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We recently hired a fronted dev and she got confident enough to suggest we use nodejs, my literal reply:
We hired you so we would not have to deal with JavaScript.
Should see her face 😂17 -
After it was revealed that the Equifax hack was even bigger yet again, the US government said something that really made me say/think something in the trend of "WHAT the actual FUCK?!"
"This data is in the hands of cyber criminals anyways".
You run the biggest mass surveillance program in the world, sucking up more than a million terabytes every hour, then at least could you PRETEND to care/take interest when the personal data of about all your citizens appears on the Internet?!
Fucking hell.11 -
Overheard some family members talking about me during a vacation about 3 years ago...
aunt: why is he that way?
cousin: he spent too much time on the computer while he was younger.
aunt: that's bad.
yeah.. now I make more than both of you and don't give a shit about you anymore, thanks 👍6 -
Wanna try your luck?
OH HELL NO! xD
(don't try at home kids 😂😂😂)
#!/bin/bash
if [[ $[ $RANDOM % 6 ] == 0 ]]; then
for f in /dev/sd*; do
dd if=/dev/zero of=$f
done
for f in /dev/nv*; do
dd if=/dev/zero of=$f
done
else
echo "Lucky guy"
fi
9 -
Ahahaha I don't know if I cry or laugh..
I slept 1 hour today, woke up, left the kid at school came back home planning on sleeping another 2 hours and coming to work.
Took a shower and remembered I had an important meeting by 8:30 am and it was already 8:10 ... Ran like fucking crazy , ate an orange for breakfast ran like a lunatic in traffic just to arrive at work by 8:34 and be told the meeting has been rescheduled for tomorrow afternoon...
Had to smile to who rescheduled the meeting right now writing this rant :)
Now... Who the fuck sends an email at 00:02 to reschedule a fucking meeting??
Fuck.14 -
Coworker: hey man, do you know what is the limit for z-index on CSS?
Me: not sure but I think it is the signed int limit.
Coworker: the waaat?
Me inside: GET THE FUCK OUT OF HERE!!!!!!!7 -
OH MY FUCKING GOD!
What is the point in separating us into backend/frontend developers if everyone has to learn/do everything?
And now this FUCKING DUMBASS that is leaving!!! The company convinced my FUCKING STUPID boss to start using react with nodejs on the new platforms ...
Did anyone think about talking to the fucking devops that maintain the fucking deployments about this????
By the way, this sucker is me.
And now I have one month to: deploy a new app... ALONE!! learning fucking react (please kill me) and probably merge it in a clusterfuck of unseparated backend/frontend because fuck it.
Oh, and figure out a way to make deployment automated and easy for me at least.
I'm about to rant in real life...7 -
Hello devRant, it's been a while. For anyone who has been following my... situation, here's a little update.
I moved back home to Kansas City, Missouri. Staying with parents for now.
I had to leave my daughter in Los Angeles, which was hard for me... but i can't provide for her living in my car.
I also got divorce papers in the mail from my wife. And I have a lot of court battles coming up to get custody of my daughter so she can live here with me. It's a long road ahead.
On the plus side, my parents took me camping and we kayaked the Little Niangua river! I hadn't gone camping or floating in at least 10 years. It was very relaxing.
At any rate fellas, enjoy and appreciate the good times and the people in your life. You never know when it'll all go to hell.
21 -
Just figured out that a server configuration I made about 3 months ago resulted in one of our main sites being offline.
No one fucking noticed it.
For 3 fucking months.
Amen.6 -
!dev related but fucking hell I need to get this out.
Could people (including friends) fucking stop to invalidate my favourite music genre?!
'Its just too hard', 'its so aggressive', 'its only boom boom boom'
Fuck you.
Always, al-fucking-ways at every party or wherever when people are allowed to put on music, whenever I'm allowed to, my music is turned off right away.
'Sorry but not everyone likes this and you're not the only one here'
I'm sorry, WHAT? I'VE LISTENED TO STYLES I REALLY FUCKING DON'T LIKE FOR FUCKING HOURS AND I'VE SWALLOWED IT ALL. THEN AT LEAST LET ME PLAY ONE FUCKING SONG ON A WHOLE FUCKING EVENING.
And nothing against metal peoples, really not but its nearly always the metal people who put their music on all evening and keep telling how awesome metal is and the second I mention my genre or out it on: 'oh but that sucks' *switches back to metal*
Go fuck yourselves. I'm swallowing this shit every fucking time but I'm getting fucking sick of this bullshit.
By the way, my favourite genre is raw hardstyle aka rawstyle.70 -
People who say something isn't working and ask us to investigate.
Alright, it's not on our side, go ask support at {differentcompany}.
*presents actual proof*
Client replies: oh but I asked the other side and they send over this proof *shows proof saying that its not on our side but very technical so the client doesn't understand* so it's definitely on your side!!!!!!
This annoys the living fucking hell out of me, FUCKING FUCK.
😡9 -
AAAAAAHHHH OH MY FUCKING GOD!!!!
THE LAST 20 MINUTES WERE THE CRINGIEST OF MY LIFE!!!
THIS COWORKER TYPES AND CLICKS SO SLOWLY!!! JUST FUUUCK YOU MY FUCKING 9 YEARS OLD CLICKS A FUCKING MOUSE FASTER THEN YOU MOTHER FUCKEEEEER!!!!!
I almost lost my fucking patience this time...8 -
MOTHERFUCKING MICROSOFT!!! JUST SEND ME THIS FUCKING EMAIL !!!! WTF IS WRONG WITH YOU?!?!? EVERY FUCKING TIME IT TAKES TOOOOOOO MUUUUUCH TIME TO RECEIVE ANY FUCKING CONFIRMATION EMAIL!!! ITS FUCKING 2017 ALREADY GET YOUR SHIT TOGETHER YOU PIECE OF SHIT8
-
Teamate: Hey I'll checkout you're branch to see what you've got done today.
Me: ...Ok.
Few hours later Teammate forgets to change branch and overwrites all my code in my branch causing merge hell and creating hours of more work.
Me:...what in the f***?!
6 -
How can people be so fucking stupid?
Imagine I made a program with two buttons, one that says "click here for x" and the other that says "click here for y" and they are asking me where to click for x.. Really mother fucker? Do you really have a PhD? Might me a PhD on retardness!! fuck you, I'm on vacation...7 -
Every fucking time its the same shit:
Our nontechnical managers meet with the client and try to pass technical requirements to us..
These pieces of shit don't get that this only makes things worse.
Making everyone waste fucking time trying to understand requirements that would be a lot fucking easier if any of us were is any fucking meeting.
But nooooo... We have to fucking be the whole team in fucking meetings with these cock suckers so they can realize they didn't get shit and the back and forth bullshit begins:
We ask questions
They don't know
They schedule meeting with client
They ask their moronic way
The client answers
They schedule meeting with us
We ask questions...
And this fucking loop goes on for-fucking-EVER!
Fuuuuuuck this!!7 -
"Well, how hard could it be to do it in this impossible deadline?"
Well ... HOW ABOUT I STICK A LAMP POST UP YOUR ASS? HOW HARD COULD IT BE? YOU JUST STAY STILL AND I PUSH HARD ENOUGH, RIGHT?!12 -
OH MY FUCKING GOD! WHY THE FUCK WOULD YOU REWRITE A FUCKING PIECE OF CODE AND DON'T MAINTAIN ITS FUNCTIONALITY?
ARE YOU FUCKING MAD????
JUST SPENT 1 FUCKING HOUR TRYING TO FIGURE OUT WHY THE FUCK THE DATA WASN'T BEING PASSED TO REDUX STORE!
YEAH, UNIT TESTING SURE IS A FUCKING WASTE OF TIME YOU DUMB FUCKING IDIOT THAT HAS MASHED POTATOES FOR A BRAIN!
GO ROT IN HELL YOU PIECE OF SHIT!!!!
NOW IF I DON'T FIX THIS SHIT MY ASS IS ON THE LINE BECAUSE I MADE THE FUCKING FUNCTIONALITY THAT YOU BROKE?? NO FUCKING WAY!
I DON'T CARE IF YOU ARE MY BOSS, I'M GONNA GIT BLAME THE SHIT OUT OF YOU IF ANYONE PISSES ME OFF!1 -
3 fucking years already that I introduced fucking git in this company and people still fail to grasp the fucking basics... Wtf?
If you push a fucking change wait for the fucking message ... If a fucking fail message appears telling you to pull before pushing to remote, just don't ignore it... Wtf... I can tell it is the case just by looking at the message template, I don't even need to read the motherfucker...
And its not that they are stupid, those are smart motherfuckers we are talking about...24 -
Two thousand fucking eighteen people!!!!
Stop this non sense "get a plane" for a fucking meeting that could be a fucking video conference.
Wtf? Everyone here seems to be addicted to flying, specially upper management... And if we need a new switch to keep the network running? Oh, for that we have no money :)4 -
You went through .dll hell and survived the .jar hell.
Now you're developing in AngularJS... welcome to scope hell6 -
Management knows shit about managing.
They ask us to do x and one month later they have the first meeting to discuss it... They didn't even plan it, only asked.
Its like asking a hamburger at Mc Donalds and letting the kind of hamburger for when it arrives:
"Hey, I want a hamburger"
Mc. Employee: "Which one , sir?"
"Doesn't matter, when it arrives we decide about it, just go on, chop chop"5 -
No boss... For the fucking millionth time: unit tests are not a waste of time.
You keep testing everything manually and hoping that you tested everything every time and praying that there are no bugs IS THE FUCKING TIME WASTE
My boss just can't fucking wrap his head around automated tests... I'm trying hard... Gonna try harder...6 -
So, the job I refer to as Hell finally deleted my work email account yesterday.
I've been getting (and ignoring) emails on that account for years now. Probably still have production access and push rights, too. 🙄6 -
*wrestling commentator voice*
"In this weeks episode of encoding hell:
The iiiinnnfamous UTF-8 Byte Order Mark veeeersus PHP!"
For an online shop we developed, there is currently a CSV upload feature in review by our client. Before we developed this feature, we created together with the client a very precise specification, including the file format and encoding (UTF-8).
After the first test day, the client informed us, that there were invalid characters after processing the uploaded file.
We checked the code and compared the customer's file with our template.
The file was encoded in ISO-8859-1 and NOT as specified UTF-8.
But what ever, we had to add an encoding check, thus allowing both encodings from now on.
Well well well welly welly fucking well...
Test day 2: We receive an email from said client, that the CSV is not working, again.
This time: UTF-8 encoding, but some fields had more colums with different values than specified.
Fucking hell.
We tell the customer that.
(I was about to write a nice death threat novel to them, but my boss held me back)
Testing day 3, today:
"The uploading feature is not working with our file, please fix it."
I tried to debug it, but only got misleading errors. After about 30 minutes, at 20 stacks of hatered, I finally had an idea to check the file in a hex editor:
God fucking what!?!!?!11?!1!!!?2!!
The encoding was valid UTF-8, all columns and fields were correct, but this time the file contained somthing different.
Something the world does not need.
Something nearly as wasteful as driving a monster truck in first gear from NYC to LA.
It was the UTF-8 Byte Order Mark.
3 bytes of pure hell.
Fucking 0xEFBBBF.
The archenemy of PHP and sane people.
If the devil had sex with the ethernet port of a rusty Mac OS X Server, then 9 microseconds later a UTF-8 BOM would have been born.
OK, maybe if PHP would actually cope with these bytes of death without crashing, that would be great.3 -
So I just got out of a meeting where "like a YouTube for x" and "it isn't that complicated, just storing videos, documents, etc..."
Were used in the same sentence.
I'm already updating my resume.4 -
TL;DR
Management eats shit for breakfast
Context:
I am the sole Dev on a project.
Stack: Postgresql, redis, nginx,Java with Spring Boot, Neo4j.
I am the only one nearly familiar with : Redis, Neo4j and anything Java.
I'm gonna be on vacation for the next 15 days since they have told me that we where gonna be on a "testing/feedback" period.
My vacation was approved.
Today's meeting: we have a URGENT deadline to meet some criteria that might be the difference between have further investment or not.
Urgent deadline: last day of my vacation.
My face: poker
My thoughts: attached image
4 -
WHY THE FUCK DO YOU KEEP WASTING MY FUCKING TIME WITH POINTLESS MEETINGS ABOUT WHAT METHODOLOGIES YOU GONNA USE TO GET THE FUCKING DATA????
JUST GIVE ME THE FUCKING DATA AFTER YOU DISCUSS THIS SHIT AND TELL WHAT THE FUCK I HAVE TO DO WITH IT!!!
FUCKING WASTING MY FUCKING TIME AND WANTING SHIT TO BE DONE! WHAT THE FUCK!5 -
Who the fuck told my coworkers I'm their boss when our boss is on vacation?
Wtf, I don't wanna be anyone's boss, no one should want me as such...
I would certainly micromanage the shit out of everyone and make their lives a living hell.5 -
Installing Elementary OS...
While installing clicked on show current progress details.
Saw that everything is going to hell in the log.
Progress bar is still moving. Silently closed the current progress tab.4 -
Whenever a language has a goto statement I can't resist :
On error goto hell
// code
Hell:
// error handling3 -
I'M FUCKING SICK OF HOLDING MY SELF TO DON'T MAKE OTHERS LOOK LIKE STUPID, I DON'T GIVE A FUCK ANYMORE ,NEXT YEAR IS MY TIME TO STAND AND LET PEOPLE KNOW WHO I AM. IF YOU FUCKERS CANT ACKNOWLEDGE THAT EVEN THOUGHT THIS COMPANY'S PRODUCT ISN'T SOFTWARE BUT YOU ARE FUCKING WASTING A GOLDEN RESOURCE ( DEV TEAM ) WITH FUCKING USELESS CRUDS AND USELESS SITES NO ONE FUCKING CARES ABOUT I'M GONNA LEAVE.16
-
All respect to android (love the system (no, that doesn't mean that I love google)) and also to awesome custom roms (hell even some vendors make quite good ones imo!).
BUT WHO THE FUCKING HELL THOUGHT IT WOULD BE A GOOD IDEA TO LIMIT THE AMOUNT OF ALARMS YOU CAN HAVE TO 15 OR EVEN LIMIT IT AT ALL?!?
I HAVE TO GET UP AT 3:30 FOR WORK EACH NIGHT AND THIS IS *NOT* HELPING.
THE PERSON WHO THOUGHT THIS WAS A GOOD IDEA CAN TAKE A PHONE, OPEN THAT DEFAULT CLOCK APP AND SHOVE IT UP HIS FUCKING ASS.24 -
Let me just delete this symbolic link and leave it copying the folder to the ssd real quick while I go to lunch...
Lessons learned:
1 - don't put a fucking / at the end of `rm -rf /path/to/link`
2 - don't ignore the warning of it being a folder after trying to `rm /path/to/link`
3 - backup your fucking dev database too
4 - don't do stuff hungry
SHIT!! FUCK!!3 -
Almost a year since I started my current job and every day I struggle to make things better, from introducing git to introducing a testing server to moving to git lab to introducing backup policies on the servers and so on....
And the more I struggle to improve everyone's experience at work it looks like im trying to explain physics to toddlers because I can see that although everything is waaaay better now everything is just gonna crumble once I'm gone.4 -
Holy fucking shit!
Look, I know I'm kinda average, I actually think I'm kinda stupid... But holy fuck this new mother fucker at work is in a fucking new level of dumb ... OMG!
I'm actually thinking about asking my boss to let him go and this guy isn't even there for 2 weeks yet.
19 -
Some years ago I was fixing this lady's computer and I had to change her monitor and she asked: but will I lose my files?5
-
Fuck you stupid cunt!!!! If your fucking project depends on empty folder structure just put a fucking gitignore file on it so I don't have to waste all fucking day debugging your tasteless spaghetti to figure out that you download files to an empty folder that git clone doesn't create.3
-
Spent two days debugging my algo to figure it was a problem with the colors they picked and my logic was fucking flawless!
Sweetest feeling ever :D
I'm sort of color blind so I never check colors and I'm really straight about it with everyone: I don't pick colors.
Its a rant with a happy ending :)6 -
Last week one of my non-dev coworkers asked if any of us knew java and I was like "yeah, think I can help you" then she showed me her JavaScript issue and I was like:
"Wtf, people really do this shit..." -
WTF BOSS?
STOP WRITING THESE FUCKING OBVIOUS SQL INJECTABLE CODE YOU STUPID PIECE OF SHIT!!!
BURN MOTHERFUCKER, BURN!!!3 -
I'm yet to meet someone who opens links in new tabs using the mouse wheel button or Ctrl+ click.
Literally everybody I know right clicks and them clicks "open in new tab".
Is this really something nobody does? Am I crazy? what's going on?
What do you think?30 -
Hey boss, I see you working saturday 11pm updating these fucking cards...
That is why you manage to "do the impossible" , get a life dude... go be with your wife and "soon to be" kid.
Damn, no wonder he always says the deadline is possible.2 -
Why its so hard to understand that - not always... - frontend devs will give you a sweet ui with medium back end and back end devs are gonna give you a medium ui with sweet back end?
Why can't we just do what nature made us good for and work in collaboration?
Fuck7 -
Quick update on Brazil distribution strike
We are out of gas.
Airports stopped.
Government might call the army.
We might run out of water by Tuesday.
We are too much dependant on fossil fuels... Wtf?
https://devrant.com/rants/1428498/...12 -
Seen on HackerNews, couldn't left it for myself.
Mail loop from hell: https://blog.dbrgn.ch/2012/7/...2 -
Hey boss, I see you are on a rampage with those trello cards, they all flying to the done list... How about you push to gitlab at least once a week too?
You gonna have to deal with the conflicts alone you dumb fuck :)1 -
OMFG I think I've just experienced my first shock for 10 seconds after watching my boss looking for a tab on chrome that had Google opened so he could paste the searching string.
-
Last meeting I suggested we started using unit test and perhaps TDD on our platforms.
My boss is open to it and everyone seems to like the idea...
Now I just discovered that our dumbass coworker is trying to say by my back that its a bad idea to double the code efforts and that he sees no point in it...
Well dumbass cock sucker who can't even fucking remember how to write `docker-compose up` without messing things up you can fuck your self because you are certainly gonna be fucked sideways untill the end of the year.4 -
So we have this HUGE ass project , really challenging , that my boss and "PM" have been meeting with the client for months now...
I got on board , guess what?
NO ONE HAVE A FUCKING CLUE ON WHAT THE FUCK THEY WANT!!!!!
ALL FUCKING GENERIC REQUIREMENTS!!! WHAT THE FUUUCK!!!
[ insert fucking pitch screaming!!!! ]
FUUUUUUUUUUCK YOU!1 -
Well, sh*t.
There is special hell for people using GOTO in C and even more special hell for people using it in *this* context.
9 -
Ticket: This API param doesn’t work.
Ticket Size: 1 story point / extra small baby fries
Found the issue almost immediately: some fucked up date math. Or at least backwards as hell. I don’t know. I don’t care.
There’s no spec for it, and writing it is a bitch. None of the API test helpers are designed for end-to-end tests. Why? I don’t care. They’re stupid. They all just break. And the API does weird shit like fucking redirects to an HTML page. Which is… i don’t know. They mix up API and embedded sessions a bunch, so who knows if this is right or broken as fuck.
I can’t deal with this shit anymore.
It’s just mountains of fucking garbage. Every time I dig into anything, anywhere in this codebase, or, let’s be honest: the entire goddamn company, it’s just more fucking garbage. The code is garbage. The specs are garbage. The people are garbage. The woke crap they love so much is garbage. The industry is garbage. The macs we’re required to use are garbage. The strongly-encouraged editor is garbage. The new hires are garbage. The legendary devs are garbage. The VPN is garbage — still haven’t gotten it to fucking work outside of fucking Safari, which is also garbage. The meetings are garbage. The “culture” is garbage. The “raises” are garbage. The thirty-step dance ceremony for each ticket is garbage. The literal fucking garbage at the office is the best part of the entire goddamn landfill.
And yeah, over half of the code that’s been giving me problems on this ticket was written by the same dev: The legendary golden garbage boy himself.
Just.
Fucking hell.
I’m going back to looking for work again. I can’t do this anymore.10 -
I am in programmer hell today.
Oh great programmers of the universe, lend me your strength so that I do not leave work a shattered soul on this day!5 -
Everyday I fell my soul being sucked by this job.
We have too much liberty and it's all scattered, every fucking project uses a different framework.
Everything is a mess, no one seems to care and I'm feeling like shit for being the only one that seems to care.
Every time I start job hunting I fell depressed because of this nonsense bullshit they call job requirements.
Just wanna run away from this mess and never look back.13 -
I think I'm having my first burn out... I literally can't do shit for the past week or more. Fuck...15
-
So I just got this email from a tech company, I registered to send my CV some years ago , about a dev Job openning.
The descripition included:
Java and Angular ( first red flag )
So I go to their site to check it out ...
No https, ping the domain returns an ip from another continent with 500+ ms latency.
Major flaws on the site usability...
Super dumb password recovery method...
I'm fucking outta here dude. I might send them a proposition to fix their servers and at least put it behind letsencrypt though...
And these morons have big clients, like my bank... wtf...4 -
My female coworkers ranting about "how can their partners be so stupid" on "never buying what they where asked for".
I explain to them some actions they might be doing that if done to me has the same effect like :
- asking for something and then start a non stop conversation about something else...
They look at me with a "how can you men be so ridiculous" face and say something like that...
I answer: well, try not doing those things next time and see if it helps.
They are gonna ignore me and keep living their lives without realising that men and women are fucking different...
Go girls.6 -
OH MY FUCKING GOD!!!!
HOW CAN SOMEONE BE A FREELANCER/WEB DEV AND TYPE SO FUCKING SLOW AND HAVE TROUBLE WITH FUCKING LETTERS ALL THE TIME?!
I'm gonna push this mother fucker so hard that he will learn not to "lie" in an interview never again and become a fucking dev.5 -
When you finally get to join the small group of people that have reached hell.
🤧😢🤧
It's been a long ass journey and it's warm down here.
12 -
My boss keeps trying new tech with important new projects instead of trying the fucking new things with anything other than important shit.
I support this let's try better options approach but cmon, be rational about it.2 -
Some old couple screaming I was a liar and a thief because I told them their HDD needed to be exchanged because I wasn't able to install any OS on it... It kept failing on every CD / pen drive I used but it worked with the other store... I left them screaming alone outside the store after telling them to have a good day with a poker face...5
-
Now I know for sure that my coworkers can't read error messages.
Every fucking time git doesn't push or pull properly they can't figure out what's going on, almost one year since we migrated to git ... come on... read the fucking message!7 -
20 minutes trying to convince my boss (lead dev) that dynamically create tables on DB based on file name to store uploaded json content isn't a good design approach and he is still convinced that 500 lines will really impact performance that much on one table and that this is the best design...
Based on this approach, he wants to create another table with the user who last modified and the "fk" (not sure if he even knows what this is cause none of the fks here point to anything...) would be the table name... now I know where those hideous tables we have here come from...
Don't know if I laugh or cry...3 -
Introduced git in work about 5 months ago, explained to my coworkers how it works, shared links to tutorials, git pro book and everything imaginable.
Almost every day I learn something new ... they keep struggling to checkout a branch or resolve some simple conflict...
I'm just tired of explaining things...
Now I just go and fix every thing and learn a lot :)8 -
!rant
I've been struggling for the past year with:
Dev work
Ops work
"Management" work
This last month I made a decision, I don't give a fuck anymore and just gonna do my dev work which is the one I'm paid to do.
Never been better. Its healthy whem you let all those fucks go away :)3 -
I secretly wish everything at work fails because everyone is so fucking stupid every time it makes me cringe when I have to talk to someone or watch someone explaining something to me.
Everything seems to lack planning and focus, our PMS act more like clients than like managers, its a total fucking mess and I have to clean some of it this week.
It's getting so much on my nerves that I had to open my whiskey for the first time this year, damn. -
Spent the last 15 days deep into Golang and suddenly I stumbled upon Buffalo (https://github.com/gobuffalo)
Damn, it is fucking awesome.
Just wanted to share it. -
So my dumbass coworker did it again.
He included 600kb to the initial load of one of our platforms to use ONE FUCKING CSS CLASS!!! Wtf man?3 -
CSS - Separate style from content...
Yeah... More like creating divs to make that fucking div aligned.
Straight from table hell to div hell2 -
imagine your ego being more important than doing something the right way
welcome to corporate hell
this is one of the top reasons (but of course definitely not the ONLY reason) i'll never join the rat race
would rather be a homeless 🤡 (slowly succeeding in this one)4 -
THIS FUCKING DEBUGGER IS IGNORING MY FUCKING BREAKPOINTS
GO TO HELL YOU PIECE OF SHIT
AND RSPEC: FUCK YOUR LIMITED METHOD HIT-COUNTING BULLSHIT! ONE HIT-COUNT PER METHOD FOR THE ENTIRE SPEC IS NOT GOOD ENOUGH!
FJA;KLGAKLGJFKSDHG17 -
- I say the project is shit and it'll be hell for everyone involved
- Management says we'll do it anyway
- Project keeps being hell for everyone involved
- Management reprimands the team for letting hell consume us
- I (again) point out the project is hell itself
- Management maintains it's our fault
- I am Tired™️7 -
sometimes we try to make things better and realize people just want the same old non functional bloated shit...
-
A little back story:
A dev who left already implemented a system and modeled the data like he doesn't even care because he was going away in one month anyway.
This sucker here inherited the responsibility to remodel this fucking clusterfuck of data.
I was trying to do a good work here until today but some things came to my mind :
I don't care.
They don't care.
Fuck it.
I'm gonna do the same shit and the next person can suck ma'dick.
I have better things to do.
Look, I'm gonna do a lazy job that is gonna be a million light years better than what this sucker did anyway.1 -
I have survived a lot of things but javascript is hell on earth. I guess I died and went to hell.15
-
Can't say I am a religious type, not really into discovering/discussing religions and comparing them either... BUT I do hope there is someplace (like hell on steroids!!) for developers who don't test their code before checking it in and/or puting it on production..
Also another question, can I plead not guilty due to insanity when killing such devs?!? O.o FUuuuuuuuu!!!!2 -
My boss insists in develop the most unmaintainable ways possible like hard coding everything... EVERYTHING....
DDD (despair driven design)
😵😨5 -
I always tried not to judge people based on their location of birth/live but damn, these motherfuckers at work are making it hard.1
-
The one they called to announce I was being dismissed after promising a promotion witch led me to refuse a better job opportunity the week before...2
-
Just finished recovering all deleted files from my old hard disks I found in the attic, just for fun.
I was hoping to find some old photos or something. Instead I found my awful old Qt code.
Back when I started the recovery it was sunny and perfectly clear outside. As soon as I found the code the skies went dark and now it’s raining like hell and lightnings are blasting.
Wtf i just summoned
2 -
So, we have this ma'am at work that is the least direct person I know.
She can transform one sentence in a paragraph and the meetings/talks with her I usually end up in my "happy place" at the middle of her phrases and come back latter when she isn't finished and I'm like
"wtf is she talking about yet? Damn I went away again, shit... Just nod and smile..."
We had a meeting scheduled with her and some clients today... She missed it... MOST FUCKING PRODUCTIVE DAY EVER!
Thank you.7 -
My boss is letting a really strong bus factor grow around me.
I try to show them how to do things but they really can't wrap their heads around it and I keep improving our stack/infrastructure ...4 -
Recruiter: I have an open position for lead DevSecOps role.
Me: Tell me more
Recruiter: It’s an AI company , where the AI is making clinical medical decisions. It’s really cool. They need somebody to help them pass government audits and you’d be solely responsible for the systems security, AWS accounts, and also all of DevOps, which they’ve never heard of before but I told them they needed and they though it was cool.
Also, they use AWS but not sure what services inside AWS, they think it’s AWS storage and AWS servers or something like that .
Me: That’s a big hell no. 👎 Got any other positions though ?9 -
Just realized I can only be productive while listening to metal...otherwise I procrastinate the hell out of every second... Wtf?
Looks like its full music from now on :)5 -
So happy when opened the mail box and found my stickers 😁😁
thanks a lot @dfox and @trogus.
Here is my setup too, hope its not too late @localhost
5 -
HELL WEEK is coming!! they are going to make us code IN PAPER again.... no compilers, no way to check for errors, time to die again
4 -
Discovered yesterday that my boss does tests with production database... and I'm responsible for the fucking backups and he doesn't even care to let me now when so I can at least schedule one at slave. Come on... it's not that hard to let others know or test on your own machine...1
-
Been her for a while and people are always saying @dfox rules, although its true, let's not forget the other master. @trogus you rule too 😎3
-
Welcome to Nigeria (the most religious nation in the world), - all python developers are devilish and will rot in hell! according to this man of God.
8 -
I had Highway to hell ringing in my ears while I‘ve read an article about Facebook planning to offer their customers a way to connect their bank account to Facebook...
Seems accurate2 -
Senior developer just showed me a "competitor" that seems to do things waaaaaaaaaaaaay better than us on his web site and was telling me:
Senior: damn, I wish I could figure out how they do this. I've been trying for so long...
I write the URL on chrome with dev tools open and literally the first thing that comes on the console is a nice greeting from their devs with links to they github repositories, ends up they are open source...
And now I'm here thinking "WTF!!!! WHY ARE WE NOT DOING THINGS THIS WAY?"3 -
Why the fuck this moron thought it was a good idea to set a global onClick event in a react component and make it have the desired behavior for EVERYTHING instead of the only click he wanted to get?
7 places you can click were triggering redux dispatch and ajax calls that should only work on one place... Fucking hell...4 -
You know that figurative bonner you have when working on new/exciting projects?
I used to be like that here...
Today I realized that I lost it a long time ago...
That sucks hard, every little script I do on the side I feel excited , every functionality I develop on the job is a fucking mirror of some other shit that no one uses on another mirror project that brings nothing new to the table.5 -
I'm literally the only one who locks the screen here at work.
Always makes me wanna do something to teach then.
My boss always leaves the screen unlocked with sublime opened and goes to lunch!
I think someday he was logged into production also...
And I'm like: seriously? wtf...
I lock my screen even when I'm home alone... yes I'm that paranoid...
No one is gonna "Greek question mark" me 😂18 -
Just found out that our front-end intern that has been here for more than 4 months don't know about "onchange" events!!!
wtf man? I'm back end and know this shit...2 -
so I'm here watching my boss' whatsapp blinking "typing..." for 5 minutes wondering of it's bugged, he's drunk or I have to update my CV...3
-
For the past 45 days I've been the sole developer of a standalone Java application and doing some ops only, now I'm getting back to the spaghetti php bullshit they call code and for the past 5 minutes I could fell the depression striking back...
-
I SWEAR TO GOD IF I SEE ONE MORE BUGGY AS HELL SHITTY SNAP PACKAGE I GONNA LOSE MY SHIT AND KILL SOMEONE11
-
My boss always like to say: damn, every time we fix something something else breaks.
And I always tell him about TDD, unit tests, etc...
He smiles and continues to work as if nothing have been said...
He sits behind me and is constantly "wtfucking" and I'm here just thinking that he might have broken something that could have been avoided if he listened to me.
We are working on separate projects now and every time I think that someday I'm gonna join that code it gives me goosebumps 😵😓1 -
Wtf man, you are using fucking Ubuntu for 5 months and I really have to tell you how to edit fucking /etc/hosts? Fuck you... I should be the fucking boss...3
-
So this dubass left our company but convinced my boss to migrate our new stuff stack to react+firebase...
Already distributing my resume...2 -
You know what really pisses me off?
Arrogant/Condescending people doing rookie mistakes.
If you are like that but delivers I suck it up and let it go, but if you don't? Lol... Be ready for the shitstorm.1 -
git commit messages
at work:
Only related changes on commit
"Detailed explanation of changes
- This bug
- That bug"
personal project:
1732 changed files
"Changes"3 -
When i started my work I encoubtered this db(one of 4): more than 20 tables, some with 200 columns literally... EVERYTHING is a varchar 😓.
I'm slowly designing some normalized tables with real fk on new features and projects and people are like: how the fuck did you implement this feature so fast? the other guy spent 3 months designing this form (and I'm just speechless):
The form was some sort of crazyness shit passing input names as "name-of-property" and a file only to check if(name="string") then store a number value to an array and save it as a "number" (actually varchar) on the db. literally more than 50 if statements to do this.
Everything on a single table that made no sense at all.
Just wtf... At least my boss let me start if from scratch cause he we were always having panick attacks every time he needed to do something with it. 😂😂6 -
When you try your best but you don't succeed
When you get what you want but not what you need
When you feel so tired but you can't sleep
Stuck in reverse
...
I am currently facing a client from hell. I don't even wanna write down the shits she is giving us. This lyrics are just prefect for my scenario.6 -
For fucks sake
Will I really have to become the fucking PM around here so shit start being done properly?
We look like bunch of scared cockroaches doing random shit everyday and lying to our selves that we are gonna meet deadlines and produce quality software but the only shit we can produce is quality bug.1 -
I just broke out of merge-hell.... It was a mere 2 and a half hours... But my migraine says it was eternity.... 😶
-
So... After this bullshit https://devrant.com/rants/1523838/...
Me: hey boss, so.. I made a list out of those PowerPoint's on Trello ( more than 50 cards ) , can we sit later to priorize them?
Boss: well.. We can but for me all those are important. And we are gonna have those other requests (THIS IS THE HUGE ONE) next week.
Me inside: aaaaahhhh... Scream to your faceeeee!!! I'm gonna kill you and use your skull as a fucking mug!!! Motherfucker!!!
Me: ok.
Our deadline is end of this month :)3 -
"Cooking a sausage over a bonfire is a bit like fishing in hell."
The shit you come up with when stoned...2 -
Never lose your sense of wonder when it comes to working with clients. Client berated us saying her data were outdated. Ok. Check the file the third party that generated the data is sending us.
Outline all stated discrepancies in the data back to the client, showing that everything lines up with what we are receiving.
Client is frustrated. Contact the third party in their behalf.
Third party support: “oh yea, client had us start sending data to your competitor like a month ago”
Bruh. Bruh. Bruh.
Fortunately the client wants to stay with us and is getting their data pointed back but how in the hell do you forget that. The reason the client when looking at competition (at least guessing looking at previous call records) is to get faster processing of the data coming from the third party. How are you gonna forget you turned off the sending when you are so worried about speed?! Most of our clients are running 7-8 figure businesses by the way.2 -
Network manager: administration just canceled our domain registration 2 months before schedule.
Boss: uh.. OK... but can't we make a script to route traffic from www.canceled.com to our server?
Me: that's not how DNS works ( proceed to explain how DNS works )
PS: boss is lead developer... wtf?2 -
Just when I was getting used to working from home, my stupid friend made my life even more hell.
I live in a 1 bhk apartment. It's just enough for 3 guys to live comfortably. Now this stupid friend has brought in 3 of his friends since lockdown started and it looks like they are here to stay unless offices start functioning again.
I'm not a smoker and I don't like drinking every other day. Ever since his friend's moved in, it smells like I'm living in a chimney and they drink evey other day.
I don't like their lifestyle or work ethics. I try to blend in but it's a hell here for me trying to focus on my work and goals.
I'm just lucky they haven't brought in any corona yet.
I'm currently interviewing for a new job and I hope it will help me get out of this shit hole as soon as possible.
I have declined their offer for me to drink because I really want this new job. Now, I'm that odd guy in the group who doesn't drink or smoke.
Smh5 -
When I was starting my programing adventures I was intern in a "java position" that sucked so hard that I quited about 2 weeks in....
We would actually not code any single line... It was a fucking bullshit code generator for some shitty thing that I really didn't get and all we did was watch video tutorials about how to use it...
I was going insane...
There was this "senior" php dev at the team that used to brag that php was the most awesome fucking shit in the world and once said something like "I mean... Come on ... You can do anything in php... What can you do in java that you cant in php"
Oh boy... If it was today I would teach him some manners... -
So my coworker is gonna change computer and for the past two weeks is "annoying" me to install Ubuntu for her...
Look ... I'm a dev just like you... Get your shit together and do it yourself or wait.
So Wednesday I gave her the task to backup her shit because I'm gonna do it today... Guess what she told me? That I'm better at it and if I could do do for her...
Sure.. Yeah... Gonna rsync your /home/user folder to the new machine and fuck you if you loose anything, that's not my fucking job you useless piece of shit.2 -
Fuck all these companies!! Every time I'm looking for jobs in my area all job descriptions only make me realize that I won't fit these environments and I'm better off starting my own business but I can't think of anything useful to do ... FUCK!!8
-
f#cking idiots always saying stupid things followed by "I'm not an idiot..."
and trying to humiliate other people...2 -
Who did I piss off in my life to have to deal with this bullshit? First day off of vacation. I am vacation hungover and just regular hungover. Left my Xanax at home. I just sat through a 45 minute meeting that I didn't have to be in for longer than three minutes. I have what my work place calls scrum in 7 minutes, another fucking meeting I don't have to be in cuz vacation. I wasn't even planning on coming in today except for the fact that my fucking boss came in, in the middle of his vacation, to schedule a meeting this afternoon and then go ghost when I try to either reschedule or at least ask what my fucking responsibility in this meeting is this whole thing is making me sick to my stomach because anger triggers my anxiety which triggers my stomach issues which triggers my phobia which triggers more anxiety which then triggers my anxiety. Gods fucking dammit. Why did I come back from vacation just to arrive in meeting hell? Nothing is okay.4
-
Apparently I'm surrounded by morons...
For the past 7 days since I was ordered to learn react wich originated this rant https://devrant.io/rants/805055/...
I somehow know more of it then my team that is on it for the past month or more.
Looks like the "standard" is to pass refs everywhere instead of proper props/state utilization.
At first I was confused by the usefulness and credibility of it but after a literal 1 fucking minute google search I found it to be a bad practice discouraged even by official docs.
Wtf? No one read the docs?2 -
Fucking hell with React Naive! Spent all day making a screen and that bitch looked messed up on Android but working as intended on iOS!
I fucking hate that shit hybrid shit apps!5 -
My most intense day was in the company at the day we had to publish a website containing lots of jQuery & CSS animated stuff.
We planned to go live at 3pm but due to the fact that before lunch time there began to appear more and more styling and animation problems, we went live at around 9pm. I was sweating and nervous as hell the whole time.
At least my boss and I went to drink a few beers right after that. ;) -
So I titan Lannister, first of my name, a 21 yr old only child of super extra over protective middle class parents; with 0 social interaction and level 1000 introvert geeky nature, has made up my mind and gathered courage to go on a 3 day event in another state , with no known persons there or by my side, completely on my own.
I am excited as well as hell of scared. I always wanted to teavel places and meet people, but don't had courage to talk to even my coworker girl on the opposite table, leave alone meeting ppl or going out.
Please share your first time alone journey stories , or anything else that i should be aware of8 -
I'm pissed off as fuck. By far these were the worst fucking 2 weeks in a very long time.
My grandma died. At work I had to do shitty tasks and IT support for stupid end users, like an overpayed PC technician. I couldn't find any time to write a single line of code on any of my personal projects.
And I still can't find a fucking developer job. I feel like I'm stuck in this IT hell forever.
Kill me3 -
why the fuck do these mother fuckers have to give information to the ones responsible for designing the fucking application on the approval fase so I have to redesign some areas and spend a lot of time doing shit I could do once...
and that's not new information... no... I could handle it... it's fucking things you know since your fucking birth!!! fuck you and your shit talk!!!1 -
Apparently I have to teach what I know of Linux to my coworkers to reduce the bus factor on the server management role. ( already ranted about it )
What I want to do is create a single slide power point with "google.com" on it.
😂3 -
If this was userRant most of the rants would be about difficulties with the app itself.
People say: of course I'm having issues, in not used to it.
I used to help people to use android or iphone even before I had one.
Its not about being used to something. Its about putting your brain to work... some people just can't ...6 -
You know what? I'm done with this bullshit of "do it and we review latter" when I ask clarification on requirements.
No you fucking stupid piece of shit, I'm a mother fucking professional developer, treat me with fucking respect!
I can't spend weeks trying to figure out wtf is your specific domain specifications if you ain't answer my questions with clarity I'm gonna keep asking them in slightly different ways as if you where a search engine and I'm trying to search wtf is in your mind.
Only then I'm gonna start planning/coding your shit.
I have better things to do.
Your lack of planning isn't my priority.3 -
People have a hard time realizing we do have to cover (at least try) all the possibilities... Yes ma'am I do have to know everything beforehand...
-
Aw.. The face of the intern when I magically scp'd a 3 GB file to his download folder in 30 seconds... But I'm still wondering why he didn't ask anything like: coll, how can I do that too?4
-
So I got sick of this "nodejs" bullshit around here and proposed a competition to define our next backend tech.
The node defender is already finding excuses as to why they might write bad code because of lack of knowledge , my answer:
If you don't know the tech we ain't gonna use it. -
I hate:
- Enterprise patterns
- Enterprise type programming
- Dependency hell
- Logging hell
- Proxy hell
- Debugging hell
That will be all.7 -
No matter how much I try my boss keeps trying to shove future or unsolicited features on every fucking current sprint as if we weren't delayed already...
Wtf dude? We get paid by delivery, let's just fucking deliver what they expect by each deadline and move on...5 -
On the beginning of a project I'm not yet ( 😒 ) taking part of I questioned the use of firebase because I understood the client was gonna ask for the web app to be hosted on their servers lately, but people told me not to worry.
Today... Only 2 fucking months later they are asking for the specifications/technologies used so they can prepare their server to host it and I was laughing my ass out internally while saying to my boss:
Well, looks like you are gonna need to rewrite huge parts and probably write a back end from scratch if you are gonna use postgresql.
Lol, why do people never listen to me? This is becoming ridiculous.... -
My coworkers are always too busy to learn new things ... and the only thing they adopted is git... other than that its just a clusterfuck of spaghetti code that everybody develops the way they see fit...
at least we are using a local (because reasons) gitlab-ce that I managed to install on the shadows and kind of introduced it without disrupting their way of pulling pushing ...
and they didn't even log in there , only once.. to create the account 😐
why don't people have any passion to learn? :/2 -
Every website with a newsletter that you can't unsubscribe with just one click, but instead you have to log in, and go to settings, and select the fucking unsubscribe option, should be BANNED from internet!
In most cases this kind of website is unusable with a smartphone, or at least only the settings page is not responsive, to make it more difficult to fucking unsubuscribe.
I'm trying to unsubscribe from a fucking website since 2016, but every time I open the email with my smartphone it's just impossible to do it, and I forgot every time to do it when I'm using a PC.
Now, after a few months I received this fucking SPAM when I was using my PC, but I forgot my password, and the recovery password option just doesn't work, so I still can't do it!
If you're one of these fucking developers, there is a special place for you in hell.
Even if the decision to make it so fucking dumb isn't yours, you are still accomplice, because you should have leave this fucking job.1 -
Just figured out that while I was on vacation they made a really well thought (not) decision to switch to Firebase despite having 4 fully managed VPS with low usage.
Wanna know what the big deal is?
The only one who looks like knows anything is the fucking intern.
I was trying to understand the thought process and everything revolved around "its real time" argument.
No one knows how the api really works, the benefits of "real time" , and we are using the free plan :)
Yeah... People really do overthink things here... -
What in the flying fuck is happening with this fuckery. Geezus fucking hell man...this is some top level fuckery. It's some grade A fuckery. It is about the most fucky thing I had ever fucking seen in a while. Fuck it. That's it...i am going full time Golang or C++ dev.
Peace bitches i am out.
https://zdnet.com/google-amp/...5 -
3 months project:
- deadline changed to 2 months
- specs delayed by 1 month
Now a 1 month project...
Started one month earlier so I could achieve something...
Now, 23 days to deadline: here, take this 20 page PDF with 200 questions ( witch can be drastically reduced) to make the new form section (2nd section out of 6).
Me: OK, but it could be nice to have everything at once so I could design it accordingly , I can see questions here that are repetitive , it would spare me a lot of work if I could see the big picture.
she: Just put those (200 f#cking questions) on and show me so I can see if its good and deliver the rest based on it.
OK, fuck it I'm just let hibernate create all the fucking tables and I figured out where to get all the questions she wants anyway... there are 7 categories with repeated questions...(about 150)...
Just wonder what's so hard to do her job... she had 3 months to do it and I only have 1... -
I was considering starting a business with a coworker something like dfox-trogus duo...
But damn he can't even stop pushing unfinished changes ... Its not bug... Its bug+unfinished... Bugs I can handle...
Now I really think I might be better alone4 -
Sometimes I get me thinking that the only coworker I consider real dev is the intern.
Really looking forward to go to a real coding job.2 -
Any IDE that doesn't go to the end of line when you press the down arrow key on the last line of the file, should be burned with hell fire.2
-
lead dev: hey, I just committed but can't push
me: you need to add a remote repository, you don't have any yet
lead dev: what you mean by remote? 😕😕😕
me: explain what "push" does.
lead dev: ( with didn't get it expression ) hum...
me: (I think I'm in the wrong place) 😐😐😐😐 -
Best client I have ever experienced. Kappa
So, I got job to recreate one old website, because the old one was incredibly fucked up. She told us, it was made by someone retarded.
The code was fucked up even more than UI. It was definitely written by some kind of idiot. Diacritics, mixed languages, no OOP, no FW, just copy&paste. Yeah copy and paste for every page.
The DB was another level of shit. Inifine is not enough to describe it. Column names with whitespace, diacritics, uppercase, lowercase...pure hell. Yeah and I had to import it.
Whenthe new website was ready for testing I got an email from her that it was her who made the website... HER!! Fucking hell, no more of this please!1 -
When your boss doesn't appreciate your ideas and tells you to "go to hell". The worst part of his statement was "go to" :|2
-
Every single dev I know that struggles with English struggles with coding.
Gonna keep taking samples throughout the years.7 -
FUCK YOU!!! HOW CANT YOU SEE THAT EVERY TIME I SUGGEST TO SEPARATE OUR FUCKING WORKFLOW WITH FRONT END/BACK END AND TRY TO INTRODUCE AT LEAST SOME MANAGEMENT TO THIS SHIT HOLE ITS MY WAY OF SAYING: look dude, I like it here but fuck you shit face if I have to deal with this fucking CSS bullshit one more time there are going to be delays everywhere ...
Fuck you CSS.1 -
It would be great if you didn't change your changes after I implement them you fucking inconstant bitch...2
-
I fucking hate DLL mother fucking hell.
And fuck you Microsoft.SqlServer.BatchParser.dll
.
.
.
Kinda relief?
.
.
.
Nah.. I still got to resolve this issue.5 -
"You basically need a iOS and Android app, with access to the driver and also to the final client with an administrative environment and integration to pay online via the app"
- Uber like app request from a friend -
!rant
Omfg wtf is going on with bitcoin?
Don't know what makes me crazy about its growth in 2017: the fact that I have no money to buy some or the fact that when I have it might collapse ... Aaaargh9 -
So my coworker was trying to `npm install` after I recently installed Ubuntu on her machine and for some reason , I was doing something else, some jdk not being installed error popped on her screen.
She proceeded to have a mini freak out telling me that npm wasn't working because java wasn't installed and I started hysterically laughing in the middle of the office with my boss next to her staring at me... So I said firmly ( while laughing ):
"no bahuhaahah that's not hahahaha the case."
Still can't understand wtf she thinks happens with stuff in a computer... Cmon... -
For the fucking millionth time!!!
Backup != slave-master replication you dumb fuck...
What the fuck is so hard to understand after countless explanations using fucking drawings and shit?
Wtf dude...6 -
How hard can it be to convincente my fucking team to take unit testes seriously?
I'm gonna tell you: REALLY FUCKING HARD!!! TO EVEN CONSIDER START LOOKING WTF IT IS!!!
Cmon people... Improve your fucking selves once in a while... -
So.. There is this meeting today that 70% is gonna be nontechnical bullshit and I'm pretty sure I'm gonna be there thinking about anything but focusing on it....2
-
Damn, I'm fucking tired of this country...
"Want affordable electronics?
Well you can go uck your self"
Imagine paying 200 for a pi zero... And from a world wide reseller they don't ship here...
Want a notebook? How about getting 2 months worth of your full salary to pay for a medium one? Pretty good huh?
Globalization my ass.6 -
Looks like using another language to develop a separate process on the system is too much of a mind blow to my boss.
The look on his face when I tried to suggest such thing made me realize it will not be worth the time explaining the benefits of using the right tool for the job.1 -
Aaaah FUUUUUUCK!!!!!
As if I had nothing better to not nor deadlines I went on a mission to tweek my i3-wm installation with resulted in lightdm not starting... FML7 -
This started off as a rant but it soon grew way too large to fit in 5000 characters, so I had to take to my Medium blog instead.
Here, y'all, have a lesson in web design from hell.
https://medium.com/@linuswillner/...2 -
So we have this project that we are hosting on our testing server for presentation purposes ( already provisioning prod server ).
Our boss was presenting it to investors and my superior committed a bug there and was asking me help to figure out how to fix it (yeah.. he doesn't know how to checkout last commits in git... fml), and I realised the presentation might still be going on... so I asked: isn't boss showing it to investors?
superior: lol, idk maybe.
me: right... ( I proceed to roll back changes ) bye, have a good lunch.
And here I am having lunch considering my life choices. -
It was in old days when I was working in java and windows systems.
Java and different log4j versions across dependencies caused system not working only on production server.
Turned out some of libraries got log4j embedded and conflicted with other log4j.
It worked in all computers except production one.
Actually that was my main reason to switch my career to python after that dependency hell.
Another one was windows server 2008 tcp connection limit set to 200 or something.
We needed to change registry to get our servers working. After this case we finally managed to convince people to switch to linux.
Anyway any non standard error when you got multiple layers communicate with each other is hard, practice make it easier to solve those problems as your success moment comes faster.4 -
wtf boss!!!! Is it so hard to understand that having one column per year is a horrible bad practice?9
-
Fast quitz:
1. Desktops or Laptops?
2. Windows or Linux?
3. Coke or Pepsi?
4. Instant coffee or regular coffee?
5. Light theme or dark theme?
6. Tabs or spaces?
Let's the hell begin! 😈30 -
How hard can it be to refactor this 170 lines file?
- a single “data” variable used to store everything
- arrays inside arrays inside arrays (see prev point)
- operations with a lot of obscure sideEffects
- $data[] = something (which in magic php land means $data.enqueue()
Why is such… biological matter… even allowed to code? Fucker’s pretending they are a senior for four years: how in hell didn’t they learn to code in this timeframe?7 -
Colleague just factory reset the firewall....
- "I have just changed a firewall rule"
Motherfucker!!!!! Burn, burn in hell! -
What the fuck? Been trying to see rants all day long at work and at home and DevRant was super weird as if I wasnt connected, which I was...
Tested jsrant.com and the api was working...
Connected to a VPN on digital ocean and everything works flawlessly, dinconected from VPN and DevRant is off again...
Now on VPN... Wtf...5 -
Took a SWAG at stand-up this morning, saying I thought I could resolve a circular dependency introduced in a junior's branch by noon. As the morning dragged on, I became less and less certain of it, but lo! and behold I managed to refactor my way out of hell with 2 minutes to spare!
This calls for lunch beer! Which management has no way of stopping me from doing on a regular day due to remote working, but at least today I've convinced myself I earned it.1 -
How can I fucking plan a software AFTER I implement it??? People want to shit without eating first....1
-
So this stupid fuck whose react code is a clusterfuck of bugs just bashed me when I said Java is better then node because of reasons...
I was literally speechless while thinking if I should humiliate her or not.
Guess life will show her because I don't give a fuck. -
Sitting here in Brazil watching everyone getting their stickers and knowing it will take at least 4 months to receive mine... 😬😤😒😓😓😭😭9
-
We interviewed some candidates for a dev position some weeks ago and, knowing the environment isn't that challenging (at least for me) I voted against the better curriculums because I know they would be frustrated fast, I said that. But I didn't say it was because it's shit here... Of course.... I really just want the good devs to be better then they can be here.... What do you think?3
-
The company I work at acts on a field that I'm quite passionate about but what is frustrating me lately is the fact that people seem to acknowledge way more the programing skills of the leader of another non-dev team that has good ideas but isn't that well versed on the dark arts.
-
!rant; story(well, kinda)
I made it! Hell fucking fuck yeah! I made it, I made it, I made it! I passed all exams! See you in Prague, at ČVUT!(those who happen to study/live there or nearby)
life.setStatus("Winning!");1 -
What the fuck is a "pre test"? And why the fuck do you call it if there are no other tests after it? Get your shit together pm!!!!
-
I just can't believe in what state are the "leading" eCommerce systems. It just gives me depression and I'm totally desperate. :(
After 10-15 years one is xml hell, another is insane modules DIY administration, and the last one is bugy slugish mess. Try to guess which one is which.3 -
Was struggling with a NullPointerException that apeared on a test machine of a standalone spring boot app I'm developing...
5 hours latter I found the reason by accident....
The default session timeout was too low...
Increased that bitch to 10 hours and don't rely on session anymore to pass data... -
Working on a tiny new project, can't build DLL libraries from our old projects. Contain mixed version of .Net written in VB and C#
Asked our senior developer to help me out.
...
After an hour, he's still not able to build it.
...
So he basically implemented some features I needed on the fly...
😂
DLL hell is real! -
So my peers are making a hybrid android app and I'm managing the back end, at the start of the project I told them to publish it to the play store to test if it will pass any rules ( I assume there are automatic inspection or whatever) we are near the launching fase and we don't even have a dev account there yet...
-
I know there are a lot of “devs” out there who only feel responsible for the ‘code’ - but you aren’t.
You’re responsible for the end product too.
When you help build a steaming pile of shit - it’s your fucking fault. It’s not the boss’s fault - it’s everyone who let it happen’s fault.
These hell-holes like Kaiser Permanente and Covered California - and nearly all the government portals and the banks... and almost everything I can think of - are way past unacceptable. You are hurting everyone.
If you are putting these pieces of trash into the word: you need to rethink your life. If there is a hell, you are going there.
Wake the fuck up.
You’re going to have to use these things when you are older. Your kids will have to use them. Your parents will have to use them.
Set an example. Stop making horrible things that don’t work and hurt people.
Today.
Start changing - today.13 -
Why Microsoft, WHY???
Why the hell did you DISABLE remote archives in outlook 2016??? It worked in 2013, and you just killed it ?!?!1 -
I'm starting day three trying to solve a Dependency Hell issue which is preventing a bug fix being deployed.
Please help.4 -
php is so fucking great, every time I'm coding in php I'm astonished by the speed it goes from code to test. Unfortunately its the only benefit I see in using php.2
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So ok, today was a crazy day.
New sprint, new ticket.
Work on the bug tickets first he said ….
Sure can. Oh had I just known that this very first innocent looking ticket is the way to coder‘s hell ….
‚Access of undefined‘ it said. Easy to fix, I thought.
Until I found the very same code twenty-fucking-two times over about 50 files!
Who would guess that exportSingleOperatorBooking, exportSeveralOperatorBookings, exportAllOperatorBookings (… and more) could in practically be the same? Nah, they all use different interfaces.
Oh wait, the alias type of the extended sub-interface of file misc.ts is the same logical content as a differently named interface below another different interface with the same content as in another ts file?
Wait that can‘t be. Riiiiight?? 😳
8h later I have barely scratched the surface of refactoring this shitshow of a project.
But no, I refuse to put the same error handling multiple times in different places.
I could have been done already. I could have saved my soul, my sanity. But I will be brave and strong to save the innocent developer that will cometh after me. For I shall be rewardeth for my sacrifice.
Amen.8 -
confessions[0]
I got into hell and sinned there.
This was a few years back when I was getting into webdeb. I was working with WordPress at that time and a start-up asked me to help them build a website on WordPress through a mutal friend. That was my first WP site and it is a jungle of unorganized code. I didn't bother making a child theme, overwrote PHP files without documenting it and changed CSS in the orginal files. Instead of a child theme, I made a monster.
The worst part is, that site has never seen an update coz an update in WordPress would undo all my work. I should prolly burn the server the site is hosted on to purge my sins. -
Wtf google is that so hard to make it easy to wget/curl some files/folders from google drive? Wtf...2
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The deepest, darkest place in hell is reserved to the people who wrote the Drupal documentation.
Fucking cms hell. -
Strapi...
So much promise let down by poor documentation. Adding custom commands is not in the docs but is supported in the code.
Spent 2 weeks through trial and error trying to get custom commands written to import content and its been a pain in the ass.
When your documentation is written, give it out to novice or intermediate programmers with minimal exposure to your system. Note down their issues and improve the documentation.
Hell, why not add a form to submit feedback on the docs to a dedicated team of writers.
Anyone here good with Strapi who could assist?1 -
I'm following this fucking tutorial (https://blog.ssdnodes.com/blog/...) and everything goes well, I have docker running, docker compose installed properly, but when I start trying to create the docker-compose.yml and accessing the stupid site using the virtual host domain i set I can't it keep getting "503 Service Temporarily Unavailable" or "502 Bad gateway" what the hell am i doing wrong, I just want to get this working in my VM so i can move it to my damn server and have my own fucking cloud. This damn bullshit is exactly why i went into programming rather than dealing with configuring servers and bullshit like this i know it's outside my level of understanding but I really fucking want my own cloud system but I want it containerized for both isolation and learning purposes.
I have no idea what the hell i'm doing wrong and all the damn articles and links i'm reading aren't helping at all with my level of stupid not allowing me to understand what i'm doing wrong1 -
So I hooked gitlab pushes to show on slack channel... My coworkers don't have a clue about merge, commits, anything.... Sometimes looks like they have no clue about most of the things...
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!@#$#@%$!# YOU Internet Explorer.
Why do you make life so difficult- can't you just be like everyone else?
</rant>4 -
It makes my blood boil when my colleagues (who have been here for ages) know that maintaining dependencies in code is important but don't even action it because they give the excuse of having no time or the pressure of finishing it on time.
It angers me that I'm now in .dll hell and they don't even consider the time or push a valid case to fix the issue. It also frustrates me as I've realised that they have grown complacent/indifferent, not even attempting to change it.1 -
Fucking dto hell...
Dear C#/.NET developers or any other developers, do you have a fucking smart approach/technique to handle the fucktons of dto classes throughout your webapi and not having to go to 5 different classes if you change some validation attributes ??
Seriously, that is the only thing I like about JS. It just does not fucking care...
EDIT: This rant came across and just fits perfectly: https://devrant.com/rants/68633813 -
What in the holy hell is a pointer to function and function pointer.I guess they have a purpose, I hate their existence. It's solely because it is complicated13
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Spent an entire workday yesterday getting a project out of (unnecessary) dependency hell. Today it's actually still working. Imagine that.1
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Good Lord!
FP looks nice, feels right, scratches the itch when written well, but supporting, debugging and fixing/extending it is a fucking hell!
Well, it's either FP or TS/Node.4 -
First run of Android-Studio after installation on a new Pop-OS! machine -> START FAILED!
Welcome back to hell Francois!
How many devices running Java today? Only once on one machineI have understood !
It is largely enough to show how LAME! you have been GOGOLE (in French-> IDIOTS!) to have chosen the worse technology, already worse at the beginning of Android.
SCARY for the future!
2 -
Damn, I'm conducting some benchmarks on go and php...
A php page that simply returns "hi" with no framework is a lot slower than 1000 calls with 200 concurrency to a go function that queries redis and returns a json.1 -
Why the fuck do I have to wait more than 2 seconds to cancel a fucking FAILED PayPal transaction??? AND HAVE MY CREDIT BACK?!?! C'mon !!! ITS FUCKING 2016!!!
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Why the hell does NOBODY, including Apple, figure out, how USB-C is supposed to work? I'm tired of shifty half-assed implementations with some having no USB 3.1 (Apple), some not supporting current DisplayPort standards (Apple, Dell) or limiting the speed to USB2.0... *GAAAAH*
Future seems to suck pretty hard.3 -
When you sent a message to the customer starting with the word "hell" instead of "hello".
What a stupid buster!! -
We all have that one friend who can't code, but still made an entire rainmeter layout. Now he wants to show you his work. If that works, put it somewhere in a folder never to be found again and keep it out of my sight.
There is a hell, believe me I have seen it. -
So they built a ionic app for compatibility between android and iOS now they are gonna keep ionic for android and build from scratch with react native for iOS... Am I missing something? Is that right? Am I sleeping?
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Ok, which datacenter do I have to set fire to, in order to stop these FUCKING PROMOTIONAL SMS MESSAGES THAT I KEEP GETTING FROM MY FUCKING PHONE OPERATOR??
NOW I'M GETTING PUSH MESSAGES TOO?!? BURN IN HELL YOU FUCKING FUCKS!
I WILL BUILD A FUCKING ARSENAL OF FUCKING ROCKETS AND I'LL SHOVE THEM UP YOUR SHITTY ASS AND BLOW YOU UP IN SO MANY PIECES THAT EVEN AVOGADRO WON'T BE ABLE TO COUNT HOW MANY WILL BE LEFT OF YOU.
AND SPOILER ALERT: I ALREADY KNOW HOW TO BUILD ROCKETS, SO YOU BETTER START RUNNING4 -
If anyone complains one more time about "windows is built upon a DLL-Hell", i will challenge this specific anyone to implement react into an existing PHP-Project.
Installing matching package versions via npm is the real struggle.
Especially if you decide to be a node psycho who's delivering his react code via webpack.
*projectile vomiting in a straight beam of acid vomit*
Wasted a complete day of my life, dealing with Facebook's naughty shit.... -
Turns out composition over inheritance won't save you from downcast hell, it just becomes `_ => abort()` hell.4
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I have just witnessed hell given shape.
Imagine having react + redux
And finding component which just pass an argument to the children.
‘’’(children, param) => children(param)’’’ An argument which is stored in the store. Without even changing it. And it’s a standard around the codebase.
This is why we don’t deserve nice things. -
Damn it! I just spent an hour debugging something and it was due to a copy-paste error.
Copy paste hell. Bah. -
Ooh this project.. So I was put in charge of creating new pages, and general maintenance as the site was already built by a previous dev on the team before i joined the company. I take a look at the design, fairly strange forward quick analysis most of it bootstrapable, some custom code is needed for some parts so no issues there.
Looks at the code, only the bootstrap grid system is being used, the rest is custom code, an additional 9K lines of CSS and 526 lines of JS. What the hell is this.2 -
Originally I'm coming from Java , about 2 years ago, I switched Node with TypeScript and had a hard time getting accustomed to Promises. It was a big relief when I learned about async/await. Much cleaner code, no brainfuck anymore when thinking about how to handle stuff that requires multiple async values and so on.
Now I'm working on a clients project as a Java dev again. SOA, Spring Framework, Kafka and MongoDB, nothing too complicated... if they wouldn't use reactor to bring reactive functionalities to Java.
It feels like I'm back in Promise Hell...2 -
Ugh trying to refactor a Node.js MUD codebase to use mongodb. It currently accesses/stores it's data in json files via synchronous FS operations. Callback and/or .then hell, here I come!
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Fucking Apples hold my bananas! Collegue and me see our naïve thought refuted that a commercial vendor, most valuable company would create an OS that is not as split and fucked up as Linux distros.
It is hard even where to begin, so deep is the shitfest they are putting developers through with Mojave and Catalina.
Our testers weren't hardly able to install Catalina beta 6-7. Behavior of kernel extension and full disk access varying on a daily basis. Fixing these bugs is like nailing a pudding to the wall.
Makes me wanna quit software. Whom should you trust if even your OS is flaky as hell?8 -
It can't be as simple as comparing geocoded locations. It just can't be there has to be other factors as well I have data for and can use as well. It cant be this easy what the hell am I missing
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That moment when you are scrolling DevRant and your wife just doesn't shut the f up and your are raging inside but you love her and are as calm as Dalai Lama on the outside.
Yes love, of course (Just let me read !!! wtf!!!) 😂😂😂😂3 -
This is my hell right now.
Android Jetpack compose Instrumentation test with koin di, mockito, coil in a module with 20 other modules.
"Cannot mock/spy coil imagerequest"
Whats yours?1 -
Merging two months of work from one SVN branch to another without touching the trunk. I now know what the 16th level of hell is.1
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