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-
I wanted to install a file manager. The installer thought that I was on arch. It started pacman. The wrong pacman.
20 -
Boss: "I looked at a testing suite. It is $2,500 a license and I'm buying 60 licenses. You should probably get familiar with it."
LeadDev: "Um, we already use NUnit, and it's free."
Boss: "Hmm...I'd better add Pluralsight training in the budget so you can learn about the new program."
LeadDev: "Oh, no...we need new laptops more than we need software."
Boss:"New laptops? Not my budget. When we buy this new software, everyone is going to use it"
LeadDev: "Everyone? How will you monitor it's usage?"
Boss: "I'll have networking send me captures of all the running tasks on the dev machines. The test suite better be running. Writing good tests will be our #1 priority."
LeadDev: "Um, we already write tests using NUnit."
Boss: "I don't understand what you are saying. I need something I can visualize. This UI testing suite is exactly what I need."
LeadDev: "Maybe the testing suite would be better suited for you and QA?"
<click..click>
Boss: "Submitted the budget. There will be a test server available for you to configure. This whole project costs over $100,000, so don't screw it up. Any questions?"
LeadDev: "Oh...well...what server ..."
Boss: "Dang...sorry, I'm taking off the rest of the afternoon. We'll talk about this more on Monday. Get started on those Pluralsight videos. I'll expect a full training and deployments by next week. Have a great weekend!"16 -
Yesterday, in a meeting with project stakeholders and a dev was demoing his software when an un-handled exception occurred, causing the app to crash.
Dev: “Oh..that’s weird. Doesn’t do that on my machine. Better look at the log”
- Dev looks at the log and sees the exception was a divide by zero error.
Dev: “Ohhh…yea…the average price calculation, it’s a bug in the database.”
<I burst out laughing>
Me: “That’s funny.”
<Dev manager was not laughing>
DevMgr: “What’s funny about bugs in the database?”
Me: “Divide by zero exceptions are not an indication of a data error, it’s a bug in the code.”
Dev: “Uhh…how so? The price factor is zero, which comes from a table, so that’s a bug in the database”
Me: “Jim, will you have sales with a price factor of zero?”
StakeholderJim: “Yea, for add-on items that we’re not putting on sale. Hats, gloves, things like that.”
Dev: “Steve, did anyone tell you the factor could be zero?”
DBA-Steve: “Uh...no…just that the value couldn’t be null. You guys can put whatever you want.”
DevMgr: “So, how will you fix this bug?”
DBA-Steve: “Bug? …oh…um…I guess I could default the value to 1.”
Dev: “What if the user types in a zero? Can you switch it to a 1?”
Me: “Or you check the factor value before you try to divide. That will fix the exception and Steve won’t have to do anything.”
<awkward couple of seconds of silence>
DevMgr: “Lets wrap this up. Steve, go ahead and make the necessary database changes to make sure the factor is never zero.”
StakeholderJim: “That doesn’t sound right. Add-on items should never have a factor. A value of 1 could screw up the average.”
Dev: “Don’t worry, we’ll know the difference.”
<everyone seems happy and leaves the meeting>
I completely lost any sort of brain power to say anything after Dev said that. All the little voices kept saying were ‘WTF? WTF just happened? No really…W T F just happened!?’ over and over. I still have no idea on how to articulate to anyone with any sort of sense about what happened. Thanks DevRant for letting me rant.16 -
I had to go help marketing with a website UI issue today:
Me: What version of IE are you using?
Her: Oh my god! Did you say virgin?
Me: No, "Version".
Her: Hahaha you guys I thought he asked what virgin am I using!
*room erupts into laughter*
WTF is this high school?14 -
FUCK BUZZWORDS!! IT NEEDS TO STOP!
SOMEONE JUST WROTE ME THIS:
Idiot: I used machine learning to create a website.
Me: wtf?
idiot: I used HTML - Hyper Text Machine Learning
Me: ...
I DON'T KNOW WHAT TO FUCKING SAY!24 -
I work at a small company that uses very outdated coding approaches for their solutions.
About a year ago I went through our main application to improve performance and found quite a few areas that I could tackle such as using a dictionary data structure in place of (many) foreach loops that required to pull out a single object.
That specific change yielded a lot of improvement (you can only imagine) and the other developers wanted to learn the ways of dictionaries (because it was so revolutionary and new to them). I showed them many examples so that they could better understand this data structure.
Fast forward to a few months later, saw one of my coworker's code and noticed that they were using a dictionary... And iterating through each kvp similar to a foreach..... Wtf?!
P.S. that person's salary is much higher than mine :(
First time rant. Thanks for listening!
10 -
*Looking at other student’s code*
Me: Why do you have a line that only says “var != var2”? That doesn’t do anything.
Them: That tells the computer to set var to anything except var2, right?
Me:
9 -
A guy in the office just bursted out "9gag is getting boring... I wish there was a community for devs and stuff...". The entire team just stared at him xD8
-
My company doesn't allows or uses Wi-Fi. It's too dangerous... Like fucking really. We also don't use a repository. We version stuff by dates folders. Yes we are a ecommerce business.27
-
Job interview for junior dev position:
Recruiter: Implement stack
Me: Here you go *typical C++ stack implementation, struct node, push, pop*
Recruiter: This is classical over engineering, you should just inherit from std::stack
Me: wtf?15 -
!dev
*me and the guys are eating bananas on the table, and my Tech Lead is passing by
Me: *chomp
TL: deeper, you need to go deeper
[everyone lost it]
Me: *chokes, dude wtf,
Friend: there's still some, you want?
TL: oh no, thank you..., I would prefer some thicker ones
[everybody chokes]10 -
!dev but fuck it.
I'd like to talk to the interior designers of the new dutch NS sprinter trains.
Who in the flying FUCK puts the SOS button right where you'd rest your shoulder at the STANDING SEATS?!?
SERIOUSLY HOW FUCKING RETARDED CAN YOU BE? YES I ACCIDENTALLY LEANED AGAINST ONE TODAY.
What the actual fuck.22 -
I read your CV and i called you for this interview but now i see that you are not qualified for this position.
You have to be certified by CISCO as a Software Developer.
That was the moment I knew he is a fucktard.2 -
"Cricket Exchange App"
1Million downloads - 4.9* Rating
Was quiet interested
Installed and opened
And wtf is this?
19 -
So you detected that I wrote quit but oh no instead of actually quitting I get to know I have to write quit()
11 -
Me: Junior, do not touch this server
Junior: ok
-- some weeks later --
Junior: the server does not boot!
Me: What!?
Junior: i have tried to make x and y changes
Me: What!? In a production server?
Junior: Yes
WTF Junior!?10 -
That facepalm moment when the client rejects your code saying it's too small, and it might contain bugs.8
-
Had this with a relative. His laptop wasn't turning on, with or without charger so he brought it back to the store to fix it. It ran elementary os by the way (detail for later). Then he got it back after a week and we booted it and it had windows 8 installed (wtf indeed). So we called the service desk to ask about it since the issue was a broken charger (!!!). Their reply: oh yeah there was a weird system installed on it so we thought we'd reset it as well for you.
SERIOUSLY, THAT'S NOT YOUR FUCKING JOB!!
He is not tech savvy and he didn't know much about backups so that was literally about one year of work GONE. Yeah, I setup a cloud backup sync thingy for him right after that.8 -
Where dafuq is the tabs or spaces?!?!?
They are trying to teach people to code... But they don't use any tabs or spaces in their examples. Wtf. You are breeding shit coders.
19 -
Colegue could not find data when running a very important report.
I did some research and found out that there was no data for for the month they searched . They ensured my boss that they did upload the data and that the program just does not work.
I spent two days of work trying to find out what the problem could be, under boss's pressure.
Still there was no data in the database or a record that there was ever any for that month.
The deadline passed. We got fined and only after that the colegue reilised that she had never generated the data, so there was not even data to upload.
Now it is my fault cause I never told her that she needed to do that.
I am the new guy and she has been working the same job for 7 years now. Like WTF1 -
My company just asked me make a 4k VR headset in 30 days , i said ok and then went to bathroom and cried for like 5 mins straight8
-
Two thousand fucking eighteen people!!!!
Stop this non sense "get a plane" for a fucking meeting that could be a fucking video conference.
Wtf? Everyone here seems to be addicted to flying, specially upper management... And if we need a new switch to keep the network running? Oh, for that we have no money :)6 -
And it keeps on coming.
From the same project as the last rant, comes a brand new WTF moment!
WHAT THE HELL IS THAT STATEMENT FOR?
AND WHY IS THERE VALUE SETTING IN THE IF STATEMENT
16 -
I just had the most bizarre experience of my life. I handed in my resignation letter today. About an hour later, the CEO comes and collects me, takes me into his office, and rants about me leaving and other random not even tangentially related bullshit. Accusing me of not believing in the company and not talking to him. I have no idea if I'm fired.10
-
Me reviewing some high school level exams after an Excel course.
"hmmm the next question is 'what does the symbol $ mean when found inside a FORMULA in Excel' ... Let's see what they answered..."
* "it's the symbol for DOLLARS" <-- well, he tried
* "I don't know" <-- mmh ok, he doesn't know
* "it can be either a plus or a minus" <-- mmmh maybe the interpreter will just figure out the correct one
* "it's used to keep an index fixed when you copy/drag the formula" <-- nice, someone who actually followed the lesson or at least knows how to google things when the teacher doesn't see
* "it's the symbol for POUNDS" <-- WTF!! Wait a moment: POUNDS???? Have you ever lived a single moment in this world? -
When the entire platform mysteriously goes down for a half hour at 11pm ON A SATURDAY AND YOU'RE THE ONLY PERSON WHO WORKS ON IT GOOD GOD SERIOUSLY YOU'VE GOT TO BE SHITTING ME I JUST WANT TO SLEEP
WHOEVER DID THIS I WILL FIND YOU AND I WILL KILL YOU4 -
Closes the devRant app just to open it again 🤦♂️🤦♂️
//Suddenly a thought hits - why the fuck did I closed it in first place?7 -
I had a weird dream last night where people communicated by using log statements.
Like if I wanted to say something very loud I'd think Log.wtf("WTF!") and it would appear in front of me like subtitles. Log levels were equivalent to tone level.
The scene was basically a bunch of people with log statements of various levels in front of them and their lips moving with no sound.
I think I need a vacation.2 -
So my friend, who owns a restaurant, asked me over 6 months ago, if i could redesign his homepage. I told him "sure why not" and since we're friends i didn't want him to pay me any money.
He told me what his thoughts about the design were and i told him that i needed the menu, some decent pictures of the restaurant, the "about us" story and the credentials to the server.
He didn't know the credentials to his server and i told him to ask the person, who made that page to send me the information i needed, but he kept on saying "could you call her because blah blah". Well, i did but she couldn't give me that info without asking the owner. So i met him and told him "hey i told you so, because it's completely normal not give sensible information to unknown people and besides that she told me to tell you that you should give her a call, because she hasn't got your new phone number". Two months later i got an email with the credentials, but still no menu and no pictures.
Four days ago i made a transition page, because i didn't want to publish the page with stock images and without menu, so i wrote him again whether he wanted design #1 or #2. Got a text at ~21:00 saying "design 2, but you need to publish it at 22:00".
I mean wtf?! He assured me he would call some people he knows to get those things. I told him, that it would be free, because of our friendship, but no support from him and he keeps stressing?! He knows i've got a full-time job and my studies going on, so my time is really limited and he keeps fking around like that?! Man it pisses me really off...12 -
Sure. Just unplug my ethernet cable without asking. Not like I'm trying to work or anything, right?1
-
Actual code
if (dict.ContainsKey(key))
{
//do nothing
}
else
{
dict.Add(key, value);
}
I'm speechless16 -
That moment when you are at the hospital and your wife just gave birth. Boss is calling:
-Hi! congratulations on a baby!
-Thanks.
-I need something quick from you...
*connects me to live presentation with a client*
I said "Hi everyone!" and ended the call...
Didn't pick up since..
6 -
What the heck is this?
I press shift + this key it returns a fucking quotation mark.
I think that I'm the only one in our lab whi cares about this.
15 -
Get this, at college we were told to use PHP7 for development right? All good, PHP7 is awesome and all, so we have to make a big project for college and put it on the school's server... now here's the pickle...
THEIR SERVER RUNS FUCKING PHP5.X
WTF!
ARE YOU FUCKING KIDDING ME? DON'T FUCKING TELL US WE SHOULD USE PHP7 AND THEN DON'T SUPPORT PHP7 FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK9 -
Who the fuck doesn't use responsive design. Oh yeah my Job. Thank God I quit Friday. Fuck this old ass dirt company4
-
Someone posted a picture of a porn actress(like a *new* actress) that looks exactly like my manager.....bruh this is killing me she looks exactly like my manager to the point that it is freaking me out thinking that she has a gig on the side or something
I can't get over this.
This is what happens when your manager is insanely attractive.
Internet wtf.
No i am not posting pictures.54 -
Came back from vacation today to find out that some FUCKTURD PIECE OF SHIT deleted my virtual server!! Tried to find any traces on who that SHITFACED NUTSACK was without luck. This server is hosting several websites, some having files and data stretching over more than 10 years! Spent the day praying to GOD that my equally old backup scripts had run and where the FLYING FUCK those files were saved. Luckily the script had worked and I found a recent backup so now I can start the restore process on another machine. But still. WTF!!??5
-
Microsoft is bring Edge browser to Android and iOs.
Wtf?
"one of the most common requests we hear from people who use Microsoft Edge on Windows 10 pcs is we want our browser experience to move to our phones"
I think you'll also find another common request is for you to actually finish the damn thing and make it usable.24 -
var { name: x } = person
Day 1 : that's some good ES6 code man, I'm so 2017
Day 5 : Oh yeah I think it works, dont really remember
Day 17 : WTF is that ? Is that even Javascript ?10 -
A LOT of this article makes me fairly upset. (Second screenshot in comments). Sure, Java is difficult, especially as an introductory language, but fuck me, replace it with ANYTHING OTHER THAN JAVASCRIPT PLEASE. JavaScript is not a good language to learn from - it is cheaty and makes script kiddies, not programmers. Fuck, they went from a strong-typed, verbose language to a shit show where you can turn an integer into a function without so much as a peep from the interpreter.
And fUCK ME WHY NOT PYTHON?? It's a weak typed but dynamic language that FORCES good indentation and actually has ACCESS TO THE FILE SYSTEM instead of just the web APIs that don't let you do SHIT compared to what you SHOULD learn.
OH AND TO PUT THE ICING ON THE CAKE, the article was comparing hello worlds, and they did the whole Java thing right but used ALERT instead of CONSOLE.LOG for JavaScript??? Sure, you can communicate with the user that way too but if you're comparing the languages, write text to the console in both languages, don't write text to the console in Java and use the alert api in JavaScript.
Fuck you Stanford, I expected better you shitty cockmunchers.
31 -
I'm done. I've seen it all now. Everything's happened.
I've been fired and re-hired. Again. Within a single hour. On the exact same team. While on vacation. Without notice. Found it out only because my colleagues told me about it later.
Just try to imagine the cackling laughter that ensued when I was finally told. It might have been somewhat off-putting.8 -
When you're working on a very complex client/server project in 7 open Solutions and changes in about 100 classes and your project manger gives you a "very important text align issue" that you have to fix immediately 😒1
-
In 2017, who the hell goes to market with an app written in VB using SQL?????? Especially in the IoT space.
Are you kidding me? Even back when this project started, it was a dead language already.
I can't even.4 -
The other day I was looking for my wallet and the first thing that crossed my mind was "Ctrl + F" please tell me I'm not crazy5
-
My friend called me today.
Him : Dude,can you write an app for both android/ios for my uni's orientation night. The app -
1) will only be activated only in the school compound.
2) display all the images with certain hashtag from Instagram.
3) voting option for selecting king/queen of the night.
Oh and the event is in next two weeks. You can just modify the Facebook and the instagram app right?
Speechless....2 -
Been programming Java for a few weeks now, and WTF is this, Java?!
"Example".equals("Example")
What is wrong with the form that a dozen of other languages use?
"Example" == "Example"
P. S. If you don't know Java, the latter one compares for the type of objects and always returns true in this case.19 -
So i just read an article by The Verge on some good and bad things about the pixel 2.
Listed as a con: "Pixel 2 and Pixel 2 XL... have the same camera"
HOW THE FUCK IS THAT A BAD THING!?
So it's bad that they don't cut down the camera on the cheaper phone to make the XL more appealing?
I really don't get wtf they're on about...20 -
What the fuck is this?
I'm so confused...
Where is the Netflix app? Is this real life?
Please help me.
27 -
javascript... the language where your code works even if you forget ';' and declaring your variables.
wtf7 -
I study software engineering, so that obviously means I'm also free family tech support right?
Apparently some lady that lives nearby believes this, but she replaced family with vague acquaintance.
This lady is very computer illiterate, so much that I have to describe the wifi icon as a dot with two waves above it.
So one day, she calls me because her Outlook isn't receiving mail. I ask her if she has any internet and she confirms she does because she can visit Google. After trying a bunch of possible solutions in Outlook, I ask her to download a remote access program so I can look at what's wrong.
She didn't have internet. Visiting Google means seeing the Chrome logo apparently.4 -
That annoying co-worker that asks you each and everything about programming and when you tell them, they be like "Oh I already knew that"
WTF Bitch!4 -
So I went with a friend to a printing company today and asked this gem: "so , will you print the white too?"
Before he answered I realized my momentary retardness and said: "wtf, what a stupid question."
I think I need some rest 😂😂2 -
What the literal fuck? This is an ad targeting devs. They don't even know what a fucking programming language is.
https://youtube.com/watch/...4 -
Ok so I was talking to my computer science teacher earlier and he said that he would rather use vim over PHPStorm for creating a laravel project. WTF!
Normally I would be cool with it, but he has pushed faulty code to git over 8 times. I'm just done.8 -
I'm currently developing an integration to an API and I found out a bug.
So I asked the contact person for the API if this feature was intentional. I did this on their forum for the API and I sent it as a private message to him.
I got a response telling me that they dont have the "sufficient details" to answer my question and that they would investigate the feature "comprehensivley".
5 minutes later I see a post on the forum in the developer section from the contact dude and it was my fucking question.
So now he's asking the users of the API if his and his companys own bug is intentional.
What the actual fuck?!
Is this how you investigate things "comprehensivley"? -
In my country, almost every college student is expected to finish their degree and apply for an internship, with some universities forcing them to do it and making it a requirement to finish their studies.
Now, this wouldn't be so bad if almost every internship employer in the country didn't expect you to work for free. Seriously, I can estimate 80% of the internships pay you NOTHING. WTF.
Fortunately this is not the case for CS, but every time I tell somebody I recently started an internship, they will ask me: "Oh, but they don't pay you anything, do they?". Of course they pay me! I wouldn't be going to an office every day for 4 hours to do someone else's work if they didn't!!
Why the fuck is it even legal to employ somebody and not pay them a cent, just because "it will look good on your resume"?? And why do people still accept this shit??
Is is like that on other countries as well?2 -
My mum just had to call me to change our home WiFi password, because she can't change it on her laptop.
She's pretty bad with technology, but she had to call me to do it, because no one else knew how to. Including my brother-in-law who designs IT systems for major banks and system admins working for the government.
She had to call me, from Hungary to do it. I live in Scotland.4 -
What to do when you somehow can't align 3 goddamn icons side by side?
You take a screenshot of them three when they are aligned and you set this image as the button instead.
Who managed to hire such incompetents??
(screen is me dragging the "icons")
7 -
fck you visual studio!!! seriously what is wrong with you?!?
~me peacfully writing some code ~
ok let's see what we did
vs: I can't compile that. The key whateverKey in line 15 is not defined.
me: ok let's investigate...
nowhere in line 15 use whateverKey.... ok....
wait I didn't change that file at all.
~me clicking rebuild solution~
vs: can't build that because of whateverKey in line 15.
me : WTF?!?
checking git diff -> file not changed
me okkkkkkk......
closing visual studio and reopening solution.
Build succeeded.
What the actuall hell?!?
I'm spending way too much time trying to get that shity peace of software to do what it is supposed to do!6 -
did you know that "double colon" is called T_PAAMAYIM_NEKUDOTAYIM in PHP? it's in Hebrew.
syntax error, unexpected T_PAAMAYIM_NEKUDOTAYIM
like wtf?6 -
Client doesn't have any idea what pages/links they want for their website. Same client told me to call the guy who recommended me to him for the project brief...wtf...I mean WTF!!!
5 -
If this isn't the worst thing.
I was asked to develop a WordPress plugin as an intern developer and I've been on it since last week. I got stuck when i finally had the loops running but couldn't find a way to format the output without overwriting the existing values on each iteration.
For the last one week I've been showing the progress on my code to the CTO and this is how it has been.
Me: Hello. Everything is coming along fine, I have most of the functions running properly, do you mind looking into the algorithm?
CTO: Oh not at all, let's see what you got. Omg great code for an intern. I think you should add a new variable there and maybe clean up that function over there because it's deprecated now and yeah HaHa, Great work.
Me: Thanks xD I'll have it finished latest next week.
CTO: Oh great. I can't wait to see what you'd have by next week so we can install it on our WordPress.
*Next finally week comes and I'm done with the code.
Me: Hello, I'm done with the entire code! Want to take a look? The plugin works just exactly as described.
*CTO takes a look
CTO: Omg?
Me: Omg?
CTO: This is completely bad programming practice, so you are running 4 nested loops that all send queries to our data base and make changes to data. This would have a very drastic effect on the server considering the traffic we get.
Me: But you saw this exact code last week and said it was okay, I only changed some CSS since the last time.
CTO: Omg, we can't accept this, you have to develop it again from the scratch without using those loops and queries.
Me: What? Okay, fine. Any hints?
CTO: Yes.
Me: What?
CTO: Just start. That's the greatest hint I could ever give. And also, always have a plan before you begin.
Me: Yeah, thanks for those. It's the first time I'm hearing them and they would totally be applicable to building this thing.2 -
Project manager asked to "remove the debug breakpoints in Eclipse before checking in the Java file, so the client can't see them". Happened some years back. In an Indian software services co.
-
My manager tracks progress and issues using Excel.
Asks everyone in the team to put feedback on Trello.
I can't even..... WTF1 -
*Runs MySQL benchmark on a new server*
Result: 30 read queries a second.
*Hmm.... that can't be right...."
*Creates simple node benchmark script and runs it*
Result: 400-500 read queries a second.
Wtf mysql...
8 -
TL;DR;
Idiot hard coded database host on the app... Pushed to prod and suddenly shit wasn't working... Took me 10 minutes to figure out what was going on...
Wrote a passive aggressive git message and commited.
Before updating prod my boss turns around to me and the following took place:
Boss: is there any problem with the server?
Me: yes, someone (i know who was ) hard coded the test db IP and it broke the backend.
Boss: oh, but will it affect the mobile app?
Me: well, it won't work but I'm already pushing the fix.
Boss: no..err.. I mean... Will I have to make any change to the mobile app?
Me inside: wtf dude... For real?! Get your shit together...
Me: no. It good, I already fixed it.
Boss: OK. Thanks
TL;DR;
Moron hard coded dB's host and stupid boss can't get shit together nor ask who did it to take precautions...13 -
ARGH. The moment you realise the previous developer centralised ALL of the current software around a M$ access dBase. WTF. Same dude also stores day of year, week of year, month number and year as seperate fields in a MySQL dBase. Alongside a datetime stamp. OMFG!!!!9
-
The game we have all been waiting for is here!!
http://store.steampowered.com/agech...
o wait....wtf
1 -
"Hey, remember when we said we didn't need any of that data, and it was totally okay to design the app without any expectation of needing it, and that it would actually put us behind to add even hooks 'just in case' like you begged? Well, turns out we need it. And we need it right now."
...
"Oh, and this is totally not our fault because you should have just gone ahead and done the thing we told you not to do anyway, on your own time."1 -
THOSE PEOPLE/TEACHERS WHO PUT TWO SPACES BETWEEN SENTENCES, WTF IS WRONG WITH YOU. ITS NOT THE FUCKING TYPEWRITER AGE, THE COMPUTER DOES SPACING FOR YOU. MIGHT AS WELL DRAW SERIFS ON WITH A PEN AFTER PRINTING BY THAT LOGIC.10
-
A few days ago I had a party with a big part of my good ol' highschool classmates who I almost never spoke to. Let the stories begin:
- Guy who made fun me in when I said I wanted to do computer science: "Man, I wish I had done the same study. It looks fun."
- Guy who has a startup for like 1 year: "Sooo what are you good at, ios/android development? webdevelopment? contact me if you want to work with us.(for free)"
- One of the friendly guys: "Do you have any sites where I can learn some basic programming or something?"
What I thought: WTF HAPPEND IN THOSE 3 YEARS, WHY THE SUDDEN INTEREST IN PROGRAMMING AND STUFF?! ESPECIALLY YOU FIRST GUY!3 -
Slack is cool and all... But do we really have to have an "account per team" ? Damn I cringed so hard when I was setting up two-factor authentication and realized it was this way... Wtf...9
-
One employee explained something to another, while i was walking by.
He: "... now we have 800 instead of 4000 on this Page ..."
Me: "Miliseconds?"
He: "Executed sql querys"
WTF?!?5 -
Earth to Moon - 238,900 mi
Moon to Earth - 238,900 mi
New york to London - 3,459 mi
London to New york - 3,459 mi
Monday to Friday - 5
Friday to Monday - WTF!!!3 -
The WTF moment when I realized that the main production DB server was configured with **dynamic** private IP. After maintenance upgrade and reboot the rest of environment stopped. When I explained to sys admin what caused the production breakdown hi still did not get that :/3
-
(I'll give some context before the rant: I'm part if the IT department of a manufacturing company (actually I'm 1/2 of the department), and all the applications (old an new - except the ones used on production line) used in the company are my responsibility, that including most of databases too... Also, English isn't my native language so there will be some words or phrases that I'll probably write wrong... Sorry for that, if there are any corrections, I'll be glad to hear them)
So...
There will be an implementation of new "control point" on the "shipping department" which consists on a electromechanical equipment controlled by a PLC. And despite the original concept was a collaboration between 2 departments (we, IT, and Production Control), I was never taken in consideration about anything of the project... To be fair, I forget about its existence until two weeks ago.
So, a few days I learned that there are a huge delay regarding the original deadline (mainly because the supplier was delayed with the delivery of their system), and since two weeks (less, actually, because some holydays in between) I'm learning how to integrate that "P.o.S" into an existing application on a PC using a serial communication (not the main problem, as I've done that before... With another brand of PLC's) while avoiding buying any additional software (to get the communication done and in a easy way) and that sort of things... But discovering in the process that it will be necessary to acquire such additional SW in order to finish the job ASAP.
When suddenly I get the "news" that it's almost all my duty (and responsibility) to meet the original deadline, because it doesn't matter how the other departments screw all the schedule, it's the job of IT to get the shit done in time... And what is worst: they didn't said that in such straight manner, no, the implied it while making a quick test with the general manager.
I mean, WTF? Besides doing a "respectable" number of "user support" activities in a dialy basis, I also need to manage the activities of other departments? And also fix their screw ups on a schedule that I just learned days before?
And also there is a coworker (one of whom screwed up) that, almost every time she see me, is asking "how much until you'll finish?"
As I read on a meme years ago: "please, give patience, because if you give strength, I'll need bail money too..."
Damn... I don't know of the benefits of this work are worth all this nonsense -
ffs! An hour trying to figure out why my web app does not connect to my db instance on localhost.
host=127.0.0.1 does not seem to work but host=localhost does...wtf?
Strange oddities of my f'ing local setup, and ofc I cannot just let it go as solved, I have to figure out why it will connect to localhost but not too 127.0.0.1 obviously not my web app issue, but something on my localhost causing this issue.7 -
so I'm here watching my boss' whatsapp blinking "typing..." for 5 minutes wondering of it's bugged, he's drunk or I have to update my CV...3
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tldr: maintainers can be assholes
So there's this python package+cli tool that I found interesting while browsing github and thought of contributing to it. Now this repo has around 2000 issues and multiple open PRs so seemed like a good start.
So i submit 2 PRs implementing similar features on different sites (it is a scraping repo). This douche of a maintainer marks comments various errors in the code convention not being followed without specifying what they actually were. Now I had specified that i was new to this repo so and would need his help (I guess this is one of the jobs of the reviewer). This piece of shit comments changes in the pr with one or two word sentences like "again", "wtf" and occasionally psycopathic replies. That son of a bitch can't tell what's wrong like wtf dude, instead of having a long discussion over the comments section of the fucking pr why can't you just point out what exactly is wrong and I'll happily fix that shit, but no, you have to be a douche about out it and employ sarcasm. Well FUCK YOU TOO.1 -
Overheard: "I'll need to get in touch with my Infrastructure Architecture Innovation Team"
😂🤣😅😂🤣😅
Why not just call them team buzzwords. Omg.3 -
Just found out that our front-end intern that has been here for more than 4 months don't know about "onchange" events!!!
wtf man? I'm back end and know this shit...2 -
We just learned in university that you should use '1 << i' instead of 'Math.pow(2, i)' because it is faster when calculating 2^i...
Am I the only one who thinks that this would never get through a code review in a company? I mean it is harder to realize what is going on especially when you didn't went to university lately.7 -
I have a friend that keeps his phone on "Battery saver" all the time... It's painful to always see that notification with "your phone is on battery saver mode".
He told me he does that because he does not want his battery to empty too soon...
A while ago he refused to use my Micro USB cable because he told me there might be viruses on that cable. ON THE CABLE!!!! Like viruses stored inside a cable that has no memory... A simple cable ( da fcuk? )
The worst part? He's studying computer science :/5 -
So a client of mine who I've known a long time referred me to a friend of his for a project. OK great! Quoted the guy a price got the OK but didn't know my client had told this friend they would be paying me for the job. Well I found this out when I went to get payment from the guy. I call my client and he proceeds to tell me "yes we told him we would pay for it but thought it would just be included in our project fee which was already paid".. WTF2
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„Please do not ask any questions in the meeting next monday, I don’t want to be embarrassed!“
- The senior giving me and two colleagues an introduction into his field of work...
WTF3 -
I've found a job as a junior developer several months ago, but I really want to find another job...
I know, my knowledge and skills aren't superior yet, but I am tired of that feeling of being useless.. I constantly self-educate myself after work and university, but still, I often need to ask co-workers "where's this form?", "wtf is that", "how do I access this"... Plus, their projects are HUGE, but no matter how big the project is, there are 2 to 4 people working on each at a time. And 1 person may work on 2-3 projects. And we are usually late for deadlines :/
Also code quality is meh..
Me: Why do we implement it here?
Co-worker: oh, we don't actually use it, it's just to hide warnings and pass the test.
Holy shit, wtf, I've spent half day trying to figure out wtf is this and why is it not working :/4 -
First day in new job, decided to take the train because city is so overloaded with cars, it is end of april and snow outside wtf. Best weather for coding :D4
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I'm literally the only one who locks the screen here at work.
Always makes me wanna do something to teach then.
My boss always leaves the screen unlocked with sublime opened and goes to lunch!
I think someday he was logged into production also...
And I'm like: seriously? wtf...
I lock my screen even when I'm home alone... yes I'm that paranoid...
No one is gonna "Greek question mark" me 😂18 -
When i started my work I encoubtered this db(one of 4): more than 20 tables, some with 200 columns literally... EVERYTHING is a varchar 😓.
I'm slowly designing some normalized tables with real fk on new features and projects and people are like: how the fuck did you implement this feature so fast? the other guy spent 3 months designing this form (and I'm just speechless):
The form was some sort of crazyness shit passing input names as "name-of-property" and a file only to check if(name="string") then store a number value to an array and save it as a "number" (actually varchar) on the db. literally more than 50 if statements to do this.
Everything on a single table that made no sense at all.
Just wtf... At least my boss let me start if from scratch cause he we were always having panick attacks every time he needed to do something with it. 😂😂6 -
CS Teacher today:
"Transport Layer provides Security and Encryption to the communication" (TCP/IP stack)
me: WTF? Encryption is provided on the *top* of the transport layer (aka Application) ( and below [Network Layer] there is IPsec)
Teacher: no, it's wrong.
me: so Wikipedia it's wrong, RFC 5246 is wrong, and you have right?
Teacher: Yes.
me: Ok. (aka fuck you!)4 -
Whaaaat theeeee actual fuuuuuuuuck. So basically I've got a server running and everything is fine. All services are working and I can access the webserver running on it over every browser. But randomly my ssh access stopped working (can connect but doesn't return shit after last login message) and when loading the web config thingie from my provider it gives me an empty response (all other pages from the provider are working). So basically I've got a working server I cannot access. But I'd like to access it and cannot even restart that shitty thing.
Anybody else had a problem like that or has any idea wtf is going on?5 -
Keep this in mind: I don't like WordPress and PHP at all!!!
So a couple of days ago my boss asked me if I could extend a custom made WordPress plugin made by our intern. First thought: sure why not? Boss says: it has to be done in less than 100 hours of work (an estimate done by my boss and the intern). Me: I can't tell you that before I have seen the code and what functionality has to be in the extension. Boss: Cool, look it over this weekend and tell me if you want to do it or not.
I looked it through and my answer will probably be: NO WHERE IN HELL am I gonna are this in less that 100 hours! 1. no tests has been performed so I have absolutely no clue if his code works.
2. variable names are mostly: $string_query (whatever that means?), $result, $string_temp and so on.
3. Methods and functions are more than 250 lines long, with shitty formatting, and more comments than code. WTF?
4. The estimate has been made by an intern and my boss (doesn't know much about programming). I haven't been consulted about it....
5. No version control. No branches, no commits other than initial commit. Great.
6. Most comments in the code just tells me what I can read from the code. What it returns and what it takes as params. Can I please know wtf your method call named $booking->run () does? I still haven't found this method in the code after 1 hour of intensively looking for it...
FFS man... Not gonna do this, even though I thought it would have been an interesting project initially.
Sorry for the long rant... I just wish the intern would have consulted me about all this shit, since he obviously have bad practices. *sigh*6 -
WHAT THE FUCKING SHIT DO YOU WANT FROM ME??! I LITERALLY GET SPAM MAILS EVERY 5 MINUTES (i know I know, some of you get more than that) ABOUT BITCOIN. I NEVER DID ANYTHING FUCKING RELATED TO CRYPTO CURRENCY! HOW DO YOU KNOW MY EMAIL?? LIKE WTF. I'm sitting here doing my stuff and every few minutes my phone starts ringing and I'm like "hey maybe person x answered or something else important happened" but when I actually look at it to see whats up it's just a fucking email about bitcoin being outdated and it tells me to maybe invest into other crypto currencies. After actually reading one of the spam mails because I was interested in what they actually want from me I had to find out that they do not even mention any other currency or website. WTF INTERNET?? WHAT DO YOU WANT?6
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Don't you love it when you're in a full-on creative mood but the whole universe is somehow working against you doing anything productive?
Woke up in the morning with bright ideas for my app. But my PC restarted and my IDE crashed. After getting the IDE up, the project no longer builds. After spending hours to try and fix it, reinstall IDE and ............... voila............... everything works. I mean WTF?1 -
That feeling when you spend hours trying to fix something, only to give up.
Then you come back he next day and find you were missing a comma...1 -
In a lecture hall
1. Try Listening to lecture
2. Finds it uninteresting
3. Think that you can later learn from video tutorials
4. One day before exam -- No time to learn..3 -
> Be me
> Programming for an embedded system
> It's not interruptable
> Got ISR Fault (Interrupt Service Register)
> WTF
> Breakpoints are useless
> WTF
> Comment out some lines
> Turns out it goes ISRF Infinite Loop because of the multi dimensional array of strings
> WTF
> Use pointer intead of defining actual size
> Works
> WTF
WTF?1 -
bosses doesn't care about the scope of the projject they just want it to be done fast as possible. It's burning me out. Fuck this..6
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So.. There are about 4 jobs in my country that even mention golang, and only as an "advantage"
😟 Wow.. learning Go really isn't helping..
Why isn't it used widely as the main language of a dev team?? Too young? Or are there serious issues, that most companies prefer using c#/ruby/python for web dev backend?8 -
Monday
pm: anon we need this by Friday I will get send you the requirements.
Tuesday
Pm no show.
Wednesday afternoon
Pm: here are the requirements anon(literally only one sentence) wtf
Thrusday
Pm: can I test it anon.1 -
I've refrained from commenting on which IDE is best and which isn't, what simply works for me is eclipse. So far it handles stuff for me pretty nicely... until today.
Look at this screenshot, can you spot the wtf? Like, SRSLY, WTF.... Might it really be just that DOT at the end or is it just the dot concatenated at the end of the error message?
14 -
Network manager: administration just canceled our domain registration 2 months before schedule.
Boss: uh.. OK... but can't we make a script to route traffic from www.canceled.com to our server?
Me: that's not how DNS works ( proceed to explain how DNS works )
PS: boss is lead developer... wtf?2 -
I'm a tech lead for a new agile project for a manager who knows nothing about agile. Having to work on a chart that shows exactly how many sprints each milestone will be and when it will complete for like, 17 sprints from now when requirements aren't even set. Wtf?7
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Alright sit down boys this is gonna be a good tale (also a long one).
I'm currently developing a wordpress site for a Client. Everythings works well enough, I had a few "wtf is this shit" moments. Now we decided to give him access to the wp site so that he can see and change (I know, I know don't judge me pls), so I set up tunneling with ngrok, but that PIECE OF SHIT WP DIDN'T WORK ANYMORE. You asking why? Oh I'm telling you why, wp uses ONLY absolute paths. Well fuck, I ain't gonna touch that piece of shit php code, so I installed a plugin and shit was working.
In short, after a few fucking HOURS that shit finally worked. Well that would be a great fucking end for our little tale right? Yeeeeaaah no, I shit you not, it gets even better!
After a few days my client gets back at me that he can't enter fucking wp-admin to work on the text an stuff (again pls don't judge me for granting him access to the backend of wp during development). So I checked it out and that piece of shit didn't work. If anyone would happen to know why, I would be grateful bc for the love of spagetti monster I HAVE NO FUCKING CLUE!
So I said to myself well fuck this shit and put it on a webhoster. Uploaded all the files, and migrated the db. Sounds like it finally worked right? Well guess again buddy. So I needed to go to the database, updated values manually for wp to have the correct url and then still needed to force it to refresh every fucking link.
As it finally works now, this tale is also finished then and I really hope that part 2 is never ever comming!
Sorry for the (somewhat) long rant but this is some next generation bullshit. -
was handed a new .NET project (im not a C# guy). i go to spin up a windows 10 machine, i have a 20 gig SSD thinking that would be enough - Windows 10 + Visual studio is 24 gigs???? WTF!!!!2
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You know shit is going to hit the fan if the sentence "c++ is the same as java" is said because fuck all the underlying parts of software. It's all the fucking same. Oh and to write a newline in bash we don't use \n or so, we just put an empty echo in there. And fuck this #!/bin/bash line, I'm a teacher. I don't need to know how shit works to teach shit. Let's teach 'em you need stdio for printf even tho it compiles fine without on linux (wtf moment number one, asking em leaves you with "dunno..") and as someone who knows c you look at your terminal questioning everything you ever learned in your whole life. And then we let you look into the binaries with ldd and all the good stuff but we won't explain you why you can see a size difference in the compiled files even tho you included stdio in the second one, and all symbol tables show the exact same thing but dude chill, we don't know what's going on either.
Oh and btw don't use different directory names as we do in our examples. You won't find your own path, there is no tab key you can press to auto-fill shit.
But thats not everything. How about we fill a whole semester with "this is how to printf" but make you write a whole game with unity and c#. (not thaught even the slightest bit until then btw)
Now that you half-assed everything because we put you in a group full of fucks who don't even know what a compiler is but want to tell you you don't know shit and show you their non-working unfinished algorithms in some not-even-syntax-correct java...
...how about we finally go on with Algebra II: complex numbers, how they are going to fuck up your life, how we can do roots of negative numbers all of the sudden and let you do some probability shit no one ever fucking needs. BUT WHY DON'T YOU KNOW EVERYTHING ALREADY HMMMMM, IT'S YOUR SECOND LESSON, YOU WENT TO SCHOOL PLS BE A MATH PRO ASAP CUS YOU NEED IT SO MUCH BUT YOU DON'T NEED TO KNOW PROPER SYNTAX, HOW MEMORY MANAGEMENT WORKS, WHAT A REFERENCE IS AND PLS FINALLY FORGET THE WORD "ALLOCATION" IT DOESN'T PLAY A SINGLE ROLE YOU ARE STUDYING SOFTWARE DEVELOPMENT WHY ARE YOU SO BAD AT ECONOMICS IT MAKES NO SENSE I MEAN YOU HAD A WHOLE SEMESTER OF HOW TO GREET SOMEONE IN ENGLISH, MATHS > ECONOMICS > ENGLISH > FUCKING SHIT > CODING SKILL THATS HOW THE PRIORITIES WORK FOR US WHY DON'T YOU GET IT IT MAKES SO MUCH SENSE BRAH4 -
So I've been maintaining our company's web products for a few years now with a great senior dev, but why would it ever make sense to have a
bool somebool = returnsBool();
if (somebool == true)
...
WTF?!?! I still fine them in the code to this day.6 -
> Developer in a company that builds Enterprise Applications with web client and stuff.
> Had an really nice website a which colleague made with joomla as base.
> New CMO thinks it would be cool if he could change more details.
> Company now uses some cheap ugly website builder.
WTF is wrong with u O.o -
Hi devRant, meet the unresettable computer. When you try to reset it, it asks you for a keyboard layout...BUT YOU HAVE NO INPUT DEVICE TO ANSWER! Fucking great...
3 -
Daily wtf:
Got my new bt headphones. Went to work and plugged my bt stick in the PC. Paired them and double clicked on volume control. Each time i clicked ubuntu froze for 30 sec.4 -
Can anybody here tell wtf answer of this question is?
Most of the quizzes in this test are terrible. Answer to some options don't get displayed because it gets parsed by the browser. I think the person who developed this website and questions suck at this.
5 -
Was there a recent CSS update or something? My website just broke all of a sudden. I haven't touched anything since last year WTF4
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So I was using Defraggler to defragment one of the partitions on my computer, and somehow ended up with more fragmentation than there were to start with. WTF?!12
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I am not even at our office yet the PM already sent us multiple emails asking us to do trivial stuff like update excel sheets, file reports, etc... WTF!? Can't you fucking wait till I get to work!?1
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So I'm not sure on how much Youtube can fuck up so much in a short time, but I'm actually suprised.
And I'm not just tslking of all the shady/bullshit bahavior and reasoning on content creators, but also on how this shitty new app is just one clusterfuck of not working shit.
One if the easiest features there is - the damn shuffle feature for a damn playlist - doesn't properly work since the first day it went live. Are you shitting me? Even after a felt decade they are still not able to fix it. Yet alone showing more than 200 in the playlist items (when a video is already playing)
But a simple feature which is useful to nearly everyone and which worked before is surely no problem when the damn service itself would work.
Aside that the app sometimes randomly crashes when leaving fullscreen mode (desktop) and making it for some magical way impossible to interact with the browser (WTF?!) until you resize it or wait for an eternity to relase you from that suffer.
On top of that pile of garbage, the videos don't load properly anymore. Whats the fucking point of showing how much of a video is supposidly loaded when you skip forward for 5sec and it has to buffer for 10 to continue?
Well, if that were to at least only happen when the video is skipped forwards/backwards. On some strange occasion (Probably when the stars arrange properly) than your connection to the servers is back in the stoneage. Because otherwise I can't explain how the fuck it has to lower the resolution down to 360p and STILL buffer. I have a fucking 10MByte/s+ DL rate, ARE YOU SHITTING ME?!
Now after over 1.5k chars I notice I maybe a bit over the top ... BUT FUCK IT. I mean, it's fucking youtube ffs. If the biggest videoplatform can't even create a properly working webapp, then what the fuck are you doing google?1 -
Installing COSU devices. Need to setup 200 Androids. I boot up number 43 and it's set to Chinese language. I switch to English. It registers with the network.. WTF there is a sim card inside. =D And it was in a sealed package.
Now I am a proud owner of some poor bastards China Unicom WO sim card. =D -
WTH. My TV, with a plugged in chromecast, just turned itself on and played music that definetely was not mine.
First thought was, that someone got into my network and was jerking around. A little later I figured out, that my mom started the playlist on her phone and somehow it triggered my cast und turned the TV on.
Seriously WTF4 -
So today's conversation with my co-worker who built our build system...
Me:OS X build server is not building valid installs.
Him:What's the problem?
Me:The KEXT is not rebuild... I think that Jenkins isn't capable of updating the file because of the permissions the script set when you test compiled it manually... Could you please add Jenkins user to sudoers file or something?
Him:Yes of course, but what should I google?
WTF dude? Do you even think yourself? And for some reason no-one has acces to the build servers configs exept for him and he shows up like 3 times a week... -
So the company I work at is moving to a new location. We are a small company, so we were all talking about potential problems with the move - network, internet, firewalls, access to servers and so on. Us trying to cover all possible scenarios.
Our CTO looks up and says: “or we could just cross our fingers and hope for best”.
WTF🤯3 -
Not really Lol. WTF? Did you just tell me that VPN for IoT is a bunch of crap just to leave the room without arguing about the alternatives?! What is you fucking point you dirty piece o' motherfuckin shit! Please do me a favor and go fuck yourself!
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Funny story...
Got a small college assignment based on Java and Cassandra(database). The database shell was running fine. Spent 5 days removing the random java exceptions and working on the basic connectivity, searched everywhere on Stack overflow and other forums for solutions and still no help.
So, I decided to write a program that would print only the output as I knew what would be the output when it will run. Took a screenshot of it and made up a cover story to tell my professor that I did it on a friend's computer.
But while I was taking a screenshot of the Eclipse with code window and output window, some random syntax errors popped up.(but they weren't syntax error).
So I created a new project and copied the pom.xml file and the code into the new one(I tried this one before and it didn't work). And there were no errors. So I took a screenshot of it with output of different file and opened a different file.
But then, don't know what came across my mind and I clicked on run just to see if this works, and it worked fine. And now I'm like.. WTF JUST HAPPENED!! -
“This value must be shorter than 20 characters in length.” … password field, bank website, 2016, wtf ¯\_(ツ)_/¯2
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What the fuck? Been trying to see rants all day long at work and at home and DevRant was super weird as if I wasnt connected, which I was...
Tested jsrant.com and the api was working...
Connected to a VPN on digital ocean and everything works flawlessly, dinconected from VPN and DevRant is off again...
Now on VPN... Wtf...5 -
<!doctype confusedRant 😕>
Plot: we need to release our website in two weeks which holds at least a thousand pages. All these pages are manually migrated from the old website, which doesn't have a database. Current status: 650 pages/1000 are completed, 40 different templates need to be adapted. I'm alone on these templates, my colleagues create the pages and fill the new database
So I'm working on the templates a WebDev coded for our website on a licensed CMS, and had this decently simple html block that looks like a square and consisting of roughly this (Emmet style):
a.area > blockquote > strong.title + p
After adding another <a> element inside the p, I noticed that my <a> wouldn't display and bust the whole look of the square.
Just for more details, the CSS the dev made is ultra specified (meaning each element is too precisely "described" : div.class .child .child2 { /* styles */ } when it could be .class .child2 for example). Also, the templates he made need to be compatible with any "module" the website has, thus the need of this high specificity
So I fired up the DevTools to check what happened, and had:
Expected: a.area > blockquote > strong.title + p > a
Actual result: some new a.area were wrapping the <strong>, the <p> and the <a> I just added. The source code was not showing any of this but just the rules I initially wrote - the expected result
Wtf?! I thought the JS the dev made was adding elements. I disabled said JS, and bam, these a.area were still wrapping everything!! What black magic would add these stupid tags I never asked for.
So I went looking in the CSS files in case some wizardry was happening, but everything was OK.
I tried changing my structure, changing tag (swapping a.area to p.area or without .area), HTML just said "nope, have those please".
Eventually I rewrote my own module out of frustration after three quarters of an hour fiddling with this stupid "module". I hate losing time for such shenanigans and under a lot of pressure because of deadlines.
Still haven't figured why those <element>.area would wrap everything out of nowhere...3 -
WTF?!?! Just opened thrones amino app and I got this error. Something is strange. The night is dark and full of terrors.
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4 months ago, my team had the task of redesigning the login page of our main app. Really nice design. Since it was fairly simple, it was given to one of our summer camp guys to do something useful. After he finished, it was stuck on merge request and no one bothered to check it, as it was not important for our PO's, it simply got forgotten...
Last week, since I was bored and remembered about it, I decided to check it and fix the small issues it had, without telling anything to our PO, just did it, asked for code review and added it to our latest release.
Today I overheard 2 guys from analytics team:
"Hey, have you seen our new login page?"
"There is a new WordPress developer so he just does his job well"
Our application is not in WordPress, only our company's website is!
Our application is in Angular!
There is no new WordPress developer! We only have an offer looking for one!
WTF2 -
Swift SUCKS
Why?
Because of its absolutely useless complexity...
a total simple thing: i have a string and want to concat a integer with it, so:
var x = stringVar + intVar; right? NO
its var x = stringVar + String(intVar);
or getting the index of a element in a array?
var index = array.indexOf(element); thats logic, right??? Not for swift, gotta go with: var index = array.index(of: element); WTF??!!
And all the other shit: nil instead of null, int++? Nope.
And there are SO MANY MORE things, where u just think, Apple really though different........than all normal coding languages.......
I´ll honestly rather learn C and recode Ios or have a look at objective-c...13 -
Junior asks me to help him with his Microprocessors project. I was like cool mail it to me I'll check it out. He sends me a .s assembly file and tells me this is machine generated code, can you make it look like it's written by a human. I was like wtf dude -_-.
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Hey, what do you think about WTF capes for duckies?
Oh I'd put like three of those on a duck and the proceed to throw it at the people that displease me. 😇😈
DevRant issue: https://github.com/devRant/devRant/...1 -
I`m new to coding. So i`m also new at ranting.
I know i have something to rant about. But my nerd culture is just not yet at the level.
I have been taught by a mate to used linux and started vanilla javascript. We use intellj as IDE.
So i have to speak to this client whose previous IT provider was gonna code his thing with ASP and visual studio!!!
Right?! WTF?!!! But that`s all i got!!!!
Im pretty sure its a wtf?! But i don`t have the rock solid reasons why.
Please ranters help me become better at rantong and tell me i`m not wrong and why ;)9 -
OK what the actual fuck is going on within this company.
TL;DR: Spaghetti Copy/Pasted code that made me mad because it's just a mess
I just looked into a code file to search for a specific procedure regarding the creation of invoices.
I thought "Oh this is gonna be a quick look-through of like 1000 lines MAX" turns out this script is 11317 fucking lines long and most of it's logic is written there multiple (up to 6-7 times). And I'm not talking about a simple 10 lines or something. No! Logic of over 300 lines.. copy & pasted over .. and over .. and over?! I mean what the fuck did this guy drink when he wrote this.
Alsooo 10000 of those 11317 lines is ONE FUNCTION.. I kid you not! It's just a gigantic if / else if construct that, as I said before, contains copy-pasted code all over the place.
Sadly my TL thinks that code cleanup / optimization is "not necessary as long as it works" like wtf dude. If anyone wants to ever fix something in this mess or add a new feature they take a few hours longer just to "adjust" to this fucking shit.
This is a nightmare. The worst part: This is not the only script that has shit like this. We got over 150 "modules" (Yeah, we ATTEMPTED something OOP-ish but failed miserably) that sometimes have over 15000 lines which could be easily cut down to 1/3 and/or splitted into multiple files.
Let's not start about centralization of methods or encoding handling or coding standards or work code review or .. you get the point because there's a character limit for one rant and I guess I'd overshoot that by a lot if I'd start with that. Holy shit I can't wait until my internship is over and I can leave this code-hell!!2 -
How on earth can you have a good relationship with your client if he can't tell the difference between an App and a website.
Seriously, wtf.
Were not in the "I didn't realize it was an app-looking webpage on Chrome" case, which is fairly common and even normal, if the webpage is designed to behave and look like a native app.
We're in the "I didn't know apps and browsing webpages were different things" case.
Seriously, some people have the ability to fucking use, breathe and even master some technologies without getting to know even the most basic fundaments.
We might stop bettering our UXs. We need to make things more complicated and make users figure out things by themselves. -
Microsoft is fucking kidding me with the fall creators update, default onscreen keyboard is so tiny (that little black box below the login form) that the letters are rendered indistinguishable and you can hardly touch them with your finger. WTF?!?!
4 -
Just checked the uptime of my pc, thougt about 5-6 days of uptime... wtf happend to me the last 3 weeks?
3 -
So I just heard that Bitcoins are illegal in my country. Like WTF? This is outrageous! Are you that much of a control freak that you couldn't allow a cryptocurrency to run, government? You and your taxes and shits!!! Ughhhh!
On another note, the cryptocurrency is indeed growing its boundaries. What are your opinions on it? Do you think maybe one day it will replace all conventional form of currency as we know it today? If yes, how long will it take?6 -
wtf boss!!!! Is it so hard to understand that having one column per year is a horrible bad practice?9
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Me: There is a bug in the most recent "standard global software" release that causes data not to send properly to the device. There are 3 ways to send the same data to the device in the current release but they apparently don't do the same thing like they should. (Sent screenshots of the issue)
Standard Dev Support: "it's not a Bug it's a feature. So the development found out, that there are several problems with sending data to devices using "x" method. So they decided to stop "x" function in the latest release. Use "y" method instead."
Me: "X" and "y" methods are both still there. You didn't remove it in the latest release. So it is a fucking bug moron?!?
Wtf!!!!!1 -
In romania's parlament, the opposition lit their phone's flashlights as the street's protesters did every evening within public square.
One of majority's members (leds were headed toward them) said that carriers should provide detailed bills with costs and the senators who lighted up their leds must be charged with spending and abusing public funds because flashlights consume monthly carrier subscription.4 -
Programming in Delphi without any concepz. Done in CS class in school. Like wtf did anyone see delphi even near production?! Teacher did not know any other programming language2
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friend : can you help me modifying my client's website? It's a company profile website so no complicated stuff.
me : let me see...
*it's bulit on opencart*
me : wtf
friend : exactly 😂2 -
Never underestimate the power of a misplaced static in your Java to totally fuck you over.
I was busy with my computer science project for the semester where we have to implement a Sudoku solver without backtracking by using graph theory.
So there I was writing my data structure for the grid when for some reason all the cells were initialized with the value 8.
After a whole night of debugging I was about to start over when I realized I had made my array static.
And boom, it works. WTF!!!!!!!3 -
When your routine security testing causes your work laptop to be seized and held for evidence indefinitely because security operations think it's a rogue laptop.
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So, I was using YT on my phone now since I'm at my family over the holidays. So far so good.
I just noticed, that google apparently cant even make apps good. FFS, I'm playing a YT vid (fullscreen, landscape) and then close fullscreen.
Guess how it looks now:
a) landscape mode
b) portrait mode
c) locked portrait mode until you go back to the fuckin homescreen where it rotates again
WTF YT6 -
Lol. Because there aren’t backend resources available, frontenders are now implementing Backend functionalitiet with JS. -_-‘3
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Government sending me advertisements of some fucking foundation offering payment terminal offers.
Living the times where even own country tries to fuck you using your tax money.
Beautiful. -
When you are discussing about a customer issue with a service that you are using for offer your product and to understand the issue you ask a screenshot.
Later you receive the screenshot in Dutch (we are Italians) and is quite impossible to understand.
Few seconds later you remember that Google Translate for Android support the text recognition and save the day.
I appreciated a lot the Google's service quality also if I block all their trackers.2 -
Why is there no easier way to write an installer for windows app with WiX Toolset than writing everything myself in XML? Wtf!?2
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thought about giving React Native a try (I'm new to nodejs too).
*Downloaded node-v8.11-blah-blah.tar.xz (the LTS version)
*Installed it
*installed the react-native stuff with npm
*created a small app
*npm start
wild warning appears saying I'm using npm 5.6.0 and it has bugs and to use the latest one.
*downloaded more recent node-v9.11-blah-blah.tar.xz
*installed it
*tried again (npm start)
same wild warning again
so, it wants me to use the nightly versions ?
wtf ?3 -
Src: RPi FAQ
me: *wtf!?!*
what is the sense of this?
my option:
option #1: stop production of pi2 and sell only pi3
option #2: sell pi2 fast as a pi3 but without WiFi/BLE etc... if there are tecnical reasons that makes this not possible see Option #1
2 -
In a startup WE: "I want to create airdrone who can detect agression and survey people by flying on the street. I'll call it Big Brother."
WTF dude ?!1 -
"Instead of using languages we all master lets choose language none of us knows and lets use it to build our time constrained business critical platform. Don't worry about the fact we are about a year past deadline" argued leads of another project.
Yeah. About that...
2 -
Long one
So our newest team-mate has made a channel dedicated to make fun of or scrum master, then I send him a pm saying to cut out the childs play, and we need to act professional.
Then he tells me that our scrum master is okay with it, and really looks like he is!
SM said this making jokes about him brings the whole team together and makes us a better team!!
WTF...
Really WTF ... am I the bad guy for caring about my team??3 -
So this "senior" programmer tells me that redux should only connect to the upmost react component and then IT should pass props down..... Like why even use redux then? WTF1
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Made a fresh Windows 7 install and directly wanted to update it. I didn't install or modify anything and the updater is corrupted. Wtf windows?4
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Wtf
A website just prevented me from opening or closing tabs in Chrome by opening a message saying it was unable to connect to the server. I couldn't even see the message as it was displayed on the small screen I didn't look at.
It wouldn't even let me close Chrome!2 -
Right after entering the Office Depot:
Employee: Do you have a computer?
Me: (awkwardly) yes.
Employee: When was the last time you diagnosed your computer?
Me : (wtf) never
Employee: Bring your computer to us, we will do free diagnosis and help you fix issues and bla bla bla ....
I left.2 -
For my bachelor thesis I'm working with Snort (an Intrusion Detection System). Running it on some test pcaps I get X alerts. When I switch the alert output from stdout to a file I get a different number of alerts. When I re-run it, I get yet another number of alerts (on stdout the number is always X)
Wtf?!3 -
IIS curse you and your nuances!
I launch my local web application (which was working fine) and now get CORS errors and 404 not found. Wtf. I clean the solution rebuild, same thing. Then I restart my PC and try again. Same thing.
Then I use Firefox instead if chrome and it magically works. Wtf!
It's hard to fix broken things when they fix themeselves afyer trial and error1 -
Start coding a project for version 7.x, everything works in tests. Deploy it on the server and it doesn't work. Checks version and turns out it is 6.x, ask my manager why didn't he tell me before, he goes like so what, do it for all versions.
I go wtf -
WTF OPPO?
Why assume it's "malicious" when I'm the one that rooted my own phone?
It's even more ridiculous when I'm prompted to SIGN IN OPPO account to maintain the root status. Who's the fucking malicious one now?
This piece of shitty pink notification permanently stuck onto my drawer and I can't seem remove it. GG fucking WP but I'm just going to live with it.
4 -
In Sweden the word for computer is "dator" and the word for data is "data".
However "data" is commonly used as slang for computer by muggles. So when people tell me that they have problems with their "data" I always get the wtf face. -
Getting feedback from a client like: "on mobile left is right and right is left"
Wtf am i supposed to make out of this1 -
So this guy wants me to run offshore stand up meeting parallel to onshore. I have 9 guys who to have speak their updates in 15 mins and the end result is all the blockers are resolved.
Anyone making magic potions here? -
Manager informed me that I need to go on business trip abroad (only 2000+ kilometers, two, perhaps three flight exchanges) in three days at customer's plant for (at least) two weeks. Of course, he only hinted vague details what I should/would do there. I must admit that I'm a bit baffled but ...
Please note that, because of health issues, i didn't leave home town for more than 5 years and didn't leave country for more than 20 years. ;)
Oh, joy ...4 -
Gitlab as a product is awesome, the real wtf is the processes (manual, automated or otherwise) and people supporting their cloud offering.3
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So they built a ionic app for compatibility between android and iOS now they are gonna keep ionic for android and build from scratch with react native for iOS... Am I missing something? Is that right? Am I sleeping?
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Today, I saw a car has NationalGeographic tag on it but drives just like Dakar Rally, wtf with this people :/
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Think im going to cry,
Just got asked to help set up visual studio,
this person is not even a junior dev,
dont think thats even an excuse tbh,
Thankfully im outa here in a week,5 -
Ok. Kill me now. WTF! This thing gets to 100% and starts all over again? Probably going to mess up Grub. I hate these updates. Restarted twice now!
4 -
I need help trying to explain to my boss. Iframes are going to load slow no matter what. Then he shows a page where a iframe loads pretty. decently well. He fucking doesn't understand that even a blank iframe can slow everything.
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The fuck is up with r/web_programming? At first I thought all the completely uneducated questions were funny, but now it's just frustrating
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After messing around with Laravel 5 for hours on end I finally got it working on production. Turns out everything was correct, but the random key generator command decided to literally put "RandomString" as the 32 character website secret... Wtf Laravel?5
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Yesterday when I came into the office my laptop (in a workstation) could not connect to the internet because of bad ip config. The auto configuration just didn't work...
Solved the problem by opening the laptop-lid for about a second, just wtf -
When you try and compile for iOS using TACO and you get an error message about an android icon file missing *wears the wtf hat*
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That moment when you get to work in the morning, realize that you can't connect to the network, plug in a monitor and keyboard to the server, only to find that my goddamn dhcpd went missing for some reason..
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