Perfect job? This...

That would be super irritating

You just have to work 24/7 and possibly die as a virgin

@IntrusionCM Well such a scenario in a workplace is actually delusional. But that aside who wouldn't want gentle shoulder massage after some hours of debugging... That's some relief right there, think of it.

You want to massage some nerdy dudes?

@GiddyNaya

I have a back massage device for that reason...

A naked man would be great, but they need quite a lot of attention and maintenance. *sad face*

@koes I'm no nerd. Durrh

I will take the small one on the left, please

Man I could go for a dress like that.

@saucyatom bet you’re gay

@iiii I like the one in the middle she’s taller and has nicer tits.,....... GIDDAMN YOU PEOPLE !

@GiddyNaya in my previous org we had this under sexual harassment policy, 'giving shoulder massage to coworkers'

Do they also praise me for the awesome code I write?

@Floydimus Sexual harassment is non-consensual. But this... They got my consent as much as I got theirs.

Girl on the left is all:

"If I just fondle this chair maybe I still get paid...."

@GiddyNaya with that logic I can do any consented shit.

@N00bPancakes ngl, girl on the left with shirt hair looks super cute.

Cute girl massaging me after I'm done with work? I'd be down for that. But I hate it when people stand behind me and look at my screen.

@Floydimus agreed. She is cute

plot twist those "girls" actually have dicks

@coffeeholic And the guys have pussy 😂

Were the cat ears necessary?

I could not stand someone looking at my screen all the time lmao
Pair programming? No thank you

@coffeeholic why is that a plot twist? Wasn't that part of the original requirement?

@Floydimus I don't know dude. its asia...

@coffeeholic I am from Asia.

@coffeeholic so what? There are lots of perfectly fine women in Asia.

@iiii u never know if there is a dick or not

@GiddyNaya I suppose this specific scenario is ridiculous but one place I worked at before actually had massage services brought in one particularly stressful week. They prepped one room for people who wanted full back massages and others got back and foot rubs on their desks.

Most of the lady masseuses were very easy on the eyes but they were dressed in uniforms and not like this.

@coffeeholic most probably not

Feels like I've seen this before.

@platypus

Speculation: Helps her play a 'role' and psychologically remove herself from the situation.... ?

@platypus

it's an entire different culture and hence mindset.

Just because it doesn't fit your mindset... :) ;)

Does the contract include sex?

@GyroGearloose asking real questions 🤣

@-ANGRY-STUDENT- you have. on here. last time they posted it. and you commented the same way.

@platypus yes, she's a sexy kitty. why aren't women not allowed to want to seem cute or attractive for the benefit of males or just because they like attention ? and why are you bitching about the same thing as last time ?

Like the left one best. Seems to have a more hands-off approach.

I like the girl on the far right more and I think my Google Lens is also letting me know her blue dress in available on Amazon maybe to buy for my GF...

@Floydimus Haha at my work (Well, the campus where my work is located together with other companies) you can get massages.

Not from coworkers, but there are massage therapists where you can book employer-paid sessions. Nothing sexual, you just get some herbal tea, and receive a back/shoulder/head massage while listening to some calm ambient music.

Same with the gym & restaurant, bunch of free perks.

I'm negotiating to open a large community hacker/makerspace funded through the campus budget, and got an email yesterday that they're interested 🎉

@bittersweet hahah that's fucking awesome. At my previous employer, we had on site physiotherapist. It was fun with neck and shoulder massages.

She used to try dry cupping which used to leave marks around my neck. I was reckless and used to wear round collar.

Everyone thought she used to give me hickeys. Lol

I might be interested in that business. Maybe as a customer as well.

@molaram
There definitely are girls under the table!

I would massage those boys shoulders so good. This is a dream job.

@irene lol

@coffeeholic racist and transphobic. That is efficient.

@irene welcome to the team