Crashing is the only thing windows does quickly.

When my co-workers thinks it is fun to add this to my bashrc when i was away:

alias cd='exit'

Meanwhile, in real life...

Want to work on a pet project, but gf demands all of my time. So, I work at nights. Then I get bitched at why I'm always tired and don't want to do anything -.-

Went up to a booth of some small company with nobody in line and they rejected me flat out because I hadn't had a previous internship. they laid out their requirements (which were higher than Microsoft's I might add) and then said they still wanted to keep my resume. i told them that their requests were ridiculous, then grabbed my resume out of their hands and told them I'd give it to somebody worth my time

When it's 10pm and you decide to install Arch Linux.

Suddenly, it's 6AM and you still don't have it working correctly...

Am I the only programmer who doesn't like coffee?

Nothing makes me sicker than a programmer who chooses the light theme rather than dark

A developer walks into a bar and sees two tables. Says "can I join you?" 😂

How many of you work with C#?

Why int can't swim?

Because they don't float. 😁

When you're a better programmer then your tech teacher (he studied video editing in college so he gets a break) so you're expected to resolve everyone's tech issues while you don't know much yourself so you have to cheat your way through. 😩😩

Good thing I'm the only one not using graphical view in dream weaver. Lol

<label>
Name</label>

I don't know what kind of maniac formats their HTML like this. How do you sleep well at night?

Once in a while I feel like Big Head on Silicon Valley when he was at Hooli. Guess it is not the worst thing. Maybe they will promote me to the moonshot department.
Maybe some day I will get his type of buyout.

When I try to follow a stack overflow example.. =D

when i merge two files manually

Programming: where getting something to break in a different way counts as progress. 🙌🏼

It will be fun they said...it's a trap!

A man flying in a hot air balloon suddenly realizes he’s lost. He reduces height and spots a man down below. He lowers the balloon further and shouts to get directions,"Excuse me, can you tell me where I am?"

The man below says: "Yes. You're in a hot air balloon, hovering 30 feet above this field."

"You must work in Information Technology,"says the balloonist.

"I do" replies the man. "How did you know?"

"Well," says the balloonist, "everything you have told me is technically correct, but It's of no use to anyone."

The man below replies, "You must work in management."

"I do," replies the balloonist, "But how'd you know?"*

"Well", says the man, "you don’t know where you are or where you’re going, but you expect me to be able to help. You’re in the same position you were before we met, but now it’s my fault."

Does anyone else find themselves dreaming solutions to their code?

Use Vim. What could happen?...

When a hiring manager wants 5+ years experience in Swift.

Swift release date = June 2, 2014

😂👍🖕

Everyone always says the previous developer was crap, sometimes you're right

Why does everything work perfectly until you're showing someone -_-

We have all had this happen xD
- via CodeChef

First Law of code