Client : How much for the project?
Me : $10,000
Client : I will give you $72.

The week before project deadline...

A young Programmer and his Project Manager board a train headed through the mountains on its way to Wichita. They can find no place to sit except for two seats right across the aisle from a young woman and her grandmother. After a while, it is obvious that the young woman and the young programmer are interested in each other, because they are giving each other looks. Soon the train passes into a tunnel and it is pitch black. There is a sound of a kiss followed by the sound of a slap. When the train emerges from the tunnel, the four sit there without saying a word. The grandmother is thinking to herself, "It was very brash for that young man to kiss my granddaughter, but I'm glad she slapped him." The Project manager is sitting there thinking, "I didn't know the young tech was brave enough to kiss the girl, but I sure wish she hadn't missed him when she slapped me!" The young woman was sitting and thinking, "I'm glad the guy kissed me, but I wish my grandmother had not slapped him!" The young programmer sat there with a satisfied smile on his face. He thought to himself, "Life is good. How often does a guy have the chance to kiss a beautiful girl and slap his Project manager all at the same time!"

A man goes inside a pet shop and starts to move around the cages to scout the pets. He sees a monkey with a price of 5000$ and goes to the merchant to ask for details. Hey mister, the monkey…what does it know to worth that much money? Well, it knows Windows 95, 98, 2000, and also knows Word, C++, Visual Basic and last but not least, it knows how to play computer games. - Good monkey, it's worth the money. He goes and finds another monkey with a price of 10000$ and again he will ask the merchant. "What does this monkey know?" "It knows Linux, Unix, Corel and Autocad." "Nice, even I don't know those things." On a last scout run he finds another monkey just sitting there with a price 20000$. The story repeats, and he goes with a lack of confidence to ask the merchant for details. "And what does this monkey do for that ridiculous amount of money?" "I never saw her doing anything, but the other two call her Project Manager!"

When you are the one who does all the work in a group project.

A project manager 😂

Compiling empty project

When the PM gives you the project estimates...

"You will get a month to finish this project."

"I will be honest and give you are a realistic deadline. It will take about 2 months."

"But ${random} company told me they will take one month."

"As you can see from your previous project, they will say one month and will drag it to two-three months by making excuses"

"No, I don't think you are good enough for it. I will pass it to them."

"..."

When boss tries to look smart and gives you advice about the project you wrote:

Completed a project for my final year CS degree and my professor rejected saying it is of very few lines of code.Hope he learns to evaluate projects on complexity and logic rather than number of lines of code. :/

Hardest part of starting a project: Picking a name.

Project manager

Project management

Am I the only dumb fuck who can't think of a project idea?

I finally get in the mood to work on my side project and GUESS WHAT? THE API IM USING FOR IT IS FUCKING DOWN 😂🔫

!rant

A: "Hi, I'm A, I'm the CEO of X, we had this project I'd like you to do for me"
Me: "Hi, can I have more details about the project?"
A: "Ah yes, this is some kind of e-commerce for our start-up, we need you to do a web app, iOS, and Android app in 1 month"
Me: "OK we can do it in 2 month."
A: "OK we'll let you know our decision tomorrow"

(next month)
A: "Sorry we have to postpone this project"

(next 5 month)
A: "Hi! now I'm building this Y start-up and we need you to help us migrate our android app to web"
Me: (Looks feasible than his last project) "OK, I can do it"
A: "Can we meet tomorrow?"
Me: "OK"
(tomorrow)
Me: "Hello? where will we meet?"
Me: "?"

(next month)
A: "Hi! Sorry for not replying, can we meet this week for the Y project?"
Me: (...)

Project Status Life Cycle... Lol :)

@bdriesen in response to someone's side project post

Personal project coding cycle:

- Because to many libs, too many ways, to many choices

Is just mine or every project manager thinks that developers are magicians and can actually develop stuff in a very unrealistic timeline.?

"Everyone must attend this meeting. It's really important that you all attend".

Me: *walks into meeting with other co-workers

Host: So what should we discuss today?

Co-worker 1: We can discuss how we did on the recently completed project.

Host: We'll save that for next meeting.

Co-worker 2: Any strategic plans for upcoming project?

Host: That too, for next meeting.

Me: Black Panther.

Host: That was actually a great movie. I saw it over the weekend. Who else saw it? ....

Me (in my thoughts): Just wow! 😂

PS: I still haven't seen that movie.

A friend of mine is creating a website for our school project and the website is getting to look worse and worse.
Here is a picture he sent me today.

A project is never done... It's just pushed to production

Our project manager who also happens to be our web designer... (Start Up)

Project Manager: We have a go signal. Go convert this design to html and css. And make it responsive.

Me: Can you forward me the mail so I can check if it's actually approved?

Project Manager: Just do it.

Me: (After tweaking) There. It's done.

Project Manager: They want to change all the layout of the site. We're gonna do it from scratch. They didn't like the design.

Me: What? I thought your design was approved?

Project Manager: I thought so too. But i'm your PM so get back to work.

There was no mail from the client.

FUCKING PROJECT MANAGERS.

FOR THE LAST TIME, YOUR ALTERNATIVE IS UNUSABLE As explained the original proposal, and in comments THAT YOU FUCKING REPLIED TO AND AGREED WITH, the thing you want to use WILL NOT WORK. WHY ARE YOU SUGGESTING IT AGAIN?

FUCK YOU, YOU HAIRY-ARSED TWERP.

Also, dfox can we please have fucking anonymous rants!

Deconstructed Wall-E?
Nope. My project for final semester of engineering.

Boss: Here's the next project that I would you to start immediately.
Me: So the client wants <Application Name>
Boss: Yes and it's due on Friday after 2 weeks.
Me: Yes can be done. By what time today you can give me the requirements.
Boss: Not today, I will give you the requirements next week Friday.
Me: So I should start the project next week Friday.
Boss: You have to start the project today
Me: Start with what? There is no requirement. Excuse me, I need a break.

I'm a computer sciences student, so I had to work on a group project at the end of the year. This project had a very big impact on our ratings, and many students were working really hard on it
One evening, a friend of mine knocked at my door to seek for help, she was too depressed to keep working on the project and needed to talk a little bit
After a little talk, we worked on her part of the project together. We managed to finish it just in time and send it to her teammate (they were not using git, our school never ever talked about it so they did not know what it is)

The next day was the d-day, every group had to show the teachers their projects
I arrived in a room where everyone was trying to fix the remaining bugs before their turn
And I saw my friend, almost crying. Her mate changed everything in the code we worked on and everything broke. There was not enough time to merge it again, they were stuck with a non functionnal soft
Obviously, he kept telling everybody it was her fault

Just go to hell, you fucker
I can't even understand how you did have such a stupid idea, now she needs to repeat her year because of you
Fuck you and don't ever come in my sight again, you selfish brat
Just because you know you will pass does not give you the right to fuck with another person's ratings

Python and a cup of Earl Gray Tea and I feel like captain Picard commanding the Enterprise. The dark theme of the IDE helps, too.

Welcome new side project.

When you almost finished a cool project and then they said: we can put it on hold...

When my project manager say i'm lazy because I can't finish the project..

I actually completed a personal project with proper documentation and published it on GitHub. That doesn't happen too often!

Project Management in a nutshell.

My favorite thing about completing a project is closing a bazillion browser tabs.

This is what the specs for our newest project look like. FML.

Really found this type of students when I was finding someone to collab with me for final year project

Had a final year project defence today in university. There were about 15 CS teachers in the room.
Our project was "Crypto Currency". After all the presentation was finish.

Teachers: so what is this blockchain?

** explained all about it and how it works with marker in a whiteboard **

While most of the projects were rejected and they have asked several cross questions to other friends, they didnt even ask any question to us and said our project is accepted.

Turns out teachers were taught by a student today, feels so good 😎 😂

What Keeps u awake all night
(When u have to complete a project overnight)
1. Cigarette?
2.Weed?
3. Coffee?
4. Tea?
5. Redbull?
6. Beer?
7. Glucose? (As in my case 😛)
8. Anything else?

Wore a suit to work.
Feels like a project manager.

Didn't open the IDE.

Just did 70% of the job for a software project in college, only to get the least grade of the group because others were more vocal during the presentation.

The thing that irritates me is that not only did they assume that they can take part credit for my work, they cared more about 5%of a semester grade than their own self respect.

No hard feelings though, because even though I got lesser marks(about 2-3 marks lesser), I gained the most knowledge in the group, which is what matters

Juste design a new algorithm to evaluate the chance of a project (any kind of project) will exceed the budget (time of cost). This algorithm been proven to be right almost all the time.

had a project manager who was heavily religious.

any time he would give me impossible deadlines and I explained why that cant be done he always said "god will find a way"

When the project development finishes and client gives changes.

Project now in production. Client is very satisfied and happy with the results. So tonight I will have a few beers to celebrate! Cheers friends!

!Rant
This is what my project looks like. 😁
End result:
Remote Surveillance System.

A woman can make 4 babies with 4 different fathers in 9 months, right?

Someone decided we need a "rubber band programmer" who bounces around from project to project as needed, and that gets to be me.

So I work on 4 projects, with 3 programming languages, 4 frameworks, and with users in 4 complicated industries, none of which I have experience with.

And my boss wonders why I'm not as productive as everyone who has worked on 1 project for 5 years.

Who has an "Testing Stuff" Project?

Really, every project starts the same - exactly the same:

git init

Starting a new project tonight to help fellow teachers! First time actually using Github as well.... Interesting although I found it hard to get my head around!

This is something that happened 2 years ago.

1st year at uni, comp sci.

Already got project to make some app for the univ that runs in android, along with the server

I thought, omg, this is awesome! First year and already got something to offer for the university 😅
(it's a new university, at the time I was the 2nd batch)

Team of 12, we know our stuffs, from the programming POV, at least, but we know nothing about dealing with client.

We got a decent pay, we got our computers upgraded for free, and we even got phones of different screen sizes to test out our apps on.

No user requirement, just 2-3 meetings. We were very naive back then.

2 weeks into development, Project manager issues requirement changes

we have a meeting again, discussing the important detail regarding the business model. Apparently even the univ side hadn't figure it out.

1 month in the development, the project manager left to middle east to pursue doctoral degree

we were left with "just do what you want, as long as it works"

Our projects are due to be done in 3 months. We had issues with the payment, we don't get paid until after everything's done. Yet the worse thing is, we complied.

Month 3, turns out we need to present our app to some other guy in the management who apparently owns all the money. He's pleased, but yet, issued some more changes. We didn't even know that we needed to make dashboard at that time.

The project was extended by one month. We did all the things required, but only got the payment for 3 months.

Couldn't really ask for the payment of the fourth month since apparently now the univ is having some 'financial issues'.

And above all: Our program weren't even tested, let alone being used, since they haven't even 'upgraded' the university such that people would need to use our program as previously planned.

Well, there's nothing to be done right now, but at least I've learned some REALLY valuable lesson:

1. User Requirement is a MUST! Have them sign it afterwards, and never do any work until then. This way, change of requirements could be rejected, or at least postponed

2. Code convention is a MUST! We have our code, in the end, written in English and Indonesian, which causes confusion. Furthermore, some settle to underscore when naming things, while other chooses camel case.

3. Don't give everyone write access to repository. Have them pull their own, and make PR later on. At least this way, they are forced to fix their changes when it doesn't meet the code convention.

4. Yell at EVERYONE who use cryptic git commit message. Some of my team uses JUST EMOTICONS for the commit message. At this point, even "fixes stuffs" sound better.

Well, that's for my rant. Thanks for reading through it. I wish some of you could actually benefit from it, especially if you're about to take on your first project.

Programming is a lot like playing video games. It challenges you to beat quests/tasks and hunt enemy bugs while providing boss levels in the form of large projects with tight deadlines and project managers who like to move the goal posts.

Client A: "I understand that we need to extend the due date for the project, but why we need pay extra for that?"

Me: "Because my people and I need money to survive as well...."

When client want a huge project with low budget

Have you ever been so alone on a project that even if everything seems easy, you don't want to work on it because nobody cares about it?

*gets back home from work*
Yeah, I'm gonna work on that side project I started a while ago! I feel so excited!
*opens up computer, clicks on Witcher 3*

That moment when you get a great idea for a side project, and you know you don't have the needed skills yet, but you don't care 'cause it just means you're gonna have to learn more... just awesome 😍

1. Comes up with a project idea.
2. Doesn't have enough friends who code to collaborate said idea with.

3. Abadons project.

All in that order. lol
I just want to build cool stuff. :(

Alright I get the importance of project planning but having a Sprint meeting at 7am is just insane.

When you can't find the time to start a side project! Grrr!

!rant

Another night of progress :) Finished the category page functionality on my cms project for now. Gotta keep at it!

1. have an exciting app idea
2. create project folder
3. include WebPack

…

47. lose all passion for project and give up

GOTO 1

After being inspired by the other devRant projects, I started creating my very first android-related project of my own: Viewing rants on my Moto 360 when I'm in a boring meeting

Documenting school project with my debug guy

I am being asked to support Internet Explorer 8 on this project I am wrapping up. The front-end has been developed using AngularJS 2.

Every college project gets to the "fuck it, I'm submitting this crap" stage.

When you have a "GREAT" idea, start to work on it and after 2 hours you have forgot why you have started the project.

Me right now 😖

Sorry for my bad english 😓

My first real web project was in my senior year of college.

It was a hacker rank clone. And supported a bunch of languages. It was a fun project.

Others created a static website.
And guess what? they got the same grade as I did.
Fml

!rant

Wanted to share a project with you, which I heard about at a Python Conference I attended.

It's a Raspberry based Hacking Station to educate and sensitize students about data privacy. The amazing thing about the project is, that it is a graduation project from a high school student.

If you're interested, check out spypi.ch

This is not an ad or something, I was just amazed by the talk and the idea of the project and wanted to share it with you.

*receives email about project*

*turns around*

PM: "Hey I just sent you an email about a project"

No. Fucking. Shit.

One of the worst thing :
Start a new project...
Have almost done everything...
See that someone else has done the same kind of app but... His is much better...

I'm starting a side project. This time I'm totally gonna finish it. For real. 14th time's the charm, right?

When your project manager calls you more than your girlfriend :|

Boss: "Sooo.... How long will it take?"

Me: "Maybe we should agree on some processes and specify your wishes for the new feature first?"

Boss: "Yeah you're right.... But what do you think? Will you get it done til $deadline?"

...

Why am I even trying? Who needs project management anyway?

devRant collaboration project - a lot of us are thinking of doing a project or projects in the future. I am sure some valuable partnerships will be forged.

My desire is to do something that can make a positive impact in people's lives. Possibly to help people with special needs.

I am thinking about code that extends into the physical world - an Internet of Things project sort of a devThing.

Brainstorming a bit deeper - maybe a mashup of off the shelf components - maybe using Raspberry Pi or the $5 Raspberry Pi. Keep it low cost so everyone can afford it. As an aside CubeSats powered by RP's are being used in outer space saving a great deal of money and providing value.

The great thing is devRant has great coders, graphic design, ux, Raspberry Pi (or similar miniaturization), public relations to get the word out...

I have some examples we can use for inspiration. Let's keep building on this.

when youre in the middle of a project then you suddenly get the urge to write a neural network that can do nlp to find suitable puns.

😩😩😩

Anybody else know that horrible feeling when you're 2 weeks and 1000 lines of spaghetti into what started as a 2 day 200 line side project that was supposed to make your main project better, but has now become it's own life consuming beast?

Found this in my Software Project Management textbook. Seems right.

Project Manager comments on all my on-going tickets "any updates?"

And the project manager gets awarded "most productive"

While the tickets I've been assigned can't be closed in just a day

smh

Have you ever been in a situation where you want to start a new project, but have no idea what it should be.

Reasons why my personal project failed:

1. No target, or the target is "creating perfect software", and you make a lot of optimization before building anyhing

2. No deadline

3. Someone has built something better on github.

Give comments if you believe there are other things that make your personal project failed.

Isn't it great when you start a project with nothing but dedication and enthusiasm to have it ruined by someone that just doesn't care and proceeds to shit on everything you have worked for.

Saw conjuring 2 yesterday, not impressed. My project has more daemons than the film and they don't go away just by calling their name 😕

Project vs implementation

People know that things are getting serious when you open up a new twitter account for your personal project.

I just discovered that a couple rants here talked about an open source project of mine 😍

Also, they were !rants 😄

Thanks for appreciating it! 😄

when a project manager asks for an effort calculation due to changed requirements, but the calculation itself takes longer than the implementation would...

Hello New Spring Framework project.

When you are working on a small project that is ~500 lines of code, but you have 27mb of node modules

OCD and multiple developers on a project never go hand in hand

*Felling happy*

Just started documenting my project.

FINALLY after 48 hours coding. 1000 lines of algorythms ....

Managed to sync video playback on 30 Machines, didnt go to work "sick".

All this for a side project.
Doesnt possibly work they said....

Microsoft Project and SharePoint, I FUCKING HATE YOU TWO!!! Why you can't get along? You share the same creator for fucks sake!!!

My Project Manager to me, after attending his first ever Hackathon of life

PM : Did you see, how people create a full project in a day,
So it is POSSIBLE and here you always complain about the deadlines

Me : Yeah true :|
Of Course it is possible to create a well documented, bugs free, features enriched, stable and properly structured project in a day
My Bad :/

When ur company appreciates and rewards for the hard work and late nights spent finishing a huge project before deadline... Feels good...

A project manager is someone who believes that if he/she joins 9 pregnant women they'll have a child in 1 month

Just got a new raspberry pi😊
some ideas for first project?

That moment when you have an idea for a project and you spend all your time on setting up the environment, then your realize it is a stupid idea.

my coolest project is one i am currently working on. its my 12 month old daughter. She challenges me everyday and gives me enough kicking to find the best solutions for all my other projects. every developer should have this muse.

Can't work on a project cause I need to study for an exam.
Can't study cause I keep thinking about the project.

FUCK!

My dream project is to create "The Machine" just like Finch did in Person of interest or to create the WestWorld Droids.

I'm four months in my new job and I've done 5 days worth of coding. There aren't much projects coming to our office nowadays so I'm being paid just to log my hours.

Any of the ranters here have any small project ideas I can make to pass the time?

I've literally run out of things to make.

Someone needs to make a site that generates cool project names because I swear it's the hardest decision to make.

Group project help me understand why Batman works alone 😡😡😡

Waking up after 4 hours of sleep with a headache because you wanted to finish your project.

When the project manager is taking your share of the credit..

Q: How many management consultants does it take to finish a project specification?
A: Infinite. And this is not even funny.

This is how my Project Manager introduced Design guy to the client
"my buddy, great friend and a kickass coding ninja"

And how he introduced a full stack developer
"he knows coding too"

The fuck :||

We are a small team of 4 web developers, we handle 20+ websites including sites in which we're only responsible for maintaining. And now I heard that they'll add 3 more projects and the boss say "this will be important!, So we need to focus" apparently every project we're handling is "important" to him. My co workers are resigning because of this madness. Not to mention that we're also (sometimes) doing what a web developer should do, like marketing etc. How's your company's project management? Mine? Shitty af.

The hardest part of starting a new project is finding a name for it!! FFS && FML.
How do you all name your's?

So now Github has their project feature and Bitbucket has integrated Trello [beta].

Any of you guys using those features?

How do you handle your ToDos/tasks?

The company hired a Senior Project Manager (SPM) and two months in we had the following conversation:

SPM: Hey, go talk to the project stakeholders and get the requirements for the project.

Me: Uhm, isn't the PM supposed to go and gather the requirements?

SPM: I'll go check with the stakeholders. We don't have a PM :)

Me: You are the SPM... Which is the same thing?

SPM: hmmm... I'll go ask them and get back to you.

GFG, you've been here for two months, are supposed to be a senior with many years under your belt as a PM and yet know nothing about your job. You don't even know that you're a PM.

Just finished a project a bit late, like only 6 months... I think it's fine.

Its so frustrating when your co-worker whines about project issues in the washroom :|

Let me fuckin pee first motherfu... :/

The shorter the time a project is needed, the more expensive it should be charged

Project managers who distribute a task instruction like "add button on page x" into 20 ticket comments (each minimum 1000 chars), 1 pdf from the client, 2 unrelated tl;dr confluence pages, 3 lengthy bullshit management emails (at least 5 people in cc) and end up sending chat messages every hour...

Having a great idea for a personal project but being stuck at a family gathering -.-'

Why can't I just enjoy my weekend like a normal person for once? Instead I can't help but work on a side project because I know I won't sleep tonight if I don't!

When your Project Manager tries to find Grammar and Spelling errors in your code comments, since he couldn't find any other issues

Are you fuckin kiddin me motherfucker.. :|||

Fuckin grammarShitPMNazi

That moment when your project manager says to the client "That is clearly possible". After that he asks you if that is in fact possible to do, you say: "is possible with major limitations" and then he understand they screwed up but in the end the one that is screwed up is you.

My project just went from "we can use one of those arduino boards, they are cheap and easy to use" to "we need a mass storage solution for that, maybe we can buy a shipping container and put it down on a nearby field as an on site storage". I love the things I would do if I had the resources for this kind of project!

Me in teacher office : for this course i want create awesome project.

Teacher : ok. I suggest you build something like uber.

Me : o_O

Teacher :I believe you.
you can totally handle it

Me : plzzz...as you lift me up, my fall will become more painful
I don't build it

[Unfortunately, that project was imposed on me and whenever I think of the scale of the project i look like this: ]

Which should be my next project?

- app for organising secret santas.
- app for organising feedback on projects.
- app for creating a hosted change log.
- app for weddings not just focused on the day but the entire process.

Let me know your thoughts

That hangover you get after working on a personal project all night long, having less than an hour of sleep before your actual work day begins..

This happened in my engineering days.

Second semester of my engineering, intro to computer science.

Topic on computer virus

Professor : "Examples of virus are videogames."

Me : *Screaming internally.

FYI, this "professor" has a PhD in computer science.

Fast forwarding to the final semester. We were supposed to present our project.
Unfortunately this professor was our mentor for the project work.

I was dedicated to this project. I was working on this for 10 hours a day. We were supposed to show the progress of our project to our mentor in four project reviews for the entire semester before presenting it in the final exam.

On the first review of the project, he started asking questions which are completely unrelated to the project, asking us to implement features which will take a lot of time and completely unnecessary. Basically, he didn't understood the project at all. On top of that he was shouting on us instead of pointing out the errors and the areas of improvement on the project.

And then I thought " Why am I busting my ass on this project for this idiot?"

Got demotivated, and started working on my side projects.

For the next reviews, got similar project off the internet, presented the same thing for the reviews and in the final exam. Got an A grade.

Honestly, I don't understand how these people get their PhDs and become professors in colleges and universities.

Started using Trello to track project detail and overall whiteboard my project list. Made a list called "Top 5" and shared the board with my boss so her could keep track with me. After our first meeting using Trello, I walked out with 7 items in my top 5. Here's to hoping there visual aid will help him realize there's a problem.

Here's my flow:

1. Sit at my desk and contemplate the Universe
2. Sort out specifics by pacing back and forward
3. Draw like a mad man
4. Copy an old project and change a few lines of code
5. Go home happy that the Universe is safe once again

;)

Just opened a month old android studio project and now I'm wondering what the hell is going on. And later realize the importance of comments. :-(

me realizing that I will be a part of a crappy project

So I started to write a small script that my boss asked me to do.
I thought I will be able to do the job simple in just one file.
after 5 days, mostly researching and writing like 10 important functions I gave up the idea of being easy and I configured it as a project.
Feels so smooth now.

Still working on a new Project!

Just finished my first project where I built a page with Angular, hosted it with Node/Express (locally), and pulled info from an API to display c: Feels good that I could even do it, even if it took hours of googling and tutorial to kick me in the right direction.

The whiskey didn't hurt either.

"We have a new project for you".

"It's written in Java".

"Don't worry I used to be a programmer, I'm a cool project manager"

...Scariest words I've herd in a long time

When your new project hits the tipping point and begins helping people- priceless.

Project managers never ask Chuck Norris for estimations…ever.

So we made a "modern" version of breakout for a school project. And I actually thinks it looks really cool.
If you guys want to check it out or give some feedback.
Spaceout.me :) hope you like it
And happy holidays

Sometimes you have to deal with the fact that you're smarter than your project manager.

That sweet feeling when the project is over and you can finally close all the 99+ tabs on the browser.
Feeling so happy right now! :)

feel stupid bcoz you underestimated the time to complete the project, feel even more stupid when you do it again and again

Just got my first paycheck. Felt amazing tbh. Proceeded to make a little Python project to help me with high precision budgeting and budget analysis. So, any grad students here who invest and/or save half of their paycheck and use their own code to help them do it?

Giving up on a side project

Just finished a side project, now I know how suck my programming skill is, because most of the time I was copy pasting the code from my previous side projects. Lol!

That bad feeling when you leave a project aside for a few weeks and then when you finally decide to continue it you don't understand the code you wrote...
I'm searching a solution for something I already solved once again. FUCK!

Can't someone just write some sort of Programm that gets project adjectives as input and outputs some nice project names. That would be super awesome. How do you create your project names?

When you have to build a startup product using enterprise project management methodologies, and corporate practices.

R.I.P Agile

Am I the only one who is working on a different project every day? And they're not small projects. All medium sized e-commerce sites (Magento 1&2) with tons of custom made functionality.

Soooo counter productive...

For some reason our PM's think it's the most efficient way to do it this way, even though we said numerous times it causes the opposite result. Having to switch to a different project every day and constantly picking up where you left a week ago is so frustrating...

My fellow devRanters, I am bored and I need a project to work on. Do you have any ideas? (machine learning preferred, but anything goes)

Does anyone else have those little bouts of creativity and interest where you work on a project of your own 24/7, and then when you finish it you don't know what to do for the next however long?

Wish my 3 project managers would realize when everything is a P1, nothing is.

when the project manager asks you if you have an ETA on the project you're trying to finish because deadline is a few hours. You have never done the thing you're trying to complete before so you have no baseline for it and they know that.... nope but you'll be the 2nd person to know when it's done, maybe next time don't promise deadlines without consulting the devs?

Rant

I was given a project to lead and develop with 2 other team members by the co-founder, I was told that I will need to deliver an initial demo within 30 days, 20 days in the project and I was told yesterday that they need a final release ready within the next 10 days !! Not just that but the co founder decided to assign one of my team members to another project!!!

I've worked today till 4am.

Guess who's working from home in the morning!

When your project manager pisses you off so much, you could punch a baby or drown a puppy....

You guys ever have to explain whole project to another employee because you are the only one that know and worked on this project.
Worst thing is that guy is not even a programmer and I have to teach him c# first 😤 I'm soo angry

A colleague of mine had a 'great idea' and started a crowdfunding project on kickstarter;
A microblogging application to host on your own server. The max amount of characters per message was 140.
The prototype was even built on bootstrap!
Such a original idea!!

Tmw your side project makes it to the front page of HackerNews and then to the top 😃

This is really nice positive reinforcement 😅

Just downloading the CM Source code right now. I'm really excited and nervous because I never tackled such a big project on my own.
Wish me Luck guys! :)

When your boss asks you to work from home, because you can concentrate more on the big project you're working on and ignore support requests and other clients... then he just Skypes and emails you anyway cause everything needs doing today 😢😭

Hey devs,
I'm really bad at personal project idea generation.

So, do you have any good Python project ideas?

PS. Wanna light up my github chart again.
(aaand to put it in my CV of course)

Due to resource scarcity, my manager Bob had lent me to other manager John. I started working on John's project and now there is a hardcore dependency on me, as I have done good enough work on it. I was also taking some small work items from Bob parallely so I can be up-to-date with my own team, Later Bob calls me and says he wants me back, since my own team has lot of pending tasks. John's project is still unfinished and will take longer then ever. So far, I am dividing my time between the two teams.

My concern is if I pass on John's project, will I even get recognized for it and since John will have no one concrete to work on his project, he will later keep bugging me for help.

And I feel like I don't belong to either of the teams (I am like a step son to both my parents) 😔

I hate rushing on a project that needs done the same day and then gets put on hold for a week or longer. I rushed because...?

If you are the lead developer on a big project, and you want your developers to not hate everything about this project, for the love of God please at least have a build server (it doesn't even have to run tests) and make sure your constant screwing around with Maven doesn't break the build for everyone else.

So, we're apparently going to build a sort of social media(with competitions) for our software engineering project. I thought of a productivity app that would follow the GTD methodology (with my own additions), but my team mates thought my idea wasn't big enough for a team of 10. One claimed that he would do it all by himself in a week/month(Don't know what he said). Oh, well. Anyways, I'm going to build that software as a side project with a friend or two. I hope that goes well..

PS. We need a team name. Any suggestions?
I thought of Team Sudo lol.. No one liked it..

Gotta love that 'side project' 😆

My project is like...

"Everyday is Production Day"

When you are hearing your consciousness that you should start doing your personal project before someone else does that.

Here to represent project managers.
Who was saying what about us?!

Talk now or forever hold your peace!

Me: there are a lot of memory leaks in my application i should do something
Inner me : teacher does know that, submit the project

My new project is not getting popular... I'm sad because I've spent a lot of time thinking about it and creating it and it's bothersome that it isn't appreciated.

Does anybody has an idea what to "code" when you have too much free time? I am done with school and waiting for my university acceptance. No Websites.

TL;DR
Project ideas?

Project is dammed, is broken, we complain about it for almost 3 months, daily, code is old and client is full of bad practices and is always searching for a way to blame us for his failure.
Administration decides that best solution is motivate meditation techniques on dev team

Am I the only one that has a problem with meeting his friends after working on a big project 24/7 for weeks without social interaction? What are emotions? What would a normal human beeing response to that topic?

Probably joining my first real project. Truly no amount of university education can prepare you for the sheer scale and complexity of an enterprise software project. 100+ git repos, 5 different services running just to run the project locally, with tunnels open to 2 different DBs. It was daunting to touch anything.

I'd love to start a pet project, but my brain refuses to come up with an idea. 😑
At least I'm used to it, seems like my creativity is not existent.

Final day on this project, tonight I'll get drunk to forget about the backlog since client didn't hire me longer ( consultant).

I hate leaving unfinished code.

Monday I start my next project, which is refactoring. .Net code to .net core.

Here is to hoping it doesn't rely too much on unsupported 3rd party libraries.

Cheers fellow devs, have a good weekend.

The best way to learn something imo is starting a project
I used to start small projects for that but now im doing my biggest project with laravel now its 90% done

Telling my friend about a side project I was doing in Zf3, he says "why not do it In dot net core for a change"...

Fuck sake now I want to build it in dot net.
Goddammit.

How do you guys prevent burnout when working on a side-project? I'm probably not the only one here, with multiple unfinished projects.

Just finished my first microservice project. I'm so happy that I was able to do that hardest thing I ever did. It's just a side project but I think it will do well on my cv as I will be finishing university next year.
Just wanted to share this with you guys as all the rants really helped me to calm down when I was wrecking my head over some weird bugs.

Soo.... when does devRant go from Fight Club to Project Mayhem? Will we have to stand outside of @dfox and @trogus's apartment for 3 days?

Just done with The Phoenix Project. Amazing book, I got if as an ebook. Wouldn’t mind more books similar to that style

First time coding in a team for a larger project. Any tips on how to handle this? We're six programmers and its really hard for us to work together :/
It's my first rant. I love the community :D

I hate it when I get a project idea while I'm trying to sleep. I start planning the project in my head and I can't fall asleep.

When my boss ask me if I would like to work on a side project in my "extra time":

That moment when you are working on the project which you almost finished, and you realise that it is a very bad implementation from the ground. :/

When one PM hands you off to another PM and neither has any idea about the project I am supposed to be working on...nor do I have access to the Trello boards, the repos, etc...

Happy Monday 🤦‍♂️

Spending the friday evening with a hobby project and beer. Lovely :)

first successes at the MyLeak project :)