This facts are killing me

"During his own Google interview, Jeff Dean was asked the implications if P=NP were true. He said, "P = 0 or N = 1." Then, before the interviewer had even finished laughing, Jeff examined Google’s public certificate and wrote the private key on the whiteboard."

"Compilers don't warn Jeff Dean. Jeff Dean warns compilers."

"gcc -O4 emails your code to Jeff Dean for a rewrite."

"When Jeff Dean sends an ethernet frame there are no collisions because the competing frames retreat back up into the buffer memory on their source nic."

"When Jeff Dean has an ergonomic evaluation, it is for the protection of his keyboard."

"When Jeff Dean designs software, he first codes the binary and then writes the source as documentation."

"When Jeff has trouble sleeping, he Mapreduces sheep."

"When Jeff Dean listens to mp3s, he just cats them to /dev/dsp and does the decoding in his head."

"Google search went down for a few hours in 2002, and Jeff Dean started handling queries by hand. Search Quality doubled."

"One day Jeff Dean grabbed his Etch-a-Sketch instead of his laptop on his way out the door. On his way back home to get his real laptop, he programmed the Etch-a-Sketch to play Tetris."

"Jeff Dean once shifted a bit so hard, it ended up on another computer. "

>monster energy drink
>brutal dubstep
>neon green keyboard&mouse
>sick 4k 21:9 monitor
>
>contemplating killing all my coworkers

Lost half the tip of my thumb to a motorbike chain. Can't code for a month. :(

The boredom is killing me.

Why isn't there a swipe keyboard/decent voice input for programming?

I wish I would have picked faster shipping for my first mechanical keyboard I ordered this weekend... The wait is killing me and I have to wait a whole week until it comes in lol. Hurry up Fedex! I need to annoy a coworker.

My mother hits the keyboard like it was a typewriter. I'm thinking buy a keyboard for her only.

well fuck me, I think I've a chance of killing my laptop...my personal 1... with water...It's unpluged now and hopefully get better after drying...no smoke, so that's good and the keyboard is supossedly water resistent... but still the linux froze...

If you're on the Threads page in Slack, why is there no keyboard shortcut to expand new messages and put your cursor in the text box?!?? Using the mouse is slowly killing me on the inside...

At home. Phone and backup drives connected to the computer, nothing else (no external monitors, no mouse, no extra keyboard). I like it zen. One of the drives makes this turbine-like sound when on, which gives me the "ALL SYSTEMS GO" alert I need. Couple of albums lined up on [insert music streaming service here], boosting on the Bluetooth speakers.

I can work for 12 hours straight like that. (Twelve hours later, takes eyes off the screen, *blink blink blink*, is there any food in the house, oh, wow, my kidneys are killing me, when was the last time I took a piss?, also I should definitely take a shower, but while I'm doing that I can think about that class interfacing with that other one and making them... wait, I should write this down... sits down again)