Things that motivate me.
3. Money
2. The chance to make the world a better place
1. The desire to get a Penguin pet for my DevRants profile.

Web Developer meme

iOS Programming:

something.openCamera()

DONE!

—-

Android Programming:

val jobProcessorHandler = FuckingBuilder.something().inject().whatTheFuck()
val cameraDecoderFuck = Camera(CodePackFuck.shit, jobProcessorHandler)

CRASH!

Estimating the task. A total of... 2 months.

Other guy: I think we should squeeze it to 1 month.
Others: I think we should squeeze it in 2 weeks to meet the deadline..

Deadline: 2 weeks
Progress:25%

Never back down

"Can you give an example of a work-based conflict you were involved in, and how you went about resolving it?"

"Heh, ohhhh yes. Last job actually. Manager flipped out at me for the billionth time for no reason at all. I calmly handed my notice in, changed a bunch of encryption keys and disabled a bunch of users on the server before leaving and never looking back."

"Wow. Seriously?!"

"Absolutely. I'm very forward-looking."

Still no idea if the guy just decided to turn up to the interview to waste our time, or he really was stupid enough to think that was a positive.

This is what happens every time I look at Microsoft’s C# docs after someone tells me to