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A young Programmer and his Project Manager board a train headed through the mountains on its way to Wichita. They can find no place to sit except for two seats right across the aisle from a young woman and her grandmother. After a while, it is obvious that the young woman and the young programmer are interested in each other, because they are giving each other looks. Soon the train passes into a tunnel and it is pitch black. There is a sound of a kiss followed by the sound of a slap. When the train emerges from the tunnel, the four sit there without saying a word. The grandmother is thinking to herself, "It was very brash for that young man to kiss my granddaughter, but I'm glad she slapped him." The Project manager is sitting there thinking, "I didn't know the young tech was brave enough to kiss the girl, but I sure wish she hadn't missed him when she slapped me!" The young woman was sitting and thinking, "I'm glad the guy kissed me, but I wish my grandmother had not slapped him!" The young programmer sat there with a satisfied smile on his face. He thought to himself, "Life is good. How often does a guy have the chance to kiss a beautiful girl and slap his Project manager all at the same time!"3
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A man goes inside a pet shop and starts to move around the cages to scout the pets. He sees a monkey with a price of 5000$ and goes to the merchant to ask for details. Hey mister, the monkey…what does it know to worth that much money? Well, it knows Windows 95, 98, 2000, and also knows Word, C++, Visual Basic and last but not least, it knows how to play computer games. - Good monkey, it's worth the money. He goes and finds another monkey with a price of 10000$ and again he will ask the merchant. "What does this monkey know?" "It knows Linux, Unix, Corel and Autocad." "Nice, even I don't know those things." On a last scout run he finds another monkey just sitting there with a price 20000$. The story repeats, and he goes with a lack of confidence to ask the merchant for details. "And what does this monkey do for that ridiculous amount of money?" "I never saw her doing anything, but the other two call her Project Manager!"4
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"You will get a month to finish this project."
"I will be honest and give you are a realistic deadline. It will take about 2 months."
"But ${random} company told me they will take one month."
"As you can see from your previous project, they will say one month and will drag it to two-three months by making excuses"
"No, I don't think you are good enough for it. I will pass it to them."
"..."6 -
Heard a fun quote from a project manager today:
"Naaah we don't need tests, that project is so small it wouldn't be worth it"
Seconds later: "Why does this keep breaking all the time and we only notice it once deployed?"8 -
I finally get in the mood to work on my side project and GUESS WHAT? THE API IM USING FOR IT IS FUCKING DOWN 😂🔫7
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!rant
A: "Hi, I'm A, I'm the CEO of X, we had this project I'd like you to do for me"
Me: "Hi, can I have more details about the project?"
A: "Ah yes, this is some kind of e-commerce for our start-up, we need you to do a web app, iOS, and Android app in 1 month"
Me: "OK we can do it in 2 month."
A: "OK we'll let you know our decision tomorrow"
(next month)
A: "Sorry we have to postpone this project"
(next 5 month)
A: "Hi! now I'm building this Y start-up and we need you to help us migrate our android app to web"
Me: (Looks feasible than his last project) "OK, I can do it"
A: "Can we meet tomorrow?"
Me: "OK"
(tomorrow)
Me: "Hello? where will we meet?"
Me: "?"
(next month)
A: "Hi! Sorry for not replying, can we meet this week for the Y project?"
Me: (...)7 -
Ok something went wrong.
I don't know how this could happen.
🤔 🤔 🤔 🤔 🤔 🤔
I finished a side project.
How could this happen?
🤔 🤔 🤔 🤔 🤔
Ahh I know. It is absolutely useless.17 -
Our project manager who also happens to be our web designer... (Start Up)
Project Manager: We have a go signal. Go convert this design to html and css. And make it responsive.
Me: Can you forward me the mail so I can check if it's actually approved?
Project Manager: Just do it.
Me: (After tweaking) There. It's done.
Project Manager: They want to change all the layout of the site. We're gonna do it from scratch. They didn't like the design.
Me: What? I thought your design was approved?
Project Manager: I thought so too. But i'm your PM so get back to work.
There was no mail from the client.7 -
Boss: Here's the next project that I would you to start immediately.
Me: So the client wants <Application Name>
Boss: Yes and it's due on Friday after 2 weeks.
Me: Yes can be done. By what time today you can give me the requirements.
Boss: Not today, I will give you the requirements next week Friday.
Me: So I should start the project next week Friday.
Boss: You have to start the project today
Me: Start with what? There is no requirement. Excuse me, I need a break.5 -
I actually completed a personal project with proper documentation and published it on GitHub. That doesn't happen too often!12
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Just did 70% of the job for a software project in college, only to get the least grade of the group because others were more vocal during the presentation.
The thing that irritates me is that not only did they assume that they can take part credit for my work, they cared more about 5%of a semester grade than their own self respect.
No hard feelings though, because even though I got lesser marks(about 2-3 marks lesser), I gained the most knowledge in the group, which is what matters5 -
Project coordinator blames our team because client said we failed to "align" with other teams.
Coordinator.
Project. Coordinator.
What the actual fuck.2 -
Boss says that I'm getting a third project I should work on from now on.
Also says that that the deadline is at march 21th.
Then says that the other project whose deadline is at may 1st has priority over all others.
10 -
Really found this type of students when I was finding someone to collab with me for final year project
13 -
Juste design a new algorithm to evaluate the chance of a project (any kind of project) will exceed the budget (time of cost). This algorithm been proven to be right almost all the time.
1 -
Had a final year project defence today in university. There were about 15 CS teachers in the room.
Our project was "Crypto Currency". After all the presentation was finish.
Teachers: so what is this blockchain?
** explained all about it and how it works with marker in a whiteboard **
While most of the projects were rejected and they have asked several cross questions to other friends, they didnt even ask any question to us and said our project is accepted.
Turns out teachers were taught by a student today, feels so good 😎 😂4 -
Client A: "I understand that we need to extend the due date for the project, but why we need pay extra for that?"
Me: "Because my people and I need money to survive as well...."
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This is something that happened 2 years ago.
1st year at uni, comp sci.
Already got project to make some app for the univ that runs in android, along with the server
I thought, omg, this is awesome! First year and already got something to offer for the university 😅
(it's a new university, at the time I was the 2nd batch)
Team of 12, we know our stuffs, from the programming POV, at least, but we know nothing about dealing with client.
We got a decent pay, we got our computers upgraded for free, and we even got phones of different screen sizes to test out our apps on.
No user requirement, just 2-3 meetings. We were very naive back then.
2 weeks into development, Project manager issues requirement changes
we have a meeting again, discussing the important detail regarding the business model. Apparently even the univ side hadn't figure it out.
1 month in the development, the project manager left to middle east to pursue doctoral degree
we were left with "just do what you want, as long as it works"
Our projects are due to be done in 3 months. We had issues with the payment, we don't get paid until after everything's done. Yet the worse thing is, we complied.
Month 3, turns out we need to present our app to some other guy in the management who apparently owns all the money. He's pleased, but yet, issued some more changes. We didn't even know that we needed to make dashboard at that time.
The project was extended by one month. We did all the things required, but only got the payment for 3 months.
Couldn't really ask for the payment of the fourth month since apparently now the univ is having some 'financial issues'.
And above all: Our program weren't even tested, let alone being used, since they haven't even 'upgraded' the university such that people would need to use our program as previously planned.
Well, there's nothing to be done right now, but at least I've learned some REALLY valuable lesson:
1. User Requirement is a MUST! Have them sign it afterwards, and never do any work until then. This way, change of requirements could be rejected, or at least postponed
2. Code convention is a MUST! We have our code, in the end, written in English and Indonesian, which causes confusion. Furthermore, some settle to underscore when naming things, while other chooses camel case.
3. Don't give everyone write access to repository. Have them pull their own, and make PR later on. At least this way, they are forced to fix their changes when it doesn't meet the code convention.
4. Yell at EVERYONE who use cryptic git commit message. Some of my team uses JUST EMOTICONS for the commit message. At this point, even "fixes stuffs" sound better.
Well, that's for my rant. Thanks for reading through it. I wish some of you could actually benefit from it, especially if you're about to take on your first project.3 -
1. Comes up with a project idea.
2. Doesn't have enough friends who code to collaborate said idea with.
3. Abadons project.
All in that order. lol
I just want to build cool stuff. :(10 -
Starting a new project tonight to help fellow teachers! First time actually using Github as well.... Interesting although I found it hard to get my head around!
11 -
Alright I get the importance of project planning but having a Sprint meeting at 7am is just insane.1
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Have you ever been so alone on a project that even if everything seems easy, you don't want to work on it because nobody cares about it?1
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1. have an exciting app idea
2. create project folder
3. include WebPack
…
47. lose all passion for project and give up
GOTO 11 -
I am being asked to support Internet Explorer 8 on this project I am wrapping up. The front-end has been developed using AngularJS 2.23
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My first real web project was in my senior year of college.
It was a hacker rank clone. And supported a bunch of languages. It was a fun project.
Others created a static website.
And guess what? they got the same grade as I did.
Fml14 -
I'm currently reading a course in Project Management and I have yet to find an image in the course literature with a person that doesn't suffers from a headache.
1 -
!rant
Another night of progress :) Finished the category page functionality on my cms project for now. Gotta keep at it!
6 -
Sitting here, completely forgotten about my http://jsrant.com project. Found it back in google analytics. Turns out people actually visit it!
Awesome! :D8 -
One of the worst thing :
Start a new project...
Have almost done everything...
See that someone else has done the same kind of app but... His is much better...3 -
*receives email about project*
*turns around*
PM: "Hey I just sent you an email about a project"
No. Fucking. Shit.3 -
I'm starting a side project. This time I'm totally gonna finish it. For real. 14th time's the charm, right?4
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Anybody else know that horrible feeling when you're 2 weeks and 1000 lines of spaghetti into what started as a 2 day 200 line side project that was supposed to make your main project better, but has now become it's own life consuming beast?2
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when youre in the middle of a project then you suddenly get the urge to write a neural network that can do nlp to find suitable puns.
😩😩😩7 -
!rant
Wanted to share a project with you, which I heard about at a Python Conference I attended.
It's a Raspberry based Hacking Station to educate and sensitize students about data privacy. The amazing thing about the project is, that it is a graduation project from a high school student.
If you're interested, check out spypi.ch
This is not an ad or something, I was just amazed by the talk and the idea of the project and wanted to share it with you.2 -
Project Manager comments on all my on-going tickets "any updates?"
And the project manager gets awarded "most productive"
While the tickets I've been assigned can't be closed in just a day
smh4 -
My project manager said. “Hey MillenialDev, I’ll see you as my equal when you have same experience as me”. I resigned following week.1
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Have you ever been in a situation where you want to start a new project, but have no idea what it should be.3
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A project manager is someone who believes that if he/she joins 9 pregnant women they'll have a child in 1 month1
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When you are working on a small project that is ~500 lines of code, but you have 27mb of node modules
7 -
*starts to work on a new project while others remain unfinished*
*bulb lights up* oh look a new project idea
*goes on to start on that one instead*
Being a student developer is awkward.3 -
Isn't it great when you start a project with nothing but dedication and enthusiasm to have it ruined by someone that just doesn't care and proceeds to shit on everything you have worked for.2
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I just discovered that a couple rants here talked about an open source project of mine 😍
Also, they were !rants 😄
Thanks for appreciating it! 😄5 -
Reasons why my personal project failed:
1. No target, or the target is "creating perfect software", and you make a lot of optimization before building anyhing
2. No deadline
3. Someone has built something better on github.
Give comments if you believe there are other things that make your personal project failed.11 -
Microsoft Project and SharePoint, I FUCKING HATE YOU TWO!!! Why you can't get along? You share the same creator for fucks sake!!!3
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The project I accepted for measuring heart sound is giving me a heart attack 😬
I have only 10 days left the deadline 😭6 -
Haxk20 here.
You probably dont know if you dont know me but i have created that stupid school project.
Now that i finally released source code for it. (Finally took me fucking time)
Im starting to polish it up a little bit and also make the code just better.
I probably havent explained what it is even.
Well its Arduino Based P2P network using LoRa as the main communication device and Bluetooth so you can use Smartphone to send data to it.
Really simple indeed but really powerful.
The project got turned down in competition as it didnt have "modules" they said. They wanted to make it device you could use in home to boil your coffee or some shit. Like IoT isnt enough now.
Kind of glad that it didnt win because that idea was horrible.
OK now thats out of the way.
If you want to contribute to it you can do so here: https://gitlab.com/Haxk20/...
Schematics, PCB design and boards used will be on there in few days. School is taking some time so i dont have much time to do it now.
Oh yeah and it also needs better name but well im terrible at naming things as you can see by the name of that project.1 -
when a project manager asks for an effort calculation due to changed requirements, but the calculation itself takes longer than the implementation would...
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Q: How many management consultants does it take to finish a project specification?
A: Infinite. And this is not even funny. -
OFFICIALLY COMPLETED A PROJECT!!
Its not anything too fancy but I am very proud of it.
It is a simple C# (.NET Core) Console application. that also uses SQLite
if anyone wants to see it heres the repo:
https://github.com/BubbsTheSupreme/...8 -
The hardest part of starting a new project is finding a name for it!! FFS && FML.
How do you all name your's?16 -
Someone needs to make a site that generates cool project names because I swear it's the hardest decision to make.15
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Can't work on a project cause I need to study for an exam.
Can't study cause I keep thinking about the project.
FUCK!1 -
Fun Story: My first official project was related to system files security. In first meeting project manager was talking about Macros and OLE i had no idea what the heck he was saying.just kept noding
Took us 2 months to complete the project now it has been deployed and working perfectly
Told my manager about this during final one on one meeting and he couldnt believe me,he still laughs about it everytime we meet -
Me: *working on a project for a year solo*
Management: Let's move development to consultants
Me: I don't think we'll profit from that
Management: Yes let's do it anyways
Me: *switching between project management and working on another project for 6 weeks*
EMERGENCY MEETING
Management: We're not getting enough output
Me: What did I say?
I'm so fucking tired of this project fuckery. Cred to my boss, she's great, but this time they should've just listened to me.2 -
At last !!
All projects are done!
Done 3 compiler project (with 3 separate documentation)
And 6 different Algorithms for algorithm design and analysis.(including my own project)
Been coding so hard to finish them ontime and now I made it :)1 -
Got some really responsible teammates in my University project.
We have split our tasks and everyone is working accordingly.
This seems like a dream!4 -
That hangover you get after working on a personal project all night long, having less than an hour of sleep before your actual work day begins..1
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What kind of project sizes do you prefer and why? Big one, lasting year(s), or smaller ones, in range of months?12
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That moment when your project manager says to the client "That is clearly possible". After that he asks you if that is in fact possible to do, you say: "is possible with major limitations" and then he understand they screwed up but in the end the one that is screwed up is you.1
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So now Github has their project feature and Bitbucket has integrated Trello [beta].
Any of you guys using those features?
How do you handle your ToDos/tasks?3 -
Me: *starts learning new tech stack*
Boss: you do this project right now(will have no relation with the tech stack I'm learning)
Me: boss you told me to learn something else
Boss: I need the project by this week.12 -
Why can't I just enjoy my weekend like a normal person for once? Instead I can't help but work on a side project because I know I won't sleep tonight if I don't!2
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Yesterday was release day for a project, never been too nervous like I am now, why? Because of the amount of chaos in this project, I cannot predict the behavior of the system, anything might just break T_T5
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Just opened a month old android studio project and now I'm wondering what the hell is going on. And later realize the importance of comments. :-(3
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That sweet feeling when the project is over and you can finally close all the 99+ tabs on the browser.
Feeling so happy right now! :) -
That bad feeling when you leave a project aside for a few weeks and then when you finally decide to continue it you don't understand the code you wrote...
I'm searching a solution for something I already solved once again. FUCK!5 -
A bad PM looks at every project in the last 6 months noticing how they are each far over their estimated time, angrily asks why each is so far over and then continues to self quote development jobs.1
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I am defending my project today "Effect of international financial reporting standards on company performance (a case study of quoted manufacturing firms in Nigeria). Pray for me2
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Me in teacher office : for this course i want create awesome project.
Teacher : ok. I suggest you build something like uber.
Me : o_O
Teacher :I believe you.
you can totally handle it
Me : plzzz...as you lift me up, my fall will become more painful
I don't build it
[Unfortunately, that project was imposed on me and whenever I think of the scale of the project i look like this: ]
4 -
"Don't worry I used to be a programmer, I'm a cool project manager"
...Scariest words I've herd in a long time1 -
This happened in my engineering days.
Second semester of my engineering, intro to computer science.
Topic on computer virus
Professor : "Examples of virus are videogames."
Me : *Screaming internally.
FYI, this "professor" has a PhD in computer science.
Fast forwarding to the final semester. We were supposed to present our project.
Unfortunately this professor was our mentor for the project work.
I was dedicated to this project. I was working on this for 10 hours a day. We were supposed to show the progress of our project to our mentor in four project reviews for the entire semester before presenting it in the final exam.
On the first review of the project, he started asking questions which are completely unrelated to the project, asking us to implement features which will take a lot of time and completely unnecessary. Basically, he didn't understood the project at all. On top of that he was shouting on us instead of pointing out the errors and the areas of improvement on the project.
And then I thought " Why am I busting my ass on this project for this idiot?"
Got demotivated, and started working on my side projects.
For the next reviews, got similar project off the internet, presented the same thing for the reviews and in the final exam. Got an A grade.
Honestly, I don't understand how these people get their PhDs and become professors in colleges and universities.1 -
feel stupid bcoz you underestimated the time to complete the project, feel even more stupid when you do it again and again1
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Hey devs,
I'm really bad at personal project idea generation.
So, do you have any good Python project ideas?
PS. Wanna light up my github chart again.
(aaand to put it in my CV of course)
4 -
If you are the lead developer on a big project, and you want your developers to not hate everything about this project, for the love of God please at least have a build server (it doesn't even have to run tests) and make sure your constant screwing around with Maven doesn't break the build for everyone else.1
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Project Manager (non-technical, can’t code) keeps assigning himself issues in Jira so that “we don’t have any unassigned issues”
It’s so annoying, if you can’t fix any of the problems, don’t pretend to be working on them5 -
Tmw your side project makes it to the front page of HackerNews and then to the top 😃
This is really nice positive reinforcement 😅3 -
You guys ever have to explain whole project to another employee because you are the only one that know and worked on this project.
Worst thing is that guy is not even a programmer and I have to teach him c# first 😤 I'm soo angry2 -
Rant
I was given a project to lead and develop with 2 other team members by the co-founder, I was told that I will need to deliver an initial demo within 30 days, 20 days in the project and I was told yesterday that they need a final release ready within the next 10 days !! Not just that but the co founder decided to assign one of my team members to another project!!!
I've worked today till 4am.
Guess who's working from home in the morning!6 -
Just downloading the CM Source code right now. I'm really excited and nervous because I never tackled such a big project on my own.
Wish me Luck guys! :)
1 -
A colleague of mine had a 'great idea' and started a crowdfunding project on kickstarter;
A microblogging application to host on your own server. The max amount of characters per message was 140.
The prototype was even built on bootstrap!
Such a original idea!!
4 -
I had to choose a subject for a math project. So I selected encryption (elliptic curve). I decided to make an interactive demo website. First time working with node, websockets, large numbers and latex. Most fun project I ever did. I am still proud on the result and how fast I did it (~3 weeks)
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So the little project I was working on goes to the side. I'm taking on a new one: a little pong game, a hello world into NES programming4
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Simple ANTLR project for compiler class accepted .
Easy money
(btw I had no idea about what antlr was , so i googled everything :D) -
Probably joining my first real project. Truly no amount of university education can prepare you for the sheer scale and complexity of an enterprise software project. 100+ git repos, 5 different services running just to run the project locally, with tunnels open to 2 different DBs. It was daunting to touch anything.3
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The best way to learn something imo is starting a project
I used to start small projects for that but now im doing my biggest project with laravel now its 90% done2 -
Actual question: Tell me which project management software you use and what you hate about it. What do you like about it, if anything?10
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Aaaand my side project is in the prototype stage now!
It is a node based terminal emulator and it's Open source.
https://github.com/iostreamer-X/...3 -
When one PM hands you off to another PM and neither has any idea about the project I am supposed to be working on...nor do I have access to the Trello boards, the repos, etc...
Happy Monday 🤦♂️ -
I am going to rant about this here because there is nowhere else where I can "SCREAM".
My work process....
Working on a project that does not have mockups nor a plan. I am building as I go. Design, infrastructure, EVERYTHING. Because my boss is a "genius".
And the project goes like this....
1. Boss tells me to build something.
2. I tell him the functionalities and design.
3. Boss, "Figure out yourself and we will see how it goes".
4. Me, Builds something.
5. Boss does not like it and demands changes.
6. I make the changes.
7. Repeat.
1 year and a half for one project that is a simple e-commerce. Show the products, a search functionality, users sign in and can order and show their orders.
A simple page in which does not take time, but without a plan, without A FUCKING PLAN this project will go on forever.
I am losing my mind. I put on test and tell my boss to test it for bugs. He demands a meeting and tells me, "we need to add this".
OH FOR FUCKS SAKE. TEST THE SITE FOR BUGS YOU FUCKING USELESS THING. I WILL FIX THE BUGS AND THEN WE WILL TALK FOR NEW MODULES.
I am doing documentation, database infrastructure, front-end, back-end, testing (because my boss cannot do it. It took him 2 week to start testing for some things after asking him every fucking day "Did you test it", "Did you test it").
Maintaining out CRM for bugs and new modules and maintaining our company's website.4 -
When you are hearing your consciousness that you should start doing your personal project before someone else does that.
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Just done with The Phoenix Project. Amazing book, I got if as an ebook. Wouldn’t mind more books similar to that style1
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Me: there are a lot of memory leaks in my application i should do something
Inner me : teacher does know that, submit the project1 -
How accurate is this guys ? I came across this reading comments on youtube. The moral of Star Wars rogue one ^^ and project management at its finest...
3 -
any thought about the best way to start a solo project? I think going for the db schema first is easier, curious to see your opinion 😁6
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That feeling when you sit down and finish a final project for a class in one night 😎
☑️ Turing Machine Interpreter2 -
Here to represent project managers.
Who was saying what about us?!
Talk now or forever hold your peace!4 -
Opinion | What kind software project could be submitted to college as a supplement ... Like a scripting language build from scratch?4
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Project is dammed, is broken, we complain about it for almost 3 months, daily, code is old and client is full of bad practices and is always searching for a way to blame us for his failure.
Administration decides that best solution is motivate meditation techniques on dev team1 -
@college project submission
Teacher:once done print all your codebase and come with to class
Me:But sir there are better ways of submitting our code.
Teacher :what do you suggest
Me:we can a repo such as bitbucket or github
Teacher:I got no idea of that you send the code using Gmail or just print the code for your grading.
Me:for Christ sake how will I send all my android files through Gmail.4 -
When you're not doing anything until 4pm then suddenly project manager give a task to finish until 5..2
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Today, for a feature that doesn't need to be released at all, we had to choose between delivering 2 months later so we could pay the technical debt, or release on time with even more technical debt, and 96% sure this will kill the project.
Guess what?1 -
The typical university project as a group:
- Discuss/Make somebody create the items in Jira: 2 days
- Implementation: 2 hours
- Tests: What are tests? Do I write them in my main method?
- Review/Someone sees the code: 9 hours
- Staging/Production: No one is ever going to use the "software"
2 -
I'm setting up an project at work. Takes me until now 2 days and there are dozens of undocumented things I couldn't know.
It's an total brainfuck of product. Most of it could be automated and be less error prone.
How can people do that? Don't they hate to do it too? I cannot understand why they didn't change anything there for years.1 -
Soo.... when does devRant go from Fight Club to Project Mayhem? Will we have to stand outside of @dfox and @trogus's apartment for 3 days?2
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Worse than an incompetent colleague who can't help me fix technical issues is a demanding, confusing, beat around the bush, boss as a project director.
Project Manager is away and Project Director steps in to take over. Starts barking orders and when I try to actively contribute positively to get the project going, he stops at me, barks that I was asking the wrong questions or doing the wrong tasks. This isn't my first project rodeo. I have had plenty of project experience under my belt but he belittles me. I know what needs done and get the project done and over with.
I guess I know what I'll do. Avoid proactively contribute and just hang back until I get orders on what to do. Because fuck progress. Or until I hear more from my original Project Manager.1 -
How do you guys prevent burnout when working on a side-project? I'm probably not the only one here, with multiple unfinished projects.3
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You know your life is fucking with you, when you need to start your college project from square-fucking-one again, for the forth time & looking through devRant isn't improving your mood. 😐2
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A couple of years ago the PM for the project I was working on committed to a 3 week deadline on a HUGE ASS project. The client was a massive telecommunications company and the project consisted on the websites for over 30 countries. When I confronted him, he told me he needed PROOF that the project wasn't going to be done in 3 weeks (WTF!?)...
He made the design, front end and back end teams start working in parallel (WTF!?)... Needless to say, the project wasn't done in 3 weeks, or in 10, or in 50... this was in 2014... the project hasn't been finished yet. Thankfully, I managed to get off that ship after 2 hellish months.1 -
In what ways a software projects can be screwed? Please suggest creative ways to fuck up a software project !10
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Project Manager: "You have until x date, but how far off are you from finishing"
Me: "How long is it until x date, there is your answer"
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I hate when you finish a project, and have no idea what to work on next! I despise feeling so idle!4
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When the project manager complained about how you are late for the deadline, but the keep on adding on new requirements unrelated to the initial goal. OTL
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When you talk to a friend about a possible cool project, and you find out Google already did it... Is there something they haven't done??1
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How so you guys motivate yourself when starting a side project/learning new language/technology? I am having some problems sitting down and working on my own stuff :(4
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"Its s rather simple idea with only four real relationships that need considered. So we need to know, can you do with 70 hours? This is the time we're throwing by him and its his high end price range." I reluctantly agree with many hesitant points made.
150 hours later: project has 28 tables, more than 12 pivot tables. I sit here staggered for days on how relationships even will tie together in the end as our designers (who wireframe and promise this and that based on their wireframes) had delivered feature sets that are near impossible to reach. -
Team of 5 post-grad students working on a single big project for final grade. Been working on this project since last 3 months. 2 of the memebers of my team doens't even know what we are building and we have to present it in 2 weeks, their contribution is less than 5%. How do people not think that its a project for all of us to do and its fucking 30 credits when the course itself is 90. The professors have asked us to give feedback for each member privately and i dont want to give negative feedback about them as they will lose way too many points for it.4
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From my recent experience, I observed that a flow of money should be there, else the project will never get complete. Is it true?2
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Announcing to the group that the project is live, after publishing it is fun! It is like getting closure👀 from a project.
Although going live on a Friday is never a good idea. 😄1 -
Weekend Project-A-thon
over a decade ago, I created a very simple php script, but because I was new to php, it took 2 months to code
I eventually sold half my interest in the business, and it was updated, upgraded, etc.
But now I have to clone it. And I have a weekend to do it. I've come a long way with my coding skills. I think it's possible.
Project Start Time: 9 a.m. Eastern.
My timer has started already. Wish me luck!
To keep me company, what is your weekend project you've been putting off, and do you think you could do it in 2 days?2 -
Fellow Freelancers, can you recommend a platform you use to track and share project progress with your clients?
What do you typically use to keep clients updated about project status? There a Fancy SaaS solution or do you use a simple excel file??
Would like some ideas and recos!4 -
I can’t describe how good it feels to have a project again.
And the pain of having a bug that I literally can’t fucking solve for hours even after asking for help which fucking sucked cause that was a waste of time to only realize it was because I WAS USING THE WRONG ACCESS MODIFIER is immense and fucking euphoric when I figure it out and I can clear all my browser tabs and don’t have to stare at that same fucking error again.
I’m just having a really good time with it and watching it grow. -
So I'm going to have to give an estimate for how long this new project is going to take. It's about time I learn how to properly estimate projects. Or does the learning only happen with more experience? 🤔3
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How do you guys come up with side projects? I'm as creative as a... Something that isn't creative. School starts tomorrow and I need a senior project for my software engineering degree but I'm having trouble thinking of anything.3
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Having a project on JS, .NET and C# and I'm really really close to just give up because of the access to itemTemplates.
Can't what I want :(3 -
Little poll:
I am building a cooperative website for something that I care. I don't want anything to be more expensive than free, but I still have to pay for the servers. I don't intend to make gains with it.
What is better: a single add on the front page, not intrusive, or a Wikipedia-like campain every year to get the money to pay the servers?
I am opposed to any kind of publicity in my case: for me, internet was created and has to be keept with the spirit of sharing. I give money to wikipedia when I can, I support projects on kickstarters, etc. Adds are the oposite: they don't mean to share, but to sell, hence completely destroying the spirit of internet. But I also need to know that my site may not be visited by people with my point of view: olders wouldn't pay as easily as youngers, and my project targets a very large group of people.
Please help me making a decision, I think I will have a lot of different opinions!3 -
When someone asks me to work on a project and I check if I've got the time to work on it
try:
import time
except ImportError:
print ("Time not available")
Result: "Time not available" -
I'm looking for an idea of a project to do over the next few days, if anyone could give me a project idea that'd be great3
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Hey everyone! So for my final year project, I have to make a firewall game to help people understand about firewalls. Any ideas on how I can start?4
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Can you suggest Any good e-commerce project online which I can fork? My friend is requesting me to build such website for him. He is ready to pay but I don't have much time. I tried to say no but he is saying that he is flexible about time. So I am looking for some prebuilt project which I can fork. I am good at express react and django.13
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How does it feel to work in a project where it doesn't have a proper planning ?. Anyone experienced?10
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I am bidding on freelancer for more than 2 months with the lowest charge with 1 day delivery but not getting any project. In fact nobody is getting selected for that project. At last what I see is No Freelancer Selected..
What the hell is going on Freelancer??
You need to change your protocols..or something..
Are the employer just making fun of us??2 -
I frequently run out of programming ideas. Could anyone tell me a fun project they have done.
I know Python 3, ruby and some C++3 -
When you are in the middle of a project, and get an idea how to solve an other project's problem..
I don't know if I should be happy to solve the first problem, or sad to cut my work on the current project. -
When you're presenting your first ever real project to your boss and the presentation PC comes up with a "Unsupported major.minor version 52.0" Exception 😒
Thanks Java..2 -
Is there a collaborative tool to make a project plan, with UI mockups and other designs? Not a something like issue tracker or project timeline.3
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When tackling a solo project, which one of these approach do you usually use (and prefer):
A) Mash up something that works ASAP while ironing out bugs and cleaning up code later on - a.k.a. "duct tape programming".
B) Have everything planned before you even start coding. Strive to get everything right from the get go. UML diagrams galore.
p.s., If none suits you, feel free to tell us about your preferred approach anyway. Those 2 are the only thing that came on the top of my head at the moment.
p.s.s., I'm all for A. Should you care about it.3 -
I trully need some personal project or something to start working on my own or in a small team... any idea what to do?
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I got a client to build a LMS. What are some easier way to complete the project? I am thinking of using wordpress with some LMS plugin.2
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How do I come up with ideas for side projects to practice new frameworks and skills I pick up?
I keep learning new languages and tools, but have no "worthy" project to show for as proof.
How do I come up with cool project ideas? Any sources? Any outright examples for cool ideas I could take inspiration from?1 -
When you are creating an account on devRant and want to use copy and paste on an iPhone with German language selected...
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Hours away for 2016 to come to an end and I still can't decide if I should finally finish my side project or get more sleep.
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Tomorrow is the final technical review on a project we're working on with friends at school since September. The subject was not entertaining but we had a lot of fun trying stuffs (think Node, Vue, Raspberry). I've been writing my part of our final report all the week-end (security and deployment) and it is very nice to see how we managed to do something cool out of that subject !
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So there is *that* side project again i want to finish it, spin up my pc.
Open the IDE.
Stair at the screen.
5 mins later ...
Opens devrant
2 hours later ...
Closes the IDE
Damn that was productive again!
I mean i got no motivation to do it, but i am excited for the result.
API is fully implemented, only thing missing are a few things in the web ui.
Its going to be another unfinished side project again. -
just completed my first side project today after one and a half months of hard work.
Check it out:-
https://git-lan-api.herokuapp.com
Please provide any suggestions and improvements.4 -
Me: "I have a hobby project idea on how to provide a vendor-free solution to this... and the domain is also straightforward."
Me after one year: "man, finally it is in the MVP state... that escalated slowly..."
> Also, me who couldn't resist to create a hobby project for the sake of the previous hobby project...1 -
For those of you in college or university...
I'm taking on my first project as a part of a second year. In a team of 3 people total, we have to build an application for a client of our choosing. Whilst we don't exactly know who or what we are doing, does anyone have any advice?
I have a book on scrum mastery but I would like to ask the community for advice.1 -
project time is a tough time (especially deadlines!).
but project time is learning time and a growth time.
so it doesn't discourage me!1 -
I have a class on my college on which we can choose what to do as a final project the only requisite being that we need to do something we haven't covered in any class at the degree.
I want to be a Gameplay programmer and saw that many offers ask for Lua, then I think this is an opportunity to do something in Lua and learn the basics but I don't know what to do, any ideas of a simple project I can do in Lua or a framework that uses Lua that can teach me the basics of it?
Tl;Dr: Want to do a small project in Lua, have no idea what to do tho. Ideas?4 -
So at the end of our sprint retrospective we (me and one other dev) apologize to the project owner for the fact that QA had to happen on dev for a few days because the database changes were not properly applied by the DBA. It was a one time thing, a little weird but not a big deal.
A few hours later we get a call from a new DBA saying that the project owner said that we wanted the old DBA off our project. So now we sound like assholes ruining a guy's self confidence and made working with him awkward as hell.
Thanks, project owner. -
FACT: The amount of problems you encounter with a project is inversely proportional to how close you are to finishing it.
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I have a school project that starts in 2 weeks.
Is it normal to ask us to make a report for Monday with the technologies we want to use knowing that we have no information about this project and we still have exams for 1 week ...6 -
Everybody's coding on the weekend
Everybody needs a new project task
You want a piece of my results
You gotta start from the start
You want to be in the contributors
C'mon baby let's go
Yeah essentially I'm going to be working this weekend due to protect constraints and SME being unresponsive and unhelpful1 -
!rant
Looking for some guidance on a final year college research project:
I was going to look into hacking drones/toy helicopters/those Fitbit watch things or whatnot, but I'm not sure if it would go down well! Some technologies I'm looking to explore through this project include reverse engineering, machine learning and container technologies (docker, rkt) if that helps?
Am I along the right lines or should I take a different approach with different topics? If so, an update on what's "hot" or upcoming at the moment would be helpful.
Cheers!2 -
I wanna talk about the obsession that precedes every new personal project.
I keep thinking about it, searching, getting new ideas and more features, pulling my hair, and laughing like a mad scientist. I think I might be crazy.1 -
I had a client with an ongoing project. Everything was going fine until her boy-asshole-friend talked to me by phone... He was so ignorant.
Don't get me wrong. I'm not talking about the ignorant who doesn't know anything. I'm talking about the ignorant who doesn't know a shit but he is talking about it and refuses to get a professional advice. He told me explicitly: "Don't use test server for testing your project. Do it directly on production"
Unnecessary to say that my client "suspended" the project.1 -
Found my old project that deals with algebra in multithreading fashion
Just pushed it to github
Have a look at https://github.com/rational-kunal/... -
Trello, one of my latest discoveries and it's quickly becoming one of my most important tool for project management
https://trello.com/ -
This currently project I'm working on is taking a turn for the worse. I keep finding missing features from the designs, but then also the project manager remembered that there were these other requirements that were needed. She only remembered after I raised an issue about another problem because NOTHING has been written down. A wireframe is NOT a fucking requirements document.
So now I have to refactor 2 major components just to include this sudden new requirement. I really hope I don't work with this project manager ever again on any future projects. -
anyone else having a project and getting behind schedule and working overtime and still not getting it done?
no? it's okay, i know it's only me so dumb :(6 -
when you don't know the timeline of the project you're working on. So you don't know if you should rewrite everything to be more flexible in the future2
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I've been on a new project since last week.
After 3 days of knowledge transmission and really nothing else, the PM walked in and ask me when the project will be finished...
Really?! Jumping in a totally new project, with tools and functionals aspect I've never seen and then this.
:thumbs up: everything gonna be ok -
2019:
Working fulltime on my personal project.
2020:
Publishing my personal project to the public.
Its gonna be a good year!1 -
Hey guys, can you do me a big favor by voting on a project of my classmates and I.
If you go to icapresents.nl (yes the website is Dutch but Google translate can translate the page for you) then scroll down you'd have to click Selecteer profiel (select profile) and then select HBO-ICT propedeuse. There will be one project called EenmaalAndermaal. To view the project click Bekijk Project (view project) and here is the button Stem op dit project (vote for this project).
Warning, you might get a prompt asking you to log in to Facebook (nothing will be shared on your profile!) but when you do this you might get redirected back to the main page without the vote being registered. Bad design.
Thanks in advance
2 -
The Project Manager changed the project from scope driven to date driven with the teams giving him only t-shirt sizing estimates. Wish us luck...
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Well I'm back on this stupid project with this stupid Product Owner and I really hate this, it really demotivates me.
I was assigned to this project (data analytics) for like 6 months, working alone with this stupid PO that knows nothing about team management or project management.
The guy had a "methodology" where he established all task to be done daily and would not tell me what we have to do in the entire project but instead would tell me day by day all the tasks to be done in each day. This means that HE was the one making the time estimation which is plain wrong!.
Anyways, I talked to him and told him that I need to have a wide overview of the project in order to be able to make a good time estimation, and it kind of worked.
But the guy is a pain in the ass, calls me every 4 hours to "talk" about the project and texts me every hour to check "how are we doing?".
This project was killing me, I had no motivation to work on it, I hated every minute of it, I didn't like it at all to the point my boss (not him) talked to me and asked me what was wrong with me. I told him: This is not the project for me. He told me: Ok let's try to move you to another project.
After six months of agony, the project was stale (customer approval, paperwork, blah, blah) I was assigned to two other projects that I liked, more software architecture and development, not data analytics.
And last week my boss came back to me with "well, the project was approved so we need you back at it".
WHAT PART OF I'M NOT THE RIGHT GUY FOR THIS PROJECT DIDN'T YOU GET?
Now I'm again with this dude, calling me, texting me, sending me infinite emails, asking for minutely updates...
I really don't want to be working on this project. -
I was just made to switch projects and was told to work on a feature I have zero previous knowledge about. I think this is the first time I am googling about something and not sure which link to click first. I have so much information in my mind these days from previous project that I just can't take any new information.
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does any one know any software (opensource/free) to create project plan or product plan (e.g. fancy like productplan.com) ?1
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Client: Are we getting the finished site next Monday?
Supervisor: no it should be the week after, that's the date I have on our dev schedule.
1st week into the project, we pointed out the PM messed up the project end date (he took beginning of the final week instead of the end of week) and apparently he(& CEO) didn't bother to inform the client about the mistake.
WTF PM you f-ed up every single project since joining the company -
Hi there, fellow ranters! I'm creating a project and need your feedback on it!
https://medium.com/@vaaesh/...7 -
I have released my first PyPI project.
Take a look please and let me know what your think.
https://pypi.org/project/ydu/
https://github.com/Rotho98/ydu -
Do you guys have people in your office that just REFUSE to cooperate, or people who tell you they'll cooperate, but then they literally do anything except for cooperate?
I'm having trouble with the latter; I've been trying to get one of our less experienced members to work on our deployment. He's successfully configured at least 4 other deployments, and this one is the EXACT SAME as the other ones. The issue is that the person who is im control of this particular master console is someone higher up than me, but they don't know how to delegate. Thus everything that they touch becomes their own little pet project that no one else can dare touch, because they'll "mess it up" (not do it the right way according to his limited bible of best practices).
So now I'm stuck here, trying to convince HIS BOSS to get him access, but i even HE cant get him to do it! Now I'm sitting here waiting, getting more and more fed up with this guy, because like i said, it's his MO: im on two other projects with him, and they're all moving at a GLACIER'S pace.
Seriously, if you dont have the time for a project, but it on the backburner, dont start it and make your other projects suffer.6 -
Have a project that will need to scale very quickly in size after its release as we already have 300 on board and each on boarding is a large scale feat.
I’m going with react for front end architecture, probably with redux sense I’ve heard it’s great for large scale applications. I would love to use angular but there’s a tight timeline and I’m not proficient with it yet. Try an talk me out of it though. 🤷🏼♂️ I’m posting cause I’m open minded.
For backend I’m broken between phps laravel and nodes sails.js.
I feel like laravel is very mature and ready for the job but the idea of a full js stack sounds appealing as the frameworks easy to pick up and spin people up on. Laravel would demand a php dev which there are less of in my town.
On that note though, I would love to be responsible for creating more php jobs in the city. Scalabilities most important though. Cam sails hold up as a robust api? Laravels proven to time and time again
I’m open to opinions, frameworks, architectural ideas8 -
My coworker and I were supposed to direct a senior project for a local university. Somehow, the professor did not get our project submissions. No senior project this semester 😞
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I'm a jnr who has worked in 2 projects. In the first the project manager was aweful. On the second the project manager was brilliant. Starting my 3rd project and this time there won't be a PM. Should I be happy?1
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I have a lot of struggle coming up with side project ideas even though I am motivated to do some. How do you come up with ideas?3
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