Anything by Atlassian, their software feels slow and bloated

A programmer puts two glasses on his bedside table before going to sleep. A full one, in case he gets thirsty, and an empty one, in case he doesn't.

Anyone ever drunk programmed cause your life us so fucked 😂

No QA Steve I will not insert a massive feature into the project no matter how high of an importance you deem it or how awesome you think it is.

The great thing about version control is that you can seamlessly work alongside other coders through the use of dozens of diverged and cryptically named branches.

Merry Gitmas! 🎄🎉

If we ever colonize Mars or if we even go further I am already feeling sorry for the poor bloke that will have to work on DateTime library.

- Morning
Restart is required to install updates. "hmm shouldn't take much"
- Breakfast
- Graduated
- My kids are playing outside
#PC is still updating

Debuging 101

1 You open the project.
2 Run the app and replicate the bug.
3 Stop the app.
4 Stare at your code for like 15 mins and change nothing.

5 you re-run the app and hopes that it would fix on its own even if you didnt do anything.

"I wrote the code, I have to maintain the code, I wont need any comments"

*some months later*