I've been so pissed off so many times, I thought I should divide them into categories.
- Pissed off at a fellow dev: I told him to use a constant instead of a hardcoded number.
He changed this: obj.method(3);
to this:
public static final int three = 3;
obj.method(three);
- Pissed off at management: I once got a $10 yearly raise.
- Pissed off at a client: They rejected our design proposal because the text was in spanish and they didn't speak spanish. It was lorem ipsum text.
- Pissed off at code: I once had to refactor a 500 line legacy jsp script with HTML, CSS, JS and Java completely intertwined.
- Pissed off at Twitter: They changed their API the day of our go-live, breaking all of their widgets, forcing us to move the go-live date and making me work an additional 8 hours after a week with almost no breaks.
- Pissed off at travel and logistics: They sent me to a hotel in Mexico City 2.5 hours away from the client's office.

Fun times...

When we went live with a site with millions of daily hits. It was the first project I lead and took 8 months of very hard work to finish.
Bonus: I felt even more badass when it didn't crash :p

I can afford food because of it.

After 14-16 hours of coding your brain stops working.

It's never a "5 minute fix".

The plwer to fucking concentrate for more than 15 minutes at a time... I'd be a god...

I would go back to being a mountain guide for sure. Mountaineering is my passion... But being a dev pays WAY more and it's alright.

I'm starting a side project. This time I'm totally gonna finish it. For real. 14th time's the charm, right?

I can't post a rant about wk50 because I know some coworkers use this app and I'm afraid they'll realize how stupid I really am.

Your code broke Production.

Huge scope; tight deadline.

How did I learn to program?
It's the funniest story actually.
I studied Computer Engineering where I took programming courses.

It's not a demo if you didn't get everything working 5 minutes before it starts.

Don't work late/during the weekend because someone else committed to an impossible deadline. Trust me. It's not worth it.

int three = 3;
// several lines after
something.setMaxValue(three);

Oh, Junior... not again...
I just hope that the max value never changes to 4.

It has to be working from home without any schedule and being paid ridicously more than your country's average salary, doing something you enjoy. Oh, and I don't even need a degree. :)

Dude! I have this amazing idea for a website! It's like a social network but for videos!
- uh like youtube?
No! Totally different because in this social network you could share the videos with your friends.
- so... like youtube
No man! Cause you could also rate and comment the videos!
- like youtube?
No! You're just not getting it man!
-...

Promise.resolve() in js. You have a string but need a promise? Just do a Promise.resolve(str) and boom! You can 'then' the shit out of your string...

When I started studying CS, my dad was very upset. He told me he couldn't undersand why was I studying that if the only thing I could do afterwards was to open a computer repair shop and charge people to install antivirus and word. He's not saying shit now when I earn more than he has ever had and lend him money knowing he cannot repay me.

/*
* Name
*/
private static final String NAME = "name";

No shit Sherlock...

When job requirements say:
Programming Languages:
CSS
Scrum
Git
jQuery
JSON
...who tf writes these requirements!?

The sales team sold a project using our 'innovative framework', which had 'prebuilt components', which we 'only needed to plug n play' with a 10 week deadline. Of course, the framework didn't exist. Guess who was the lucky guy who had to create the framework AND finish the project in 10 weeks? fml...

A couple of years ago the PM for the project I was working on committed to a 3 week deadline on a HUGE ASS project. The client was a massive telecommunications company and the project consisted on the websites for over 30 countries. When I confronted him, he told me he needed PROOF that the project wasn't going to be done in 3 weeks (WTF!?)...
He made the design, front end and back end teams start working in parallel (WTF!?)... Needless to say, the project wasn't done in 3 weeks, or in 10, or in 50... this was in 2014... the project hasn't been finished yet. Thankfully, I managed to get off that ship after 2 hellish months.

A client complained about the visual designs containing 'lorem ipsum' text because they 'didn't understand spanish'. And that they wanted their site in english...