A young Programmer and his Project Manager board a train headed through the mountains on its way to Wichita. They can find no place to sit except for two seats right across the aisle from a young woman and her grandmother. After a while, it is obvious that the young woman and the young programmer are interested in each other, because they are giving each other looks. Soon the train passes into a tunnel and it is pitch black. There is a sound of a kiss followed by the sound of a slap. When the train emerges from the tunnel, the four sit there without saying a word. The grandmother is thinking to herself, "It was very brash for that young man to kiss my granddaughter, but I'm glad she slapped him." The Project manager is sitting there thinking, "I didn't know the young tech was brave enough to kiss the girl, but I sure wish she hadn't missed him when she slapped me!" The young woman was sitting and thinking, "I'm glad the guy kissed me, but I wish my grandmother had not slapped him!" The young programmer sat there with a satisfied smile on his face. He thought to himself, "Life is good. How often does a guy have the chance to kiss a beautiful girl and slap his Project manager all at the same time!"

My classmate is a real SAVAGE!!

He (team leader) and his team participated in hackathons several times and kept losing.
He noticed something common about winning team, majority of those team members were women, even if they were non technical and their project was pure bs, they were winning in the name of women empowerment.

This time he came out with a plan, he fired his boys and invited women into his team, and even made one girl the team leader.
Result? HE WON!!!
NOT ONE BUT THREE HACKATHONS BACK TO BACK

AND

His so called women team was invited by Google to pitch their startup idea.

Now, if they gets funding, he's gonna kick out these women and bring back his teammates

Meeting with smooth suit guy:

"So, our company has pivoted"

I hate everything about this guy, not having slept well at all, I fucking snapped:

"Pivoted? Oh wow, what a wonderfully refined word to describe that your asinine business model smacked flat into the mud, that your obtuse bubble of vague ideas popped and your childish dreams of piles of undeserved gold got caught up by the hard reality that your product does not add any tangible value -- yet you tricked your sheepish retarded investors once again to fall for a new hype-filled pitch deck? Congratulations. At least you probably snort enough coke to keep believing in yourself..."

The guy nervously wiped his nose, stuttered, and walked off looking angry and a little confused.

So it turns out, my boss is apparently the major "sheepish retarded investor" in this company.

Today I got a mail from him. I expected fire and fury, nuclear ICBMs crashing into my desk.

"Thanks for your feedback, this is why I invite you to meetings. Could you take a look at their new pitch slides and preliminary API docs for me?"

People are fucking idiots. Had agreed to a meeting on Monday morning at 9 with some generic startup. Agreed to listen to their pitch after they had bugged me with hundred phonecalls and emails. It happened that my kid got sick during the previous night and this being the only meeting I decided to work from home and stay with the kid. I sent an email at 2am as apologizing, canceling the meeting and proposing a new time for another day this week.

Well at 9am I get a call from reception that my guests have arrived. I call the contact and she's angry at me that I didn't show. When I asked about the email she snaps at me: I don't have time to read emails on Monday mornings.

Well I don't give a flying fuck about your shitty pitch. Go fucking peddle your shit somewhere else if you can't handle your affairs and start snapping at me. FUCK.

I actually took the time to explain to a recruiter that java != JavaScript... He told me they were similar enough... I put it in terms he'd understand: "If you want to make money, you need to understand that they are not similar. If you keep saying they are and send your clients a dev with no java experience, you'll lose clients. if you send devs to a place that's looking for something they don't know, you'll lose devs. Your pitch reeks of desperation and you'll be out of the business within a year unless you actually start listening to the people who know the tech."

I almost felt bad, but... He kept pushing when I said no, haha.

So my friend started a YouTube channel, being the motivational man I am I encouraged him and made him a logo for his channel.

It started here, he called me a bazillion times every single day asking me to make stuff like Channel banners, intros.

He even went so far to call my design bad and that I could do better.

I'm definitely losing my hold on my generosity, it's like this with every single fucktard I help. It's like programmers don't get to have a life, people pitch me stupid ideas at every party.. Having a casual conversation a guy starts talking about an idea.

Oooh... And the worst part they say you can have 60% and just give them 40% 'MINORITY' share for coming up with an idea I could pull up from my arse instantaneously

Next time he asks me something I'm gonna fuck him up or just charge him a bazillion dollars... FUCK FUCK FUCK... REALLY GOT TO BUY THAT STUPID STRESS CUBE

This one is for devs and gamers.
But first some background story.

My girlfriend is special. Not just generically lovey mush mush special. She is 1 in 100 more accurately 1 in 10000. She was born with a rare Congenital Heart Defect {CHD}. Called Truncus Arteriosus or TA for sake of brevity. TA's main thing is the two main arteries going into the heart are fused together and never seperated at birth. It's bad news. There is no cure for this kind of thing. Simply repairs that happen over the course of life.

So here is me. Desperately trying to find a way to get the word about this and the 40 other types of CHD out there in the world. I thought. "What if I make a game..." Not based around the medical jargon but on a level people could understand. I spent the better part of the last six years attending appointments with her and still don't get it. What I do get is her Emotional state. How her CHD causes her to think and feel.

So here is the pitch.

The game is about a girl who is diagnosed at birth with a CHD. She is now in her 20's and has to undergo an open heart surgery to repair the defect. The day comes. She goes under but when she wakes up she find herself in a final fantasy style environment. This new world has a darkness cast over it. She is unknowingly the hero of this world and she has to face off with multiple bosses of varied degrees of evil.

Then after beating these bosses she really wakes up from the surgery. Waking up to the realization that the world she saved was herself. And all the bosses were manifestations of her own internal feelings. Depression, anxiety, hopelessness, Denise, desire and so on.

I would sell this game with the caveat that 2/3 of all profits get split between the Adult Congenital Heart Association and Project Heart. As those are the two main organizations that deal heavily with creating standards of care and raising awareness for CHD survivors.

Thoughts?

Note: I am still learning game dev. This is an eventual goal for me.

When I hear sales guy using technical terms in the wrong context while doing his sales pitch to a client...

I've been doing programming as a hobby since I was 10 years old, I've always found my teachers are good at IT but not that good in Computer Science and programming, this year a new teacher joined the IT department who has actual experience in programming etc.
Our school uses two services, a rewards system which for some reason can also show our timetable, and another service for displaying our homework. In my spare time I made a project which combined these two services and showed it to him. As the first teacher with actual programming experience he was impressed and now I get to 'pitch' my project to the teachers higher up.

TLDR; It's good to have a good teacher

I think one difficult thing about being a developer is having all your business friends tell you they have this idea that would make millions but you have to build a prototype (for free) for them to pitch. They don't seem to understand that this is a full time job.

It's dark. It's pitch black. It's scary. You go '000000....'
Someone shines a bright spotlight on your face. You go 'FFFFFF.....'

Pro tip: As great as your product is, it's 1000x harder to pitch to my boss when it has a goofy-ass name.

Me: Hey boss, I came across some new software that'll help manage our mission critical database system.
Boss: Oh yeah, what's it called?
Me: WoolySocksDB Enterprise Edition
Boss: 😐... No.

That feeling when the company looses a 120k account and it is blamed on your expert opinion and poor handling off the situation when It's really the fuckwits in sales who in their greed for provisions make shitty pitches.

I got a call to attend a meeting with a customer. Present was also the "developer" from the customers side who was to oversee the projects. The pitch was made earlier, but no information was provided beforehand so I was going in blind, covering for a suddenly absent lead. The point was to roughly present how the project was to be executed and I was told to voice my opinion on development time estimate that the clients expert had given. They were outsourcing and had already fired their whole team.

I gave a number based on the provided information and all hell breaks loose. Suddenly it's a total circle jerk. Shit goes down. The "dev" tells that he can do it himself in half the time and starts showing some shitExcelsOfTotalAbsurdness that prove it. I calculate his claim and end up with a result that he has 60+ hours in his day, so I ask why doesn't he do it then? Why the outsourcing if they could just give him a raise and save a ton of cash.. sudden silence and you just can hear the rusty gears turn while they try to make a new excuse.

Well it went south. Today I found out that the client was our sales guys buddy. so TL;DR of it was that our sales guy was trying to make a quick buck and give a break to his buddy and hang the shitbucket on our team. I pointed out that this was a shitty business deal that would go into the red, but the sales guy turned it around and now "I cost company 120k/month account on a long project" and because I acted unprofessionally customer is unhappy.

I FUCKING HATE THIS SHIT

secretly hoping to get fired over this

*attempting to flirt at the bar*
Hey! I'm a full stack developer, so I can do your frontend and your backend

When you and your dev co-founder pitch your startup idea to an angel investor.

Thank you so much for the goodies @dfox and @trogus

Now the duck can swear at me with it's high pitch noise when I am unproductive 😃

My neighbor(He is 14 I think) pitched this to me and wanted advice since he was going try to participate in the Google science fair.

Him:"A robot that gives you medical advice. You just tell it your symptoms and voila! You've got your diagnosis. No doctor required."

Me: "How are you going to decide what disease the user has?"

Him:" I'm just going to write an if-else ladder statement. I've already got some of the data from this site called WebMD. It's amazing."

Me: "Go with something simple. What you're suggesting won't work out."

He told me I didn't have "Vision".
His ditched his project last week.

TL;DR: check polarity before plugging your DIY circuits into others!!!

*goes off to watch some Lucky Star and drink some booze*
*notices phone battery dying after 3rd pint*

But my charging cable that Huawei delivered with this thing is way too short... Well that ain't no problem, I can make one of my own 😎

But I'm tipsy.. sound I really enter the workbench in this state?

*goes off to build a charging cable anyway*
But what was USB-A male connector's polarity again? Oh, there's the fan's USB connector that I've made in the past. Let's check on that one. So, left is positive and right is negative?

*solders the wires on*
Snip, strip, stick, done! Well that was easy. I guess that all those failed soldering attempts and lost pads in the past as a means of training did pay off in the end!

*plugs phone into Raspberry Pi media center through new charging cable*

Strange sounds coming from the speakers.. well that's odd. Reverse polarity or maybe the Pi can't handle a 1A load from my phone?

*plugs phone into the 5V 5A charging hub that I've made earlier*
That oughta do.. current limits should be no more in that thing.

*charging hub makes high-pitch noise similar to the Pi speakers*
Definitely a reverse polarity, isn't it :') let's check on the Gargler...
Oh shit! It is a reverse polarity mistake!!! Should've checked this earlier >_<

*resolders wires properly*
Alright, finally done.. as I'm writing this post, my phone's charging from the Raspberry Pi through my fixed charging cable now...

Lesson learned. Always check on the internet what the pinout is before soldering anything, don't solder while tipsy, and be fucking grateful that this phone has reverse polarity protection in it.

Nexus 6P with all its shortcomings regarding power delivery and battery management, luckily it's got reverse voltage protection features built-in. Otherwise it might've costed me my phone. Always double-check before plugging anything into something else!!!

Ok so I switched to Linux not so long ago and after using vim some time i did :wq in notepad 😂😂

Me passing time on the weekend

Random call from unknown number

Turns out it's the manager

M: hey , how is your weekend going ...

Me: nothing much ... Whatsup ?

M : yeah well , we wanted to push some minor adhoc fixes as some clients wanted it urgently

The Devops folks need developer support . Can you pitch in and monitor

Me : I'm not aware of what changes are going , i don't think i can provide support

M : don't worry it's minor changes , it's already tested in pre prod , you just need to be on call for 30 mins

Me : ugh okay .. guess 1 hr won't hurt

M: thanks 👍🏽

Me: *logs in

*Notices the last merged PR
+ 400 lines , implemented by junior dev and merged by manager

*Wait , how is this a *minor* release...

*Release got triggered already and the CI CD pipeline is in progress

*5 mins later

*Pipeline fails , devops sends email - test coverage below 50%

Manager immediately pitches in ...

M: hey , i see test coverage is down , can you increase it ?

Me: and how do u suppose I do that ?

M : well it's simple just write UTC for the missing lines ... Will it take time ?

Me : * ah shit here we go again

Yeah it will take time , there are around 400 lines , I am not aware of this component all together

Can you ask junior dev to pitch in and write the UTC for this

*Actually junior dev is out on a vacation with his girlfriend

M : well he's out for the weekend , but
as a senior dev , i expect you to have holistic understanding of the codebase and not give excuses ,
this is a priority fix which client are demanding we need this released ASAP

Me : * wait wat ?

---

I ended up being online for next 3 hours figuring out the code change and bumping up the UTC 🤦🏾

Went to a hackathon yesterday... WITHOUT HAVING AN ENTRY PASS 😛😛 made a hot product.. Pitched it.. Got disqualified when pitching(they found it halfway during the pitch... took them 2 days to figure our play there)😎😎

Friend of mine at college is struggling with his cpp class.

Have been helping this guy since forever with it, he is not a coder by any means nor does he display any sort of affinity or "talent" for it. But he does make up with intense dedication. Still he knows that he will not be pursuing a career in software engineering, this is just a class.

The thing is, he showed me a video of his class. The instructor is middle eastern with a thick accent. Accent so thick I need subtitles for this motherfucker.

He has learned more from me that he has at uni. And at my day job the interns say the same thing. I love teaching and far prefer it over working on projects.

This week we have a meeting with the head of the i.t dptmtn at school as nd I will try to pitch myself in as a faculty member by popular demand.

I would love to teach, i have experience in the field and learn a lot from going over shit as an instructor. I can make one go from wtf is JS used for to handling promises and writing Angular in days.

I really want to teach man.

Don't you just love it when you're pitching new project ideas and there's always that one negative person that has to find something to complain about?

They literally said to me "But what if the user runs out of battery? that will make the application useless for them"

At this point it just feels like this person is turning down every idea for the sake of turning them down.

Well fuck me sideways with a rusty lamppost.
Got assigned to a project at work, kind of a biggie, my first actual large project. Been working there since last year, done a lot of research in my spare time and felt like I deserved it or something.

But then...

A few weeks ago I posted a rant about a fuckwit that can't even type 'ssh' in a terminal and doesn't know how a basic database system works.

Guess what.

Yeah.

Exactly that happened.

Because of his overconfidence and big mouth he got assigned to the project as well.
He planned a pitch. Stole my words.

He hasn't proven himself in any way and always needs help. Always. And I don't have a problem with people asking for help, I actually tell people not to be afraid to ask if they don't know something.

But I do have a problem with people laying back at work and asking 7 different people how to open a terminal.

Why does this happen? Just why?

Hi everyone, long time no see.

Today I want to tell you a story about Linux, and its acceptance on the desktop.

Long ago I found myself a girlfriend, a wonderful woman who is an engineer too but who couldn't be further from CS. For those in the know, she absolutely despises architects. She doesn't know the size units of computers, i.e. the multiples of the byte. Breaks cables on the regular, and so on. For all intents and purposes, she's a user. She has written some code for a college project before, but she is by no means a developer.

She has seen me using Linux quite passionately for the last year or so, and a few weeks ago she got so fed up with how Windows refused to work on both her computers (on one of them literally failing to run exe's, go figure), that she allowed me to reinstall both systems, with one of them being dualbooted Windows 10 + Linux.

The computer that runs Linux is not one she uses very often, but for gaming (The Sims) it's her platform to go. On it I installed Debian KDE, for the following reasons:
- It had to be stable as I didn't want another box to maintain.
- It had to be pretty OOTB, as first impressions are crucial.
- It had to be easy to use, given her skill level.
- It had to have a GUI abstraction to apt, the KDE team built Discover which looks gorgeous.

She had the following things to say about Linux, when she went to download The Sims from a torrent (I installed qBittorrent for her iirc).

"Linux is better, there's no need to download anything"
"Still figuring things out, but I'm liking it"
"I'm scared of using Windows again, it's so laggy"
"Linux works fine, I'm becoming a Linux user"

Which you can imagine, it filled me with pride. We've done it boys. We've built a superior system that even regular users can use, if the system is set up to be user-friendly.

There are a few gripes I still have, and pitfalls I want to address. There's still too many options, users can drown in the sheer amount of distro's to choose from. For us that's extremely important but they need to have a guide there. However, don't do remote administration for them! That's even worse than Microsoft's tracking! Whenever you install Linux on someone else's computer, don't be all about efficiency, they are coming from Windows and just want it to be easy to use. I use Mate myself, but it is not the thing I would recommend to others. In other words, put your own preferences aside in favor of objective usability. You're trying to sell people on a product, not to impose your own point of view. Dualboot with Windows is fine, gaming still sucks on Linux for the most part. Lots of people don't have their games on Steam. CAD software and such is still nonexistent (OpenSCAD is very interesting but don't tell me it's user-friendly). People are familiar with Windows. If you were to be swimming for the first time in the deep water, would you go without aids? I don't think so.

So, Linux can be shown and be actually usable by regular people. Just pitch it in the right way.

So we have this HUGE ass project , really challenging , that my boss and "PM" have been meeting with the client for months now...

I got on board , guess what?

NO ONE HAVE A FUCKING CLUE ON WHAT THE FUCK THEY WANT!!!!!

ALL FUCKING GENERIC REQUIREMENTS!!! WHAT THE FUUUCK!!!

[ insert fucking pitch screaming!!!! ]

FUUUUUUUUUUCK YOU!

I once had to make a shitty canvas game as part of a marketing campaign when I worked for an agency, for fuck only knows what. You dragged a shopping trolley back and forth in an aisle, and got points for catching items that fell from the top.

The initial round of feedback had the complaint that sometimes players weren't receiving points for items. I spent a night playing this senseless game over and over, but I never failed to get the points for an item. I was pretty confident that it worked, it wasn't like the logic was complex, so I sent it over.

Second round of feedback had the same complaint. They were getting quite annoyed by it, said that it was a bad user experience. Again, I could not reproduce it at all: the game was an equally tedious waste of life on every device I tried it on.

In exasperation, I asked the sales guy whose pitch it had been to get me a video or a more detailed report. The client was quite arsey, as they saw it, at having to do bug-fixing for us, but they did agree.

Anyway, it transpired that they were angry that players were not receiving the points for the items they *failed* to catch. The way they saw it, the game wouldn't be fun if you were punished for not catching items - so they wanted the player to get ten points for every item on screen, regardless or not of whether they caught it in their trolley. Of course, I thought. Silly me.

I was actually quite impressed at how a marketing department could accidentally undermine the very notion of a game whilst seeking to make one more fun.

- Get invited to apply to job
- Technical interview, guy shows up late starts small talk wasting time and gives me the exercise
- Start implementing the first algorithm, finish it passing min test cases then realize there's a solution that would make both algorithms a breeze
- I pitch my solution realizing there's no much time left, cuz we lost almost 20 min of my test hour talking about BS plus the almost 10 min he arrived late, and reassure the interviewer it can be developed faster
- Interviewer says it doesn't matter, we should finish edge cases
- Kay no problem, finish the first algorithm successfully and explain pitfalls on the second part with the current implementation
- I tell him there's a better solution but he doesn't seem to care, he says time's up

Now here's the funny part.

I get called by the recruiter today (2 weeks later) and she says "They are happy with your soft skills but feel there are some gaps with your coding, they would like to repeat the technical interview because they didn't feel there was much time to assess the 'gaps' ".
Interviewers, either I'm competent enough to work for you or not, your tests must be designed to assess that, if you see you can't fit the problem you want in the time you have left change the problem, reschedule or here's an idea...LEAVE THE BS CHITCHAT TILL THE END AND START THE INTERVIEW ON TIME. When I do interviews I always try to have one complete free hour and a one algorithm exercise because I expect the candidate to solve it, analyze it and offer alternatives or explain it, I've never had someone finishing more than 2 an hour.

You can keep your job I'll keep my time. I'll write a similar problem on the comments to pass on the knowledge for people who enjoy solving these kinds of problems, can't give you the exact same thing, also tip guys don't do NDA's for interviewing it makes no fucking sense trust me no one cares about your fizz buzz intellectual property.

Dev: Ok refactor this following block of code to make it more readable/maintainable while still ensuring the tests pass

*** Block is an absolute mess of nested ternaries, poorly named functions, single letter variables and outdated comments. An underhand pitch if there ever was one ***

Interview Candidate: Why would you refactor code if the tests are already passing?

Dev: …… NEXT.

!rant
My friend has to pitch an idea to his info security class. He whipped up this image

Hackathon rant.
So I had my first hackathon ever.
It was about co2 reduction which is pretty neat but our team leader had a different view on this. He only saw money in his idea so we build a smart energy meter that advised the user on how he should control his energy. And if the user had solarpanels or something his overtake of energy would be converted into a crypto currency and transferred by our Blockchain system.

The idea is pretty cool but it had no real co2 reduction and way too customer based. Which kinda sucked for my first hackathon but our business guy gave a amazing overwhelming pitch about stuff we didn't make at all. And somehow we ended up on the third place yay

Participated in a hackathon two weeks ago.

All 3 winners were established startups or had already developed product. All they did was, come, sit, eat, spare time and pitch.

Did organizer mistakenly named it HACKATHON 🤔 ???

Though, made it to TOP 10 and got incubated at incubation center of organizer

Started off as an ok pitch. I was an advertgame developer at the time.

This company wanted a medieval styled platformer with a simple progression system that would integrate with their game store. Sounded like a fun project but when I created a planning and offer they immediately rejected it because they figured anything over 400 dollars was too much for a non AAA game...

Some people... lol

The worst part of hackathons are schedules which leaves no time for actual coding!
I was once at 2 day event. Day 1 contained an intro lecture, 'getting to know your team' exercise, idea generation phase, idea feedback from industry people, mandatory coffee breaks, and a little bit of coding at the end.
Day 2 consisted of 'adding thet final touches to your hack', a random lecture from the company hosting the event, info from the judges on how to pitch, a trial run of the pitch and then the final pitches...
I barely think we got to code for 3 hours.

Rant=True

My sister who is quite a bit older finally realized that I can develop actually develop since releasing a phone game.

Obviously, she had to pitch her idea for an app. The idea was to be able to take a picture of food and have the program automatically recognize the food and ingredients and tell the amount of calories.

Does she think because I can develop on a mediocre level that I can make recognition software better than google?

Having to explain why I couldn't bc I sucked in comparison to large companies confused her.

I will be pitching my startup idea for the first time in my life to potential investors one on one after qualifying for a second round in a business competition.
I am nervous 😬, desperately need to get the fund, and haven't been a good presenter.
Background: the business is still on prototype stage.
I stutter by default if I am slightly nervous.
From feedback my prototype is great- but my pitching might not be too great.
Damn I just have less than 6 hours to pitch.
Fuck this nervous mess.
Dev wish me good luck😶

After 2 interviews and an make home and pitch project...

'Sorry we were not really looking for a new frontend developer'

Like... How?!?!

So yesterday i went to this live theatre drama and i had an extra ticket. I asked this random guy the way to that theatre and apparently he was looking to get ticket for the same show. I offered him my other ticket for free.

We introduce ourself to each other and i came to know he worked as salesman or something. As i talked about my job, I told about me leaving job in hopes of self employment.

*Cue the sales pitch*

He started talking about some scheme kind of thing to have financial freedom. He talks about how we can get products at upto 15% discount and we have to sell them to others.

I was skeptical about it and he talked they have website as if that will pimpress me or something.

I visited the site and i was not surprised at all. It was nothing but an halfassed e-commerce store. I knew it was halfassed and probably setup by the "CEO" himself.

And the products in that site are nothing but stupid cosmetic products!

And to top it off, you have to spend around $200 to join this scheme. This poor guy doesn't realise he is just being a talking puppet to that halfassed e-commerce business BY PAYING THEM!!!

He even said one of his friend in London took leave to join this scheme or whatever... What a stupid friend.

Anyway, i just regret giving away a ticket to some stupid people like him. I'd have been much more happier if i had just thrown the extra ticket in the trash.

People suck!

Found my first website... Ughh....

Dear email marketers:

I don't owe you anything just because you bought my contact information from some sketchy company. If I was interested in your garbage sales pitch I would fucking reply! Quit nagging me for a response and go get real jobs you fucking twats!

GF: How was your pitch to investors?
Me: it was great (... went-ahead to talk about the daunting process of the preparation and motivation).
GF: Why do you go through all this process, when you can become a fraudster, you can use voodoo and make it even easier, in less than 3 months you can buy a duplex, nice car and we can go shopping... you don't need to do any human ritual unlike before - I heard you can even meet a chief priest to make it faster for you.
just get the bag abeg (slang for getting rich quick).

Me: Fuck the day I met you, not everyone wants to be a low-life, and fuck out from my life.

Men if you live in a saner society, or you are born to elite/upper-middle-class you don't how lucky you are.
Most times I wonder how I keep my sanity with all these shitty people around. like messed up society where almost everyone is a fucking deep hypocrite
.I know I need to change my circle but how the fuck do I do that when I am surrounded by fuckstards, which are far worst than Gypsies.
lowlifes with low dreams.
I need to get the fuck out of this place!

FFUUUuucccckkk me sideways. So I decided to look into USB type-c's power delivery and alt modes. Cause I kinda want to make an adapter card to run my displays over a single cable. TLDR of the rest: USB-C has some huge capabilities which noone is interested in using since its way to complex to handle for what its worth in the end.
Now PD alone is kinda ok to deal with since a lot of powerbanks use it and some hobby guys documented how to work with it. I find it really odd thou that you NEED to use a dedicated IC for using the configuration chanel to negotiate how much power you can draw. Why the USB standard didnt use some simple 5V low speed signalling? Also the standard says that you only have to implement 5v 0.6A with every other power level being optional. (This is also true for cables. Most manufacturers use only the USB 2.0 standard for them and brag about how fast type-C is. ლ(ಠ益ಠლ) )
Now to the alt modes. These motherfuckers are a real shitshow to deal with. First you need a Mux to deal with USB-C's two way insertion, so your signals wont get flipped. Next thing is that you have four lanes at your disposal in alt mode. Which you can either use for four Display Port Lanes or two DP lanes and two USB 3.0 lanes. (You always get USB 2.0) Now you may think that there would be one simple chip to do it all? Nope you need atleast two at the price of 6$ each. One for PD and one for Alt modes. Both are very hard to solder (QFN, 0.5 mm pitch 40+ pins) TI ended up being the only one with a decent offering of IC's that do what I need. As for working with them, you would think that you just slap a simple MCU on there that communicates over I2C or SPI to configure the chips? Nope! You program the chips memory from which it configures itsself. And the programming is done with some TI tool which gives me no idea as to how you can handle everything whith no control logic behind it.
Looking into alternative IC's leaves me with cypress semi. And their documentation is basically a total mess. I wanna know what that chip is good for and what I need to do to make it work. I dont care about technical details mixed with marketing jargon nobody understands. And I really despise that I have to register just to download a datasheet. Especially since there is no info about it on the main page.
And this whole rant hasnt even touched the topic that USB-C only uses DP and nothing else. So you better hope that you have DP++ so you can use a passive conversion.
This was my Ted Talk about USB-C. Some info in it may be subject to my stupidity and errors as it currently is 02:15 in the morning and I need some sleep.

Am I the only one who doesn't understand apple card? Like really, it's just the worst pitch ever!

"Apple card. Made by apple. Not a bank" that's a REAL ad I saw today. Why would you trust APPLE more than an FDIC insured bank with decades or (in some select cases) CENTURIES of experience in finance?

"No more card numbers and CVV"
Cool. I get it. Card numbers get leaked and stolen. But that's why banks insure cards and reverse fradulant transactions. How an I'm supposed to use it on Amazon?! I'm sure they have an answer. Like maybe one time use generated cards. But they haven't advertised it yet, and that's a problem!

Why do they think people want this!? And even more so, because I've seen some people are excited: WHY DO PEOPLE WANT THIS?! why is apple trying to make everything?!

Friends pitch: so it's like a podcast but livestreamed on the internet.
Me: So Internet radio?

How often do you experience someone pitching an idea they want developed, which is so poorly thought through that when you ask them to elaborate, they turn sour and you never hear from them again?

If you are one of all those awesome developers and hackers and I only understand 20% of your rants then props to you and keep scrolling :-D

But if you are a young developer, fresh grad or just learning programming I have an idea, how about a mentor?

This literally just pop in my head right now while cleaning my kitchen!

I'd be learning along your side and also having lots of fun! I don't have any formal experience providing mentoring but have some education credits and patience.

I'm gonna stop the sales pitch because it's annoying even me! but Idk, i just thought that maybe there's someone else out there interested in mentoring services :P

So my grandma just called me saying that there is something wrong with the computer and the UPS is making a weird noise. When I went to find out what's going on, the UPS was beeping constantly and the computer was in the middle of a startup repair. Obviously there is no way to cancel the repair, and unplugging the UPS would probably do more harm to the computer. So we had to listen to that constant, loud, high-pitch noise while waiting for the startup repair to complete. And mind you, I'm talking about a very old and slow computer with windows 7 on it. After the repair was done, I quickly turned off the computer so I can reset the UPS and save my eardrums from burning in hell.

The worst thing is that I've downloaded the documentation of the UPS, and there was no mention of what a constant beeping means, it only described the meanings of normal beeping patterns (battery low, etc...).

My eyes are still ringing and my ears are still blurry from 20 minutes of that noise.

Socialism is mediocrity, often comes with an unattainable utopian pitch. But you either get dictators or demagoguery and corrupted enforces. Don't believe me, but study history. Full of worst of worst examples when tried in every country that got enticed by it. Best to maximise individual freedom rather. Capitalism.

Get triggered you dumb fucks. xD

Rant r = new Rant(Rant.TEAM_PROBLEM);

Three months ago, a senior, one year older than me, decided to join me in doing startups. He said he's good at finance stuff (his parents are fund managers), and he is interested in startups just like I am. He treated me very nicely, so I gladly accepted him.

I'm currently working on many projects, and some of them won me quite a few awards, most notably on the national competition. I also got invited into startup incubator programs, met some awesome people and offered free scholarships at universities in my country.

He frankly said he joined because he wanted to learn about startups and have those "privileges" too, and I'm cool with that.

Anyway, the problem is that I'm the one doing all the work. He's really nice, doesn't claim anything whatsoever, but the thing is he doesn't have any skills whatsoever except soft skills like communicating. So, I'm horribly tired from working alone.

My tasks mostly involves full-stack development, such as planning the specs, designing and developing frontend for mobile apps and progressive webapps, developing microservices for the backend, up to deploying and maintaining the servers. It's a lot of work for a single person to handle in such a short timeframe.

Not only that, but I'm also the one handling the business/marketing part, albeit I'm still learning. From doing paperworks, pitches, business models, up to creating advertising materials for the product.

I'm obviously not the smart ones like the people out there, but I keep focusing on improving my skills.

So, he said he could help me, and I let him try. What did you think he did?

He made pitch decks using default fucking PowerPoint themes, shooted a demo video with his phone cam in 320p potato resolution and expect me to "add some effects", gives me loads of requirements when all we needed was a simple feature, copying and pasting prior documents in my paperworks which doesn't make any fucking sense at all, and quite a lot more.

Also, he said I should stay in the developer zone only while he maintains the business, whilist he obviously can't do much in the business part either. Seriously...?

I'm okay with his lack of experience, considering he's nice and all, unlike the other business guys I've met in the previous rants. However, I keep questioning myself why he is here in the first place when I'm the one doing everything anyway.

What should I do? Maybe just keep him and recruit more experienced people to join us, as he's not that much of a burden? What do you devRanters think?

Thanks for reading, fellow devRanters! 😀

Currently our companies website is being attacked and we're getting a 500 error and the FTP servers are down. Everyone is panicking. Little do they know that I just rebooted the server and already sent out a notice of this happening and will be back online. People are chanting for my death outside my cubical with fire and pitch forks. HURRY UP AND FINISH REBOOTING SERVER!!!1!!

I worked at a company that had timers on the lights. If you were in a stall for 10 minutes it would go pitch black. You either had to hope someone was coming in to pee soon or open the stall and wave your hand hoping the motion detector would see it, and hope no one was about to walk in. Keep your Kingdom Rush games short.

We had a course where we, the students, got connected with companies who could pitch ideas for us to choose. So we were to develop something for a company for free, but that probably won't be so bad, right? When the course was over we told the company we would fix any critical bugs that appeared after the final prototype was developed. We only had 8 weeks to complete the project, and that includes documentation (project plan etc) and other "school stuff" like an essay on what we've learned and so on. In other words, didn't have enough time to develop what the company was really looking for. Still those guys is bugging us about minor bugs they want fixed or "could you just implement this feature" . The course is over, they have all the source code so they could hire someone else to do it (or us, you could pay us you know?) but nooooo they think we owe it to them. We gave them a fully functional application to use, free of charge, but that still isn't enough. And they threaten with "but you can use this in a future resume" (yea we had to sign a NDA). Fuck it, am I being a whiny bitch?

We have a course in our uni where we're given a client and are supposed to make a product for him.
> Only, our client happens to be a startup guy.
> He's already mentioned that his app is worth 'multi-millions' countless times.
> And has already given us a job offer in his startup.
> And has offered to pitch the app to investors if we do it right and split the profit (He seemed almost convinced Google would acquire it).

All of it before doing any market research, testing, business planning or prototyping himself.
Yet people ask me why i hate on the hyped up startup ecosystem smh :/

I decided to go freelance/contracting. Headhunters keep pitching me permament roles (and I love watching them run out of pitch lines :D )

Headhunter: This job can't do your asking salary, but can offer career development.

Me: Already did that. was Engineer, then Architect, then CTO. I'm actually stepping back to be an Engineer.

Headhunter: Ok well, in this job you can do things start to finish, see them through to the end.

Me: I actually get bored after a while. Prefer change.

Headhunter: Well this place has a great culture and fun atmosphere!

Me: It's an insurance company mate...

Overhearing your boss pitch the application you're currently working on to a client as an effort to save them from leaving, only to also hear him list features that were never discussed as part of the application launch.

Well, some guy at one of weddings I've attended, when he found out I was a dev, he started his pitch about shopping mall maps. Even tho I was quite drunk, I easily explained him this idea sucks and told him it's a freaking Google maps feature..

Holy fuck is it sunny , just spent last 2 days in office 😅 pitch black ... Oops

Stupid ass nimble fucker of an old friend talks to me for a whole week after a reunion saying stuff like "I'm glad we got to spent time together bro and stuff", the soul eater of poop being sets up a conversation over a week talking like he was a true friend. He only had to manage it for a week more, hell he had to resist his urge for a puny ass week and I would've considered that maybe good people existed. Well the universe along with this Pseudo-panty fuck decided it was time, they pitch me an "idea". Well after demonstrating kindly that I could technically pull (n) such ideas from my virtual butthole. The guy finally believes his idea was stupid and moves away. A minute later. SURPRISE MOTHER FUCKER! he says, telling me that he got an amazing idea along and if I could help him with some stuff. Well.. What? I jumped at this amazing opportunity. Not because of the dangling-dickina of an idea, because this was my way out of this misery fucks life. Alright should buy me some time right? He would go watch some tutorials, make a logo and call me when there's a problem. We'll in the milli fucking time that even a big bang couldn't have recurred, the bitch calls and says.. Bro, sorry for disturbing you, I need some help... [What did your mother from another son tell you she only gave birth to half of you?]
APPARENTLY, THE GUY JOINED FORCES WITH SOME INTELLIGENT MINDS AND SETUP A LEAGUE OF LIKE MINDED NECROPHILES AND I COULD HELP THIS DREAM TEAM with a name and a logo.
It started, I could sense it. I wasn't THE CHOSEN ONE. Tired, I said I'll see what I can do while attempting to block his number. A few hours later, he calls from another number with no shame and asks BRO? DID YOU. Did me what you bloody dick lubricator. Yeah I watched your mom a couple times, then I got bored when I found out it was an ad.

Unfortunately no I did not tell that, instead I used the kindest words I could pull out of my frustrated ass to tell him I won't do it cause I have better things to do.

The guy comes back a few hours later with an emotional back-story of how this is his way out of his sad ass life and saying stuff like sorry to disturb you bro, I never meant to.

Oh my gawd! Give this douche manufacturer an Oscar. Actually give him two!!

————

After this traumatic experience I often feel for such people. They have around 90 years to live. They have a free fucking brain. They have money. They have less problems.

Why can't they come up with a worthy idea with all these factors to compound the ideation process.

And why on the earth can't they make the Idea on their own. I'm completely self taught so I don't see it being a problem. I could well say that I'm more knowledgeable than a few grads out of my stupid college but I don't wanna compare myself to those stupid beings.

If you have an idea? Make it. Die for it. But never approach another being, either he eats you or you eat him.

So my startup warned me last night that I would have to pitch. Goddamn guys, really?! Pitch for a minute in front of ... PEOPLE?! WTF were they thinking?! I'm a fucking dev, not a HR guy for crying out loud

The new CTO promised us better coffee in his introduction meeting. Honestly felt pretty trivial and part of his used car salesman pitch to us.

A month goes buy and he replaces our shitty drip Starbucks breakfast blend coffee with ... Starbucks coffee machines. I shit you not these things have touch screens on them. So I tried two cups of each bean type and ... this stuff is really really bad. It's literally worse than the drip brew. It's so fucking terrible I have trouble finishing a cup.

God damn it!

Data Disinformation: the Next Big Problem

Automatic code generation LLMs like ChatGPT are capable of producing SQL snippets. Regardless of quality, those are capable of retrieving data (from prepared datasets) based on user prompts.
That data may, however, be garbage. This will lead to garbage decisions by lowly literate stakeholders.
Like with network neutrality and pii/psi ownership, we must act now to avoid yet another calamity.

Imagine a scenario where a middle-manager level illiterate barks some prompts to the corporate AI and it writes and runs an SQL query in company databases.
The AI outputs some interactive charts that show that the average worker spends 92.4 minutes on lunch daily.
The middle manager gets furious and enacts an Orwellian policy of facial recognition punch clock in the office.
Two months and millions of dollars in contractors later, and the middle manager checks the same prompt again... and the average lunch time is now 107.2 minutes!
Finally the middle manager gets a literate person to check the data... and the piece of shit SQL behind the number is sourcing from the "off-site scheduled meetings" database.
Why? because the dataset that does have the data for lunch breaks is labeled "labour board compliance 3", and the LLM thought that the metadata for the wrong dataset better matched the user's prompt.

This, given the very real world scenario of mislabeled data and LLMs' inability to understand what they are saying or accessing, and the average manager's complete data illiteracy, we might have to wrangle some actions to prepare for this type of tomfoolery.

I don't think that access restriction will save our souls here, decision-flumberers usually have the authority to overrule RACI/ACL restrictions anyway.
Making "data analysis" an AI-GMO-Free zone is laughable, that is simply not how the tech market works. Auto tools are coming to make our jobs harder and less productive, tech people!
I thought about detecting new automation-enhanced data access and visualization, and enacting awareness policies. But it would be of poor help, after a shithead middle manager gets hooked on a surreal indicator value it is nigh impossible to yank them out of it.

Gotta get this snowball rolling, we must have some idea of future AI housetraining best practices if we are to avoid a complete social-media style meltdown of data-driven processes.
Someone cares to pitch in?

i have been working on a web-based game and this is my daily routine (also i listen to rock and metal)

college to home to coding
thinking
coding...
looks like theres a small bug
shouldnt take much time
maybe this can work
*screaming*
i am not the first with this bug *here i come stack*
dont do this to me stack... theres suppose to be a fix for it
*extreme head banging*
F*** it
*changing songs*
nope this not helping
F***
F*** THIS SHIT
*rhythmic head banging*
oh god kill me
F***
am i really that bad
*autistic screaming*
humming song instead of thinking of bug
(8 - 8:30) me: mom i am hungry
this shit is taking toooo much time
*high intensity screaming*
F*** you bug
coding, its not form me
*surfing devrant*
*felling i am normal*
(10 - 10:30) mom: when are you eating
*high pitch screaming*
i am leaving coding for sure now
its too late time to sleep
fml its late again, i am gonna miss the first lecture again
back to coding

A thousand year later...
Bug status: Still not fixed

So I have a hardware project which requires two spindles to move something. Turns out one of the two i ordered has a sliiiightly smaller pitch than the other. Therefore it to moves slower than the other one and shit doesnt work.
FuckThis.exe I go to the hardware store and get two M8 threaded rods with nuts. Install it and it works. This shizz has less backlash than both spindles combined and cost 1/3 of just one propper spindle.
This is pretty much the first time I've seen the shitty solution work waaay better than the propper one.

A young Programmer and his Project Manager board a train headed through the mountains on its way to Wichita. They can find no place to sit except for two seats right across the aisle from a young woman and her grandmother. After a while, it is obvious that the young woman and the young programmer are interested in each other, because they are giving each other looks. Soon the train passes into a tunnel and it is pitch black. There is a sound of a kiss followed by the sound of a slap.

When the train emerges from the tunnel, the four sit there without saying a word. The grandmother is thinking to herself, “It was very brash for that young man to kiss my granddaughter, but I’m glad she slapped him.”

The Project manager is sitting there thinking, “I didn’t know the young tech was brave enough to kiss the girl, but I sure wish she hadn’t missed him when she slapped me!”

The young woman was sitting and thinking, “I’m glad the guy kissed me, but I wish my grandmother had not slapped him!”

The young programmer sat there with a satisfied smile on his face. He thought to himself, “Life is good. How often does a guy have the chance to kiss a beautiful girl and slap his Project manager all at the same time!”

You know your office is cool when they stock Baja Blast and Pitch Black.

New wave of startups using blockchain tech in their pitch deck. I wonder how many of them are full of shit and its just a replicated db?

!dev

It’s midnight, I’m alone in the big house, it’s pitch black outside, I had a few beers already and I thought it would be a good idea to watch some horror stuff..

I want to go out to have a smoke but I’m scared as fuck now.
There are cats running around in the dark and there are so many great opportunities for some alien zombie monsters to hide and sneak up to me..

Think I became too old for this shit.

HELP!!!

Someone should pitch a new TV show centered around an internal dev shop of a large company and use devRant as source material. Years of available content.

Fucking hell, why does the phone decide I can't use my last 4% of battery for the torch function? Fuckers, you can imagine that if the user does that, it's really needed right!? Give a warning or smth. It's not like that 4% is good for a phone call either. What's the point of that last 4% battery then.

I live in a park 5km from outside village center. When it gets dark in the middle of nowhere, it gets black, really black. So, I was cycling home and my bicycle light died. And halfway, it was almost completely dark so I wanted to use the torch on my phone so I could at least see if I'm still on the bicycle road. That's how dark it was and it fucking refused. But then - someone caught up from behind and could follow that person until my exit (one I would've never had found anymore) cycled a hundred meters in pitch black until I saw lights of the park. God dammit, fucked up experience. If that cyclist with light wasn't there, I would've had to walk and hoping I was walking in a straight line. Normally I already go before it gets that dark because bicycle light nearly isn't enough.

And that all, because those fuckers decide what you do with your last battery. Fuck you.

Same for headphone, if ten percent battery left, more than a hour, it starts beeping every minute. So I have to listen a hour that the battery is almost "dead"? Almost dead is 5 minutes left fuckers, not whole hour!

Who designs these things?

We've reached the stage where "not stealing your data" is a valid marketing pitch for AI.

Me: Are you hacker?
Him: Yes, of course!
Me: Which Linux do you use?
Him: Wtf is Linux?

"Hacker", you said enought... -_-

> be me
> studying 1.5 years liberal arts stuff and general education class at community college
> transfer to a 4 year university.
> realize I need a major
> Realize I also I wanted to 9ne day have a family.
> realize family would need money
> "struggling actor" not a great choice
> pray about what I should be doing
> get distinct impression that instead of attending the session on majors at the college of fine and performance arts to go to session with the college of Science and engineering.
> hear pitch for computer science.
> signup for introduction to programming taught with c++.
> A couple semesters down the line take 3 classes all at once Discrete Math 1, Linear Algebra, and database design and administration.
> around week 6 realize that all 3 classes revolved around sets and set logic and set math.
> realize rdbs's are "applied" set math and that Each class a little more "applied" than the former.
> Be genius at SQL and set math
> havereally smart database teacher mentored me
> get introduced to the recruiter at the career fair.
> get interviews
> get flown out for 2md interview
> get internship
> do work, and get project back under budget
> a job offer
> finish senior year
> start as a "real" developer supporting business data and analytics.
> ???
> profit.

Client: I want a fixed timescale and cost on this project.

Me: OK, what do you need?

Client: We need to integrate our website with our CRM system, which we're in the middle of rebuilding and don't know what data will be available from it. We also want sophisticated Google maps integration, online sale, digital agreement signing and a customer login section that works as a social network for our clients. And we want it in six months time. And an app. And we want you to pitch for free with some initial design concepts. And we want details of you project management strategy.

Me: Ok... Do you know what you want your app to do?

Client: Yes, it's an app! So how much will this cost me?

Me: D':

Unreal Engine fun continues...
so I need to set limits to rotations within a skeletal mesh. So in other programms, like blender, you can specify a limit per axis, setting max and min angle. Makes sense, right?

Unreal Engine:
1. Let's call rotations sometimes xyz, sometimes roll pitch yaw, and sometimes swing1 swing2 and twist so that nobody knows what it is anymore.
2. IK node 1: limits? what are limits?
3. IK node 2: ok, you can set angular limits but they are all symmetrical to god knows what and to all axis apperently.
4. Physics: yeah you can define joint constraints but we give you only symmetrical constraints also
....
WHY. Were does this make any sense? One node is not like the other, and they talk rotations but use 100 different terms for them, since, hey, why the f not. And let's limit everything symmetricly so you can only set one value or have to fiddle with offsets to achive the range of movement you want.

I mean, one could just stick to xyz (or even roll/pitch/yaw, whatever) and min/max but hey, that's one extra field and then it would be easy to use. Who would want that? ....

When you're pitching to a whole team of clients at a resteraunt, and you find out a minute in that their WiFi is terrible. Pages that take less than a second to load take 30 seconds. Talk about first impressions. ....

UI development is like...
Solving a jigsaw puzzle...
In pitch dark...

I hate it when people quit in the middle of a project. I was building an app with a guy and he recently said: "I don't really feel like I want to make this app anymore". This is so annoying! He was the second person to quit. There was another girl who quit just a couple hours before we were supposed to do a pitch. Luckily I found someone else to make the app with and he's pretty excited. I hope he will stay. Anyway, has this ever happened to you? I would love to know.

I just finished reading the last chapter of the DevOps Handbook, its an eye opener, but not an easy read. And still recommended.

I've been reading this book for the past year and a half, little by little. It was hard since I started understanding why my work was so frustrating (I'm in System-Cloud-Ops position). The book made sense, while the work did not, it got harder since the book provides solutions, but whenever I dicussed any solutions with management they dismissed everything.
I started to initiate improvements by myself:
Prioritizing tasks I thought were more important to improve the way of work - do now and ask questions later... I got yelled at, I got my managers angry, but afterwards more often then not they admitted I was right.
To make it possible I worked overtime and on weekends, trying to prove a better way is possible, by implementing a long term solutions to solve problems instead of workarounds, automating a lot of stuff, creating labs, preparing presentations and documentation.
Time and time again I tried to pitch more ideas related to DevOps but the managers didn't care...
I know now my burnout started 8 months ago slowly, my hairline started receding, I started clenching my teeth (the doctor said stress was the cause) which was very fainful.
I continued to work but I noticed I was also more cynical, frustrated, and tired.

In the process I neglected myself.
So finally after 2 years and a half I quit my job, to focus on myself, at least for a little while.
I hope in my next job will be better.

In 2012 during a job interview I was asked how did you learn Photoshop. I said by creating memes. My answer failed because the interviewer didn't knew what was a meme so I took another approx 30 seconds to pitch what was a meme.

My 2009 ThinkStation has been running loud for a couple of years now, reaching temps in the 70s-80s at max load (40s idle) with stock settings, fans spinning like jet engines to try to cool it. Only recently (today) did I consider that maybe there's dust stuck somewhere, so I took the fan off my cooler and began the hunt there.

IT WAS FUCKING COVERED. Half of the fin intake area behind the fan was completely clogged up with dust. I was starving the poor thing and I never figured out why until now.

I deep-cleaned the entire system, and now it's running a gentoo install with all cores maxed running compiler tasks... Fans are much quieter, barely above idle noise, the main difference is just pitch of the noise because of the higher RPMs.

I dont have the firmware installed to measure temps, but I will update once I get that data.

Specs, in case anybody is curious:

> Xeon W3520 4c/8t 2.67Ghz
> 8GB DDR3 1066MHz
> RX 460 2GB (my student-budget upgrade)
> Dual 500/750GB HDD

I was recently asked to do tech support for an event being designed by webdesign and business students

All they asked me to do was generate a qr-code to their site. -_- took 10 seconds on a website. I even matched their color theme

Yet their rsvp system is to email an event account and they count the number of emails. Why wasn't I asked if I could set up a better system rather than a simple qr. I just learned about this and it's too close to the event to setup a better system and pitch it to them

Okay this is 3.30 AM . Just woke up from bad geeky dreams. My heart is pounding so fast that I could nose bleed and I can't sleep as I am remembering I had the same dream last night.

Dream was about : me being astronaut. Everything was usual. From rocket launch to be in space. Scary part was my ship in orbit of moon.

Seeing dead land from that height chocked me. Imagine you are looking out of the window and all you see a big grey land and pitch black in background. Realising there is no one out there was spooky.

The scary part was I launched some satellite but crash on surface. It was scary seeing something going smaller every time. Crashing on deserted land was one plus on adding fear.

Then my ship leave the orbit (from the reverse shock of that satellite dittachment ) and it flow away in the vastness of space......

Away from the moon and away from the earth in long loneliness.

I wish I could erase this from my memory but I am not gonna watch space exploration video anymore.

I got to say, landing on moon is one thing but being out there knowing one accident and you will be forever there. You need balls to be on such missions.

Team lead: guys, we need to brainstorm on feature X. We can have this service do blah blah..., have a cache at blah blah...

Me: I think it's too complicated. We can simplify the design by doing blah blah... and measure the performance as we go, let's not do premature optimization.

Team lead: no, we definitely need this. We'll pitch this to the CTO later

*Later when we meet the CTO*
Team lead: Hi Mr CTO, about feature X, we're gonna do this blah blah... what do you think?

CTO: *basically repeats what I said*

Team lead: Thank you for the insights, really helpful. We will do as you suggest.

WHAT THE FUCK?

Went to a 15 minute meeting to discuss an app I’m working on. Nothing I’m the agenda seemed aimed at me and I figured I was there just to pitch in as needed.

Took 2 hours and I ended up leaving with three weeks worth of work and the single most complicated workflow I have ever heard of. I do not get paid enough for this.

How did pornhub pitch their idea to investors?
"...making the world a better place by enabling people watch porn faster and reliably"

Innovation week is upon us! Rejoice and delve into the years of tech debt to be refactored within one week!

Why does anyone pitch "innovation week" as a fun learning experience when a we are doing is cleaning under the rugs? We can barely get typical feature requests out the door in a week due to the overbearing demands of SAFe and Agile ceremonies.

So I've spent the past 2 months or so integrating a payments provider with a terrible API, only to find that the provider is missing a core feature that they claimed to have in their sales pitch. I have no idea what will become of a large part of my work, it's so draining to work around a total garbage API

The correct amount of applied test time is often subjective. My theory to objectify is this.

Plug a tester into the mains supply.
Turn the juice on.
When his screams reach a certain pitch, you objectively know QA is done.

Thoughts?

I swear to fucking god if one of my colleagues is going to yell "hosting" again at me (note they do it in a higher pitch than their normal voice)

I'm going to break something..

@dfox you need to create a site and app like stack overflow and keep this app, so that we can solve problems here and have fun too.. :D

I got their financial support to pursue higher education in CS and move abroad.
However, I've never really got their constant emotional support. Each decision I was taking, I always had to prove myself, which can be tiring and unmotivating, since I'm expecting uncoditional love and support from my parents, not an interview and a selling pitch for myself every time I tell them something

As the head of the Web Operations team of my college, I managed to compose quite a convincing pitch on college mail, as a call for interns for the team during the summer. The basic idea I explained to people was that even if you aren't a pro, you can still try and apply: you have one week to impress me with your CSS/JS/PHP skills(Really basic stuff in the problem statement; I didn't even make all of it compulsory), and encouraged them to start from scratch, cuz that's how I made it last year.
Last year they had around 30 responses in 7 days - I got 42 responses in 7 hours itself. I could shut down the portal cuz of far more than enough responses, but where's the fun in that. ;)
I'm not a good programmer, I'll admit, but I certainly benefitted in this field of being the head of the web ops team with knowledge and experience my non coding friends keep sharing with me. Not having a lot of code buddies didn't turn out to be so bad.

It's not much of an achievement, geez, there's literally everything left to be done for a whole year, but well, good start!

Having other people pitch you to hiring managers, raise the hype, and profess faith in your abilities is kind of nerve-wracking. But I found a tutorial to teach me how to write a compiler and it’s not in a language I know, so that’s fun and distracting. Been up since 4am. Is now 12:30am. Should probably sleep.

You look through your apartment’s peephole and watch a man pitch backward out of sight and hear them crashing down a flight of stairs and wait for paramedics to arrive ONE NIGHT and your stupid lizard brain decides to amp you up when you want to sleep every night afterward.

How do you guys get sleep?

Okay, THAT was trippy.

Soo.. I slowly srart feeling uncomfortable. It's that feeling when you want to move your body to make it go away. Stretch an arm, move a leg or smth... Alright, no biggie - let's move something. But then my focus is overwhelmed by darkness. Hmm... I must be asleep. There's some soothing humming noise in the background. And that feeling's still there. Aaaahh, the numbness is now going away - I must've moved smth! Good job! Drowning back into sleep now. It's ssooo ssweet...
*outage*

*notions of awareness*
huh? What's that? Oh, right, I need to move again. That humming sound is so relaxing.. I'll move smth to change that status quo. There, much better now. Let's keep the eyes closed and drift back to sleep. It's so dark though...
*outage*

*notions of awareness*
ahh, that feeling again. Come on, I've moved like 4 times already. Well alright, alright, it's better to move that open my eyes or roll over.
Wait...
I can't roll over.
I can't even move my hands. Fuck, must be that sleep paralysis kicking in again. No biggie, it'll wear off if I stay aware long enoug........
*outage*

*...?...*
...nough. What? Did I nod off? That's weird. Meeh, nvm. Why is it so dark though... Okay, let's try to open the eyes. *attempts going on for ~a minute*. No luck. That humming sound, so soothing...
I feel some clothing on my - must be the blanket. So warm.. Nice.I'm feeling - prolly the paralysis is wearing off! Good. A few more minutes and I'll be free to roll over

let's try the eyes once again. Hhhrhrhhh! Nope, not working. Wait, what's that? I turned my body! But somehow...Weirdly. Too easy. There, I did it again! Why is it so easy and I am still feeling paralysed...? Wtf is going on...?

That humming. What IS it..?

Wait! My eyes opened! It's pitch dark in here. Why...? Usually there's at least *some* light in the room. Am I still asleep? Naah, that's not it.. I'm turning my body again. Why did I do that? Wtf is happening?

That humming sound is getting louder and louder, taking all of my attention now.
What is it I'm feeling with my feet? It's hard. And cold.

Wait... AM I STANDING??? What the fuck?!?

Why am i standing??? And that sound - that's... That's... A vent fan in my bathroom!!! Am I standing asleep in my bathroom...? In the middle of the night...? Facing the mirror...? With the lights off....?

WHAT THE FUCK DID JUST HAPPEN?!?!?
HOW THE FUCK DID I GET THERE?!?!?
How long have I been here...?

I HAVE QUESTIONS!!

Fuck it, I'm tired. Time to go to bed. It'll be one mindfuck of a storry tomorrow though...

Tips on getting promoted on work:

1. Collect a list of all improvements and achievements that u did during your time in that workplace

2. Compare your output with your colleagues output, check their MR's, their complexity and compare with yours.

3. Talk with your manager about a raise. Tell him about your achievements, like maybe you are working on a wider scope than others. Maybe you are mentoring junior devs. Or maybe you deal with a bigger workload than others but still deliver on time. Maybe your communication is good or maybe you document stuff very well and in that way you make your team more efficient and increase team output. Whatever. Pitch and sell yourself. Also provide some personal reasons why you need a raise, like maybe u have kids or maybe your rent doubled. Inflation and so on. Selling point is that u are a human not a greedy bastard.

At the end of that talk the manager most likely will say that he needs to speak higher ups, he needs to gather feedback from your colleagues and so on. Give him a week or two if possible, no more.

He will probably get back to you with an offer. If there is none start applying, get an offer and put in your notice. In my case I waited 3 months for my raise to go through. I put in my notice, had a stressed call from manager, showed him my offer and my raise was arranged the next day.

Facebook is the new job wall. Seen someone posting asking for a business partners for a new web dev company. Funny thing is, when asking in the holes in his pitch he goes on the defens

when you pitch an idea for an app to your SO and he initially shoots it down, because "why would anyone want that" but a few days later, changes his mind in response to his friend's Facebook post

I actually want to rant and pitch a product idea here:

So I am furious when i found out Gravit Designer made offline mode premium only, seriously what the fuck. And Figma is getting no progress for the offline mode either - even lacking grids that I need (I might do isomorphic and I also need grids to keep things aligned).

To be honest I liked Figma more now than Gravit (screw you Corel for fucking up a great platform). So that's why I want to do something similar to Gravit Designer, universal and all, works in browsers, without the forced paywall in my face.

I always forsee premium as a way to add features to products when you need it, and as a way to let a developer know they're doing a good job. I want to make this kind of model stick, and it seems with the money-hungry fuckwits of Corel on Gravit, it ain't happening.

So that's why I want to build an designer app that does what Gravit does, except, I want premium to be more ethical, giving all the core features, add more customizabilty to the interface, and actually make the designer workbench yours. Heck, if its possible we can have Google Drive/Nextcloud integration as well for those who want cloud saves.

I badly want to do this because I believe someone out there shares my sympathy. Gravit was a nice product but was ruined by Corel's greedy paywall system. I won't be paying 99 monthly just to get offlline mode. Affinity and Figma's model is better.

Corel you fucking suck

What do you think about Dart? They pitch it as an elegant language for everything: browser, WASM, servers, plus every native platform with Flutter.

On This Episode of Ghetto Medium..

Posted after midnight for extra spooky effects. Read in the dark at your own risk. You've been warned.

So my mother has been on a binge watching shows like long island medium (apparently the taller your hair the closer you are to god or something), and every time we talk she begins at length to talk about, you guessed it.. 'ghosts.'

Now don't get me wrong, I've had some 'spooby' shit occur in my lifetime, the sort that will tighten your sphincter faster than bill cosby asking you if you want some koolaid or grape drank, but I digress.

The ghost talk is tiring. Lately theres been a *flood* of these new shows, purportedly showing mediums and people who can 'look into the other side' and I realize just how vapid and ridiculous it's all become, as if they all are being personally haunted by the ghost of John Edwards burnt out husk of a career. Theres long island beehive big-hair medium, celebrity medium, allison DuBois (the inspiration for that one sappy show *medium*) whos red hair and vacant stare speak of glimpses into centuries past like an intimate unseen horizon. or maybe she forgot to unplug her curling iron in a hotel one time and has been rendered permanently catatonic. And who can forget *Beyond With James Van Praagh* (everyone) whos face, as measured by the width of his mustache, appears to be expanding at a constant rate like a bad image macro edit thats been memed and repasted a thousand times. Then theres Chip Coffee, whos name is about as believable as his teaching degree on the show *Psychic Kids* where he mentored, again, you guessed it, *psychic kids*. Of course theres Tyler Henry, a youthful, uh, "flamboyant" medium for celebrities with ghost problems. Never trust a man with two names, this ones no exception, he looks so clean cut hes either secretly mormon, or secretly gay, maybe both. I'm not judging, but I am saying if I ever saw his clean cut, smooth, wrinkless (seriously, how tyler? how?), all american face, say smiling that subtle smile outside my kitchen sliding glass door at 3 am, his face watching me from the pitch dark outside, I wouldn't at all be surprised, except for the hospital bill I'd have to pay after shitting a brick and needing anal surgery.

At this rate we have mediums popping out left and right, like clowns at one of them R.L Stein nightmare carnivals, or beggers outside a methodone clinic. Geez, they're coming out the wood work, like those painting you see with hidden faces in them, or wheres-waldo posters, only you're trying to find the non-waldo guy amongst all the characters because they're ALL waldo: goofy acting, goofy dressing, and just all around goofy looking.

At this rate I'm fully expecting "pet medium" (starring a character named Stephen King and his marital problems, played by johnny depp eating way to much corn), and "haunted objects medium", and "car medium" (it's just seinfeld in a car, talking to psychics instead of other people), and "ghetto medium."

Today on this episode of "Ghetto Medium"..

Medium: Teneesha, aw yeah girl, u *definitely* ded gurl, uh huh! You WAY to white too be alive, you done passed over gurl!

And in the next episode of Ghetto Medium, one man claims "every time I bend over I can hear "wOoOoOoOoO!, Is my asshole possessed? Find out is it real or fake, and what our verdict is in Ghost Medium, episode 3: A Haunting In My Nether-regions."

Cut commercial break.

"Jerry Springer: One women asks, 'jerry, is my unborn child's foreskin haunted? And later today we ask the crowd, would you have sex with a ghost?"

Welcome to American television 'programming' in 2019.

Yes, it's all brainwashing.

I was in a meeting yesterday where a junior dev was pitching an idea for a mobile game. He starts explaining the rules of the game. Here's what he said "Each Players starts off with 5 BALLS 🏀 and when 1 players ball is hit said player loses 1 BALL…" His presentation was excessively laced with mentions of BALLS.

PS: Never pitch a BALLS idea unless you've got BALLS.

Task: blinking light.

Boomers: One lightbulb, one bimetallic strip.

Zoomers: LED (D13), Atmega328P, Atmega328, 5V, 16MHz, 2KB SRAM, 32KB flash, 1KB EEPROM, FT232RL, 19.0mm x 43.18mm, 16 analog pins, 14 digital I/O pins, 6 PWM pins, 2 resettable fuses, 8MHz external crystal, 16MHz external crystal, 12MHz crystal, 0.5mm pitch, 0.1 inch headers, 1.27mm pitch headers, mini-USB, 3.3V regulator, 5V regulator, 16MHz ceramic resonator, 1N5819 Schottky diode, 47uF capacitor, 100uF capacitor, 10uF capacitor, 100nF capacitor, 0.1uF capacitor, 22pF capacitor, 1N4007 diode, 10K resistor, 4.7K resistor, 330 ohm resistor, 10uH inductor, 27 ohm resistor, 2x3 ICSP header, reset button, LED (D13), green LED, red LED, yellow LED, 6-pin header, 8-pin header, 28-pin DIP socket, 6-pin FTDI header, ceramic resonator, USB mini-B socket, 16MHz oscillator, M7 diode, LDO voltage regulator, 3.3V regulator, 5V voltage regulator, polyfuse, 22pF capacitors, 100nF capacitors, 10uF capacitors, 47uF capacitors, 100uF capacitors, 1N4007 diode, 1N5819 Schottky diode, 16MHz resonator, 0.1uF capacitor, 330 ohm resistors, 27 ohm resistors, 4.7K resistor, 10K resistor, 10uH inductor, 22pF capacitor, mini-USB connector, 8-pin header, 6-pin header, 2x3 ICSP header, reset button, ceramic resonator.

Am I the only one who likes to see milion variables? Like I assign variables for everything. :) If yes, is that normal?

After working on an app for 2 months, my non technical cofounder says "and we're going to support RTL soon" in her pitch.

*facepalm*

What does this mean? I genuinely don't understand this job title. Is he doing his sales pitch in python or something?

Spent all day yesterday making an iMovie trailer as a pitch to try to encourage a company to hire me because their application page said cover letters were 1990s and you should do something different. And then I couldn’t just attach the thing to the application, so I ended up writing a cover letter and adding a “TLDR, a la movie trailer” and a link to the YouTube video. Let it not be said I didnae put effort into job searching.

So, I have to begin with saying that I was 19 and my first real job. I was assigned to ongoing project for big german web company who outsourced project for german government. I am fast learner so I quickly ended up as a only developer who works on this project, because company had another important projects. And since I studied outside of my native country and I can speak Polish and English so I was also responsible for explaining everything to customer during meetings. I worked for around 4 months on the project and was heading up to the end. 3 weeks before production deadline client wanted show the results to the german government but I was still working on the functionality. My boss decided to put the web team leader to my project around 8 hours before this presentation to speed up the development. around 30 minutes before the pitch I realised that some of the latest functionalities stopped working. I was trying to figure out what I did I asked my team leader, he said that he have refactored some parts of my code. When we found the right commit it was around 3 min to presentation and after the checkout some of the .htaccess file was broken so I fixed it quickly but Germans started the meeting a bit earlier. The website was crashed almost half of the presentation. After 5 minutes my boss come to my desk and he says that he just talked with our customer and they are so freaking mad and pissed that they will not pay us. At this point I was certain I'm fired...

Suddenly the web team leader joined the conversation protecting me that it was the fault of the project menager because he should assign someone else to this project because even though I am good it is always good to have someone more experienced to work with you and review your code.

Project manager was fired about 3 months later. I was saved 😀

When I was at my previous sales job, explaining the same sales pitch for the 987345284th time, listening to my customers' every irrational need, I suddenly realised I wanted to work with something rational and logical. Best insight of my life!

So we have this local competition and i was tasked to pitch in some help. 2 weeks before, we get a problem with the database so we pull someone from another team to fix it since our hands our full. But his PRICK OF A TEAM LEAD is forcing him not to do it because "It's not priority". So day of the competition - EVERYTHING WAS A MESS. The competition was forfit. We tarnished our company name. BuT his PRICK OF A TEAM LEAD suddenly comes in POINTING FINGERS AT US SAYING "they dont communicate and dont seem competent enough" OHHHH SNAP YOU UNCULTURED GOOSE PRICK FOR TWO WEEKS YOU IGNORED US BUT WHEN WE WENT DOWN YOU SHOWED YOURSELF TO THE BOSS LIKE "it's because they didnt rely on me" WELL KISS MY ASS PRINCE NOT-CHARMING. I really like my company but some people are just TOXIC.

That one time when i just got my first job and I was new to everything aaaaand my aunt have already started to pitch the idea of me making some company with one of my second cousins (because he was studying for some business degree and i was the tech one)

I mean, I understand the wish to do things "in family", but family and money should never mix imo

You've developed APIs. And they're working locally.
What's the issue in giving that to the front-end team to consume them ?? ( Said in angry raised pitch )

Somebody please let that dumbfu manager know that the codebase needs to be DEPLOYED on a server somewhere. Without that, you just can't magically build code from codebase and give it to people like code fairy !

Have to work on Windows for a DLL integration project, how does Microsoft managed to build something so disgusting to human eyes for all these years?

Dark mode in Visual Studio Installer is actually pitch black, hello? Common sense? Basic human-computer interfacing? Basic color scheming?

All these installations, frameworks, version management...

Why am I dipping myself into this bloatware shitshow?

Does sending spam text messages really bring results? Omg, I bought a domain name once without paying for privacy and oh how I regret it. I can't imagine anybody ever being like, "Oh wow, thank you for reaching out to me with that product pitch, that's exactly what I was looking for, please, take my money!"

First job out of school was for a company that did Cold Storage as its main gig and custom dev as a minor form of additional income. I worked with one of the owners and another guy as a three man agile team.

Except, the owner didn't trust source control, so we didn't use it. There was no organization, instead the owner would come in every morning, and assign something new. Randomly, the owner would come in and pitch a fit that something he had assigned 3 weeks before, immediately pulled us off of the next day, and ordered us to DELETE the code for, wasn't done. He treated the other guy on our team as his personal whipping boy. He would sometimes go 2 or 3 days without saying a word to me. No project to work, nothing. I would sit there all day with nothing to do. I stayed there a year.

I just finished a hackathon that actually turned out to have been a pitch contest. They invited me to work my ass off for the whole weekend and didn't even bother to ask for the finished project.

???

My idea is really good actually my startup is doing great now.

But my first time pitch was a terrible one in front of a small investor. He trolls me but now in bootstrap mode we have more than 50+ customers world wide

Last Friday a coworker told me he was planning to go to a local hackathon in the city that weekend. Then I asked him to tell me what was the app they had planned to build and he said: `Oh no, I can't tell you, a lot of ideas have been stolen this way`, I thought that was rude by not telling me but whatever.

Today, I came to work, saw him and asked how did the hackathon go and he looked at me with sadness and said: `Dude, we screw it up, we had to left the contest`, `What?` I said, `Yeah, a couple of hours before the pitch some guy came to us to review what we were doing and we presented our idea, "an app to track bus routes" and he said "there is already a local app that does that and it was the winner of a previous contest`. I told him that I knew that app and her founder, he said he wished he had told me the idea last Friday so they could pivot to something else and not leave the contest.

Conclusion: Ideas are worthless, execution is everything.

When you apply for a job, what is your top-selling sales pitch?

I have trust issues because of my J-Music orientation. Why, you ask? Simple. I cannot trust the vocal.

For example... Reol, while sounding like a Vocaloid and is what I'd been seeing her as for quite a long while (1 year) because of her inhumanly-high-pitch sections turns out to be human. Welp. And almost at the same time I discovered that Yokomin, while have a human female vocal turns out to be a guy and a Vocaloid. And 5 days ago I found out Mafumafu is a guy, human, despite his high female vocal.

What. What the fuck? Do check them out though, their music is good (ie. not corporate pop)

iOS 14, two thoughts.

1. It manipulates people. They added app gallery and now when you try to delete app it asks you if it should rather hide it into the app gallery, exploiting your hoarder bias so you have more apps and thus more notifications if you haven't disabled them. That's a no from me.

2. It fixed a LOT of bugs and annoyances. I quit next js because of the exact same thing being important to me — they were busy doing only the new features to constantly pitch and lure investors, they never responded to issues and never fixed anything. I'm happy that Apple realizes that it's important to fix bugs.

Overall I'm happy. My iPhone X is pretty old already (87% battery capacity remaining) but it's much faster with iOS 14 than with iOS 13. The main thing is reduced latency pretty much everywhere. Especially the screenshots, I'm barely detecting the click and the screenshot is already done. No perceivable latency if you ask me. New refreshed look is amazing, backside tap actions are cool, new music app is amazing.

People tell me that apple is forcing you to buy new gadgets with updates but explain to me then WHY my old iphone X got much faster with new iOS? That's a contradiction. If I buy a new iPhone it'll be because of dead battery (that's physics and not exclusively Apple issue) or just because I want 120hz and lidar bokeh.

I hate relatable/anxiety/cringe posts, but I need to talk about this.

Sometimes when I try to sign and focus on hitting notes and making it sound good, I get a sudden flashback to something weird I did in the past.

It's either something extremely cringey/embarassing or just plain out asshole'y, mostly from when i was a teen.

It's weird how sudden and vivid the memory of these actions get. One second I'm singing, the other I'm clenching my stomach thinking "oh god why did I do that?"

I also make the signing turn into making weird fucking noises and going very off pitch.

Some people find it easy to let go of the past. Not this guy.

How do you share some feedback about certain things to your peers?

A little context.

Within our team, me and another person are two senior folks and we are the ones who are answering all the queries to external teams, product, issues, incidents. Obviously we are seniors so we tend to lead by example and try to handle as much as we can. But this is giving the junior folks a nice getaway to not pitch in and scale and handle things as well. They are happy to sit back and when me or the other senior person is not available, their response to all the queries is that we dont know because we havent worked on it and then when we come back, we respond to those.

Also for the work, what usually should take 1-2 days, takes 3-5 days for these guys. 3-5 days of work gets delivered by them in 2-3 weeks. And the reason again, this is new, i didnt not get this and i have facing this issue. In all of this, our lead is quite laid back as well and doesnt inquire more about why things are constant getting delayed from their side.

The side effect of this has been that more critical and time sensitive things gets pushed to us senior folks even more and we are seriously getting bogged down by the amount of work.

We want to question and point out to these junior folks that they need to scale up, but we feel a little helpless since it might make them more hostile and retaliate. Why are we saying these when our lead is not saying anything. That will be their argument. Plus it will create an unpleasant working environment which we dont want either.

We think of talking to our lead, but again, I am not sure if that would be considered as bitching about them.

Some just know how to talk the walk. Wanna pitch a ridiculous idea but don't know how to execute the plan. I give up on people these days.

Confuse clients with techie sentences as you pitch🤣🤣

I felt like crying at a startup pitch event..great ideas. crappy presenters
..

Hello, people of devrant, i dont have alot going lately and im always trying to find new ways to make money, im still applying to jobs of this type, please visit my github, if anyone wants to reach me, please do so.

Has any else noticed the True Tone brightness on IOS 13.6.1 going really dark at times to the point it's almost pitch black?

I've had to turn it off and on again a few times for the brightness to be correct again.

Co-Worker (mechanical engineer): I have an amazing idea that I want to pitch to you!!
Me: Whats the idea?
Co-Worker: Let's make a social media app where you send a drawing to other people and possibly doodle on pics. The drawing or picture can't be saved and it's directly sent to people or a group.
Me: That's SnapChat.
Co-Worker: Oh...well my idea is cooler.
Me: *Rolls eyes* go back to work.

I was probably 5 or so.
This was during the time when i heard that dial up modem sound from my dad's "computer room" every night when i went to bed.

The computer had a huge CRT monitor which made that annoying high pitch noise but i loved playing with it so much i didn't mind.

My dad installed a Croatian knock off version of Super Mario from a floppy disk he got from a magazine (i still have it lol).
Every time you died you'd have to start the game again by typing "mario" in CMD. Me and my sister played it so much we became pros.
He also tried explaining how he codes in Turbo C but i guess i was too young to understand it.

Ok I know this is stupid question and not rant, but I just finished school and need to go to the high school and want do build some projects. So I'm pretty good with HTML, CSS, PHP, MySQLI, and in high school I want to learn python. I already know some stuff with python I built programs for 'hacking' but I don't know what programs do I need to learn to build if I want to work somewhere... Sorry if my English is bad.. :)

Hey, so i am a junior dev and work on core services of the company. The work is great, my team is great and manager is pretty helpful. I have been with the company for almost 3 years now and was my first role out of college. My manager has been really relaxed in working with alot of my irl stuff and seems pretty leniant than what i usually hear from others.

Question is there is a smaller company trying to build a new team in my city and is offering an intermediate role with about 30-40% increase in salary if i clear the interviews. Is it a good idea to switch if i am really comfortable in my spot and even during the pandemic my company was super stable.

Also i have been hinted that might be getting a promotion by the end of the year or something like that. But when i asked bluntly about the compensation change i wont be getting as big of a change as the other company. A friend suggested that i go through the interview process and use that offer to get better comp, i have read somewhere that that tactic might be harmful in the future. Just wanted some pointers or anything you could pitch in :)

When sharing your nomination for a webby becomes more important than your actual software development work mh.tl/vote

Spent more than 15 hours working on a very complicated Sharepoint workflow (don’t laugh, I had like four people telling me what they needed). I pitch the workflow and they’re like yeah it’s awesome except for everything that you did!

So I had to delete two parts of it, and am now essentially rewriting it from the top. I feel like dying and coming back just to haunt these people.

Aside from DevRant, what resources are available to pitch an idea in the hopes of recruiting a few developers for a side-project?

After one year working part time (10%) as new consultant in the company, the consultant calls the technical director in the evening and asks: "hey, how much do you think it will cost to rewrite a SaaS platform somewhat similar to ours from scratch in outsourcing and scaling from the actual 500 customers to 500 thousands? I need to know by tomorrow morning, as we have a pitch with investors. Do you think it's ok to ask for 500K$? Actually, I can only ask for 500K$."

I know my development skills are getting better because I am having more people pitch me ideas....to many ideas...

A long time ago I got an idea for an Internet concierge shopping service that would pair you up with a human to help you comparison shop anything. Obviously this was before AI or the kind of tech we’re used to now. The idea was that the help of a real live person to help you track down deals was better than some of the emerging product recommendation engines I was researching. I figured I’d at least make a short term business out of it until tech caught up. So I built the site, DB, and business logic and recruited my bargain-hunting wife to help people find good buys. It worked ok, but wasn’t easy to monetize because people wanted her help for free rather than pay any kind of fee. Their perception was they weren’t saving a substantial amount if they had to pay someone to help them. Of course, our pitch was that by paying someone to help them, they might avoid paying more by trying it on their own.

It was an interesting experiment anyways.

First time pithing about startup concept in startup bootcamp, 2 fucking dead air (fuck....)
but I'm able to finish my pitch in time.
(Feeling relief now)

Ok so I'm buying new laptop, any recommended items?

Partial thoughts, are thoughts that sound like they should have more to them. However they are intentionally left short to create a sense that more is to come. This creates a state of anxiety in people and their desire for closure. The sentence is more effective if you say the last part of the sentence with an increasing pitch. This indicates there is more to the story. When in fact there is no more to the story.

Here is an example:
"I saw this guy walking down the street..."

People will automatically assume there is more to this story. So they will say something like, "And then what?" The response is: "That is it. That is what I saw." This is the peak time of frustration. They may even argue with you or storm away. Be prepared to be called names.

There is actually some history behind this.

...

Hehe, no, I am not going to leave you high and dry. In high school a dude I knew would always make fun of my friend. So I started doing these partial stories to the dude. He would get mad and storm off each time. I would do this several times per day. So it can be a tactic to deal with difficult people.

I just want to find out how single code that isn't changed can work but after that don't... :/ Hate that

[ not rant ]

Hello everyone, so I just finished school and I need to start high school. But between we have summer. So im interested if you know some sources where I can get job [15 years old] if I can get job bc I think I'm a decent programmer [HTML, CSS, JS, PHP, MYSQLI]. Thank you

Sticker giveaway!
I really need help in designing an icon for my reddit app. Just the main icon. Please pitch in with concepts, sketches.. The best entry shall get my stickers.. At the very least you'll help a brother out..

We've been asked to develop an app, normally we counter-pitch the 'web' prefix because it means one codebase, but they don't want that so...any suggestions for a decent cross-platform framework? App is just text and video, nothing too taxing for the device.

Alright, let me pitch in. You have no real reason not to be a dev, cause there are lots of other jobs that are just plain shit.

You can create a long list of well thought out reasons for not to, especially the seniors. I like to see things in perspective however.

Has anyone here already tried to pitch their app on shark tank?