“Yeah but you’re not a *real* developer”

Fuck. you.

I wrote 80% of this code base. I do 80% of the tickets/storyboard points. I do all of the QA. My nose is to the grindstone every fucking day honing this craft and sweating my balls off like a blacksmith staring into the red hot kiln while the sores of previous mistakes scream bloody murder from the unrelenting exposure to heat. I saw this amazing industry of opportunity, freedom and self examination and wanted in no matter what it took. I glued myself to every pithy resource I could possibly get my hands on and crawled through the muck and filth of it all until I could keep myself warm with the smallest spark of my own making. I stoked that spark until it became a fire and stoked that fire until I could set entire forests ablaze. I listened to the ungrateful people keeping warm by my combustion saying it “wasn’t hot enough” or “would have been a nicer colour if they did it” or “could have warmed up just fine jogging on the spot”. I made painstaking alterations to my ignition and watched my undeserving benefactors gradually be silenced and begin to sit quietly by the heat. I jumped into that inferno daily, was reduced to ash daily and emerged reborn daily. But you are right! I didn’t get scammed out of $40k+ studying technology in an archaic institution from instructors who don’t give a shit and answering “D all of the above” for 4+ years straight therefor my opinion doesn’t mean shit. Push your bullshit to prod and watch the server come burning out of the cloud as the apocalyptic swarm of angry tickets come flooding in why don’t you? Bet they didn’t teach you that in school. You’ve never poked around inside an open source codebase in your life. They are just a mystery boxes of magic that unless someone holds your hands with finely crafted instructions containing a 50/50 picture to word ratio you throw a hissy fit. Every problem that comes up instead of working to solve it you reflexively point to the first person in the room while thinking with your pea brain how you can possibly scapegoat them into taking the fall for whatever it is that’s come up today you couldn’t possibly understand.

Not a real developer?

Fuck. You.

PSA: if, for whatever shit reason your brain comes up with, you decide to run a webminer in your retarded useless piece of shit website, at least HAVE THE DECENCY TO WARN USERS ABOUT IT. And while you're at it, implement some basic monitoring and safety functions. If you don't, you can set yourself on fire and jump from the top of the tallest building you can find.

Some basic tips:
1) don't run that shit on phones. The fraction of a fraction of a cent you're gonna earn from them is not worth the risk of overheating them and draining their batteries.

2) add low battery/overheating protection: the last thing you want to do is kill some poor sucker's laptop (and potential unsaved work) just because they forgot a tab open. Every time a laptop dies because of you, a knife will slit your throat.

3) WARN YOUR USERS ABOUT IT! You are straining someone else's resources for your own profit: at least have the balls to be open about it. If you try to run a miner silently in the background, I will make you eat whatever is left of your fucking brain, then drown you in the shit that comes out of your ass.

Biggest hurdle I have overcome is <b>myself</b>.

All my expectations, worries, fears, and doubts definitely caused major hurdles I had to crash through, trip and fall into, or they downright exploded into balls of fire as I would stand dumbfounded and burned by flames of regret.

Learning I was the blocker to greater achievement, success and ultimately happiness was a very hard lesson for me to learn, and a lesson and discipline that I still battle with today.

It is difficult to climb the seven story mountain of madness with heavy burdens, plodding with little progress.

Free the weight, and the natural warm air currents will lift high the spirit, and the body will follow.

"Angels fly because they take themselves lightly" ~GKC

Oh look the store is open now! I can get all the squish balls I want now.

Ok fellow dev's, the engineering head said that he had to let me go because apparently I'm a very talented engineer but I have a bad attitude. All of this because he claims I don't seem too interested in meetings and all that bs.
So from Monday on it's Knowledge transfer time since major parts of our product have been written by me.Wish the head had some balls, and told me he was firing me because I wont suck up to him and be a yes man, bastard thinks you can hire and fire good dev's just like that (he can) .Plus he has never appreciated folks for the effort and the work they do. :(

I knew this might be an issue, but really Linux just sucks balls. It may not be Linux's fault, but the user experience could be a fuck ton better.

Spent 1.5 hours trying to get mint installed on second drive. It works fine if you don't want to do anything with it.

As you can probably surmise I died on getting the gpu driver installed. Just starts to a black screen. No amount of juggling is helping. It just refuses to show the screen with an nvidia driver installed. What is worse is that settings that might help are not set. Like nomodeset in grub. If you know some drivers fuck up the grub interface then add nomodeset and not leave it up to the user to "figure this shit out". Because users are tired of figuring this shit out.

Really really fucking disappointed. I thought to myself: lets install steam and see how it does. The reality: fucking stuck for 1.5 hours on trying to boot into x with graphics acceleration and failing.

Many of you hate on windows, but one thing it has going for it. It doesn't do fucked up shit like this. It has failsafes that try and account for this.

Fuck you linux. You need to fucking grow up and stop relying on users to fix every damn thing in the command line. Go back to server where you belong.

I know I will get the "I told you so" messages, but guess what? The computer I got doesn't come preinstalled with windows. You have to pay to get it. At this point windows is the only fucking viable solution to make my shit work.

Nvidia, go die in a fire bitch. Fix your fucking Linux support you worthless shit heads.

This has been a rant brought to you by "the pain of others". I hope you enjoyed the experience.

PS, I love you all. Even the "I told you so" bitches.

A couple fucking brutal, merciless dungeon moments.

So first, we were having a chill kind of session. Throwing lots of jokes and shit, and I rolled with it. The baddie for the day, I felt inspired, and named him Fawq El-Fuqer, which yes, is very unfortunate.

Anyway, we avoid his goons and reach his impenetrable fortress of chronic masturbation, and it goes as well as you think. The rogue says hey, we gotta get him with his pants down (pause) literally. The cleric is skeptical at first, but she comes around to it.

And so we do it. I spin this tale of a man who's got a schedule tighter than his fucking asshole. El-Fuqer meticulously plans his shits, he makes it a whole ritual, even gives it a special name: Mud O'Clock.

We wait for his alarm to ring, and spring into action while he's taking a fat stinking fucking dump. The warrior kicks down the bathroom door and corners El-Fuqer while he's on the shitter, demanding satisfaction for their past romantic involment that's been strongly been hinted at, you see, she said Fuck the Fucker and I, that's history. And that's enough for a subplot if you ask me.

So where was I? Ah, yes, the rogue bursts in through the window shouting out "Mud O'Clock MOTHER FUCKER!!" and we immortalize the moment in the finest silks. The wizard then does a little Bane impression for some reason and a multitude of loud 'plops' are heard as El-Fuqer evacuates the entire content of his putrid guts.

He gets roughed up a little, you know nothing like interrogating someone after they nearly shit themselves to death. We reveal some oooh so unexpected plot twist about a portal to goddamn hell and it's like well, crap, we gotta do something about that. So the wizard and the rogue leave to give the warrior and El-Fuqer some, ehem, space to settle their score.

What followed was the most unexpected, most brilliant part of the whole session. She didn't just execute him in a brutal, gruesome manner, no, she went full fucking throttle. Forced El-Fuqer to eat his own cock and balls while sewing his ass shut, then had a bowl of bull testicle salad to drop a montanious fecal cake of biblical proportions upon his face.

Believe it or not, we made it into an emotional moment. Because everyone was shocked by how brutal the affair was. Warrior had a mental breakdown like, uuuh, I'm becoming the monsters I swore to fight ooh no. She starting shaking and crap, ran away and hid in an alley to weep, it begins raining and it's getting very dramatic, so I cook up some spirit of sorrow that goes in and helps her face her fears and shit through the power of friendship or whatever.

Moving on to second moment, this is shorter but I like it best. The cleric and another two extras went to an old shrine to try and prove the wizard wrong about his denial of prophecy. Thing is, they did the ritual wrong. And I'm usually very forgiving but I was feeling nasty after the whole sowing of the asshole thing. So I'm like, uh, I gave you fools VERY PRECISE instructions on how to perform this ritual, and you just did some wacky prayers to the moon nonsense, that's idolatry in-universe and out-of-universe too (depending on who you ask).

So I said fuck it, you guys had it coming. I whip out immortal ten-thousand year old elder sorceress bitch guardian of the holy sphincter, and it gets real pretty fucking quick. She's got sanctified heavy plate armor, blue fire torches coming out they fucking pauldrons, argent greatsword of anal judgement plus infinity, all the juiciest shit.

Anyway, the sorc descends from the sky in a pillar of azure flames and is like yo, drop that idolatrous shit right now or I'm gonna kill you all. They mistake her for angel or some shit, and are like hey chill, we're the good guys. But the sorc doesn't give a shit, and she says shut the fuck up or I'll send you to the Night Eternal, bitch.

I dunno why but the cleric and the other two extras don't get it, so they insist with the whole heyyyy we are not idolaters, we're your friends, we are questing for the mandinga mandango mcguffango. So she bisects one, breaks the neck of another, and decapitates the fucking cleric. It was awesome.

So what did we learn? idk, don't plan your dumps and don't pray to the fucking moon if you're standing on hallowed ground. *****