This happens when production issue comes between Onam (Hindu festival) celebration.

Really ..!!! U kidding me...!!! Give me back my RedBull...

Not a rant, just the completion of a very demanding and interesting task for this week.

Wrote a whole data scheme for this enterprise app my company is developing. Very proud of it, since it has a very restricted size, multiple layers of encryption and data verification, several user types with different requirements, and it all has to be rock solid in an offline environment.

The punchile is...I enjoyed writing the documentation for the whole package more than I should, I guess...spent the whole day being very thorough and documenting every member, function, constructor and exception.

Feelin fabulous.

"Our app needs a barcode scanner"
Fair enough, let's do this!
Android implementation using Zxing: 3 days. Ios: 9 days...
1. Dev iPhone has a subtle hw defect that doesn't let it connect to the computer anymore...
2. Our app-framework doesn't have a proper plugin for ios barcode scanners yet.
3. The first barcodescanner implementation is completely broken
4. Swift is not possible because of conflicting framework plugins
5. Build a plugin from scratch, using zxing objective c port.
6. Build problems with main app.
7. Fuck my life

My last internship (it was awesome). A programmer developed a vacation/free day request application for internal use.
Asked if I could test it for security.
The dev working on it thought that was a very good idea as he wasn't much into security and explained how the authentication process worked.
I immediately noticed a flaw just from his explanation. He said it was secure anyways (with an explanation but his way of thinking was wrong in this case). Asked if I was allowed to show him. He said he was intrigued by this so gave me a yes right away.

For the record, user levels were normal user, general admin and super admin (he was the only super admin).

Wrote a quick thingy server side (one of my own servers/domains) for testing purposes.

Then I started.

Went from normal user to super admin (his account) through a combination of XSS and Session Hijacking within 15 seconds.

Explained him where he went wrong and he wrote a patch under my guidance 😃.

That felt so fucking awesome.

when was i feeling like a fucking dev badass ?
that time when i exploited an sql injection on a news website and added a post with title "Admin please secure your website ;] "
.
.
i was feeling like hacker man 😅😂😂

I just copy-pasted this into 4 of my apps and republished them.

It's part of my own C# library that removes the need to write boilerplate code.

https://github.com/allanx2000/...

(I have a Merged library with some added NET 4.5 conveniences but that's not check-in)

In general, I think making computers do all the grunt work makes me a bad-ass.

That's it I'm done with CSS alignment 💀

!rant
I found ftp server login creditals from a company on google, wrote them they should change their password and they sent me a 20€ Amazon gift card.

Seeing OOP classes with more than a 1000 lines of code really pisses me off.

Jack and Jill
Pulled down from git
To fetch aPaleOfWater.c
Jack made some changes
And then pushed them all up
A merge conflict occurred
Jill decided his changes sucked
And push --force over his
Jack was enraged
For history was changed
And force pushed Jill
down a hill

The biggest lesson I learned in Frontend Dev is: listen to users, not clients.

There are so many rants about stupid ass clients on here, and when you let clients treat you like that, it's kind of your own fault. Look at how people use your interfaces and you will immediately see what's bullshit about them. When you have user behavior as an argument basis, clients will listen to you.

Crashed Pi on a local cinema

There's a fine line between phishing and just standing on the shore like an idiot. Steven Wright

Re-writing IBM Asembler code to C. No documentation whatsoever. Code was our only reference.

My wifi card has been in the bugs section of almost every major Linux distro for the past 4 years since an update. Tried almost every solution i could find. nothing helped. couldn't use it with it's unstable speed and disconnections. So much for open source and GNU/shit and fix it yourself crap. Do you really expect me to learn to write a wifi driver? I'm done with Linux. Installed Windows and everything was fine. open source software may be good but not the best. Much better to use proprietary software than to waste time trying solutions from the seventh page of google search results.

Citizens are hereby requested to kindly shower us with their love, support and ++s so that we will be able to afford this as our headquarters.

Uhh... OK

Ooh this is good.

At my first job, i was hired as a c++ developer. The task seemed easy enough, it was a research and the previous developer died, leaving behind a lot of documentation and some legacy fortran code. Now you might not know, but fortran can be really easily converted to c, and then refactored to c++.

Fine, time to read the docs. The research was on pollen levels, cant really tell more. Mostly advanced maths. I dug through 500+ pages of algebra just to realize, theres no way this would ever work. Okay dont panic, im a data analyst, i can handle this.

Lets take a look at the fortran code, maybe that makes more sense. Turns out it had nothing to do with the task. It looped through some external data i couldnt find anywhere and thats it. Yay.

So i exported everything we had to a csv file, wrote a java program to apply linefit with linear regression and filter out the bad records. After that i spent 2 days in a hot server room, hoping that the old intel xeon wouldnt break down from sending java outputs directly to haskell, but it held on its own.

Whenever I'm starting to think that my job is hard, I always recall that someone somewhere had to ensure their code compatibility with Nintendo 3DS browser

who will give me closure?

I like RedBull

Guy: You're procrastinating
Me: Hah I haven't even begun to procrastinate yet

Algo strikes again

Typical paranoia's when developing a website
- what if the user has JS turned off ?
- what if he is using the site without a monitor ?
- what if the user's electricity is off ?
- what if there's no user ?

Oh yes the timing is impeccable

Guys guys guys!! I ran the windows network diagnostic tool... And it actually fixed the problem!

That would have to be the meeting we went to to plan a meeting. At the clients offices on top of it, so a 20min drive one way to sit in a meeting room to plan a meeting.

My 6 year old has been learning about trees at school, and had questions for me. Needless to say, she now has the best understanding of data structures in her class, and I expect parents evening will be "interesting"