actually worked!

My workplace is still using xml based configuration, and non-spring boot projects.

So every spring boot tutorial I find feels like "Look at how easy you can get this running" and then it's just actually a toy you can't get into production.

Also it kind of bugs me that you need to be online to actually be able to initialize/create a spring boot project and every single tutorial says so.
You can make a local network m2 repository, but can one make a spring initializer service?

Either way, migrating every single project to Spring boot is a no-no,

And I'm stuck with like 5 prototypes of SSO integration from which only 2 work, and the other 3 have their own problems.

One does redirect to the login and all, but the SAML endpoint gets 404 on response when you log in.

One is on OpenID Connect, but I would need to update the project from Spring 3 to Spring 5 to get it working, which upon attempting to do seems to break everything else.

One has an external library handling the security context just the way we are accustomed to, but it only does a 401 forbidden when you go without logging in and I'm starting to think it is actually one of those that require you to extract the token or something manual like that, which wouldn't work for us

The other two are spring boot tutorials that worked out of the box, both SAML and OpenID, still can't use those for the main projects.

I'm tired of dealing with this configuration hell, been two months at this, I want to get features done as usual, not be stuck configuring stuff that might or might not work.

Rant aside, I think I figured I need to use a different Security adapter, but I needed to vent.

TeamLeader : "Come two seconds"

TL : "I'd like you to check that out when you do that"

Me: "But it's your job to do this"

TL: "Yeah, but I'd like you to just check in case I forgot"

THEN DO YOUR FKING TASK PROPERLY WHATS THE POINT IF YOU FORGOT AND I DO IT

Edit my english sucks

My boss wants me to write a program that would essentially put me out of a job. For £7.00 an hour at that, I'm not wrong to say it has an unforeseen issue am I?

I have a friend called Jason(JSON for me)
I guess if his father's name would be XML.

"Go check out the EAGLE documentation so you know how to properly parse its generated xml files"
(The whole docs just says "sorry, no documentation" every fucking where, not just the part in the picture...)

So, i decided to Start making an Android App (quite a big Project to me), so i we're Reading books und Programming Yesterday for 12, today for 10 hours, everything worked Out perfectly, i fehlt great.
(But, Thats the rule, never feel too confident)

So i wanted to Put the Last Activity in my App, chanhed the XML etc.
At the end i thought i should run it one Last Time before i shutdown my PC.
Well, Error in my XML, tried to fix it for 1 hour (quiet a Long Time for 8 lines of Code), didnt Work.
I pressed Ctrl+z until it reached the Point where it Last Time worked... Still doesnt Work.

So, i am quiet pissed Off, and sleepy.
My Dilemma, eat and sleep? Or try to fix everything...

I hate when there is more xml markup than actual data...

Working with dildos-for-brain people! I asked how to achieve something and if I got an answer it stated: never saw something like that implemented before (It really means that people here just copy/paste shit and use iterative development method until they nab the solution)!!!

Really? I just asked to have nested XML structure, it's been around since early 90'!

I have new weekend project - polish my CV and get the fuck out of here. When it feels like you are smartest in the room and for every question for help people just throw you random answers not related to question at all it is not worth staying there.

Also using outdated XML server CMS that ceased its support, documentation is shoddy and internet never heard of it - only relevant google search leads to the CMS website. Good luck! Good fucking luck!

This shit went overboard so many times and I decided that this is the last time. I have 2 more fucks to give and those are for me!

Fast XML parser - fastest XML parser in nodjs without any dependency

I was watching some mobile coding stuff and I've discovered Flutter.
I've seen a lot of people hyped for this framework, so I've downloaded a couple apps made with it.
Amazing UI and animations, but everything feels laggy.
Then I've tried it, and I don't see why all this hype. I fell better build mobile app on the "classic" way (Kotlin/xml). Is it me, or Flutter is overrated?

I just wanted to read news

almost one entire day debugging why Soap Client gives some strange errors to find out that the 3rd party service we are calling is returning plain XML instead of a valid Soap message :(

Fuck you Android ! Why the fuck does making my fucking status bar transparent has to be more difficult than launching a mars mission with a team of chimpanzees. I have been trying everything from xml styles to fucking java code but the status bar won't take the tint. Been at this fucking shit for 2 days

me: builds a python-script to transport data in .json-format into a config-file written in .xml for a coworker
my boss: "I am glad you have earned yourself a reputation as the 'programmer' in our team"

How working with xml / soap / sockets in this beautiful REST / json / amqp world feels like

Keep going into application level timeouts and insufficient number of xml messages frames transmitted through tcp sockets.

Found that a "custom" C-written xml parser needs 10 seconds to find the core data within 2500 chars of that xml.

I knew that C is blazing fast but that's until it's used by some dick head.

Hello everyone.
I recently started android app development and i wanted to ask if you code entirely in java/kotlin or use xml+java/kotlin ?
I feel like to get better i should code entirely in java/kotlin. Am i wrong?

The Amazon MWS API is so utterly shite! Offers error messages sometimes then others tells you to upload your file to their file checker. Their file checker doesn’t accept XML so why say that?

Who on earth develops and documents their shit APIs?

Fuck you Amazon

Well been working on my game engines CLI data tools for a while now, got sprite packing working but completely forgot I had to work out a packing method for JSON, XML and a few other files into 1 package... Fuck...

At least the easy part is done, just need to work out a proper and efficient way to store everything...

Building Jasper reports in XML with an early buggy beta of iReport for visuals. So painful.

What is the "best" framework to develop mobile apps?
I tried android studio (native java etc)
And Fuse (XML/js framework for native iOS and android)
Since android studio isn't a fast development and Fuse doesn't had a big community with support, I thought about angular and native script. Any experience? Any advice?