HR Bull crap

So these assholes want to schedule your shits? Sounds like people that are not very old. Because when you get older the piping gets funky. Fucking assholes.

Man this would be so easy to get around.

Boss: I need you to do the deployment tonight at 10pm.

Employee: sorry, I'm already at 40 hours and it's Thursday at 4pm.

Boss: so?

Employee: I take time theft VERY seriously.

Boss: that's only for wasting company time.

Employee: is my time not important? Would you rather me work off the clock?

Boss: no, but we're not approved for overtime either.

Employee: then I suggest you find someone else or email me that you want me to work off the clock.

Seems like a fucking shit hole of a workplace.

@Floydimus Related or mercyless advertising?

Manager: in spite of your great contributions to the team we’ve noticed you’ve been using the bathroom way too often. Um yes we know when you shit (bc we’re creepy assholes who monitor our employees even when they carry out bodily functions) and unfortunately you have been terminated in accordance to our new time fraud policy

@ScriptCoded he (@floydimus) is right. This popped up at least 100d ago on reddit
https://amp.reddit.com/r/antiwork/...

We have another shit poster. And he might have done it on the clock...

🖼️

And It's 356000000 minutes in 10.000 years. OMG! Imagine how much minutes you loose til Andromeda galaxy hit the milky-way! Really un-responsible behavior.

"shop floor" sounds like factory or retail work.

Did both as a young lad, never the fuck again.

Motherfuckers, simply. And I see you are working 30 days a week so they get to 30*100min a month. HR is so effective they add 2 working days to February. These kind of people make life hell. I would shit in their locker to shave of 2 min on my commute.

what kind of nazi employer do you still work for ?

That’s one long fucking note. Can you read it on work time?

I am... I'm so sad.
https://youtu.be/sI1SLHEC98I

@molaram that kind apparently lol

Boss makes a dollar, I make a dime

@TheBeardedOne I'll shit on his car on company time

Make sure you log what you ate for breakfast and lunch so we can make dietary suggestions to prevent frequent restroom use. Bc we care about your poop

Geez. Can you imagine the type of person writing that? How miserable do you have to be...

So if you work here you are not allowed to eat burritos anymore?

@thirdworld nahh eat at your own time

@TeachMeCode if that scenario ever happens I’ll just go: “please forgive my mistakes, boss! I promise I’ll come shit directly on your desk next time!”

@piratefox lol! An example of shit deserving shit! Bc any boss who would agree with that sign is a pile of rancid turds

The second I saw such BS in any company I work at other companies had my resume on their table by the end of the day.

Stone companies understand that productivity also relates to feeling good of employees, to taking mental brakes and that no one can concentrate 8 hours straight.

Then there are trashbags like these. If management allows this kind of culture being introduced by HR or even expects it, then I want nothing to do with said management. There are better alternatives out there.

"Take off your coat before punching in" - yeah no, go **** yourselves with a brick.

@Maer 'you need to go on bathroom breaks on your break.'

STOP! YOU MIGHT BE COMMITING QUALIFICATION FRAUD!

Qualification fraud happens any time when an HR person pretends to be useful, hence any time an HR person does anything.

Ways to prevent: find a real job.

@Midnight-shcode seriously, how many people would be impressed if you told them you work in HR? How many kids say when I grow up I want to be an HR specialist? Most would say dr, lawyer, engineer, astronaut, scientist, cop, fireman, professional athlete, power ranger, etc. these are jobs people respect and would say at a party “wow you’re an x? That’s cool”. How many people are passionate about HR? Seriously lol

@TeachMeCode in my experience all hr people are women... never in my life have i met an hr person that was male.

i'll... leave that here without any further comment.

@Midnight-shcode so fucking true

They do some math by l gymnastics to go from 10 minutes a day per every 8 hours for every guy to get to 50 manhours a month.

In the end though, it's still 10 minutes per every 8 man hours. It's literally negligible lol

Welp it's time to quit

Holy shit.. I'd leave the place..

When micromanagement is no longer enough and you need to nanomanage.

If I see this at my workplace I resign instantly .... No one cares if we work overtime but if we waste a second from work hours the world collapse

No restroom allowed? But that's the place where I mentally debug

I wish someone could be nice and not scum and not trying to be some falsely superior bitch pretending to be gracious from a standpoint in the misbelief that they have power and just be genuinely nice so i don't have to hurt them or bitch them out or say acid shit to them.

I remember the term in the office "time thief"