Student - Teacher renaming .c to .exe make the program executable ?

Teacher - Yes

A group of people stand up and walking to the door

Teacher - Where are you all going ?

Students - We are going to drop this class.

Our programming teacher had a surgery on his left eye and will not be able to do the lessons with us. Guess what the subject of the email he sent us was.

"I can't C#."
He made a pun about his fucking health status, alright then.

Me Vs a PHP teacher

Him:
And to do login, we just do SELECT username WHERE password = (userinput)

Me:
Really? Checking raw userinput against plaintext password?

Him:
There is no point in doing it securely here because if they want, the students can go take a seperate course on security

Me:
So no point in teaching students that they should write their code secure by default and just leave it as a afterthought?

Him:
Yes, because this is how i have always done it

Me:
———

Him:
Okay, time for a break
*leaves room*

Me:
*Uses the break to teach all students about sql injection, password hash and salt, rainbow tables and user input sanitizing*

Him:
*comes back*

Students to teacher:
He's right, if you dont teach us to code securely by default, we are likely to end up causing a data leak or be hacked, if you dont teach us properly we have no point coming here

Me:
*Smiles at the teacher with a face that says: Pwnd*

Him:
Alright then, tell me whats wrong in my code

I was so proud that i helped the class understand secure by default principles

teacher gives a question in a test : can you save a word document as a pdf.

me :Yes

teacher :that is wrong

me : shows her how to do it..

teacher : "oh well "

Teacher: press F5

Student: presses f then 5

Me: dies

(In science class)

Teacher: What are clouds made of?

Me: Servers, preferably Linux.

Teacher: ?

//long rant but worth it ;)

In our class, we had some writing in Word.

I was the smart PC guy in the class which everybody asked for info. Even the teacher sometimes asked me.

There was a girl in class which I didn't really like, because she had a snoopy attitude and thought she is a queen.

In MC Word you can hide the toolbar with the little arrow on the top right below the close button.

Somehow the girl hid the toolbar and didn't know to let it reappear again. After half a hour the teacher got to the next lesson.

She held her hand up and reported to the teacher that here PC has problems. After 10 minutes try & error from the teacher he even didn't get it.

Now the teacher started the rant and shout at her: "How did you even manage to do this? Did you upload a virus? I bet it is a virus! Do you know how much it costs to repair this pc? It's sure over 1000 $."

The rant continued for 15 minutes. After that I felt a bit guilty and even I didn't like that girl, but nobody deserves such a harsh treatment.

Without saying anything I went to the computer, clicked the little arrow and the problem was solved. The teacher didn't say anything to this topic. Just said we can go early.

Sometimes dump people make a elephant out of a fly, just because they don’t know it better…

Well the girl still stayed a cunt till the end of my scholarship.

*me coding in Atom in world history class*
*Teacher walks over*
Teacher: Are you on task?
Me: I'm taking notes.
Teacher: It doesn't look like it.
Me: I set a dark theme for Microsoft Word.
*Teacher walks away*

Best quotes from IT teacher:

- "C# is a language to program your IDE."
- "C# is a language for beginners, and is not really used in production."
- "We won't use Python to learn programming, because Python is a very old, slow and useless language, and is not really used anymore."
- "Yeah, your algorithm is fantastic, but you wrote 'The answer is: ' instead of 'Answer: ', so it's just a B."
- One of my classmates was bored and opened Notepad++, and when the teacher saw it, she said "I have been teaching programming for years, but I've never seen this program, what do you use it for?"

I feel so lucky that I have started learning programming years before at home, I just couldn't start if I had to learn this way.

I have a teacher that does nothing but reading from powerpoint slides.
Wrote a script that does a better job.

My teacher shouted at me - "Go to hell".
What really hurt me was 'goto'.

"When you have a problem you can't solve, just google it. If you don't find another person that has encountered the same problem/error as you, you're doing something wrong."

- Software Engineering teacher, 2016

My teacher gave me "winrar.rar" file for install winrar.

Our programming teacher showed us some parts if his code the other day. When I asked him why he got an empty if-block in there he responded with "cause I only need the else-block"

Today,
First day of new dev class...
Teacher, "As you know Tablets, Smartphones, Smartwatches etc... Are not allowed in class, except Laptops."
Me,
"Is a Surface allowed?"
Teacher,
"Is it a Laptop?"
Me,
"Yes, but also a Tablet.."
Teacher,
*Furious*
"NO TABLETS"
Me,
"Bu.."
Teacher
*Still furious*
"YOU ARE HERE TO LEARN HOW TO BE A GOOD RELIABLE DEV, SO LISTEN"
Me,
*Proceeds to Lift up surface from Keyboard*
Teacher,
*Rips surface out of hand and goes to secretary*
"You can have it after school"
Me,
*Sitting there speechless with nothing to develop with*
10 Minutes later
*rector comes in and gives me surface back*
Me,
Thank you
*Proceeds to use surface*
...

The Teacher hates me...

CS teacher tip of the day:

server side input checks and sanitization are always useless. because nowdays all browsers have javascript enabled by default and nobody disables it. so client-side checks are safe.

me: ***WTF!?!***

Blockchain is a programming language similar to Scratch. You know, drag&dropping blocks together.
~ my IT teacher

Dear teacher,

Megabytes != Megapixels

My (high school) computer science teacher once screamed "I've been hacked!" randomly during class.

... She apparently just accidentally pressed middle mouse button, so her cursor changed ...

Ok..

Why do teachers tell students that HTML and CSS are outdated "programming languages" that nobody uses and that big companies (like Google and Twitter) use stuff like Google sites or WordPress or wix??? Do they want kids to fail?

At my study in the first year we had a Linux course and at the end we would all be graded.

Everyone was nervous as fuck except for me.

We had to go in one by one and everyone came back with this 'well that was damn close' face. Apparently the teacher was quite strict.

Then it was my turn.

It took about half an hour and we did the following:

- talk about Linux and the philosophy behind it
- talk about compiling programs
- talk about Linux servers
- talk about what distro's we'd used
- talk about DE's and which ones we preferred

- actual grading/showing my assignments: 'nah I believe you, you'll get a good mark!'

So I basically got the best mark with hardly showing anything because the teacher knew I could do it and rather just had an interesting convo with me 😁

Love how a teacher of mine described IO wait for CPUs on a blackboard.
"That's calculation time." *draws three small lines on the blackboard* And this is IO wait. *draws a really long line, goes out of the class, out of the school, comes back* "Yes, this is IO wait. No matter how good and fast your CPU in your gaming PC is, if your hard drive is shit, everything is shit."

> works ass off on a senior project
> 75/100
> classmates buy their projects
> 85+/100

Me:*connects up laptop to projector via wifi bc teacher doesn't know shit about computers*

Teacher: *sits at computer*
Teacher: *closes the program that streams to projector*

Me:*facepalm*

Teacher: "Why did it stop working did you set it up wrong?"

Our database teacher pronounces "node" as "nude"

Hilarity ensues.

Another funny Linux encounter from my study that I suddenly remembered.

This guy said he didn't want to work with things/services that use Linux because he wanted to support software devs by buying software. I get the idea but yah...

Linux teacher: well then why don't you start with disconnecting from the WiFi. After that drop services like fb and WhatsApp which you use a lot. Also, good luck in the dev world as you're mooost probably going to encounter Linux and for being able to finish this study you'll need to succeed on Linux classes as well!

He just sat there like 'help'. A lot of fellow students were giggling as well.

Really though, my Linux teacher was an awesome young guy!

From the same teacher who tried to style a <title>

Teacher: "Are you using HTML or CSS for your website"

Teacher: "Whats that key thingy?"
Class: "You mean the keyboard?"
Teacher: "Yes, that one!"

I shit you not, she was my IT educator for a year.
Send help.

Today let me see how much of a better HTML/CSS lecturer I had before. The new guy just does everything from W3Schools while the older one, after telling us the basics, just gave us .psd files and let us figure out what was what and we learned a lot from that.

If only there was a way in java to say that you were overriding a method...

Teacher: *writes <!doctype html> in his web page*

Teacher: Of course we're going to use HTML 5 for our application!

Also teacher: *continues to demonstrate <center> and <font> tags*

Ffs...

Teacher: Make a PPT presentation on *blah blah* with no animations or colors and present it next week.

*Next week*
I go and connect my laptop and open my presentation in a PDF file.
Teacher: Wait! You are using pdf. I said ppt.
Me: Yeah, you said no animations and a pdf file is much lighter than a ppt file.
Teacher: you are disqualified!

*facepalm*

According to my teacher you should better store the ISBN of a book into an int than in a String.

My programming teacher is a freaking degenerate. He spend 7 months teaching us basic stuff like if-clauses, while-loops and stuff like that over and over again - everyone was annoyed but he didn't listen to us because "some people still don't get it". (The reason for this could be their total absence during lessons but who am I to tell.)
Beginning of 2018 he realised we hadn't much time left to prepare for our final exam so he tried self-taught learning. 8 sorting algorithms, recursion, how to write classes and objects in less than a week. And of course there was a classtest about this - needless to say that like nobody passed it. He still has no clue why we are "so lazy and dumb".
One of his favourite code examples is a calculator. I don't know how many i've programmed and they've gotten more and more ridiculous. (Who the hell would want interfaces like IComparer in a calculator?)
He even wanted to convince us that for-loops can't count down (and that things like "i--" doen't exist.)
I could go on and on about this guy and his craziness.

I SWEAR THIS JUST HAPPENED:

My Teacher: *Sends a random programming question to solve on the class group*

Fellow Classmate: *sends solution within a minute*

My Teacher: Good, but everybody knows how to use the internet only a few know how to use the brain. We now know which category you belong to.

😂😂😂

I hate my IT teacher... I signed up for a "general IT course and web designing". Thought I will actually learn something new.
Then, the teacher tried to convince me that "RGB was a german guy that invented the RGB color system - hence its name".
Also, he was telling us that "CSS3 is a bad clone of real CSS" and all sorts of similar BS.
I am seriously asking myself who gave this idiot a job? I am speechless, I think I'll just drop out.

Teacher : The world is fast moving, you should learn all the new things in technology. If not you'll be left behind. Try to learn about Cloud, AI, ML, Block chain, Angular, Vue, blah blah blah.....

**pulls out a HTML textbook and starts writing on the board.

<center>.............</center>

If my teacher was this cool ....

!dev

TL;DR : I am sad about wonderful people that might lose their job and passion because of dumb fucking little shit eaters.

My 14yo sister told my family and me, today, about her science teacher who's a young unexperienced woman. She tried, at the start of the year, to be the "friendly" kind of teacher, allowing to eat or drink during class as long as it doesn't disrupt others, but quickly had to become severe because the students would not respect her even a bit (they still don't). They talk and never listen during her classes, they don't say hello, good bye, or anything when they see her, they are openly disrespectful towards her, etc..
As a result, the classes don't go well, the student don't learn anything, and these little hairy sweatballs still have enough nerves to go rant about her at her superiors ! The superiors answered that they're going to fire her next year since so much student complain about her.
FUCK.
- Thinking she was the problem, she assisted to some other teacher's science course to learn how to dispense her owns, in hope she could understand how to interest her students. These wonderful blond heads mocked her for that (I guess that self improvement is something laughable for the next generation)
- Students wanted some blank exams from previous years for a kind of country-wide exam they are going to take. She brought a whole box of it, not even one dipshit took one. Seeing that, my sister took some just to cheer her a bit.
- Students wanted some remedial course. She organised one, booked a room, prepared a lot of exercises and synthesis to hand them out. Would somebody care enough to show ? Not even one. She stayed 2 hours alone in hope that some student would come late.
- Once she was a bit ill and came to school anyway. After she left the room to go to the toilets because she had some food trying to go out from the wrong way, she came back after and tried to finish her class, while she would have had the right to go home and rest...

That's the kind of people who love their job and tries to do it well. Teaching is something beautiful and wonderful, and actually aiming at dispensing it in the best way possible is a great quality. She's available and volunteer, and all she gets is whining students and the risk to lose her job. She was smiling at the start of the year, now she just seem on the edge of crying everyday, every minute. According to my sister, she's the only teacher who's actually trying to teach, and she's the least rewarded of them all.
That fucking breaks my heart. I would smack their tiny pinheads with my terminally ill dog shit if I could. Because of them, she's may lose her job, and worse, her passion. She may become some bitter teacher, dispensing boring material because she has to eat, or just quit teaching altogether, while the world needs more people like that...

I'm sorry for the long rant, but I had to share it, it burdened me. I have a very deep respect for (real) teachers and this kind of story touches me on a very personal level... I hope my children won't be like that (I will make sure they won"t), and I hope the youngest devRanters here aren't like that either. I feel like many people never recognize the luck they have and the wonderful people they meet. You fucking have a chance to learn, to get an education, to raise your brain, to prepare your future, to sharpen your thinking, to enhance your knowledge... And you just piss on it like it was a dead pigeon. Well guess what : you are the dead pigeon. Or you would if you had wings, because at least, one day, the pigeon flew. You, you just dig some stinky hole in your own ignorant excretions, decorating it with glitter and calling it "swag".

I told my sister to go talk to the superiors and try to make them think twice before blindly firing a hopeful person. If they have to do it, the least they can do is to ask themselves why. I also told her to give this teacher some comforting words, just a short letter to let her know that her efforts don't go unnoticed. I think if was in that kind of situation, it would help me a bit if even one person came to tell me that I do well...

I really hope this teacher will be doing well next year and won't give up.
Please educate your children to appreciate what they have and to be supportive, even towards older people. They will grow appreciated and appreciating. Don't let them become spoiled shits who thinks life is doing everything just for them.

when your teacher says he prefers this:
class A
{
// code
};

over this:
class A {
// code
};

me: can u not

At introduction of new class teacher asked which _one_ of the following isn't a programming language:
- Swift
- Pseudocode
- Haskell
- HTML

Took my chance on HTML, but apperantly pseudocode is less of a programming language according to him.

Awesome teacher number two: another Linux teacher!

Didn't have many classes from him but damn he could interact with the students!

He was very open (it just autocorrected that to porn O.o) minded, very passionate about Linux and new shitloads about security. You'd expect him to be like 50 as for his knowledge amounts but he was around 27 I think.

He could go into discussions with students on the windows vs Linux subject, made it look like they were winning and then completely burn them in just a few sentences.

I think he liked me a lot because we would talk all kinds of Linux stuff.

He'd also help people with windows sometimes but windows servers where a very fucking no-go for him.

Man, I miss that guy 😞

Going to have to do multiple rants on this one as I've had three awesome teachers.

Number one: Linux teacher.

He was around his 40's to mid 40's I think and he loved talking to people who also had the same passion (linux) about it.

When we had Linux classes which everyone hated, he'd always let me free. He knew I'd be able to finish the 10 weeks' assignments within an hour or so (took me half an hour instead of 10 lessons) so he just said: go do whatever you want.

Aaaaand instead of doing my own thing I ended up saving the whole class.

Yeah he was a very open minded guy who was awesome with linux/the students.

During viva (computer practical day)
What others wrote:

C language.

void main()

What i wrote

int main(int argc, char* argv[]) and a return 0 at the end.

Him(teacher of another school that came to take our test): what is this? *proceeds to ask my teacher to see what I've done cuz apparently you don't ask the author of the code if you don't understand it*

Me: explains him and my teacher does too

Him: oh ok i see now.. But remember, you don't mess with functions cuz that's like messing with army (so use void and never return anything). Especially main function thats like the army chief(so use void cuz oh boy that int messes up main real bad). You'll get warnings if you run this.

Me(outside): umm.. Mhmm..

Me(inside): you tried to save yourself from revealing that you're shit but you just made it worse.

Seriously i bet you they have never worked in a software company before. Just worked on stupid uni projects(if they even have a real computer related degree).

When your high school computer science teacher doesn't know what git is.

When I was studying OOP our teacher instructed us to submit a project at the end of semester. Me and my friend worked hard and enthusiastically and finished our first game in C++ (Ping Pong). We were very excited because we had put so much effort into it that we were 100% sure that our project will be the best among all. At the end of semester, turned out our teacher does not have much time to evaluate our projects, so instead he announced a motherfucking MCQ's quiz. Everyone got really really happy but I was thinking of multiple ways I could kill that bastard.

Last teacher rant from me and this one is about: my mentor.

Let's call him Bob.

He was a person who'd always be ready to help you out, did some lessons on bullying and the effects of it, stood by me many times when I'd have hard times with something I'd trouble and one of the most important things, he had a very good sense of humor!

Also, since I always wore a suit (still do), he introduced 'FaF' day, aka, Fancy as Fuck day. Every Wednesday the guys who wanted to would come in suits.

Yup, he got me through loads of stuff, miss that guy :)

Watching my teacher trying to teach HTML to students

I had a teacher telling me I was not allowed to Google in my Android project....

(While there is also IntelliJ on the PC)

Teacher : "We're going to make JAVA, please open Eclipse"

Me : *Opens IntelliJ, get weird looks from friends and explains why it's good*

Our programming teacher always wanted us to do this (in C#):

somedatatype somevarname;
somevarname = somevalue;

You were NEVER allowed to:

somedatatype somevarname = somevalue;

"Can't I just do it in one line?"
"No."
"Why?"
"<insert dumb statement here that gives no reason whatsoever>"

I'm a better dev than my teacher 😔🔫

My teacher was presenting and her pp crashed. She just continued with her presentation but her desktop was showing. I instantly noticed she had a "stickynote" with her login details for our grading system and I tried telling her to put her laptop to sleep or anything but she got mad at me for interupting class and threw me out of class. My revenge will be showing admins the picture of her desktop ;)

Some kid in my class just legit asked the teacher what a router and a modem is.
The thing is: the teacher didnt even know.

Rant && story time

When I was in first grade of high school (age of 15) we had a class of informatics. Nothing unusuall, you say, but this teacher was ummm ... Let's just say special. Most of his classes looked like this:

TEACHER: Ok, class, today we are going to learn/work with <insert a name of a software here>. # And then he sat behind his desk, falling silent for the rest of the lesson. We had to look up the software ourselves, and learn to use it. Or not.

Next lesson, he just said:

TEACHER: Continue your work from the last time.

And on the third lesson of each cycle, there was grading in place. He walked through the class and if he saw you working with the software, you got a 5 (that is A for our western friends), but if you were doing something completely different, you got a 1 (that is F). That just ment that you had to open the program and wave the mouse around while he was looking at your screen, and you got a guaranteed 5.

And then the cycle repeated.

However, this is not the story about the teacher in general, it's a story about one specific event involving him.

Around the beginning of the year (calendar one, not school one; that is middle of the school year) a programming competition took place.

The first stage (school competition), was easy; I got 45 points out of 50 (I was second-best on the whole school, of all years (students from 15 to 20 years of age).

A few weeks later, second stage (national competition) took place. However, when I got to the registration dosk, things got weird.

I patiently waited in line, but when I got to the front, the assistant asked me for year and school.

ME: I come from SCHOOL_NAME and go to first year.
ASSISTANT1: All students who go to SCHOOL_NAME need to go to that separate line.

It seemed strange, but I walked over anyhow. Maybe there was enough students from our school so that new line opened for us.

ME: I go to first year. # I assumed I don't have to tell the name as the line was only for our school.
ASSISTANT2: Ok, but you need to go to that row. *points to the row wherexI just came from* # WTF is going on now?
ME: Ummm, I just came from there, and they told me to come here.
ASSISTANH2: Oh, you go to SCHOOL_NAME?
ME: Yeah
ASSISTANT2: Ok then. What is your name? # Thank Knuth, one mistery less
ME: My name is SELF.NAME
After a short search through the envelopes:
ASSISTANT2: Here you go # Both the fact that my name was completely misspeled and the procedure it took us to finally get to the correct envelope are a story for a different time.

Skip forward some 10 minutes, to the lecture hall where they just told us all the instructions and started to divide us into classrooms

ASSISTANT3:
for CLASSROOM, STUDENT_LIST in STUDENT_DIVISION:
for STUDENT in STUDENT_LIST:
STUDENT.invite(CLASSROOM)

At the end, only a few people, including me, remained.

ASSISTANT3: Is there anyone not from SCHOOL_NAME? # Umm, yeah, WTF is going on now?
Noone replied.
ASSISTANT3: OK, you all, come with me now, we will find you a classroom.

From there on, competition went fine, I came in second, got a new phone as a prize, no complaints.

However, later on, I realized what was the reason for all that weird behaviour.

Signup date for the second part was on LAST_SIGNUP_DATE, which was at least two weeks before the competition, and signups had to be done untill 1600 that day.

Our teacher signed us up at 2200. ON THE FUCKING DAY BEFORE THE COMPETITION. OF COURSE THEY HAD NOTHING PLANNED FOR US, NO ENVELOPES, NO COMPUTERS, NOTHING, IF WE WERE SIGNED UP LESS THAN FUCKING 12 HOURS BEFORE THE COMPETITION INSTEAD OF 2 WEEKS EARLIER. THE ONLY REASON WE GOT TO COMPETE WAS BECAUSE SOME PEOPLE DIDN'T SHOW UP AND WE USED THE PC'S MENT FOR THEM. IF EVERYONE SHOWED UP WE FUCKING COULDN'T COMPETE.

And from that moment on, I always signed myself up for all of the competitions; better safe than sorry.

So... I still go to school.
My English teacher (I'm from Germany) wanted to watch a video with us. There was one Problem. The sound didnt work. My teacher asked for computer Freaks in class. All pointed to me. I went to the desk where the computer was standing.

They plugged the audio output cable for the speakers into the audio input of the computer (that pink microphone input)... 😥 it made some nice sounds haha

Funny thing: other teachers didnt solve the problem before me

I thank whoever made the jsRant, a client for devrant to view in js looking style in browser. Teacher walked passed by and asked what i was doing. I said i was exploring the source of the newest javascript framework. He said what is the name. I said semicolonJS. He asked who made it. I said some person who has fox in his name did it.
Thanks everyone! I had some laughs after he walked passed by without noticing anything.

My wife is a teacher doing a technology course that includes basic coding for middle schoolers (11-13 year olds). While she admittedly would make a terrible developer, she just spent her own money on 30+ finger puppets so the kids could practice rubber duck debugging. Maybe something did rub off on her!

I was talking in class. Teacher saw me. She asked me to explain the topic she was going to explain. It was Network Security. I started explaining how we can prevent tracking of our online activities by using VPN and all.

Teacher (to class): Do you all know about VPN?
Whole Class: No.
Teacher (to me): They don't know about VPN. Now, how will you explain?
Me: I won't.

*Cyanide out*

When the teacher wears a low resolution shirt

Sooo, in my 5 years of high school, I had 5 different IT teachers...
Now, in Italy Highschool goes from 14 to 19 years old, I started programming some days after becoming 13, and "programming" classes begin on the third year, so I had quite a headstart on my classmates...

Now, for the third year, I had an awesome teacher, he noticed I was ahead and... Bored, so he gave me some extra stuff to study, he's the only teacher I've learnt anything from, it was awesome, very stingy with grades, but getting a perfect score with him was so satisfying.

Fourth year, the new guy was old, very old, at least 70, his lessons were just him talking about how programming was when he was young.

But then... During the second half of the fourth year I changed class due to bullying under a teacher's advice, and HE happened...

My new IT teacher, one of the most ignorant, awful people I ever met...
He's literally the reason I only went back to that school once, because another teacher needed help with a course...
One day I made the HUGE mistake to say that his "while(i <10000000000000);" wasn't very efficient for making a delay, because it didn't free the CPU, and since then:
- I never got more than 7 out of 10 at his tests
- He insulted me in front of the whole class
- He sabotaged the oral part of my final exam, shouting that he hated D'Annunzio when he saw he was in the literature part of my thesis (needed him to connect to WW2, and the Memex, that then allowed me to start talking about PCs and programming, my thesis was about the influence of lisp on modern programming languages), loudly chatting with other teachers when I was trying to keep calm (a teacher who knows me quite well, and was there to see my "performance" thought I was going to snap at some point), distracting the english teacher when I was exposing the english part of my thesis and pressuring the commission to give me 99 instead of 100 out of 100

So yeah, he almost made me hate the only thing I'm good at, undervaluing my work and my skills, undervaluing and humiliating me as a person, and I think that if I meet him again I might spit on his face...

So yeah, my biggest "programmer enemy" was a person that then did everything in his power to make my last year and a half of highschool hell

Now I can gladly say that with the help of my tutoring, some of my university colleagues are starting to appreciate programming, and my engineer friends ask for my help when they need advices about their code, and it's giving me motivation to keep doing it and becoming a better programmer to keep up with their expectations

Teacher: hey, your good with computer programming, right?
(Thinking I finally have a chance to prove myself programming wise.)
Me: yeah, Sure
(Trying not to blow my own trumpet)
Teacher: great, can you fix this word document for me?
FML

After working as a developer for 4-5 years I finally took up school again.

The teacher at our first programming course insisted that we named all our variables in our locale language (swedish) and always started arrays at index 1.

My programming teacher at university is programming like this. I'd better not learn anything from him

Once my teacher was taking my viva and she asked me to explain the below line.

Scanner sc = new Scanner(System.in)

I told her that this creates a newScanner instance which points to the input stream passed as argument
She shouted at me and said that I am wrong.
She explained to me that this line creates a new object not an instance

DB/Systems teacher starts all his lists at 0

The last year my school installed MagicBoards (whiteboard with beamer that responses to touch) in every class room and called itself "ready for the future of media". What they also got is A FUCKING LOW SPEC SERVER RUNNING DEBIAN 6 W/O ANY UPDATES SINCE 2010 WHICH IS DYING CONSTANTLY.

As I'm a nice person I asked the 65 y/o technician (who is also my physics teacher) whether I could help updating this piece of shit.

Teacher: "Naahh, we don't have root access to the server and also we'll get a new company maintaining our servers in two years. And even if we would have the root access, we can't give that to a student."

My head: "Two. Years. TWO YEARS?! ARE YOU FUCKING KIDDING ME YOU RETARDED PIECE OF SHIT?! YOU'RE TELLING ME YOU DON'T HAVE TO INSTALL UPDATES EVEN THOUGH YOU CREATE AN SSH USER FOR EVERY FUCKING STUDENT SO THEY CAN LOGIN USING THEIR BIRTH DATE?! DID YOU EVER HEAR ABOUT SECURITY VULNERABILITIES IN YOUR LITTLE MISERABLE LIFE OR SOUNDS 'CVE-2016-5195' LIKE RANDOM LETTERS AND NUMBERS TO YOU?! BECAUSE - FUNFACT - THERE ARE TEN STUDENTS WHO ARE IN THE SUDO GROUP IF YOU EVEN KNOW WHAT THAT IS!"

Me (because I want to keep my good grades): "Yes, that sounds alright."

Not actually happened to me, but to friends...

For school, they had to make a console program which sent requests to some servers and displayed the server answer (more complicated than that, but that's not the point). They had the choice to use C# or Java. They chose C#.
Today was the day where they had to show it to the teacher, who is an Apple fan, Mr. I-love-Java, and knows more than anybody because he's fabulous.
During the whole presentation, Mr. Fabulous did not stop to rant about Windows being utter shit and C# being bad.
My friends added some colours to their program just to make it prettier, though it wasn't asked, and when the teacher saw that, he patronisingly said "Don't think you can impress me with your colors. I did that before your birth, and in C, to say the least. So seeing you doing it in C# leaves me completely indifferent."

Bitch, changing console colors in C takes 1 line of code, 19 characters, and you're not more than 7 years older than us. Stop masturbating your ego and thinking that people make beautiful things to impress you rather than from love of a job well done.

A rant about my OS teacher. The PCs in the lab does not work well and sometimes are unable to start x server on pc startup.

Teacher: To start writing c programs on redhat, open terminal and type gedit and press enter. Then start writing them on the application that opens up.

Students: ok!

*2-3 weeks later*
A female student turned on a computer and x server failed to load. So teacher suggested her to use nano.

Teacher: Type nano and start writing the c program.

The girl started doing so but she was unable to save the file and used various key combinations and kept losing her work. So I started helping her. Teacher scolded me for helping her out and said that she can do it by herself. But then teacher saw her unable to do so.

Teacher (to her): Do like this, *presses dozens of key combinations and kept discarding the contents of the file*.
Teacher: Damn use gedit... Why are you using nano.
Me: The x-server is not running and keeps crashing...
Teacher: ....?
Teacher: The display server is not working.
Teacher: huh?
Me: PC is not working correctly. Let me tell you how it's done. *pressed ctrl+x and saved the file and compiled the program with gcc*.
Teacher: Well whatever... So, students use another pc if gedit is not working.

It's time for another teacher story. So grab a cup of tea and listen.

We were casually talking about Arduino programming because he told me he teaches this in another class.
Teacher: it's so sad that i can't use my java code on the Arduino. I mean the Arduino uses java so there shouldn't be a problem.
Me: *internal* HOLD THE FUCK ON
Me: you know that the Arduino uses c and not java, do you?
Teacher: but the Arduino can do java commands! How do you explain this!?
Me: because java uses the c-syntax and it's more of a coincidence that they're named the same way?
Teacher: huh. Ok. But C# doesn't use it, am i right?

How can someone this dumb be a programming teacher 🤦

Our teacher is the best... His code (nula means zero):

My classmate sent an email to our teacher with a markdown file.

The teacher response "how do I open a .md file"

*Big big facepalm"

I once asked my database teacher whether he is certified on any database system or not and he said if I was then why would I be a teacher !!!

Teacher: Who do you think you are, young man?
Me: I am DA GREATEST!
Teacher: -_- ... Says who?
Me: Google BITCH!

Once, at college I asked my computer science teacher that why don't you use Linux 🐧?.
And guess what he said his reply was "I don't use pirated softwares so I'm saving money to buy Linux OS " and after listening this I was really about to die of laughing 😂😂.
Like literally how can someone be such a dumb and especially a computer science teacher.
After this he asked me to get out of the class and I thanked God as it's better to stay out of such a class with such a dumb teacher. 😂😂

My last special snowflakes teacher story. This happend last Friday.

Background: we had to do a "little" project in less than 2 weeks (i ranted about that) and got our degree on Friday. I did a perfectly fine meal suggester, with in my opinion one of the best codes i've ever written.

After getting my degree (which is totally fine and qualifies me as IT technician/ "staatlich geprüfte Informationstechnische Assistentin") i asked him what my grade for the project was.
Me: what was my grade for the project again?
Him: i left it at 90%
Me: why exactly? You seemed to be really excited and liked it obviously. And there was no critique from you after my presentation.
Him: yadda yadda. I can't give you more. Yadda yadda be happy i didn't lower your grade.
Me: why would you lower my grade? This doesn't make sense at all. I matched all your criteria. You wanted a program everyone loved, everyone wanted to buy. There you go. I made exactly that.
Him: i can't give you a 1 (equals an A)
Me: why not?
Him: you wrote to much. I didn't want so much (he never specified a maximum). And you used to advanced code. And there were so many lists and ref - methods. The class couldn't benefit from it.
Me: Excuse me!? The only "advanced code" i used was a sqlite library. And i explained what i did with that. What do you mean by "so many lists" and ref-menthodes. In which methodes am i using ref?
Him: I don't know, i just skimmed through the code.
Me, internal: WHAT THE FUCKING HELL!?
Me: so you are telling me, you didn't even read my code fully and think it is too advanced for the class? And because of that you give a 2 (equals a B)?
Him: yes
I just gave him a deathstare and left after that. What the hell. Yes, i used encapsulation - which is something we hadn't done much in class. But the code is still not more advanced because i use more files -.-

One of the math teachers at school wrote this on the whiteboard.
Merry X-mas everyone!

I can't be a teacher. Ever. For the sake of my student on this app, I will try to not generalize the entire class, but HOLY MOTHER OF BASTARD DEMON FUCKS. How the blazes is it so damn difficult to pay attention to the lecturer? Especially when he's nice enough to relate the information to the REAL FUCKING WORLD so they know why it's important?

I feel like they can hear my annoyance when I reply to "how long does the summary have to be?"

And how is 5 sentences the same as 5 paragraphs that are all supposed to have introductory sentence, supporting arguments, and a concluding sentence. That's at least 15 sentences if only one supporting statement is provided.

If this were any other teacher I was helping, I'd quit. But the fucker is intimidating and I want to learn as much as I can from him.

-could you please stop texting?
-it's called devRanting

Long Story time!

Tl;dr just because he's a teacher doesnt mean he's right

So a little bit of background on me, before I started walking the path of dev I worked freelance in another branche for 3 years, when I decided it was time to go back2skool

Halfway through the year we got a new teach, only 2 years older than me and man (I'm 23) and man was be full of himself. Let's call him Mr Bob. Mr Bob started his class with the classic "I'm not your run-of-the-mill teacher" (oh yeah we've never heard the before Mr original) "and for this class we're gonna simulate a real working environment where I'm the client and you're a freelancer". Alright. Sounds decent let's do this.

Mr Bob seemed to have actually done his part pretty well and gave us stylesheets, technical details, deadline, everything seemed pretty alright. It wasn't anything special some PHP database connections, some jQuery and a bit of CSS, it didn't have to be mobile ready either, just full screen desktop.

Fast forward a couple of classes. I'm done with the assignment and go to turn it in, where it turns out Mr Bob is quite a bit of a toothless knob gobbler..

I turned in the assignment webpage and he's reviewing it for feedback, some remarks of things I could improve later he says
"oke that looks alright, now I want the top navigation bar to scroll with the page, and I want it to be reactive and mobile ready"
Me: "Sorry sir but the scope only included a static bar on the top, and it said it just had to be desktop ready, without a need for mobile support"
Him: "well I'm the client so I expect you to do this now"
Me: "well sir that is outside of the agreed upon scope, you'll have to pay extra for that to widen the scope of the project, for which I need to plan in extra hours"
Him: "if you keep having such a bad attitude I'll fail you this class"
Me:"but sir it was your idea to pretend we're a real client and freelancer, those work with scopes and paid hours, you can't just demand free extras"
Him:"What do you know about work, I've had a company for 2 years and I spent hours in the night adding features for clients"
Me:"Well maybe you should've agreed on a set scope beforehand, and not accepted extra work for free"
Him:"with such a shitty attitude you'll never make it in the business world"
Me:"Well I've been a successful freelancer for 3 years before I wanted an extra education, and I never worked for free. So I think I'll be alright. Besides if you were so successful what's the name of the company and why are you a teacher now?"
Him:"I don't accept such disrespectful speech from students, you're expelled from class"

Seem to have hit quite the sensitive nerved when I asked about his company.
To his credit he did play his role as the douche bag client that wants everything free well.

There's more to the story that happened the following class I'll post later of you like.

Got to hop off the train now and find myself some new transport because some idiot called in a bomb on Rotterdam Central station..

So I created this really cool messaging program for my CS class in high school. Though when I say for - I mean for the students which were bored when the teacher told us how to "resize images in Word".
I used python and tkinter to create it all, and didn't even need to touch sockets. (Mostly because I didn't know how to use them back then, but also because I kept the messages in a file on the school nas.)
Anyway, the program worked and we used it every week, with me listening to suggestions and improving it each week. I even managed to create a sort of notification system.
But sadly, my teacher found out about it and shut it down.

Have you ever had a similar experience?

When teacher tells us:" You need detoxication​."

Never judge, just learn. Even a bad teacher has something good to teach.

Starting next week I’m going to be a programming teacher.

Suck my nectar of wisdom!

To sum up yesterday:
A pigeon flew into the classroom in school so I think we did pigeon debugging.

The questions asked were: "Why would you fly into a building" and mostly "how the fuck did you know which of the ten windows are open?!"

My teacher.

My 4th semester of college, I had a class about Software Engineering, the teacher started involving me in external projects, he actually taught me almost everything I know, now we work for the same company and he is my mentor and one of my dearest friends

Well my IT teacher said that Java and JavaScript is the same. Fuckkk whyyyyyy ?

Teacher be like: “think outside of the box”
Me:

I had a professor in college who was "the expert in java programming language". He had a unique way of teaching.

P: So you save your java file and run this command.
*Some error occurs*
Me: But this is showing some error
P: Exactly. I wanted to show this exact same error so that you learn that this is not how its done. I will let you figure it out how its done and it will be your assignment for the day. Class dismissed.

*Systems class*

Teacher: Any doubts about signal PHASES?
Me: *asks question*
Teacher: *answers question*
Teacher: Everything clear now?
Me: Yes thank you, you PHASED OUT all of my doubts. :)

And then an angry vs trolly staring contest began!

I have this teacher that makes us do really simple things all the time like "copy and past this into another program" or "change this setting"

The problem is (aside from it being really boring) he doesn't understand how to do most of the things he tells us to do.

If we have a question, he goes and Google's it..

I was in class and this one guy was having difficulty with Word's auto correct. The teacher goes over to help him and this is what I overhear.

"Damn artificial intelligence... We need to make sure that we're always the ones on top and that we never give them to much control!"

*teacher then proceeds to discuss the dangers of AI with the entire class*

The funniest part is, this was in my Japanese class 😂

Hey guys and ladys. I've got another little rant about my teacher.
As some of you may know, i finished my final exams last week, so basically every relevant grade is done. Every teacher except of my special snowflake programming teacher spends the lessons casually talking with us (some even say we dont need to show up anymore).
Little backstory: Grades need to be done on 18th, June and i get my certificate on 22nd.

Back to my rant. Special Snowflake is different. He wants ANOTHER project. This is totally his idea and is nowhere mentioned in our curriculum. It has to be done until next friday, it has to be C# and we need a detailed documentation. This wouldn't be a problem normally - if I wouldn't be moving at the moment. Special Snowflake knows this but doesn't care.
Except from the criteria above he wants it to be:
- fancy
- loved by everyone. Literally we need to make something EVERYBODY wants in their daily life
- good looking
- everyone should want to pay money for this

How am I supposed to come up with an idea and program the shit out of it in less than 2 weeks, which i need to paint my new office and pack some more stuff.

My Database Teacher writes the SQL commands in lowercase. It really grinds my gears.

You wanted to hear more about my "glorious" teacher. I deliver. So get a cup of tea, take a seat and prepare for insanity.
As I already told in a comment my programming teacher is one special snowflake who lives in his personal bubble. We have final exams in less than a month and he spents at least half a lesson talking about vanishing bees and missing plants from his garden. Other topics he likes to talk about (and tries to turn every freaking conversation into at least one of these):
1. Other students and their stupidity
2. Diesel scandal
3. His sick wife
4. "Why does noone read newspapers anymore?"
5. Why he can't teach Java but really really really wants to and everyone hates him and forces him to do C#.

Even if I try to interrupt him he'll go on until he thinks we gained some "common knowledge" - this is how he justifies these topics.

Everytime he introduced us to a new command he compared it to Java and sometimes he even falsely corrects code because he confuses them.
We are only 6 people including me (another story for another time) and he is not able to help everyone during a 90min lesson. He normally sticks with one person for at least one hour and just talks to them or even do their tasks. This is really annoying if you have a simple question. He won't answer you until he's finished whatever he's doing.

Most of the time he doesn't seem to understand what he's talking about/trying to teach us. He's muttering statements from our textbook to himself switching halfway through to another sentence while drawing not decipherable shit on the blackboard.

Another gem are his "guidelines" for classtests. We are allowed to use any command we know. Except the ones we learned not in class. And the ones he doesn't like. And the ones he doesn't want to exist. And of course not the ones which make you're life easier. So basically we are bound to use his favourite commands or we won't get a good grade. Example: use an array. List is not allowed. Never.
He has some weird fetish with arrays.

I once presented him perfectly fine code I wrote in my freetime and asked what some warnings meant. (Was because of different Visual studio versions as I learned later.) He scolded me for using things he didn't taught us yet and ranted about how I'm pressuring him into rushing these things now - I never wanted to show this to my classmates nor was this anything else than a project for fun and learning something new. (FYI the "new stuff" where classes and objects because i was tired of kilometers of spaghetti code). His rant went on a good 20minutes and - obviously - he didn't answer my question. I asked my fiance that evening and he explained it to me.
This should it be for this time. I'm sure I have more stories to tell for another time!
Thank you for reading. ^^

Friend of mine at college is struggling with his cpp class.

Have been helping this guy since forever with it, he is not a coder by any means nor does he display any sort of affinity or "talent" for it. But he does make up with intense dedication. Still he knows that he will not be pursuing a career in software engineering, this is just a class.

The thing is, he showed me a video of his class. The instructor is middle eastern with a thick accent. Accent so thick I need subtitles for this motherfucker.

He has learned more from me that he has at uni. And at my day job the interns say the same thing. I love teaching and far prefer it over working on projects.

This week we have a meeting with the head of the i.t dptmtn at school as nd I will try to pitch myself in as a faculty member by popular demand.

I would love to teach, i have experience in the field and learn a lot from going over shit as an instructor. I can make one go from wtf is JS used for to handling promises and writing Angular in days.

I really want to teach man.

I've seen several rants about dumb/useless teachers, college and the CS degree studies; today is a good day to vent out some "old" memories.

Around two semesters ago I enrolled in a Database seminar with this guy, a tall geek from the 80's with a squeaky voice, so squeaky mice could had an aneurysm if they listened to him.

Either way this guy was a mess, he said he was an awesome coder, that we were still "peasants" when it came to coding, that relational databases had nothing on him since he was an awesome freelancer and did databases every day, that we had to redo the programming course with him and with his shitty, pulled out of the ass own C++ style guide with over 64 different redacted rules.

He gave us sample code of "how it should be done" in Java...it ain't my favorite language but fuck me a fucking donkey could have written better code with his ass!! He even rewrote Java's standard input function and made it highly inefficient. He still wrote in a structural paradigm in OOP languages! And he dared to make this code reviews were he would proyect someone's code and mock it in front of the class as he took off points, sometimes going to the negative realm (3,2,1,0,-1...)

But you know what's shittier? That he actually didn't even attend, 90% of the time, it was literally this:
> Good morning class
> Checks attendance. . .
> I'll be back, I'm going to check in...
> 1 hour 45 minutes later (class was 2 hrs long) - comes back
> do you have any doubts?
> O.o no...? I'm ok.
> We're done

Not only that, he scheduled from 4 to 17 homeworks throughout the week, I did the math, that was around 354 files from everyone; of course he didn't check them, other students from higher semesters did and they gained each point taken from students making students from lower semesters get the short end of the stick.

How did I pass? He didn't understood my code or database schema and he knew he couldn't fail me as he had no ground to stand on.

Thanks for listening, if you got to the end of this long ass post and had a similar experience I'd love to read it.

That moment when you learn Java in school and your teacher tells you that Strings are unimportant.
*facepalms*

When you write last exam and your teacher is funny.

So my programming teacher never indents her code. Looks like I'm switching school lol

My computing teacher says that html is his favourite programming language to teach.

He calls JavaScript Java

Needless to say he's not very good at teaching us html and js.

A few months ago my now boss, then he was my mentor and school teacher asked for my help with a feature, said he had tried for some time and couldnt get around it, I solved it with regex in less than a day, and the company is like the golden standard of my region. The issue itaelf wasnt hard but being able to help my mentor was pretty cool

Teacher: name js frameworks !

Random student: C# !

U WUT M8?

I had this one teacher that sucked some serioud dick. She refused to teach us what she was supposed to... Java.

Her teaching habits include: talking about her life problems for the whole class until the last 5 minutes to actually teach us knowledge that usually ended up being useless, refusing to answer questions and demanding that we use Google instead, and worst of all... the way she checked our programs to see if they would work. The absolute FIRST thing that she would do when she sat down at our computer, was open up our code, to see if it looked EXACTLY like her fucking code. She wouldn't even check if it worked first...

Honestly, teacher's like this completely piss me off and the students of this class learned more from the students with pre-knowledge than they did from studying the notes that the teacher gave in the last five minutes of class.

Teacher: what is 1 + 1?

kid : I don't know

Teacher: Ok! you have one man and one women, how many are there?

Kid: Three.

Teacher: how?

Kid: There was my mom and dad, when they add up we become three.

Teacher: %(;:)--,^$

While showing final project to the teacher my is like...

#include<iostream>
#include<getch()>
....
Yes, he was our OS teacher and he was trying to write a C++ program.

While attending a class for mobile app development a couple of months back, the day the teacher (T) unveiled the class project:
T: You must build an Android app. You can do whatever you want.
T: Don't overcomplicate though. For example, online servers won't be valued!
T: But don't make it too easy. For example, don't make a tic-tac-toe. That won't be valued!
T: And remember, you must use device sensors, like the camera, GPS, accelerometer ...
T: But don't just throw the sensor functionality if it doesn't make sense in the app you're building. That won't be valued either!
T: You have one week to think and send me a proposal.
Me: What the fuck do you want me to do then?

That feeling when teacher ask you how to use "ssh"😂😂😂

Wrote for-loop without learning it in school-lesson.

Teacher says I have a gift...

Never had a teacher yet... Self taught all the way

Ok, so teacher (which should be something like a professional dev or whatever) assigned us a homework for a Christmas (I dont care, I can complete his assignments in like 10 minutes max). We have to do some simple shit in C++, just some loops and input + output. Nothing hard. He challenged me to write it as short as possible, so I did. My classmates have codes around 60 to 70 lines long (after propper formating). I made it 20 lines long using some pointer magic and stuff like that. I tried my code, it ran fucking perfectly, so I sent that to him. He replied that the code does not work. I tried to recompile it and it ran perfectly. Again, it does not work. Afeter 13 fucking emails he fucking finally sent me the error message. Some fucntion was not found (missing some library but literally everywhere else it works without it...). Thats strange, because it run perfectly on my Fedora with CLion, so I switch to Windows and try to run same code in Visual Studio (which we are using in school btw). Works perfectly. So I start arguing with the teacher more and more. I tried around 10 online compilers. Works fuckng everywhere. Teacher is pissed, me too. So I rewrote my whole code, added comments and shit, reinvented wheel literally everywhere. Now I have C99 standardised code over 370 lines long that run even on a fucking arduino after changing input output methods so it can work with it. It (suprisingly runs) on his PC too.

After a bit more arguing, he said that he is using CodeBlocks from fucking 2015. Wow. Just fucking wow. Even our school has some old Visual Studio (2007 I guess) and it worked there.

Software development lessons are so boring and the teacher is so stupid. He can't swap two variables without a temporary var. He said that he never saw this kind of swaping before. I pay attention sometimes, but I'm just drawing in my exercise book.

That feeling when the networking teacher puts all her powerpoints in comic sans

And so I have ranted earlier about how a panelist during my thesis defense told me that my algorithm is not an algorithm because it needs mathematical equations to be called an algorithm. I also told you guys that I facepalmed during the course of the interrogation.

Now I failed my thesis because I facepalmed. I quit school because of that but now I'm a better career person than him. I already started my freelance team and earning more than double his salary and he's still suck at being a low quality professor.

Commented all of my code. More than 1000 lines, teacher didn't read it....

Fucking teachers, man.
I had to present a project today.
Teacher randomly asks me
"Where did you copy this from?"
At this point I'm pretty fucking pissed, but am thinking that he might just be kidding around or fucking with me. Nope. Serious question. Well, fuck, now I have to start defending my own fucking work, because this fucking asshole assumes that I copied my project from somewhere.
He fucking questions me like I'm a murder suspect for half an hour. After that he gave me a passing grade.
I have no problem with the grade. My project wasn't entirely finished, I knew that I would only get a shitty grade on it.
I have a problem with this line of questioning. That fucker thinks that accusing people of plagiarism okay. I don't think there are appropriate words to describe such a rotten person.
The funny thing is, that colleagues who did in fact copy all their fucking work, were not questioned in such a way.
So basically if you think for yourself, work your ass off, you are a fucking cheating asshole.
Dear teacher,
I can say, from the bottom of my heart, go fuck yourself.

Happened last semester, due to lack of admin rights to us students on our computer in OS Lab, a friend wasn't able to start a program. So the OS teacher came and instructed the lab helper to install more RAM on the computer, so that programs cam run without admin access.
We lost all hope of ever understanding OS in class.

I had a problem with my code, it doesn't compile. Then my teacher came and clicked on the Debug-Button. In this moment Windows crashed in a Bluescreen.

My computer science class in school is learning c# so slowly that last year it took 3 weeks for them to learn what an integer is.
I learned most of the language on a vacation last year and now I don't show up for class.
and actually, my teacher doesn't mind it, she encourages me about learning more and doing projects.
best teacher I've had so far.

recently the class teacher noticed me when I go home instead of going to class and he made me come to every lesson. Really frustrating.

Seriously does this master/slave bullshit actually affect everyone here?

From what I’ve seen it’s just a fucking idea / suggestion not a full blown change set being implemented.

Stop fucking over reacting to bubble wrap nonsense, if you want to call it a master/slave relationship then call it a fucking master/slave relationship and be done with it, if this really offends you or you believe political correctness is needed here, go call it something else, at the end of the day it’s still going to be the same thing, just called something else.

I'm so glad our university lecturer intoduced us this app 😃 lots of really cool ppl here 😃

Teaching my little sister Mathematics (Grade/Class 12. Not at all easy).

And I can really understand the textbook definitions in the chapters. Back then, I never understood a single line of it.

Am I a more sound mathematician now or reading poor documentations has improved my skill to read complex and minimal contents!

So I read this morning about some web teacher. Here is my story:
In high school I had a teacher who was "THE GOTO WEB GUY", at least that was what other theachers thought. Here is what reallity looked liked in a lesson of his:
He comes up with some ancient example he just found on some tutorials page and he just remembered bits of how to do it. So when he got stuck he fired up a google search. When a student had a question he fired up a google search. Because he didn't know shit. Of course you cannot know everything but he was so cocky about his skills that it really annoyed me. Best part? He sold web sites (joomla) where his greates achievment was to change the color of the template. Everything he teached in that semester had I already learned through selfteaching and tutorials in an evening.

Do you have a dev (or informatic in general) nickname?

Oh, I love stories XD

When I was at university, my first boyfriend (now ex-boyfriend) was the only one who knows Python (teachers used to teach Java and C#). He was pretty old, like 4 years older than all of us, and when the teacher introduced himself to the group the first day of the semester, "Python" asked

- "Teacher, do you use Python platform?"

I don't know why, but the rest of my classroom mates laughed. And from that day, my friends called him "Python".

The funny thing is that two weeks later he became my boyfriend ^_^ a friend of mine said "he wants to show you his python :o"

A semester after our broke-up, I was invited to teach Python at the university. I accepted. Now some teachers remember me as "Python girl".

University Final Viva for OOP with C++
(Yeah, that first line is a rant in itself for the likes of me and Mr. Torvalds)
Assistant Professor:
Tell me a few "functions" in C++ STL algorithm header
Me:
*starts off with the first one that came to my mind*
sort()
AP: Huh? a I'm asking the Algorithms in C++ STL
Me: Yes, this is one of them Ma'am.
She looked at me as if I told her that I'm dating her daughter. It became clear she doesn't know about it and she'll gladly deduct my marks for getting it wrong. So I explained how Sort() is a hybrid of quicksort, heap sort and insertion sort. (Read about it an hour ago while doing a competitive programming question)
AP: Tell me the ones we did in class.
I haven't attended those classes, so I just told her the ones I knew.

After a couple more infuriating questions, which themselves sounded right from a book published in the 90's, she gave me 10/15.

This is what's wrong with India's Education system, even the teachers know only the stuff mentioned in the course hand-outs. Forget brownie points, you get screwed over by the teachers for actually knowing stuff and using it.

Muggles...

My piano teacher met a fellow coder in Berlin. He tried to explain my teacher what his job is. But my teacher didn't get it xD

I had a teacher that was going to teach us git and scrum. I was exited and started reading about it in my free time. The next lesson I needed to help him setup the git repo's because he doesn't understand how git works. And everytime we asked something about scrum, he said we should google it. But in the end he barely gave me enough point to pass because he said I wasn't motivated enough and was doing my own projects. But the reason I was doing my own projects (code school) was because I finished all of the assigments within a week. And I knew I wasn't going to learn anything from him.

Our current programming teacher actually being able to teach us good practices and give us constructive criticism on our code.

So, the uni hires a new CS lecturer. He is teaching 230, the second CS class in the CS major. Two weeks into the semester, he walks in and proceeds to do his usual fumbling around on the computer (with the projector on).

Then, he goes to his Google Drive, which is empty mostly, and tells us that he accidentally wrote a program that erased his entire hard drive and his internet storage drives (Google, box, etc.)...

I mean, way to build credibility, guy... Then he tells us that he has a backup of everything 500 miles away, where he moved from. He also says that he only knows C (we only had formally learned Java so far), but hasn't actually coded (correction: typed!) in 20+ years, because he had someone do that for him and he has been learning Java over the past two weeks.

The rest of the semester followed as expected: he never had any lecture material and would ramble for an hour. Every class, he would pull up a new .java file and type code that rarely ran and he had no debugging skills. We would spend 15 minutes trying to help him with syntax issues—namely (), ;— to get his program running and then there would be a logic issue, in data structures.

He knew nothing of our sequence and what we knew up until this point and would lecture about how we will be terrible programmers because we did not do something the way he wanted—though he failed to give us expectations or spend the five minutes to teach us basic things (run-time complexity, binary, pseudocode etc). His assignments were not related to the material and if they were, they were a couple of weeks off. Also, he never knew which class we were and would ask if we were 230 or 330 at the end of a lecture...

I learned relatively nothing from him (though I ended up with a B+) but thankful to be taking advanced data structures from someone who knows their stuff. He was awful. It was strange. Also, why did the uni not tell him what he needed to be teaching?

End rant.

I used to screw around with the school computers, nothing much, a few batch files here, a few html scripts there. But once, they took away my use of the computer for, "Tampering with very important parts of the computer." Yeah.
Don't do html in school, kids.

Good guy teacher doesn't care if you write Javascript global functions wrong on a test because "your editor will fix that for you"

Let's teach the class about security. OK *spends 1.5 hr teaching about encryption and practices* OK now students make a login page and just store the passwords in a JavaScript array....... *Facepalm*

So, during my Java lessons we had a teacher who had a very special relationship with the language.
During the introduction he used to tell us that interfaces in Java are really poorly designed and that they would not reflect how an interface normally should be implemented. The possibility for a developer to add default methods to an interface or that a class could inherit from multiple interfaces was unacceptable to him.

Due to those reasons, he would hate on Java 8 and tell us to not use it and instead stay with Java 7 - dafuq!

They took my phone away cause I was reading rants in class... Well worth it after all!

when your teacher said you can ONLY can use JS

Humph. Just remembered something pretty cool. Last year I had a great math teacher and tech teacher. My class on the other hand: not great except my friends. We were being taught c++ in tech class and man were these kids the laziest i've ever seen. Just creeping up behind me and copying the code. Tech teacher walks up and opens up stack overflow on the kid's pc and walks away. Later during math class our teacher overhears kids talking about pokemon go. She then gets really excited and talks about how fun ar is to code and asks if any of the kids need c++ help. Turns out she had quit a dev position to become a teacher and give back to the community. She left halfway through the schoolyear because she was pregnant though. Needless to say most of my class caught the coding bug and it was thanks to both those teachers. The math teacher came back at the beginning of the year but then I moved back to the USA.

newboston was my first teacher

So I'm not sure whether this actually is a believable story or not but I think I'll just share the saddest moment in my life with you.

So.... I've been working with a boy 0.5years younger than me on a project in Java so he could learn something about programming. I was actually dictating him code because he wasn't able to JUST WRITE ONE SINGLE LINE OF CODE WITHOUT ASKING ME HOW TO DO SHIT!!! So I dictated him a for each loop:
Me: "for ( Foo foo colon foos ) {doSomeShit();}"
Him: "for ( Foo foo .. foos ) {doSomeShit();}
For your understanding: in German colon means doppel punkt / double dot. I didn't think someone actually writes two dots... THIS IS SO FUCKING SAD

Please don't blame me for being a bad teacher. I'm inn a class with him and I know we did that in class. I also thought it multiple times to him

Alright. Fuck it, I'm doing it.

The argument I had with a friend that told me "why bother with JavaScript when I can use jQuery" has pushed me too close to the edge.

Time to teach him the ways of vanilla js and blow his mind with the new power he'll have with not relying on a js library.

When your teacher doesn't sure about the difference between JavaScript and Java.

One of my teacher hid a "#define while if" in one of my school project :(

So our new teacher executes console applications (C#, .NET) with the VS debugger attached (F5) instead of just letting it execute normally (CTRL + F5).

He complained about the output not showing up (he still gave me full score at least) That's because executing with F5 simply ends the program after Main() is done executing, while CTRL + F5 leaves the window open until you press a key, saying "Press any key..."

So here's what I'm gonna put at the very bottom of Main() in future:

if (System.Diagnostics.Debugger.IsAttached)
{
Console.CursorVisible = false;
   Console.WriteLine("Press any key...");
   Console.ReadKey(true);
}

Just got to my class and there is Tor installed on my teachers pc. Wonder what they are up to here 🤔

I made a Lisp program for the Programing Basics exam in my school today. I was trying to confuse the teacher, but it results that he worked many time with Lisp and made some AI projects with it. I didn't expect that.
He's a really nice teacher, he's always supporting me and inviting me to contests.

When the teacher ask you to model a CAN bus to make a holistic analysis!

My computing teacher today tried to add a text-align: centre to a <title> tag.... kill me

teacher substitution schedule ios app.

Job Offer: Norwegian needs an Angular Teacher 😊

We won a competition - it was the first time he has taken part on it - and we had 1. place (me :p) and 2. place.

He was happy like a small kid, hung the certificate on the wall, made photos with our principal and the winners and we got in the newspaper xD

I'm sitting in the computer room trying to program, but my teacher is playing a record of a fucking live concert with his monitor's speakers. Earphones are disallowed here, and we are not allowed to do this outselves, and I can't work like that. TEACHER CEASE YOUR SHIT AND LET US WORK

My IT teacher just said you can only input decimal values through keyboard..
Thank God I'm a self learner :P

So, the other day, my teacher told me not to use goto in C#, with only the reason that "it is bad".

Okay teacher, I'm going to continue using it until you give me a valid reason. For example for making one loop instead of two. .-.

!dev

TL;DR: Computer rooms closed? Ok. Music rooms closed? Fuck!

I understand why the computer rooms are locked up in breaks and not accessible for every student anytime. But..

Why on earth are the music rooms closed as well?!

It wasn't always like that. But stupidass teacher Mr Fucker decided that he wants the music rooms (plural) for himself in breaks. That means they are both empty 90% of the time after 13:00 Uhr and in breaks. Closed. While I could play piano in my free time where I have to stay in school anyways. But no.

Fuck you, Mr Fucker.

Not sure if that qualifies as prank...

Had an pretty incompetent CS teacher and used to simply unplug her PC when we had enough of her shit. Usually took her about 45mins to figure out what was wrong with her PC and another 5 of ranting why we'd do that. Eventually she started to check the cable first which reduced the ”downtime” to about 15mins.
However, we soon started to flip the power switch at the back of her machine instead. She never figured that out and called IT several times to fix it.

Thinking about it, it's probably worse than a prank 😅

Partly !rant

Another small story about my "teacher".

Today we got told again that we need to develop a personal programming style. I asked him how we were supposed to do that while being restricted by his demands. He tried to justify this with bullshit about how to not declare variables. As i told him that wasn't my point at all he stuttered and couldn't say anything. I got officially allowed to use everything i want! VICTORY SCREECH

(But restricting students on which commands they are allowed to use is still bullshit imho)

The moment, when a teacher in the younger classes says, that HTML is a programming language..

classmate: *asks something about our topic*

teacher: "uhm hold on" *goes to stackoverflow on screen where everyone can see* "there's your answer"

classmate: "thanks..... i could have done it by myself but ok"

>> let stack overflow be our teacher

New teacher assigned and she realizes that the previous teacher did not teach anything in this webdev class. HA! I was right all along.

Is it just me? Or is it normal to feel special when a cs teacher see you writing x86-64 assembly in class.. it's just that look of "ok.. you clearly are better at my class than me".. anyways. I am finally learning assembly. Any suggestions on something to do so that this doesn't seem like a useless skill?

So during a test I was to write an algo of binary search tree traversal and I got a zero....Why? Cause I wrote a recursive algorithm and also because I wrote "English" instead of pseudocode, which she thought is called algorithm and on showing her the exact same recursive Algo on various websites and books, she just declared all of them wrong

Our html teacher programmed on a blackboard.

The day after I delivered a secure programming course to our junior devs.

Junior dev: I can't figure out what's happening when I generate this sql.

Me: what do you mean generating ... It should be a prepared statement..

Junior dev: no I'm just generating the strings from the form

Me: ... Let's try this again....

In college while submitting the java application project to the teacher.....
Teacher : The project is really great son, but do tell me how does your code work.
Me :

When I was studying computer science at university (second year). There was a girl, I'm not sure if she was crying or angry after this, but I didn't expect that.

Just to put some context, this girl was still asking "what's the meaning of i++?" in second year. And during a re-sit exam, the teacher who was asked the previous question, was the one who monitored the students.

And the girl made a mistake (it was something usual though) . She asked the teacher something that she didn't understand. Which means that she wanted the teacher to help her with the exam, but I'm not even sure that she realised that. And the teacher said : "You still can't do that? I gave you this exact problem during lessons and also at the first exam! Well don't worry... I'll give you the same next year :) "

Not really nice for the girl, but hopefully I didn't hear it directly or I would have laugh a little too much x)

Love when my teacher pronounces URL's as "EARL's". Makes Programming entertaining in another way 😂

Sure, there were always people who influence me. Actually, I like to feel when superior manager or officer could help me to develop myself.
Nevertheless, there was one man who opened for me this "Pandora box". He was my first computer class teacher. I was 10. After next two years I got my first money for localizing ZX Spectrum games.

For our robotics team we have a college professor (if that's what you even call it) who is teaching our programming subteam how to code the robot in c++. Whenever we mention git he goes on and on about how git is too confusing and we shouldn't use it even if we used pull requests.

What the actual fuck

Im learning Advanced Computing in a institute. Prior to that I have done many projects with Unity 3D, MEAN and C#. But guy who is teaching is very rude every time to the class. 'you people are stupid' 'you cant do anything on your own' 'that's why your here'. And Im self tought programer so Im getting really angry at such comments. How to deal with this?? 😥😫

Creating this thread to share my experience during this webdev class with a new teacher

I had difficulty in passing one of my programming subjects during college because of my teacher(3~5years older than me). She's a pretty lady and always wearing lose shirts, I'm on the front row seats, so i always get distracted and can't focus on lectures and exams.

After that semester, i was happy that she's not my teacher anymore. LOL.

When your Comp Sci teacher goes to stack overflow and looks in the comments for the answer instead of actually looking for the answer...