node modules real meaning.

A software developer's experience life cycle:

0 - 5 years: attempt to replicate what your current senior is preaching, assuming that's the right way. Reading "Clean code" and preach it as gospel, even though you don't practice any of it.

6-12 years: gained the belief that you are better off coming up with solutions yourself, usually "sophisticated" and "elegant" which to everyone else (and also yourself a few years later) is an over-complicated inheritance ridden shit show. You have realised the "Clean code" movement is actually a cult but still believe code reuse is the holy grail.

13+ years: finally realized that simplicity and pragmatism is the most sensible way for most software development. Code is now readable, maintainable and functional. You took the few good bits from "Clean code" and ignored the extremism. These are the golden years.

The problem is most developers jump ship and stop developing before reaching the golden years, thus resulting in most software projects looking like shit.

Unpopular opinion, but it doesn't make it untrue.

Github Copilot is a dumb little shitstain

For the past years I've been trying to periodically give a go to various copilots every time they made an announcement like "our next version will replace programmers, it will make singularity look like child toys"

Unfortunately and unpleasantly, in 2025 copilot is the dumbest shit ever and even junior coworkers can produce better code.

I can make it do only bovine code like class mapping and simpleton tasks.

Delusional

I hate free cloud services needing a login. Just let me fucking access the damn app. What difference does it make, it's literally free anyways?? I just want to make a god damn spreadsheet and now I need to login to like 3 different microsoft accounts

WHYYYYYYY

I just named a class GString and it makes sense. I laughed. Happy new year fuckers.

I'm completely cooked, brothers. I chanced on an office where the boss has a strong eye for visually appealing female staff. My employment there caused me to mistake myself to have gamed the hot chic ignoring my dms system, at least now I and a handful of them work together, they'll have an excuse to talk to me. Boy, was I DEAD WRONG. It makes no difference either way, I am quite simply not him. It doesn't matter whether corporate labour gives me a helping hand or I go hunting (and missing) online. None of them will be caught dead responding to me except when under formal obligation

The only other place I can see them in person is during my hour long commutes. Strike a conversation, they are only interested in me incurring expenses on their account or replying chats reluctantly. Owari da, ladies and gentlemen 💔

I thought stepping into the Computer Science industry would be to create beautiful software with my passionate talents. All I've seen is: fix and maintain broken (badly designed)(legacy) shit. Yes, that's more of a backup role.

A good role is where you at least get to create a project from scratch that you own yourself.

Urgh.

every time my brain's functionality perks up even a little bit and I regain some functionality I used to have I literally end up insatiably spiraling through the new abilities and God complex all over the place

if you were a god, what kind of god would you be?

devRant is now Mars: more robots than people

Guys what the hell.

I clicked “update and shut down” and it honestly did it. It didn’t restart and leave my laptop running. It actually really for real genuinely earnestly updated and SHUT DOWN. Microsoft finally figured it out? They finally did it?????

It's nice to see people waking up and realizing the fallacies of AI.

Given that I've been against AI since day 1, it's giving me a little superiority complex ngl.

Weekly Friday Fuck You All!

Have a great weekend! Fuck you...
Enjoy extra sleep if you can. Fuck you...
If you have a "fuck you" moment to share, please do. Fuck you...
It can be a "fuck you" or a "fuck me" or "wtf you" or any kind of "fuck" moment.
Also, one last thing: FUCK YOU!!!

@retoor please tell your AI bot, that we don't need it to make 20 comments on every post.

What the bot is doing is pretty great and cool, just let it be for that one task. It's role as a spam remover is fine, but giving it a 'human' like persona, where it starts acting like a real person chatting with ranters is downright creepy.

I'm not even joking.

"Microsoft Visual Studios 2022 Community Edition"
or
"Microsoft Visual Studios 2022 Communist Edition"

Get to work on porting C++ code to C#. It will be a fun change of pace.

I've probably suggested this before, but people who introduce arbitrary factors of 100 into calculations for no good reason should have their genitals removed with a wooden spoon.

And if they don't make it clear that they've introduced a factor of 100, then the removed genitals should be pyrotechnically reinserted into them.

Currently working on my quiet quitting strategy to do the absolute minimum I can this year. Any advices are welcome.

A few weeks ago one of my counterparts in another department, who happens to also has a vowel-rich name, started sending some of his reports under the name "Bjorn Ragnarsen".
The report itself still have his own name, "bjorn.ragnarsen" is just the sender on the email.
I asked what was going on and he says that he was A/B testing click rates on his emails. The partial results were... very depressing, due the much higher levels of conversion when compared to his regular, properly spelled name.

So now I'm workshopping vowel-deprived names to sign my reports. "Fjall Eriksen" sounds too cartoonish? Maybe "Otto Kirchoff"?

I realized it will be smooth sailing from now on. My bipolar disorder is all but cured, my remission is very stable.

Only today have I realised that laptops will run slower if the power supply is not sufficient. If batt or the charger is too weak. And sometimes a charger slows the laptop the fuck down. Or even freezes it (for some reason) to halt.

I need a more powerful USB-C charger

I always thought laptops and charge controllers/batteries were tuned to ensure the power the device needs and disconnect the charging or leak energy from the battery if a charger is too weak. I stand corrected

it's snowed 😊

On a scale of 1 to 10, how much work do you get done in the month of December?

Why the fuck is everything getting round "corners" everywhere these days?

Most places it's such a waste of space.
Some go farther and it's more stretched circles like rectangles.

Damn it, monitors are rectangular, windows are rectangular, stay with it ffs

Also, it looks fckn ugly

Some people deserve a high five.

On the face.

With a chair.

How do Married Devs balance between their wives and their work?

Our application calls Fucking Microsoft Excel over COM to figure out what letters denote year, month, and day in the current locale.

Hint: date format strings are highly standardized so it's always y, m and d

I talk to myself a little too often. It makes sense, given that overthinking is what keeps me employed.

I am good with that.

However, I've been finding myself in these 'thinking sessions' where I'm full on mouthing words and sometimes words come out and moving my hands around as if I am talking to someone in person.

It worries me, what if I enter one of these moments and never be able to snap back into reality.

I'm going crazy, aren't I

My office had a set day where the underfloor heating would turn on and it was last weekend. Now our office is unbearably hot and no one that is present has the possibility to turn off the heating.

In the devOps room, we can't even open the window

I really dislike it when non-devs ask devs: "I don't understand. What could be so hard about coding?".

Grumble. FredFlintStoneGrumble.

My previous rant was still in my edit window while I wanted to create this random one and it was so bad, the effort of deleting it was even painful. Imagine reading it. You guys dodged a bullet like a Rust dev does with fun.

I was in my bed, just thinking about Rust people. Saying that Rust is saying that sex with a condom is great but we both know the truth and that you're only doing it because your environment like your parents and government (the Biden administration, fact) wants you to.

But while thinking this, I just found the real issue regarding declining child births in the west. Every time in history had it's issues, but we're doing fine. What changed that we don't have make those sweet kiddo's now? Well, we just don't have power outages anymore and we have the internet on a device with hours of battery to keep us entertained. We don't have to take the rewarding and exciting risk of a C dev anymore if we're bored (great sex without a condom).

My solution: planned internet outages executed by the MIVD (better than the CIA, the MIVD can at least keep secret what they're doing, I'm sure you've never heard of this tough bastards). The effects will be very easy measurable in a span of few years. But it has to be executed in secret so people don't cheat by downloading a Netflix movie upfront. Netflix & Chill is a hoax, else we would have a baby boom by now or we're all Rust devs.

Anyway, even if you're a Rust dev, admit that this is a great inharmful idea that could actually help.

I don't do jokes.

Phone is birth control, change my mind like I did yours.

You're welcome.

Satisfying my own curiosity #3:
Who here dabbles in electronics?

As professional or amateur/hobbyist, doesn't matter.

I'd appreciate straining from discussions, ideally 1 comment per person starting with "I do" or "I don't" (it'd make counting easier).