When you have to write methods that can only be used in a specific way only just to make sure your coworkers aren't fucking shit up.

Ah good ol' refactoring summer.

*Me starts refactoring spaghetti bolognese*

- Hurrah everything can be generic and so much better. I'll just do this and this and this and this, oh and this also needs to be reworked cuz of this.

8 hours later.

- it wasn't that bad!

$ git status

- oh god

$ dotnet test

- welp.... I need something to do tomorrow.

When you know for sure you fixed a bug but client still say its not working.

When I joined my team in august as a junior/trainee, we were 6 developers.

Now we are 4 left in the team.

By the end of june, we are 1.. I mean its me, myself and I.

Wtf did I do!? My code isnt that spaghetti. I think...

But its np, just me with a 20 years old database, 7 legacy systems and a new one planned.

Atleast my boss believes in me keeping this shit floating.

When your team can't change from the oracle database because the dba team will be out jobs and database links will be lost (people havent heard of apis)... :feelsoracleman:

Today the DBA-team (needed to keep our Oracle mess running) decided to change datatypes in tables that has been in production for 20 years. Without a headsup.

Great success!
Just took us 5 hours to debug good ol' visual basic code......
Why would you do such a thing!?

The hardest part about my new job is to install Oracle db. My god.

Try number 10....

I'm currently developing an integration to an API and I found out a bug.

So I asked the contact person for the API if this feature was intentional. I did this on their forum for the API and I sent it as a private message to him.

I got a response telling me that they dont have the "sufficient details" to answer my question and that they would investigate the feature "comprehensivley".

5 minutes later I see a post on the forum in the developer section from the contact dude and it was my fucking question.

So now he's asking the users of the API if his and his companys own bug is intentional.
What the actual fuck?!
Is this how you investigate things "comprehensivley"?

When you commit "removed unused imports" because you have no idea what you did.

and then you actually find a unused import... Better commit again!

The more stickerz the better, right!?

In Sweden the word for computer is "dator" and the word for data is "data".

However "data" is commonly used as slang for computer by muggles. So when people tell me that they have problems with their "data" I always get the wtf face.

Teacher asks the class:
"How do you become a good developer?"

All the students starts talking about algorithms, problem solving or working in a team.

He nods and starts writing on the board. w w w. g o o g l e . c o m
He then leaves the classroom.

So here I am years later, a master googler and a expert stack overflower.