When you are the one who does all the work in a group project.

Not a bad view. @ a conference presenting a scientific paper.

Describing NAT :))

Source: nixCraft

Did they compile it on a toaster? ^^

Confession: I don't like coffee

I think I laught too much about this!

A tcp packet walks in to a bar and says “I want a beer”, barman says “you want a beer?” and tcp packet says “yes, a beer” .

In high society, TCP is more welcome than UDP. At least it knows a proper handshake.

A bunch of TCP packets go into a bar, until it’s overcrowded. The next day, half as many go in.

A bunch of TCP packets walk into a bar. The bartender says, “Hang on just a second, I need to close the window.”

When I try to send SYNs to chicks, I don’t get any ACKs. Just FINs and RSTs.

IP packet with TTL=1 arrives at bar. Bartender: “Sorry, can’t let you leave…and you don’t get any beer either…” 

The worst part about token ring jokes is that if someone starts telling one while you are telling yours, all joking stops.

The great thing about TCP jokes is that you always get them.

The problem with TCP jokes is that people keep retelling them slower until you get them.

I would tell some UDP jokes too but I never know if anyone gets them

The best thing about UDP jokes is that I don’t care if you get them or not.

I had a funny UDP joke to tell, but I lost it somewhere...

The sad thing about IPv6 jokes is that almost no one understands them and no one is using them yet.

I tried to come up with an IPv4 joke, but the good ones were all already exhausted.

A DHCP packet walks into a bar and asks for a beer. Bartender says: “here, but I’ll need that back in an hour!

DHCP jokes only work when there is only one person telling them

The worst part of SSH jokes is that, even when they're not funny, you suck it up and just pretend they were anyway.

The problem with token ring jokes is you need to wait your turn to laugh

I’d make a joke about UDP, but I don’t know if anyone’s actually listening…

Straight in dem feels

Looking for a job as a deveoper be like:

Job title: car driver

Job requirements: professional skills in driving normal- and heavy-freight cars, buses and trucks, trolley buses, trams, subways, tractors, shovel diggers, contemporary light and heavy tanks currently in use by NATO countries.

Skills in rally and extreme driving are obligatory!
Formula-1 driving experience is a plus.

Knowledge and experience in repairing of piston and rotor/Wankel engines, automatic and manual transmissions, ignition systems, board computer, ABS, ABD, GPS and car-audio systems by world-known manufacturers - obligatory!

Experience with car-painting and tinsmith tasks is a plus.

The applicants must have certificates by BMW, General Motors and Bosch, but not older than two years.

Compensation: $15-$20/hour, depends on the interview result.

Education requirements: Bachelor's Degree of Engineering.

I don't remember seing it here, found it on imgur. It was part of a few other pictures with the theme "Barbie is coding" :)

Debugging is like being a detective trying to solve a case where you're also the murderer.

What the hell Siri.... What sort of computation is this

This made my Day...

Startup Quote...

Thanks god the conversation is closed!
https://github.com/torvalds/linux/...

How did I learn to program?
It's the funniest story actually.
I studied Computer Engineering where I took programming courses.

There is a hole in the world like a great black pit and it is filled with people who developed Eclipse.

It's not a bug. It's a feature!! 😂

Great phrase from my PM (sarcasm):
"Don't waste time with maintainable code, we have a lot of bugs to solve"

+1 if you have a spaghetti chef in your team.

Just managed to crash my laptop by opening too many tabs in chrome :/ I have 16gb of RAM