My life hurts when I have to develop on someone else's computer and they use the "light-theme". #teamdarkside

Team work!

This is what happens when we connect to each others team viewer simultaneously.... INCEPTION

Don't let your team working be like this:

Monday:
Frontend: Hey, is the API ready?
Backend: Sure, will give you later

Tuesday:
Frontend: @backend, is the API ready?
Backend: yeah, yeah, will give you later, yesturday is busy.

Wednesday:
Frontend: @backend, is it ready?
Backend: Been working on some prd bugs, will give you later

Thursday:
Frontend: @backend...
Backend: ...

Friday:
Frontend: @backend...
Backend: Oh, I just find out that you should ask @backend_b for this API...

(I was actually trying to get my avatar, but this story is real)

Since past two-three years, Indian Government has been organizing a Hackathon called Smart India Hackathon for college students. And Luckily our team was selected this year.

This team had 5 Electronics Student and 1 Computer Student. Guess who the Computer Student was? Yea, Me.

They Knew nothing about Android Development. And the idea was about an Android Development. I was the only person who could code.

The centre for our hackathon was Varanasi and we live in Hyderabad. So we had to go there. I have not really travelled a lot in the trains (especially not this far from Hyderabad to Varanasi ). During the whole 37 hours journey, I was not able to sleep cause I am not accustomed to sleeping on a train.

The moment we reached Varanasi the hackathon had started which was 36 hours long. Normally team members switch places so that they can sleep but not ours. Cause I was the only one coding and it had to be done in this 36 hours. So add this up 36+36 hours of no sleep, I must have rarely slept for 3-4 hours in that 72 hours.

After the hackathon, I slept like a Snorlax whereas the other went for a trip around Varanasi ('_')

Shout out to devs who put comments in your code I'm so done with my team rn

Also we have slack for a reason stop texting me to update everyone on changes...

When you leave coders to do their own thing
Src:commitstrip.com

Senior Dev: "Be mindful of what you email to the team, some may be rubbed the wrong way."

Me: "I'm going on a year, I figured it was okay to send a meme when appropriate like [the other guy]."

Senior Dev: "Well, [the other guy] has been here for 17 years, so it's sort of expected from him."

Me: "You know what would be weird? If I was here for 17 more years and then 'started' having fun with the team."

Senior Dev: "Yes, but [the other guy] is the only one doing his particular job, which makes him important, so he tends to get away with more."

Me: "No, I get it. If you're a linchpin you can reply with cat memes, but people like me need to mind their place."

Senior Dev: "It's an uncomfortable conversation, but it's all bureaucracy."

Me: "Duly noted. But could you please forward me the specific email I sent that caused the concern?"

Senior Dev: "I'm not sure what the exact email was, when it was sent, or specifically whom it offended."

Me: "Okay, because that would be like me walking up to you and saying that you have a problem that needs to be fixed, but I don't know what your problem is or why it needs to be addressed."

Senior Dev: "You're right, but just be mindful of the emails you send outside of the group."

Me: "I've never group-emailed anything outside of the team."

Senior Dev: "Well, I'll let you get back to work..."

[FML!] 🤦‍♂️

Working alone is great. You won't have to deal with others shit coding and others won't have to handle your shit coding.

Code free, code alone!

Meeting with commercial, wish me luck

This is why I love working where I work. I worked extra hours until 9pm to get an ITest environment ready for one of my customer teams. I came in this morning to a little prezzie and a thank you card signed by the entire customer team. This is what awesome culture looks like.

I went out of office for a while, and when I was going to sit on my desk, a co-worker said me “Elizadeath, the boss wanna talk with you”. I was concerned, I though “maybe something broke in production code, or they need an urgent code, I don’t know”.

Well, that wasn’t what I expected.
“Elizadeath” she said “I’m seriously worry about you. I saw the plastic bottles our team has collected for the recyling project, and I realized that most of the Coca-Cola bottles came from you!”

Yes, it was a Coca-cola addiction intervention 😂 I’m drinking more water and less coke from now, for my health 😊

"Next time, well do it properly from the start." - Every team, at the end of every project.

ah the family..

When the Sales team fucks up something, they point finger at each other for the blame.

When the Dev Team fucks up something, as a Senior Developer I say to my Boss that we fucked it up no matter whose fault it is and we will fix it up by x time.

When the SysAdmin team fucks. The Dev Team is to blame.

Sorry guys, I got a bit frustrated. All our servers wasn't backed up from last week and the SysAdmin guys are saying it's our fault.

What the fuck is going on? fuck you fuck fuck fuck fuck...

Was asked to check the sales team server as it was running slow.
Apart from redundant processes and users with too much permissions I found a "Cobol" folder under one of the sales team member's home folder.

If it weren't the sales people I would immediately disregard this as trolling but with them it's quite possible that this is a real attempt to learn programming...
...most likely from the facebook ads with the hooded guys that offer to teach you to code in 10 days for $800.

Hai devs!
Team devRant here.

Some sad news, my teammate can't participate for reasons I don't need to disclose.
I'm not stopping though, I'm going in alone! (Or well, physically).

I'll post the link to the updates (and more) site later on but the important part:

It starts at 12pm EU/Amsterdam time and stops tomorrow at that same time!

Working on a livestream =)

Cheers!

FUCK GOOGLE.

FUCK THE GOOGLE PLAY REVIEW TEAM.

FUCK THEIR BOT GENERATED EMAILS.

FUCK THEIR DEVELOPER SUPPORT.

I am trying to launch a fucking action game. There will be fucking guns and muzzle flashes shown in the screenshots. Stop fucking rejecting the app. There is no blood in the icon or screenshots. Stop sending me bot generated emails and tell me what content is being flagged.

A little information on the whole scenario: My game was rejected so immediately I contacted the support as to what was the issue. The guy told me 2 screenshots were flagged because they had the muzzle flashes and damage indicator (call of duty type which tells the direction from where the bullets are coming from). So I removed the screenshots and still the game was rejected. FUCK THESE ASSHOLES. SAME GOES FOR APPLE.

The 4 stages of collaboration:

- Stage1:
Hey dude, I setup some online docs and left some instructions / discussion points in slack, but you haven't been logged in. Can you login and have a look when you get a chance?

- Stage 2:
Oh Hey, did you ever get a chance to have a look at those docs / discussion points?

- Stage 3:
Hey, look this is due by close of business tomorrow, can you take spend an hour on it before you leave?

- Stage 4:
*loads shotgun* HEY YOU! ... sit here, login to that ..... STOP CRYING AND HURRY UP ..... see that right there? thats missing your input, you have 15 minutes left ... GO!

I'm fast approaching stage 4 and loading my efficiency shotgun as we speak.

When your brain only functions at night and morning meetings with your team make you look like you never coded in your life.

Never, ever, ever, release on a Friday. But.....
if you do.
Add this step as part of your production push process.

PM: I spoke with x client, they really like x feature and want to continue.
Me: great, I'll let the team know.
PM: Yeah, I told your team already.
Me: Oh. What did they say?
PM: They all told me to tell you first, so you can tell them.
Me: 😏

Mobile app crashed a lot after latest release. Everyone called for a meeting to discuss the issue and find resolutions.

Engineering lead for backend team: well part of our problem is we haven’t had time to test everything fully. Maybe product could give us a list of all the features that can’t go down and we’ll prioritize those for testing?

Product: ... ... ... all of them?

Me: laughing hysterically while on mute

This is how team members coordinates on project 😜

Had a PM in my programming class say "I want to understand what my team is going through, so I want to learn to code and the like, really to be a jack of all trades to better myself and my team" 👏 I respect that.

I can't name one specific time that was the best memory per say. My team is super close - we get lunch almost every day, have (inappropriate) inside jokes and just act dumb together. Not one person on my team who doesn't fit in. Even our boss is cool. :) #LoveMyTeam

When you group asks you to write some code to kick two people out of the team randomly.... and you are one of them :(

Hello again devs!

The hackathon where team devRant is going to participate is only one day out!

Today will be a lot of preparations, buying foods, caffeine (will need that for staying awake for about 40 hours approx), sports (promised this guy so this is gonna be fun). And last but not least, today I'll hear what the thing we're going to have to program is (a rough summary)!

The status/vlog page is nearly finished so I'll be statussing and vlogging tomorrow.

If anyone has any ideas as for the status page etc, please shoot away, there's going to be a chatish thingy as well =).

When I joined my team in august as a junior/trainee, we were 6 developers.

Now we are 4 left in the team.

By the end of june, we are 1.. I mean its me, myself and I.

Wtf did I do!? My code isnt that spaghetti. I think...

But its np, just me with a 20 years old database, 7 legacy systems and a new one planned.

Atleast my boss believes in me keeping this shit floating.

Hello devRant and devs!

Next week I am going to attend to a hackathon organised by my study (24 hours) and me and another guy are going together (or, maybe one more person but not sure yet).

We are going as: team devRant!

My idea is to at least do a quick status update/vlog every x hours and maybe a webpage where I update peoples but I was wondering if anyone here would like to see the event, see the updates/vlog stuffs or maybe not at all?

It will also be live streamed onto the internet!

Would like to hear your opinions on this =).

One of the dev in my team literally asked us (other student devs, professor, and a guy from the company we were working with) this question during a weekly scrum meeting:

"Who is this Jason you guys keep talking about? He never showed up to any of our meetings!".

A bit of context: we were 6 weeks (halfway) into our FINAL YEAR PROJECT for a bachelor in software engineering...

I thought at first he was joking...

Asked my boss if I could get a promotion... He said I will get the job I deserve and make me CNEO.
When I asked what this is about, he said "Chief Nullpointer Exception Officer"....

My team lead force pushed to master. This guys always complains when we merge PRs with wip or fixup commits and he just did it himself and tried to cover it up doing a rebase on the master branch.

Good job fucking up everyone. 👍

A: Can you tell me your opinion about this? Please, be honest.
Me: Ok, I think you could do it in a different way, but let's talk about what you did and see how to make it better...
A: I don't think so, I think this is the best way to do it.
Me: Oh, OK.
A: Why are you always complaining about my job?
Me: Well, you just asked me, and I work on this too, so I thought...
A: I don't think you're collaborative enough with me!
Me [walking away]: Oh, OK...

Any fellow devs located in or near Western Massachusetts??? I have been flying solo the last several months building, designing, and writing literally EVERYTHING for a massive start up company, and after about 4 months its getting close to launch. Nothing is on fire or anything like that, I just need someone to join my team because I've been pulling 80+ hour weeks since October building 3 cross platform apps along with a complex backend, a desktop application, the website, and a shit ton more. I'm killing it for sure, and have us about 2 months ahead of schedule- bit if I sleep for even an hour I lose a week! I don't even care if it's someone just starting off, I'll train the shit out of them on the technology needed to keep those deadlines at bay!!!!

Need to think a different way to motivate GoLang team ;)

Team leader: hey why this bug is taking too much time? You could fix it hours ago let me try to fix it. I really fuckin hate juniors ...

*Hours later*
Me: could you fix it ?

Team leader: ....

*Couple of years later*

Me: ah i see it's not an easy but could you find any solution bro?

Team leader: no it's not a straight forward bug. You are right am sorry i shouldn't prejudge

No mate, pair programming is not me programming and you not doing nothing...

Got an email...
Colleague A (who acts like he supervises me because he's here longer than than I am but he doesn't) : Webpage is broken. Please fix.
(5 minutes later)
Colleague A : Sorry I didn't pull the *other* file you committed (Yeah I know we're still on cvs...)

Another email...
Colleague B (who really is my boss) : Webpage doesn't show all records. Please fix.
(5 minutes later)
Colleague B : Sorry I forgot check page 2.

That's all my development team. Right, development, not designers, or anything.

FML...

So our team went out on a lunch today.
Now because we are mostly developers (talk less bullshit and code more) we were quite uncomfortable sitting next to each other without a laptop.

Yeah, it was pretty awkward.

I always hated those challenges...

Help my team get a new token for the stand ups... We are thinking about something more orange...

We have 1 guy managing everything. He develop our CMS, customers email client, manage our network, servers, domains (our own domain servers), billing system, SSL certificates... In short: everything (as well as bugs). The entire company relies on 1 guy, pretty much.
Brings the phrase "all for one, and one for all" to a whole new meaning.

Submitted my last pull request, said farewell to my team today... *weeping*... haven't realized it would be so hard. Oh, well, best of luck my friends, and keep my code running ;)

Post Anger Rant (Beware, Long rant ahead)

So there is this project we have been working for months, most of the devs involved are jr students so I was leading them in the architecture and what to do and they were doing it, the progress was slow but safe and fun.

On the team there was this guy, someone I trusted and in who I had special interest for his skills, so I let him own the github repo.

So the day of the first demo I pull the backend changes ( I had been working on front end ) and I realize that the code was different, so I started using my super awesome forensic skills to find what happened,and when I say different I mean a totally different architecture different database connections, different service pirts, basically other project, so during my criminal investigation I found out this guy I trusted had never really worked with us, from the beginning he went solo working on his own project and changing everything because of some tutorial he found on the internet, so I decided to reset to the previous version just to find out that he had already deployed the code and that a lot of fixes that we should have were only on his version.

So I went and confront him telling him that he did wrong and he had to learn team work and that I was trying to teach them good practices and he waits and asks me "so, my code was wrong?" Seriously what da hell dude? I'm talking about team work and all you can think about is your code.

Finally he admitted his mistake and repented (I think), but seriously how arrogant must you be to ignore a whole team, specially when on your first real project.

git commit -am "doing work of <team_mate_name>"

Today a new person joined the team.

Started bitching about the entire team for not having documentation for our already written code and software.

Asks the manager for a new task that he can take up so that he can write documentation for all our already coded works.

Manager says Go On.

Troubles me with 400 questions every 3 minutes in the name of Knowledge Transfer for writing his documentation.

Sends a proud mail to the team for writing this new documentation that no one else had time to do.
He is a newbie and had no other task to do anyway.

I seriously don't know if I should feel proud of him, for writing new documentation,
Or if he's doing this to defame me.

The team is filled with snakes.

One among the poor team member!!!

Best debuggin' team. You have a better team?

Team meeting in 25min

I am DONE with this woman.

Background: we're a team of 3 developers and I'm the junior in this team and I've been in this shit for a year now. 2 months ago the team leader left for another project and I had to stand in for him in every responsibility against the PM and other teams.

Now I not only had to endure this insecure woman but I was also supposed to work with her! Fast-forward to today, the team leader is back and I thought I could put my headphones on and work peacefully at last.

But no!

I've found out she's sent a faulty code to production - no big deal - and said that over chat (although she's sitting right behind me):

Me: We need to fix this.
Her: What?

Me: *giving some details about the issue*
Her: Your attitude is important when you ask me to do something. Whenever you're writing to me you're typing on your keyboard like you're going to break it on my head.

*me not knowing what to say at this point because we had something stupid like this before*

Me: So you're offended by the sound my keyboard makes? (I have mx brown switches by the way and they're not even loud)
Her: No you're typing too fast when you're writing to me. The sound echoes in the office.
...

Can you fucking believe this shit? I hate people that think they can educate me but have no idea how to rationally respond to situations and take responsibility! I didn't even say anything!

And she's been saying to me she hadn't had a problem with any other people for gazillion years who knows how long and why would she cause a problem now! And thinks I am the problem, fuck YOU!

Since you don't like receiving orders why hadn't you taken the place when the fucking guy went for another project but I had to take all the responsibility? I know why you fucking entitled bitch.

Because you HAD NO IDEA AND YOU STILL DON'T.

So shut the fuck up and do as I say.

Kind regards

Time for dinner with the 5024 programming team

"No time for automated tests, we've got too much testing to do..."

So after a llllllloooooonnnnnnngggggg struggle with the team i've been working with, today is the day that my group move to a different org and start working with a different team.

This is a huge step in the right direction for us and we are so happy. This new team is much bigger, but has been around for a lot longer and has proper processes in place and works a lot smoother. Never going to be perfect, but still going to be much more workable and we are so ...... thats an interesting linter file, hhhmmm they have disabled all the checks for the stuff that will cause crashes, like force unwrapping ... but they've enabled the rule to make sure our imports are sorted alphabetically

... nope, cant do it, no sign of intelligent life in this company at all. linkedin here I come.

He fails at managing his time and can't finish his tasks in work days ... suggests to work on the weekend and drags the whole team with him.

Sorry mate, but I ain't fucking working on weekend !

Team lead my ass 😡😡

Client asks for website and budget very low and wants a form with dB. Think WordPress site is a solution. Build site.
Deliver site.
Client's IT team unable to deploy on server. They blame me for bad "code".
I have to go to their office and help them deploy on local machine using WAMP.
2 days and 100s of calls later, website installed on test server. Works fine.
All is well

Our team does not believe in keeping a documentation.

Says a guy after a major issue that was 95% caused by lack of any documentation.

Anyone work with other developers who take 3 times as long as you to do things, spend all day talking, get nothing done, so you have to pick up the slack? Fucking annoying.

Debugging a system error with a good team of fellow developers/devops people is fun.

We had an issue on Friday where we were getting a pretty cryptic error in our error reporting system. A couple of developers and I got together with a couple of devops people and we worked it out well as a team and figured out a pretty complex issue in a reasonable amount of time with everyone playing a solid role.

Nobody tried to steal the show and everyone listened to each other's ideas on what the problem might be. Through and through a great debugging session and made me think about bad ones and good ones I've had in the past.

Hackathon rant.
So I had my first hackathon ever.
It was about co2 reduction which is pretty neat but our team leader had a different view on this. He only saw money in his idea so we build a smart energy meter that advised the user on how he should control his energy. And if the user had solarpanels or something his overtake of energy would be converted into a crypto currency and transferred by our Blockchain system.

The idea is pretty cool but it had no real co2 reduction and way too customer based. Which kinda sucked for my first hackathon but our business guy gave a amazing overwhelming pitch about stuff we didn't make at all. And somehow we ended up on the third place yay

It took 2 fucking days for the network team to assign permission to my username to access 2 x dedicated servers on the network.

Like dude WTF, it's a 5 (max) minute job. I'm not judging just saying.

Company: our team is like a family, everyone is valued and respected

Reality: We have a predefined power structure that will not be challenged no matter what. This is not a democracy, it's a dictatorship.

This is my classmate's team name

No copyright infringement intended

I hate the dumbass people that send on slack: "good morning", "good afternoon" or "how are you?" and do not say anything until I reply. If you do this FUCK YOU!! Just ask the fucking question. Now I just ignore everybody until the question is made

Seeing on some other posts I wanted to rant about my uni’s computer science community.

Some background: This is a small uni, not like a community college definitely a little bigger. Located somewhere in WV. There is 2-4 girls in every CS class I have had and at least 27-30 guys.

The reason why I mention this is because there is no sense of team work at all. When it comes to exams or projects I take the initiative and make either quizlets (being freaking nice here) share them or take times after school in the library to work on projects. If I have a solution I will share it, I will try to help you in your problem. If I know how to do it of course.

The real issue is all those CS experts that already fixed or finished their programs, the ones on the top of the class. Is as if the moment I ask something related to the project I am already dumb for not have figured it out on my own.

There is the typical CS student that just tries and gives up or just gives up without trying and the other kind of CS student that does that. Doesn’t help anybody else, wants to be on the top all the time.

What I am trying to say here is that it just feels like a competition all the time. (I consider myself in between this two types of students cause I wasn’t born a genius but I do try my ass off on projects) however, I feel like guys see me every new semester in a CS class and think “oh wow how is she still here? Wait did she pass?”

All I say is “yeah I fucking did, with a C or B but here”. So I don’t know, first rant posted 👏🏽🙆🏽‍♀️

Just joined this Linux Development Team Xenta OS, it originated in my country, Im asking for a favor to check it out and seeing what needs improvements...

If you are curious and want to help out , check it out in 'xentaos.org'

TEAM is the magic word:
T – Teach.
E – Educate.
A – And.
M – Motivate.

When you co-worker gets screwed because of your code.

I definitly need my own wifi...

Soft rant...
So I'm working at the company for 8 months now. Best 8 months in my career, great team mates, great work, the best - a team leader who is one of the best developers I've ever worked with, but more importantly he is a good friend, brother like. We had great time, from the interview we understood there is a bro-mance there.

So why am I ranting? He got promoted and became a group leader, not even of my group. Now we don't have a TL and we're afraid they won't be able to get a swell guy like our exTL

I got the task to set up an NAS, because "server has too high maintenance costs".
I built two databases for this company and the big boss loved my work. (spoiler:not because my work was outstanding but because I, as a student, am cheap and willing to learn).
And now? Reality hit me for good. I looked for a enterprise worthy NAS solution, sent them the details, they bought it and now it's 00:00 in Germany and I'm sitting in the empty hall, trying to configure the storage to work like they want it. On a friday. Alone. As the only member of the IT-team. With way to much responsibility.

So... Yea, fuck you for good. I hope your backup gets an disk error at the same moment i quit. (but first gimme mah monney)

God, don't you love it when your team COMPLETELY IGNORES all the work you do, dismisses it outright, and then acts rude to you? And then when they do take one of your suggestions, they say 'wow you ACTUALLY contributed' as if you haven't been trying to contribute the whole time only to get ignored?!

I walk into the kickoff meeting today. The first part of this project had 5 developers and a project manager. Former project manager handled communication and sheltered us from bullshit. We built an amazing piece of software in a very short time. Customers were so amazed that they decided to reboot the project, boost the funding by several million, and let us go again. They specifically requested the same team.

Now the team looks like this: the neediest tester guy, a UX lady that doesn't have any UX background, an agile "visionary", a project manager that doesn't understand how development works, a solutions architect, 3 COTS platform specialists, a devops specialist, and an account lead. They have booked all kinds of workshops and other shit to kick things off.

So development capacity is only 60% of what it was. Management ratio was 1:5 before. Now the management ratio is 9:3. The new project manager thinks developers should be on more customer calls and responding to all customer emails during sprints. We already built this system and devops pipelines end to end. The COTS people, solutions architect, or the UX person can't program. They want us to magically convert this custom application into one based on COTS. What we need to do is make the rest of the business processes that we omitted, integrate known feedback, rework the backend, build better automated testing, improve logging and reporting, add another actor to the system, add a different authentication method, and basically work through the massive backlog.

How do they think this is going to work? Do they think we can download a custom engineered enterprise grade software system from Microsoft and double click all the way to customer satisfaction? The licenses alone are too much for the customer on an ongoing cost basis. I guess we can discuss it during the agile team-building weekend at some remote lake that the team "visionary" has set up. For the sake of fuck.

Like development isn't hard enough. Hire two more developers and lose all of the dead weight. Get a project manager that won't let the trivial shit roll down on us. What the fuck.

So I recently had a university project which focuses video game audio. We had to work in groups of 3 students and the task was to create a video game which uses audio as a gameplay mechanic.

Our idea was to create a game where you collect different audio samples which get looped as background music, and you have to select the correct ones to have a nice tune. To make it a bit more challenging we had enemies, guns and grenades plus doors which only open if the correct music is playing.

The guns fire on-beat, and the grenades always explode on the first beat of the next bar.
It was quite challenging to get things synced since even small offsets are noticable.

I wrote some nice code and theoretically it should have worked but for some reason the gun shots and the grenades didn't quite hit the beat of the music.

I tweaked stuff, created workarounds, optimized lot's of code to get execution times down but it still only worked sometimes.

I tweaked more and more only to realize that the timing drifted over time.

At that time I worked 20-30 hours on tweaking and trying to get it perfectly timed.

After recalculating some numbers I realized that all the audio samples are recorded at 135 bpm, but the guys who did the recordings said it was 130bpm.

I asked them if it could be the case that the samples are 135bpm and they said:
"yes, they are at 135 bpm as we told you"

I scrolled back in the telegram conversation only to see that they said 130.
Changing the number to 135 resolved all the problems and all of my workarounds and tweaks weren't needed.

So I worked for nearly 30 hours just because they didn't notice their fault and even when they realized that the timing is off sometimes (which took forever because they never played the game), they didn't even consider that they might have given me the wrong numbers.

This all wouldn't be that bad if both of my teammates had worked for more than 15 hours but they didn't. I did all the hard work and the only single thing they did fucked up my workflow. It fucked up the system I created and it fucked up the gameplay as things got unpredictable. Because of their fucking fault I worked as much as both of them combined IN ADDITION to all the other work I did (built 3 maps, coded everything, created animations, ...)

I love working in teams, but only if the whole team is motivated. Those two fuckers were the exact opposite.
Luckily i found the error so I could fix it, but guess with whom I'll never ever work together again?

Those weeks when you get calls from recruiters offering you up to four times your current salary.

I enjoy my job, love the atmosphere, team spirit, freedom (although sometimes there's a bit too much of this!), but I have a family and am saving to extend our house.

I don't want to let my team down, I'm the only programmer dev in a team of 3 (others do front end web design but not much JS), but sometimes I wonder if I should pursue one of these better offers...

So we have a bug.
Yesterday I spend the morning sorting through other people's code to find out what is causing this bug report it to team leader once I find it. He asks me find out who made it and hunt them down! So git blame... Turns out it was him :S felt awkward mentioning it to him so didn't. 5 minutes later team leader "oh it was me"

is this only happening for independent developers?

That feeling you get when your team is killing a lot of bugs

So my colleagues and I are somewhat great friends. (As in my first rant, I'm a practical evil joke guy). Since our boss thinks we are working on the production server (in reality, he commissioned it to be done in 4 months time. We all got it done in a month.), we get our own little room in the building, each time one of us walks in, we greet each other with a nice "go fuck yourself". Not to be mean, but just as a joke.

I decide to leave the room to go get a drink and I said I would be back. Guess who wants to see the dev team to see where they are on production? Not our boss, the fucking CEO. This isn't a big company, but this definitely was not expected.

So, he walks in and greets the team. He gets greeted with "Go fuck yourself".

I come back to see my team outside, and the CEO asking me why they said that. So after 15 minutes of ass ripping, the CEO leaves, our jobs barely intact, and I get to talk with the team about why we have to be nice to our superiors.

In order to reduce support costs, manager instructed his team to remove all logging/reporting of errors in the company’s CRM application.
Team’s support tickets went down 80%, manager received an award for his efforts, but mysteriously, DBA/support workload increased, bad/missing data,
increased support tickets in other areas of the business (shipping, etc. that relied on correct data from the CRM) and other side-affectual behavior.
Even after pointing this out this correlation, showing before/after code, no one believed the two were related and I was accused of not being a ‘team player’.
“You and the other teams need to learn from his example!”. As ‘punishment’ was I was moved to the team managing the CRM application.

Did this on friday. Now tomorrow is monday.😑

IF YOU UPDATE AN ADM PLATTFORM FOR FUCKS SAKE DON'T DO THE FOLLOWING THINGS:

1. ONLY DOCUMENTATE IT IN A POWERPOINT

2. WRITE DOWN IPs AND PORTS ONLY ON A WHITE-BORD

3. MOVE TOOLS TO OTHER SUBNETS OR DOMAINS WITHOUT PROPERLY KNOWING THE WAYS OF COMMUNICATION BETWEEN THEM

4. USE YOUR PERSONAL EMAIL ADDRESS AS RESET OPTION FOR LICENCE-MANAGEMENT ACCESS IF NO ONE KNOWS THE PW

5. LEAVE THE COMPANY THE DAY AFTER THE UPGRADE IS DONE

Because the guy who has to take care of the upcoming problems is not going to like you!

BUT having to deal with all of this at once would not be a problem if your, so called team (30 People who work with those applications e.g. as test-engineers) would actually work together instead of having that "not my daily business, I am going to drink coffee" attitude.

Apparently I am the only one who has enough balls to see, admit, and report a problem to our leadership.
This always leads to Me fixing the issue...
....that's alright I am learning a lot...
...BUT IF A TEAM-MATE, WHO HAS THE SAME DEGREE AS I AM GOING TO GET, LEAVES EARY BECAUSE: "HE DOES NOT KNOW WHATS WRONG", IT TRIGGERS ME!!!

- The apprenticeship guy

PS Needless to say hundreds of clients have access to those systems and I worked through a shittload of official tool docs just to get to know the tools first...

My team lead be like when we're in a meeting with the boss:

He: I'll have a working session with her, we'll brainstorm on how to come up with a better design and improve such and such feature, once that's done, we would call you to have another meeting.
Boss: sounds good, I'm looking forward to it.
Me: *internally rolls eyes...*
He: thank you everyone.
.
*meeting done*
.
.
.
couple of minutes later, I get a message from him:

He: hey, it turns out I'm busy and I can't have that session with you, do come up with a new idea/design and share it with me.
Me: .... *fuck you, like you didn't know you were busy before making that fake promise*
.
.
.

The fucker will take credit again for things he didn't do.

Got demoted, got a pay raise and don't know how to feel about it. A story of how not to drink with your coworkers?

The story begins roughly 8-9 months ago. Me and this coworker (let's name him Tim) go out drinking after a Friday party at the office. We do some rounds and we're both smashed. Tim starts telling me how he's happy with life and that he's earning a nice salary right now. He told me his salary. It was the same as mine. Which was weird - He codes in a more hardcore languages than me and has almost double the time in the company as me. I think after some more drinking I've confessed that I make the same as him. This part is sort of a blur (drinking). I've gotten a pay raise(+30-40%) roughly a few months ago from that point backwards because another company gave be a much higher offer. The company I work for matched to keep me. Anyway, 3 months or so after the drinking,Tim is promoted to team lead, and me and a few other people are added to his team. Conversation slips and he told me his new salary - quite a bit more than me.I think it's safe to assume what happened.

The problem with that is that I was a team lead of 1 person (me) at that time, and I was managing my own time and my own tasks, was working with people individually. I was part of the weekly meetings with the CEO and other team leads. Being stripped of this title wasn't a problem at the beginning, as people still contacted me because of their problems, suggestions, whatever. A few more months pass (to now) and less and less people are contacting me - instead they are talking with Tim, and are asking of his opinion on tasks I should do, where he has no experience and roughly 0 lines in the programming language I code in. This is starting to piss me off.

There are a couple other things to take into consideration as well - The company is hiring a lot of people right now. The whole structure for team leads changed a bit, more team leads then ever right now and new roles added pretty fast.

I've gotten a pay raise a few weeks ago though(10%~).

I'm not sure on how to react to this. Should I comply and just keep on working on these tasks? Or should I still keep contacting people directly on their requests and talk to them directly, take credit for the projects I complete publicly and the stuff I do as I was previously doing? Part of me wants to reroute all of the stupids questions people have to Tim, as he is now responsible for these tasks and get this weight off my shoulders.

I'm starting to shift to learning a new programming language and thinking of jumping ship. Thoughts?

This is PART 1/2 of a series of rants over the course of a software engineering class years ago.

We were four team members, two had never failed a class, I’ll refer to them as MT and FT, male and female top students, respectively, and an older student with some real world experience who I’ll refer to as SR.

Rant 1: As I was familiar with the agile methodologies I became the Scrum Master and was set with the task of explaining it to the team members, SR showed up late and nobody seemed interested in learning new methodology. At this point I knew we'd have trouble as a team.

Rant 2: FT made up her project proposal without informing anybody, which required a real client/product owner. We only figured it out after her proposal was accepted as the project, so we ended up working with fake requirements.

Rant 3: This one is partly my fault. I researched first and then worked, which meant I was the last to turn up my work. In one activity MT pressures me and I agree to a deadline so everyone can send their work to the teacher in a timely manner. Since I was the last to finish, I was also asked to give the doc some formatting, which I did in a hurry so it wasn't the best.
The next day MT and FT start complaining about me, saying I took too long and that they expect me to do better next time or else. At the same time they were stressed and in a hurry because we had to explain the project outline in front of the class and they didn't study.
Turns out copying and pasting all your work in less than an hour means you don’t learn anything. FT actually asked me for help days before and I sent her a website in English, which she wasn't very good at, so she just ran it through Google Translate and called it a day.
Later FT called me rude for interrupting MT in the presentation, which I did because he started making up stuff about the project.

Rant 4: SR expressed his dislike for school through profanity in variable names and commit messages. This caused MT and FT to dislike him. I thought it was immature but if anything it should’ve been reported to the teacher and move on.

Rant 5: I was stuck trying to get the REST API working for the project Admittedly this was my fault, too, because I was pushing for the usage of things nobody was familiar with for the sake of learning. This coupled with SR’s profanity led to drama and the progress was dropped, starting over from scratch.

At this point I stepped down from the Scrum Master role as nobody seemed to listen anymore.

"We're promoting you to be a Team Leader, since you proved your skills to handle tough tasks and bring good solutions, and we're raising your salary by 25%."

That sounded good for me, until I realized that all they need is an interface between them (the boss) and other employees to force their style and monitor every fucking thing that could be different from a dev to another. But since the boss is a sEnIoR with mOrE tHaN 10 years of experience but he does not have any clue about good practices and how to make a code that does not push you to be humiliated by the client, he still thinks that he's the fucking programming God.

That's a shit

When manager scolds you for the team but there was some other lazy ass who didn't put his work in place.

TEAM PROJECTS IN UNIVERSITY BE LIKE:

You will need to write a paragraph of text, approximately 100 words long.

In order to manage your work more effectively, you must split the paragraph into sentences and each one of you should write one.

Make sure you don't clash with each other, the text is meaningful and it flows nicely.

You have one month: you should meet at least twice a week to discuss how to go about the tasks, review your work and plan ahead.

We will be checking on your progress on a weekly basis.

Most importantly, do not just wait until the last minute and have one person do all the work: that's just silly.

Story time!

I moved from React Dev to fullstack like halve a year ago. Three months ago I became project lead and now I will start to become a team lead.

Holy shit I'm growing fast

I've started to do some time tracking and just after one day of doing it I noticed that I can't get more that 10 mins working without someone interrupting me.

I love to help and hate to say no, but this is killing my productivity and delaying my work.

Most of the time my help isn't really needed too. "Did you clear the cache?" "Did you run yarn install after pulling?" "Let me look at the stack trace/error message." Sentences like these are all I need to say most of the time.

Did my coworkers get lazy because I'm there to help? Should I start say "not now" more often? Or should I just look for a better team somewhere else?

Everyone here have experienced this at least one time.

me: *starts receiving emails of clients having technical problems and errors and asking for help* wat, im being flooded with all these mails!
me: *sends email to boss* umm... i think im receiving the wrong mails...
boss: nope! from now on, you'll be in-charge of tech support for our clients. good luck and merry christmas!
me: *dies internally* happy holidays to u too

How do you deal with massively poorly-performing and unknowledgeable teams?

For background, I've been in my current position for ~7 months now.

A new manager joined recently and he's just floored at the reality of the team.

I mean, a large portion of my interview (and his) was the existing manager explicitly warning about how much of a dumpster fire everything is.

But still, nothing prepares you for it.

We're talking things like:
- Sequential integer user ids that are passable as query string args to anonymous endpoints, thus enabling you to view the data read by that view *for any* user.
- God-like lookup tables that all manner of pieces of data are shoved into as a catch-all
- A continued focus on unnecessary stored procedures despite us being a Linq shop
- Complete lack of awareness of SOLID principles
- Actual FUD around the simplest of things like interfaces, inversion of control, dependency injection (and the list goes on).

I've been elevated into this sort of quasi-senior position (in all but title - and salary), and I find myself having to navigate a daily struggle of trying to not have an absolute shit fit every time I have to dive into the depths of some of the code.

Compounded onto that is the knowledge that most of the team are on comparable salaries (within a couple thousand) of mine, purely owing to length of service.

We're talking salaries for mid-senior level devs, for people that at market rates would command no more (if even close) than a junior rate.

The problem is that I'm aware of how bad things are, but then somehow I'm constantly surprised and confronted with ever more insane levels of shitfuckery, and... I'm getting tired.

It's been 7 months, I love the job, I'm working in the charity sector and I love the fact that the things I'm working on are directly improving people's lives, rather than lining some fintech fatcat's pockets.

I guess this was more a rant than a question, and also long time no see...

So my question is this:

- How do you deal with this?
- How do you go on without just dying inside every single day?

What I miss about not being a team lead is how I used to spend all my hours in the office coding. Just coding.

Started a new job and our tech lead doesn't know how to use GIT in a team environment, has only ever used it while working by himself on one person projects. Kinda worried...

So it's been a while since I've posted as my first few months at the new job have been amazing. But now I'm running into issues with a team member that I need to get off my chest.

So my new job is front end development in React. I'm brand new to it but I was promised time to learn on the job. On my first day the team member I'm now having a conflict with offered me help. He's the most experienced so I gladly took it.

But now several months in I've noticed his teaching style doesn't work for me. He'll go into long theoretical explanations whenever I ask a question and I get overwhelmed with info. And he gets frustrated with my inability to process all that, because he feels I waste his time. So frustrated that at one time he just walked out of work and drove home, which was really upsetting to everyone.

My direct manager and my mentor in the company (our software architect), as well as our scrum master (a consultant) are all aware of the conflict. I've been assigned another colleague to help me out. Things were going ok but he got sick so I had to turn back to the team member with the conflict for assistance. Of course frustrations arose again.

Now yesterday during our sprint planning meeting we had to say what we liked and didn't like about the past sprint. And I brought up I feel I need time for learning and that I don't know where to put that, since we don't have a task for it. I said I also felt past approaches weren't working out and that I'd like to take up the offer to go on training. I was trying to word it very neutral to not upset my colleagues, as they tried their best. But the colleague who I had previous conflicts with took it personal and accused me of not listening and that is why my code is awful. While all I've been doing is rely on his code to learn. Long story short it got very heated and direct manager and scrum master who were present had to shut it down.

I'm thinking of talking to my manager and mentor today. It really hurts when you're accused of maliciousness when all you did was try. I know my code isn't perfect. But I get no help in improving it beyond long winded explanations about theory. If I ask for practical help he says he won't write my code for me. Which isn't what I expect. When I say I followed his example he says I shouldn't copy. But two sentences later he says if I don't know what I am doing I should listen to him. It's really very confused and demotivating as a beginner, but he makes it about how I waste his time and ruin his job for him. I understand he tries his best and that it has to be hard when someone seemingly is as dumb as a bag of bricks. But my manager and mentor told me they support me as long as I continue to show improvement. So I asked for alternatives (training, time to study, or whatever I haven't thought of) and now I feel like the bad person. I'm already someone with crippling low self esteem, and I'm thrown into the deep end. It kinda sucks when someone then tells you from the sideline you can't swim and how swimming works. How about tossing me one of those floaty things and then maybe accept I need to hold on to that for a bit and my technique will need work until I can make it on my own? :(

I was contracted for an app (side gig) and told I would have a team working with me. It’s been 5 months and no one else has been hired... At this point, it would probably take 5 more months to explain my shitty code to a new guy.

So first of all I'm not a dev.

I'm a software tester and my test manager is a douche, but this is not it.

Today I went to the end user place along with him to teach them how to test properly and how to manage the software test cycle in JIRA.

I did a demo and showed the users the software the dev team developed and of course there were a lot of rants about it.
Users noted down a list of things to be changed and we kept going.

By the end of the demo, my test manager started discussing the fact that I told these guys to open Bugs without test objects on Jira.

I mean, we don't have a test cycle or test cased yet but these guys found issues already, what's the point?

So here's the funny part.

He then starts telling users (which ignore testing fundaments) to create a test cycle called 'meeting of today dd/mm/yyyy" and create tests below it which were named with the names of who created them.
All of that without a logic and ignoring the fact that these tests were not tests.

I was laughing my ass off while assisting this total mess and I almost lost control.

And this is my manager.

Luckily, tomorrow is Saturday.

Aaaaand my team leader once again worked directly on the DB without touching the code, so I can't reproduce his local DB on my machine.

JUST WHY

Why the hell do I have to keep showing everyone on my team how to use git. Learn it God dammit!!! Is not that hard. How come you freak out on a simple conflict? Why don't you delete your fucking merged branches?

Picture a small product team, the dev side of it has 1 tech lead, 1 recently promoted senior dev, 1 junior dev.

1 - Offer your tech lead a severance package
2 - Hire a mid-level and a junior dev
3 - Give the product lead role to someone in their mid-20s that has no tech or project management background
4 - ???

The next 6 months are going to be interesting ones...

> "you've been slacking off in development go do some damn work"
> 20 commits since yesterday
> guy isn't even the project owner

I have been very inactive in these last couple of months but I really need to rant right now:

I am working on a project, which is also part of a contest, with a few of my friends. I asked one of them to write a bit of code and some documentation about it, here's the result:

He wrote half a page of text with plenty of spelling mistakes and grammatical errors but here comes the even worse part:
Instead of just leaving the code in its own file he copied it into the word (libre office writer) file as well. Now I have got 3 pages of non-indented code with a few comments flying around here and there, weird variable names and a lot of commented out pieces of code.

Bloody hell I feel like I am the only one in this team taking this contest serious.

Real story :

There's this one colleague, who was a very good friend of mine. Always helped me in everything. That one friend in the team, who shares a lot of stuff with you.

And she suddenly, turns offensive when it comes to professional things and mainly competitive stuff in the team.
She becomes a completely different person when I get recognition for something in the team or when I become popular in the team.

She has that feeling that she should always stay in the lime light.
When I steal the show by doing something good, she starts to show faces.
Decided that it is a unhealthy friendship, as the friend i knew is no longer a friend when it comes into professional behavior at work,
And it started reflecting a lot in our personal friendship, outside work too.

Decided to cut the friendship and only be colleagues.

Did the same happen to someone else? Did you lose a friend because of things like this?

I got moved to a new team. My old team was truly agile, and my manager was very "off hands" and actually let us work.

My new team is an older team that practices a bloated abomination called SAFe Agile, and the manager gets into all the details to the point of removing autonomy.

Shoot me please.

Paradise lost.

What's the best scrum team name that you've heard?

My favorite is "Colonel Panic" (Kernel panic)

My lead always steal my work and showcase it has his work to the manager. I always look for a chance to trap him in front of Manager.

One fine day, He gave me an work which has to completed on Monday, I sit over the weekend and finished it’s but partially committed it.

He is a blind thief, As always he says that he himself completed over the weekend.

While running in front of the manager they face huge issues because it’s a half cooked product. Manager purposely sent an email to our team without mentioning the name of my lead.

After few days my lead silently put paper and left the team.

The frustration that comes to each developer when he tries to write the code structured by thinking through each situations, and your team lead comes and tells you why r you doing so much validations just hard code them we need to release it today client is waiting. After 3-4 months the same team lead goes through the code and shouts at you telling why the he'll you hard coded all these, can't you write the code correctly by thinking through.

Thx team ! :D
From USA to France, the stickers have traveled :)

When a customer question gets escalated all the way to the dev team when it could have easily been solved if those escalating the issue had bothered to use the site themselves

Have good coworkers and be a great team.

That moment when you comeback from holidays and you realize that ALL your team still on holidays.

I'm glad I have a job where we don't have team 'building' nonsense. We just come in and we team-build on the spot, as in, we get along.

Oh, the nightmare of my previous job where they resented employees for not joining some stupid party where they all got drunk and had forced 'fun'. I like authentic environments.

Right now I'm implementing forwarding in our application.

Everybody in my team has the opinion, that if you open a not existing url you should be forwarded to the dashboard with response Status 200... 404 with error page would be too confusing for the users... 😩

My favourite type of development is BDUDD.

Blaming Dumb Users Driven Development

How do you deal with team members who's not open to criticisms as a TL

As a senior engineer/team lead. What would you do if you had an engineer on your team who is very difficult and arrogant but very good at their job?

Being a team leader some times sucks have to take responsibility for everyone's elses functionality that doesn't work or wasn't tested in production. Leads often ends up working overtime fixing everyone elses work :(

I accidentically disabled the network adapter from teamviewer - now Im not online 😑

Finally got my devRant Stickers!
Thanks David for fast delivery to Germany!
Hope you guys will remain successful!

-devRant rocks- 😎

Do you agree

So, a company recruted me as an hybrid developer (ionic), they affected me to the mobile team where all they talk about there is either Java or ObjC ... I feel "alone" there, being the only one who knows JS and web techs in general, i sometimes join the web team at lunch time so we can talk in "commun" knowledge in JS frameworks and stuff i know :v

I started my actual gig as CTO of construction group (Innovation Hub) a year ago. And it was a hell of a ride, implementing kind of a scrum-ban for project management, XP, peer-reviews, a git-flow, git commit message formats, linters, unit testing, integration tests, etc...
And it's the fun part because with the CIO we had to drive the board to do A LOT of changes in their IT/Innovation drive.

But in one year there is a lot of KPI that went up :
* Deployment: When I arrived it took three stressful days to deploy a new version of one application, once a month. Today we do it every week, and it takes three annoying hours.
* We had no test. NOTHING! Today we have 85% code coverage for the unit test, and automatic integration tests run by our CI server every day.
* We had almost no documentation. Today our code is our documentation (it automatically extracted and versioned).
* We had 0 add value in the use of git. With commit messages as "dev", "asked task", inside jokes and a lot of "fix" and "changes". Today we have a useful git, and we even use it to create our deploy changelogs (and it's only mildly annoying!).
* More important, the team is happy! They get their purpose, see betterment in their tech mastery. They started doing conception, applicative architecture, presentations, having fun.

There is still a LOT of bad things we are still working on, and trying to solve (support workflow and betterment). But seeing what they already did, I'm so proud of my TEAM! I'm a fucking asshole, workaholic, "just do it" kind of guy. But they managed to achieve so much. Fucking PROUD!!

The iOS team lead stored the price in string format.

Haven't ranted in a while so here it goes.

Head of product took me (senior dev) to a high value client workshop/demo session and over the course of two days found the reason behind why the dev team has been pushed to the limit as of late and sales/product team has been making promises to clients without checking with dev leaders on reasonable delivery dates on massive new features.

I tried my best to manage expectations by differing talking about delivery dates by saying "lets discuss that with the team" rather than giving out dates right now. But as soon as the meeting ends he sends an email to the client confirming delivery dates on features that we have done no research on or even specialize in!

Please tell me this is not how well established businesses work or is that the new reality of things. In either case I wanna find a new job :/

Being a team lead is watching your members grow more and more while you stay out of date because you don’t have any more time to read and learn what’s new

I just found out last Friday that my team collegues (all of them are team leads) are suffering from depression or the so called burn out syndrom. I guess it's my boss' fault. He never gives clear jobs, changes his mind from day to day, we have to manage unclear responsibilities and the baddest thing is that we think that our boss is too stressed out himself.

Do you have any advice for me how we as team could solve that besides changing employer? One thing to mention is, that my boss likes to hear himself talking. That makes it even harder for a guy like myself who is more or less introverted to come up with good arguments which are not overheard or overtalked immediately. What are your feedback strategies to your own boss, how do you bring such stuff on the table?

I fear that when nothing happens, my company will suffer very hard when the whole product engineering departement will fall apart (¼ of the whole company and is responsible for engineering and maintaining of internal services and managed services for our customers).

Well at least it was worth writing about it, maybe my subconcious mind will come up with a brilliant idea itself in the near future in some asynchronous way. But you might be the one with that valuable input, then don't hesitate to share, it will be welcome.

When you get into good company but end up in bad team. Worst thing to happen. I want to quit. But as of now I don't have any option.

I am way too triggered. Any one tries messing with me anymore at work, I won't be able to stop myself. I am gonna shout....take out all my anger. To hell with you assholez! I don't care if you get me kicked out of team or job! I can't take it anymore. FUCKING IDIOTS!!!!!!

Spent 2 days refactoring code written by our "offshore team". I've done refactoring on the same code in the past, probably upto about a week in total of refactoring now. The code looked like it was written by someone who had literally just finished their first "Hello World" app - loads of code blocks copied and pasted instead of declaring reusable functions.
The whole thing should have been done by us in the first place.
And yet our money-conscious company wants to employ more of these developers. Cheaper than us? Sure. Quantity over quality though, but I guess money is all that matters to the big cheese

I love when everybody in a team get along well with each other. Makes us so productive!!

Me and the team I manage after fixing bugs,
Me: hey devXY, please send a build to the QA to test it. I am going to a meeting.

*2 hours later

QA guy: hey, we did not receive any build yet.. we are already out of time..

Me to devXY: hello, why didn't you send a build to QA?

devXY: ok, sending it now.

ME LIKE: WTF!!!

Have to present a school project I've been working in for three weeks with my team.

My part of the presentation is done, my part of the project is done.
The fucking sysadmin doesn't have his fucking part ready...

ALL HE HAD TO DO WAS SET UP A FUCKING WEBSERVER, IMPORT A DATABASE, EDIT THE HOST FILE AND WRITE A SMALL 2 PAGE DOCUMENT ON THE INFRASTRUCTURE.

Each of the 4 "roles" within the project need to present their own part, guess whose part of the presentation isn't there...

I am so fucking done with this guy and 2 others in the team...

I just don't get how you can spend 1000's of € per year on uni and then not take it seriously.

Team member knows x better than me?

No fucking way am I gonna ask them to do it. Even if I have to learn the whole damn thingamajig from scratch. Coffee and some Halo OST are all I need, baby!

(In fairness to myself, said teammate is a bit of a hijacker when it comes to helping...)

I’m starting to flat out not trust my team. Every single time I delegate a task it comes back with massive bugs and features missing.

Our agile scrum team has finally shattered into two parts.
On the one hand we have front-end guys.
On the other hand we have backend- /dev-ops guys.

The FE guys don't care about the BE guys business.
They don't join pairworking and only noticing things that went bad, when a Backend guy has caused it.
Goodbye fullstack dev-ops team...

I really dislike that arrogant basterds.

Frontend Hobo-Bitches...!

Tomorrow starts a new guy in my team (I am TL), but I have never seen him before! 😕

A coworker resigned during the hiring process and has had his last day today and I am overtaking his team because my boss is unable to set up a job profile.

180% of workload and even more new guys arriving (2 more in the next 2 months!)

No salary raise either...

FML

Products team just hit me up with random requirements straight out of their ass. They know very well my entire team is wrapped up building a new app. Now I respond with random mêmes. Fuck you.

Do you guys like working in a team or alone?

That feeling when you're the only one of your team sitting at your desk and you cannot shake of that nagging doubt:

Did I miss a meeting?

I'm a developer, member of the A-Team. Actually I'm the leader of the A-Team.

We are incredibly skilled. Our problem solving capabilities is amazing, almost 100 times more effective than the rest of people. We produce code 10 times faster and better than anybody else. We have THE knowledge.

We can save the company in case of emergency.

For that reason, it's of paramount importance to nurture and protect the A-Team.

- When there is a bug, A-Team will not correct it. Because, if A-Team is busy, and bad shit happens, the company could be destroyed and we couldn't help

- When there is some important features to develop with a deadline, A-Team will not participate: A-Team must stay alert and ready in case of emergency

- If huge catastrophe happens and long hours, night and weekend are needed to fix it, A-Team will not risk burning the A-Team because it's the only high skilled team we have. The company cannot afford to have an A-Team member exhausted, underpaid, unhappy leaving or sleepy. Therefore, the company will sacrifice other less important people.

A-Team is company biggest asset and must be protected in any kind of situations.
The company should also pay training for them in order to increase their skills and make them unreplaceable.

These are my conditions. I'm the leader of the A-Team. You can't afford to loose me.

So how do team leads get away with saying "Hol' up, I ain't technical" when you try to explain something?

I was hired to a working team that is full of experienced people who know how to code but half the team is awfull at solving problems, and all they do is blame each other... why cant they understand we are one team and rather work on solution for 30 minutes they spent deciding who fucked up...

6 months and In still trying my best to implement slack in my entire team. For some reason they still rely on facebook chat 😑 guess I gotta block that now.

Confession: I know how to use Git but I want to learn how to use it properly so my team won't crucify me.

Trying to get Pokemon Go running on iOS in Germany....
.... first time I regret not having an Android Phone 😫

I have been coding for 2 years, 1 month at a company

Teammate1 has been coding for a year, a genius, learns everything in a week, knows all major js frameworks, refuses to adhere to any rules except no rebase on pushed (luckily)

Teammate2 has been coding for a year, learns slowly, very reliable, has no common sense at all

Teammate3 the designer, really has the skills but always busy, never has time for a meeting, gets very mad if it looks different from her original plan.

We're all college students short of money so they all want to work for clients. I don't have the leadership skills / charisma for this.

my first job is in a brand-new team, all team mate other than the manager are new grads from colleges. we r so engaged and dedicated our efforts to deliver something. and one day one of our team mate decided to resign due to family issues, we try our best throw him a farewell party, it is so emotional. now I have worked in a couple of teams, the spirit could not found after then.

!dev, much rant

The world of hockey will never be the same. We officially have the best hockey team in the world. Stanley Cup 2021 inbound.

SEATTLE KRAKENS!
(Post mostly for Stuxnet)

to whomever it may concern...

if i wanted to do code review keeping in mind how asshole you have been and made it my personal vendetta, i would not review it at all.

i would let you and your shitty code rot in hell.

I like our daily stand-ups, but our team only does it when our scrum master is present, if he takes a day off, no one cares about it
I think it's healthy for scrum teams to have that every day

What do you guys think? Are you also doing scrum? How bug is your team?

Have you ever worked in a team that actually did everything right?

I have never seen anyone talk about a team in which things got done.

I'm a solo coder, so, don't really know either way. Sounds like mostly, teams are a mess b/c they aren't done right for the most part?

I dont know actually, but seems that way.

Talking about PM, I'm still not sure whether we have one in our company. The project is managed directly by a senior engineer.

If we have any question about the doc, UI/UX team sits just next to us. We even have conversations on how to proceed the project to make us more comfortable.

I don't know aboit the others. But for me, this is sweet.

My team lead had a history of being vindictive. After 1 engineer left she talked a lot of shit on him. After another left (who was extremely well liked), she surprisingly talked a lot of shit on her.

Well I put in my resignation and reached out to personally thank her for the years of working together. I said she could use me as a reference any time. She did not reciprocate. In fact, her entire demeanor was cold and confrontational.

No idea why I thought I would be any different, she's just a shitty person.

Just when i somehow accepted that Austrian part of team is naming theirs methods in Deutch, i almost got heart attack when i saw this. They're combining english with deutch, for example isOffen(), isLoeschenAllowed(), isEinsichtHinzufuegenAllowed() and so on... And most of the time these assholes even dont add javadoc, but when they do it something like: "Checks if *curentClass* is offen". Thanks a fucking ton.

1-hour downtime window. Finished in 37 minutes. Yah!

Just out of curiosity, will anyone be at VEX Worlds in Louisville, Kentucky?

For those of you who don't know, it's a robotics competition.

Currently​ waiting for my sponsor and rest of the team to get through TSA. (precheck is fun)

Guys, serious question.

I work in a startup as a cto. We have a very low budget and considering hiring people offshore.

Does anyone have some experience in hiring and piloting a remote team? Would you recommend it?

$rant = false;
Let say you guys are working in a team of 3 and need to share a database. All of you are in different locations.

I am currently hosting my database on online server, which is kind of slow for me because I have poor Internet in my country. How do you guys do it?

Wooh! I finally have some work, I'm now the composer for a small dev team, unpayed of course, but this is a fangame, a passion project. I'm so happy!

This is PART 2/2 of a series of rants over the course of a software engineering course years ago.

We were four team members, two had never failed a class, I’ll refer to them as MT and FT, male and female top students, respectively, and an older student with some real world experience who I’ll refer to as SR.

Rant 6: After the previous drama MT built the groundwork for the project without allowing us to intervene for a week. When he finally disclosed his code he gave us tasks and I was stuck unable to run the new project, due to the friction with MT I asked SR for help which took a couple of days. MT accused us of not wanting to work and claimed he’d just do everything himself. I continued working on the task improving MT’s code and committed the work, which surprised MT and told me I didn’t have to do it. He ended up complimenting my code and complained less about me as a result.

Rant 7: MT kept giving SR flak for not working and took him out of the repo, which I promptly forked just in case he tried anything scummy. SR was indeed working on certain things, but he wasn’t listening to MT’s demands, there was no team coordination. I had to act as a proxy and push some of SR’s changes myself while informing him of the state of things.

Rant 8: When MT finally added SR back and some of the tasks were cleared up, FT didn’t cooperate. She seemed to have zero initiative and always relied on MT to tell her what to do, which didn’t include coordinating with SR to get the front-end templates running. I tried getting them in a group chat but it didn’t work, she just ignored him.

I learned a few things from that.
1. No matter how smart or experienced someone may seem, sometimes people are just petty or take things too personally.
2. Top students are sometimes too focused on their grades and disregard depth of knowledge and work quality.
3. A bad team at college can somehow make something acceptable if everyone works on things that add some kind of value.

I was hired as a team lead. I'd only managed small online teams before but now it's an office job. Any books and articles on technical team leading you may suggest?

My Brand new stickers just arrived :D
Thank You devRant Team !

fml, here we go another work trip out of state. Damm hate traveling. .

Ooh what a nice feeling it is when you come back from a short vacation and everything is in the gutter... My team is divided into the two other teams... (I said divided but I ment everyone got assigned into team X... And I am the only one who was put into team Y)

Besides the whole team fiasco, I think my legacy project decided to role around in the garbage... Because I have no idea where all those bugs came from...

One positive thing is that I won't be working alone on that legacy project anymore, at the start of next week I get help from my new team... Now let's hope they don't suck!

You are team:

MyFunction {
}

Or

MyFunction
{

}

For me it's the first one.

What i thought to be a cool company, turned out to be a shitshow.

Our "Team Lead" when assigning tasks keeps saying things like "it's only..." or "It's just..." or "You only need to change one line [there]..." And that's in regard to a terrible product with a pile of tech debt. So when you actually start to develop/fix things, you end up redoing third of the whole application.

How do you deal with this? How do you tell the "leader" that he should look into what we have in a code before making us all look bad for doing "just this one line change"?

I am in the "se-quel" team, which team are you in ?

As for today, I mostly play GTA: Online or Team Fortress 2.

By the way, any people here want to play Team Fortress 2 on Mann vs. Machines mode?

Why on earth I am doing docs and sending them to the whole team, if they keep asking me how to do X and why is Y not working

YOU WILL KNOW IF YOU READ THE DOCS

GAAAAAAA

@kidjenius @js96 @algorythm and all the UWP lovers, I was thinking about create a github team/organization where we could create and share UWP apps and codebase ... what do you think about? if you know someone else that could be interested tag them

I am a mobile dev, and I have a fucking stupid backend engineer on my team. I just finished a project with her, but this was the most frustrating project I've ever worked on bcz of her stupid mistakes, stupid implementations. just a simple example would be that, when fetching a detail of a profile, to know if signed in user is following that profile, I should pass the signed in user's id explicitly although we're using jtw, so she can extract the id easily from jtw. and she is not even an intern or new to the field. what can I do to avoid being frustrated by her stupid actions in the future?

Had a university project with friends, got another guy (#1) in our team. Upon being asked if we would take yet another guy (#2), we were sceptical if he was a good developer... Turned out guy #2 is one of the best of us, guy #1 can't do shit.

What triggers me most: saying DevOps is a role or a team.

Literally dealing with a dev in a technology I know the most(and he barely knows), with him trying to give me orders because he wants to. We are pairs, but he has been more time in the project so "he's the leader", but he's acting like a boss. How to deal with that bullshit?

I think he feels attacked on his role

As the head of the Web Operations team of my college, I managed to compose quite a convincing pitch on college mail, as a call for interns for the team during the summer. The basic idea I explained to people was that even if you aren't a pro, you can still try and apply: you have one week to impress me with your CSS/JS/PHP skills(Really basic stuff in the problem statement; I didn't even make all of it compulsory), and encouraged them to start from scratch, cuz that's how I made it last year.
Last year they had around 30 responses in 7 days - I got 42 responses in 7 hours itself. I could shut down the portal cuz of far more than enough responses, but where's the fun in that. ;)
I'm not a good programmer, I'll admit, but I certainly benefitted in this field of being the head of the web ops team with knowledge and experience my non coding friends keep sharing with me. Not having a lot of code buddies didn't turn out to be so bad.

It's not much of an achievement, geez, there's literally everything left to be done for a whole year, but well, good start!

Which is a good slack alternative?

-Simple.
-Channels.
-Mobile App.

I don't at all like when few team mates just put their name on top of the file they are adding to the project.

Gets on my nerves every time.

The conversations that come across my DevOps desk on a monthly basis.... These have come into my care via Slack, Email, Jira Tickets, PagerDuty alerts, text messages, GitHub PR Reviews, and phone calls. I spend most of my day just trying to log the work I'm being asked to do.

From Random People:
* Employee <A> and Contractor <B> are starting today. Please provision all 19 of their required accounts.
* Oh, they actually started yesterday, please hurry on this request.

From Engineers:
* The database is failing. Why?
* The read-only replica isn't accepting writes. Can you fix this?
* We have this new project we're starting and we need you to set up continuous integration, deployment, write our unit tests, define an integration test strategy, tell us how to mock every call to everything. We'll need several thousand dollars in AWS resources that we've barely defined. Can you define what AWS resources we need?
* We didn't like your definition of AWS resources, so we came up with our own. We're also going to need you to rearchitect the networking to support our single typescript API.
* The VPN is down and nobody can do any work because you locked us all out of connecting directly over SSH from home. Please unblock my home IP.
* Oh, looks like my VPN password expired. How do I reset my VPN password?
* My GitHub account doesn't have access to this repo. Please make my PR for me.
* Can you tell me how to run this app's test suite?
* CI system failed a build. Why?
* App doesn't send logs to the logging platform. Please tell me why.
* How do I add logging statements to my app?
* Why would I need a logging library, can't you just understand why my app doesn't need to waste my time with logs?

From Various 3rd party vendors:
* <X> application changed their license terms. How much do you really want to pay us now?

From Management:
* <X> left the company, and he was working on these tasks that seem closely related to your work. Here are the 3 GitHub Repos you now own.
* Why is our AWS bill so high? I need you to lower our bill by tomorrow. Preferably by 10k-20k monthly. Thanks.
* Please send this month's plan for DevOps work.
* Please don't do anything on your plan.
* Here's your actual new plan for the month.
* Please also do these 10 interruptions-which-became-epic-projects

From AWS:
* Dear AWS Admin, 17 instances need to be rebooted. Please do so by tomorrow.
* Dear AWS Admin, 3 user accounts saw suspicious activity. Please confirm these were actually you.
* Dear AWS Admin, you need to relaunch every one of your instances into a new VPC within the next year.
* Dear AWS Admin, Your app was suspiciously accessing XYZ, which is a violation of our terms of service. You have 24 hours to address this before we delete your AWS account.

Finally, From Management:
* Please provide management with updates, nobody knows what you do.

From me:
Please pay me more. Please give me a team to assist so I'm not a team of one. Also, my wife is asking me to look for a new job, and she's not wrong. Just saying.