It's funny because it's true

One company i applied for never wanted to give me the job because they where building a prototype and they wanted someone familiar with their stack to get things up in a short time span.

*Fast forward 7 months*

The company i work currently with has been developing prototypes for startups to help validate their ideas and guess what, the bunch above came to our company unknowing that i work here and i have been put on the project as a lead.

Lol man, you cant write this stuff

This is when writing a script that sets up your dev environment pays off...

Having 6 new employees join our startup. The script installs pretty much all dev tools and apps as well as sets up the device management profiles. 😎

Dear Misinformed idiots,
Just because you watched Silicon Valley doesn't mean you actually understand how Software Development works.
-We don't sit in front of a screen in an AC room googling funny pictures
-We don't think of new Algorithms by pretending to be jerking.
-We don't "get lucky" with our code, it takes hours of studying and research to come up with a solution which actually works.
-And we definitely can't just "create the *next* Google", THAT is not how it works.
I swear to the God ya'll love and cherish, the next person to approach me to turn their shit idea into "The next big thing", I'll leave everything aside and drive a screwdriver through your neck.

- An Engineer tired of everyone's never ending shit storm.

Startups!

Young UX startups be like

Writing code for a startup without signing a contract first...

Startups are like JS frameworks.

The more you encounter, the more you realize how useless 90% of them are.

Advice for a Startup

Fresh out of college?
Entry-level?
Apply Here!

Junior Web Intern: 16k A Year!
Basic Requirements: HTML, CSS, JavaScript, Node, Angular, JQuery, Bootstrap, Backbone, Handlebars, D3, p3, CMS (WordPress, Wixx), PHP, Java (Android), C++(iOS), openframeworks, openGLSL, Cinder, failed at least two startups, 8086 assembly language.

Recommended requirements:
Git version control
Agile development

Must be able to display example of each requirement.

I'll just leave it here.

Success rules for Startups...

Really inspired by looking into this...

It's always fun to get contacted by someone who doesn't code and they want you to code an entire startup for them...

The fun part... Is they will pay you later when it generates money

How startups work explained in js code

I accepted the job for Machine Learning.

I got hired todo the back end.

I actually do the front end.

Friend asked me, "How does it feel being the CTO of a startup?"

Me: "I feel like the main character in one of those cartoons where train, going full speed, is running out of rail road, so he takes rails from behind the train and puts them in front. And the entire thing is on fire. And everyone you hire is trying to put it out with gasoline."

Friend: "Doesn't your CEO help?"

Me: "Well... He had never seen a train before, and he thought they operate on magic and wishful thinking. And he never realized they need rail track to even run. So... not really"

Friend: "So, it's pretty bad, ha?"

Me: "It's great actually. We just closed our seed round. We're about to launch beta. I might even get 5-6 hours of sleep this weekend 😅"

Sad day my dudes... I got terminated from my job.

Startups are rough, I tell you hwat.

Some companies be like-

.. In job posting - We are the next big thing. We are going to change the industry. We are like Google / Facebook etc...

..in Introduction - We are the next big thing. We are going to change the industry. We are like Google / Facebook etc...

.. in Interviews - We are the next big thing. We are already changing the industry. Think of us like Google / Facebook etc...

.. during Interviews - Our interview process is rigorous because we are the next big thing. We are going to change the industry. We are like Google / Facebook etc...

.. questions in interviews - Since we are Google / Facebook, please answer questions on Java, C/C++, JS, react, angular, data structure, html, css, C#, algorithms, rdbms, nosql, python, golang, pascal, shell, perl...
.. english, french, japanese, arabic, farsi, Sinhalese..
.. analytics, BigData, Hadoop, Spark,
.. HTTP(s), tcp, smpp, networking,.

..

..

..

.. starwars, dark-knight, scarface, someShitMovie..

You must be willing to work anytime. You must have 'no-excuses' attitude

.........................................

Now in Salary - Oh... well... yeah... see.... that actually depends on your previous package. Stocks will be given after 24 re-births. Joining bonus will be given once you lease your kidneys.

But hey, look... We got free food.

Well, SHOVE THAT FOOD UPTO YOUR ASS.

FUCK YOU...
FUCK YOUR 'COOL aka STUPID PIZZA BEER - CULTURE'.
FUCK YOUR 'FLAT- HIERARCHY'.
FUCK YOUR REVOLUTIONARY-PRODUCT.

FUCK YOU!

4 out of 10 startups doesn't even have an idea or a fucking aim in life, all they want is a fucking website with fake testimonials to go live.
Fuck those fuckers who want to be CEO's and lure innocent devs into their fucking dream land. Offering unpaid internships with a lame reason of giving an opportunity to work .

MFW I get told “It can’t be that hard, can it?” by the CEO after my team of 4 developers and I couldn’t manage to develop a fully deployable app in a month outside of our real jobs & schooling

I FUCKING hate companies/startups/ANY WORK ENTITY that doesn't respond to job/internship applications , i don't care if it's a yes or a "your application is shitty and you are a shitty applier and there's thousands of appliers better than you" at least give me something to carry on with my internship search .

Even more hated are those who respond with a plethora of tests and don't answer back with results when you do them .

So yeah, I got fed up with assholes offering unpaid internships while demanding the work of a paid employee and I went around reporting all of them for violating the law.

Hope it does something. I hate these people taking advantage of vulnerable post secondary students for their crappy, worthless startups.

Real work of CEO..

#TheCoronaEffect

Before Corona: (Work From Office)

Boss: Let's have a call.
Me: Sure, allow me some time I am assisting the team on a new feature in the app.
Boss: Ok, ping me as you get free.

----------------------------------------------------------

Now: (Work From Home)

Boss: ***Calls for the 15th time in a day...***
Me: (With Bleeding Ears) Yes sir, am here...!
(Having to pick up every single time as he knows you've got nowhere to go 'coz the whole city is in LockDown)
Boss: ***Talks for another 1 hour with screen share***

My Boss is a bigger threat to my health than Corona now!!!

#GoCoronaGo

Tech startups, an analogy:

After 18 years going from help desk teams to NOC teams, telecom engineering and all manner of startups in between I have concluded the following:

Imagine wanting to start an aerospace company because you know how to fold a paper airplane, but not how to actually design and engineer an actual craft that will pass basic air worthiness checks.

That’s 99% of “tech” companies.

Discuss. I’ll make drinks.

This startup I started working for with their shitty code base written by interns, restrictive sys admin who had no actual use in the company since I was the one setting up their servers, know-it-all CEO, stupid HR representative who used to grill employees for being 10 minutes late in the morning, very small apartment "HQ", using fingerprints to signal our entry and our leave to and from the office, no formal process, and, to top it all, monitoring our own laptops which we use for work with a software that takes screenshots every few minutes. In short, it had the worst in corporates with the worst of startups combined in one company.

If, hypothetically, we could overlook all this, I couldn't overlook the horrible smell this place had. The apartment was overlooking a small garden which was a home for many stray cats and dogs. You can imagine how horrible this smell was. The weird thing was that no one there seemed to really care about the smell!!

I lasted there for only one week before I gave my resignation and I believe I had every right to do so.

The hustlers 😎

So, I had a friend who hated VS Code like a fuckton alot however, most of my friends are VS Code users and he's the only one who uses atom. He say that it's greater than VS Code and code then would die sooner.

Fast forward to today, he now ranted at my Discord DM about atom ahving slow startups, extensions that doesn't work, that kind of shit, not to mention hentried to commit improperly indented code (we have nazi style enforcement in out projects regarding codestyle) and made CodeClimate ranted over it.

"That's what you get for shitting VS Code" I said. Hours later, he tried VS Code and he instantly fell in love with it.

One down, more to go

Fellow developers,
For all people asking u to be partners of their "billionaire" idea, and to be paid from revenue ONLY when the plateform goes live or shit like this, BEWARE.
For all of them i had the same answer: "ok, ill share with you the project, but until it goes live, i am the only one who is giving sacrifice, and since we are partners, i want us both to do same level of sacrifices in order to deserve later the share of revenue... That being said, u have to pay the hours of devlopment, all of them, and when it goes live, from the revenue ill get, ill pay you back what you paid on dev cost"

It is the only way to be really even...
And if he refuse, ask them again "why? I taought u where 100% sure that your idea will work and become a billionaire why u think it is risky tp pay few thousands????"
... Now he is having second thaughts

A few years ago I had a startup. I invited 2 friends to join and we split the ownership equally. I did most the work but didn't mind. I had fun. Anyway, the story is not about me. I was in a startup incubator.
There was this stereotypical rich kid in the incubator too.
For the first few months he refused to even share what his idea was.
Finally he was forced to do it. It was an app for storing gift cards. Literally, there were startups for some high tech phd genious types. But the guy with the idea of a gift card app didn't want to share in fear that we would steal his mediocre idea.
His idea was to digitalize physical gift cards without the consent of the companies and make a market for selling, buying and trading (and taking a fee). When asked what if the companies refuse to accept the unofficial digital gift card, he said he had talked to a lawyer that they should accept it or he would sue them. Wow.
There was a guy who had attempted at doing an app like that 2 years before too apparently.
So here comes the part about the work culture.
He convinced 3 or 4 computer science students to develop the app for him. He offered them 1%, no pay. Talking about how rich they would get and how big it would be.
Luckily, one of the developers came to his senses after a few weeks and convinced the others that they were worth much more.
The guy was furious and even threatened to sue them.
He even got like 2-3k USD from some of his parents rich friends to develop the app. He could afford to pay them.
Anyway, the app was never completed.

I have many stories like that from other startups. A lot of students getting ripped off to work for free. I know people who have startups going for years thanks to free labor.

They hire you as an intern and then they make you work like a Tech Lead.

Shamelessly ripped off of /r/programmerhumor

As someone that's been a part of a number of startups also 100% accurate

Most valuable American Startups

Some companies are structured and work as cults.

Went to company party several days ago and felt as if I was 🧠 🧼. The way they talk about the company, people, “mission”, social structure of employees etc. I literally felt as the only one who’s seeing through it.

Note to self: If I were to start my own company, I have to read a bunch of books about cults.

Anyone else worked at cult-like startups?

!rant
What I really like about all these growing startups/platforms like airbnb, netflix etc, is that they open source their cool technologies so that anybody can use them. If you look through their github repos, you can find a lot of cool and interesting stuff and especially it's mostly already battle tested and it works.

Imo this is some really big contribution in turn to the money they make :)

Nature of Startups

Sales executive go and sell the features which are not available in the product.

They come back and inform them to the manager, then the manager makes the request to dev team to do the features.

After all these the discussion will be made in the morning and delivery is expected by evening.

After months and months of slaving away, I quit my start-up job and feel completely amazing- here's what happened:

Met a classmate in grad school and he talked about starting his own company and he had full funding and etc. After graduation, moved to the new city where the job was located.

There were all these promises of us being co-workers and working on cool things and many other promises made. Soon after starting the job, most of these promises we're just smoke and mirrors.

Started working day in day out. Worked from 8am-9pm most days and worked on weekends too. Treated me like a I was a dog, talked down to me, gave unrealistic deadlines, pressured me with attitude and threats of losing my job. Hell, they thought they were the smartest person to touch the earth basically- example being that they mixed jQuery with VueJS in our Django template.....who the F*** does that. Another thing being that they had issues with me soft deleting records since they wanted them completely hard deleted and we had gotten into a giant argument about that fml.

What led to me leaving the job was that I had gotten sick one of the weeks, and I still showed up to work. Each day I was gradually getting sicker and sicker. Still tried my best to get work done. Saturday morning I get the most passive aggressive and bitchy text from my co-worker. "if you don't complete blah blah blah by Monday, we are going to have issues. Then on Monday you will work on blah blah blah". They blew the fuse with me. They would always punish me for being sick or taking a vacation. I'm not a dog, not a machine, I'm a f****** person. Went into his office when the work week started and gave my resignation on the spot and felt like it was the best decision I've ever made.

Now I just feel like a giant toxic cloud has disappeared from my life. I did walk away with so much experience and knowledge but now I just feel extremely burnt out from programming. Is this what I even wanna do anymore?

Few lessons I learned along the way:
1. If it sounds too good to be true, it probably is
2. Free lunches aren't worth it
3. Unlimited PTO doesn't really mean unlimited- there's always stipulations
4. Start-up life isnt as cool as they say- don't take TV portrayals as the real thing
5. Your mental health is extremely important
6. It's okay to admit to yourself that you're burnt out
7. Take a break
8. STARTUPS ARE NOT FOR EVERYONE

This is just my experience and what I learned, so telling my story. Phew, feels so good to get that off my chest

I don't like how being an entrepreneur is glamorized these days.

People make you think that just starting a company will make you rich.

But we don't really pay attention to the hundreds of startups that fail each year. (And that could very well be you).

We only pay attention to those that do make it.

Proven to work.

Dear recruiters and so called "startups".

If you want to attract me by starting with the phrase: "Mobile lead role in Startup" and you go on like...

"We are a startup with offices in Shanghai, Hongkong, Vancouver, San Francisco, New York,... "

or

"We are a startup and also the 6th biggest phone network in the world... "

No thanks, enjoy your startup themed cubicles and fuck off!

Knew the value of the employee...

Dad:Reads about all these startups getting funded
Dad:"We should start a startup....."
Me:😅

A true story.
"Ok you did a very good job during these 3 months, so we think you can go on with us."
"Thanks, so how about the final contract?"
"What? oh no eheh, you will do other 3 months as test because we want to see if you can do also other stuff not only as developer, we need that you act also like a secretary, a tester, a manager, and working again for home after work, and also during the weekend, but we can't pay extra work of course. So, what you think?"

The magic world of startups

Hello everyone, this is my rant.
I work in a start-up as an Android developer and we were looking for our first iOS developer.
After two months searching, some guy was finally hired last week.
My boss already told me he didn't have my programming level, but we needed him because he had experience as community manager and good Photoshop skills, and right now we need a profile like that in our company.
Today the new guy asked me what are setters and getters.
How fucked is my company? Is there hope for us?

Got laid off last week with the rest of the dev team, except one full stack Laravel dev. Investors money drying up, and the clowns can't figure out how to sell what we have.

I was all of devops and cloud infra. Had a nice k8s cluster, all terraform and gitops. The only dev left is being asked to migrate all of it to Laravel forge. 7 ML microservices, monolith web app, hashicorp vault, perfect, mlflow, kubecost, rancher, some other random services.

The genius asked the dev to move everything to a single aws account and deploy publicly with Laravel forge... While adding more features. The VP of engineering just finished his 3 year plan for the 5 months of runway they have left.

I already have another job offer for 50k more a year. I'm out of here!

Fuck startups.

Back when I was an wee lad I interviewed for an startup, not knowing that startups are not real companies. The scumbag interviewer, who was also the owner of the outfit, asked me what I was looking in a company. I said "fair wages, a non-antagonic environment and projects with real roadmaps".
He asked me to elaborate. I said, "You know, if today your product is a sales platform, I do not want to come into work next week and discover it is now an air travel tickets marketplace, or come back the very next day and discover it is now an automated pizza factory, or in the next day and it is now a crypto exchange..."

The scumbag looked PISSED. "Sorry, but we are looking for someone who likes the challenges of a dynamic environment (read: we do not have a business model and we hate the very idea of trying to make money out of our company), and you do not fit the profile"

Startups are not real companies, i.e. they do not systematically charge money in exchange for goods or services in amounts that exceed the cost of providing said goods or services. Most startups are just tax fronts for money laundering schemes. The rest are just playthings for rich assholes who can't get a real output-producing job. Those two categories are not mutually exclusive.

Take Facebook, for example. The poster child of startups. The Zucker that owns it just announced they are setting impossible performance targets on purpose, not even attempting to hide the fact that it is just a way to lay off large quantities of employees without using the words "massive lay offs". Companies, real thin-margin, lots-of-regulation profit-driven companies do not do that. They are not some sort of "capitalist woke", real CEOs just know that if their companies largely miss performance targets on their tenure, purposely or not, next it will be their neck on the chopping block. Because they can be fired if the KPI charts say they suck. But the Zucker cannot be fired, not even after commanding their beanbag and tap beer offices to be heated exclusively by burning hundred dollar bills.
So the Zucker is not interested in performance. Not even in lay offs as expense cutting measures - investors are an infinite source of free money for startups. The Zucker just wants to project power, especially now that engineers are not so confident in the stability of they high-paying jobs.

So are irrelevant 500-souls-or-less self-aggrandizing startups. Their owners are there because it is in vogue to have a startup or ten. And will have that startup pivot to whatever sounds fancy that season. After all, only poor people care about things like EBITDA and profit margins repeatability - A.K.A. "getting more money".

Fuck startups.

So this is a rant about my country and especially my city: Berlin (Germany).
Germany is like a third world country when it comes to IT infrastructure. We have one of the slowest internet speeds in the whole EU. People are still afraid to pay with their card or phone. My people love their coins. While most of the other countries see the importance of the new technologies we still use mainly copper wire for internet. So why am I especially mad about Berlin? Google was planning to bring an innovation campus to our city. They wanted to establish a place for startups and technology. But the people from Berlin demonstrated against it extremely. They didn't want to have a company like Google in their city. I also am not a big fan of Google, but this would be such an important step to a better future for Germany. In a few years Germany will have a huge problem because we are so far behind the other countries. And it is so sad to see that seemingly no one cares about this.

This rant was brought to you by the worst internet in the whole EU

Venture capitalists be like

I work at a startup and our office is inside a collab-space. Last week they organized a workshop called:
"Using the blockchain to prevent loeliness".

And even worse: people were paying to attend it :(

These people in Startups

After solving a lot of problems in codeforces and participating in ACM to make my code the most optimised..
* In my first real job. *
Client: Your program run so fast!! I can't feel if it's doing something or not. Please make a delay of 1 second in your program! 😇
Me: 🙂🙂🙂🙂

Participated in a hackathon two weeks ago.

All 3 winners were established startups or had already developed product. All they did was, come, sit, eat, spare time and pitch.

Did organizer mistakenly named it HACKATHON 🤔 ???

Though, made it to TOP 10 and got incubated at incubation center of organizer

If you're planning to be a new entrepreneur (like me) here's a few things to keep in mind:

1) it'll keep getting harder but it's all worth it. Do not quit mid way no matter how hard it gets.

2) stop asking everyone for advice, they'll either be assholes or you'll end up getting confused by too much contradicting advice.

3) regardless of point 2, people will still advise you on everything (ikr). Listen to them, and if you don't agree with it... Do not bother to correct them, never helps... Just ignore it

4) if some one is an asshole to you or someone shoots your idea down, don't get discouraged. Reflect on it and if it's irrelevant, forget it all. Do not try to be an asshole back, always take the higher road.

P.S I'm also still learning... Hope you all very best for your endeavours :)

It's been nearly 20 years since this episode aired, but it seems like nothing has changed.

!Rant

Best motivation for startups...

Usain Bolt has won 9 gold medals in last 3 Olympics and he has run less than 2 mins on the track. That's economy of effort.

Usain Bolt ran for less than 115 secs in total in his 3 Olympics and made $119 million dollars! That's more than $1 million for each second he ran!

But for those 2 mins he trained for 20+ years!

That's investment.👍

The state of high value startups

One reason behind so many startups today maybe companies treating employees as slaves...😑😑
I am thinking about starting my own startup.😒

Secret of success...

#Startup

Six years ago I quit my last full time dev job, moved to the big city, failed some startups, got job offer as a substitute teacher at the local high school, been doing that ever since.

Being a teacher and following a class over 2-3 years is like having a company with employees whom you have to teach everything, but if you teach them good they can become useful quite quickly.

This year I have taken on a "special" class where many have learning disabilities but some are literal geniouses.

Very hard to lecture about something that grabs all of their attentions.

So if you have any good tips that is more than welcome.

Also I kinda forgot about this app for many years but I remember we used to have a really good community here, so nice to be back here.

Looks like meat is back on the menu boooooois

I don’t have a real way to find a good company.
As a rule of thumb I avoid startups.

This doesn’t mean all new young tech companies are bad. I avoid the startup rethorics. Those are 🚩 for both new and old companies.

And I avoid crypto, nft and other scam businesses. There’s an high chance that the owners will run away with the money and leave you without a job.

Have you heard about the Embrace, Expand and Extinguish idealogy? lets think about it:

Javascript 5 (embrace) -> Typescript and Class syntax to Javascript 6 (extend) -> JS (extinguish) with WebASM.

Atom/Electron (embrace) -> Atom fork named "VSCode" (extend) -> Atom (extinguish) as it was developbed by Github company.

NodeJS (embrace) -> incompatible Node Windows fork with IE/Edge JS engine "Chakra" (extend) -> NodeJS (extinguish soon) with chaos of Typescript, Javascript 6 and Github.

"R" lang (embrace) -> incompatible SQL Server 2016 R lang extension (extend) -> R lang (extinguish soon).

Android -> CyanogenMod (embrace) -> CyanogenMod (extinguish) as M$ "sponsored" Cyanogen Inc to destroy CyanogenMod

Linux (prejudge) -> sponsors RedHat, Debian, SuSE, Alpine and Canonical/Ubuntu (embrace), forces unstable backdoored "systemd" -> Linux (extinguish soon)
Reusing the last image I did because I didnt wanted to make more OC stuff cos the few ++ gained arent worth it

I don't care what idea you have. I am not joining your "startup" as a technical co-founder. I too wish I could go to the store and buy bread with fucking equity

Joined my current company as a Frontend Engineer 2 years back. They recently got funded and started hiring with a higher salary range. Not to brag but I'm pretty good at my job with 6yr of experience but my current salary makes me a lower mid-level engineer now and I'm the only frontend guy here.

So, now they're asking me to take interviews of the applicants who are applying for the senior position.

Why do people have to be such an assholes to the employees, man?

He wanted to hire me as CTO but insisted of defining architecture himself even though he admitted he has no tech background. He insisted that his CRM doesn’t even need backend because “we have database”. He was dysgraphc but completely ignored accessibility, including measures for dyslexic people. He called his product “startup” but denied that startups need to constantly validate ideas and denied the conception of a/b testing, offering no alternative.

He also wanted me to work for free.

Bruh you’re not a clown, you’re an entire circus.

Competitive pay

This has happened to me.
When startups post job they write competitive pay in thier posting.

Then later after interview they off er you $20/Hr.! And thier excuse we are a start up so can't offer much.

Then why the hell did you just throw that word of competitive pay in job description. Just because Amazon and other companies have that in thier posting.??

Don't you feel that competitive pay is a misused term. Almost all job posting have this. I don't get it. What is the competing with ?? MC Donald's ?

P.S. I have 2 yrs experience and worked with a startup and a full time job. And I am not arrogant about it. But when you ask me to do something I am good at I demand a good price. I respect my work.

I failed at 9 startups

Got fired from two companies

Quit three jobs without notice

Failed out of college

Lost all my money on a bad investment

And now I do not have any money.

Linux used to be primarily for developers.

But with most software people use becoming browser based (mail, slack, chat, docs, drive etc.) and with Ubuntu UI becoming progressively more user friendly, most lay people can now comfortably switch over to Linux.

Especially for startups for whom Windows licenses feel expensive. Our startup did the same.

Hiring for my startup right now and this guy decided he's better than what we can provide.
Guy has maybe 6 or 7 years of college, "walked away from" a doctorate, whatever that means, and what looks like 2.5 years at a previous startup, 1 month as a freelancer on web development. But look out! He's beyond startups now.

Blocked me too... 😂

The home of startups

I AM TIRED

warning: this rant is going to be full of negativity , CAPS, and cursing.

People always think and they always write that programming is an analytical profession. IF YOU CANNOT THINK IN AN ANALYTICAL WAY THIS JOB IS NOT FOR YOU! But the reality could not be farther from the truth.

A LOT of people in this field whether they're technical people or otherwise, just lack any kind of reasoning or "ANALYTICAL" thinking skills. If anything, a lot of of them are delusional and/or they just care about looking COOL. "Because programming is like getting paid to solve puzzles" *insert stupid retarded laugh here*.

A lot of devs out there just read a book or two and read a Medium article by another wannabe, now think they're hot shit. They know what they're doing. They're the gods of "clean" and "modular" design and all companies should be in AWE of their skills paralleled only by those of deities!

Everyone out there and their Neanderthal ancestor from start-up founders to developers think they're the next Google/Amazon/Facebook/*insert fancy shitty tech company*.

Founder? THEY WANT TO MOVE FAST AND GET TO MARKET FAST WITH STUPID DEADLINES! even if it's not necessary. Why? BECAUSE YOU INFERIOR DEVELOPER HAVE NOT READ THE STUPID HOT PILE OF GARBAGE I READ ONLINE BY THE POEPLE I BLINDLY COPY! "IF YOU'RE NOT EMBARRASSED BY THE FIRST VERSION OF YOU APP, YOU DID SOMETHING WRONG" - someone at Amazon.

Well you delusional brainless piece of stupidity, YOU ARE NOT AMAZON. THE FIRST VERSION THAT THIS AMAZON FOUNDER IS EMBARRASSED ABOUT IS WHAT YOU JERK OFF TO AT NIGHT! IT IS WHAT YOU DREAM ABOUT HAVING!

And oh let's not forget the tech stacks that make absolutely no fucking sense and are just a pile of glue and abstraction levels on top of abstraction levels that are being used everywhere. Why? BECAUSE GOOGLE DOES IT THAT WAY DUH!! And when Google (or any other fancy shit company) changes it, the old shitty tech stack that by some miracle you got to work and everyone is writing in, is now all of a sudden OBSOLETE! IT IS OLD. NO ONE IS WRITING SHIT IN THAT ANYMORE!

And oh my god do I get a PTSD every time I hear a stupid fucker saying shit like "clean architecture" "clean shit" "best practice". Because I have yet to see someone whose sentences HAVE TO HAVE one of these words in them, that actually writes anything decent. They say this shit because of some garbage article they read online and in reality when you look at their code it is hot heap of horseshit after eating something rancid. NOTHING IS CLEAN ABOUT IT. NOTHING IS DONE RIGHT. AND OH GOD IF THAT PERSON WAS YOUR TECH MANAGER AND YOU HAVE TO LISTEN TO THEM RUNNING THEIR SHITHOLE ABOUT HOW YOUR SIMPLE CODE IS "NOT CLEAN". And when you think that there might be a valid reason to why they're doing things that way, you get an answer of someone in an interview who's been asked about something they don't know, but they're trying to BS their way to sounding smart and knowledgable. 0 logic 0 reason 0 brain.

Let me give you a couple of examples from my unfortunate encounters in the land of the delusional.

I was working at this start up which is fairly successful and there was this guy responsible for developing the front-end of their website using ReactJS and they're using Redux (WHOSE SOLE PURPOSE IS TO ELIMINATE PASSING ATTRIBUTES FOR THE PURPOSE OF PASSING THEM DOWN THE COMPONENT HIERARCHY AGIAN). This guy kept ranting about their quality and their shit every single time we had a conversation about the code while I was getting to know everything. Also keep in mind he was the one who decided to use Redux. Low and behold there was this component which has THIRTY MOTHERFUCKING SEVEN PROPERTIES WHOSE SOLE PURPOSE IS BE PASSED DOWN AGAIN LIKE 3 TO 4 TIMES!.

This stupid shit kept telling me to write code in a "functional" style. AND ALL HE KNOWS ABOUT FUNCTIONAL PROGRAMMING IS USING MAP, FILTER, REDUCE! And says shit like "WE DONT NEED UNIT TESTS BECAUSE FUNCTIONAL PROGRAMMING HAS NO ERRORS!" Later on I found that he read a book about functional programming in JS and now he fucking thinks he knows what functional programming is! Oh I forgot to mention that the body of his "maps" is like 70 fucking lines of code!

Another fin-tech company I worked at had a quote from Machiavelli's The Prince on EACH FUCKING DESK:

"There is nothing more difficult to take in hand, more perilous to conduct, or more uncertain in its success, than to take the lead in the introduction of a new order of things."

MOTHERFUCKER! NEW ORDER OF THINGS? THERE 10 OTHER COMPANIES DOING THE SAME SHIT ALREADY!

And the one that got on my nerves as a space lover. Is a quote from Kennedy's speech about going to the moon in the 60s "We choose to go to the moon and do the hard things ..."

YOU FUCKING DELUSIONAL CUNT! YOU THINK BUILDING YOUR SHITTY COPY PASTED START UP IS COMPARABLE TO GOING TO THE MOON IN THE 60S?

I am just tired of all those fuckers.

So in my 6 ppl dev team management had to do cuts and pulled a jira report of story points sum of the past 10 months, it went like this:

1. 307
2. 307
3. 283
4. 274
5. 257
6. 220

The 6. Guy is a teamlead so he was safe. 4 and 5 guys were fired with zero notice and 1 weeks severance pay (we are contractors).

Best part is that remaining 2. And 3. devs produce very low quality code. But hey, they have enough story points. Managament didnt even bother to discuss with teamlead about who to keep. Workload is the same, we were told to "level up".

You can't make this shit up. US based startups man.

Working for this startup as a remote dev for last 6 months.

This month they delayed my payment by saying that they are still waiting for crowdfunding payment to be processed.

After 3 days my teamlead who recruited me quitted with 2 more people saying that its 'personal issues'

1 week later (today) I received a letter of termination saying that my contract ceases its effect after 30 days and I will receive my payment after 45 days as all service providers.

I reminded those fuckers that in contract there is a clause saying that they are supposed to pay me within 24 hours of invoice receipt (because this is not my first time with startups). Then fuckers responded that I will get paid as soon as they receive the money.

Contacted CTO today and he told me the truth. Turns out that venture capital that supposedly raised funding of around 10 million usd last year actually didnt raise shit. In the end startup did not receive this funding because VC convinced investors that this project is shit and not worth investing.

VC's plan is to starve out the startup by giving it bridge payment injections. At some point they want to buy out the startup and resell it for profit.

And here I am fucked in the ass. But for some reason im not mad at that VC because shit happens. Im mad ar startup managers who kept us in the dark for 2 weeks and dropped us like shit :)

I am really tired of broke startups and their bullshittery.

Silicon valley should have more episodes in a season😟. Who feels the same?
P.S. - T.J. Miller will be missed🙁

Haha most startups in the valley are.

If your startups CEO is the major stakeholder, that’s great.

If your CEO is the major bottleneck, that’s a problem.

Don’t handcuff your employees. Instead enable them to work efficiently and effectively.

I used to work IT in an entertainment startup, and now I’m an iOS dev at a big entertainment company. Several people from my old company have been reaching out to eagerly tell me about their new app idea I just have to hear, asking me to help code their app— and have even hinted at me quitting my nice safe job to join their great new startup that doesn’t even exist yet.

I know this must happen to app devs all the time. What do you say?

How do you deal with telling these nice people who just don’t understand it doesn’t work that way, without crushing their dream? I have a coffee meeting planned to tell one of them “You should learn to code so you can make a proof of concept,” but I fear that won’t be received well.

What’s the standard protocol for telling people you won’t be able to code their magic app idea?

#entrepreneur #startups

Proud to be an entrepreneur...

(tl;dr) Protip: never take internship/training/job offers from startups.

Fucking piece of shit startups hiring innocent interns from University, hoping that they are full stack developers to build their shit website.
"I will throw challenges at you".

You fucking scum, I need a proper mentor to teach me something which is not my fucking domain. You expect me to know nodejs and reactjs, and if I don't know that means there's something wrong with my learning process?!!

I'm looking for an internship which basically means that I get company exposure to proper training unlike being your fucking slave, you uncultured swine.

Seriously, recruiters, these days jack off to google buzzwords.

just received an email about a "hiring tournament", didn't know that was a thing... soo disgusting

"Hello John

How are things going in your career? Are you interested in remote work, at challenging projects in big companies such as Google, Pinterest, Udemy, eBay, and groundbreaking startups within a warm and continuous improvement environment?

BairesDev is holding an exciting hiring tournament, an online competition where you will fight against other developers for the chance to get hired and win incredible awards with the opportunity to be a part of great projects. We would love to see you there!

It will take place on Saturday, November 28th" (but the image says 12th 🤪🤪)

So you are "fighting" other developers for the chance to get hired, what the heck

When I was in school, people came to me every once in a while, wanting to make a new great MMORPG with destructible terrain and factions.

Then came the guys who wanted to make a new amazing app that will help them fix some minor life inconveniences (like tracking expiry dates on the groceries in your fridge).

And now there are guys who want to make blockchain, IoT and chatbot based startups.

I just want to watch youtube and post shit on the internet. :(

This was interview in so called startup.

BTW I don't get point in company calling themselves as startup when they are 5-6 years old, just call your self small sized company.

1 - online interview with HR, Normal.

2 - online technical interview - 1 hour of discussion with Lead.

3. On-fucking-site technical interview - ~1 hour of detailed technical discussions.

4. Coding task- submitted successfully

5. Zoom meeting to discuss on coding task - just told it was good and started discussion on their dead project which was unrelated to job position but I've worked with that kind of thing so it was fine.

6. Trial Day Onsite - Gave me to draw a fucking BPMN chart - fuck you motherfuckers - I knew it was waste of time.

Fuck this kind of Hiring process which takes >1.5 month.

Y'all, are internships in your area paid, unpaid or u need to pay to get one?

Our uni made internships mandatory! being from one of the country which produces largest number of engineers per year. Every godamn student from our uni is running around to get an internship! And there arises these dick heads with so called made up startups which has never done a godamn single project, just legally registered before the dawn and puts up advertisements for internship trainings!! All our uni needs is a fucking certificate from a technical company which is legally registered. And these assholes provide internship to those who pay them hella amount, and attend there couple of days just to get the certificate!! No developers! Just some random guy talking about html and css! Now thats Internship!

Fucking shit! Making money by looting students in their hard times! Students get the certificate that satisfies the uni, but for fucks sake at least bring an expert to guide them! No!! Need to stand up against this shit!

I guess now investors will throw less money on Blockchain startups.. oops but most of them just throw money in 🌊 and pray for good return.

Makes a joke about my work laptop im getting that we should all invest in some game development so we need some new laptops (we develop prototype apps to validate ideas for startups and i never work on proper projects). I get to work and see this.. Omw im so happy..

#forexposure, for experience, flexible hours (especially when coupled with work from home, it makes your workplace too accessible and management can guilt trip you into working at ungodly hours way too easily), and such I'd really avoid.. not that I have much experience with these things though. Oh and also, startups. They're small so very intimate in a way but too unstable.

Honestly though, I have difficulty in working for any employer, especially when that employer isn't a very technical one. Maybe it wouldn't be a bad idea to go self-employed... 🤔

(Sorry for repost, forgot wk144 tag)

Mistakes by startup...

I was inspired by the abundance and uniformity of modern data-selling startups. Despite being different companies, they have a lot in common: questionable ethics, lack of a real business model other than selling data, pseudo-approachable and friendly bullshit aesthetics, talks about dIvErSitY and eQuALitY. Now, I propose one more thing for them to have in common — this logo. I hereby announce it to be public domain now, free to use for all.

I'm so tired yo... I'm on 2 startups, one is mine the other some dude I'm working with. Both sites built in PHP. Another side gig slack bot thing in Node JS. And then 2 day time jobs in which I'm deciding which one to quit out of... 🫠😵💀

My mom asked me to speed up her PC's startup process. I looked into it and and probably found the problem: G Data.

I told her she has to delete it, there is windows defender anyways (and virus scanners are just snake oil). She refused and said: But I bought it from the local IT shop. They said it is the best.

I said: Yeah because they cannot sell windows defender...

She still argued that she paid for it and wants to keep it.

That was were I said: then enjoy your slow startups.

She also said she feels more secure with it. 🙄

I would not even be able to work with that PC! Its not old at all, but the permanent scanning comes at a high cost and probably does not help much.

But she trusts that local it store guy more than me apparently.

Idea matters for an entrepreneur...

#entrepreneur #idea # fact

Been at a startup for 2-3 weeks, hood some presentations about Linux and Foss stuff but they didn't have any work for anyone and as such didn't pay anything.

Pretty shitty.

So a colleague was like "hey man, I seed you making those presentations and stuff but not getting anything back, I think I might got a job for you".

And now I do small data analysis at another company. And get money.

Hadoop was born at Yahoo! Startups like Cloudera or Hortonworks that built their entire business around Hadoop are worth more than Yahoo!

Rant r = new Rant(Rant.TEAM_PROBLEM);

Three months ago, a senior, one year older than me, decided to join me in doing startups. He said he's good at finance stuff (his parents are fund managers), and he is interested in startups just like I am. He treated me very nicely, so I gladly accepted him.

I'm currently working on many projects, and some of them won me quite a few awards, most notably on the national competition. I also got invited into startup incubator programs, met some awesome people and offered free scholarships at universities in my country.

He frankly said he joined because he wanted to learn about startups and have those "privileges" too, and I'm cool with that.

Anyway, the problem is that I'm the one doing all the work. He's really nice, doesn't claim anything whatsoever, but the thing is he doesn't have any skills whatsoever except soft skills like communicating. So, I'm horribly tired from working alone.

My tasks mostly involves full-stack development, such as planning the specs, designing and developing frontend for mobile apps and progressive webapps, developing microservices for the backend, up to deploying and maintaining the servers. It's a lot of work for a single person to handle in such a short timeframe.

Not only that, but I'm also the one handling the business/marketing part, albeit I'm still learning. From doing paperworks, pitches, business models, up to creating advertising materials for the product.

I'm obviously not the smart ones like the people out there, but I keep focusing on improving my skills.

So, he said he could help me, and I let him try. What did you think he did?

He made pitch decks using default fucking PowerPoint themes, shooted a demo video with his phone cam in 320p potato resolution and expect me to "add some effects", gives me loads of requirements when all we needed was a simple feature, copying and pasting prior documents in my paperworks which doesn't make any fucking sense at all, and quite a lot more.

Also, he said I should stay in the developer zone only while he maintains the business, whilist he obviously can't do much in the business part either. Seriously...?

I'm okay with his lack of experience, considering he's nice and all, unlike the other business guys I've met in the previous rants. However, I keep questioning myself why he is here in the first place when I'm the one doing everything anyway.

What should I do? Maybe just keep him and recruit more experienced people to join us, as he's not that much of a burden? What do you devRanters think?

Thanks for reading, fellow devRanters! 😀

Start your career at a startup... Only join a corporate or start your own business few years after that... In startups you'll face lots of issues that'll build your technicality and give you a very valuable experience

Startup

Get one of the 2 startups I’m involved with (one is 100% my own project, other is with co-founders) into a state that will allow me to quit the day job.

Seriously???

!Rant

Fun fact:

The SENIOR backend developer at the company I used to (as of today) work has a degree in economics and business and his only experience has been a trainee position.

No more startups please.... Seriously.... Just.... Don't... No... 😰😰😰😵😵

For the love of god startups don’t need Kubernetes setup. Stop doing this, please.

Happiness is getting free T-shirt from a start up from different country for just signing up their product...
My best wishes to the company..
And thanks for sending it..

Hey guys, Been a while...
Quick status update
Moved out of my parent's house
Now a lead backend engineer at a crypto exchange.
Getting offers from startups without even applying, just referrals
Still underpaid by global standards but very comfortable locally.

1year+ of financial stability

Lots of motivation from the lovely people here when I started out, I'm grateful

!Rant
I got a co-founder for a thing I'm building.
Building this thing will only get better as all the struggles of building a startup thing get wurse.
Today, my rant friends, is a great day.

Sometimes I have to work with physical hardware. There are over 300 machines in our lab, split among two subnets. But for some reason, I can never access my machines by hostnames.

Every other week, there's an IP conflict on this network, requiring me to log into the active directory server and delete old DNS entries. This usually happens because someone decided to deploy 64 VMs on a huge server, all at once, didn't boot them with a delay, let alone with with a warning to IT.

Then when my superior asks how my progress has been and I respond with "I can't even get the machines to ping each other by hostname, there's something wrong with the DNS:, I get the following response: "HOW COME NOBODY ELSE IS HAVING PROBLEMS WITH THIS. YOU'RE FULL OF SHIT", from someone who spends 90% of the year abroad, working remotely.

I was mentoring a group of students and helping them with their graduation project. I taught them NodeJS, MongoDB & few other things.

One time, one of them came to show me her code, and it has the weirdest and most bizarre structure ever!

I asked her, “who told you to structure your code like that? This is wrong! I didn’t teach you this way!”.

She replies: “<<a local shitty tech startup name>>’s CTO”

When I searched about him, he’s a civil engineer who founded a startup and assigned himself as CTO with no technical background or knowledge whatsoever! FFS students believe that he’s a real CTO and started learning from him 😑 His code was so bad in every way that a fresh would write a better code!

Me: *asks boss for the id of his test store so I can apply experimental schema changes to test out a new dashboard app*

Boss: *gives me production store id and doesn't say anything*

Fate: … "You got lucky this time."

This is the CEO of the company btw. Startups. *sigh*

OpenAI is probably one of the most hypocritical companies in history. From the name, to how they copy other startups that build on top their platform, to how they use copyrighted material but prohibit others from using their model for training. I don;t understand how they are so celebrated when they engage in shady practices

If I say, "I don't have co-founder for my startup", it's not that I don't have capability to listen to others suggestion...

The frustration that comes to each developer when he tries to write the code structured by thinking through each situations, and your team lead comes and tells you why r you doing so much validations just hard code them we need to release it today client is waiting. After 3-4 months the same team lead goes through the code and shouts at you telling why the he'll you hard coded all these, can't you write the code correctly by thinking through.

New wave of startups using blockchain tech in their pitch deck. I wonder how many of them are full of shit and its just a replicated db?

Does anyone have experience with alternatives like Preact in industry?

Asking because Facebook has mind numbing license clause which means they can infringe any patent they please, because as soon as we sue, they withdraw our license.

Such a lovely way of supporting startups.

Startups have too much randomization.

Large companies have too little.

This pic keeps me motivated.
It says Great work need time to build their Empire.
What you think??

How old does a startup need to get before you cant call it a startup anymore? Or is age independant of startup status?

#Startup #Funding

I started noticing something about startups here. They all think they r innovative and full of fresh ideas, but they all just copy bigger companies. My old coworker started a small web dev company and they are using php with react, the company ladder is the fucking same as anywhere else.

I noticed these as i was collecting ideas for a company (if i write that word again pls shoot me). So far we are thinking
0) no, or minimal local storage, we would have a github subscription, jira cloud, vps
1) no strict hierarchy, ultimately the ceos would make the decisions but in every meeting we would include even the interns
2) the stack would not be set in stone, java spark and vuejs are good starting points but frameworks exist to serve a purpose
3) like 2-3 days office time per week, if someone wants to work from a café, why not

I've been working like a mad woman in a startup for 3+ years now. They feel like 10. Or at least the tech stacks we went through.
Never, ever join a startup, regardless of compensation, unless you know you can emotionally and mentally recover from that startup failing as if it is yours, not your bosses. Otherwise, it's just a shitty short experience.

My long experience is shitty, but man. I don't know.Those who built google, wanted to make a search engine. Did they know they're gonna be good? NO. This is the result of them being good. They now have that great product that succeeds and is able to become a self-referential piggy bank. You cannot be a self-referential piggy bank based on a fucking belief and idea, and a bunch of VCs who already put money in you. You know why? BECAUSE GUESS WHO IS THE ONE RESPONSIBLE FOR SUSTAINING YOUR START UP NOW?

The bloods and passions of youth, that join your startup, thinking they can make a difference, and you just undermine them constantly thinking that no engineer can make a difference if they can't ensure compliance with your dumb funding strategy.

Don't even get me started on the fact that most people who work for startups, rely on either laziness or passion. It's like a bunch of kids in art school, whose professor doesn't like anything they make, but they still kinda like it hoping one day they leave and become artists themselves. Then they discover that this shit professor actually taught them nothing about creativity in the real world, and what it takes to push something out.

And, it finally fucking hit me.

The reason startups will never work in this year, and beyond, AND TILL I SEE A CHANGE IN ATTITUDE IN 10 YEARS.....

The market won't fucking allow it with the current strategy tech companies are a fan of: hire a bunch of passionate devs who wanna learn a tool through doing our unique work. Doesn't matter. DIVERSITY. THE UNION IS THE PASSION. That's dumb as fuck.
Why?
Here:

- Passionate people do not have to use passion as an incentive, the passion was there, and them getting their idea made or money is the incentive
- If you hire a passionate person - even if they are the fucking best - you just made their passion a tool, in getting your PRs done and shit epics scoped AT BEST, and so the tools you're teaching them to use are getting away with doing less impactful, productive, creative work.

I AM SO DEPRESSED.

Ways to be creative!!!

#creative #entrepreneur #startup

I started watching Silicon Valley some days back. Just finished season-1. I'm fucking sad and pissed off right now... No, don't get me wrong...Silicon Valley is good. I loved it.
Problem is, there is an Indian YouTube series called TVF Pitchers which had almost same story as silicon valley. I loved that series, when I watched it in 2015, after completing that I really was very impressive with the channel because of the originality and very off-the-track plot. Now after watching Silicon valley, I'm fucking sad... THEY JUST FUCKING COPY PASTED IT. yeah, some people with their "courtroom skills" will tell me that no it was different story... Fuck you! It was a copy and that's it. They removed Gilfoyle character and there was no product information in entire series... That was the biggest change in it. But overall it was a copy... A fucking copy.

The problem is they themselves, in their other videos, make fun of our movies/songs because of them being copied... Now, they are fucking doing it on their own.

I know it's not much related to devRant. Sorry about that.

Some times back, I joined a startup and they pitched in their idea as if they created it on their own... Later I found out that the same idea is running in a successful Palo Alto based company. And just like TVF Pitchers, they also used to make fun of an Indian e-commerce startup (a big one) because it was a copy of Amazon... THEN WHO THE FUCK ARE YOU!!!

I don't know, but for some reason I just fucking hate it. Everybody here is busy copy fucking pasting US. They laugh at others, but they are also same... I'm going through Peter Theil's Zero to One.. and the book is making much more sense to me now.

Apple have just killed 95% of low-effort bullshit AI startups. Just about time.

guys/gals, I need your wisdom. Especially from the ones owning startups.

How do you juggle between your project and work at some company (stable income source)? Accelerators, personal financers (mom, pops, best-bud swimming in $$$s, some fat guy in the neighbourhood, etc.), or do you simple multitask btwn daily job and your project?

I'm trying the latter but it's nearly impossible to do anything productive at home after 9 hours at office..

Founder: Are you sure you want to join this startup?

Candidate: 100% sure Sir

Founder: Startups are risky, what if we shut down next month?

Candidate: Sir, I will do whatever it takes to not let that happen

Founder: That’s what I was looking for. You can join at 90% salary cut. That will give us 2 months more runway

So many tasks to do that are piling up for my startup, and so little time with day job taking it all away from me. Ugh

If you think you are smarter than the previous generation...

50 years ago the owners manual of a car showed you how to adjust the valves.
Today it warns you not to drink the contents of a battery.

#innovation #creativity #entrepreneurship #future #management #strategy #startups #whatinspiresme #innoweek #pretotyping #designsprint #mvp #keynotespeaker

Entrepreneurship is much more than just boasting about your so called achievements on social media in every hour. Creating value and solving daily problems efficiently is much more important.

That moment when you get blamed by product/business for a slow feature...
A feature which the same product person demanded you implement two days before the deadline that the feature was supposed to be released at but you never got told about. You end up doing a miracle and the company avoids a lawsuit but you still get blamed for it being slow. Shouldn't have agreed on the ridiculous deadline and left them suffer from their own bad decisions and communication

How many of you feel you learn something on the job?

As for myself, I learn much more from books than sitting day in, day out at work, doing more or less of the same things.

To me, this whole trial-and-error way of 'learning' is not really learning. I don't subscribe to this dogma. I don't 'learn' by messing up and fixing something. I need a full specification of why something works, when and how. I'm not satisfied by just being a code plumber.

This, next to the fact that most jobs in small startups don't provide a budget for you to expand your knowledge.

! Rant
So this project manager from a start up contacted me about a few Jobs are they are looking to get done for their app. They asked for cost and I gave them a ballpark range depending upon the type of work. Anyway, after getting a tour of their over engineered app with 128 menu items for a users to go through to get something done, I gave them the hourly rate on the "higher" side of the ballpark which was $5/hr more than lower. Guess what, next I get an email with 4 huge paragraphs, explaining how I am trying to charge them so much extra and is way over the quote. I passed myself laughing and wished him good luck with their start up...

Entrepreneurship is a gamble. Problem is, you re not dealt any cards. You re dealt a gun with one bullet

OK...so not to long ago some guy I know from my old school contacted me regarding a start-up he was planing on doing...first he wanted me to work for free (which, in retrospect should've been the first warning sign) and then offered me shares of his non-existing company as payment. I didn't want that so I told him that I'll only work for real money. After some discussions he agreed (tho for less money than I demanded) and I started investing more time into the project (talking to him and his partner about what they expect, looking into some libraries and evaluating whether they can be used in the project or not...stuff like that). Some weeks later (some days before I would sign the contract) he calls me and tells me that he had found someone else to do it who would accept shares as payment...fuck that fucking self-righteous prick and his fucking start-up...the idea was stupid anyways...

I think I just miiiight have found a new job, but before, some comments about the state of the data engineering industry:

- Sooooooo many people outsource it. Man, outsourcing your data teams is like seeing the world through an Apple Vision Pro fused to your skull. Fine if it is working well, but you will go blind of your subscription expires. Or if Apple decides to ban you. Or if they decide to abandon the product... you are entirely dependent on their whims. In retrospect this is par for the course, I guess.
- Lots of companies think data engineering *starts* with an SQL database. Oh, honey, I have some bad news.
- Quite a few expect MS POWER BI will be able to deliver REAL TIME DASHBOARDS summarizing TERABYTES of data sourced from SQL SERVER (or similar). Facepalm.
- Nearly all think the handling of data engineering products is just like that of software engineering. Just try. I dare you.
- Why people think that "familiarity in several SQL dialects" is something to brag about?
- Shit, startups. Startups are dead, boomers. Deader than video rental physical stores.

That's all. On to the next round of interviews!

Need to have APIs ready, worked weekends of my own time still not done, why won't my boss get bums on seats to help -.-

Our community on devrant is pretty big and I'm guessing also diverse. I'm trying to find some information about developers in underdeveloped nations - how is your life compared to the rest of the people in your country? Are you happy with your pay? What about startups? Any good startups that stemmed from underdeveloped nations?

Anatomy of an entrepreneur!!!

Joined a big corporate for the first time in my life a few months ago, after years and years in small companies and startups.

Went from designing new creative solutions and finding challenging problems to working on small stupid tasks and obeying a fucking idiotic company culture, that is nothing but words that are not applied in reality. Creativity and enthusiasm are discouraged for the sake of maintaining the status quo.

Probably the worst decision in my life. I don't think I can do this for long.

Anyone here making big bucks working for a small company? I've interned at startups and worked full time for fortune 500's, but I'm considering looking at smaller companies in the future just because the corporate environment kind of burns me out. What's it like being a senior level developer for a smaller company? Is the money typically there? And in your experience, what about quality and expectation of work? I would love to have some more say and passion into what I'm building and take home a big chunk of what a business earns but I don't know how realistic that is.

I'd also like to start my own e-commerce company but as a web developer with 0 business / marketing experience that seems far off lol

I actually only started programming a little less than two years ago. I entered my freshman year of college as a mathematics major, but as time went on I ended up enjoying coding in C++ much more than trying to work out partial equations.

I have since become fascinated with many aspects of computer science, mainly web development and systems programming (I discovered Linux and the command line only a year ago and I'm practically in love). I've since been working for a couple fairly new startups with duties from developing a mobile native app in AngularJS/Ionic to migrating content to new servers and developing custom themes on WordPress. I have deep, deep aspirations of eventually being employed by Google as a Senior Software Dev (although I'd definitely prefer working for a company that would allow 100% remote work 😁). I've even finally began developing my own projects, ranging from a URL shortening service to a basic online encyclopedia.

I wanna spend the rest of my life doing this shit. Hell, I hope I die at my computer.

It was an internship. They wanted me to spoof the government's digital signature on some online tax-filing documents by reverse engineering the government's application, just because the whole process of recieving authentic signatures would have taken time, and they wanted it _now_

the moment when you say fuck this functionality and let’s get rid of this 15 screens and replace them with simply point and click and they say but google did it like we wanted… Well google is valued trillion dollars and we are valued nothing. If you want this shit pay million to some developer so he would do one thing and deliver this…ok it’s not needed, fucking 12+ years making startups and delivering projects and still need to deal with morons who say google did it, yeah ask them to develop some functionality for you and fuck you too… I saved you year of work you morons and you fucking complain, dude you need to start selling your products and I want to enable it to you, if you don’t understand that shit then fuck you…

Whatever works that you can get people to work with.

I can’t remember the number of times I’ve warned management against using fancy ass tools only to find out that there literally are no devs on the market who work with it outside fancy ass startups.

Reality is real for a reason.

I'm reluctantly in charge of my company... for now. Trying to avoid any of those fancy, personally cringe-worthy, titles like owner, boss, acronyms starting with a C.

My solution, suits our unique branding, is having my role as:
DragonOverlord

Any arguments as to it actually being a position are quickly thwarted, as it's obviously a class.

A well defined problem leads to better solutions...

What's up with the meetings and schedules? If you involve 9 people for a 3 hour meeting, you're wasting 27 freaking hours and no it's not what standups mean. Startups! ugh

It's rather surreal to go from months of momentum, hard work, feeling proud of everything we're doing... to walking into work one day and finding out that it's your last. It's everyone's last.

Startups, I get it. They come and go, but I've never been so blindsided by it when everything seemed great and everyone was proud. Oh well.

Not skipping a beat. My first day at a new opportunity begins in the morning. I hope it isn't too long before I once again find that place where I'm doing my best work, building something I genuinely believe in, and feel great about it all.

I can't say how rare that groove actually is. I hope it isn't. We should all be able to find it.

Is anybody else nonstop recruited for what essentially chalk up to be excel or google calendar clones? God, all of these 5 mil + funded startups are web apps for TABLES... I mean WTF ARE WE DOING HERE FOLKS?!

The James Webb telescope is literally going to find the existence of life on exoplanets and meanwhile on earth fumbling around in the sandbox with these reinventions of reinventions of reinventions

Sometimes I feel like I'm in the wrong line of work

Not purely dev related but I’d love to make a living out of creating my own products/startups. The dream.

Whatever happened to the startups of old. Where they don't mention AI, blockchain, omni, React, AWS. I miss the LAMP stack days.

Nothing I fucking hate more than working without any sort of specification then being asked to change something multiple times because no one has any defined functionality.

10 years in small startups, and I start a FAANG level position on Monday.

The anxiety and imposter syndrome will have me dead by then...

these days Internet startups and companies what you to do something without Internet, they says what if whole internet went down, what will you do then? dude if Internet went down, your company would not exists 😒

I hate it when apps I enjoy get no love or updates after being acquired by a bigger company. Why did you buy them in the first place? Skitch still cannot support Unicode cause Evernote doesn't care :-(

What's the most ridiculous job title you've seen

For me: Sr Devops Architect III

For the people working on small startups:

How do you keep updated on best practices, engineering, and all that when you're 24/7 focused on the startup (implementing, testing, fixing stuff)?

I feel like I love doing things the best way, but we always go with the "do fast, break fast" and it always feels like a mess because the engineering is done after a really small MVP is done (and after a long time usually).

I was hoping to be able to at least do a really small engineering part *before* starting anything new, but CEO always wants stuff done *yesterday*. But for this I think I should be reading more, and playing around with new patterns and all that, so at least I know out of the box what would be a good thing to start with and not having to change the entire project/script from scratch.

I am going to an AI conference in Berlin (which is kinda far away from me) next month.

I am just learning AI & ML and integrating them into a personal project, but I am going there to meet people, learn and gather info.

Do you have any advice on how I could network with people that are masters in this area?

When a Google image search on your company name turns up more images of "ME" than the co-founders... Amazing feeling... One of the perks of working in start ups...

Dear every app developer or web managers/designers that can read this.

Specificly, the ones who own a android app.

If you have an old android app that is still updated from time to time.

Please, take your time for just one minute.

AND REPLACE YOUR GOD DAMN OLD "Get it on google play" BADGE WITH THE NEW ONE, PLEASE! ITS NOT THAT HARD, WHY ARE YOU GUYS NEVER UPDATE TO NEW LOGOS?!

NOT JUST OLD APPS, EVEN SOME BEW STARTUPS ARE ACTUALLY USING THE OLD BADGE, WHY OH DEAR GOD WHY! WERE YOU LIVING UNDER ECLIPSE ROCK OR SOMETHING?!?

From the moment I started working I knew I wasn't changing the world, creating a new paradigm for the best and all that (even if I avoided working for the best Depression Providers aka Social Medias and other addiction providers)... BUT I never thought about how kind of useless my job was on this "worldly" level...
And lately talking with other seniors profiles in my network (friends having "good careers" ) we kind of concluded that 90-95% of our resumes where in fact CRM/ERP/E-Commerce with a twist...

And fuck, it sucks!! It's useless as fuck at best (let's not talk about the worst cases)... Also, that's most of the startups "innovating" I have met/know... Which also sucks...

I'm baffled by it... And I feel so fucking useless...

fuck... I knew having children was not the best idea...

tl;dr fuck me, I'm stupid, I suck at my job and I wanna die but can't complain because I'm labeled ungrateful

I am -this- close... -this- close to strangling someone, or myself for that matter, over trying to finish this goddamned website that I regret taking on just because I needed the money.

You make me rework my website design three times and eventually end up micro-managing me and keep on making me make small changes that even I can't figure out, nor can anyone else for that fucking matter because you want it to be 'perfect'. God I'm so irritated right now let me fucking sleep. I want out so bad but fuck me sideways with my gaping asshole I need the fucking money.

I wanna quit this shit so bad, it's making me hate myself and throwing me into an existential crisis whether or not am I even a good designer / developer because I just can't satisfy this perfectionist asshole and need to greet him with a smile every fucking time to maintain good terms between our startups.

Boss expects everybody should be bullied by her and that we work extra hours for free. What?

It has now become trend for all new startups in my country to follow these three steps.
Step 1 - Attract developers by showing them high CTC.
Step 2 - Make them work mercilessly on intern basis giving them low pay.
Step 3 - Fire them after intern period without giving some valid reasons.

I am fed up now as I have wasted my six months without getting much pay and now I am jobless 😨

When I started doing frontend development, I was quite shocked with how people managed to cowboy code their way into building fully functional products with a decent paying client base.

I am talking about fully function SaaS with payment gateway and all, but no version control beyond full backup copies, and spaghetti code everywhere you can literally bring the website down trying to change the homepage design.

... and the startups that managed to do better, some of them forgot the .git on production exposing their entire source code *facepalm*

Halt and Catch Fire is having another great season. Lived those days and it is so true. CompuServe, Compaq, Commodore, 5 1/4", Tandy 1000, Byte Mag, Atari, The Well... The tech you see is really 1985ish. Attention to detail is appreciated by long time technologists.

H&CF is about building a tech business and much applies to today's startups. That two brilliant tech women are leading the charge adds to it. All the characters are great Cameron, Gordon, Donna, the devs at Mutiny and Joe channeling Jobs (in my opinion) is spot on.

Any H&CF fans have an opinion?

Just got an offer from a startup in India. Guess what? They are *not* going to be offering any equity. And... there's going to be a 6 month probation period!!! :O x-(

Overall, pretty good actually compared to the alternatives, which is why there's so much competition for dev jobs.

On the nastier end of things you have the outsourcing pools, companies which regularly try to outbid each other to get a contract from an external (usually foreign) company at the lowest price possible. These folks are underpaid and overworked with absolutely terrible work culture, but there are many, many worse things they could be doing in terms of effort vs monetary return (personal experience: equally experienced animator has more work and is paid less). And forget everything about focus on quality and personal development, these companies are here to make quick money by just somehow doing what the client wants, I'm guessing quite a few of you have experienced that :p

Startups are a mixed bag, like they are pretty much everywhere in the world. You have the income tax fronts which have zero work, the slave driver bossman ones, the dumpster fires; but also really good ones with secure funding, nice management, and cool work culture (and cool work, some of my friends work at robotics startups and they do some pretty heavy shit).

Government agencies are also a mixed bag, they're secure with low-ish pay but usually don't have much or very exciting work, and the stuff they turn out is usually sub-par because of bad management and no drive from higher-ups.

Big corporates are pretty cool, they pay very well, have meaningful(?) work, and good work culture, and they're better managed in general than the other categories. A lot of people aim for these because of the pay, stability, networking, and resume building. Some people also use them as stepping stones to apply for courses abroad.

Research work is pretty disappointing overall, the projects here usually lack some combination of funding, facilities, and ambition; but occasionally you come across people doing really cool stuff so eh.

There's a fair amount of competition for all of these categories, so students spend an inordinate amount of time on stuff like competitive programming which a lot of companies use for hiring because of the volume of candidates.

All this is from my experience and my friends', YMMV.

It's my last week at my job. They have decent pay and great work life balance but the work is boring and uninspiring.

Leaving for a F500 company. The pay is insane and I've been warned the workload matches. The upcoming projects are interesting, and I've hit the next engineering level!

I'm still crazy anxious and feeling that imposter syndrome hard. I've only ever worked in small startups, and I've always been "The Guy", now I'll be a cog in the machine of incredibly smart people.

Just trying to get this off my chest, because right now I don't know what I'm doing...

Today during lunch in office, me with my colleagues were discussing a funny start up idea. Made lot of gags and finally dispersed, remarking "it was fun".
Update: Buisness Plan is partially ready and new Android Studio project started. 😂😂
#wannabeentrepreneurs

Moved to a totally new city to start a new job, thought it'll be amazing as the company is good. Came and saw a bunch of motherfuking smokers who smoke at the main gate of the office, the HR does not respond to my queries, doesn't have time to interact with a new recruit, and I have still got no company mail or email id. And oh, I have the entire GitHub access and the android code cloned on MY PERSONAL COMPUTER, the rights to which were given by the CTO himself.
Guess what, time to say bye to this shit. I'm moving back.

Marketing material for a RasPi-based device that, supposedly, secures all your traffic from hackers by (translated) "encrypting traffic to your router" and "sharding and dispersing your data, so nobody can read it".

Stay tuned to see what it actually does (waiting for an email reply from it's creator)

Rant!
What ryms my gears seeing those posts on LinkedIn:
1. What startups need to do to become the next billion dollars corporate
2. App ideas that will sell in millions
3. What every wannabe needs to know to become the best entrepreneur

I honestly don't recall adding other than devs and HRs 😒

I am currently a CS major, studying in a toxic university that teaches no more than old-school stuff.

I know HTML, CSS, and JS (self-taught), and at present, I am spending time on React.js.

I'm also a competitive programmer.

I badly wanna move out of this toxic educational environment and wanna do something that's worth spending time on.

I am feeling like I am just wasting both my time and money in this old-school university.

what should I do? help me out?

I am thinking that once I am fluent enough with HTML, CSS, JS, React, and some database stuff, I must start finding jobs in small startups.

badly need some guidance. PLEASE HELP ME...

Yey I got a raise. From 55,000 to 56,500 annually. Go Junior me! Hahahaha. Not enough for California though but I’m grateful.

Culture.

Everybody seems to fuck it up. (Most ignore it entirely)

Everybody seems to undervalue it’s importance. (Its value cannot be overstated)

Everybody seems to think it is a luxury for successful companies. (Instead of being a major part of what got them their success)

Everybody seems to think having beer in the fridge is culture, or some other perk. (I like beer and shit, but that’s not culture unless your company makes fucking beer!)

Everybody seems to think that a value statement is culture. (Your employees don’t give a fuck if you want to “provide value to X industry)

And guess, fucking, what...

Everyone is wrong. That’s why 9/10 startups fail, because the founders and CEO are dumbasses.

Here’s some pretty simple advice for life...

“Don’t be a fucking dumbass”

- Me

!rant
I decided to dive into programming by learning C#. Main reason behind it was to avoid the zillions of frameworks and technologies (which scare me) and most importantly dumb client requests. I already have a lot of xp as a designer and working for the web bizz was just UGH!

Nevertheless, I am still wondering if I should pick up some web technologies. I am planning to pick up .NET and C# design patterns next, but what then? Do you think it's smart to focus only on enterprise software development today? I don't mind developing a bigger web-based app or doing server-related stuff either. Everything but startups and developing sites for my cousin's friend's sister hair saloon.

What is the smartest way to go with C# as a starting point in terms of job opportunities?

Business Lesson - You don't need support of big shots if your product is too good.

!rant
Seeing some people posting stories about horrible internships so I thought let's post a good one.
At My current internship they treat an intern like an employee meaning having some great opportunities and rights. Having rights to ask anyone anything or question any decision or pointing that you are wrong.
Me: I don't want to work with this product.
Team lead: okay then there are some other options choose one of them.

And more cool stuffs

Start-up guy : Oh wait there is a library for this feature ?

Still studying, but considering dropping out. I've been working part time in the field since last months of highschool. Going to University seems like a waste of time. I just sit at lectures and listen about things I already know. Worst part of it is that it's extremely depressing, seems like I'm just wasting time I could be spending doing something actually productive. Seems like the only thing keeping me there currently is sunk cost fallacy.

Last week went to a startup conference and set up multiple interviews in some startups and if they go well I'm finally saying goodbye to University.

It would be nice if I didn't have to come in and code on your bullshit product for your bullshit company so I could actually do some code and be happy about it.

If I wasn't so dependent on a regular income I'd be out and doing my own thing already. Money doesn't motivate me to code, it just creates the necessity for me to code for someone elses shitty ideas...

It's exactly not an idea but it pisses me off when people say we're Uber for xyz or were Amazon of xyz. Just finding special use cases of other startups.

we want you to be
- full stack developer (you do everything front end, back end)
- dev ops/SRE (you can sort out the deployment CI/CD pipeline, cloud platform services AWS/GC/Azure whatever)
- architect (you can design the software as well)
all in 1, you gotta be multiple roles/departments
good luck getting this experience on the job (hell in a startup is not for everybody and certainly not for me)

also why the fuck companies who aren’t startups ask for this idk

not sure if i missed any roles/competencies so far , don’t forget you need like >=3 years of experience possibly in every field for entry roles and more for anything higher than that