WordPress has really cool features!
You can uninstall it, for example.

OW FUCKING GREAT

BEEN CREATING THIS WEBSITE FOR 1 MONTH USING REACTJS. IT'S HALFWAY DONE. NOW THE HIGHER UPS CHANGES THEIR DECISION THAT WE HAVE TO MAKE IT WITH WORDPRESS.

FUUUUUCCCCKKKK. I'M FUCKING OUT.

After 1,5 months of customer support as a Linux support engineer, I can honestly say:

Fuck wordpress.

"Oh, he is asking that much money for this website? I will create that for only $250 with WordPress. He is just trying to use you"

You fucking wanker. What you don't understand is that you are pushing the companies to a fucking black hole that they won't be able to recover from.

He shows an example of a website which takes 30 sec to load. It's full of hundreds of dreadful plugins. He chose the shittiest stock pictures to make it look "pretty".

When I point out his fucking shite website takes this long to load, he says if the company wants to make the website fast, they will need buy the premium plan of CloudFlare. WHAT THE FUCK are you even talking about?

Not only that, the example website, doesn't even have any SSL. He is saying that the other company didn't want to pay for the SSL. Ever heard of fucking StartSSL or LetsEncrypt?

It's people like you who is responsible for making half of the web an insecure, slow, low-performance space which is prone to hacking.

WordPress was made for blogging. KEEP IT THAT WAY. Stop trying to make your high-performance CMS or eCommerce website with this shite.

Finally a guide for understanding if you should use WordPress for your website

FUCK WORDPRESS TO DEATH!

Seriously, I have a degree in computer science and I can't for the fucking lfie of it understand the fucking architecture of fucking WORDPRESS!

How many fucking times when developing fucking shitty wordpress sites for clients you spent 66% of the time debugging some stupid fucki9ng shit related to the retarded monolithic fucking stupid architecture of this huge retarded abomination which should be killed in a fire with dragonfire.

How many fucking times while using trellis sage bedrock mother fucking super uber framework bubblegum you find yourself struggling with the fgucking broweser shit sync or some other fucking stupid bubblegum fix shit to make wordpress even remotely a decent experience to work with?

Even when buffed with a fucking shitton of boilerplate shit code from people who want developers to not fucking kill themselves while working on this fucking piece of shit framework the developing experience with wordshit makes me want to blow my fucking brains out with a desert eagle.

I seriously can't fucking stress how fucking shit this whole framework is and I seriously hope people stop using it for good. Wordpress was made by a bunch of fucking retarded monkeys who barely knew how to write afucking hello world.

This is the last fuckign time Im ever going to accept a wordpress project from my clients this fucking framework has driven me mad for fu cking years and i've finally had it with thsi fucking piece of shit framework and i fucking hope it gets buried 1000 km down and never dug up ever fuckign again.

Wordpress is the single most fucking horrid abomination that has ever been created in the fucking history of the tech industry.

Seeing "powered with WordPress" at the bottom of a site

Someone advised him that WP runs faster on Ruby.

Now, he wants me to port WordPress to RubyOnRails !!!

I made a wordpress plugin
(don't ask, it's practice for an internship)
The plugin turns every element that does not have a child into an image of a rubber ducky at a speed of 6 rubber ducks a minute.

People who use WordPress and call themselves web developers are also the ones who think that HTML is a programming language.

So, rage time.

A few months ago I inherited a big Wordpress website, with around 750 pages.

The client has reported the main menu is broken.

Upon looking at the code it appears the previous "Wordpress Developer" (ahem ...) attempted to rewrite navigation system - no idea why.

As part of the 4000 class below is a screenshot of part of the file where he's determining if the current menu item is active, within a loop. Whilst the whole if statement spans 409 lines - the code basically continues exactly the same downwards.

Shameful :/

Real conversation:

dev 1: so what are you working on these days?

dev 2: some wordpress project.

dev1: hahaha. wordpress is shit. are you a real developer?

dev 2: have you ever used wordpress?

dev1: no.

dev2: okay.

WordPress...

“We want a new website, but not in HTML, we need Wordpress.”

Oh you poor client...

Just dodged a WordPress bullet.

Phew that was close.

Guys, I don't understand all the WordPress hate here. It's the best backdoor with integrated blogging system I've ever seen.

Client: Do you know how to make this WordPress faster?
Me: yup.

* 30 minutes later*

Me: *googles* "How to make WordPress faster"

F*ck WordPress!! That is all.

WordPress - 3k lines in functions.php

Few months ago I stopped making anything on WordPress (code style wasn't for me, less reinventing the wheel), yet got offered well paid job with mostly WP responsibilities.
People ask me - why I stopped making stuff on WordPress? Welp...

A CMS raping WordPress so hard up the ass till there is no tomorrow. I hate that bastardized piece of fuck. “Hey I want you to fix my page and its wordpress. I pay 20 bucks.“ Well fuck you too sir. Wordpress is no cms you wanna be coders. Get back to your fucking photoshop and design something original! Every fucking wp page looks the same. Every “nice feature“ is some kind of monkeypatched workarround. No problem i set preview pictures for every post just to enable some weird slider to function.

I also love those buttfucked files with just a “require foo“ which also just requires “bar“. Drop that fuck. Implement autoloading. Nobody uses php4 anymore step into the future. “easy to learn“ fuck me and fuck you untill you vomit jizz! Clusterfucked spaghetticode thats easy, easy to put another rotten load of clusterfuck on top. Also those security features. I put an empty index.php to prevent directory traversal. N I C E! Stop using wordpress as CMS, its a blog engine. Nothing great has every been written on top of wordpress and never will. I dare you to deny everything related to it and if you are one of those designer guyd, you can gargle my jizz you fucknut!

Starting 2017 i will start a counter and rape every 10th Wordpress which gets abused as cms i encounter into oblivion on their 0,99$ webhosting shit.

Fuck this I'm so mad about that crap

Dear Marketing Guy,

You had no right to manipulate the perfectly working "WordPress" site, but since you have done it by injecting a script you found on the internet in functions.php, It is now my unpaid job to fix this mess.

Yours truly,
Underpaid Developer

P.S. Fuck you

So I was forced to use WordPress...

When the client thinks WordPress is a coding language.

Agreeing to do sth with WordPress

Building a cool vs code like command palette for wordpress 😍😍😍

Today it finally happened. After years of unsecured FTP, `chmod -R 777 public_html` and outdated WordPress sites, a WordPress site at work just got hacked. They were just asking for it.

Too bad I'm the one who has to fix it tomorrow...

When people call themselves a "professional web developer," but all they do is set up a Wordpress site with a custom skin. Alright then! 🙄

q: What programming language is your speciality?
a: I'm a senior WordPress developer

ummm ok.

FUCK THE WORDPRESS ECOSYSTEM AND FUCK THE FUCKING ONE CLICK DEPLOYMENT LIES OH YES WITH WITH BITNAMI OFFERS YOU SHIT AND FUCK YOU FUCKK YOUUUU SERIOUSLY FUCK YOU MADE ME AN ANGRY AND SICK FUCK.

I hate Wordpress. I hate Wordpress. I hate Wordpress.

Wordpress can take a big shit on itself and crawl into a deep dark hole far away from all that is good.

Who even uses Wordpress? Bloggers? Come on, let’s be honest, they’re using more intuitive sites like weebly, wix, and square space. So WHAT is Wordpress for? I’ll tell you, it’s just to FUCKING TORTURE PEOPLE.

So, being the “techy guy” of the family, a relative contacts me asking for some help with their website because they need to install an SSL certificate but they don’t know how to. I tell them I’d gladly do it because, sure, they’re family and how long can it possibly take to install a certificate? I’ve done it before!

Well, I get to work and log into the sluggish Wordpress dashboard and try to use a plugin that would issue a LetsEncrypt certificate because they are free and just as good as any other SSL. But one plugin after the next I keep getting errors about how my hosting wouldn’t allow it.

So I contact GoDaddy (don’t get me fucking started) and ask them about the issue. The guy tells me it’s “policy” to only be able to use GoDaddy’s certificates. How much do they cost? Oh, how about $100 a year?! Fuck you.

I figured out the only way to escape this hell was to ask them to open an economy Linux hosting account with cPanel on GoDaddy (the site was formerly hosted on a “Managed Wordpress” account which is just bullshit for not wanting to give you any control over your own goddamn content). So now I have to deal with migrating the site.

GoDaddy representative tells me that it should only take 20 minutes for me to do this (I’ve already spent way too much time on this but whatever) so I go forward with the new account. I decide I should migrate the site by exporting a backup and manually placing everything on the new server. Doesn’t it end up taking an entire hour to back up a 200MB site because GoDaddy throttled the processing speed?!

So, it’s another hour later and I’ve installed all the databases and carried over all the files. At this point, I’m really at the end of my rope and can’t wait to install the certificate and be done with this fuckery.

I install the certificate and finally get ready to be on my way, but then I see it. A warning. A warning from my browser telling me the site is only partially secure. It turns out the certificate was properly installed but whoever initially made the site HARDCODED ALL THE LINKS to images, websites, and style sheets to be http instead of https.

I’m gonna explode.

I swear, I’m gonna fucking explode.

After a total of 5 hours of work, I finally get the site secure by using search and replace on every fucking file.

Wordpress can go suck a big one. Actually, Wordpress can go suck the largest fuckin one in existence and choke on it.

TL;DR I agree to install an SSL certificate but end up with much more work than I bargained.

Ok, some @#$#!!@ at my company set the WordPress cache directory to "/" on a Linux server, some other plugin triggered the cache clear and the Apache user was the owner of almost all the WordPress directories of several MU installations, this all happened on a Friday afternoon.

The major blunder here is that you're using WordPress

Wordpress sucks

Potential Client Project:
"HIPAA compliant WordPress website"

Me: Can you tell me more about the website you're trying to publish?

Client: Site for uploading patient medical test results

Me: 🤦‍♂️ Fuuuuuuck. Sorry, you're on your own.

WORDPRESS?!?!

Me when I'm forced, at gunpoint, to work with a butchered Wordpress site with 116 activated plugins.

fuckpress.Pi
Yep, thata right. Fuck Wordpress Raspberry Pi. Thanks to my inability to interact with proton mail filtering I just made a script that checks for a new email and if it contains words "wordpress", "help", " hack", "build" and it is not from whitelisted contact, the email is moved to the Fuckpress folder and automatic reply is sent back that I AM NOT FUCKING DOING YOUR GAYPRESS FUCKING SHIT FOR YOUR 5$ CUNT.
rant over

Today a friend asked if I could fix her friends website, it is made in wordpress.

My reaction "hmm ewh wordpress, but I can take a look"

Then it hit me, my friend is a webdev and doesnt want to do wordpress herself.

I might get contacted about it soon and thus more rants may follow.

Me right now trying to figure out WordPress. I'm a total noob

FUCK YOU WORDPRESS

Omfg never been so fucking pissed in my life.

I just wasted 3 hours because this fucking bullshit rewrites the fucking URL based on the URL on a config fucking file?!!?

It fucking ignores: apache virtual host configs and nginx reverse proxy

omfg...

Girl I work with says she's going to make a change on the "back-end of the website"... logs into Wordpress... no comment, just keep swimming

9:30 - College
10:00 - Heard we got to build a fucking portfolio website in WordPress.
10:02 - Said I already had a personal portfolio
10:03 - Heard I still have to build a fucking WordPress portfolio website..
11:20 - Remembered I put on my portfolio that I don't want to fucking use WordPress!!!!!

Now - I live in pain. Building a WP site so I do NOT have to do it later :/

Wordpress :(

Here is another piece of garbage from a previous Wordpress "developer".

This is NOT the generated HTML, it's the actual source code within a custom category template.

The client has said their archives stopped working this year.

*** MASSIVE FACE PALM ***

New job today, here is my start so far:
coworker: Hi, first you have to set up your lamp project..
me: Good, let's do it.. Please give me the repo git URL
coworker: here is everything, but.... the database is on MySQL.
me: ok, did you have any TeamSQL or something to track this?
coworker: nop.
me: check the database and see the whole file size is 4GB.... Checking the file on plain .txt i see the problem WORDPRESS.

So far to import this file on my LAMP i use Bigdump script and works like a charm.

coworker: Take it easy dude, it's your first day. You can do this task in a few days, don't rush it.

me: :/

Fuck it, I'll just use Wordpress

You study PHP, OO, Design Patterns, TDD, Zend Framework, Laravel, AngularJS...

Then you find a job, it's Wordpress...

Let me just quickly jump the WordPress wagon.

Fuck WordPress.

They asked me to make edits on a WordPress website.
I asked them to kill me.

When you know how to develop with WordPress but you hate it so much you dont even bother putting it on your CV as a skill.

I dunno if anyone else has said this here but
FUCK WORDPRESS DOT COM
FUCK WORDPRESS DOT ORG
FUCK WORDPRESS PLUGINS
FUCK THEIR DOCUMENTATION

That moment when your marketing manager makes technology decisions for your project and says "let's just use WordPress" ...

God, please make this be my last WordPress project 🙏

I need to let it out ...

I HATE WORDPRESS DAMN

Already feeling better 😧

I wrote a web crawler to find a few problems on my company's blog. I accidentally DOS'd the peice of shit with a single thread. Fuck WordPress.

You know what? I'm gonna write my own WordPress theme and I'll write it in my own docker compose.

I've just seen a WordPress inside another WordPress.

- Why was it made like this?
- If it works, you should not touch it.
- Ok. :/

My mom runs a website and I have to help sometimes. Which is fine.

The problem is, it's a WordPress site.

Client: Can you build me a custom Wordpress site to look like this WordPress template..
Me: Sure, but why not buy the rights to the template?
Client: I want it custom.
Me: what do you want custom?
Client: the content on all the pages. The template is all in french or something.
Me: kills self.

Me: *downloaded wordpress for first time*
Me: *opens folder in Atom*
.php file: Hi there! Welcome to your new bl-
Me: *delete wordpress folder and reformats hard drive*

+ Hey, I am a developer. A WordPress developer. What about you?
- bye

Of course WordPress!

Fuck you and your wordpress

Feeling awesome after migrate everything from WordPress to Laravel. Kill WP. Fuckkkkkkkk youuuuuuuu. 😣

How you look when you show up to your new job as a Senior WordPress Developer

🤘 😈😈😹 🤘
Wordpress documentation...
"
Hi all, 😎 welcome to wordpress.
Use it as your last resort. Fuck all programming langs. Php is love, php is life."

Oh by the way documentation also says:
"
Wordpress gives you all the freedom you can imagine. Say for instance... You can use any language for server EXCEPT python, ruby, java, c# and many more.[note: Keep looking for the updated list of EXCEPT as new languages come we add it here.]
"
😂😂😂

Qualifications and experience require to start a WordPress consultancy/brand agency:
• Be a marketing/people person.
• No technical requirements required.

Hate seeing others get clients and delivering half-assed solutions and deploying outdated and even insecure versions of everything.

Just downloaded a theme designed for WordPress... Holy. Fuck.
Is this normal? [pic related - style.css]

Classic Wordpress:

1. Find a problem
2. Throw 2 to 6 plugins on the problem.
3. Admit, that they don't fix the problem either.
4. Implement some crappy workaround yourself.

But: It could get worse. You could use Joomla as CMS. Same shit, but without the available mass of plugins.

I will get some free hate but:

WordPress is actually not so bad to provide a static website for small companies that just need a little exposure to the web, or for bloggers that actually want an easy to manage blog.
Every kid studying web design / web development and almost any web agency can probably easily handle WordPress and if you need to hire someone or someone else to manage your website, it won’t be difficult to find it.
Let’s not forget the huge community behind it, which provides pros and cons.

Vulnerabilities are often discovered by white hat guys and are immediately reported. Plus, there are tons of tools to test your WordPress website.

Same as plugins. Of course you should be attentive about what you download , there’s always some bad guys there, and also throwing 5302791 plugins in your website makes you an idiot, not WordPress

Instead of free bashing them, why not add your 2 cents to actually improve the product?

If you don’t like it, just pass over and go on something else.

P.s.: AlexDeLarge will be pissed if he doesn’t read the following : fuck You anti-WordPress rhinodick-suckers

"Don't you like the new site? (:"
I mean yeah, it's an upgrade from what was done in 2011 with 2007 recycled code.
But now the first access takes almost 10 seconds.
10
seconds.
Was fucking WordPress necessary?
We went from a hotel booking PHP template to a blogging template.
60+ freaking Mb of shit, not just content but *shit*. (from the admin panel, only 3 of the 10+ sections are needed)
At least they won't bother me now about the main page frontend.
Oh wait, they do. So I had to learn how to hack the theme header behaviour because of course, cute boy WordPress couldn't care less on how the header behaves. I see more hacks incoming of fucking course.

Man I fucking hate WordPress.

Dear wordpress developers,
You have my sincerest apologies. I used to think developing with wordpress is what people do when they are feeling lazy and dont want to work with code and frameworks. But no... wordpress,shopify and all those shitty ready CMSs are by far the worst methods of developing websites or web applications. I have spent countless hours in my new job in the past two months simply trying to resolve issues caused by wordpress websites suddenly deciding to stop working after one of the billion plugins required to do the simplest of tasks was updated. The money i need to spend on premium plugins alone makes developing the website no longer profitable in the first place. And god forbid the client asks for a very simple frontend edit that the theme doesnt offer in the theme options menu. Even tho doing the feature from scratch would take next to no time at all if you do it yourself... you end up trying out a hundred plugins just to achieve something in a ways that feels very forced. Nothing will ever top cakephp for me

Boss came in with new project:
boss shows me the design
me: it's a wordpress website ?
boss: client wants it with prestashop
me: but the brief is for an ecommerce website with 2 categories and a blog, wordpress with woocommerce and a blog should be enought
boss: no, client wants it with prestashop

oh I forgot, client wants it in a shared hosting server, where I can't add php extensions

started the project, fucked my weekend with anxiety and depression, and then products list came in ... 15 product

me: ok, I need to get the fuck out quick

I quit, I sleep at night, I smile with my kids ...

The web is dark and full of WordPress poorly configured...

Have a client who wants me to redesign his clothing store website which is on WordPress. I don't want to touch it... but I want the money :'(

Just logged into a clients WordPress website that needs help and they have 64 wordpress plugins installed FFS arrrrggghhh why people why!!!!!

During the first few months of my first professional development role, I had a really odd bug on a live WordPress site that I couldn't replicate locally, despite having the same code and dependency setup. Using WordPress was a mistake but not the one I'm writing about.

I decided to copy live site and its database. Then I thought it best to delete all the users from the copy of the database (I'm not sure why I thought I should do that) and I did so via the WordPress admin UI.

What I wasn't aware of was there was a custom function to email the user before they get deleted.

I got inundated with hundreds of confused/angry/hysterical users about their accounts being deleted, even though they hadn't actually been, and a telling off from the boss.

Me: “We should use WordPress so the marketing person doesn’t have to wait weeks to get on our dev schedule to make simple edits.”

Boss: “You’re fired for even suggesting we use WordPress. We are more pure than this.”

Me: *leaves company*

3 years later, company uses WordPress after boss who fired me is also fired.

Wordpress. The only backdoor with a plugin system and CMS included.

I have to clean ANOTHER. Hacked WordPress site. One wrong decision and you have to support it for the life time :'(

So, this is how WordPress hires... 🤔💥

Boss insists on using WordPress for every project cause it powers 25% of the web.

What is your favourite CMS???

Please don't say it's WordPress..

Me at the start of making first Wordpress theme: "I don't know why people complain about this?! It's great fun and easy!"

Me a week into developing said WordPress theme: "Damn it, they were right."

Fuck WordPress, because that's what we're hating today. Tomorrow we go back to Visual Studio.

Someone to me: "Can you optimize this website for Page Speed Insight"

Me: "But it's a fucking Wordpress,.. Go home."

Friday evening. Just finishing new website for my company. (Had to build it with wordpress) Boss wants to bring it online right before weekend. Switch domain to production. Nothing works anymore. Fuck Wordpress. 👿

Being forced to use wordpress for every fucking project because "everyone needs a cms and wordpress is the best".

Soon I have a 2-day course on website creation. Yaaay, let’s learn WordPress this brand new technology !

For the first time I tried to use WordPress. I spent almost 30mins. Now I decided I should not use that again in my life. Fuck WordPress.

One word. WordPress.
Thankfully, we are now creating custom solution with any technologies we pick.

Got my first Webdev job at a small marketing company, felt very lucky as I didn't have much experience. Turns out I'm the only one that could program. The other guys just use Wordpress. It felt wrong at first, using plugins instead of developing, but we got results and clients were happy. I felt like there was a lot less to this development thing than I'd previously thought! And so we continued.

But I noticed that some of our more plugin heavy sites (not made by me - these were made in some drag/drop Wordpress interface) were running slow. I mean 15 seconds load time slow. I joined devRant around the same time and discovered that no - this is not what normal development actually is. Wordpress seems universally hated. Thank god, because something seemed very wrong!

So with us getting complaints all over the place over page speed from relatively high-profile clients, I've gone and set up a script on a server that downloads the whole front end of these Wordpress sites and serves them up instead of the 'real' thing. Did I mention that there's basically no dynamic content on most of these sites? It works like a charm! I'm now trying to figure out how to get forms and route them into the real, hidden version of the site, as well as automatically updating the html views whenever the client changes anything in the Wordpress backend. Not sure if this has fixed the problem or just enabled bad practice, but I don't think I'm going to be able to stop the others from doing things this way...

For the record, yes there are plugins that do similar stuff but I thought it'd be nice to never use plugins again! And hey, I got to learn all about bash scripting so I can't complain.

For real though, I didn't quite realise how bad the Wordpress thing really was until I came here. Thanks for making me aware, all!

So the company I'm interning in just got a project in WordPress from an old client. I'm their "WordPress backend guy" apparently coz I'm apparently the only one who seems to know WordPress. The site has multiple malwares and they want to redesign the thing too. Work starts on Monday and now DevRant algo is showing me a lot of WordPress rants. Guess good times are ahead.

<rant>

The current state of WordPress developers:

😠 everything that came before me was completely broken
😴 everything that comes after me is unnecessary (i.e. npm, Node, React)
😱 everything I work with now is perfectly fine don't effing touch it (i.e. Gutenberg, Build tooling)

</rant>

People that made a couple PHP tweaks to WordPress be like, "I am a full stack developer." on LinkedIn.

The moment when they recommend you WordPress over Laravel just because it has better SEO.

Bitch, I write my own SEO. I'm not only on the first page I am the top result. Bet you didn't expect that.

I can't believe this is part of an official documentation (wordpress).
Tldr, they want to tell you how to remove all characters in the end of a file lol

God I fucking hate WordPress

Today I found out a single WooCommerce site is using 20% of database CPU (for comparison, 50 other sites use only 10% between them). Upon investigation it turns out that WooCommerce loads every single product in order to do the taxonomy count. Because the data is stored as PHP-serialised values in post meta, there's no way to do a decent "SELECT count() ... GROUP BY ...". And that code came straight from the WordPress devs, no more and no less...

A client is like: Help! We got a 500 in our wordpress administration panel and there is no error in the log, it must be your infrastructure at fault!

So I calmly replied to them that wordpress handles its errors on its own, and without the appropriate debug flags enabled, doesn't log it anywhere. Even mentioned that a PHP app can change the error handler no problem, and linked them to both, PHP and Word press docummentation.

Didn't hear from them since.

I just had a WordPress interview on Hangout and got rejected and the interviewer said I build very basic projects.
That's why he can't select me.

What kind of projects do they want??

What is wrong with all these WordPress designers who go around tagging themselves as Full stack developers, it really sucks

*Following a company page on LinkedIn
*Wordpress job was posted
*Unfollow and report the page

Just taken over a project from a "high end" London agency to find their code is just poorly copy/pasted examples from the WordPress codex.

Worst thing I've seen another dev do?

Wordpress.
Today.

When I say I code I mean I write fake HTML comments in the WordPress editor when the Client is watching me work so he doesn’t feel bad for paying me a month’s salary for doing what a 14 y/o is able to accomplish within two hours of googling

WHAT THE FUCK!!

For a freelance job I searched for a JS function in the HTML document of a Wordpress site that was given to me.

Found it and wanted to get started on the project, but there was something odd about this website (besides it's a Wordpress site). The scrollbar was fucking small and when I scrolled down, all I saw was breaks. An almost endless number of breaks.

Then suddenly There was a line of HTML!! And then another 126 breaks.. :/
(Yeah that's right, I calculated the number of breaks between every line of HTML). This document has 75732 lines of shit.

The whole fucking website loaded in over 20 seconds!! What the fuck is that?!?! The document itself is 258 kB!!

But whatever, I get paid.

Trying to communicate with a client's former "web guy" to transfer the clients domain back to my client so I can make changes to the design and make it mobile friendly.
He emails me "it's on Wordpress, so it's already responsive"

Go to double check on iPad and my phone. design is unresponsive...

Warning: w-rated for "wordpress", s-rated for "stupidity"

Yesterday in the morning I receive an E-Mail from a designer guy that we should update a plugin in a client's WP because their visual composer in the backend doesn't seem to work anymore.
My boss confirms the task. I'm fucked.
The anger in me rises.

So I try the Wordpress login, it works. I create a backup with Duplicator and run it locally. 2 hours later I found a solution so I want to upload the files to Abominationpress.
BUT THE FUCKING FTP LOGIN DOES NOT WORK...
I write him back asking for the correct login data. 24 hours later he writes me back the exact same username and password.
THANK YOU YOU LOBOTOMIZED BRAIN-AMPUTATED IDIOT.
It already gave me cancerherpes when he mentioned WP, but this shit is just fucking too much.
Now waiting for the response.

How a Wordpress site should NOT look

Wow so much hate for WordPress. Le me to the rescue 💀

Yes WP is bloated and crappy and full of security issues etc etc. Agreed. That doesn't mean it is useless though.

It is alright to use for someone who is not really good with web, someone who just needs a blog, someone who just needs a home page, about page and contact form with a possibility of updating photo and text once or two times a month.

It is not suitable for e-commerce nor lots of transactions/forms involving websites.

As long as you know what kind of horse/vehicle you are on, you won't end up in the dirt.

Ha ha just this happened, One young man is building some shit on Wordpress with bunch of free plugins. And he said i'm a good dev. And he's login page load speed is 47 seconds.

So last night a friend randomly found a raw not-yet-installed WordPress instance on a public domain that he found on a Facebook site (it was already linked for I don't know how long, but just not installed).

He told me about it and, being the guy I am, I signed up an account on some free MySQL hosting website, set up a database and used it for that WordPress site.

I then left a kind little note on the front page for the admin telling him that I just saved his ass since others could've done the same but posted racist shit or something and, also, told him not to use WordPress.

Even though I had no bad intentions, I used proxies and VPN connectsions because you never know how these people might react.

Hopefully they'll learn from it 😇

Oh my god I love when you just have that "click" moment when you just understand EVERYTHING. I've been trying to understand how WordPress worked and found a great video series by Mr Digital on youtube and now understand the inner workings of WordPress instead of just the general aspect on how to install a theme or how to use a plugin.

People say there are tons of resources online but a very small amount of them actually work for most people. I just glad I understand it now.

Basically any CMS, especially Wordpress. Fuck wordpress. Yeah, I know, it's not that bad, blah blah blah, but I've worked with it enough to know that I hate it. Even crappy tools have their diehard fanbase, just like how some folks love Nickelback and Kid Rock, despite the fact that their "music" is a hate crime against eardums everywhere. The only CMS I've worked with that didn't make me want to projectile vomit everywhere was Shopify.

On that note, can anyone recommend a decent CMS that isn't necessarily for ecommerce? Because all of that said, sometimes using a CMS is better than cobbling together a website, depending on the situation.

As I am working with WordPress for the really first time I am making horrible experiences now.

My client wants a simple submenu on the sidebar if the user is logged in else he want the login form to be there. Easy peezy done with php and just good old plain html. Maybe some JavaScript to make the login process asynchronous.
But fucking bitch - NO. As I found out after searching and digging. I have to create a menu in wp-admin first. Then add a menu-widget to the sidebar. And then install a plug-in to make the links only visible for logged in user. Wtf?

WordPress takes all the joy in doing web development for me. I won't do that anymore. I will force all new clients to use proper tools to make their shit work for them. And as I am the expert in this things I am the one who suggests the right tool.

Fuck this shit.

Saturday night coding to make a deadline for a Wordpress website that needs to launch on monday...

I hate Wordpress!!!! Did I ever mention it?

Ok, now back to work!

Oh for fucks sake, I only agreed to fix one fucking problem in your shit hole of a wordpress hell, not everything your sorry excuse of a "wordpress expert" fucked up.

We need time travel asap!

!rant

How do I convince my non-technical boss to let me write every new site we get in Django rather than WordPress?

I want to move away from the rotting mass of Frankenstein code that is WordPress.

Am I the only one who does not like wordpress, but who uses it anyway?..

Giving WordPress support is like drowning kittens.

That moment when a senior dev says "let's use Wordpress AND Laravel for 1 website".

I hate people that freelance and say they will build someone a website for like $500+ and all they did was grab a free, pirated or purchased for $20 on themeforest theme and throw it up on a wordpress site. its criminal how much they rip people off and insulting they call themselves web developers. tempting to hack their WordPress but I would feel even worse for their customers.

Called to maintain a WordPress site. Site has 100 plugins, two to disable right click. Somebody kill me already 😂😂😂

WordPress core itself isn’t the problem. It’s the horribly substandard plugins the client insist on that introduces all the problems.

FUCK WORDPRESS
FUCK WORDPRESS
FUCK WORDPRESS
FUCK WORDPRESS
FUCK WORDPRESS

Who the fuck thought "Oh lets put all caches in the options table". This is so incredible dumb. The options table has nearly 8GB and is just unusable. The query for the "real options" takes about 3s. To export this fucking shit I had to block the prod server for 20 minutes to get a db dump. I want to womit in the mouth of the fucking idiot who did this.

Everything wrong with PHP, Wordpress, MySQL and Stackoverflow in a single screenshot.

If your wordpress "tutorial" includes the words "just install {plugin->name}" then pack up your things and go home. We do a lot of wordpress development at work (don't throw things! it pays the bills!) and like any good dev I do a lot of googling. But every time I find one of these...things (I won't dignify them by calling them tutorials again) I want to stick a pencil in my eye!

My gods, fuck WordPress in the backend!
Why did my company decide on writing a data collection api with many dynamic pages on top of WordPress. It's a blog, not a wonder tool you dumbwits.
Never have I had more fuck this moments per hour..

When your friend is making some money posting links for download movies in his wordpress site and you got nothing knowing html, javascript, css, less, php, asp.net, java, python, ruby, node.js, angular, react.js...

Free WordPress Themes

fuck wordpress... Got a request to improve wordpress site speed + pagespeed score. 20-30 plugins, 15 or more additional ones off. Improved the score and noticed that my adblocker is blocking a lot of urls. Sure enough theres a hidden iframe in the bottom with 10 ad network scripts and bidding get requests. Someone is making ad revenue from this shit.. wtf. I've only had problems with shitty wordpress sites being hacked for some reason. It's always a shitty experience. Any tips on fixing hacked wordpress sites?

Damn you hackers!

This is why it pays to hide your login page with WordPress, luckily not been hacked yet.

They are persistent if nothing else them Bots. 😱

Wordpress updates > breaks jQuery dependencies
Requests theme update > theme update upgrades database without asking
Database upgrade breaks child theme > spending 30 mins rebuilding the filestructure and database from a backup

I don't like WordPress. But my boss want me to do WordPress website...

FUCK YOU WORDPRESS wtffff with that shit , i can't use multisite if running in 8081 port ?, fuck you! your """ cli """, your media folder with that month and year stupid subfolders, your plugins and your fucking unit test running on a complete WP instance. GO FUCK YOURSELF! stop with that shit and remake all that shit.

New to programming but I want to create my portfolio, any tips? Where should I host it? WordPress is good for this or better write whole code?

:/ rant
Lately more and more clients had been asking me to build their sites in Wordpress, wish follows by me asking them why. Their most common answer: - "Everybody is using it, because is easier to use and secure."

Me: (Silence)...

When your plugins list in your newly "coded" WordPress site could use an infinity loader, that means you are probably​ one of those fucking two weeks fucking coding bootcamps miracles. Fuck, that's not how the website is done...

So this system would cost you this much...

Client: seriously?? You can make this whole system in WordPress within 2 hours...

I just found out that the company that i've just started contracting at has the entire of wordpress inside of a repo for quite a few of their sites.

Fuck me now.

When your director wants a single flat static webpage(a simple advertisement with a form), but forces you to create it within Wordpress

....talk about clunky

Finding documentation on WordPress Plugins for one specific thing is like trying to find a microscopic tick in a foreign asshole...

Q: can you do this awsome project?
A: of course, i would love to develop this shit.
Q: ok, then lets get started. btw please do this in wordpress.
A: bye

Alright sit down boys this is gonna be a good tale (also a long one).

I'm currently developing a wordpress site for a Client. Everythings works well enough, I had a few "wtf is this shit" moments. Now we decided to give him access to the wp site so that he can see and change (I know, I know don't judge me pls), so I set up tunneling with ngrok, but that PIECE OF SHIT WP DIDN'T WORK ANYMORE. You asking why? Oh I'm telling you why, wp uses ONLY absolute paths. Well fuck, I ain't gonna touch that piece of shit php code, so I installed a plugin and shit was working.
In short, after a few fucking HOURS that shit finally worked. Well that would be a great fucking end for our little tale right? Yeeeeaaah no, I shit you not, it gets even better!

After a few days my client gets back at me that he can't enter fucking wp-admin to work on the text an stuff (again pls don't judge me for granting him access to the backend of wp during development). So I checked it out and that piece of shit didn't work. If anyone would happen to know why, I would be grateful bc for the love of spagetti monster I HAVE NO FUCKING CLUE!
So I said to myself well fuck this shit and put it on a webhoster. Uploaded all the files, and migrated the db. Sounds like it finally worked right? Well guess again buddy. So I needed to go to the database, updated values manually for wp to have the correct url and then still needed to force it to refresh every fucking link.

As it finally works now, this tale is also finished then and I really hope that part 2 is never ever comming!
Sorry for the (somewhat) long rant but this is some next generation bullshit.

In my recent project which passed on to us from other. Its a magento parallel wordpress system. Inside a magento helper file they loaded wordpress wp-load.php. Inside wordpress they loaded magento. I have seen recursive functions; this is the first time i see recursive cms.

Okey, so the recruiters are getting smarter, I just clicked how well do you know WordPress quiz (I know it's from a recruiter, already entered a php quiz An might win a drone)

So the question is how to solve this issue:

Fatal error: Allowed memory size of 33554432 bytes exhausted (tried to allocate 2348617 bytes) in /home4/xxx/public_html/wp-includes/plugin.php on line xxx

A set memory limit to 256
B set memory limit to Max
C set memory limit to 256 in htaccess
D restart server

These all seem like bad answers to me.

I vote E don't use the plug-in, or the answer that trumps the rest, F don't use WordPress

Seeing the phrases and language and different APIs and platforms and various versions of everything everybody talks about makes me feel even less prepared to enter the industry properly when I leave University.

I'm going being a WordPress specialist.

Art. Science. Wordpress?

Hotel? Trivago.

So hating WordPress why does it suck so much?

I just don't get the WordPress hate or CMS hate in general. Using these is not perfect, but neither is _anyone's_ code. Get over that and be more productive for your client. Unless you're the best coder the world has ever seen, and you're _always_ available to push content for an organization of 90 or 900 or 9,000 people, nobody CARES about your "coding purity". They want a website that they can still operate if your ass gets hit by a bus. Don't like WP? Find a CMS that ticks most of the boxes for your client's needs. If you have the time, budget, and long-term inclination to provide bug fixes for it, write your own Awesomesauce Custom CMS(TM) and release it to the open source community so we can finally replace WordPress with the next best thing.

Otherwise, launch site, get check. Repeat until you can retire.

When someone with a Wordpress site asks, what is SEO? 😒🙄

I wish I could penetrate WordPress with a 50 inch pen... Yeah with a pen now all I want is that awesome sticker from Dev rant. Do they ship them internationally?

My employer found out that I used to do WordPress development. Now I have to setup and maintain the company blog, including custom theme and plugin development. And I don't get paid extra to do this shit.

On the plus side, it might give me better visibility within the office as the blog would be written by VP, directors and other senior folks. I'll have more interaction with them.

I'm curious to see how this goes.

CLIENT: My wordpress site runs really slowly, can you fix it?
Me: Yeah sure, let me have a look.
*logs in and sees Facebook feeds, twitter feeds, 3 seo plugins, 5 backup generators, 4 slider plugins, jscomposer, social sharing buttons and loads more*
Me: Do you realise that you don't need that many plugins?
Client : well they make my site really fancy and my customers love it.
Me: yafud

I just hate wordpress. Whenever I have to touch it, makes me nervous.

This time I just have to put some html/css. I was thinking it's piece of cake.
Couldn't be more wrong. This fucker is adding extra tags to my code fucking up what made...

I hate when coder use WordPress eben if web-development is not their mainstream for their blogs . I would rather anytime learn the whole website building stuff rather than using WordPress

Wordpress.....

God, why..

Okay, so my company has deep roots with wordpress websites, which is, well fine, and at some point they needed portal that would do something but I was bussy doing other project for our child company, so our frontend slapped together "portal" in wordpress. So I dont even know if I understand that properly whats going on, but today buddy came with help request to wordpress.

I had to look through wordpress database and was like.... FML hard.

Okay, fuck it, let's try to make it work. So, I needed to get random category (using get_terms), check it's ->count and if its greater than X show it on page. I came to done halfway, the random part wasn't working.

Okay, made it work after initial struggle with "WHAT THE FUCK IS THAT?! AND THAT?? AND THAT?!?!??! ;-;" and now comes the kicker. It has ACF installed and it has additional category in ACF. And it should check count of posts within the category that have certain ACF value.

After awhile I just said "this shouldn't be done on wordpress, no idea how to make it work".

What I seen is like... it hurts me on so many levels... My head wants to explode...

Can I get back to writing normal code now? ;-; Im fed up patching logic in frontend (I dont even know if that's `the wordpress way` but that's what they did)

Damn you Wordpress!

My buddy needs website, I helped him to setup localhost, and told him I can work on backend if he wants, he is my good friend so I could even do it for free if he shares some income later down the line but he would need frontend anyway, so someone would need to do it. Some consideration later it turns out that there is noone to do the FE, so that is trashed and instead Im solving wordpress problems for him whenever he has them..

God... I forgotten why I hate wordpress... Every single time I helped him I felt like Im doing workaround to workaround and it somewhat works like its supposed to...

Edit: fixed wording

We went to a restaurant with my family. I decided to check the restaurant's website:
koma-zalakaros.hu
This is a default WordPress website! A template!

Google, WordPress and PHP haters gonna be so pissed 😆

Algo strikes again. Avoid doing WordPress themes, plugins or any other WrongPress stuff.

When a client absolutely insists on me using Wordpress for a stupidly bespoke and complicated system that "they will be ultimately selling commercially and just needs to work".

I have a programming tutorials website I built from scratch in the PHP framework Laravel 5.4. Recently my friends have been pushing me to use WordPress instead.
I haven't worked with WordPress yet but I just hate it. I always think that it will not give me the flexibility I might need when adding new features.
This has put me in great doubt and anxiety about what I'm doing.
Is wordpress a better choice? I'm I just being lazy about the WordPress stuff?
I'll appreciate any advice on this.

why is everybody posting about wordpress & php?
fuck my life
fuck php
fuck $300 freelance wordpress websites

When you hate ur job so bad and secretly apply to a new one, do two interviews, then reduce 400$ from what u said ur expected salary was because youd rather die then use wordpress one more time.

I am afraid to ask this, but i have to...
Why is wordpress so hated by you guys? Tell us your story plase.

I just stared as a trainee at a webdev firm.. I'm starting a company with my friends parallel to this. I never thought my life would be waking up and doing 13 hours of WordPress.. Today a customer asked me to speed up her website, it had 30 plugins all of which she uses..moving the cache erased the plugin-generated index page, it was nowhere to be found even after pulling backup..

Now I've been home for four hours.. trying to work around a "responsive theme" a customer picked.. It should be called Worsedepress

BPOS client sub contracts a website and wants a WordPress one. Creates a design based on a theme.
This particular theme has a demo page.
And when running it through pagespeed insights returns a score Of 29.
Pingdom score of grade D.

Halfway through "development" we get a complaint from BPOS that the site is returning a score of 49 and a Pingdom score of grade B.

Considering how bad the theme is and how optimized we got. I believe that this was a miracle.
The things we do to make a living.

Dear metaphor-diary!
Being a "WordPress-Developer" is like calling yourself a toy manufacturer while selling "individually glued" lego models.

Used to love Wordpress, now I fucking hate that shit.

So I just spent 3 days trying to write a custom WordPress query with WP_Query and limit the result set with tax_query. I wrote my own code, copied and pasted code from the docs and watched a couple of tutorials, no matter what I did my results just weren't right. Turns out I was calling my code too early so my tax_query was being ignored.

Time wasted or lesson learnt?
.... I'll take lesson learnt. Oh well.

Wordpress

> be me
> watching FRIENDS
> lurking internet
> get a message from the manager, "we need to deliver WordPress + woocommerce + cost calculator theme to the client".
> "but I'm, not a WordPress developer"
> ??
> "okay, I'll just find a theme for it on ThemeForest"
> *sends theme as per description*
> *reverts back with HTML5 template* "see if we can use this"
> to be honest, that template was not even close as per requirement.
> *sends another themes back and forth*
> ???
tl;dr : she finalized the theme I intially sent after half of the day

shall i just kill my self slowly with fire?

WORDPRESS PLUGINS/THEMES SHOULD HAVE THEIR OWN FUCKING STANDARD.
Duh

Having debate between React vs WordPress for a website. Any thoughts?

Fuck, is it worth learning PHP and WordPress to actually get freelance jobs? Everything I find is in fucking WordPress and I just need to make some fucking money

Why do people hate wordpress so much? It honestly fucks me off the amount of hate it gets and I honestly get a little triggered when people give me the "aww people who use Wordpress aren't real web devs" comment? Like fuck off i use Wordpress to make using a site more easy for my clients you daft cunt. 😩

Ugh I hate jQuery. It's so bloated, and I can do everything I need without it. But I can't get rid of it cause WordPress absolutely needs it.

At least I can pretend it doesn't exist on my personal projects.

Have to change out the audio player on a WordPress site for a podcast. Can't follow the code properly because wp forgets that standards are a thing. Code readability is shit as well. Fucking WordPress.

Admit, I am. Going to have to hate wordpress less, it's still a steaming pile if shit, but that massively global piece of shit forced facebook to relicence.

Mythbusters proof has been reproved, you can Polish shit.

Almost everyone is using WordPress, and here I am, looking at the beautifull Ghost, not understanding others.

Just used chmod -R 777 * because WordPress just fucks up everything. I designed a complete new site with MaterializeCSS but customer did not want any changes...

Client: Can't you make the autoload column in wp_options 1/0 so it loads quicker?

Me: So you want me to redevelop WordPress? Or build you a custom platform?

Wordpress :(

This is some production code of a completely butchered Wordpress site I have been forced to work on (the previous developer managed to break the site so the archives section failed to work).

Words literally fail me.

Why TeamViewer why? Clean your wordpress installation

Only one day to convert my website design to wordpress template. Have no idea how to make animated submenus. Have never worked with wordpress. Fuck everything!

Another wordpress website, and I will quit my job. I'd rather be homeless and hold a card saying "will write actual code for food" than working on that godforsaken platform.