Killing your co-worker.

Best prank I did to a office must be that one I did when I was 7 years old:

> Sat at a schoolcomputer and explored stuff
> Found alot of network printers
> Found one called "city hall front desk"
> Created a word-document with the biggest font possible
> Wrote "Dick"
> 2000 pages of the word "dick"
> Print 2000 copies

> Did the same to a kindergarten and a "rival school"
> Never got caught because I used my teachers novell account ( the password was his name)

I miss novell

When I'm right in the middle of a difficult piece of code/algorithm and a colleague gets me a cup of coffee without me asking

This happens way too FUCKING often:
Random person: Hey, can I have your number so I can text you?
Me: Yeah sure! *gives number*
*A few days later*
Person: Hey you gave me your number to message you but I can't find you on whatsapp???
Me: no indeed....?
Person: Well, then why did you give me your number?!?
Me: you asked if you could TEXT me, I don't have whatsapp.....?
Person: Ohh but I meant whatsapping.... that's like the same

THAT'S NOT THE MOTHERFUCKING SAME!!! TEXTING != WHATSAPPING YOU FUCKING COCKSUCKING MOTHERFUCKING ANNOYING PIECE OF GRRRRRRRRR

My face when a developer suggests to use Windows server instead of Linux for speed and security reasons

How programming teachers must feel sometimes...

Hoorah! My code finally works! Now gotta remove those 1000 print statements I used to identify the bugs 😥

Student - Teacher renaming .c to .exe make the program executable ?

Teacher - Yes

A group of people stand up and walking to the door

Teacher - Where are you all going ?

Students - We are going to drop this class.

How do you call a bad Linux admin?
-The ROOT of all evil.

Exams coming up for me at my study (I'm in my fifth year). Only I found out that YOU HAVE TO CHOOSE BETWEEN FUCKING MAC OR WINDOWS. YEAH, LOOK AT MY FUCKING USERNAME. I HAVEN'T USED WINDOWS PROPERLY IN 7 MOTHERFUCKING YEARS SO NOW I'M GOING TO HAVE TO FATHERFUCKING LEARN IT IN ABILITY TO USE IT NORMALLY AT MY EXAMS. FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCKING FUCKITY FUCKING MOTHERFUCKING FUCK.

Yes, it was announced that you could also use Linux a few months ago.

FUUUUUCK.

I'll take my degree now pls

Not sure if Google Assistant is playing dumb so it can cheat me out of a point or is actually dumb :)
Considering how well it works otherwise I'd say it's cheating :)

Teaching some python to my cat