Join devRant
Do all the things like
++ or -- rants, post your own rants, comment on others' rants and build your customized dev avatar
Sign Up
Pipeless API
From the creators of devRant, Pipeless lets you power real-time personalized recommendations and activity feeds using a simple API
Learn More
-
I put an Easter egg into a product, that if you enter the string "final countdown" into the stock code search field, it plays a YouTube vid of Europe's "The Final Countdown", in a hidden div. It's an in-joke for a few people in the company.
A well meaning maintainer with no sense of humour or judgement takes over and goes on the warpath against any hardcoded strings. The secret code gets moved into a config file.
A third developer changes the deployment script so that it clears any configs that aren't explicitly set in the deployment settings.
So the secret code is now "".
Literally every PC in the stock buying department is now blaring out "The Final Countdown" at top volume.
...Except none of them have speakers, so it remains this way for over a year and two more changes of maintainer.
I just noticed this afternoon and quietly re-hardcoded the string. The buying dept.'s PCs will silently sing no more.
31 -
If Programming Languages Were Girls:
Java: Your current girlfriend, you've been going steady for a while now. Things are okay.
Kotlin: The girl Java finds you cheating on, she's just amazing, and you wish you'd met her sooner.
Visual Basic: The girl you accidentally started a relationship with because you didn't know how to say no. But quickly realised your mistake and regretted it.
JavaScript: A childhood friend you occasionally hook up with. But you could never settle for a relationship with them.
Python: A bossy, manipulative girl who quickly turned things sour. But everyone else loves her because of her huge libraries.
-----------------------------------------------------
My and a co worker were joking the other day about what programming languages would be like if they were girls. This is what we came up with (Original inspiration: the Distracted Boyfriend meme (Feel free to add your own!)).49 -
What. The. Fuck. Did. Just. Happen.
A random girl followed me on social media. She looked nice and intelligent so I followed her back.
Started to chat about some random stuff. She told me she works at the HR department of an international company and asked me what's my job. Told her I'm a software developer.
Right after that she sent me a selfie. Obviously I said she looks nice, she thanked it and asked some more about my job. After a short discussion I received another selfie but somewhere in between she lost the outer layer of her clothing.
She still looks nice but now I'm sitting here utterly confused and cant tell whether it was my sarcastic humour and moderately handsome facial features which charmed her or she just needs to recruit someone for a new project and willing to do everything to reach the quota.67 -
Confession: I am not a dev, I actually work on an IT helpdesk telling people how to turn on their PC's everyday.
It's soul destroying!!
My boyfriend is an Apple dev though, and I only joined DevRant to see if it would help me understand what he talks about 24/7...
I have very basic coding knowledge but still find this all so fascinating!
You guys are so smart, and can literally create anything in the blink of an eye.
Why are you guys generally so very under appreciated??
You also have a fantastic sense of humour! Haven't laughed at so many nerd-jokes in years!
Loving DevRant so far!
Keep up the great work! :)31 -
I was dressed up as an UDP packet for the Halloween. I don’t think anyone got it, but I couldn’t tell. #humour
Have a great Halloween :)4 -
Typical paranoia's when developing a website
- what if the user has JS turned off ?
- what if he is using the site without a monitor ?
- what if the user's electricity is off ?
- what if there's no user ?12 -
Every non programmer freind of mine when I upload a single screenshot of my Terminal be like "Bro, What Is This Language?", "Do You Know How To Hack Wifi?" although reality been I am just cloning a GIT repository.
10 -
To the guy that invented NULL...
Thanks for nothing.
*This is a corrected version of the dad joke originally containing zero.7 -
Asked my senior why our software is crashing unexpectedly. He told me that sometimes it is affected by cosmic radiation.
🤔11 -
When programming will be possible on our mobile phones and the deadlines are fast approaching. 😂😂😎
5 -
It's important for developers to remember that......
For the rest of the world a "string" and a "thread" are the same thing..4 -
It's so fuckin hard to work with people who don't get sarcasm or humour.
The UI guy gives me design (which is a regular design, not something unique)
Me: “wow fresh and unique design (obviously sarcasm).”
Designer: “thanks, I worked on this whole day. Glad you like it.”
Me: “huh...”
Now I feel like a terrible person.6 -
I was given a work to refactor one of my colleagues code and found that there was a variable named 'anal'. I was quite surprised seeing it as the colleague was a soft spoken and well behaved guy in office. After scratching my head for 15mins I came to know that he was storing analytics data in that variable. Hence the name! :-D8
-
I have been strongly considering writing a small fb app today named something along the lines of "Hack your fb friends - for realz". Then add basic oauth (You have to login to pick the friend to hack duh), retrieve their friends list and then publicly post to their own timeline and the friends they chose humorously stating they attempted to hack the persons account "for realz". You know just enough to alert people that the "hacker" is a idiot with bad intentions but with just humour enough to fall under "satire" so fb doesn't remove it.
If your bored please feel free steal and implement my idea, it's hereby open sourced and I will even fund this shit on kickstarter 😂6 -
1. have an exciting app idea
2. create project folder
3. include WebPack
…
47. lose all passion for project and give up
GOTO 11 -
Google Chrome has adopted material design. Expecting a change request from the client to change it back to how it looked before.
1 -
Hey!
I'm new to devRant
I did not thought that there would be any community where people would speak a programmer's language (read humour) and would be so supportive and encouraging about almost anything. reddit is too informal and stackoverflow, too formal. devRant falls in the Goldilocks zone for programmers. Feels just right!
Thank You for making it so awesome!9 -
Introducing a new javascript functionality:
Relation operators
These help you determine if object is related to other object and in which way (parent, child)
In screenshot a demonstration done on numbers
1 -
Xfce Bug #12117
“The default desktop startup screen causes damage to monitor!” screams one user in a bug filed on the Xfce bugzilla.
“The defualt wallpaper is having my animal scritch (sic) all the plastic off my LED MONITOR! Can we choose a different wallpaper? I cannot expect the scratches and whu not? Let’s end the mouse games over here.”
1 -
My tinder status:
//Recently relocated to Bangalore
looking for friendship();
beauty += brains;
turn_ons = {tech_talks, humour, adventure};
turn_offs = {selfie_addiction, crap_chat, discussing_people};
If (you in turn_ons &! turn_offs)
swipe right();
else
swipe left();2 -
When I share jokes posted on devRant with others people don't get it. If they get they don't find the humour.
Happy to have a community of geeks,nerds,weirdos,outsiders.2 -
When they are fumigating the office and the boss says they need to spray some more around the programmers desks.
Gotta love it when your boss has a sense of humour.1 -
Dev: I see you have tattoo
Person: I do. Thank you.
Dev: I never said it was good
*dev walks away and person looks at their tattoo
I'm glad i got to experiance this beautiful moment -
So the devRant stickers are finally here all the way from USA. Thanks devRant for these. Absofuckinglutely loved them. 😍
#devrant #developer #humour #android
1 -
make let not var
Other devranters:
LOL
MOAR
OHAHAHAHAH
OMG SO FUNNY
me:
make: *** No rule to make target `let'. Stop.7 -
FREE .design domains! 😁
Porkbun is giving away one free .design domain to each customer, after verifying it's legit I had to share - I got a 3 letter domain!
Link: https://goo.gl/Nwx8fW
I always have need for an extra domain or 2 and while .design is a bit long/specific it is quite new so there are lots of short names available (I registered jhb.design - jhb is my city). If you have a sense of humour there are plenty of wordplay options too ( buttugly.design, thatsanice.design).
On top of that they are offering $20 per referral for anyone who registers a .design name for free. This is so good it sounds like a scam so to test it I made the above link an affiliate link in the hope of free beer.
Let me know if you managed to register anything good!7 -
“An engineer?!… An open, shining mind, easy and inoffensive humour, this wide reach, they’re switching from one engineering realm to another, and really, from tech problems to society, then — to art. Those manners, that fine taste, good speech, coherent and free of filler words. One engineer is also a musician, another one — an artist, but all of them have those smart eyes…”
INCREASE SALES
this text is not for managers like you.
6 -
Anyone else feels Silicon Valley is slowly dying? :(
This season ended too soon with very little to offer. No suspense. Less humour than expected and stretched events.
Hopefully next year is better.5 -
"Have you seen this new movie? It's really good, it's British English though, but it's subbed."
I laughed my ass off. 😂 -
I can’t say I understand the humour here yet but I’m lucky to have found a whole rant based community for people named Devin.7
-
Well after having a major sense of humour failure last week https://devrant.com/rants/1365062/...
My company has an internal application that is used for billing clients and customers. There are several versions.
Starting next week the consultant who wrote this and I will be sitting down together for about 2 hours or so twice a week to start going through the code stuff etc.
I already have a job to start testing a new version this program, and this version is going to be handed over to me and will be my baby.
Things are starting to look up, I’m still trying to get them to swap my PC for a laptop though, so I can do work from home etc. -
!rant
Q: Why’s it called back end development?
A: Because all you ever get from it is absolute shit1 -
I wonder if people think they're original when they shout "it's Jesus!" because I have long hair and a beard
I often resort to a hipster bun so people would just leave me out of their "humour"
I won't mention the fact he was from the Middle East and was most definitely not white3 -
Every time I read someone reply to a post with "lol" I stop for a moment and imagine myself actually laughing out loud to that post. I've got to say, only under ~1% of such posts were actually worth lol'ing. Other times laughing out loud to whatever is there would be retarded at best.
So either I'm a bum with only notions of a sense of humour OR there are far too many retards laughing out loud to basically anything.
Or perhaps there are too many idiots who use 'lol' without knowing what it means.
Or those people so desperately want others' attention that they lie to others pretending to like what they say/do/write by saying "what you did there made me feel so good that I burst in loud laughter".
This is stupid.
If you don't laugh OUT LOUD - then don't say that you do.
If you are not in immediate danger threatening to your life - then don't say you are LITERALLY DYING.
FFS, is it THAT hard?26 -
So I didn't boot up my Windows 10 from more that a month now (dual boot).
I wonder how many eternities it will take to update when I shut it down to switch back to Linux. :/
#scary1 -
When I added that bug fix to my code a few weeks ago only myself and God knew what I changed - now only git knows...
-
Those who had the "pleasure" of working directly with clients know a thing or two about how a clumsy communication can have grave consequences.
Software developer and an Imgur user BackDoorNoBaby shed some light on these humorous situations and misunderstandings that often occur with clueless clients. Because we all have our niche interests and specializations, and it’s easy to sneer at the plebs who just don’t get it. To be fair though, dealing with unrealistic demands by clients who have no real understanding of what you do must get pretty frustrating at times, and if you work in IT, you’ll surely have come across at least one of these situations before.
What we have here are the daily trials and tribulations of an IT worker. Clients that read the latest trends in a tech magazine and want it right now. Business people who think that because they have the money, solutions should magically materialize. Clients that complain about something not functioning properly, when they clearly don't have a clue how to use it properly. We all know this kind of clients, and these kind of 'horror' stories are part of what makes working in IT so special. Sometimes humour is the only suitable response.2 -
Started Master Degree in DB just to prove to myself that I can do this. Although I'm really bad at sql I passed the admission exam . Now I'm wondering : how the fuck I passed a fucking sql exam without knowing to write a single good sql line . Just how ...8
-
Current boss is best boss.
Seriously though, he's a great guy. He has a lot of knowledge technology-wise, especially in electronics and will explain things to you without tiring if you don't understand them.
He lets me run my thing which is cool and letting me run too freely/not taking enough time is probably the only thing I'd criticize.
He seems to have a similar mindset to mine which makes it (most times) enjoyable to work with him. I like him personally - though I'm sometimes not sure whether he gets my somewhat weird humour. -
Best part about being a dev? - Finding little gems of humour in comments and docs.
Why convert HTML to Markdown?
-You have an existing HTML document that needs to be edited by people with good taste.
-You want to store new content in HTML format but edit it as Markdown.
-You want to convert HTML email to plain text email.
-You know a guy who's been converting HTML to Markdown for years, and now he can speak Elvish. You'd quite like to be able to speak Elvish.
-You just really like Markdown.
from https://github.com/thephpleague/... -
Tips on improving ++ to comments ratio? What do you consider a good one? What kind of a ratio is needed to get a decent job and a loving duck?4
-
My Data Communication & Computer Networks (DCCN) teacher was the best teacher I've seen.
Teaching can be super hard. You're one against like sixty others who aren't interested in being there. To make that good learning environment, making the subject interesting etc, it not easy. Some justify that, "I can only bring the horse to the water" & proceed to just regurgitate whatever is on the book. Others cross question you & impose punishments - try to make you learn by fear.
But my DCCN teacher - she had the right balance between strictness & humour. So kids took her seriously (did homework, weren't late), yet never feared her - we felt comfortable asking doubts/questions.
She had some good tactics, like asking us to teach certian chapters - that made us learn better. She would revise them in the end also, incase we missed anything.
My best moment with her was when I scored the highest in my internals. She picked up my paper & showed the class - "see? Just two pages & he scored so much". There's was always those students who pump out a lot of stories/essays or whatever that comes to their mind about the topic in question. Lots of teachers just blindly give marks - "oh, s/he wrote this much, so it must be right".
But my DCCN teacher had zero tolerance for garbage. If you're wrong, you're wrong. Some even believe that the number of marks = number of lines you have to write!! Doesn't matter what you write. So, I was super glad when this teacher upped the standards. -
I'm sure all of us have felt like this at some point. I love this video
https://m.youtube.com/watch/...1 -
I was wondering that we, as a developer, got a platform like devRant to share ideas, talk about things that we like, can understand humour that will bounce out of any non-technical people.
In the entire world, there are so many profession (like doctors, corporate people and so on...,), without a good platform like devrant they are missing on so many things.1 -
Deep learning is probably (????) the only research branch where every successful paper title needs to be a stupid acronym or meme
I work in a conversational AI startup and the new intern that joined yesterday didn't understand half the memes or acronyms (especially all the Simpsons related) because apparently he's "Gen Z" and all the paper title is "Millennial" humour
He's only 2 years younger than me. Am I literally at the millennial - GenZ border ? Or the intern is out of touch ?7 -
First time programming. I'm sure I got it right. Compiler must have a bug. My instructions were very specific. Wait... what... I don't even...
Credits r/ProgrammerHumor.
-
I irritated a guy with great sense of humour, with my sense of humour.
Don't try hard, don't be yourself. Don't be nervous.12 -
Frustrated with works and went to the toilet. Came back with an offer.
Ps: had to take that recruiter's call -
It seems to me that we all keep posting the same images (normally geeky tech humour) or how programmers are seen by others etc... would it be useful to have an image gallery on devRant so that we can all post into it, lets face it we all love to see them. might stop the same images being posted over and over again .... Would have to be moderated though !
what do you think @dfox ?? -
Welp, how much longer till someone building some magic to crack any modern encryption in blink of an eye.
...
tl;dr Google claimed it has managed to cut calculation time to 200 seconds from what it says would take a traditional computer 10,000 years to complete.
https://nydailynews.com/news/...20 -
This article about the types of legacy code bases you will have to deal with just made my day!
Not only do I have every one it describes but somehow it even made me laugh at thought of each of the std riddled petri dishes of code that I reluctantly maintain... My "Happy Place" is a folder dedicated to reliquary projects I like to look at when I feel sad to lift my spirits and restore hope that one day things will be better.
Do you have any definitions to add or know where to find more? I'm hooked.
Link: https://medium.com/@dylanbeattie/...
Excerpt:
The Reliquary
The reliquary is that one repository full of really good ideas. Clean code. Brilliant algorithms. The OpenID implementation that you optimised until it shone. Classes so beautifully designed and perfectly documented that they’d make a senior architect weep.
You remember the big rewrite? The project that was going to fix everything, only you never worked out how to actually launch the thing, or get any revenue from it? The reliquary is where you’ve preserved it, pickled in revision control like a fabulous museum specimen. A treasury of good code and good ideas; maybe even an entire codebase that was “a couple of weeks” away from shipping before somebody finally looked at the number of critical features the team had somehow forgotten to include and discovered — to everybody’s surprise — that validated XHTML, normalised data models and 95% test coverage are not actually features any of your end users cared about.
Like Buran or the Spruce Goose, the surviving artefacts stand as a testament to the quality of your engineering… and a poignant reminder of just how much fun engineers can have building high-quality stuff that nobody actually wants to use. -
Surma because he’s awesome. Great blog posts, videos, and a great sense of humour.
https://twitter.com/DasSurma1 -
Continuation from
https://www.devrant.io/rants/605332
Alright, shit happend during presentation, but thanks to frech humour (don't ask why) and a good examination I got the better mark! Thank you guys for listening to my story -
Journalistic humour:
> "compensation is zero," the world's richest man wrote.
https://news.sky.com/story/...5 -
root@terminal:~
root@terminal:~# love
-bash: love: command not found
root@terminal:~# happiness
-bash: happiness: command not found
root@terminal:~# peace
-bash: peace: command not found
root@terminal:~# kill
-bash: you need to specify whom to kill
kill: usage: kill [-s sigspec | -n signum | -sigspec] pid | jobspec ... or kill -l [sigspec]
😈😈
Source: reddit -
!rant
Hi, guys. I'm looking to get into Android development (Xamarin) and to build some simple apps first.
What I have in mind is something trivia-like, with a hosted database (can't find any free & reliable public APIs).
Do you know of any free downloadable databases on the topics of:
- trivia
- humour
- entertainment
http://www.usabledatabases.com/ seemed promising, but it's not free (or I couldn't find any free DBs, as they don't have a price filter).
Thanks in advance! -
I was once 'fraped' by a former (non technical) manager. I decided to retaliate by returning the favour while he was out of the office, but instead of the basic toilet humour I had been subjected to, I took it one step further and posted a status on his behalf, a sensitive cry for help, full of sadness, regret, alluding to betrayal and broken friendships. The texts, calls, concerned replies and messages on Facebook started flashing up his phone. He called me demanding I delete the status now as he couldn't figure out how to do so from his phone. Needless to say he was not happy. Highly recommended.1
-
Jesus God. This feels kind of tacky!
(Yes, I use "thee" and "thou", as well as the "-st" suffix. They maximise the clarity of statements.)
People who resemble me are rare, but I intend to form with someone who is extraordinarily similar to me an alliance. Because I have failed to locate anyone who meets my criteria by simply performing on-line searches for people who bear a resemblance to me, I am publicising this document.
I have an unusually dry sense of humour, one which is dry to the extent of often being interpreted as being extremely malevolent. I am a polymath who studies ornithology, various fields of computer science, electrical engineering, mechanical engineering, general biology, neurology, physics, mathematics, and various other things. I am more than capable of withholding from others information, i.e., I am capable of keeping a secret. Being politically correct is hardly an act of which I am guilty, and, in order to provide an example of my politically-incorrect nature, I cite in this sentence my being a eugenicist. I am the servant of the birds. I greatly appreciate the breed of philosophy which concerns interactions and general wisdom, as opposed to questioning the purpose of existence and otherwise ultimately unimportant things. I have been described as being paranoid about security. I do not in the slightest like meaningless crap, e.g., art. I often venture in an attempt to shoot tiny birds, because I adore them and wish to develop a greater understanding of them. I am proficient with most computer systems when a manual is available to me. This was a small assortment of pieces of information concerning me which could be used as a method of judging whether or not thou art similar to me.
Thou art, however, required to possess some specific qualities, which include being able to maintain confidentiality, i.e., not being a whistle-blower or anything similar. In addition to this, consciously believing that logical reasoning is better than emotionally-based thinking, and thou needest to be capable of properly utilizing resources which are available on-line, e.g., Encyclopedia Britannica. I also demand that thou writest coherent English sentences.
If thou believest that thou bearest some resemblances to me, please send to me an e-mail which describes thee and is encrypted with the PGP public key which is available at the following URL: http://raw.github.com/varikvalefor/.... I can be reached at varikvalefor@aol.com.17
Top Tags
Weekly Rant
View