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Search - "project management"
An entirely typical exchange at work:
PM: How long would it take to build an application that collates Gubblefluffs and exports them as a PDF?
ME: Hard to say. What’s a Gubblefluff?
PM: Nothing complex. Its basically an object with some stuff in.
ME: Erm, okay. So I’ll define a Gubblefluff object plus methods to add edit and delete, then for each Gubblefluff have it write a line to a PDF.
PM: It will need to email that PDF to somebody.
ME: Okay, cool. “Gubblefluffs-by-email” should take about a day.
6 hours later…
ME: I’ve done Gubblefluffs-to-pdf, I’m not clear on what’s in a Gubblefluff but I’ve made it flexible so it can take almost anything.
PM: No, a Gubblefluff can ONLY be one of 4 Snigglefingers plus a timestamp and some JSON.
ME: What? Right. Okay. What’s a Snigglefinger?
PM: (sighs) A Snigglefinger is the collection of relevant Babelsets.
PM: Yeah, a user can have any number of Babelsets but they must correspond to one of the four types of Snigglefingers.
ME: There are users!?
PM: Of course!
ME: But I’ve not coded anything for users.
PM: Shit. I’ve told the client they can have it today. How long to add in users?
ME: And Babelsets, and Snigglefingers and the new Gubblefluff rules?
6 days later…
ME: This is done now. It’s a beast but it works. Who should it email the PDFs to?
PM: Client X, plus cc to Y and bcc to Z.
ME: What? It doesn't support CC and BCC!
1 hour later…
ME: This is done. I’ve tested it and sent you a copy of the PDF it generates.
PM: Okay thanks. Is the cron running daily?
ME: What cron?
ME: Okay, so the cron’s running once a day at 8pm.
PM: Oh, it’ll need to be at 3:15pm. That’s when we’ve told the client they’ll get it.
ME: Right. I’ll change it...
PM: Also, the PDF you sent me looks nothing like the visual.
ME: What visual?
Never let customers define the priority levels. It will end in:
- Normal (never used)
- High (used for small text changes)
- OMG fix now
- the World is ending if this doesn't get fixed now
- different existential plane of priority
- Priority ∞ + 118
Who Is Who
➡ A Project Manager is the one who thinks 9 women🙍 can deliver a baby in 1 month.👶
➡ An Onsite Coordinator is the one who thinks 1 woman can deliver 9 babies in 1 month.👶
➡ A Developer is the one who thinks it will take 18 months to deliver 1 baby.🙇
➡ A Marketing Manager is the one who thinks he can deliver a baby even if no man and women are available.👷
➡ A Client is the one who doesn’t know why he wants a baby.👶
➡ A Tester is the one who always tells his wife that this is not the right baby. 🚶
Don't be shy.. Comment which 'who' are you..😂18
Project manager: I thought you said you made sure it was live today! I'm going to have to explain that you're the main issue with why it isn't live to management!
Me: have you cleared your cache?.... (long silence)
I swear it's the new "have you tried turning it off and then on again".2
I know there are tons of Project Management stuff around, but I'm proud to develop one customized for my personal use.
(Also, it's free 😄)38
Last Sunday the boss says:
About this project we are working on, the client stopped paying, so we are not touching it untill we hear back from him.
Spent the whole week learning new technologies, and having a good time.
Guess what happens this morning...
Listen, about that project, they paid and it needs to be delivered by tomorrow morning! shouldn't be a problem, right?
Project manager logic, explained with babies.
9 women can have 9 babies in 9 month. We only need one baby.
Deadline is one month!10
Boss: "Why weren't you in the project meeting? You were supposed to present!"
Me: "I'm not on that project, Bob was before he quit."
Boss: "Yeah, but I assumed you'd take it over. We need you to be working on it."
Me: "What? I don't know anything about it, nothing."
Boss: "Yeah, but you guys went to lunch together, what else would you have talked about?"10
Me (Lead Developer), Boss (Head of IT), CEO
> enter stage left CEO
CEO > "Alright Boss, give it to me straight. Are we going to be able to release app x by this date?"
Boss > "Yup we'll have a beta release on that date"
> exit stage right CEO
Me > types long email to Boss outlining exactly why we won't be able to release app x anywhere near that date, beta or otherwise, because:
1. We have a development team of 2
2. I've never developed an iOS app before
3. Developer 2 is still trying to understand git, because
3a. Developer 2 isn't even a developer (but he's doing iOS front-end so w/e)
4. We don't have the required database systems in place
5. Or CRM
6. Or CPQ
7. We'll need to conduct a security audit
Boss > "yeah, but CEO is gonna need to hear that date a few more times before he can fully understand"
Me > *internally screaming BUT YOU HAVEN'T TOLD HIM THAT AT ALL*
"ok cool just glad we're on the same page on that one"5
Heard a fun quote from a project manager today:
"Naaah we don't need tests, that project is so small it wouldn't be worth it"
Seconds later: "Why does this keep breaking all the time and we only notice it once deployed?"8
In the project management system we use with our clients I see file named, 'instructions for backup.'
I open the file and all it contains is my name and phone number.😑4
Our project Right now 😂
Original deadline for project was April, we're in August and we're still in Shadow :p2
Worst experience: had a verbal fight with pm because his poor management overworked me ( I was working on the same project till 10pm every day for 4 days with no OT pay)
Best experience: I stepped up against an abusive pm and told him to fuck off to his face.12
My morning (RO = remote office):
Me: Your xxx implementation is very strange.
RO: Yes we are following a new example from experts in this field. See this link.
Me: Paragraph 1, use xxx class in these situations. Were not doing that.
RO: Yes we had problems with that, we decided to skip that.
Me: Paragraph 2, always use xxx when accessing data. Were not doing that.
RO: Yes that create many bugs, we skipped that.
Me: This section on debugging says to enable this flag while in development to allow the IDE to alert you to issues.
RO: Yes this causes the app to crash constantly. So we took it out.
Me: ... because its finding issues ... and telling you where the problem is, with an error message.
... your not following the experts at all.
RO: We are!, please read the link we provided.
... this will be discussed on my exit interview6
Started working at a large company with promises of a great framework, stable environment and bleeding edge tools, decentralised working environment, only to find visual studio 2010, no git, no project management tooling whatsoever, all documentation stored on svn, no slack or other modern communications platform, still using uploaded word documents as documentation for projects and meetings, so yeah I can truly say :/11
Boss: here is a mac project, we have not enough time.
Me: what? I didn't not work with Mac and related languages ever!
Boss: yeah, but you are senior developer, this is not supposed to be that difficult to you..
Me: *moment of silence* just tell me who taught you it and project management. because you are the stupidest shitty boss that a developer could have5
Dev: we have two days until go live. We got 20 bugs, 5 stories and two people on holiday.
PM: ok so could we get these 3 stories squeezed in as well?2
When you are talking with Client and he wants alert that you can't use password because it's already in use...5
Q: WHO THE FUCK USES EXCEL FOR PROJECT MANAGEMENT?
A: My Product Manager
Excel because she cant wrap her head around using Trello. WHAT THE FUCK!
Some people exist just to make things more difficult for everyone else. Fucking pain in the ass.
This person is one of the most incompetent one I have ever met.
I dont have enough words to express my rage right now.13
If your manager asks for a "rough time estimate" for a project, there is a higher than 99% chance that your answer will be written down and be used in presentations of project roadmap to upper management and/or marketing, who will create a hard deadline based on your rough estimate and communicate this to customers/clients, and then blame you for not keeping the deadline when it turns out (as it always does) that the rough estimate was off by several months because feature creep caused by upper management.4
Mate: I think we should use firebase for our project.
Me: why?, I don't think our project require firebase
Mate: I think there should be some use of firebase in our project.
Me: *madly Explains complete project architecture why we don't need real-time database*
Mate: *not accepting* there should be use of firebase, I'll think and tell you
Me: *Flips table* 😡6
Feeling like I've gone back in time about 15 years!
Just told my CTO about various improvements we could make to the development process. Things like git, continuous delivery, agile project management apps such as Jira, task management such as Gulp, etc.
His response - "never heard of them. I bet they'll pass in a few months. Just another round of fads".8
Project coordinator blames our team because client said we failed to "align" with other teams.
What the actual fuck.2
A woman can make 4 babies with 4 different fathers in 9 months, right?
Someone decided we need a "rubber band programmer" who bounces around from project to project as needed, and that gets to be me.
So I work on 4 projects, with 3 programming languages, 4 frameworks, and with users in 4 complicated industries, none of which I have experience with.
And my boss wonders why I'm not as productive as everyone who has worked on 1 project for 5 years.9
Juste design a new algorithm to evaluate the chance of a project (any kind of project) will exceed the budget (time of cost). This algorithm been proven to be right almost all the time.1
PO: Here's a small cool feature I thought of, should be easy enough *shows very basic draft spec*
PO: I'll get back to you
*never hears about feature again*6
Programming is a lot like playing video games. It challenges you to beat quests/tasks and hunt enemy bugs while providing boss levels in the form of large projects with tight deadlines and project managers who like to move the goal posts.4
I just lost faith in the entire management team of the company I'm working for.
Context: A mid sized company with
- a software engineering departmant consisting of several teams working on a variety of products and projects.
- a project management department with a bunch of project managers that mostly don't know shit about software development or technical details of the products created by engineering.
Project management is unhappy about the fact that software engineering practically never sticks to the plan regarding cost, time and function that was made at the very beginning of the project. Oh really? Since when does waterfall project management work well? As such they worked out a great idea how to improve the situation: They're going to implement *Shopfloor Management*!
Ever heared about Shopfloor Management? Probably not, because it is meant for improving repetitive workflows like assembly line work. In a nutshell it works by collecting key figures, detecting deviation in these numbers and performing targeted optimization of identified problem areas. Of course, there is more to Shopfloor Management, but that refers largely to the way the process just described is to be carried out (using visualisation boards, treating the employee well, let them solve the actual problem instead of management, and so on...). In any case, this process is not useful for highly complex and hard-to-predict workflows like software development.
That's like trying to improve a book author's output by measuring lines of text per day and fixing deviations in observed numbers with a wrench.
Why the hell don't they simply implement something proven like Scrum? Probably because they're affraid of losing control, affraid of self managed employees, affraid of the day everybody realizes that certain management layers are useless overhead that don't help in generating value but only bloat.
Fun times ahead!8
Alright I get the importance of project planning but having a Sprint meeting at 7am is just insane.1
Have you ever been so alone on a project that even if everything seems easy, you don't want to work on it because nobody cares about it?1
You need to answer your manager, but don't have a clue, try these randomly:
I'll circle back to you
I will run the numbers on it
Let's go back to the drawing board
Let's touch base in a bit. Ping me
I don't have the bandwidth right now
It's on my radar
Let's put this on the back-burner
I have too many balls in the air right now
I have a lot on my plate
I'll get back by close of play tomorrow
I'll have to deep dive/drill down into this and get back
I have a hard stop at X hours
Let's park that for now
It's in the pipeline3
I'm currently reading a course in Project Management and I have yet to find an image in the course literature with a person that doesn't suffers from a headache.1
I think I want to quit my first applicantion developer job 6 months in because of just how bad the code and deployment and.. Just everything, is.
I'm a C#/.net developer. Currently I'm working on some asp.net and sql stuff for this company.
We have no code standards. Our project manager is somewhere between useless and determinental. Our clients are unreasonable (its the government, so im a bit stifled on what I can say.) and expect absurd things from us. We have 0 automated tests and before I arrived all our infrastructure wasn't correct to our documentation... And we barely had any documentation to begin with.
The code is another horror story. It's out sourced C# asp.net, js and SQL code.. And to very bad programmers in India, no offense to the good ones, I know you exist. Its all spagheti. And half of it isn't spelled correctly.
It's... God awful. The result of a billion and one quick fixes that nobody documented. The configuration alone has to have the same value put multiple times. And now our senior developer is getting the outsourced department to work on moving every SINGLE NORMAL STRING INTO THE DATABASE. That's right. Rather then putting them into some local resource file or anything sane, our website will now be drawing every single standard string from the database. Our SENIOR DEVELOPER thinks this is a good idea. I don't need to go into detail about how slow this is. Want to do it on boot? Fine. But they do it every time the page loads. It's absurd.
Our sql database design is an absolute atrocity. You have to join several tables together just to get anything done. Half of our SP's are failing all the time because nobody really understands the design. Its gloriously awful its like.. The epitome of failed database designs.
But rather then taking a step back and dealing with all the issues, we keep adding new features and other ones get left in the dust. Hell, we don't even have complete browser support yet. There were things on the website that were still running SILVERLIGHT. In 2019. I don't even know how to feel about it.
I brought up our insane technical debt to our PM who told me that we don't have time to worry about things like technical debt. They also wouldn't spend the time to teach me anything, saying they would rather outsource everything then take the time to teach me. So i did. I learned a huge chunk of it myself.
But calling this a developer job was a sick, twisted joke. All our lives revolve around bugnet. Our work is our BN's. So every issue the client emails about becomes BN's. I haven't developed anything. All I've done is clean up others mess.
Except for the one time they did have me develop something. And I did it right and took my time. And then they told me it took too long, forced me to release before it was ready, even though I had never worked on what I was doing before. And it worked. I did it.
They then told me it likely wouldn't even be used anyway. I wasn't very happy at all.
I then discovered quickly the horrors of wanting to make changes on production. In order to make changes to it, we have to... Get this
Write a huge document explaining why. Not to our management. To the customer. The customer wants us to 'request' to fix our application.
I feel like I am literally against a wall. A huge massive wall. I can't get constent from my PM to fix the shitty code they have as a result of outsourcing. I can't make changes without the customer asking why I would work on something that doesn't add something new for them. And I can't ask for any sort of help, and half of the people I have to ask help from don't even speak english very well so it makes it double hard to understand anything.
But what can I do? If I leave my job it leaves a lasting stain on my record that I am unsure if I can shake off.
... Well, thats my tl;dr rant. Im a junior, so maybe idk what the hell im talking about.16
Boss: "Sooo.... How long will it take?"
Me: "Maybe we should agree on some processes and specify your wishes for the new feature first?"
Boss: "Yeah you're right.... But what do you think? Will you get it done til $deadline?"
Why am I even trying? Who needs project management anyway?4
Last night me with my team have a discussion with my project team. Currently we have a project for our insurance client building a Learning Management System. The project condition already messed up since the first day i join a meeting. Because since its a consortium project with multiple company involved, one of company had a bad experience with another company. It happened few years back when both of company were somehow break up badly because miss communication (i heard this from one of my team).
Skip..skip... And then day to day like another stereotype IT projects when client and business analyst doing requirements gathering, the specs seems unclear and keep changing day by day even when I type this rant I'm sure it will change again.
Then something happened last night when my team leader force our business analyst to re index the use case number (imho) this is no need to be done, and i know the field conditions its so tough for all team members.
So many problems occured, actually this is a boring problem like lack of dev resource, lack of project management and all other stereotype IT projects had. Its sucks why this things is happening again.
Finally my fellow business analyst type a quite long message in our group and said that he maybe quit because its too tired and he felt that the leader only know about push push pushhhhhy fcking pussy, he never go to the client site and look what we've done and what we struggle so far.
I just don't know why, i know this guy earlier was an IT geek also, but when he leading a team he act like he never done IT project before, just know about pushing people without knowing what the context and sound to me like just rage push!
Damnit, i maybe quit also, you know we IT guy never affraid to quit anytime from the messed up condition like this. Even though we were at the bottom level in a project, but we hold the most main key for development.
Hope he (my leader) read this rant. And can realize what happened and fix this broken situation. I don't know what to say again, im in steady mode to quit anytime if something chaos happen nearly in the future.
The 5 stages of project management:
1 - the Mission:
Receive a project
2 - the Vision:
Over confidence and optimistic time estimation. Tell people how quick you can finish it.
3 - the Climax:
Adding unnecessary features. Try to be innovative. Think different. Feeling like a Rockstar.
4 - the Bargain:
Does not aware deadline is not far away. Reverse all unnecessary or impractical moomshot features. A bit stressed
5 - the Embarrassment:
Unpredicted obstacles or incidents. Late delivery or fail. Feel like a loser.1
Management: foobar resigned. We need to have a dev who can work the android app project.
Me: You have to find a dev who can work with that stack.
Management: Yes, You.
Me: Me? Why me? I'm a web dev.
Management: Starting tomorrow you will work for 2 projects.
Management: accept it or..
Me: Okay. -_-
Project Manager comments on all my on-going tickets "any updates?"
And the project manager gets awarded "most productive"
While the tickets I've been assigned can't be closed in just a day
Have a whiteboard next to your office position. Keep your To Do list there and update every day/half day.
PM can just pass and see status. Maybe ask for clarification. Never takes more than five minutes. Both me and him are pleased.4
Signed up on Trello, got everything set up there and everyone has an account.
But my dear PM, why the hell are you still sending out a screenshot of your bloody spreadsheet bug tracker and ask everyone for updates????
Fellow devRanters how do I get (force) my PM to use a project management system instead of silly tables?12
So the same guy who called Ninetails from Naruto a wolf is PM in this project with me
During scrum meeting:
PM: I read the project scope again and I realised there are scopes that we didn't get it. Each time I read the scope there's something new.
Me: *Sure, the scope is fucked with a long 8 feet dragon dildo to start with*
PM: Read the scope 5 times, cause we don't want to miss anything. If QA raises an issue regarding the modules which are in scope but you implemented it wrong then it won't be considered Change request and you have to do deliver it in time even work on weekends with no compensation.
PM: Now, go through the scope again today and we will hold a meeting after working hours (unpaid, but can be adjusted in monthly avg) and I will ask random questions.
PM: And anyone who won't be able to answer them will sit through the non-working hours and go through the scope again
Me: *YOU FUCKTARD, incompetence from your side or from business development team to create a simple understandable scope can't force us to sit through non-working hours.*
I already had an opinion about this guy from my previous rant, his improved a little in between but I guess not3
A very rudimentary bedroom project management system. Each note is a different section of the program I'm working on.
I do this at night to make extra money, so it's not exactly the best system. It works though.
Have a visual representation of progress somehow motivates me.7
Hertz the car rental company wanted a new website. They hired accenture. Accenture did allegedly a poor job. The site did not come with responsiveness, not with web components and 2 years over deadline. Hertz sues Accenture for $38+ million.
Scope creep deluxe?9
I am actually a bit angry that there is no fucking thing to rant about at my new work - no dumb clients, no dumb project managers (I am doing project management with the boss and the company is somewhat startupish) and the project is interesting as well.7
Job offer ==>
We need full stack developer for Java, c#, python, angular, flutter, ..
Data mining experience
Project and team management experience for 7+ years
Salary is 500$ per month12
I am working on a project that integrated with Microsoft Dynamics. The D365 team changes the data and API too often. I keep munging the data over and over so that it fits view models.
Yesterday I had a technical discussion with someone that the company installed to coordinate building technical solutions that get shared between projects. This is a problem across all of our Dynamics projects and is a technical one than needs coordinated approach.
The management heard that I am “doing repeated work because the data isn’t stable.” So they decided that it must be a problem with the project manager. The executive decides to use it as a reason to fire him. Which shows me that I can’t talk to even a technical person without risk of project chaos.
After the conversation but before the firing I get an offer letter from another company. I plan on taking it to get away from this crazy company. The project is going to lose their key web developer and also the project manager.
This executive seems to love firing project managers. My other project is on its third PM. My trust for the upper management is basically gone. I can’t even discuss the technical hurdles with a technical person without someone getting fired. I’m so ready to be out of this zoo.
The only downside of leaving is that I won’t have as many stories to tell on devRant.2
Fuck this day!
Like really fuck it!
I have one of the most terrible crunch-time i ever experienced.
I’v been working 12+ hours every day with an ever-changing project timeline.
It started simple, we made a timeline, it was risky even then but it was realistic, we started working immideatly, everything looked good then a few days in BOOM! Actually our project management completely forgot client B’s projects soo we need to do that too with the same fucking deadline!!! (About 10x more work in waay less time)
Then this morning i got an email from the graphics team that we need to document our design process RIGHT FUCKING NOW! Because management wants documentations, in the middle of a fucking crunch-time.
Today it almost got physical with my project manager, i told him that he is not a programmer, i dont fucking care about his shit, just fuck off and let me work because we won’t be ready based on his unrealistic bs.
I feel like completely fucked over, like we were told 2 days before deadline that the whole company and people’s jobs depends on us now because if we wont finish this clients won’t pay.
WE ARE TWO PROGRAMMERS for studio of 10-12 people!!!
Soo i’w been thinking about getting the fuck out of here ASAP, i got an offer from a pretty big international gamedev company just what i needed, i already did their test before all of this, i passed A+.
We scheduled a skype interview for today. I had completely no time to prepare or chill off, just got out of the office, got into a starbucks and i’m interviewing. No time to even check my mic or internet, the call was so shit i could not hear anything, they neither because the plaza was loud af. Meanwhile im nervous about work, about the interview, about can they hear me at all because of the noise. I fucked it up. BIG time! I was so done i could not reverse a fucking string in c++ or explain what is a signed int!!!
Needless to say they said no.
Need time to think about it or realize what happened? Nice dreams. Back to the office and continue working.
I can’t do this anymore. My girlfriend came for me and took me home at 10pm but all i could do was stare at the floor on the subway. I don’t want people to lose their jobs but i just phisically can’t do this anymore.
Meanwhile any time i talk to my project manager about being tired he says like “hshshsbsb i have 60 hours in the last 4 days i got the worst part, i would be grateful in your place..” like fuck off dude, i dont give fuck about how you feel about this. This is not okay for me, you did this to the project, your fucking job is to manage it! I have one day off before going back to this, i have completely no idea what to do now...
[ps: this is not Nemesys. They did not let me work on my own stuff because i would be a competitor, so i left.]5
PM: Did you start looking into that stress testing tool.
Me: Literally looking into it right now
PM: Ah cool. So you'd be ready tomorrow?
PM: Why not?
Me: I literally started looking at the tool. I can't promise anything.5
We use scrum in our company.
And with scrum I mean we don't have a scrum master, our senior developer is the project owner, we estimate in hours and the estimate is binding, so you are not allowed to work longer on a task than the estimate.
So yeah.. "scrum"4
Code freeze is today but what's this in my inbox an updated spec which needs me to redo everything from scratch again.
Kindly go fuck yourself.
Starting new game development project.
Coder:" ok guys, I think that this time we have to focus much more on sprints management and documentation"
Designer:"Ye, this time we should use better scrum software, like jira or youtrack"
Artist:"but Asana has the unicorns when you complete a task"4
Q: How many management consultants does it take to finish a project specification?
A: Infinite. And this is not even funny.
The most recent that comes to my mind is from one of my previous projects. Our team is already overloaded and frustrated working for this garbage client. One fine day, out of the blue, the client once again revises the list of go-live critical development objects.
Our project manager takes this issue up with the client, and then with our management when the client does not listen.
The response he gets from our management is along the lines of, "But it's just forty development objects. Why are you complaining? Just get it done."
Needless to say, the motivation levels of the entire team went on a downward spiral soon after.1
What managers fail to realize is us developers and designers work close. We talk about things, we bicker, we find related problems that we have in our workplace. We band together and we form efforts. They are few and we are many. A project managers job is to be a servant to who they manage. If you cannot be straight forward and well respected At the same tome then it is not the job for you.3
Update on ConsoleWidgets project:
Unit system is done, and much improved from the last project. Included a new class which mimics the CSS "calc()" - allowing you to mix pixel (Or, in console terms, cell) values and percentage values. The screenshot shows 100% - 10c
Color system in functional! In the screenshot you see the aforementioned widget colored devRant light purple! Not to mention retaining the original transparent color for the window background.
Next up: style class (maybe) and layout management classes (for sure!)
Just started an internship at a well put-together startup and ended up being in charge of project management as well. Having so much fun learning to be more independent and be a likeable manager. The tech stack in the tag.3
Yesterday, I and my team built a good hospital management system for Trauma centers containing two apps and two websites.So that the system should contain transparency. But unfortunately, we didn't made a place in top 3 but it was a great experience to build this project with my team.3
I told my project manager that I am unhappy with his management, as I put a weekend in keeping the deadline, but on Tuesday the other team just said they need another week, and the deadline was moved.
His answer was: "sorry, I didn't know"
It's kinda your job... To know that...?!
At least roughly.
12 years in the industry. For significant part of that time, I've juggled leadership roles, project management, customer facing role, testing, hardware debugging, marketing .......
Oh, I also code.
My designation is still a software engineer.2
It's great when you see your position being recruited for and after 2 months of scouting management still can't find someone better.
Hate me all you want I'm still the best you've got and apparently the best you're getting.
What are they going to do when I tell them I'm done after this project 😂🖕💯3
Project managers who distribute a task instruction like "add button on page x" into 20 ticket comments (each minimum 1000 chars), 1 pdf from the client, 2 unrelated tl;dr confluence pages, 3 lengthy bullshit management emails (at least 5 people in cc) and end up sending chat messages every hour...1
When company assigned me, an internship student, as only developer for a project that needs data mining on connected hives, back-end alert management, front-end difficult animation management with Microsoft technologies when I was learning C#1
Me: *working on a project for a year solo*
Management: Let's move development to consultants
Me: I don't think we'll profit from that
Management: Yes let's do it anyways
Me: *switching between project management and working on another project for 6 weeks*
Management: We're not getting enough output
Me: What did I say?
I'm so fucking tired of this project fuckery. Cred to my boss, she's great, but this time they should've just listened to me.2
Division of my 8 hour work day:
30% Answering Emails
20% Attending Meetings
40% Troubleshooting Bugs
30% Support Calls
10% Project Management
90% Software Development3
First course of "Software Engineering", it is full of project management ...
I'm so disappointed ...4
Management wants me to continue building an internal-use dashboard.
and you've guessed it, all functionality to be added will be discussed on-the-fly (so specs keep changing all the time...)...
So now I'm on a strike for this project until I get clear specs
Management: Add my email(personal) in the bcc of all the transactional mails (which includes forget password, email confirmation, payment, booking etc) we are sending in this project just to check the fucking cronjobs are working properly.7
ughh, studying about various software project management methodologies and lifecycles is so boring.
every different model looks similar, saying :
you got an idea?
- check weather its needed and if its practically / financially possible
- get investment and resources,
- design,develop, test, release
- repeat .
why name them waterfall or spiral or rad or agile or shit?
and we know how project go in reality: "fuck its 2 days to release and 5 features left? push to prod, make breaking features, leave the tests and release"7
My project manager one time called me while I was waiting in the bank. He told me that the latest changes in the project I was working on were not deployed to production and they were having a meeting to demo those changes to the client later that day.
I had my laptop with me but it wasn't charged. I asked the security guys if I could use the socket used to power up the cleaning/sweeping machines and they didn't mind.
So it was me sitting on the floor in the bank hall using a side socket to power up my laptop holding my cellphone so I can use the hotspot and get internet connection deploying yesterday's changes to a production server.
Eventually, the client didn't attend the meeting that day!4
This week is unproductive as fuck.
I work as python developer and write bots to solve captchas.
But due to lack of resources I have been moved (working on both) my assigned python tasks and node project.
Guess what, I have been updating html templates for emails for this node project.
I wish to find cactus for the management.9
"Don't go too crazy with the design, this is just quick to get it out, this is a one time deal" - management
Half a year later...
"Well if you would properly design components up front, it wouldn't be so hard to extend the code" - management
Well if there were some sort of god forsaken process in place, with assigned tasks, priorities, iterations, and conventions, maybe everything wouldn't be a last second shit show and there would actually be forward progress on a project instead of throwing shit over the wall and hoping everything lands in the correct places.3
We are forced to work on weekends because the management and the project manager loves to kiss the ass of our clients. I was even scolded by working from home.
FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK.
ITS NOT FUCKING FAIR THAT WE HAVE TO SUFFER AND SHOULDER THEIR INCOMPETENCE IN MANAGING THIS FUCKING PROJECT.
Damnit. God Damnit.5
Started using Trello to track project detail and overall whiteboard my project list. Made a list called "Top 5" and shared the board with my boss so her could keep track with me. After our first meeting using Trello, I walked out with 7 items in my top 5. Here's to hoping there visual aid will help him realize there's a problem.
Let's schedule our weekly sprint planning meeting for 10AM on Fridays. And let's chastise those who happen to be 5 minutes late (literally). It's the perfect plan, since everyone is normally expected to come to work between 10AM and 11AM. Makes. Total. Fucking. Sense.3
So now Github has their project feature and Bitbucket has integrated Trello [beta].
Any of you guys using those features?
How do you handle your ToDos/tasks?3
It was 3 months project, but it takes 9... bad management and the client changed his requirements every weekend. I quit the job after it.1
Management directed a 2-month project including 5 developers, 3 DBAs, plus Q&A to replace a SOAP service that retrieved data from a single table. End result, project lasted 9+ months, 5 spectacular failed 3:00AM deployments, and a WCF service that retrieved data from a single table. Justification? Management wanted to eliminate SOAP, because SOAP uses XML and XML is slow. Thank goodness no one opened up Fiddler to see how WCF communicates.3
PM: I need a brand new feature that we haven't had before and it has to have a framework backing it so that we can extend it to anywhere in the future. It also has to have X, Y, Z, it has to be able to tell the future, cure cancer, fly, and have a return on investment for us of 1000x. How long will that take?
Me (or any dev ever): Umm... well, that's kind of asking for the moon. The first few pieces will take as least 5 sprints. When do you need it by?
PM: Tomorrow. When can you have it?
Boss at the start of a new project: "We could hire an intern to gatter some data in an excel list... You can easily implement that in the application later - right? So can you get us a excel list to fill out? "
No... Just no...
You tell me what you wanna see and how you wanna interact with the application!
In the process we will figure out which data is necessary, I will build some tables in the database for that data and then, !!! not a second sooner !!! , I'll be able to give you an suitable excel list, which includes a complete list of columns for the necessary data in a form I can work with it.
It's not my job to know what data a application needs to make YOUR JOB easier! I'm not a magician! I just love programming stuff!3
Yes, thank you motherfucker. Please change the fucking specification again one fucking day before the deadline.
These project managers and clients are like little children who can't decide whether they want a lego set or a video game for christmas except little children don't blame santa for their own stupidity.
Guess what? I'm not santa fucking claus and can't do miracles in one day. It's on you little project manager children if we miss this deadline.1
A bad PM looks at every project in the last 6 months noticing how they are each far over their estimated time, angrily asks why each is so far over and then continues to self quote development jobs.1
Why python can't into proper dependency management?
I Node.js we use npm. Modules are downloaded per project and packaging is easy.
In Java we use maven/gradle. Never been so easy to build and download libraries and package your project.
But in Python? No, it's not easy. You have to use virtualenv first so pip/anaconda won't download globally, then you must write setyp.py in a million different ways. Packaging and distribution to clients? Good luck with that.21
Got a task named: "Final Changes", made a wünderlist named: "Final Changes v1" just because if PMs thought me something is that the words coming from their mouth and the ones in dictionary have a completely different meaning..
My university provides advanced education courses and you'll get certified if you pass them. I'm really interested but I don't have so much time, so which one should I pick?
List of courses I'm interested in:
I'm curious about your suggestions ;)10
I am working as a functional consultant in a project and I setup a source control for a project for better code management....
I wanted to review the code and realized developers have been checking in zipped source code in that....
Checked with Dev Lead and got to know that's how they have been managing code till now in other projects in SharePoint so they are following same practices here3
- have a look at the project
- brake it down into smaller stories
- estimate the time
- multipy it with 1.5
- add 1-3 days of testing
- add 15% project management
- add a 2 days buffer
= be happy with being done in 2 weeks, present it in 4
Management approve new project;
Start the project;
1 week before deadline project += 146 new features;
In dev mind: suicide || kill them all;
We are 4 students doing a project for a company during our internship. Talked to the boss yesterday: "This will be great guys! I've already spoken to the management about using this project as reference for other upcoming project!" No. Pressure. At. All.1
One last feature and I’ll be done with a project holy fuck. I’m so fucking close just one more class and it’s done and I can move on to something I like a little more.2
When you have to build a startup product using enterprise project management methodologies, and corporate practices.
You know what's the worst in doing software?
being assigned that dreadful project, that's doomed and cursed just from the start. Nobody dared to try or touch it for 7 years, because it's destined to fail. You will never get the resources to do it properly, all the constrains are just against you. Even as the requirements bars are lowered and lowered you barely make it. You keep testing that shit with QA for like 8 months past schedule. Then before release some core changes need to be done. It passes QA, but you somehow now it's just a ticking time bomb. It will just crumble and fall somewhere out there, if somebody dares to use that shit for real.
And so it goes.
Bug reports coming in.1
Getting really tired of not having requirements or specs detailed out at beginning of project.
I have to decide myself what might be use case while developing
Then 3 months later when it finally gets used I get management asking me why doesn't it do this or that? Uhhh.... You never told me to make it do anything so be happy it does something.7
- Pigs flying
- Rats singing opera
- Donald Tump not being a bigot
- Our remote office staff having a clue
... all things I have accepted that are impossible4
How do you deal with a boss that is not very intelligent, but fights you, your team, executive management and project stakeholders on critical system design decisions?
Everyone else is worn out, the project is long overdue and I'm running out of energy, myself. Do I just do what everyone else does and let him have his way and prepare myself to deal with the imminent problems ahead, or do I keep fighting for a well designed system that customers will enjoy using?11
TL;DR: When picking vendors to outsource work to, vet them really well.
Got a large redesign project that involves rebuilding a website's main navigation (accessibility reasons).
Project is too big just for our dev team to handle with our workload so we got to bring a 3rd party vendor to help us. We do this often so no big deal.
But, this time the twist was Senior Management already had retained hours with a dev shop so they want us to use them for project. Okay...
Have our scope / discovery meeting about the changes and our expected DevOps workflow.
Devs work Local and push changes to our Github, that kicks off the build and we test on Dev, then it goes to Staging for more testing & PM review. Once ready we can push to prod, or whenever needed. All is agreed, everyone was happy.
Emailed the vendors' project manager to ask for their devs Github accounts so we can add them to the project. Got no reply for 3 days.
4th day, I get back "Who sets up the Github accounts?"
fuck me. they've never used Github before but in our scope meeting 4 days ago you said Github was fine...??
Whatever, fuck it. I'll make the accounts and add them.
Added 4 devs to the repo and setup new branch. 40min later get an email that they can't setup dev environment now, the dev doesn't know how to setup our CMS locally, "not working for some reason."
So, they ask for permission to develop on our STAGING server.. "because it's already setup"... they want to actively dev on our staging where we get PM/Senior Management approvals?
We have dev, staging, production instances and you want to dev in staging, not dev?... nay nay good sir.
This is whom senior management wants us to use, already paid for via retainer no less. They are a major dev shop and they're useless...
Cant wait for today's progress checkup meeting. 😐😐
All tech department was really happy when we used Github Projects - managing a project was concise and organised. We loved it.
Then one day, product pushed us all to switch to the fuckin' conglomerate mess called Jira (fuck you Atlassian), which we still hate. So cumbersome, so much unimportant crap features, unintuitive interface, slow .... yes, fuck you Jira, again.7
So we called out our project manager and tech leader, who sent out an email last Friday to our bosses and stakeholders a project schedule - which we never knew about until we saw it in our inboxes - that showed we had already completed development and would go on to UAT testing by next week.
Except if you look at our agile board we have 3 weeks of dev tasks left and a couple more for testing and QA. Then our dev environment is shit because the deployment steps in TeamCity were not properly done by Dev Ops. And we still don't have a UAT environment created, much less tested out. And the project manager is about to go on a one-month vacation. Great!
So we replied back with all the aforementioned information (less the swearing and name-calling) and sent it out to the same recipients, including our bosses and stakeholders.
That was such a fun Friday afternoon.
It's an amazing Open Source project for a hardware based password manager. The community validates the security implementation and helps with improvements and streamlining.
My main go-to for password management now, made safer by Open Source.
11:30 in my timezone. Was supposed to wrap-up meeting for project finalization 3 hours ago. Sitting here rn, listening to a coworker in management explain the importance of equal respect for all employees in the company. The Boss has left the meeting because he has "better" things to do. FML4
So I was told to look into a new project management tool to replace our home grown one that must be free, decided on visual studio team services because we all have msdn so it's free. We just got everything migrated and we've been using it very successfully for the past few months and it's honestly made task management so much easier.
Get back from vacation and my company just spent $100k on sales force agile accelerator... 😑 I don't understand how upper management works1
So, in a school project we use BaseCamp for project management.
When discussing about using it I was about to say that I know the guy who built it - but then I remembered he was just in the devRant podcast and I actually don't know him at all!1
@lazyDev reminded me of the time my bid for a project was rejected because I'm a white man. Never mind the fact that I have built my career around data management, visualisation and modelling and the only other competing bid was from someone who had experience in mobile development and little else. I checked up on the company and the project just now, and they've posted the project up again. I've made a bid just like I did before, only this time I've tripled my price. Let's see if they change their minds.3
If you are the lead developer on a big project, and you want your developers to not hate everything about this project, for the love of God please at least have a build server (it doesn't even have to run tests) and make sure your constant screwing around with Maven doesn't break the build for everyone else.1
I will never work on something interesting within a company, it's always going to be either making a site for donuts or some recommendation system type of capitalistic bullshit.
Maybe, I could become a PM and do category theory at work instead of drinking coffee at the balcony1
YES!! 3 days till deadline and I am in a meeting discussing core descisions that have not been made yt...
Our approach is to get a loose feel for what the client wants, lift some visuals from Theme Forest then spend the next few weeks persuading the client to use our crappy server rather than their preferred AWS solution. Then once the project is behind schedule we break the work down into disparate tasks each of which gets a single line brief from the PM (such as 'create admin' or 'do css'). These then get assigned to different devs with no consideration of their skillset. The PM is available for 10 mins every day to answer queries, the rest of the time our devs are expected to work autonomously. Meanwhile we'll tell the client that we're back on schedule and arrange a demo for an impossibly short deadline. We have the mantra ”dont worry about it” which the PM uses to quash any dev's concerns up until the day before the deadline at which point we'll swap some devs on to unrelated work whilst others concentrate on getting "just the pages the client wants to see looking right" (we have a policy of making it look like it works before it actually does.) Following the demo we will announce all the missing features we had forgotten about from the initial undocumented agreement and set the project aside whilst we service another client.2
Fuck start ups with large projects with no continous integration setup on git... and very many junior devs including the CTO(Not even a googling guru).... for fucks sake we cant deliver spaghettis as iF we are coding a restauRANT... fuck this shit load of a project....4
Am I the only one who is working on a different project every day? And they're not small projects. All medium sized e-commerce sites (Magento 1&2) with tons of custom made functionality.
Soooo counter productive...
For some reason our PM's think it's the most efficient way to do it this way, even though we said numerous times it causes the opposite result. Having to switch to a different project every day and constantly picking up where you left a week ago is so frustrating...2
I am preparing for my exam in a software engineering course, where we discuss best practices for programming, testing methodologies and project management.
One of the topics is CMMI, and basically it states that organizations with mature development processes can produce exceptional software even if the teams involved are average.
Do you really think an efficient process can make up for lack of brilliance/ingenuity among the devs?13
Stayed up coding all night to make sure things worked nicely. An hour before I left work yesterday, received 5 other never spoken off tasks.
none of the communication went directly by me, I just had to hear out the nonsense, but did a complete integration half a year ago
managed to do 3,8 of those task after working out and finishing the first set. became 5am.
might be because I went mental and have synced up 2repo's with idem dito codebase to be up to date to eachother (don't ask me why this is setup this way, I don't get half of their logic, hence why it doesn't work until I silently patch stuff out)
overslept by an hour.. yay me.
inb4 being fired
(no time for a capitalisation and spellcheck on this rant either, 9.30am now, tired af)3
I joined a a new company .. the Technical team leader .. is coming from a lawyer background.. and feel threaten by new technology and insist on using old technology so he feel relevant !
The project manager has a background of business management which I understand but .....
It's been 3 days and am asking my self if I made the right choice by joining such company ...3
I was given a project to lead and develop with 2 other team members by the co-founder, I was told that I will need to deliver an initial demo within 30 days, 20 days in the project and I was told yesterday that they need a final release ready within the next 10 days !! Not just that but the co founder decided to assign one of my team members to another project!!!
I've worked today till 4am.
Guess who's working from home in the morning!6
Management: let's be agile... we can all meet and discuss a project that will take more than likely 6 - 12 months but you guys can estimate and create a road map....
Engineer: I'm not sure you understand agile3
After a long day of project management and endless emails, I would go home and dig through books and online training programs on html and css. A few weeks later I really found that enjoyed the work.
A year later I took the leap, quit my job and went back to school. Great decision.
Project management 101:
1) For a new project, pretend it is similar to a project in currently in development
2) Proudly state that everything can be copied from the older project, so the schedule of the new can be tightened
3) Calculate the new schedule based on the "just copy and paste" effort.
4) Now the new project will be finished before the older project
5) Enjoy the applause from upper management for the successful project that hasn't even begun yet.
No, this does not belong in the joke category.
That's gonna be fun...1
When you and your team invested a lot of their weekend time into the project to meet the clients unrealistic deadline and get not even a simple "thank you" from management...3
I know why group work sucked in school. It was a missed opportunity to teach project management and accountability. We’re almost always left to sort it out ourselves.
It's amazing how quickly management can suck the fun out of what should have been a pretty exciting and fun project.
Where to start...
1) them initially expecting us to do 15+ custom websites at once while also doing the Project Management work (including all client communication) for all projects, for $33k a year....
2) Having to pull teeth to get a feeble raise
3) Rude clients1
*Be project manager/most senior developer*
*Higher up tells you there is only enough money to hire recent graduates/internees, the cream of the pie, and that I can't hire fewer developers with more experience*
*Code is shit as result*
*Feels anger towards the developer that did it*
*Feels sorry because that developer is actually trying really hard and is diligent even if he is inexperienced*
*Change anger object to higher management*
I can't help but smirk when my company gets a project that requires knowledge on something I warned them about over half a year ago. This happens regularly but every time we have to get that knowledge during the project, costing the customer additional money.
When will management learn that training your employees will benefit them :(3
Actual question: Tell me which project management software you use and what you hate about it. What do you like about it, if anything?10
When one PM hands you off to another PM and neither has any idea about the project I am supposed to be working on...nor do I have access to the Trello boards, the repos, etc...
Happy Monday 🤦♂️
How the hell do I manage time as a dev and a project manager (sorry I'm new to the role of doing both and everything is hitting me all at once, any advice is appreciated)7
Trying to manage and develop five massive projects does not leave much free time and does not do much for my sanity.3
Me: We need to have a developer on our core product
*We fork our core product from a private repo for new projects
Me: But imma die 5years early from stress and anger overdose of fixing the same problems over and over again in every new project we do and still hit deadlines which didn't account for them when we could fix them once and maintain our core product
Management: everything is fine. Lalalalalala
Me: *wonder why every senior dev has left in last few years*1
Whenever you feel the need to rant about your project manager, always remember you'd wish you had one if you reported directly to the CEO.3
I started reading “The Phoenix Project” by Gene Kim. And in the first chapter itself two people from the IT department get fired, and the author is forced to takeover the CIO position. Damn, now I’m shook. Is Tech really that much under appreciated and management that much hostile ?4
Ever suggest improvements and get shot down at every turn? I was discussing automating our release process today and suggesting that instead of having to do everything manually and babysit the build, we should let Jenkins deal with releasing and the attitude was that we shouldn't even try because we'd spend more time maintaining the automation and wouldn't gain anything. Obviously I disagree, but it seems like I'm always coming up against shit like this.
Our requirements gathering is another point of contention; I think we could be way better at it if we invested more time talking to customers before a project starts but the attitude is to get straight into development and deal with that later.
I don't know why I even bother sometimes...4
"Hey Boss, the things you are asking for will take one year to develop. Replacing the complete UI with another is not an easy task for our software [due to not having MVC or any kind of code modularisation]."
"Yes, but it needs to be done until november"
"We don't even now the requirements, yet. This will force the complete team into weekend and night shifts, to even get a first working prototype done! From my team lead I expect to be defended against such things!"
"Yes, but I need to make money!"
Demoing our product at the customer's site by remoting into one of our internal environments. Their internet is slow so product looks slow.
Project manager after the demo: hey, next time, think of yourself as the tech lead, not just the software lead. Next time hop into the command prompt and do whatever you guys do, check the bandwidth or something.
Me biting my tongue: so I can tell you the customer's internet is too slow?1
Finally leaving the """innovation lab""" where I worked and was a fucking garbage.
I can now expect a correct project management and a real task list6
What would happen if a programmer and a PM had to cut down a tree...
Wouldn't be so funny if it weren't so true...
Today, for a feature that doesn't need to be released at all, we had to choose between delivering 2 months later so we could pay the technical debt, or release on time with even more technical debt, and 96% sure this will kill the project.
When you impress your peers because you have grown in a year as a programmer. Still there is a long way to go but I feel very confident I can achieve my goals. Any tips for project management and how to grow soft skills. I lack in that area.3
I dunno for you guys and I am sorry in advance but what is jira? "a proprietary issue tracking product providing bug tracking, issue tracking and project management functions" right?
so why the fuck do I need to write a fucking "Log Work" when I pee, when I poop, when I go out taking a break, when I drink coffee...2
Identifying when to start a project over because it has gotten out of hand with workarounds and memory management issues.
Best project management tool for webdev, for small/medium sized teams (5-10 people) and projects? Must include quick project setup with checklist templates.7
It's not just about code but the whole package.
Watching great programmers fail miserably at project management, research, documentation, team leading and acting professional is just embarrassing, especially when they slate those who went out to educate themselves.
🎙️ Mic drop, I'm out!2
Please assign me that Node.js project that I'll get to code from scratch and I'm stoked about.
I bonded a lot with a co-worker over the last several months as I had to mentor him in iOS and how to maintain our apps. We mostly bonded over how much we hate Objective-C and the management of the project. Now we are buying Christmas presents for eachother. Bad code brings people together
Oh, hello dear PO. You suddenly wanted a change to be done after being silent for months?
Silly, silly you. I'm not some kind of rack you drag out of the closet whenever it suits you.
I am now assigned to another project. Your project can't be completed for months, and it ain't my fault.
Okay so I need someone to tell me if this is what its like programming for a Superior at an actual job. Background information, I go to a highschool where Im learning IT fundementals, Programming, and networking.
So then my teacher is like "can you add a number showing what percent its at?" and I was like "yeah sure" so I did it, and today I showed him and he was like "Can you make it to where the percent is in the center so you can see what its at the whole time" so I obviously replied
First time coding in a team for a larger project. Any tips on how to handle this? We're six programmers and its really hard for us to work together :/
It's my first rant. I love the community :D9
Hey, first time poster :-)
Working alone on a C++ app that has to control a GUI, camera and electronics on the side... but between the test cases, switching between classes and helping colleagues on unrelated issues, I find it hard to keep track of what connects with what, what needs to be done, what IS done...
So, how do you guys and girls keep track of your projects ? Stuck with To-do lists for now ^^6
Hey I want to ask some react project suggestion that are good for interview as an experienced web developer. I don't want to build calculator :(
Mine list is
Expense Splitter App
CV Management App
ANy Thing else will be welcomed8
Irony - The new TLS certificate was finally issued after 10 days of waiting. The project management portal I need to upload it to crashed this afternoon. No ETA on recovery time yet.5
When a client wants you to build a castle and demands an unrealistic timeline then tries to rip you off thinking that software development is a child's play. you drunk mate?2
Reading through the bugs list on Trello...
- change colour and style of button to make it more prominent
- change default for select box
- add a popup to explain the UI on 1st visit
- if I don't save the entry, show alert to user on exit
- remove the map button under the map that links via auto scroll to the map above it
- remove the settings options for the items we designed but you couldn't implement due to lack of time / budget / low priority
It goes on, seriously...
WHY DO COMPANY POLITICS ALWAYS HAVE TO INTERFERE WITH OUR WORK!
CAN'T MANAGEMENT JUST AGREE ON SOMETHING AND ASK US FOR SOMETHING CONCRETE?!
Once two of my seniors had a personal problem at work that was originally a problem in a project I was assigned tasks for. When their "discussions" reached a dead end, emails became aggressive. Then, the two "seniors" kept making sure that the requests of the other are rejected.
IT WAS MY FAVORITE PROJECT 😭1
One week ago I've made a work plane to divide features development day by day, obviously procrastinating
This morning I realized the project release was today
I made an entire mobile app with a plethora of features without bugs in an afternoon.
Never worked so hard in a so limited time without problems.
How accurate is this guys ? I came across this reading comments on youtube. The moral of Star Wars rogue one ^^ and project management at its finest...3
Had our 3rd party vendor finally check their code into our github. Great.
Checking the recent commits, they only add changed .CSS files. Hmm..odd.
We use less so why did they update the compiled CSS file...? Did they forget to checkin the Less changes...?
Nope. Backend sitecore developer updated the bundled, minified CSS files and checked those in along with the fucking node_modules folder.
Didn't even know what LESS is.
The vendors PM swears the frontend developer did the changes. I don't know what's worse.
!rant: I need a little advice from fellow devs. I've come to the conclusion that development is not the right career path for me, but how to advance from here?
I've worked a little over a year as dev/scrum master and lately I've been assigned small project management tasks. I really liked the project management stuff, and I like talking to stakeholders and converting their ideas into well described requirements and development tasks.
But who will hire a junior level engineer with no formal project manager training or certifications?
What kind of jobs could I apply for?1
Here we go, the winter is happening #BecauseItsAlreadyComing
The Fcuking Stereotype of MDFK Projects Deadline was not achieve, everybody starts throwing blame words, the management had their heads burned, aaannd... This is nearly 11pm I'm enjoying my chicken Satay and I don't give a fcuking damn with this situation. #MyCodeMyAdventure
lets have a junkie dinner my fellow devRanters! 😂3
Worse than an incompetent colleague who can't help me fix technical issues is a demanding, confusing, beat around the bush, boss as a project director.
Project Manager is away and Project Director steps in to take over. Starts barking orders and when I try to actively contribute positively to get the project going, he stops at me, barks that I was asking the wrong questions or doing the wrong tasks. This isn't my first project rodeo. I have had plenty of project experience under my belt but he belittles me. I know what needs done and get the project done and over with.
I guess I know what I'll do. Avoid proactively contribute and just hang back until I get orders on what to do. Because fuck progress. Or until I hear more from my original Project Manager.1
One of my other dev colleagues believe that just because I don't want to work in a particular project and I don't like the decision of management, I'm being negative.
Where the fuck is Logic?1
What's the most inane excuse you heard for either a developer or management to not write tests?
I have endured these:
1) The project is fire and forget. It won't need tests.
2) It's a prototype. It won't go live.
3) Writing tests takes longer than without writing tests. You know how to code, don't you?
1) I didn't have the time.
2) It was such a trivial method.
3) It's not mockable.5
I am a programming student and last 1 year i have sat with my own programming project of a management system for monitoring 500+ clientes, has now been recognized for my work and has now been giving a new major programming project for a new management system for phones 😁3
Fellow Freelancers, can you recommend a platform you use to track and share project progress with your clients?
What do you typically use to keep clients updated about project status? There a Fancy SaaS solution or do you use a simple excel file??
Would like some ideas and recos!4
Hopefully get out to the public the two projects I have been working on currently. A local focused startup help website and a local focused fillable forms platform.
And hopefully get my first large scale software project kickstarted - A retail management system on a full Feedback Driven Development approach perhaps with the ability to integrate AI and ML later on.
It's been a while since i stopped programming.....
It's been so busy with all the school work/assignments/ and the most important part is that school ends at 10pm, arrive home at 11pm, prepare for tomorrow school stuff, sleep at 2am, wake up at 7am next morning, and again ends at 10pm 5 days a week...
It is exhausting, but I am getting used to this routine.
Studying my own programming skills or working on a side project? Not sure when to do it... The only way to continue studying is at breaks at school, or sleep less and study....
But it is impossible....
I have some great projects that are waiting to go out to the world, to list a few:
- cloud gaming
- cloud storage with live streaming
- complete school schedule management
- home automation framework in dotnet
- deepfakes and ai image generation algorithm (~18 months of training till now)
- game cheat engine (20GB total omfg ^^)
- and more
and I don't have time to finish it. lol
I think it will see the bright world after 3 years of high school... By then, my projects will be ancient, probably....
TIme is really short.
24 hours equally, but feels like 8 hours a day....
Should I abandon the project rn and focus on studying? (probably should)
or should i sell the project or open source it?
Also, how do you manage your time between work(study) and side projects (especially big ones)?4
am I the Only Developer that REALLY HAS BAD TIME MANAGEMENT Skills over long projects like come the fek on brain.
look below only if interested has nothing to do with rant
oh yeah and by the way got a new project out3
So as the only developer and maintainer of a CRM at work, the management finaly found a sysadmin to aid me on production side. This way i don't have to do maintenance during weekends. The new assigned sysadmin contacted me, telling me he needed the whole DEV repo & & DB so he could start improving the CRM. I blocked his request saying we need a meeting to set rules and concider if we need him as a developer. Note that management didn't inform me of his visit. After this, he sends a mail to management telling them i don't want to work with him???? I got a feeling that management wants to replace me, but i realy don't want to let go of this project. What are your thoughts on this situation? Should i stop guessing, and straight up confront them with my thoughts? Or see how things work out...
How is it to work on an open source project?
Can anybody add something and who checks if the added feature works correctly?2
Either you're too stupid to understand the beauty that I create to solve your crazy business problems, or you just don't care :/
"Its s rather simple idea with only four real relationships that need considered. So we need to know, can you do with 70 hours? This is the time we're throwing by him and its his high end price range." I reluctantly agree with many hesitant points made.
150 hours later: project has 28 tables, more than 12 pivot tables. I sit here staggered for days on how relationships even will tie together in the end as our designers (who wireframe and promise this and that based on their wireframes) had delivered feature sets that are near impossible to reach.
If I would have gotten my last feature request as a part of the (barley existent) specifications i wouldn't have needed more than one week to do it. At least no one is complaining about me being slow.
Today I was challenged by a project manager to explain to the directors why a developer on my team has not delivered the functionality that is required for go live on Monday.
Because you only asked for it two days ago! Don't try to make one of our developers your a scapegoat because you forgot to ask for something until the last minute.
Trying to create this app me and my dad talked about is the biggest project for me and lately it's been insanely stressful so what does everyone else do for stress management and app planning? I need help4
Manager: Oh, this feature freeze you where talking about was no joke?
Me: Yes, that's why we have written it into the protocol of the Last Meeting and everyone agreed...
Manager: Thats nonsense, add more Features!
I'm want to hear other Dev's opinions on this week's weekly group rant! Do you find that the "worst projects" are caused the most by:
A) Poor solution design and/or terrible-idea-to-start-with
B) Poor process and/or terrible project management
C) Working with terrible teammates/customers6
So, on Thursday I rant about the developer before me and his last project.
Just now decided the database needs to be restructured and management said just put it on hold!
I wasted two days, instead of working my actual project.
A couple of years ago the PM for the project I was working on committed to a 3 week deadline on a HUGE ASS project. The client was a massive telecommunications company and the project consisted on the websites for over 30 countries. When I confronted him, he told me he needed PROOF that the project wasn't going to be done in 3 weeks (WTF!?)...
He made the design, front end and back end teams start working in parallel (WTF!?)... Needless to say, the project wasn't done in 3 weeks, or in 10, or in 50... this was in 2014... the project hasn't been finished yet. Thankfully, I managed to get off that ship after 2 hellish months.1
When the project manager decides to change the ux of a project with out informing you and your half way through with original requirements.
You really have to decide between a full feature set of a software and deadlines. You cannot have both or in other words if you wand all features of your dreams you need infinite amount of money and time.
The funny part about this is that every student learns this in the first semester if you study anything about project management or management at all... And of course in reality pms and cXos don't even give a **** about this...
Sometimes been a software developer just made me sad 😔.3
Today I was forced to code in 4 hours what I had planned for 2 days. I have a feeling that any change to that code will take a day to implement.
R&D while I wait for management to decide on clear direction for the next project and then waiting for the designers to create it.
Coworker 1 starts project
Coworker 2 inherits same project
*repeat 3 more times*
Coworker n has no idea what this spaghetti code is and what it does since everyone has done quick fixes as per management requirements.
This is how the company where i work functions. And with all these projects going from one dev to the other i can tell you its a real shitshow and a lot if frustration 😤2
A few days ago I took some time off at short notice to help someone close to me with their medical condition.
On the same day the CEO of the company made a request that only I could've fulfilled out of 12 devs so yesterday I was reprimanded for it.
Why don't companies do something to actively increase the bus factor on projects?
my primary goals are:
Continue to learn and improve my developer skills.
Learn and be better at system analysis (through dealing with customers) and system designTo move towards a team lead position.
Learn project management
Learning about the company to find where I can make a contribution from a business perspective rather than just an IT perspective
A former coworker who is now also leaving the project that's being managed by a guy who'd make trump look like Einstein. Anyway...
Him: You know the idea of measure twice, cut once.
Him: Well we sitting with a pile of sawdust and no glue...2
Looks like I am beginning my freelance journey.
Usefull Issue Tracker / Project Management tool?
If it's foss and written in python that would be great, I would probably try to extend it with extensions later on.3
My boss yelled at me Monday for brining up that no one in the office is a fan of Jira.
He yelled and gave 4 rules.
1. Task Numbers
2. Multiple Project Overview
3. Integrates with Github
4. No one bitches
I spent the day uploading data from Jira into clubhouse2
Phase one of the project we assembled a team for rapid development. The client was enthusiastic about the progress that the team made in a short time. They specifically requested the same team for phase two of the project. Executives replaced everyone on the team except me.
I looked at the new team and basically everyone on it is less technical.1
For those of you in college or university...
I'm taking on my first project as a part of a second year. In a team of 3 people total, we have to build an application for a client of our choosing. Whilst we don't exactly know who or what we are doing, does anyone have any advice?
I have a book on scrum mastery but I would like to ask the community for advice.1
Say what you want about npm and node_modules, it is much better than other package management systems like pip.
Least I don't need to create an entirely new installation of nodejs every time I want to build something new that might depend on some packages that depends on an 0.0.1 version lower of another package that is used by a different project I currently have to also maintain.
P.s. I do love python overall and it's ecosystem, the package management and version control are sheer garbage.2
Best coworkers I had on my last project. I learnt from all of them and we were a large team but we all had a holistic view on how software should be made and the standard of quality that we should meet. It was great just a shame management above us didn't realize what they had and ruined such an incredible team.
Last night my subconscious shifts into management monologue mode imagining me and my managers in dialogues discussing all the problems that they're missing using management teens and references to the Phoenix Project, which I reminded I told them to read 4yrs ago in my first discussion after joining the team....
But basically mind was sorta on fire while half asleep?
Woke up this morning, and calm so wondering... Is this the stuff that my dreams are, except usually I don't remember anything....
We have a BA on my team who isn't technical (which isn't a problem by itself), doesn't know the product, barely understands the agile process and our project management tools, and is generally rude to most people on the project.
She spends most of the day on her phone and occasionally badgering people with inane questions that she could answer if she spent any effort at all.
I don't know who's keeping her employed or why.5
Email arrives, contains a list of deadlines AND descriptions of new features and changes to portal... all news to me, Really?! All for next month you say? Didn't we just assign a different project to the team? Did we replace the 50% who leave this week yet? no.... Well done project management... Slow clap for you guys.... It's so idiotic I'm not even mad...
The project I'm on has a hard deadline and we were told that we may need to start putting in extra hours. We already are, BTW. I've been working 12-14 hour days.
I was just "invited" to a mandatory meeting where management is going to improve our morale for an hour by cooking for us. Awesome.1
So happy, a former colleague, now friend, of mine decided to join my project, he has a lot of experience and helped me out a ton in my first professional years to gain knowledge about optimization, performance, architecture and countless more stuff.(--> wk73 best dev teacher I had)
The only downside, in this case very minor downside, is that I now have to go back to something I despise: project management... I need to properly format and transfer all my scribblings and thoughts into a roadmap and a rough specification, so he has a good start into the project.
Overall though I am really looking forward to this collab, since I love to work in a team, especially with such great support.
!Rant - web dev prompt
Currently experimenting with time management so figured I'd try setting up both Basecamp and Toggl. It's for a school project and involves a basic CMS (php CRUD etc).
Is it overkill?2
So. As some of you may remember. I got a new job. However! I didn't end up taking it. They ended up terminating my current boss and gave me his job (and salary to boot).
They then told me to begin rebuilding the department and expanding it, something my old boss was not a fan of.
What tips do you guys have for building and managing a team? I've never ran one before. So I'm looking for advice on a project management platform. We are a C# shop so If it has nice integration into VS all the better.
Thank you and rant on! I am sure I will have some ranting about hiring and junior fuckups soon!2
I have an idea for a fun little web game... A small little learning project.
So of course the first thing I do is write a CLI database change management tool.
Has anyone used Trello for project management? If yes, what are your thoughts on it? Would it be good for a small IT/Dev team?3
been working on a to do app that uses local storage for the past one week. first mistake was using vanilla everything to build, i forgave myself, now I keep adding features upon features and breaking more code and fixing.
I learnt a lot like immutability of imported js(why? for christ's sake)
I still haven't done anything presentable on the ui. cant pull out now1
Hi, my manager is leaving soon. I’ve only been here for short of 2 years and I’ve been promoted once already. It has come time to hire another dev. My director asked me to think about what I want for my career and how to hire the right person. I don’t want to become a manager if that means to stop coding and building stuff. Any advice or experiences you guys have had with this? I’m supposed to have a catchup with my director and he told me to think about it, but I only can think in terms of Problem-Solution. Not in abstract strategic career positioning or team management etc.4
When tackling a solo project, which one of these approach do you usually use (and prefer):
A) Mash up something that works ASAP while ironing out bugs and cleaning up code later on - a.k.a. "duct tape programming".
B) Have everything planned before you even start coding. Strive to get everything right from the get go. UML diagrams galore.
p.s., If none suits you, feel free to tell us about your preferred approach anyway. Those 2 are the only thing that came on the top of my head at the moment.
p.s.s., I'm all for A. Should you care about it.3
When IT/project management is like some ideology that works out on the paper but everyone is too stupid to implement it properly.
When you build a custom CMS for a client and they don't even use it... why the hell am I (the dev) entering their content?!
And for fuck's sake... at least give me the right content in the first place instead of having me redo it 3 times!4
People, have you tried the new board system on GitLab's issues?
I use Gitlab in my company (because it's awesome), but my personal projects are in GitHub. I'm thinking about moving some of them to GitLab because of this feature (I really like to organize things and really hate to use multiple services to run a project, so this new board/kanban system makes Taiga, which I am currently using to run things, kind of redundant).
About the new GitLab's feature
The downside of this is that I don't see GL as a social experience like GH.
Any avice? Thank you.
Important: I'm not a PM of some sort. Just a dev.1
I've been finding it harder and harder to balance both project management and development.
I frequently find that I don't have enough time to manage both.
Sometimes you just wish you could be two people.
I don't know if I'm terrible, or if this will sound familiar to anyone. I rushed so much of this project. That's not a good excuse for what's happening, but, speaking about it with a newly converted coder who is a good friend of mine, let him be called F:"
F: I'm so bored I'm going through my script and making a few subs for some repetitive code. I saved 90 lines today.
Me: Bored you say... debating what sort of code of mine to send you for you to ... review.
Because, the reality is, if I dont finish certain features by May, shit will hit the fan lol So I am considering asking for a boilerplate NDA and a few extra bucks from client.nickname, to bring on testers and/or UI guys and/or database guys.
But you seemed to be doing alot lately, so I was thinking, I would deal with fiverr and freelancer.com first
F: I dunno what use id be by May but I'll always look at stuff
Me: A ton. You could literally review any code in any language youre learning. Your review code be: address/models.py class Address 1. TODO for validating formatted address 2. Why is formatted address declared twice?
To which my response would be Fuck thats right and Zomg really
And if I knew about this... last week.. I'd be hours ahead of schedule and not have just forgotten why I needed to fix address
I spent last week trying to figure out estimates about how much time we'll spend in this quarter's project - like, 3 days on the schema, 4 days on the API, 5 days on the GUI etc. Why does management think that each part of the project is separate? Oh I forgot, they're management. I wonder how much work I could've done if management wasn't so obsessed in knowing metadata about the project instead of doing the project itself 🤔2
when you don't know the timeline of the project you're working on. So you don't know if you should rewrite everything to be more flexible in the future2
hi everyone quick question can people responded if your repo management tool (e.g. beanstalk, github, bitbucket, assembla) integrated with your project management tool?5
Don't you hate the subjectiveness of functional requirements and no functional requirements? I'm the only one?
Are you able to imagine working on group project without VCS and project management software like Jira?
You don't have to imagine it, just go on my university where people would most preferably use notepad and pendrives to share files.
Gotta say, that's an interesting experience.
So, I just finished a semester project on Software Project Management, and this was my self analysis and my conclusions, along with my analysis of my team. I think some of you will relate. Hope you enjoy the reading!
My main contributions to the project were helping reviewing the documents syntax, to make sure it was smooth and easy to read with a good english level, working on the systems architecture, coding the application, helping measuring problems within the project and putting people to work by distributing tasks.
I tried to help whenever I could with things that were not assigned to me, even though we are a team, everyone must do what they are assigned for, otherwise disorganization will be installed and everyone will derive from what they are doing to focus on a single thing or point and that would cost us time. I tried to avoid that to see if people could be capable enough of fixing the problems presented to them with the least help possible, making that an example for future use so they don’t always rely on others to get tasks done and to be more independent. Also, helping others figuring out what they were supposed to do helped the team wasting less human resources and consuming less time, which lead to some faster developments on specific tasks. Making the impossible possible was kinda of a weekly routine when the deadline approached because time was short and sometimes tasks were not finished when they should be, so, in a way I helped speedrunning documents to see if they were close to presentable to the client.
As the overall performance, there were highs and lows, where some members worked more than others and that is not fair for everyone because that kept happening again and again, so, my point of view performance wise is that we behaved wrongly when it came down to it. Some of us kept on pushing tasks to others and continuously criticizing over other people’s work without having a logical background to motivate those critiques neither providing solutions to the problems encountered. Well, that couldn’t end well, and it didn’t. It brought our performance down and ended up causing a lot of damage on the project itself.
How do you manage your projects as solo developers, I find myself most of the time procrastinating. If you could share with me some insights about your routines I would be grateful and how you manage time in general?11
Trello, one of my latest discoveries and it's quickly becoming one of my most important tool for project management
Has anybody experience with Scrum in small web development agencies? Especially estimating stories with story points instead of hours/days?
We have a new junior project manager, without any practical experience working agile, who wants to establish scrum because what he read about it sounded so good... I already worked agile with kanban before and I loved it, but I only have little experience with scrum.
I think scrum, or agile in general, won't work with the clients we have. Most of the time, our clients have a fixed deadline, a fixed budget (either money or time) and they know their requirements, so there is no much room for beeing agile.
Regarding story points, I just adding an unneccessary layer of abstraction, because the customer wants to know how long a specific feature takes. Sure, story points are just another, more dynamic unit for time, but then why nut estimate in static time unit in the first place? Another fear I have, is that some devs may be more ignorant regarding deadlines and expectations on customers side. "yeah I'm working for 10 days on this story, but it's 8 points!" instead of informing the project manager "Currently I spend 2 days on this feature, we estimated 3 days, but it seems I need 3 days more".
Maybe I shouldn't be worried, but it would be great if you could share your experience and learnings. Thanks in advance!14
Honest question, if you work in an agile environment, do you prefer story points or counting of hours to gauge tasks?4
Looking for some guidance. I am thinking of doing freelance work on the side, but am a little hesitant when I think about contracts, closing out the projects, and getting paid. I even see it with my company where clients keep asking for little things here and there and it adds up to a lot of extra work and refusal to pay until this out of scope work is done. Do you guys have any tools or other suggestions that can help protect me as the developer in a freelance project?
Also, a good PM tool would be helpful too. I'm used to Trello, but it tends to get cluttered real fast.4
How do you use to keep trace/state of a project at work? Teamgantt? Asana? Pipefy? Slack with integrations?4
What do you guys use for personal project planning/todo's/etc...?
I'm currently using Google Keep with a bunch of different lists but looking for something more in depth.7
How does your team approach code reviews? What sort of processes/tools do you make use of?
Currently my team uses TFS (which I'm not a huge fan of). I'm trying to figure out how to track issues (requests) and the code review process.8
The Project Manager changed the project from scope driven to date driven with the teams giving him only t-shirt sizing estimates. Wish us luck...
I just learn to speak and explain stuff as humanly possible. Most project managers are like us, before we learned how to code. Just read some books on people management (like Crucial Conversations) and you will know how to manage PMs expectations.1
When your project manager/tester keeps changing different fields required, which is being handled 100% with JQuery....requiring you to rewrite the entire functions logic
This has now happened 4 times...
Project Management class, that is currently handled by the prof that "taught" us Java that ended the course/subject without telling what OOP == disaster4
Wanting to work on your side projects but having to do a paper simulating the project management of an assignment you did last year for college.
Project has been in flight for months. Solution design complete. Last minute major scope change by management. And I'm about to start rewriting a high level solution design doc to reflect their sudden change now. Due first thing in the morning. Its almost 12:30am local time.
I've started to make a tournament managed for the game osu!, but the project has been on hold for the last 9 months and will probably still be on hold for the next 10 months... By then there will be official tournament management tools. I should speedup i guess?
Person from a company I am contractor for tried to fuck me up and put me to the project with high money penalties without my will and behind my back.
I don’t understand those people.
You run a project do everything for them except delivering invoice to client and they try to fuck you anyway behind your or their client back.
You literally fight with people to give them money.
This all happened after me keeping their client project for almost 4 years.
Bell rings again to leave them this year after end of contract and don’t look back but I’m sad I need to leave nice client and application I was making for 4 years straight. I am oldest person in project probably only one that understands business behind it from ground up.
There was big rotation in project and knowing the company they will put some junior on my place that will break everything.
Well I still have some time to think ( maybe even couple of months) about what to do next besides taking some time off during this summer.
I am afraid that I rejected so many interesting offers during those 4 years nobody wants me and I got rusty with my stack I am no longer competitive.
I was unable to make anything during weekend and on Monday again cause of this shit.
What are you guys using for project / task management?
By you, I mean you or your company. It's about that time to make some changes at our agency.. we currently use asana and are starting to hate it.8
memcpy to fill a struct in an environment that should run on both big and little endian HW...
Yep that guy went on to project management. 😂
I was asked by one of our project managers to create a new big API for a customer.. Next day I found out that he already sent a PDF (that he copied somewhere) to the client, containing documentation of the API before I even wrote a single line of code 🤐1
Do you people think that you can use a self-hosted wikimedia installation in order to help users to correctly use your app(also a content management system)?
in a commercial project🤔🙄1
Did anyone of testers know if there is any free online test case management tool available for small development project? since I was trying to use JIRA, but the license is not free. So any advises? Thank you.2
Question for the Web Devs: What is your go-to CMS for Web Content Management? Was looking for a small project and wanted to learn to build Websites where the owner would occasionally add or update content on his website3
Do you guys and girls have booktips for a fresh junior PM? And what do you wish your PMs could do better?3
What's your team's best practice when using JIRA (on premises or cloud) and VSTS or GitHub?
Who manages issues/tickets and are they duplicated in both locations? Is one for PM only and other for Devs??
We have both tools and I'm trying to figure out a workflow that doesn't kill devs and PMs.
We have Office 365 so I heavily use MS Flow to help (Jira bug turns into vsts work item) etc, but any insight from anyone who has a similar setup would be appreciated!
How many people use a real bug tracker? We use a project management tool for our bug tracking and it SUCKS!
What tools do you use for project management/bug tracking?2
I want a new title! I'm currently a senior front-end engineer but often help with ux, project management, and requirements engineering. What title would fit this description? I also have an MS in Software Engineering if that matters.6
So, I wanted a little suggestion here.
I'm currently interning at a startup and currently we document our build procedures by creating .docx files containing the steps. But docx is a pain in the ass. I'd rather prefer markdown for documentation.
Are there any better tools for documenting? What do you guys use?
We're using Jira for project management bdw.1
Which should I choose:
Company A: much better pay and benefits, team seems nice, Glassdoor citing quite bad reviews about CEO and upper management.
Company B: current company. uninteresting field, team in distance, tech lead likes micro management and quite annoying in general. In middle of a project.5
Side projects and I'm kinda bookworm. Now I'm reading about ITIL. I'm project manager wananbe :-D. If you have some nice book about project management let me know in comments. There is never enough informations to learn.
How do you guys feel about daily stand-up ?? Is it wasting time or like the method sent from the god of project management.2
!rant: Need a little advice here. What are fundamental things to learn when moving from development to management? I have a course in project management from university, and one in personnel management, but what about the financial part? Where can I learn this?
1. Finish personal pen-tester tool project and open-source it
2. Get eCPPT and OSCP certificateed
3. Finish bachelor degree in IT management
4. Get a proper full time dev job
5. Learn to utilize docker properly
Hi guys and gals!
Currently in the search for a good management team for solo freelancing projects. I've used Trello before but am looking for something that maybe tracks time spent on tasks for hourly charge and is more defined to web development/design.
If anyone has any suggestions they would be greatly appreciated!
Thanks in advance! Keep on keeping on!4
I know it doesn't really exist in one solution, but I need management software to keep track of customers (crm), projects, products, licensing and contracts, and time keeping. Right now we are using MSCRM (ugh), and old homebrew project/time tracker written in Perl spaghetti (double ugh), email (sigh) and handwritten notes (kill me). Now I suddenly find myself with a budget (somewhat) and the authority to actually fix things. Any ideas would be appreciated.