AboutUh, I'm not good at this
SkillsGetting out of callback hell (yea, mainly JS and web stuff)
Joined devRant on 9/19/2016
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Got to love Ubisoft web devs.
Their new "30 days of Ubisoft" calendar has the browser download 30 images of closed numbered boxes, 30 images for the hover state of each box and another 30 for the open state. Granted, the images aren't big, but hasn't anybody heard of custom fonts and CSS3?
Oh, and the "surprises" have already been leaked on reddit, gj on keeping hints in the page source.
I expect somebody else has chosen this as well, but anyway:
Async.<any-function>, cause they brought me out of callback hell and taught me the undefined ways async...arghhhh fuck
Here's another company hiccup: Get an email from a big online payment company that my account has been suspended due to dubious credit card activity.
Plot twist: I haven't got a credit card!
This one happened to me two years ago:
Off on holiday overseas, just arrived and decide to check my Emails. Easy peasy..."Hey, we noticed you're logging in from a different country. We sent a security code to your backup account."
Welp, fine, login to my backup account: "Hey, we..." Can anybody guess the problem here? Yep, my primary account was the backup account for my backup. Lovely circular dependency.
Microsofts solution: Play the guessing game, where you name us Emails, Contacts and Folders to prove it's yours and we might unlock your account... or not (managed to get it back on the 2nd try)
Thank you Microsoft for ensuring my workfree, email-free holiday.2
Why do users find it so hard to understand short and clear error messages that are in place to inform them what's going wrong? Why do they instead waste my time when the message clearly says that the password is too short and hasn't got any special characters? FFS!7
To improve our user's "experience" I suggested to my boss to add a status page showing...well, the current status of our services. Everybody was up for it, so I go off and implement a basic version + automated monitoring backend, get lots of positive feedback, all seems fine.
Then it starts:
Boss: "Can you get it all set up by this Saturday?"
Me: "Uh, today is Wednesday and I've never set up all the stuff needed on a proper server before"
Boss: "Well, you still have a few days. Please also contact your coworker to get it all hooked up in our launcher"
Me: "I'll try, can't make any promises though"
Contact my coworker and tell him what the plan is. I had already given him access to the repo and he is positive to get it all hooked up (I doubt he ever cloned my repo, let alone ran my code)
Spend all Friday getting my stuff set up on the production server, feeling pretty good thanks to the many tutorials.
Contact the boss Friday evening:
Me: "All up and running"
Boss: "Thanks, but we decided to go with a basic HTML page instead. We can just manually edit that, should be enough.
In the end my stuff was never used, the server I set up was finally taken down a month ago. The gratitude you get when not hacking together some absolute shit that causes problems when you don't add <br/> tags at the correct places to prevent an ugly overflow, cause the coworker was too lazy to implement some form of line wrap in the launcher. I'm not saying my stuff is the best of the best, but at least it was professional looking to a certain extent.8