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Search - "retard"
Friend: I hate my new OnePlus 6. It's really slow and hangs a lot
Me: I can't believe
Friend: Use it yourself, you'll know.
*Me using his phone
*Realising it was really slow
*Checking his installed apps
-Antivirus free version
*poured poision in his coffee
*enjoyed watching him die slowly37
"Chrome 66 arrives with autoplaying content blocked by default"
Fuck yeah! Fuck you CNET, Mashables and all the other retard companies that did that.13
Do you guys also go full blind when some retard shows you his screen with full brightness and no dark theme?5
My classmate is a real SAVAGE!!
He (team leader) and his team participated in hackathons several times and kept losing.
He noticed something common about winning team, majority of those team members were women, even if they were non technical and their project was pure bs, they were winning in the name of women empowerment.
This time he came out with a plan, he fired his boys and invited women into his team, and even made one girl the team leader.
Result? HE WON!!!
NOT ONE BUT THREE HACKATHONS BACK TO BACK
His so called women team was invited by Google to pitch their startup idea.
Now, if they gets funding, he's gonna kick out these women and bring back his teammates32
1. Have some issue with my code which spits out cryptic compiler error.
2. Ask on stack overflow, Reddit, etc for a solution.
3. Get scolded at for "not reading the documentation" and "asking questions which could be answered by just Googling". Still no clue what I'm doing wrong, or what the solution would be.
4. Find someone else's vaguely related problem.
5. Post my problematic code as the answer, with arrogant comment about OP being a retard for not figuring that out for themselves.
6. A dozen angry toxic nerds flock in to tell me how retarded and wrong I am, correcting me... solving my original problem.
7. Evil plan succeeded, my code compiles, and as a bonus I made the internet a worse place in the process.
I think if you tell a bunch of autistic neckbeards that "all coronaviruses are fundamentally incurable", you'd have a vaccine within a week.17
Similarities between this spider and me:
- We both are web developers
- We both live in same room
- We both try to find bugs everyday11
Three days ago I wrote a comment:
"It's weird how the internet shifted from protocols to platforms.
Devs still know the plumbing, but for most people IRC became Whatsapp, FTP became Dropbox, RTSP became Netflix, SIP became Zoom and RSS became Google Now... so people might eventually forget about SMTP and this whole "email" hype.
In a decade or two we'll have forgotten about URLs and HTTP and the "internet" as well. You just pay your monthly $10 sub to Google or Amazon or Apple to have your condensed streams of memes & bait funneled right into your eyeballs."
And now Chrome devs are considering removing URLs just like in Safari, just showing the domain you are on....
Enjoy your retard web, people.
What's next, new Macbook & Chromebook standardized designs to prevent people from being confused?43
Some dude asked me if I like demons
> Yeah I do, I am sure it would be hard having a working system without any daemons
He probably think that I am a retard, atleast the feeling is mutual8
one big fucking note to starting Node.js programmers
seriously you're a fucking retard if you do commit that shit16
Fuck off with your shit ass semicolon jokes. You searched for semicolon for 4days? Fucking retard with a sack of balls instead of eyes can understand that he's missing a semicolon in matter of seconds. It's going to be 2018 soon. Get a fucking IDE that says that you are missing a fucking semicolon. The error literally fucking says "; expected at the end of expression". Ugh...? I wonder what that means... Maybe something is wrong with my operating system or my PC. Fuck off with that shit. Try debugging some systems that have 2files with 15k lines in each of them with 200fields and all of them strings both with empty default constructors. Semicolons... My ass..14
*after 5 mins
>felt like a loser
>back to coding
"Oh c'mon, my 14 yr old son can change background color of entire website and you're charging me extra for simple face detection feature?"6
Which retard on this planet decided to put a "continue reading" button on every dumbshit news and article website. You built your fucking website to read! That was the entire purpose of your website!!9
Client: Why doesn't this process work?
Me: For the exact fucking reasons I said it wasn't fucking possible like three fucking times in two separate fucking meetings you fucking retard.11
I have this guy who screams and keeps on slamming the table in a meeting room (there is only the project developer inside), about how important to LTRIM RTRIM in sql, combining multiple insert into 1 stored procedure, making a big deals of small feature since we’re on a tight schedule, bla bla bla
Worse retard ever
I almost punched him13
Finally, fucking finally, after twenty fucking trillion tries, a huge ass import is going steady and fast.
I'm literally, out loud, encouraging the import process 😅
"Yesyesyes keeeep it going!"
"You can do this!!"
"You're doing very well!"
I feel like a fucking retard but I'm so happy its finally starting to work 😅10
working on an android app. the guy who wrote it is a complete retard designed it and made it overcomplicated and unmaintainable now no one can change anything without breaking all that shit ... found this comment, someone else tried to do it and failed miserably apparently.2
I used to use Firefox few years ago, but people around me called me fool and told me that Chrome was much better.
Now I use Chrome and you devRanters are making me feel like fool again.
Lesson Learnt: Stand straight on your decisions24
My non coder friend thinks typing a 1000 line document and coding 1000 line software/app are perfectly equal things and deserves equal salary.20
Group of 2
He do the powerpoint and document
I do the whole web application
And when it’s time to present our work, his power point is black and white and documents formatting is a mess
I got B even though my website can CRUD and whole basic function works
Today I was trying out Google Collaboratory for the first time. Just realised that they've built-in "SEARCH STACKOVERFLOW" button if there's an error1
A child is deleting all the necessary files required to run games, softwares etc.. He thinks they're virus just because he can't open and play with them.
Now he clicked on game.exe to play his favourite game but this happened:
"Error: blah blah
xyz file is missing"
He is confused. He is blaming his father for buying the worst computer for him
This child is me, 8 yrs ago :')5
Pro tip: It is faster and easier to say 'World Wide Web' than it is to say 'WWW'.
So today I got really triggered when i hear this guy say that coding is cancer. I stand up and instantly the first thing going through my mind is that it's the battle of the nerds. He says he tried ALL of the programing languages out there and they were shit. I asked if he tried C# and he still says coding is cancer even though he has never even heard of any C# syntax. I asked if he used Batch as a started language and he still says it. So I just decided to roast him by saying "did you put .bat at the end of the file when you were saving? Oh wait never mind, I forgot your lazy ass doesn't have the intelligence to understand how to save"
Surprisingly everyone was silent and most likely didn't understand what I had said. So I just left wondering if he even bothered to get a guide on syntax for any of the languages he would have liked.5
EVERY FUCKING DAY ANOTHER RETARD ON MY DOORKNOB WHO HAS TO TELL ME ABOUT HIS GREAT IDEA.
I GIVE A SHIT ABOUT VOICE ENABLED MUSIC PLAYER APPS. SO THAT YOU CAN CHANGE SONGS WHILE TAKING A SHOWER
NO ONE WANTS A GPS TRACKER APP FOR THEIR FUCKING DOG AND HOW DO YOU EVEN REMOTLY THINK THAT YOUR FUCKING DOG HAS BUILD IN GPS ANYWAY
AND NO WE WILL NOT MAKE BILLIONS AND TAKE YOUR 10% SHARE UP YOUR ANUS. YOUR IDEA IS AS WORTHLESS AS YOUR EDUCATION WAS OBVIOUSLY.13
My first rant was about this topic.
I once made a program using C++ which would allow you to make HTML pages.
I made a menu using switch () like this:
1. Add Title to website
2. Add Image
3. Add New Line
4. Add paragraph
This was the most useless and stupid thing I ever made5
Today I downloaded SpyKids (2002) movie to refreshen childhood memories.
Saw that scientists were using welding machine and chemicals to make artificial intelligence.6
My boss now has me writing an angular app but I'm not allowed to reuse components. The retard level is over 90005
Fuck you and you and everyone!!
It's midnight and I'm in a village on the top of a FUCKIN MOUNTAIN!!!
Wind is so fast that it's literally blowing whistles while passing by my ears.
And it's fukin cold as fuck.
> Hey dude, are you coding on the top of a mountain??
> HELL YEAH!!!15
Fucking son of a bitch force pushed to git effectively deleting 4 hours of my work and was keeping his mouth shut for two days while pushing ontop of that bullshit during these days and completely minifiying that file I was working on to make sure that he makes my life miserable.Fuck this fucking shitty ass retarded fucker for doing this SECOND time already!11
The reason why I changed my username ( I'll just be honest here )
I was working on a website. I noticed that entries were submitting yesterday but today new entries were not showing up on database. It was like my database refused to insert new rows but there was no new error in log. I kept trying for almost half an hour, read all the answers on stackoverflow, read docs, tried different methods. Nothing worked. I was fucked up. Completely fucked up.
In frustration, I just stared my database for 10 mins without a single blink, and then I noticed this thing 'showing 25 out of 78 rows'
I clicked on 'show all'
I felt retarded.
Okay I can give an excuse that last time I saw a database was a year ago, but still.. how retarded you need to be to not see this FUCKIN 'SHOW ALL' when it is on the TOP of the FUCKIN TABLE!!6
I am working on a project with a retard.
I am supposed to focus on the mobile apps but the backend guy doesn't know shit about REST.I spend more time teaching him how to serialize data into JSON and telling him not to store passwords as plaintext(He's now using md5 despite me telling him to use bcrypt) than developing the mobile apps am supposed to.
Guess who will be blamed for missing the deadline?
Yea, it's me.
Guess who will get the credits for the backend i am developing?
Yea, it's him.
Time to change my skills from PHP developer to AI researcher, Blockchain engineer and grab some thousand dollars deal on Freelancer3
Why people keep installing shit on their computers and then asks me if I can fix their PC that "randomly" stopped to run as fast as before?
If you, fucking retard, installed combos of 2 or sometimes even 3 antivirues, the worst ones by the way (e.g. Avast + Norton + Avira), some bullshit utilites like BoostMyFuckingPC 9000, SpeedMyGPU, etc. it's normal that it doesn't work, especially if you have a low end laptop with Intel i3 and 4 GB of RAM…
And it's not true I'm a magician if I make it work properly again, I just undone the fucking decisions you made when you started to search on bing how to increase FPS in LoL…
Fuck you, and fuck me because since we're friends/relatives I HAVE to help you little bastard.6
Since GoDaddy was calling me frequently to buy domains I've added to my cart, I added another domain
So I have this friend, let's call him retard. He decided to check out a coding competition. He signed up for it and then added me as a teammate. Then he went ahead and gave me a time, 22:00 local time. The time when the competition starts. I was excited, and being super retard didn't even think of rechecking things myself.
We waited in our merry ways, all so excited for a coding competition while listening to music to keep the mind free. The time finally came. It was 21:59. I opened up my ide and called upon my dear friend chrome. Asked the retard for the link. And then he decided to break out the curses. I was shocked, bewildered.
I didn't know what was going on, did I do something bad to him? Did I make him angry? Or did something happen to him? I was worried. After all, I don't want my teammate to be distressed during a competition. So in a stern voice I said, calm down my friend. Tell me the thing that's got you all riled up.
The news he conveyed shook my very foundations of trust and the feeling of comradry that we had built the day before going to lunch and discussing strategies. That bloody retard misread 20:00 as 22:00. Two whole hours. Two whole hours that could have been used for solving simple problems and making pretty algorithms were all gone and all that was left was the dust of other competitors who weren't retards and managed to read the time correctly.
Idk what to do. Should I kill him? Delete his github profile while he isn't looking? Ask him to kindly delete System32 folder from his C:/ drive?
But then again I should also take half the blame for not taking things seriously enough to make a bloody checkup on the fake news he provided.9
When you've gotten too used to Jetbrains IDEs that you start pressing enter before finishing any word in Sublime and everyone looks at you like you're a retard when you type4
Met a girl on internet ( because I don't have a real life )
She: So what are you studying?
Me: Currently learning about Deep Learning but I also do freelancing in website development to pay my bills.
She: Okay so tell me what is a COMPUTER
Me: umm... it's a... mmm.... actually it's a..... basically a.....
(thinking really hard)
*30 seconds later*
Me: It's an electronic machine
She: seriously? I expected much better from you
Me: I'm sorry!27
I hate when a retard fuckstick user on FuckOverflow gives answer like this:
"I suggest a read of the documentation instead of only hacking around"
IF I'M ASKING A QUESTION IT'S BECAUSE THE fucking doc wasn't clear to me, it was longer than the dick of the horse that fucked your mother, or simply I didn't have the fucking time and I hoped somebody would help me out, you dumb fatherfucker18
While I struggle in vertically aligning to centre,
Someone made a moving bicycle using only css:
After lots of complaints I finally decided to attend my CS lecture.
Learnt something new today.
"Another way to open a folder is to select it, and then press Enter"4
So I hung out with him a bit on recess/break time, and I eventually found out that he is a d*ckhead
First of all, he claims that he can code ANYTHING, I mean triple A games, the machine that can find pi in 10 seconds. And I know that this isn't true, because he "can't bother" with showing me it.. whatever I think.
I also mentioned that he is a d*ck, why am i saying that? Because if you make an error he would just go, "there is supposed to be *insert random bullshit here* instead of *a typo that I made*, retard. You are honestly fucking stupid" Listen, I love when people point errors out, it really helps. But when you say it like that, it honestly makes me sad. One day, I was messing around with classes in python and he went "hey idiot! That's wrong! There is supposed to be a *random word* instead of *working code*". The funny thing is, HE DOESNT KNOW WHAT PYTHON IS. So I comment out the working code and puts in his c# bs there instead. And he just says, "it isn't working because there's a private class instead of a public class. Ehmm, excuse me? This is python, ok.
Any tips on dealing with the guy?23
The retard at Oracle who made me create an account to download a JDK or even MySQL fron their website
Go fucking die its so annoying18
Insomnia: yeah, nice cors header
Postman: neat cors header mate
Fetch in browser: where the FUCK is the cors header you retard7
A normal social media app. But everytime a user taps on opposite gender's profile pic, it secretly records his face during that activity and then tweets that recording.
PSA: if, for whatever shit reason your brain comes up with, you decide to run a webminer in your retarded useless piece of shit website, at least HAVE THE DECENCY TO WARN USERS ABOUT IT. And while you're at it, implement some basic monitoring and safety functions. If you don't, you can set yourself on fire and jump from the top of the tallest building you can find.
Some basic tips:
1) don't run that shit on phones. The fraction of a fraction of a cent you're gonna earn from them is not worth the risk of overheating them and draining their batteries.
2) add low battery/overheating protection: the last thing you want to do is kill some poor sucker's laptop (and potential unsaved work) just because they forgot a tab open. Every time a laptop dies because of you, a knife will slit your throat.
3) WARN YOUR USERS ABOUT IT! You are straining someone else's resources for your own profit: at least have the balls to be open about it. If you try to run a miner silently in the background, I will make you eat whatever is left of your fucking brain, then drown you in the shit that comes out of your ass.5
Sorry if this sounds like retard question on linux system
I installed nvidia driver on my laptop (720M) and it showed black screen after reboot, BUT if I enter my password and hit enter the screen goes back to normal on desktop, it just didn’t show anything on the first lock screen
I’ve followed linux mint nvidia driver instructions, removing the package re installing, etc.
P.S. All of the question I found on the internet seems to be total black screen after installing the driver, whereas mine could work after I entered my password12
WHY ARE PEOPLE USING QUORA?? WHY AREN'T WE SWITCHING TO A GOOD ALTERNATIVE ALREADY??
• You can't browse it anonymously, they force you to sign in.
• You can't use it on web browser on phone, they force you to install mobile app.
• They don't let you put description to your questions.
• It's complicated to use and the UI isn't user friendly ( personal opinion )
• If you signed up with Google, Facebook etc.. They'll save your profile pic and won't update it ever.
My profile pic on quora is from 4 years ago and I can't change it yet.13
So this popped up on my office group chat: A graph displaying the use of curse words in the Linux kernel by version. https://vidarholen.net/contents/...*5
We have 2 layers of testing environments and production.
I tested the changes on the 1st layer, bud since it was 5min to lunch i did not test on 2nd layer which is connected to the production DB. I pushed to production and caused 5+ websites to go full retard and went to lunch.
Came back to 19emails and 3+ skype msgs about "why the fck would you do that..."
Estimated damages nearly 20k EUR and i lost some permissions for two weeks, but my great boss helped me out and cheered me up by telling stories how he took down multiple servers too
plot twist: im the team leader of our office now :)5
took me 3 hours to figure out why my app isnt working just so i can read my own code slowly like a retard and see this13
This is one from i was an intern
Me: writes some logic, using
for(String s : something)
Senior: holds a 30 minute talk on why short loops are bad and we should always use the traditional one
Me: ok retard
Me: havent used traditional loops ever since then8
Boss: Any idea why ColleagueX's code might be blowing out the memory?
Me (internal): Cos he's a fucking retard who can't code for shit, doesn't listen when I tell him to do stuff properly because he's fucking lazy, has no idea what stack and heap are, uses goto everywhere, doesn't know how to debug, doesn't write any unit tests, and generally WASTES MY FUCKING TIME!
Me (external): Probably a memory leak. I'll take a look.2
Lol... So I was a intern at a IT Recruitment Start Up as a IT Guy (the irony). I was given a task to upload all his clients into a database from xing. It was a fucking copy paste job... So I told him this sucks... You will not believe what he said next... "you will learn how databases work with this" WHAT THE FUCK DUDE YOURE SUCH A DENSE MOTHERFUCKER. HOW WILL ANYBODY LEARN HOW DATABASES WORK WITH COPY PASTE... YOU RETARD.3
I want my '+' to freeze at '+1998'. Because that's when I was born and it would look cool. Please don't ruin it guys..22
So our university website was recently refurbished with new design. But fucking hell it's bad. Not only the whole website is full of bugs, the design choices are extremely poor.
Sometimes, when I open a course page, it opens a modal with undefined as it's title. And I have to click close button ten times to close the modal.
I can't even blame university. The guy was a former student and Uni probably trusted him. What a retard!5
For two weeks I am paid 50$ an hour 6 hours a day / 5 days per week as someone called "Web deployment supervisor". The work is based on checking if the website throws an error and fixing it (devops) and staying in touc with the customer and helping him. The wevsite i wrote is just a small PHP site, well tested, almost no user input, if you dont drop whole DB it cannot basically crash. So for past week I am just copypasting documentation for the client what/how to do things. Today I already sent him same info 4 times. For me as a student and a freelance web dev it's a gold mine. I am having vacations for 14 days (thanks to damaged school water supply), getting paid 50$/hour for playing PUBG and using Ctrl+F in my Firefox, but god hell, it's so fucking psychically hard. Sometimes I have an urge to scream on that retard "I'VE SENT YOU THAT SAME SHIT 4 MINUTES AGO RETARD USE YOUR FUCKING SCROLL WHEEL IN OUR CHAT FOR FUCK SAKE".5
I suspect this may happen to alot of people:
Me: Is this the right way to implement the feature?
Lecturer: yes that looks good
*Results come out*
Lecturer: *deducts marks for no reason*
Me: You said this is the right way of doing this...
Lecturer: I didn't quite see what you're trying to do
Me: it's fully commented.................
Lecturer: *confused as fuck* i will remark and get back to you
Me: *thinking* fucking retard playing with my grades like it's a joke.2
Best thing to do when you're having a bad day:
> Post a video on YouTube telling people that you're developing a machine learning algorithm for drones to identify obstacles.
> Show them a basic HTML code on your computer screen.
> Disable the comments4
WHAT THE FUCK IS WRONG WITH YOU ???
Galaxy S8 5.8" Quad HD+ Super AMOLED (2960x1440)
Galaxy S8+ 6.2" Quad HD+ Super AMOLED (2960x1440)
oh my fucking god, what kind of retard decided this ?
This resolution is waaaaay too much. It impacts performance and battery life a fuck ton and gives you absolutely nothing in return. I would be cordially surprised if there was someone in the world who could see more than 400 ppi. 300 is more than enough for most of the people.
God these fucks are annoying with their retarded marketing. And even more so, the people who buy these phones, because phone manufacturers can and will continue doing so.
Flagship my ass.15
Is it because my browsing history already suggests I am a retard who sucks at programming?
YouTube now show this whenever I click any video about web dev :(
"You need a website. Why not do it yourself. ... choosing from more than 100 templates... "12
TL;DR: a dude thinks good graphics make a game good.
so every day when the school ends, me, a dude and another girl walk home. as expected we have lots of time to talk about anything. I wanted that day to tell that dude about what I am going to buy on steam summer sales with just 15$.
me: I am going for this summer to play lots of games so I saved some money for this summer sale. do you want to hear what awesome games I am about to buy with just 15$?
dude: yeah, sure thing.
he wasn't expecting much
M: this summer I am going to buy 5 games and maybe keep more for some others. they are so awesome!
D: ok, let's hear those 'awesome' games!
M: the first game is devil daggers, maybe you don't kno...
D: of course I do. is that game
M: I want to get that game just to improve my aim, but maybe I will have some fun.
D: yeah yeah, I know that game
M: *poker face*
I KNEW he doesn't know this game and anything about pc games because of the followings...
M: ok then... I also want to get Half-Life 2 : Episode 1 & 2. they have pretty rich story and I already have both Half-Lives.
D: holy shit but the graphics... ok, one more 'awesome' game of yours.
M: there are 2 episodes, 2 separate games. I really don't care about the graphics, I love the story.
D: continue with your 'awesom' games...
that dude didn't even knew about half-life and said that game is bad.
M: another game I want to get is Battlefront 2, the one from 2005 and...
M: yeah, the new one sucks, and the gameplay in the original is way better and...
D: *starts laughing* 2005!? I thought you were getting the new one. I imagine the graphics being like this car. *points to a fucking car, yeah that kind of comparasion, I know*
after this I was so fucking pissed off. he doesn't even know about some cult classics that are meant to be played. he doesn't even have a pc nor console and he is stating his opinion on fine air for fucks sake!
M: ok, what about getting the facts and then make an opinon.
D: yeah yeah *making fun of me at that point*
I didn't tell him that I wanted to buy the binding of isaac, cause it was enough for me. I told him to watch some reviews on these games and blog posts about them and I am sure tomorrow he will say that he 'wathced' the reviews and that those games are garbage. it's his style to underestimate things. I fucking hate him, not becuase of the games, but because he underestimates everything that is not on his list of 'good games'. that list consists of new games with great graphics(3D only).
sorry if I exaggerate saying that those games are cult classics but I really look forward into buying them.
if you have another indie game to run on this potato machine(2gb ram, pentium dual-core 2.1ghz, gtx 525m) that I should or at least try comment, I am open to suggestions!11
Boss just gave me a bonus out of the blue for my "continuous show of dedication and engagement". Not sure what I did specifically to deserve it, but pretty happy nonetheless!
Not really a rant, I just wanted to share. Spent the whole day smiling like a retard :)2
Once during a standup, I mentioned that I needed to fix some unit tests before the build would be ready. Our tester then said "no time for tests, we need the build now". That was a dark day.
So, I'm the only iOS developer in the company working on this stupid app which is never going to succeed because the client idea is just plain stupid. Anyway, 6 months developing this crap, countless iterations, trillions of so-called retard "features", and now that we are almost there to go into production my PM decides it's a great moment to document every aspect of what was done and asks me to do it. Now I have 3 documents to write and around 80 bugs to review before Friday. Stupid me for thinking he didn't waste 6 months doing absolutely nothing while I was working 12 hrs a day to meet deadlines.2
FUCK Y.O.U. windows 10 for making my pc not recognize mics on the front port.
Seriously i usually dont mind windows that much but really ?! Oh hello i noticed you changed your os version THEN LET ME FUCK UP YOUR DRIVERS SO YOU FEEL LIKE A RETARD NOT BEING ABLE TO TALK.
Worst is i feel like an idiot because i have no idea how to fix this shit apart from buying a new PC, aaaaand im pretty sure while trying to fix it i made it worse
FUCK IM A SCRUB. FUCK PEOPLE ON INTERNET AND THEM "It works". NO IT DOESNT !
And now i feel like a worthless dev because of w1055
Twitter made me delete my tweet, and temporarily disabled a bunch of features.
Because I called mgk a retard ? Or because i used the Eminem's version of rest in peace i.e. rot in pieces ?
Or because I used the word Killshot ?
It's the name of the fucking song !!!
Fuck you twitter !
We've all had shitty jobs at one point or another, maybe some of us already had software engineering experience while having to work in a different field for a variety of reasons.
Well check this shit.
At one point(during my second year of school) for various reasons I had to work in retail. For those that know, retail can be a soul crushing experience...the trick is not letting management to convince you that it is an actual good job, it is not, and I have respect and sympathy for everyone currently working in it. The mind numbing retarded customers that we get are absolutely fantastic in every sense of the word.
My position in retail was as a phone salesman, for MetroPCS (which for all of y'all european ninjas is one of the low end phone carriers here in the U.S) and the people that we get as customers where I live are normally very poor which apparently in Mexican culture stands for annoyingly ignorant (I am Mexican myself, so I can really vouch for this shit)
One day a customer came in telling me that there was an app that he was using that kept giving him troubles, it was a map application for truck drivers. Now, obviously, this had nothing to do with my line of work(phone salesman) and as such I normally tried to explain that and let them be, but I imagined that it was a settings issue so I reluctantly agreed to help him. I explained to him that the app was no longer maintained and that the reason for it was probably that the developer abandoned it and that he would just have to look into the app, upon closer inspection the app itself was nothing more than a wrapper over google maps with trucker icons and a "trucker" interface, he was using the app as a GPS navigator and he could as well just have been using google maps.
The conversation was like this:
Me: Well this app is no longer supported, it will probably be taken off the google store soon, you can look for something similar or just change to Google maps
Retard: What? no! I came here in order for you to fix it, Metro needs to fix their own apps!
Me (in complete disbelief): We have no control over third party apps, and even for the ones that we provide the store has no control over them. But this app is not ours and so we can't really do anything about it.
Retard: Well WTF should I do? I have been having many issues with youtube and spotify, shouldn't Metro fix their Google store?
Me: Those apps are not ours.....wait, you seem to believe that we own youtube and spotify, those are not ours
Retard: How the fuck they are not yours! its your phone isn't it?
Me: Eh no.....Metro does not(at this point I was sort of smiling because I wanted to laugh) own youtube or spotify or the play store or even this phone, metro does not own Android or Samsung(his phone was a samsung core prime)
Retard: Well You need to fix this
Me: No I do not and I can not, the developer for this app abandoned it and has nothing to do with us
Retard: Well call the developer and tell him to fix it
At this point I was on a very bad mode since this dude was being obnoxiously rude from the beginning and it annoyed me how he was asking for dumb shit.
Me: Did you pay for this app?
Me: So you expect that some developer out there will just go about and get working for something that you did not pay for?
Why don't you just use Google maps as your GPS?
Retard: Don't be stupid, Google has no maps
At this point I show him the screen where there is a lil app that said maps, pressed it and voila! map comes to life
Retard: Well....I did not know
Me: Yeah....but I am the stupid one right?
** throws phone for him to catch
Me: Have a good one bud.
And my manager was right next to me, he was just trying to control his laughter the whole time. I really despised working in there and was glad when I left. Retail man.......such a horrible fucking world.7
5 of us working for a larger team were tasked with doing some R&D, we blew everyone away and were given funding to start a new team and hire people to make the project come to life.
One of the high level sales / product managers we were reporting to, secretly had another team work on a similar idea because he needed it quicker (i.e. no time for research, just build it).
After forming new team, we were asked to work on his project instead because it was further along. 4 months later, big knob comes to a meeting and basically says "You know what, this doesn't look like we have enough features, we need more, but I don't know what".
Project blew up 2 months later, head of the unit kicked up a shit storm saying how badly everything was planned and canned everything. Now one of our clients is building nearly the same thing we were originally working on, the team no longer exists and i'm back on the R&D team.
Don't get me wrong, I LOVE the R&D team, actually didn't want to leave in the first place but was told I had to. But the sheer anger and frustration to see that walking cluster fuck strutting around like his shit doesn't stink, derailing entire teams, meanwhile we can't hire new staff due to lack of funding.
Heres an idea, fire the fucktards bleeding us dry ... then we'll have lots of funding.
Today I was having conversation with my friend about time consumed in fixing errors. Our non coder friend was silently listening to us.
After we finished our lunch he stood up and said,
"You guys don't know how to handle time with efficiency. Why don't you ignore all the errors, finish your coding and fix all the errors in the end. It will save a lot of time"6
Everytime you see a newbie developer, please tell him to stop making jokes on hacking nasa with html6
The feeling when random dudes downvote a question, because a guy who finally earned some points on SO dared to format the code with `<code>`<br> He pasted code, log, even explained a little bit and ~500 point guy even flags it like _unclear_ although there's clearly visible import error.
I mean... as an answerer or moderator, I'd be damn ashamed for such behavior! I have absolutely no problem kick a person with words + explanation in my answer or comment, so that (s)he remembers to ask better questions and feels bad about that, because nooby questions are already answered so many times there.
But to downvote because of formatting even if you have a permission to edit and a flag for low quality or because you can't read ~40 lines of log makes you just a retard and hurt the whole remaining community of guys like me who find time to sit there and answer questions to help another people.7
Clients be like, why the fuck should I bother to check last commits related to tickets when I can just bother the developer when he's about to sleep...7
I dont always comment but when i do, its because i have written some code that may seem like i am a retard on first look.2
I’m going through the book automate the boring stuff and I’m working on the chapter with web scraping right.
Well I wanted to just count all of the comic links that are in the xkcd archive as a small exercise to help me get used to and better learn web scraping.
I go through hell trying to do this but after more than a few hours later I finally have done it I returned every link of ONLY the comics, so it was time to start counting them.
I implemented the counting. The total number as of today is 2279 and it my code counted 2278, and I started to lose it.
So I go through this motherfucker manually to see where my loops count and the count on the tags start to differ. I found it, whoever made it went from 403 to 405. The euphoria I felt for this incredibly small task was incredible. (Still haven’t pieced it together yet)
I found the email of the guy who I assume owns the site and I started writing an email that basically said “hey the count of your comics is off by one and you made me rethink existence trying to figure out why, you skipped number 404-”
I look at the gap between 403 and 405 Then the words “Error 404 Not Found” popped into my head. I proceeded to scream for a second and stopped writing the email and now I’m trying to come to terms with this.
TL:DR the guy who runs xkcd comics trolled me with a simple error 404 joke3
I never had any problem with Google tracking my activities. I love their services and I feel like they're using my data to really serve me better.
But I do have problems with Amazon and Facebook.
Amazon keeps disturbing me with their annoying ads recommending things I've already purchased.
Using Facebook on the other hand is like standing nude in public.19
So, it's 22:40 here and I'm sat on a bench staring out at a pond because my stress and anxiety is at an all time high after a couple of weeks of hellish arguments with work and my personal life so as were all developers here to some degree let me convey my fucking thoughts here.
If you care more about maintaining your fucking superiority complex over writing good clean efficient code then get the fuck out of the industry.
I don't give two fucks whether you use Linux or Windows. I couldn't give two fucks about whether you use sublime, Emacs or VIM. I couldn't give two fucks about the framework you spend more time defending than coding in, because absolutely none of it matters if you code like a retard on bath salts you pretentious cunts.
Stop feeding you fucking ego. Absolute cluster fuck of an industry.4
Missing those days when videos about latest technology had a meaningful comment section. Now it's 'pewdiepie vs tseries' everywhere.4
WTF is wrong with these Govt websites...!!!
Trying to login
"Password is incorrect"
Clicked on reset password,
Now guess what happened next...
ENTER YOUR CURRENT PASSWORD!!!1
Node.js homepage went full retard. Black people don’t need more Node?js. Actually, noone should need this.10
So today I saw someone using that retard units and I get a little bit frustrated. Then a side project idea popped out; a website called something like retard units to non-retarded units. It would simply convert between units and have a clear message that suggests stop using any retard units. Then I hit google to check if similar website exists and boom! I found this:
ITS SO FUCKING BEAUTIFUL. Also it has a feature that blocks you from converting metric units to retard units. A wonderful masterpiece!6
Now I feel bad for calling myself a programmer as a highschooler after seeing so many people shitting on the younger people. Goddammit I picked up programming because I thought it was cool and fun not because I want money or shit. I'm not the retard kiddies that overstate my ability. I like coding, I just like coding.
Now I wanna quit.7
I just had a programming test.
I'm such a fucking stupid retard.
What I should've written:
static bool NotAnd(bool a, bool b) => !(a && b);
What I did:
static bool NotAnd(bool a, bool b) => a != b;
So instead of !AND, I wrote a fucking XOR. I got everything else right but not the simplest of all.
Great birthday so far.4
Create this fucking account just to say: FUCK XAMARIN!
Mono is great on Linux, but Xamarin.Android is a GAY RETARD!
Fucking Xamarin.Android apps are retarded, wait for them 3 fucking seconds and a simple Hello World app doesn't start.
Retarded Xamarin.Forms make the whole pile of shit a lot worse using fucking abstractions and stuff. And the geniuses at Uno Platform does not make this shit any better.
Why don't those nerds at Xamarin make a way to compile all C# code to native JVM bytecode and provide all C# core libraries AS NATIVE JAVA LIBRARIES, RATHER THAN LOADING A NEW USELESS RETARDED VIRTUAL MACHINE ON THE JVM?
So that's it. Guess there's no way to write good Android apps using C#.9
I'm trying to explain to this dumb mf-er why we can't use send data simply.
It's a mobile platform I said, you can't rely on having network I said, the dumbass users might try it on 2% battery I said.
DO'H BUT MY INTERZ CAN DO IT IN 5 MINUTES.
Yeah, enjoy crashing the app with asynctask like a stupid bitch. When it fails under nearly every possible condition that deviates from the ideal, you can go write down how great your interns are, eat it up, shit it out and when you grow a flower from that, then I might help you again.
Retard server people.6
Modify the front-end code and noting change.
Empty the cache... ✔️ not work
Check xampp open... ✔️ not work
Check my sass compile... ✔️ not work
Compile vuejs webpack... ✔️ not work
Check my laravel route... ✔️ not work
Check with Xdebug... ✔️ not work
Go get coffee... ✔️Not work
See the url on stagging.<website>.ca in my browser ❌
😲🙄😅 Holy fucking retard i am...4
I genuinely want to murder the degenerate retard working at chrome how decided that extensions are allowed to open popups whenever they update.
NO ADBLOCKPLUS I DON'T GIVE A FUCK ABOUT YOUR NEW UPDATE JUST SHUT THE FUCK UP AND BLOCK YOURSELF YOU WORTHLESS CUNT4
Debian user since years, installed manjaro today, can't figure how to install jetbrain toolbox, feel very incompetent 🙃😢9
Broke down and asked the junior dev to help me hash out an issue. He's also struggling with it.
I'm not a retard after all... unless were both retards.1
Legacy code huh?
Well i'd say it would be when i was workng on an old java app that was apparently written by a retard.
He had used strings to represent booleans for no apparent reason. As if that wasn't bad enough he would use different strings too:
Y N true false 1 0
He used them randomly too , y and 0
N and true
I sense it was done on purpose
Perhaps he knew he was leaving soon2
I'm feeling empty. All my friends and roomates went home. But I stayed in hostel. I haven't touched my laptop from last 3 days. I'm just lying on bed staring at ceiling. I'm not even in a relationship, so I call my mother everyday to get the feeling of being loved.
This quarantine is strange. First few days I spent my time playing video games, watching Netflix, laughing at memes. But Now I'm feeling empty. Very strange thoughts are now occupying my mind. I'm sleeping 10+ hrs, and staring at ceiling or outside window most of the time. My room is a mess. Forget washing hands, I don't even feel like standing up to switch on lights.
I'm not saying I feel sad or depressed, I just feel very strange.20
How is it that notepad++ has an excellent, easy to use, lightweight and FREE ftp plugin, and every ftp plugin for VScode and sublime is equivalent to a retard fucking a doorknob?8
Ok, who's the fucking retard that brought his quadcopter to the beach and is flying it around over people's heads?
Hope you land it in the sea and it burns to a crisp, you fucking moron!!7
Worst code review had to be when a senior architect told me that my new library was good, but should be a bunch of files that we copy paste from project to project instead.
His comments were just so out of touch with a) what we were trying to fix with the team. b) basic understanding of good modularized code.
I’m far from a stuck up dev. Not stupid enough to think I’m better than everyone, or have nothing to learn from anyone.
But I totally had a “my boss is a ****ing retard” moment. It was hard to listen to him after this as it was hanging over my head “was I wrong? Or is this just no-library man striking again?”
Biggest one is dealing with idiots who break everything. Can’t space anything properly. Oh you needed that function? I got rid of it because it broke my code, and it was easier. Oh yes, just perfect, get rid of a core fucking function you retard that multiple parts of the code rely on. (Luckily it wasn’t pushed to the main, otherwise everything would’ve broken...)
Another one is finishing a damn project, I have like 20 by now... all in different languages that I want to learn. Time comes to work on it? Oh wait, let’s make this because it’s more fun! Just adding more projects to my graveyard.
Tech dumb Friend just came in with his laptop saying it was overheating and shutting down for d past 2 weeks for no fkin reason. Initial thoughts were dusty vents but wow i opened task manager and ders literally a bitcoin miner named GPUminer.exe running in d top of task manager task list. Retard mfs didn't even mask d mf name. Resetting d shitshow now thanks mr hax0rBoi.
Been here since 2/2017 and didn't make myself an avatar. I feel ashamed.
Edit: I hate the MM/DD/YYYY format. More shame on me that I did not notice it was in retard format.4
I'm in a small company so they don't have a big budget.
The previous I.T guy went full retard and decided that it would be a great idea to buy a shitty 200$ laptop with a soldered eMMc hard drive for accounting.
Since they NEVER use the cloud and just pass around excel files, the files aren't really saved anywhere but on the USBs and the computer.
Guess what ? The motherboard fucking fried and almost 6 MONTHS of accounting work was lost. Out of warranty of course, not that it would help since the eMMc chip is also fucked.
That's what you get for trying to cheap out on hardware and not choosing the right stuff.4
It is time for my own dumbass's favorite pastime: not letting go on retro tech.
I am gonna build a small and complete RESTful web API with Vbscript and Classic ASP with errrthing thrown in this mfker including JWT authentication and i am gonna see how the idea of an ORM goes. I know that COM interop was a thing, dunno if it still is.
I am fucking bored. The graduate degree is killing me and I need a distraction.
Thinking about being a purist and keeping the COM libraries to be made with VB.NET :P
Fuck yeah for being a masochistic retard.
I legit love vb net tho4
[story of your first dev project] - i really think there should be a headline like that for wk rants
Anyways, it was a while back, le college teacher approached my friend and me asking if we wanted to do a project. We said sure, it was a medium sized data analysis project. We got the specs with a lot of formulas, basically implement them all and make a web frontend, thats it. Took like a year but we did it. Few months later teacher is furious because the calculations didnt give him data that he expected (by expect i mean he thought that a distribution formula would accurately yield 200+ data fields from around 4) and blamed it on us. Not the retard other professor who fucked up half of the formulas. Ok.1
I want to call out the absolute retard at Oracle who decided that file modes should be read from the envvar called UMASK and be in decimal by default.
They probably never cared about file permissions.1
I was too concerned whether or not I should extend a feature, that I forgot to check if I could do so.
Now I've shot myself in the foot by breaking half of the feature and my only solution to make this work out as intented are quite ugly.
10/10 would do so again. Programming like a retard is the way hobby projects are meant to be. Best learning experience you could hope for.
Also, bless git for giving me a second chance in case I've gone full retard mode.4
When you look into the code of old developers with nice comments such as "What a fucking retard he is trying to book in the past". Just laught .1
Best client I have ever experienced. Kappa
So, I got job to recreate one old website, because the old one was incredibly fucked up. She told us, it was made by someone retarded.
The code was fucked up even more than UI. It was definitely written by some kind of idiot. Diacritics, mixed languages, no OOP, no FW, just copy&paste. Yeah copy and paste for every page.
The DB was another level of shit. Inifine is not enough to describe it. Column names with whitespace, diacritics, uppercase, lowercase...pure hell. Yeah and I had to import it.
Whenthe new website was ready for testing I got an email from her that it was her who made the website... HER!! Fucking hell, no more of this please!1
I think companies are not going more and more woke but they are appeasing to the crybabies so their profits won’t diminish in the long term.
So they are doing something worse, knowing the demands of these highly offended crowd are bullshit but they prefer to look like they agree with them, so some retard do not start a twitter thread about how github supports slavery by naming default branch master.
In the meantime, this appeasement emboldens and make those children bolder demands, like a baby wailing inside a mall to force parents to buy a candy.12
Now that is my rant inside someone else's rant inside my rant. Coincidence is that these screenshots are from our home feed1
Oh my god, I'm basically at the verge of self-destruction! I've been trying all day to set up a simple Node server with react, but it's never that easy, is it? You need Babel to transpile ES6 + JSX to ES5, and then you need Webpack for god knows what reasons, and there are so man configuration files and options, and there are 1000 tutorials with 1001 ways to do something. I've created probably 20 new project because when I complete a tutorial and try to do something on my own, all hell is loose and I get some cryptic error message and am unable to ever get it to work. Holy cow, I need a drink... Am I just a retard? Greetings from Norway, by the way!7
What a fucking retarded dickhead the laravel creator is, after having multiple hours/days of checking and asking people, we figured out, that apparently you cant mix variablenames in lumen afterall (like the docs are saying), so either you stick with the same variablenames you have in your route, make them all something different or you get fucked by random variables taking dominance and replacing the order completely. You'd think one can just make a PR to the docs on github and submit as much information as possible and it'll be fixed, right? no, you cant, that fucking blown balloony retard just closes it immediately with the notice of "I believe this is already noted in docs" - although it isn't thats the whole point you fucking blow up doll, how the fuck are people supposed to know your piece of shit will fuck the order completely, just because of one thing that isn't mentioned anywhere!3
Client: How many days do you need for this project
Me: 6 months
Client: That's too much. I researched and found that it shouldn't consume more than 3 months
Me: I'm sure you didn't researched on gradle building process (-_-)
Every single time I present a tool for data visualization:
"Oh that's great! Have you considered integrating it with service XYZ? It would be great to see the data from XYZ alongside this."
The answer I would like to give:
"No, you retard! Nobody gives a fuck about your crappy service! Nobody uses it, not even your own team! This is the 10th service that I've been asked to integrate and I don't have time to dig into the details of yet-another-shit. If you have time to waste, please go ahead but don't bother me."2
This girl is programming robots and watching them getting failed is the best thing you'll see today.
IONICS DOCUMENTATION SUCKS A FUCKING BIG ONE!! Well done on a shit welcome to ionic experience cunts7
I swear the God I'm considering getting a rabied dog just to bite your balls off in case I ever see you in the streets..
- guys X are running load tests on env A
- load tests complete
- analysis of test results is being done
- slow response times are obsered
- someone asks whether X guys took a thread dump for further analysis
- a guy from team X (Mr. Xx) replies: "Will take the Thread Dump now."
- 10 minutes later uploads the whole fucking 2GB log file to Slack
- Xx replies: "I do not see anything wrong in the dump"
A fucking retard... Shove that useless dump up your ass and THEN tell me there's nothing wrong with it! Why the FUCK do you think that's the case? Moron1
Remember how I made script to change brightness with keyboard shortcuts? https://devrant.com/rants/1845183/...
Well, after 2 days of complaining why the fuck this shit does not work anymore, I figured out I deleted it...also from trash.... OH, FUCK!!!3
Yesterday I went to pool campus recruitment drive and there were 3 rounds
1. Written aptitude test
2. Group Discussion
3. F2F interview
Cleared first round and got selected for second round out of like 80 students. (15-18 got selected)
Went to group discussion first topic was "Donald Trump Administration is threat to IT for Indian or not" and the all were saying he stopped giving visa to Indians, there is no opportunity for us there because of him and I was like wtf... And they think because of Trump, Indian people from Infosys got kicked out hahahaha wtf is this.
Second was how AI and Digitalization can help in growth of nation.
And again those girls hahahah one girl said by using AI we can make new technology and can explore galaxies. What the fathafucking fuck!!
And YES THEY GOT SELECTED.
(Whole HR team was non technical)5
I must be some kind of retard to think that a fallback font would actually handle the characters not handled by the previous fonts.
I hate configuring fonts so fucking much4
There's seriously a girl here following DAE (Game development) with one of them fancy tiny macbooks. Yes the one without escape. I wish her good luck and congratulations on being rich and a retard who ignores school advice on laptops4
watched a 32 min yt video of some guy artificially talking which sounded like those bloated marketing bait sites and after 32 min i realized it was just a preview of the ebook this retard was selling so he said to buy it to read it fully if we liked the 32 minutes wasted of our livves as a preview5
Today i just decided to move to ubuntu 17.04 from windows 10, is it hard to get project done fast with ubuntu? I need some thought, because windows really pissed me off from the lagging retard.15
I wish the retard to who wrote these programs before me had the decency to write some documentation. Even a few lines of comments.
Been working through this refactoring project for about a month now. It physically hurts to keep going through this guy's old code.7
You might be the best web developer out there, you might've worked on tons of frameworks seamlessly. But the feeling of changing <title> of a website feels powerful.
I avoided coding web apps for too long.
tried angular but I am such a retard that I just do not get it :/
started a project in blazor yesterday. still a lot of question marks but somehow I accomplished to finish something and feel this oddly exitement where I want to dive deeper 😁3
Blue-Light Filters be like:
"Let's spread unhealthy urine all over their screen. Their eyes loves this shit"
If ya ever feel frustrated as all fuck because that retard friend is too fucking dense to bundle a vue.js instead of pulling it from cdn for a fucking phonegap build.
0) get in yo car
1) find a bmw at a red lite
2) signal 4 race
3) floor dat shit and leave em in the dust bc bmws have no fucking launch control
Yall know who the fuck wrote this rant dontcha1
Can anyone please suggest me a good strategy game for android or desktop. A game which force me to think.14
So the class I TA is learning how to use heroku for website testing. It is going up on fire because of a shit tonne of errors everywhere. The professor is adamant heroku is what is used nowadays for testing (over using FTP) so we will have to help 200+ people troubleshoot without knowing much ourselves.
My question is what are some other modern website testing mechanisms? Preferably some that have retard proofing in them.3
apple you piece of shit just let me have xcode i dont want to make a stupid fucking account, so can you fuck off?
and why do you HAVE to have billing address information to create a fuckign account or am i a retard who cant figure out how to make a fuckign account without providing it because your UI is not retard proof enough
I started a company a while back that builds really simple wordpress sites and design for small businesses. I took a client on that needed things that were well above my skill level as a "programmer" and it's been equally frustrating and satisfying to consistently have the shit kicked out of me while spending hours trying to solve problem after problem. I've never worked for a company as a coder and one of the things I'm starting to wonder about is whether or not I'm "cut out" to be a programmer. I like doing it, but from a business owner perspective I don't know that I would actually want myself as an employee. My question is: does everyone feel like a ducking retard everyday they go at it with their job as a programmer?5
If you believe in God then you should afraid of AI. Because things you create doesn't mean it won't destroy your other creations.3
I fucking hate those cringy Indians commenting dogshit on almost every youtube video. Never have I even seen anyone more dumb than these retards. Almost every programming tutorial on youtube is infested with "plese sir pls teach me hw to hck i wnt to be a hckr" and "sir my phone no is xxxx and my email id is xxxx send me the cod plz". I mean even on css tutorial videos? seriously? No other third world country has such boneheads. I just hope each and every retard like this drops dead the moment they write stuff like this.11
.........wHAT KIND OF FUCKING RETARD MAKES A WHOLE 300+ paGE FUCKING BOOK AND NOT NAMING THE PAGE NUMBERS???????? HOW THE FUCK CAN I FUCKING REMEMBWR WHAT PAGE I WAS READING AT SO I CAN CONTINUE FROM THERE NEXT TIME?????10
I feel retarded...
After getting a new hard drive late at night bcoz my old one went kaboom, I put it in the case, wired it up but it wouldn't work, I tried connecting it to different SATA ports with different cables etc.. This went for 20 minutes and then I realized that the drive wouldn't even start spinning, then I discovered I hadn't connected it to the PSU. Fuck my life and fuck my retardeness.
Hey Game Developers,
I know this is the worst place to ask this question but still...
Is it possible that a game developer will make an online multiplayer game at a really low budget for me?
If yes then where can I find them?19
I asked someone to work on a project with me because I'm trying to make a game
They set up interactions with entities, I set up actual functions
Since I'm having trouble, I create a roster for people to sign
This one dude signs like he knows abso-fucking-lutely everything
And as we're sitting in the CS Lab the only things I can see and hear him doing is typing what he needs on github
and I don't really mind because hey
sometimes our brains slow down
but when I asked for help with this one thing he's out here treating me like a fucking retard
like okay at least I don't need github 24/7
in the end it went okay1
Once LinkedIn was a professional platform, now it has became the platform where everyone congratulates what they do not understand. Worst of them all is the fucking fake fale title everyone has. And stupid one is people commenting interested to some moron's retard post.2
Maybe I'm biased but is every person in my country who calls themselves a "devops engineer" a retard who knows nothing about devops and was hired by a bunch of retards or is it just the ones I'm blessed to cross paths with?6
OMG! What are you doing guys, the ultimate offer is here by Godaddy. Now I can afford food and domain at the same time, thanks Godaddy!5
I know it's old but it happened again and I had to waste a few minutes because I couldn't disable the bloody task this time.
But using psexec tools worked.
Guess micro and soft describes their ux team.
Look at the balls on their micro cocks. "Heads up". How dare you scare me like that on *my* fucking machine that I paid for, god dammit.
"We're going to make Windows better...". Can it suck my dick after updating? Because I'd like to choke the retard genes out of it.
The only thing that comes close to it is the fucking swiping keyboard that I'm using to type this rant.
Just saw my teacher clicking 100 times on the arrow button under scroll bar to get to the end of a web page.
Yesterday I spent my whole fucking day solving a bug from a Drupal multistep form, the kind of bugs you know it worked for a year then suddenly start to go full retard and simply not working at all
Took me half a day to get how it worked, half the rest to get why it stopped working and how to to make it work again, knowing that the "old fashion way" can't be applied anymore for dumb reasons (unless the client wants his user and payment history tables to be dropped, which I doubt)
I don't know if my solution is the best, but it works without too much tweaks, and hey, it still works today!!
My uncle was right, I should've gone for hotel management instead of being computer nerd.
My bartender friends think I'm more successful than them, but guess who's Virgin in his twenties and fixing bugs on a friday night..12
Apparently my code flunked during deployed cause some retard didn't pull the code and made his commit. Unfortunately this was after I MADE MY COMMIT.
I'm such a big dumbass causing a bad second-impression in my new job: missed the standup because I'm a retard at reading how Outlook shows you the time of a meeting when you accept it, the time shown is the time of the inviter not your local time! And that day-1 training? Had to be completed by yesterday. Had to message the higher up I knew and was available, own my shit and apologize. Received a call from the outsourcing company's boss as he got notify from HR of my faux pas with the training.
I need to do better...6
Stupid fckn assholes telling me their fckn client connects to the server using tls1.2 with ciphers specific to tls1. Stop fckn treating me as if I'm a retard. Fuck you for not knowing shit and writting shit down so you prove to everyone that you're fckn ignorant yourself. Don't get me started on your pki skills. Fckn morrons die, so we can make some progress.2
Aam I late or you guys too didn't knew about playemulator.com
I spent whole night refreshing old memories1
I had a compile error that I was missing a com reference. But on the pc of a colleague it compiled fine.
It was something from vlc, so I reinstalled vlc.
2 seconds after that my virus scan started shouting, alert, activeX element detected, removing.....
Which water buffalocock sucking piece of diarrhea stained retard (sorry for the retards I love you all a huggy bunch and you deserve better)
Uses an activeX element which even a virus scan can identify as completely unsafe
This is neither international nor Indian number system. Why no one made GoDaddy realise this stupid mistake yet5
Hey game developers out there, I'm going to publish my own game for the first time on play store. Any idea how do I get users to play my game? What are some cheap and good tricks to advertise?13
I really don't know what to do with those projects which I started confidently but then left when it was about to finish because I lost motivation3
"This is the last warning I'm giving you, don't you dare to talk to my gf"
"But I only listen to errors"
This website have a speaker icon on it's logo. It speaks 'Welcome to kpit' when you click on it6
I'm confused about this.
Is it possible to develop a programming language using non English language like Hindi, Arabic, Japanese etc..11
Previous Post: https://devrant.com/rants/1557094/...
Holy Lamas! The fucked up SharePoint Saga continues.
Lick my glory Cucumber!
2 Weeks ago, Project Department Boss:
We will put a hold to the SharePoint development. Our Proof of Concept failed, even free opensource Software provides more functions.
Me: Alright, I just told you that from the beginning, but this were two great months wasted. In this time I had more important Stuff to do. But thanks that your four workers are overpayd and do batshit, GREAT.
Meeting last week, Project Dep. Head:
We will continue the SharePoint development. We will migrate all of our Data, even if it has a lot of flaws.
We will use OneNote as Wiki.
Me thinking: That's it, we are doomed!! I will suck my own Cucumber sideways... Please just once care about the People using this Software. Why do you say I am the most crucial guy for this project and then give a fuck about my ideas?!🤬
No they only care for the payslip and the promotions, even if the Software is a Clusterfuck😭.
I wont stand if you start using over 200 OneNote Documents!! This decision will drive us straight Bollocks in to the wall. That would be data Terrorism 2.0 🤬
Honestly I will either start give a fuck and plan out my own tool or give up entirely. But I can't my superior is such a nice person and has the wish for a great tool 😥. She even appointed me to this position, because I'm more tech savy than her.
Next week I will have some talks, this cant go on. Burning Millions of Dollars for years and just presenting shit. I never had dreamed, that I would be involved in such shit 🤦🏻♂️
If I start to dev myself, I will do it private beside my job, write up all my hours and get them payd out as a dev and not as a Supporter (Yea my position is IT-Supporter). That would be 180 $ per Hour.
Then I will show the fuckfaces how it's done. This was also suggested by my superiour, she's really a great person ❤️
Fucking retard Liferay.....
At least 2 users (one inour team and another at client's) are claiming they've successfully opened a portlet view multiple times at day X. And a month later it stopped working.
I open up Liferay's (tomcat's) localhost_access.log and can see all the portlet requests at day X have returned http:400
Normally I would consider the human factor and rule this as a human error, assuming they were connected to another environment, another server, etc. But since this is The Fucking Liferay - I'm not that fast in trusting even logs :(
Who the fuck made this piece of shit....6
Why a trillion dollar company is dependent on someone else's data centres?4
Was trying live image of nitrux os during our class break today, chilling out, eating lunch with friends. Out of nowhere THIS fkin retard comes in, looks at screen and shouts in front of d class "yo linux is trash never use linux i used zorin for a week worst fkin experience of my life" and goes away before i cud respond.
My friend signalled me to keep calm as my anger was apparent. Mf I wanted to fkin slam my laptop on dis fucker's sly face and gut d kid. Friend slowly instructs "in time, brethren, in time"
He just asked me for a windows activator. Thinking of sending a bitcoin miner virus.4
I used to think that I can understand things and logics behind them preety well, until I came to knew that ByteDance ( parent company of tiktok and vigo video ) is more valued than Uber.
Seriously, this is the first time I'm seeing a company which serves entertainment is above than the company which is solving legit global problem.4
Just uploaded my first practice project on GitHub. It is an AI based flower identifier. Any advice or guidance is extremely needed. I want to become good in training neural networks. Please provide feedback! Thanks.
Hey Game developers,
I'm making a roulette game for a client. He wants that the motion of ball in wheel should look completely random but it should fall into desired number i.e. the outcome of roulette wheel should be predetermined, not random. Any idea how do I do that?6
Tryed to update bios within Windows. Let te application work for about 30 minutes. Want to cancell, click on the cancel button. Wait some minutes. Shut the PC down. Doesn't boot anymore. I'm retarded.6
Can anyone please tell me what does this actually mean?
I'm literally asking..5
Mhm my windows just went full retard on me and I was such a mastermind that before I installed win10 I installed a kali linux so that when the windows would fail to boot then and only then would kali boot up to save my arse...then again , apparently , grub dislikes windows over it so...I'm just sitting here...in my kali cave , with kali only booting when my phone is connected via usb (?) searching like mad for a usb stick...I made this whole failsafe thing so long ago I barely remember how I did it...
Only just spent an hour like a fucking retard trying every possible solution to something so basic even a toddler could fix it by mashing keys on the keyboard to finally realise I was working on the wrong fucking view!! 😀🔫
completely unrelated to work but when i'm a speedreading retard and i meet somebody who is an even bigger speedreading retard, it infuriates me despite the irony of pot calling kettle black
like bruh i gave you what you asked for, READ
God damn it! I've already bumped your limits to 5x the initial value! What the fuck you you want again!! Piss of you WMI-retard-host!14
Whenever I'm trying to get something done urgently suddenly something wrong happens. And then a chain of 'something wrong' starts. It doesn't matter how many different ways I try, there's always something wrong waiting for me on the way.
And when I try to fix 'something wrong', something else wrong happens.
I feel like this whole universe, each and every atom in this galaxy is trying to fuck me up.3
Just tried some keyboard type practice. I'm stuck at around 30wpm (40 is average) and feel like I've hit a cognitive barrier. Whatever I do I mess up the R und T keys frequently as well as occasionally some other keys. I feel like a retard, as I sometimes need to rethink where the key is that I want to press, even though I've hit it like a thousand times before.
In the beginning I was a retard, but then found out about React Query, learned it, made some abstractions around Axios and my JWTs, and now I have 200+ IQ.
God bless Tanner Linsley, you mormon crazy bastard, you did it, you made my life easier.8
Prof ranting about me cause I asked why he had an increase of 3.5dB when doubling voltage on his ppt. Told me I should have searched online to get why it is 3.5dB
YOU FUCKING RETARD IT IS 3.01 AND YOU CAN CALCULATE THAT1
Almost all people who are unfamiliar with modern websites don't know that they don't need to 'allow notifications' to access a website's content.
My parent's phone is always showing 99+ notification.
We need to do something about this, we're responsible.4
Best: Initiated the formal process to get a work visa, which is really the first step into settling down here after my studying period.
Worst: Have to work with with WordPress sometimes, and 80% of the other system's tech stack being new, making me feel like an absolute retard because I'm slower than a drunk snail.
Overall a nice year, despite 2020 shitting all over everyone.
When grafic designer design a list of products where on top of the page is header with title, category description, big fucking image, big fucking category navigation and on second screen list of the products.
Just why? Why put the important stuff (products) on second screen? Just why? You have three asses of space, you fucker. You can put category list on fucking SIDE. How many time you did this shit?
What about multilevel categories when menu just show current category children? I need to go fucking back or what? FUCK YOU! Stick this stupid boxes into your ass and design real navigation.
What is so fucking great to having big ass monitors and design more and more one column websites, just why you fucking retard?4
fuck VBA, fuck retard business users, who think it's proper to use it in 2019....
fuck them all, with their "save money" shit, then expect old shit to work "like at google".... let's STOP USING SHITTY LEGACY TECH, JUST BECAUSE THE LEADERS ARE TOO INCOMPETENT AND NEVER INVOLVE TECHNICAL PEOPLE FOR SELECTING SOFTWARES / SOLUTIONS....
Go back to the 80s and give'em a terminal to work... I'd like to see those fuckasses in pain....3
Okay so I was ignoring Windows 10 update from past few days. Today I turned on my PC and it's saying
Deleting your data
Don't turn off
Been wondering about something and can't figure out if I am a retard or a genius 😂.
If MD5 is so outdated and should not be used to store password hashes (let's say for whatever reason you cannot effectively switch to another algorithm) wouldn't it just be easier and more secure to just re-encrypt the hash again, so just MD5 the MD5 hash... in theory, wouldn't that make the hash virtually uncrackable because instead of trying to brute force actual real words, you now have a hash of essentially random characters which have no relation to the others, and even then, suppose you manage to crack the hash, you will get another hash to crack before getting to the password?5
So I got a client and he says that he have issues with his bank account paying online. So he'll only pay thru cheques.
Client is American and I'm Indian. Any idea what should we do?16
why almost every time the team manager/boss/... is a fucking retard that don´t know the tech of the current century?2
Fixed the bug tested multiple times the build. When uploaded on stage not working. Debugging, debugging ... i forgot to push.. blah
Funny conversation I overheard while buying groceries ..
Person 1: why is it, programmers always seem so sad, negative.. Depressed?
Person 2: well, the less you know the happier you go.
Take a look at retards.
Person 1: sigh. I want to be happy.
Person 2: Remove your lust and you're left with happy.
Person 1: wut?
Person 2: look at that retard over there, shouting happy by itself.
Person 1: I see. But how would I apply it.
Person 2: well, I don't think shouting like that retard requires much application.
Person 3(me): don't worry, be happy.
So I picked up an interesting project to work on. Visit https://minilancer.in to check LIVE stats of coronavirus cases worldwide. I'm using coronavirus API from rapid api
fuck you onelogin, saml and corporate login for being difficult to setup and understand (still haven't achieved either)
also fuck you outdated documentation
when you drag in a senior to help you and they think you're a retard (true), "just read the docs" (attempted), you have them try to babysit you through the setup and they realize the docs are not up to date/retard proof enough to get a proper setup on your end1
Im going to shove their soapy WordPress plugin up their ass sideways.
Just had to reverse engineer a WordPress plugin communicating with a SOAP API.
Why? Because the stupid fucking retard company thinks "we do not support custom integrations at this time, only plugins for certain CMS and some external providers" IS IN ANY WAY AN OK THING? IT IS NOT.
And i am feeling ashamed for having purchased a WordPress plugin (100 bucks) just for reversing it. My server even has to Report to them as wordpress to get access.
So fucking typical for swiss companies
Edit: also, they state they DO support custom integrations on their main website :/
When you do some group programming and let yourself get led wasting an entire day into writing 6 out of ~12 tedious higher level unit tests with lots of data setup and jerry rigging, that turn out to not even test the code changes you made on a ticket that another team is depending on.
But thank you to your tech lead for helping rope you out of that stupid shit with knowledge and clout.
Unfortunately the ticket has your name on it and everybody except the goon squad probably thinks you're a retard for going down that adventure (which was not your idea or desire).
I need to learn how to articulate no this isn't worth it, the complicated monolith software architecture with many different moving parts, among many other things.
How is it that a customer ends up "failing" some development work which was our (my) idea, presented to them as a proof-of-concept solution to a problem?
Mentioning some phantom specification and saying "it's not this and it's not that".
You'll get what you're given you fucking little retard piece of shit. Sorry I opened my fucking mouth, you can struggle in future you stupid, inconsiderate fucking hollow-brained bastard. Shove it up your arse and take your manager's dick out of your mouth. They think you're a fucking prick too, just like your parents.
I was scrolling through my past rants and found this gem
I posted it when images were not loading due to expired ssl. Looks like everyone who saw this got tricked!!
Despite having good speed, any website/app on my phone (other than Google, Youtube, Gmail, Instagram etc..) are either not opening or loading very slow.
Due to this I can't get my work done because I use my phone's internet to work on laptop.
Can't find any solution online because most people are giving solution for desktop and wifi router.
This happened after I changed my ISP. Previous ISP was working fine and now I'm regretting it.5
There are people who develop Neural Networks/Deep Learning Models/AI based Softwares.
Does anybody know what do we call them? Is it okay to call all of them Machine Learning Engineer/AI researcher/AI engineer?
If I'm looking for someone who can make AI based program for me. Whom should I be looking for on freelancer or LinkedIn?1