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The guard at our school thinks I'm hacking
My parents thinks I'm hacking
My teacher thinks I'm hacking
But all I did was only build Redis from source...
Bruh20 -
New neighbor came in yesterday, she cute, and apparently she also goes to the same college as me, though... when she came in last night to thank me she thought I was doing something illegal
Neighbor: "What are those?"
Me: "Lemme ex-"
Neighbor: "Are you doing [hacky hacky uwu]?"
Me: "First before you get the wrong-"
Neighbor: "I'm call-"
Me: "This is a fucking weather sattelite reciever ffs"
[Awkward silence]
Fast forward to today, landlady came in and immediately recognized my weather sattelite rig (I did it for a science fair before I graduated SHS), told neighbor she shouldn't worry because I have stuff like this everyday
God, if it wasn't for our landlady, I would have the police in my ass for neighbors getting the wrong idea...
Seriously nani the fuck19 -
Fucking hell. Today we reviewed candidates for a web dev position. I already fucking know that here we ain't gonna get a top motherfucker, i already know that the person selected will have to be rigorously trained AND THAT IS FUCKING FINE WITH ME.
The thing is, fucking head of the departmen was hellbent on just grabbing people with the highest education possible setting aside lack of experience. I would not have minded if it weren't because we have a secretary that applied...that got her degree in our very own institution and that has worked with our CMS admin creating web stuff. She is smart and has the drive man, and i don't even like her, but i could see her being in the position, being trained and doing good.
Hod said no, because of her lack of education and experience.....BRUH she got her associate's at OUR SCHOOL wtf do we have students go through it if we ain't gonna hire them if they intend on applying to work with us like wtf might as well advertise that: the degree provided by this institution is not good enough to work with us :D that would be 3000 for those two classes thank u.
Holy fuck i was beyond upset man, if i am to train these fuckers might as well be someone that i know will give it her all and studied with us. Dude quoted favoritism and i said that i was just going by the data that i have on her holy fuck.11 -
I just earned a badge on StackOverflow, let me quote it:
"You've earned the 'Tumbleweed' badge (Asked a question with zero score, no answers, no comments, and low views for a week) for [title]"
... Bruh, am I supposed to be happy now?10 -
this isn't even a tech thing. it just fucking bamboozled me. I overheard a conversation today.
> "duuuude you gotta make a better password that shit is insecure af"
> "bruh i did, i googled it"
> "googled what?"
> "how to make a good password"
> "so how longs your password?"
> "not long, it's bob2"
> "where's your capital?"
> "I made the '2' capital"
> "so you capitalized a number…"
thank god he walked away. he even told him his fucking password. ignorance.10 -
Manager: "The password must be encrypted to store it inside the database."
Me: "Great! No problem."
Manager: "Then it must have a copy of the unencrypted password to send it by email."
😐7 -
Website Intro: Hello! I'm here to tell you how my life changed since I learned to build websites and became independent blah blah blah
Me: Cool. One sec.
*scrolls down*
Footer: Proudly powered by WordPress. Get the theme here!
Me: Bruh... No.12 -
I sent the iPhone crasher in my classgroup yesterday. Today morning a few girls out of my class said that I triggered a virus with a textmessage. Bruh6
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There are things that i wish i didn't see.
Yesterday, i went to a coffee shop to relax and reviewing my works. And suddenly a college friend of mine approach me and we started talking about work.
Me: So, What do you do at work? What's your stack?
Him: Not much of a new. Still working with wordpress, html,css and jquery.
So he started talking about how cool wordpress is and how he generates money doing sites.
Me: Can i see your sample works?
Him: Sure, *opens his shitty windows laptop with Web Tech stickers*. and handover his laptop to me.
Me: Woah. the design is so neat (I'm lying). But it's freaking slow man(REALLY FVCKING SLOW).
* I decided to open the devTools and inspected the source code. And I can't believe what i saw.
- 20+ images with 2~4mb file size
- 13 unminified javascript files with variable declarations that looks like minified.
- CDN's of bootstrap, foundation and semantic UI
- LOTS OF FVCKING PLUGINS
* I didn't told him what i saw. I just turn over the laptop to him and finish my coffee.
Him: My sites are cool right? I have a lot of pending projects right now. Easy money Bruh!
Me: Wow. *sips* coffee. and say goodbye to him and walkout.
I FEEL BAD FOR HIS CLIENTS!4 -
Project Managers be like "hey bruh, I just wanted to put a meeting half way through your crunch for a deadline to make sure we can meet that dead line"4
-
::python coding::
Friend: "so I have to press tab when I want to code inside a function, right?"
Me (Busy): "yea yea, whenever you enter a new scope. Indentation is important in python..."
Friend: "what's a scope?"
#$ cowsay "dafaq"
Me: "bruh, what you doin in Computer Engineering?"4 -
Me: “I’ve done Kubernetes before what could possibly go wro-“
(cni0 breaks IPv4 routing serverside by containerd)
Me:
1 -
My dream was shattered!!
I joined a new company. I graduated last 2 months before and joined as data analyst.
So I was dreaming to work on some awesome research projects and all, but it was just another dream...people here don't work on any sort of data analytics instead the data science team uses regex and all to extract things and say they are building models.
Ahh...wtf!!!
Many co-workers are good and help me, but the boss. He left all the annoying works to me and the release is in next month...
"BRUH I JUST JOINED YOUR COMPANY!!!"
Then after some days he gave me more task, when he found that one task was super easy(i mean it was just to extract things using bs4 and selenium, hardly will take an hour) to do then he took that himself and in the next meeting said he did that work and it was super difficult!!!
Data science here to senior members is just for loop!! I dont even know why I joined this firm
Ahhh!!! I want to scream!!!
11 -
My older brother just moved out today. For 18 years I've shared a room with him, and now he's gone. I have a ~30x10 foot room all to myself (it's the entire second floor of my house).
I do love that now I'm able to play music anytime, and with his stuff gone, it'll be less space taken up in general, that type of thing.
I've been in this room with him for over 8 years now, after my oldest brother moved out, and I've always had this feeling that one portion of the room was mine and the other portion was his. Now it's just...weird. I have both portions now. I have this whole big room to maintain myself. I don't have to worry about my stuff conflicting with his for whatever reason.
The past few weeks, when he's talked about moving out, I've always told him that I was looking forward to it, to having the whole room to myself. Now that he's gone, I just...can't. I can't bring myself to move his stuff that he hasn't taken over to the new house yet, or clean his part of the room.
When we were kids we didn't really get along, and I HATED sharing a room with him. But over time, as we grew up, we started to get along better, and for the past couple years, we've always just talked in the middle of the night when we were both awake. And now he's gone (the new house is maybe a 10 minute drive away), and I know he's not coming back. I know that this whole space is mine now.
I'm gonna miss the talks in the middle of the night, and us keeping each other in check (whenever one of us isn't home in the middle of the night we tend to text each other like "bruh where the fuck you at"), and waking up in the middle of the night (when I'm able to actually fall asleep kinda early) to see him playing Skyrim or Fallout. Hell, even coming home from work or wherever to see him passed the fuck out.
I know that I'm gonna have to clean the whole room soon, and that I'll just have to get over it. I've always been the one in my family that doesn't really show emotion very often, unless I get angry, so when people were crying earlier, I just sat there with an emotionless look on my face. But that's also because I wasn't really feeling much at the time, it didn't really hit until I got home and came upstairs to my room. Hell, right now I'm sitting here just expecting to hear his car alarm as he locks his car like I normally hear every night.6 -
I signed up for a 3 day course on c++ for revision purposes since I haven't used it in years, it was there, so why not.
So we get an email about having to install linux mint beforehand. Naturally, having ubuntu installed, i just ask if I can roll with that. And the answer is:
"Yes you just need to install the compiler, but then you won't get the credit point for the course, since you have not completed all tasks."
And an instruction was attached innthe general email on to how to create a bootable usb stick with windows and set up the partition (!) for a dualboot system for like 10 gigs of linux.
Bruh.
Da fuq.
I'm coming for the c++ not the linux. Also how do you think I've got ubuntu running in the first place? I get it the course is for beginners probably but still.
Also, after reading the instructions and knowing Windows 10 i can see bootloader issues incoming...
Was looking forward to that course now I'm not so sure. 🤔
(Sidenote: i don't care about the point I could get ftom this)11 -
writing library code is hard.
there are sooo many details that go into writing good libraries:
designing intuitive and powerful apis
deciding good api option defaults, disallowing or warning for illegal operations
knowing when to throw, knowing when to warn/log
handling edge cases
having good code coverage with tests that doesn't suck shit, while ensuring thry don't take a hundred years to run
making the code easy to read, to maintain, robust
and also not vulnerable, which is probably the most overlooked quality.
"too many classes, too little classes"
the functions do too much it's hard to follow them
or the functions are so well abstracted, that every function has 1 line of code, resulting in code that is even harder to understand or debug (have fun drowning in those immense stack traces)
don't forget to be disciplined about the documentation.
most of these things are
deeply affected by the ecosystem, the tools of the language you're writing this in:
like 5 years ago I hated coding in nodejs, because I didn't know about linters, and now we have tools like eslint or babel, so it's more passable now
but now dealing with webpack/babel configs and plugins can literally obliterate your asshole.
some languages don't even have a stable line by line debugger (hard pass for me)
then there's also the several phases of the project:
you first conceive the idea, the api, and try to implement it, write some md's of usage examples.
as you do that, you iterate on the api, you notice that it could better, so you redesign it. once, twice, thrice.
so at that point you're spending days, weeks on this side project, and your boss is like "what the fuck are you doing right now?"
then, you reach fuckinnnnng 0.1.0, with a "frozen" api, put it on github with a shitton of badges like the badge whore you are.
then you drop it on forums, and slack communities and irc, and what do you get?
half of the community wants to ban you for doing self promotion
the other half thinks either
a) your library api is shitty
b) has no real need for it
c) "why reinvent the wheel bruh"
that's one scenario,
the other scenario is the project starts to get traction.
people start to star it and shit.
but now you have one peoblem you didn't have before: humans.
all sorts of shit:
people treating you like shit as if they were premium users.
people posting majestically written issues with titles like "people help, me no work, here" with bodies like "HAAAAAAAAAALP".
and if you have the blessing to work in the current js ecosystem, issues like "this doesn't work with esm, unpkg, cdnjs, babel, webpack, parcel, buble, A BROWSER".
with some occasional lunatic complaining about IE 4 having a very weird, obscure bug.
not the best prospect either.4 -
tldr: My school created 1000 Microsoft and Google accounts without our permission and we can't even use the services they provide.
A few days ago I ranted about our schools IT department blocking all outgoing ports.
A few days ago we also got Enterprise OneDrive accounts to store all our stuff, sound wonderful in theory.
The thing is OneDrive doesn't work without outgoing ports either...
So our School created both Microsoft and Google accounts in our names. This is against the law. You can't just register 1000 Google and Microsoft accounts in some else's name, like bruh wtf.16 -
So this Fujitsu monitor has a Vesa 100x100 mount but the monitor stand isn't removable. Bruh, why even bother putting a Vesa mount on the monitor if you can't take the original damn stand off. Fuck you Fujitsu, fuck you.
7 -
"Need a single page website to be developed with about 3-5 pages including product page."
These clients man11 -
Someone posted a picture of a porn actress(like a *new* actress) that looks exactly like my manager.....bruh this is killing me she looks exactly like my manager to the point that it is freaking me out thinking that she has a gig on the side or something
I can't get over this.
This is what happens when your manager is insanely attractive.
Internet wtf.
No i am not posting pictures.55 -
Oh yeah, the app does nothing and yet it's still 14mb in size. Like bruh, 'The app does nothing', nothing as in mine bitcoins? 🤔
Also, 1M downloads? Screw good app ideas and make this instead.
5 -
Conversation with co-worker
Me: *Asks question 1*
Me: *Asks question 2*
Co-worker: *Answers only to question 2*
This happens way too often... Like, bruh... 😑7 -
Fun fucking story time so buckle your dick holsters.
My Windows partition died the other day. Like totally fucking died. Not recoverable at all. So I decided "Oh it's okay, I'll just boot up a windows USB and reinstall it."
I remembered I had ordered an m.2 ssd so I waited for that to arrive for the sick speed boost. All went well, it arrived and I realised my peasant MoBo doesn't support NVME at all. "No problem, pcie adapter bruh".
Inserted and started again. "Ruh roh raggy!" Fucking BIOS cant find the NVME. "Never mind I have a spare SSD. I'll use that and move shit around later." STILL NO FUCKING DICE. THE FUCKING BOOT USB WORKS BUT WHEN THE INSTALLER TRIES TO RESTART WINDOWS TO FINISH THE INSTALL IT FUCKING LOADS THE USB AGAIN AND WITHOUT THE USB IT FAILS.
The fuck do I do here? I've been sat all fucking day trying to sort this shit to no avail so now I have a very fucking expensive door stop while I try to solve the ever fucking great riddle of "I need the usb but the usb fucks the install that needs to usb to finish".
Such fucking bullshit.
5 -
Son of a fucking bitch I forgot to pay the fucking internet bill and now my connection is down until the fucking payment processes.
Fucking shit I can't do a damn thing without internet bruh.17 -
One of those "Fuck this shit, I'm outta here" moments! CEO, in a dying startup wants to go on a 5 day vacation to Mexico while I'm sitting here fixing production bugs! FUCK THIS SHIT BRUH5
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As a 16 year old, the hardest problem I've always encountered is trying to explain to people that coding as actually more complex than just typing random words.7
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Motherfuckin fuckidy duck fuck!
I am so done with Azure for today!
After I ran out of space on a secondary drive I shut the VM down and increased said drive and now after starting it (which takes way too long already) I can't ssh into it: "Connection refused". Diagnostics say "everything is fine bruh" and now I'm stuck with an inaccessible VM which I already spent half the night on configuring and downloading 60gb of sources.. aaargh!8 -
911 I would like to report a bruh momento
Their Chrome OS lab is shutting down due to a power outage
2 -
You know what irks me is whenever people ask me how to do something without Googling it first.
Like ffs whenever I Google the same issue because I don't know the answer either, it's literally the first fucking result. Like damn bruh.
I don't mind helping people at all, but please at least try to be an adult and Google the fucking question first.16 -
sooooooooo for my current graduate class we were to use the MVC pattern to build an IOS application(they preferred it if we did an IOS application) or if you didn't have an Apple computer: an Android application.
The thing is, they specified to use Java, while in their lectures and demos they made a lot of points for other technologies, hybrid technologies, such as React Cordova, all that shit, they even mentioned React Native and more. But not one single mention of Kotlin. Last time I tried my hand at Android development was way before Kotlin, it was actually my first major development job: Mobile development, for which we used Obj C on the IOS part and well, Java on the Android part.
As some of you might now, I rarely have something bad to say about a tech stack(except for VBA which I despise, but I digress) and I love and use Java at work. But the Android API has always seem unnecessarily complex for my taste, because of that, when I was working as a mobile development I dreaded every single minute in which I had to code for Android, Google had a great way to make people despise Java through their Android API. I am not saying it is shit, I am not saying it is bad, I just-dont-like-it.
Kotlin, proves a superior choice in my humble opinion for Android development, and because the language is for retards, it was fairly easy for me to pick it up in about 2 hours. I was already redesigning some of my largest Spring applications using half the code and implemented about 80% of the application's functionality in less than 3 hours(login, fragment manipulation, permissions, bla bla) and by that time I started to wonder if the app built on Kotlin would be ok. And why not? If they specifically mentioned and demonstrated examples using Swift, then surely Kotlin would be fine no? Between Kotlin and Java it is easy to see that kotlin is more similar to Swift than Java. So I sent an email. Their response: "I am sorry, but we would much rather you stick with the official implementations for Android, which in this case is Java for the development of the application"
I was like 0.o wat? So I replied back sending links and documentation where Google touted Kotlin as the new and preferred way to develop Android applications, not as a second class citizen of the platform, but as THE preferred stack. Same response.
Eventually one of the instructors reflected long enough on it to say that it was fine if I developed the application in Kotlin, but they advised me that since they already had grading criteria for the Java program I had to redo it in Java. It did not took me long really, once I was finished with the Kotlin application I basically rewrote only a couple of things into Java.
The end result? I think that for Android I still greatly prefer Kotlin. Even though I am not the biggest fan of Kotlin for anything else, or as my preferred language in the JVM.
I just.......wish....they would have said something along the lines of: "Nah fam please rewrite that shit for Java since we don't have grading criterias in place for Kotlin, sorry bruh, 10/10 gg tho" instead of them getting into an email battle with me concerning Kotlin being or not being the language to use in Android. It made me feel that they effectively had no clue what they were talking about and as such not really capable of taking care of students on a graduate level program.
Made me feel dirty.12 -
He wanted to hire me as CTO but insisted of defining architecture himself even though he admitted he has no tech background. He insisted that his CRM doesn’t even need backend because “we have database”. He was dysgraphc but completely ignored accessibility, including measures for dyslexic people. He called his product “startup” but denied that startups need to constantly validate ideas and denied the conception of a/b testing, offering no alternative.
He also wanted me to work for free.
Bruh you’re not a clown, you’re an entire circus.6 -
Jesus Christ Almighty fucking Instagram is a real shit show lately.
So many fucking bots. The porn bots than spam comments and DMs, the bots people tag in comments that get you a lot of likes and then just people that use bots to comment on posts.
Like fucking hell bruh can y'all fix your shit?7 -
Like, seriously, bruh. Some junior have managed to run Notepad++ that consumed a lot of RAM... on our development server... on CentOS... using Wine.15
-
"Hey Google define *word*"
>>*Definition of word*
"Hey Google define *struggle to pronounce word while sounding like I have tourette's or I'm having a stroke; get no where close to the accurate pronunciation*"
>>*Gives definition of the word I'm trying to say*
This asshat can understand me stroking out while failing miserably to pronounce a word, but when my southern accent kicks in and fucks with the pronunciation of some words, this thing can't take it? Fucking hell bruh.19 -
Another incident which made a Security Researcher cry
[ NOTE : Check profile to read older incidents ]
-----------------------------------------------------------
So this all started when I was at my home (bunked the office that day xD) and I got a call from a..... Let's call him Fella as I always do . So here we go . And yeah , our Fella is a SysAdmin .
-----------------------------------------------------------
Fella - Hey man sup!
Me - Good going mate , bunked the office , weather's nice , gonna spend time with my girl today . So what's goinon?
Fella - Bruh my network sharing folders ain't working no more .
Me - Did you changed or modified anything?
Fella - Nope
Me - Okay , gimme your login creds lemme check .
Fella - Check your inbox *texts me the credentials*
*I logged in and what I'm seeing is that server runs on Windows2008R2 , checked the event logs , everything's fine and all of a sudden what I found is fucking embarrassing , this wise man closed SMB service*
Me - Did you closed SMB service?
Fella - Yeah
Me - You know what it does?
Fella - Yeah it's a protocol , I turned it off to protect the server from Wannacry .
Me - Fuckerrrr!!!!! Asshole dumbass you fuckin piece of Dodo's shit!! SMB is the service responsible for files and network sharing!!!
Fella - But....I just wanted protection
Me - 😭😭😭
*A long conversation continues with a lot of specially made words to decrease the rate of frustration which I used already*
Fella - Okay I'm turning it on .
Me - Go on....... Asshole
Fella - It worked! Thanks a lot bro
Me - Just leave me and my soul away from evil and hang up .
*Now the question is , who the hell gives them the post of SysAdmin? While thinking this question , I almost thought of committing suicide but then my girl came with coffee and my rubber duck*1 -
Decided to clean up my pictures folder, found this picture from October last year. It's taken the same day i reinstalled windows.
2 -
FIRST RANT: When someone tries to scam a CS major...
Ok, so today I received a msg from a super hot guy on Grindr (that's right, I went there >_<). We chatted for a bit, traded some photos, his full frontal matched his profile pic so I was impressed. Then suddendly he asked me if I could "check out his fanpage" through a link that he will send to me..
"Mmmmmmmm that sounds like a scam bruh."
The mofo didn't give up and even had the nerve to try and assure me that "scammers will ask for money upfront and they're usually from another country (WTF??)"
"DUDE, I'm a Computer Science student! Not particularly fond of links!"
And then he blocked me. HAHAHA #DODGEDIT4 -
Fuck android studio updates, fuck OpenGL libraries, fuck nvidia graphics on Linux, fuck it all to hell.
These bullshit updates keep breaking stuff in apps, and then the emulator itself gets broken somehow, then I need to run a bullshit shell script I found on some esoteric Arch Linux forum to symlink OpenGL .so libraries on my Linux machine every time I update because fucking OpenGL and nvidia crappy drivers on Linux, which also broke my xrandr configs and segfaulted the xfce4-display app.
Seriously that's horseshit. Linux will never ever ever break through the glass ceiling and become idiot-proof non-tech user friendly like the botnets Winblows and macPrison.7 -
What kinda blockhead moron at my ISP decided that I require a new modem & router that is managed by THEM! I'm not really baffled by the privacy concerns but more about that I am unable to manage my home network. I literally cant open ports, manage ip adresses and do other shit I NEED FOR WORKING AT HOME.
I cant print!
I cant read mail!
I cant access my network drives!
My website is down!
Colleagues are asking why the Minecraft server is offline!
And using the new brick they gave me as a modem only, is not possible as there is no setting to be found to turn the router off!
And if I call their imbecile's of support they tell my that if they change a setting, that my phone will disconnect. (The phone line is also connected to the modem!) And right after the support guy said that and wanted to start explaing me further steps, his settings apply and I get kicked off the line. Bruh! You knew this would happen so why didnt you work around it?!?!?!!
Thing is, this new modem isnt even necessary as it doesnt use a different standard like fiber for example.
If I cant figure out how to get my stuff to work again, I swear to god I will turn on full Karen mode and ramble into their next store looking to get some manager fired!
(Ill post an update soon!)8 -
Bruh, catch everyone on LinkedIn posting about how much they love their company/team.
Translated, these read "Please don't sack me!"5 -
You see a talented developer, and you see all their github pages, and everything is just so professional and good
And then you realize "bruh I wanna be like this"
And then you realize you will never be like this, and just admire the other person's work
It's a strange feeling. Something between strong envy and just awe. More envy than awe
Example: this guy wrote a whole OpenGL bind for GoLang and made it dead simple to use. And it's all open source. And it's all under MIT license.
His name is faiface and he is my idol honestly, mostly because of pixelgl.3 -
//rant
So I'm a BI consultant, been doing this for about 6 years now, and I'm pretty good at the data stuffs. Now I had to complete a project for a client where we call a web service and it had to be done in .NET. I wrote a console app in C# that called the WS, dumped the data then a stored proc processed the staging tables into final tables that our visualization tool can consume.
It works, it's done.
Mind you I'm not a pure .NET developer.
And now that it's completed and working this fucking .NET dude that works for my client is basically giving me an attitude talking about "why wasn't it done as a Windows service? Blah, blah" Like WTF!!??? I get that he's the C# BSD but like chill bruh!!
It's annoying as fuck having to work on projects that are not your area of EXPERTISE and then be ridiculed by other elitist assholes about it.
Doesn't happen much, but fuck it's something I hate about dev. FYI, if it was the opposite I would just be asking questions for understanding, not being a sarcastic prick.
//rant done5 -
Saw this in a previous developer's code which is currently in production.
public bool reset;
public bool Reset
{
get{ return reset; }
}
This was done for most if not all the properties.3 -
What the actual fuck. I just found out that on one of the SSD's I bought, the optimal partition start / finish sizes which apparently on that unit only occur every 65 THOUSAND 4kB sectors (which translates to about a quarter GB) means that I have to throw away half a GB worth of space on that disk in order to align it. Very optimized indeed, dear SSD manufacturer! Huge alignment numbers for just that much extra wastage in the name of optimization. Something like 4x sector size on 512 byte sectors or 1x sector size on 4k sectors.. ain't nobody gonna need that. Let's make it a quarter GB.
And that's what they call engineering?10 -
Ya sure 0-2 yes experience with all those requirements + 5 more items hidden cuz of my tiny screen.
What is even more interesting they would like that person to know Swift UI.... It's not even out of beta ....
Also must know C#? For real... Those people do xamarine and native projects and they r not even a software company, they sepcialize in architecture
I hate it when people do this, like take the best at lowest price, that poor Dev is busting his ass to get your job done and you take the profit and give him the remaining change?
Hope this world doesn't get worse than it is....
By the way, job is for Full stack iOS developer 🙄
18 -
When you try fix someone elses computer problem for over an hour then they say "gimme a go", rebooting the system and the problem goes away like houdini...
bruh 😒2 -
Ya ya MS bought GitHub... Like anything is gonna change now. Chill. Not even the API will be shifted sideways, MS will lose so much money if they fuck this one up that they won't risk doing anything stupid.
GitHub will likely stay the same, and who knows, maybe will even get new features. Am I the only one here who's excited/curious about this??5 -
After 48 hours of coding in java at a hackathon, I was filling out a feedback form using my pen and suddenly my friend started laughing ridiculously...
After a while thinking wtf I have been doing wrong (which apparently I couldn't find even double checking the form).
.
Friend: You are filling out a feedback form bruh not creating classes
Me: wtf?
Friendb fucking use periods (full stops) instead of the godamn semicolons in the paper
Me: 😑
.
Took a while to shake my head on that but this fucking happens frequently 😂
Fucking can't feel the joy of coding in python cz I drop semicolons and brackets everywhere 😑😑😑1 -
Me: Finally, I'm gonna put this weekend to work on something productive,
YT: hold on bruh, have you seen this?
Me: fuck...
3 -
Never lose your sense of wonder when it comes to working with clients. Client berated us saying her data were outdated. Ok. Check the file the third party that generated the data is sending us.
Outline all stated discrepancies in the data back to the client, showing that everything lines up with what we are receiving.
Client is frustrated. Contact the third party in their behalf.
Third party support: “oh yea, client had us start sending data to your competitor like a month ago”
Bruh. Bruh. Bruh.
Fortunately the client wants to stay with us and is getting their data pointed back but how in the hell do you forget that. The reason the client when looking at competition (at least guessing looking at previous call records) is to get faster processing of the data coming from the third party. How are you gonna forget you turned off the sending when you are so worried about speed?! Most of our clients are running 7-8 figure businesses by the way.2 -
A beautiful monday morning, and just after an entertaining amusement right after daily stand up, today *was* a good day,
As usual the supid motherfucker (SM) was doing his antics, and even worse than usual because our PO is on honeymoon leave (it’s still bad even with both of them in but at least not this bad lol)
On today’s incident, the SM was having a discussion about the dashboard we’re making for our CMS (content management system) with all the charts and whatnot,
I overheard the dev in charge of the dashboard was arguing with the SM, and the SM was getting all technical,
“You know HTML tables right? tr, td, and use the colspan, give it a colspan of 4 here and 5 here”
And my thoughts were like “wtf are you doing with tables? The layout is already done with flexboxes” but I tried ignoring it,
Next the SM asked one of my colleague who’s also working on the CMS, again arguing about tables,
D: “bruh, we cannot do that, it is an entirely different component”
💩: “well can you try modifying it using table”
D: “like I said, it’s impossible to modify”
💩: “at least can you try it first? I’m sure you can do it”
Then the two devs seems reluctant to continue the discussion, thus ending the conversation, and the SM still enforcing his idea
“Try it first, use the colspan 4 adn colspan 5”
2 minutes I was thinking to myself and I pieced it all together, then it hit me and I got mixed feelings,
...the stupid motherfucker was referring to a chart, from a library, that is rendered using canvas, to be modified using table elements,
*sigh, what a fucking idiot,
2 -
Job Application Rant #1
So, today I found a great job posting on Linkedin. I was excited and created a unique cover letter and my resume and applied. The job was in another country and I need EU work visa for the job.
The contact for the post was also founder of the company. I asked him, via Linkedin, that if they would sponsor the visa for me if everything went good.
He replied to me that " yes we do sponsor visas, but you have only 3 years of programming experience..."(three dots included). I was like wtf, did I miss important part of post about experience minimum limit or something. I would not like to be spam-applier, guy who applies without reading requirements etc.
I checked requirements again there is no minimum experience limit. Anyways, I thanked him for swift response but damn bruh, do not put unlockable requirements to job posts, so someone's dream would not be crushed.3 -
>mvn clean install
[ERROR] Bruh, couldn't find any of these classes you're talking about.
>mvn clean install
[INFO] The job has completed without errors.
Seriously, why is Java/Maven/Spring so temperamental. It's like it has to be in a good mood to compile for me.4 -
Needed my Windows 10 vm for parallax propeller development again. Should be pretty straightforward:
Start VM. Very unresponsive and Interface glitches with 2GB RAM so I give it 4GB to get on the desktop. Bruh, off to a good start.
Turns out that there are a few updates. So I try to install them. After two fucking hours Virtualbox screams at me for being out of storage. FFS Window$ updates managed to take up like 20GB extra.
Had to install it from scratch since my drive is full. Now my key won't activate because it is already activated. 15min support hotline, because 6*8 characters are necessary for a f*cking Phone activation.
Damage assessment:
1h of my life I will never get back, a barely viable operating system and I'm not even sure if USB passthrough works.
PSA:Gnome-Boxen has a superb unattended installer.18 -
Today was a rather funny day in school. School starts for me at 13:40 because our timetable planners are so qualified for this job.
First 2hrs: Physics, fine its good
Second 2hrs: Discrete Maths (however you want to call it)
Goal is to write a text (30 pages, 10, etc all those standard settings). Teacher prefers Latex over word, but we can do it in word if we want. We could choose a topic, I took primes because it looked the best. I decided to use latex because I'm a fetishist and it simply looks better in the end. A classmate was arguing with our teacher about ides: texmaker vs kile. And I'm like "I use vim". So my teacher is like kk
Later that class, when we actually started doing stuff I started the ssh session to my server because I don't know any good c++ compilers for win and I'm too lazy to get a portable version of cygwin (or whatever its called). So in my server I open vim and start coding my tool for Fermat Primes (Fermatsche Primzahlen, too lazy to actually translate). And this teacher seriously is the best teacher I ever met in my life. Usually teachers are like " dude r u hakin' the school server?" and I'm like bruh its just vim and I'm doing it this way because I cannot code on your PC coz I can't install a compiler. And this teacher is like "oh hey you actually use vi, all cool kids used it in 2000. I first though u were kidding and stuff..." And we continued talking about more of stuff like that and I have to say that this is the first teacher that actually understands me. Phew
Now I'm going to continue writing my 30 pages piece of trash latex doc and hope it'll end good1 -
So Earth just completed another revolution around the Sun and people going craaaazy all over the internet. Like calm down bruh :v3
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MongoDB really needs to chill the fuck out with their email marketing, daily emails plus frequent harassment from sales reps wanting to know why I downloaded their software is getting on my tits now.
Anybody would think I'm the first person that's ever installed the bloody thing.
Whenever I add an address to spam or unsubscribe it just seems like the origin address changes, having to rely on client side filtering, yayyy1 -
Have you ever gotten a task where you have to modify some existing code, and to get it to work the way it needs to you have to write some ugly ass code?
And I'm talking FUGLY ass code. The kind where every brain cell you have screams to refactor it all so that your code won't be so ugly and you can live with yourself. But you only wrote it that way because some numbnuts who was fired a year ago designed it that way, and left zero commentary or documentation on his reasoning ("sELf-dOcUmeNtiNg cOde, bRuH!").
It doesn't pose any sort of risk with regards to security or resource management or efficiency, or really even faulty logic. It just looks fucking awful, my brain can instantly see better ways to design it and I don't want history to tie my name to it.
But also the system is being gutted and retired within a matter of months, so maintenance won't even be a concern; and you know that you have a lot of other large tasks that need your attention too, and to refactor will ultimately prove to be a time sink.
I mean ultimately, I know what I need to do, but I guess it's a pride thing. Just makes me feel icky.2 -
C#: The fact that T[,] (multi dimensional arrays) implement IEnumerable, but not IEnumerable<T>.
But one dimensional arrays do.
But you can still foreach over them.
What in the actual hell?
Now I have to write something ugly like
var bruh = values.Cast<float>();23 -
Just met a lonely guy , he was terrified . I asked him what's the issue ? He said .. " My girlfriend told me that she loves gemstones , I bought her one . She broke up with me ! " And I was so confused .. I asked him why ? He said I didn't know she was a developer . I wouldn't dare to gift her a ruby... I know how it feels bruh.2
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Experiences of owning a private server with JFK!
Dropping a prod db: 1
Misplacing passwords: 3
Config errors: Over 9'000
fail2ban banned me: 2
Not reading the docs first since: Forever
Setting up a sever again because I fucked up: 4
Formating the wrong USB stick, which had needed data: 1
Resetting lost DB root password: 2
Server crashes due to insufficient psu: 3
Not knowing the firewall is enabled again, so near to nothing works: 22 -
My life is like...
When someone you hate says something funny and you try not to laugh. :P
Bruh, it hurts so deep5 -
So, I produce a monthly report for our customer service department each month, and this report includes various statistics related to our company's support performance. Two of the included statistics are the "Average Speed of Answer" (ASA for short) and the "Abandoned Call percentage" (ABD % for short) that are derived from client calls to support.
The formulae for these values are:
- ASA = time in seconds all calls that were answered spent waiting to be answered divided by the number of answered calls - displayed as hh:mm:ss
- ABD % = number of abandoned calls minus those that were abandoned in under 10 seconds (referred to as "short abandoned") divided by the sum of total calls that were offered minus the sum of short abandons & transfers
These statistics are also included in a daily version of the same report that all Customer Service leadership personnel have access to.
Now, every single fucking month the same Sr. Manager always has some kind of "discrepancy" with the monthly report that ALWAYS boils down to his dumbass trying to average shit on the daily Excel reports for that month and it being different than what the monthly report is showing. Now, these reports ONLY display the calculated value for any calculated fields mind you - not the raw values of the DB fields used in said calculations.
This month I have to tell this shit-for-brains that you can't just take an average of ASA & ABD % from the Daily's and compare them to the Monthly numbers because their calculated fucking fields!!!
Come to think of it, this has been his issue for like the past 5 months, and I seriously can't fix stupid!
Sometimes I just wanna reply to his snarky ass, corporate bullshit emails like, "BRUH!, The only motherfucking discrepancy I can locate is your IQ and your fucking title - that shit don't correlate homie! Need to take that ass back to High School statistics or something!"
But I digress...
TL;DR
I have to deal with a Sr. Manager who doesn't fucking realize you can't average a calculated field from a daily report and think it's gonna match up with the monthly report. I believe he is borderline retarded, and I often wonder how he got the "Sr." In his title let alone "Manager".
Oh wait, this is corporate America - you just gotta kiss the most ass... never mind.4 -
So how many BRUH moments do you fine people have on a daily basis?
Me? I have a little over a 100 every now and then in just a few hours being at work ⚰️11 -
Been writing a webcrawler to be integrated into Rails and possibly Phoenix (in the future)..
Friend A: Heyyyy. Woah. You speak Latin?
Friend B: Dude he's a hacker bruh.
Friend C: Omgomgomg can you hack J****'s FB?
Me: Guys. It's just code. (¬_¬) -
As a beginner at programming, I've never really appreciated or understood the point of a simple for loop until I've had to use an if/else loop 200 times2
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Bruh, tbh, this is kind of going to be a sad rant.
tl;dr: LEETCODE THE FUCK UP AND GET INTO FANG.
For all the people out there, just stop fucking around with small companies/startups early in your career. Leetcode up and get into FANG. Once you have that validation, these startups will be much easier to get into.
I have gone through this first hand.
After amazing on-sites with multiple startups, where everyone said that I'm the kind of person they're looking for (background wise: CS grad, startup experience, 2+ YOE as a fullstack Dev using Java, py, js and all the famous frameworks you could name), they rejected me.
Heck, a company flew me out to SF from Seattle where I think I had had my best on-site ever. They rejected me today. The sad part is that I actually for once really believed in the mission of the company.
At this point, I have wasted so much time reading about the xyz startup that's about to disrupt pqr industry (to prepare for behavioral/cultural interview), practiced for such shitty interviews like pair programming etc., worked on numerous take home projects (completing all those "bonus" parts) and deploying it and spending money out of my own pocket for that.
I'M JUST FUCKING DONE WITH THIS SHIT.
I have given mock interviews with ex bosses and friends and they told me that I'm good. Heck, I even solved a LC medium in 20 minutes (optimal solution) but still got rejected.
I'm kind of writing this for myself and people who are on the same boat as I am:
Get into FANG and then think about other shit. STOP looking for smaller companies and being scared of getting your ass kicked by a Leetcode interview. Any company who would not take LC interviews will prefer someone from FANG unless you're lucky as fuck. You don't want your career to be based on luck, man. That shit's not gonna take you anywhere.4 -
What’s up with HR calling to do technical interview and asking questions she doesn’t even know the answers to? Bruh, all that time I thought I was speaking with the Hiring Manager only to find out she’s HR when I asked her ONE technical question then she goes..”Oh, I won’t be able to answer that. I’m not technical in this role, I’m just the HR but I can schedule an onsite interview with the hiring manager.”
Me: I believe it’ll be beneficial to have a phone conversation or interview with the hiring manager before deciding if it’s worth coming onsite for an in-person interview.
HR: Ok, I’ll see his availability.
I’m not even concerned if she calls back or not. Plus the rate she’s talking about is really disrespectful.2 -
How coding has impacted my life?
Lol, mann I don't think normal anymore. Everything is logical and conditional statements to me now. If this, do that! Else, do this. I've been making people think 2x about their dumb questions to fix their broken phones, computer screens and yes, the popular one.."can you hack facebook?". I can't even do a simple renaming or count without start with a 0. Normal people start like 1, 2, 3, 4.... and I'm like 0, 1, 2, 3. Bruh, I'd rather code than hang out which I still do but less now..smh -
odoo keeps showing nameerror: name 'id' is not defined.
like bruh, 'id' is in default, the primary key of my fucking model. why the hell cant i reference it
fucking bug3 -
We had an IT question:
What's a window?
I wonder.... -.-
I mean bruh if you want us to study you gotta make shit harder. -
I decide to study Data Science the last 10 months, right now im very competent and have the skills get hands on real projects.
a few months ago i meet a guy on LinkedIn, i help him with some task for some stuff he was doing.
a few weeks ago he say he will hire me for work on an startup he is running with other guys.
after that he never get back to me and not get any response to my messages. i dont know what i do wrong.
now im here feeling cold and dont even know what todo for get some remote work as data scientist.
feels bad bruh :"( give me some directions, where to look for Remote Junior Data Scientist Job?9 -
When you're super OC and the design given to you is super inconsistent like really bruh?? and another thing is, client OKed it.
Dang. -
I spend weeks working on an application for my boss just to have him make me scrap it when I'm done just because there was something wrong with design.2
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Compare and harmonize the web configs
Oh no someone set execution timeouts to 14 days
Fuck fuck fuckity duck
Hey compare all the web configs of all environments and harmonize them all wtf cmon bruh do your job as a developer
Take them and back them up into svn. What do you mean svn isn't a back up system of course it is well its the only thing we have fuck
What do you mean we have shit logging where people will catch an exception and only print the word exception in the log you can figure it out can't you we have live produxtion issues that hace to be solved now what the fuck
How dare you make a. Mistake copying our shitload of a bloated codebase and configuring our 100s of different options all by fukcing hand what the fuck dude do yoh write anyrhing down?
Please catalogue all the exception mails we are getting but we have no db or error reporting system so they all just plop into tue inbox and thats all ypur fuckjng data figure it out kid
This is a rewarding, fulfilling job whwrw you can be both dev ops and a developer and manage all of our fucking environments of which there are about 15 of all your own with no sort of tool or software to aid you because haha what the fuck we wouldn't make your life easy
Whata that you want to spend time to write stuff or change stuff that will nake it easier fot you fuxk that bruh get back to your biklable tasks like holy shit you thjnk this is a charity ofr aomw shit
Live production issues
Live production issues
Produxtion issues. A ghost in the machine. Find it fix if find it fix it find it fix it cmon why can't you fix it I expect you to spend your day hopelessly pretending to try to solve something you fucker
One of the only peopel able to help you sometimes though hes a bit of an old laxky, yeah hea fucking leaving see ya seeya kid and now we're not hirinf anyone to fuckjng help you no no no managing and monitoring the environments its your jov alll fof them every sngle on do you knkw all the xonfiguraiton values for them yet??
Instead we are hiring a new sales person to fucking make us some more money and we don't need naother seceloper to help you infqct lets have you use this mid end retail computer from 2014 to develop on yeah yeah oh but all our shitty code and visual studip will destry your memory but too bad!! Hahahahahdhsj
Go lice is all you, why sare you so slow
How long will it take
How long will it take
How long will it take
How long witll it tqk2
How long will it take holy shit
Give time estimate for sonethign that I don't fucking know how about it will tqke till fuxk you oxloxk4 -
I'm actually in the middle of an impossible deadline and I just needed a break. I'm in a third world country that basically doesn't have any decent internet infrastructure. But that isn't really the problem. The problem was that we couldn't really learn online for a long while and once we had that going, all the CS teachers decided that we should be doing our final, defensible projects within 2 weeks notice (even though we didn't really have the time or the appropriate knowledge to do it) and so it was all basically a struggle where you'd have 3 or less days to shit out some kind of program for one subject and then immediately get to work on another. At this point I might just need a gap year...
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Bruh, just learn them how a computer works with minecraft. Inverters, And, Nand, etc... can all b made there. From there, u can make flip-flops, u can make registers, adders, multiplexors, demuxs. Ofc makin anything more then a 1-bit, maybe 2-bit machine, would be a pain, and dont get me starting on memory that extends one register. But hey, if u got the patience, u can ofc. Put it together to an ALU, combin all of them with a PC to an CPU. Ofc, you got no ROM or RAM, but hey, atleast u've built the hard part.4
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