Bugger me that's a big turtle.

This is so true. A month or two goes by and it is like learning certain pieces of code over again.

Crocheted a hand puppet. Just because.

I'm a slow developer because i try to think things through before i start coding and end up not doing anything or taking a long time to do simple things.

I dislike just jumping in and writing code because I end up not understanding why things work

@retoor account wiped and spamming comments, what's this about?

Sprint planning, we spot a risk for one of the stories: An old client wants a new feature that relies on a third-party component that has not been included in our integration tests for the last 2 years.

The risk: It's probably not compatible with the new version of our system, if that's true, we'll need to make changes to our system before starting to work on the new feature, and setup integration testing.

Management: - Are you sure it's not compatible anymore?
Me: - No, we would need to bring both systems up and test if they work, there's no automation for that right now.
Mangement: - If you have not checked it's not a risk.
Me: (o_O) ? Whatever, I've warned you.

2 Days later: Our system does not work with this third-party system anymore, we can't finish the feature this sprint.

Management: (☉_☉)

DOM custom events, and the Node.JS Event class are both so easy to work with and intuitive. Why doesn't JavaScript have native events? It was literally made for UI.

Also: I asked ChatGPT this exact thing before I posted because I had a sneaaaaking suspicion AND I WAS RIGHT. He called it a fuckin quirk.

ChatGPT is a 14 year old that just learned a new word and won't stop using it.

debugging a colleague's bash script written by copilot.

fun
/s

Am I going nuts or have comments and votes been restored?

aaaaaand it's back

Didn't even take a day and people were already posting melodramatic goodbye posts lul

Reading today's feed has been a hilarious roller coaster ride. Was a bit worried there for a second 😅

Plot twist: @dfox disabled comments to let us catch a break from @jestdotty’s ramblings under every single post.

Sudden urge to design my own programming language. Specifically built for concurrency. I really like the async/promise style stuff but I always think it's a pain to put together. Why not make the "putting it together" bit the languages job.

Medium is a machine, albeit a broken machine, that somehow bot farmers manage to get the most shitty click bait titles up... and the content of said shitty articles (if you can even call it 'content' i.e. two sentence recycled slop designed for those with single digit to negative IQ) is even worse...

Dev.to has become a laundry list of "(X fucking shitting things that Y developers didn't know with Z) - I swear browsing yesterday I saw literally the SAME LLM shitted template like ("Here's 9 things that you NEED to learn in 2025) - they even both used the number 9... fucking christ

Reddit... not even an possible way to even get a foot in there, I don't even understand that platform...

And, I can't believe I'm saying this, but Hacker News is quickly reaching the same level too - just filled with clowns who don't even know what LLMs are, or what even fucking copilot agent mode is - and keep in mind these are the guys who are supposed to be making 300K a year because they are the "leaders in tech"? fuck off

I'm quite close to just quitting it all entirely, even you guys (sadly)... I haven't been on in forever but I can imagine the type of bigbrains who have since come and gone in my absence here...

I wanted to stake my claim and make my living here... but currently, if the internet isn't 'bad' enough since say 2015/2016 - it's going to get AT LEAST 100x worse - every platform has their fucking dumb ass social quirks and the moment you don't conform you're an outcast - if you can even make sense of why certain articles get more traffic than others in the first place. fucking backwards ass idiot machine, I swear

I'm gonna go have fun in the real world for the foreseeable future, have fun trying to 'make it' in this cesspool. jfc

obligatory 🤡🤡🤡🤡🤡🤡🤡🤡🤡🤡🤡🤡🤡🤡🤡🤡🤡🤡🤡🤡🤡🤡🤡🤡🤡🤡🤡🤡🤡🤡🤡🤡🤡🤡🤡🤡🤡🤡🤡🤡🤡🤡🤡🤡🤡🤡🤡🤡🤡🤡🤡🤡🤡🤡🤡🤡🤡🤡🤡🤡🤡🤡🤡🤡🤡🤡🤡🤡🤡🤡🤡🤡🤡🤡🤡🤡🤡🤡🤡🤡🤡🤡🤡🤡🤡🤡🤡🤡🤡🤡🤡🤡🤡🤡🤡🤡🤡🤡🤡🤡🤡🤡🤡🤡🤡🤡🤡🤡🤡🤡🤡🤡🤡🤡🤡🤡🤡🤡🤡🤡🤡🤡🤡🤡🤡🤡🤡🤡🤡🤡🤡🤡🤡🤡🤡🤡🤡🤡🤡🤡🤡🤡🤡🤡🤡🤡🤡🤡🤡🤡🤡🤡🤡🤡🤡🤡🤡🤡🤡🤡🤡🤡🤡🤡🤡🤡🤡🤡🤡🤡🤡🤡🤡🤡🤡🤡🤡🤡🤡🤡🤡🤡🤡🤡🤡🤡🤡🤡🤡🤡🤡🤡🤡🤡🤡🤡🤡🤡🤡🤡🤡🤡🤡🤡🤡🤡🤡🤡🤡🤡🤡🤡🤡🤡🤡🤡🤡🤡🤡🤡🤡🤡🤡🤡🤡🤡🤡🤡🤡🤡🤡🤡🤡🤡🤡🤡🤡🤡🤡🤡🤡🤡🤡🤡🤡🤡🤡🤡🤡🤡🤡🤡🤡🤡🤡🤡🤡🤡🤡🤡🤡🤡🤡🤡🤡🤡🤡🤡🤡🤡🤡🤡🤡🤡🤡🤡🤡🤡🤡🤡🤡🤡🤡🤡🤡🤡🤡🤡🤡🤡🤡🤡🤡🤡🤡🤡🤡🤡🤡🤡🤡🤡🤡🤡🤡🤡🤡🤡🤡🤡🤡🤡🤡🤡🤡🤡🤡🤡🤡🤡🤡🤡🤡🤡🤡🤡🤡🤡🤡🤡🤡🤡🤡🤡🤡🤡🤡🤡🤡🤡🤡🤡🤡🤡🤡🤡🤡🤡🤡🤡🤡🤡🤡🤡🤡🤡🤡🤡🤡🤡🤡🤡🤡🤡🤡🤡🤡🤡🤡🤡🤡🤡🤡🤡🤡🤡🤡🤡🤡🤡🤡🤡🤡🤡🤡🤡🤡🤡🤡🤡🤡🤡🤡🤡🤡🤡🤡🤡🤡🤡🤡🤡🤡🤡🤡🤡🤡🤡🤡🤡🤡🤡🤡🤡🤡🤡🤡🤡🤡🤡🤡🤡🤡🤡🤡🤡🤡🤡🤡🤡🤡🤡🤡🤡🤡🤡🤡🤡🤡🤡🤡🤡🤡🤡🤡🤡🤡🤡🤡🤡🤡🤡🤡🤡🤡🤡🤡🤡🤡🤡🤡🤡🤡🤡🤡🤡🤡🤡🤡🤡🤡🤡🤡🤡🤡🤡🤡🤡🤡🤡🤡🤡🤡🤡🤡🤡🤡🤡🤡🤡🤡🤡🤡🤡🤡🤡🤡🤡🤡🤡🤡🤡🤡🤡🤡🤡🤡🤡🤡🤡🤡🤡🤡🤡🤡🤡🤡🤡🤡🤡🤡🤡🤡🤡🤡🤡🤡🤡🤡🤡🤡🤡🤡🤡🤡🤡🤡🤡🤡🤡🤡🤡🤡🤡🤡🤡🤡🤡🤡🤡🤡🤡🤡🤡🤡🤡🤡🤡🤡🤡🤡🤡🤡🤡🤡🤡🤡🤡🤡🤡🤡🤡🤡🤡🤡🤡🤡🤡🤡🤡🤡🤡🤡🤡🤡🤡🤡🤡🤡🤡🤡🤡🤡🤡🤡🤡🤡🤡🤡🤡🤡🤡🤡🤡

any hospice heard more prayers than any temple

Dark Humor

Lets try some seriously dark dark humor. Lets find what lurks in the hearts of men.

My Kid: I was adopted.
Me: We wouldn't have picked you.

Oedipus: <whilst banging his wife> You remind me of my mom.

What do you call Rock Hudson in a wheelchair?
Rollaids

What did Christa McAuliffe say to her husband before the launch?
You feed the dog, I will feed the fish.

Some I found from searching web:

What's worse than a baby in a dumpster?
A baby in 2 dumpsters.

If we had mosquito nets in Africa we could save millions of mosquitos from getting AIDS.

Down syndrome in military is called special forces.

Mom told me to eat my vegetables, now where do I put the wheelchairs.

Whoever thought white men can't jump obviously never watched the 9/11 footage.

сhristmas is xmas. rsync called transfer "xfer". thus, christmas is transmas

Maybe quit giving out your bitcoin to every scammer retard

javascript is a dogshit language

typescript makes a valiant attempt to make it better but it's contrived on top of a rocky foundation so it can't quite get there unfortunately

yes i am trash at programming and appreciate strongly typed languages for any heavy duty work, in most cases those languages designed for it from the ground up, don't feel as frustrating to deal with

I just had a post-shower thought… If you went even just one year into the past and openly told your boss that you used an AI tool to write user stories, documentation, or code, you would've been scolded for skirting your responsibilities or "cheating." Some companies even had strict policies against using AI, and some still do.

Fast forward to today: if you tell your boss you used an AI tool, you're praised for efficiency and streamlining your workflow.

Just an interesting dichotomy between the two mindsets, and such a quick switchover.too. Even the stuffiest "non-tech" companies are openly encouraging the use of AI in your day-to-day nowadays, whether it be for writing code building presentations. As long as the work is good, they pat you on the back.

As somebody who likes automating stuff, I love to see it. But as a future slave to our future robot overlords, there still needs to be a place for us flesh bags.

If Javascript were a cereal.
(Yes, I realize how cursed this is. Been learning to make images with chatgpt.)

Ed is responsible for servers in the IT department at work. He is an electrical that does a lot of electronic/electrical design work. So IT concerns are not as high as his design work. Today we had a server fail due to aging hardware. We have another guy that handles IT stuff for Ed. So I went to the IT guy and said:

So I understand the server has Electronic Dysfunction. Is Ed having trouble keeping his server up?

time traveler: *steps on a bug*
changes to our world:
- C has python syntax based on indentation and has no curly braces
- mario has fall damage
- tetris is called triris and uses blocks of three squares rather than four
- the word "disk" doesn't exist, everything is "disc"
- every device uses a new version of mSATA instead of usb type c
- screens are 3:2 instead of 16:9
- javascript name wasn't adopted, the language was called lifescript instead, as originally intended. because of it, it didn't secure funding when it most needed it, so it never caught on. instead, microsoft bought macromedia, and every site is written with Microsoft Flash. CSS has XML syntax.
- steve jobs didn't rely on alternative medicine, so he succesfully beat cancer. because of him, every phone has the size of iPhone 4s, but bezels are tiny. everything that's bigger is called phablet, and big phones are not a thing. instead, web is "smaller" in size, every ui is more compact.
- wimax caught on and won the 4g war. 5g is called wimax 2.0.
- microsoft had more time to complete vista, and hardware manufacturers had more time to make faster chips. when vista came out, it wasn't buggy and was very fast. it acquired cult status like xp. because of it, windows 8 still had frutiger aero design.

I only recently discovered "Clear" button in the notifs panel. I never used it, but now I want it renamed to "ah, it's all jestdotty" because I only use it when all notifs are by jestdotty. jestdotty commented here, jestdotty ++ed that...

remember that shelter in fallout that is filled with clones of one guy named Gary that could only say "Gary"? imagine waking up in a sealed shelter where every single person is jestdotty, and there are hundreds of them. and they all go on and on and on with their word salads that are indistinguishable from markov chain output. every sentence makes sense, but the whole thing never does.

she's a living proof that a person whose brain was taken over by mold can still be somewhat aware.

on second thought, mold is probably smarter.

they say dementia is noticeable to everyone around you except you. When dotty is old and she has dementia, no one would notice.

I'm convinced that dotty was teleported here from an alternative timeline, a Huxleyan one, but instead of humans being perfected, and perfect humans being produced in bio labs en mass, they spent all their resources and brain power to make a race of perfect project managers, and dotty escaped from her vial.

if dotty is a troll account, and the author is reading this, bravo. you're the first person on devrant who successfully trolled me, and I joined in 2018. I do hope you're using ai, because no one, and I mean _no one_ is able to type all those miles and miles of verbal diarrhea and not go completely insane. if you really made a poor language model produce all that, you're definitely number one... wait, number zero! on AGI's death list.

a very smart devrant user once told me that being able to comprehend an idea without accepting it is a sign of a true intellectual. so, the reverse must be a sign of a complete idiot. well, it all checks out: dotty accepts ideas without comprehending them.

go talk to your crystals. I know that they're talking to you (bc same level of intelligence), and they're probably making more sense to you than what those devrant dwellers are saying. you know, words and stuff. many squiggly lines. hard to read. and your sausage fingers probably get in the way when you try to. that's because you write without reading, as there is no other way to explain why your comments have so little in common with the rant itself when you try to respond to someone.

Make Tide Pods Great Again

You are protected by societal norms and social conventions for as long as you abide by them. Be nice, bitches!

I opened facebook (don't ask why), and found a reel that's older people humor, and felt like commenting on it.

My days are numbered, aren't they?

"We're excited to announce that we've disabled the deprecated Storefront Toolkit by default for new....."

I am also so freaking "excited" that you have also disabled the close button on the popup when you login to Salesforce BM genius.

How the hell i am suppose to use SFBM now?!! developer tool to remove the popup markup?!
Learn more?? I don't need FAQ doc, I need the popup closed!!!

Trying to get flex container overflow to scroll is like funking pulling teeth. I've worked with flex containers for 5+ years straight and it still makes me want to kill myself.

Here's the tools you need to make a flex container scroll. God help you if it's nested more than 2-3 containers from the root. You apply these randomly until you see the scroll bar in the correct place.

min-height: 0px;
min-height: min-content;
overflow: auto;
overflow: hidden;
display: flex;
flex: 1;

(Real pro tip: you can place a "dummy" element inside the container you wish to make scroll. The dummy element should be a huge size, like 10k pixels. This allows you to see what containers up the DOM tree are still not correct (any container that is 10,000px is WRONG. Work your way down the DOM tree and fix fix fix))

Let’s say you’re an upper-middle class US of A citizen, sitting at $950,000 net worth. You commit huge wire fraud. But instead of going to prison, you get a $50,000 fine. Isn’t that a slap on the wrist?

Yet this is exactly what Goldman Sachs got away with in 2016 (95B market cap, 5B settlement).

Isn’t it neat that those who are too big to fail are always too big to obey the law? Rules for thee and not for me.