1st year:"I just want to do computer science coz I heard there's a lot of money in it."

Me: "Oooh! So I won't be seeing you next semester"

my thoughts on git

Boss: Everyone should want to be a 10x developer.
Me:

When PM don't listen, no fuks was given by us devs.

Define Programming??

Yes, It works on my machine...

I need to focus on work..........
ENGAGE TUNNEL VISION

For the last f***ing time, computer science engineer DOESN'T mean I repair computers!!!

programmers pickup lines

So I'm a UX Designer and my husband is a Mobile Engineer so obviously he makes more. I swear my field doesn't get enough credit it deserves (considering we're the ones figuring how the user will use the app/site/whatever device). My mother in-law decided my work isn't as important as his and that I stand below him. Gee thanks for the biggest insult, even when I had to go to grad school for 2 years, worked full-time at the same time so that we could help his family with some stuff considering we're the only couple who is capable of it. :/

"I wish I could browse devRant at work"

Well wish no more!

http://www.jsrant.com/

@dfox will I have my third entry on the projects page? 😇

I had an idiot as my boss once. The guy was a principal architect at the time, and thought it would be a good idea to demonstrate his/our project to the entire org in an auditorium. The project inclined turning the User's phone as the entertainment unit in the car. He spoke of all the bells and whistles, about how you can listen to music, watch videos while in the car. A guy expressed his concern about the cost and availability of 3g/4g data in India, our target market. He blatantly dismissed the concern claiming one doesn't use data while watching videos, as you aren't downloading or saving anything. If you save the video offline only then you consume data. I have never seen a group of 200 odd people grow silent that quick. People looking around uncomfortably. And then this ass goes, "My team is sitting back there. Reach out to them if you have any doubts.."

I sunk in my seat as low as I possibly could without falling down

There is nothing quite as satisfying as when you solve a bug that you've been working on for literally the entire day

Had to go so bad! Held off until bug was fixed. 😂

Crappy Kryptonian SysAdmins

Client asked me to complete the job as fast as I can and, here I am, waiting for the review of the latest version for the past 2 WEEKS.

Good thing, she paid up the entire amount beforehand. *Rubs hands in glee*

The Dev Rhapsody

devRant, why you sucking away my data plan?

C++11:

Compiles and prints on gcc 5.3.0.
Compiles but won't print on gcc 5.3.1.

WTF!

Friend: I have a idea that will make us millions!
Me: okay, what is it?
Friend: oh its very simple, what I need you to do is build a payment gateway that supports X billing platforms, Y security protocols, crash proof, blah blah blah... Should be done in a week right?

Coolest project I ever worked on was an anonymous ranting website called NightOwl. It was loginless, yet had sessions. you could open the website and start posting stuff, follow people, close the website, shutdown the laptop for a year and then open the website again and still get everyrbing back.

when you check devrant before facebook after getting up 😄 u know u r on right track