Is it just me who finds coding so relaxing? In all the messy crap flying around it's just me and code..my precious!

The team spirit in our team has improved over the past 1 month with this etiquette..
*walk up to team member
*no greetings
Just say " bring yourself back online"
Watch them light up..share those ten Westworld seconds..ask for what you need
..and the hell back to your desk
..cheers

Never had one due to this trick I borrowed from an old friend.
So we all know about those meetings where its all crap flying around right?.
First go in there with your alarm clock set on vibration every 7 minutes(trust me on this-makes you look important and you ought to be somewhere else)
Actually the alarm is a reminder that you need to bring yourself back online.
At this point just listen to the speaker for a couple of seconds(especially if its marketing dept) and being the engineer your are; rephrase parts of their presentation in a question-comment hybrid( at this point you're the wisest looking person in the room)
Now go back to thinking about that pizza slice you left in the fridge as they discuss the "lean production" methods that they can use based on "your opinion"..
To more happy meetings..cheers

Absolutely bad

Microsoft project
Just make it free already..we use xMind anyway

What did ms word tell excel?
Dude I don't wanna deal with your sheet right now.

Building a repo for my resumes and forking a version based on job description

All hail the one professor who taught me the importance of sharing knowledge

When Musk lands us on mars and we set up WiFi please don't send us links with those pop-up ads

Mind awake;body asleep
mind awake;body asleep
mind awake..

just saw the humour in the last sentence after sending this to my class..

I felt like crying at a startup pitch event..great ideas. crappy presenters
..

That moment you write and test HTML code on your phone in a metro bus and a brother looks at you like you're from the future

I didn't know "bandwidth" can be so hard to understand even after 2 hrs explaining..client still wants widgets with autoplay videos..God why?

I didn't know devRant was two months old..you all rant like you've been here since 2011

*hot chic from office walks up to me*
Her: hi,are you the computer guy?

Me: heey,that's me..wassup

Her: nothing,you just seem different from the others ..you're so calm under all these deadlines.

Me: sure, when I'm frustrated I go to devrant

Her: where's that?

Me: exactly

Her: you're so funny.
Me: wanna grab lunch

* nothing ever happens how I imagine them..except code*

while (200 parts of code !=1 part of coffee;rant++)

boss recently abandoned all my specific beliefs for a more general stance of negativity

Pose a question to the students and check devRant as they come up with an answer ..which happens to fix that bug on a freelance project you're doing..
<schemes>

everytime I want to rant about my boss I check if drumf is still alive and know there are worse