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Boss: "I looked at a testing suite. It is $2,500 a license and I'm buying 60 licenses. You should probably get familiar with it."
LeadDev: "Um, we already use NUnit, and it's free."
Boss: "Hmm...I'd better add Pluralsight training in the budget so you can learn about the new program."
LeadDev: "Oh, no...we need new laptops more than we need software."
Boss:"New laptops? Not my budget. When we buy this new software, everyone is going to use it"
LeadDev: "Everyone? How will you monitor it's usage?"
Boss: "I'll have networking send me captures of all the running tasks on the dev machines. The test suite better be running. Writing good tests will be our #1 priority."
LeadDev: "Um, we already write tests using NUnit."
Boss: "I don't understand what you are saying. I need something I can visualize. This UI testing suite is exactly what I need."
LeadDev: "Maybe the testing suite would be better suited for you and QA?"
<click..click>
Boss: "Submitted the budget. There will be a test server available for you to configure. This whole project costs over $100,000, so don't screw it up. Any questions?"
LeadDev: "Oh...well...what server ..."
Boss: "Dang...sorry, I'm taking off the rest of the afternoon. We'll talk about this more on Monday. Get started on those Pluralsight videos. I'll expect a full training and deployments by next week. Have a great weekend!"15 -
Yesterday, in a meeting with project stakeholders and a dev was demoing his software when an un-handled exception occurred, causing the app to crash.
Dev: “Oh..that’s weird. Doesn’t do that on my machine. Better look at the log”
- Dev looks at the log and sees the exception was a divide by zero error.
Dev: “Ohhh…yea…the average price calculation, it’s a bug in the database.”
<I burst out laughing>
Me: “That’s funny.”
<Dev manager was not laughing>
DevMgr: “What’s funny about bugs in the database?”
Me: “Divide by zero exceptions are not an indication of a data error, it’s a bug in the code.”
Dev: “Uhh…how so? The price factor is zero, which comes from a table, so that’s a bug in the database”
Me: “Jim, will you have sales with a price factor of zero?”
StakeholderJim: “Yea, for add-on items that we’re not putting on sale. Hats, gloves, things like that.”
Dev: “Steve, did anyone tell you the factor could be zero?”
DBA-Steve: “Uh...no…just that the value couldn’t be null. You guys can put whatever you want.”
DevMgr: “So, how will you fix this bug?”
DBA-Steve: “Bug? …oh…um…I guess I could default the value to 1.”
Dev: “What if the user types in a zero? Can you switch it to a 1?”
Me: “Or you check the factor value before you try to divide. That will fix the exception and Steve won’t have to do anything.”
<awkward couple of seconds of silence>
DevMgr: “Lets wrap this up. Steve, go ahead and make the necessary database changes to make sure the factor is never zero.”
StakeholderJim: “That doesn’t sound right. Add-on items should never have a factor. A value of 1 could screw up the average.”
Dev: “Don’t worry, we’ll know the difference.”
<everyone seems happy and leaves the meeting>
I completely lost any sort of brain power to say anything after Dev said that. All the little voices kept saying were ‘WTF? WTF just happened? No really…W T F just happened!?’ over and over. I still have no idea on how to articulate to anyone with any sort of sense about what happened. Thanks DevRant for letting me rant.16 -
I had to go help marketing with a website UI issue today:
Me: What version of IE are you using?
Her: Oh my god! Did you say virgin?
Me: No, "Version".
Her: Hahaha you guys I thought he asked what virgin am I using!
*room erupts into laughter*
WTF is this high school?12 -
*Looking at other student’s code*
Me: Why do you have a line that only says “var != var2”? That doesn’t do anything.
Them: That tells the computer to set var to anything except var2, right?
Me:
10 -
I work at a small company that uses very outdated coding approaches for their solutions.
About a year ago I went through our main application to improve performance and found quite a few areas that I could tackle such as using a dictionary data structure in place of (many) foreach loops that required to pull out a single object.
That specific change yielded a lot of improvement (you can only imagine) and the other developers wanted to learn the ways of dictionaries (because it was so revolutionary and new to them). I showed them many examples so that they could better understand this data structure.
Fast forward to a few months later, saw one of my coworker's code and noticed that they were using a dictionary... And iterating through each kvp similar to a foreach..... Wtf?!
P.S. that person's salary is much higher than mine :(
First time rant. Thanks for listening!
10 -
A guy in the office just bursted out "9gag is getting boring... I wish there was a community for devs and stuff...". The entire team just stared at him xD9
-
My company doesn't allows or uses Wi-Fi. It's too dangerous... Like fucking really. We also don't use a repository. We version stuff by dates folders. Yes we are a ecommerce business.28
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*On a programming support forum*
Guy: My compiler keeps throwing null pointer exception at line 128.
Me: Ok. Can you post your code real quick so I could figure out what is null at line 128?
Guy: No I'm not going to show my code to someone on the internet. What if you want to steal my code?
My mind: "Dude wtf why would I steal someone's code on a support forum?"
Me: *Use the next 15 minutes explaining that showing the code is necessary so that others can actually help him, and that no one on a support forum is going to steal his code.*
Guy: "You know what I'm more convinced that you want to copy my code. I might as well just try to fix this on my own."
What?15 -
Job interview for junior dev position:
Recruiter: Implement stack
Me: Here you go *typical C++ stack implementation, struct node, push, pop*
Recruiter: This is classical over engineering, you should just inherit from std::stack
Me: wtf?15 -
!dev
*me and the guys are eating bananas on the table, and my Tech Lead is passing by
Me: *chomp
TL: deeper, you need to go deeper
[everyone lost it]
Me: *chokes, dude wtf,
Friend: there's still some, you want?
TL: oh no, thank you..., I would prefer some thicker ones
[everybody chokes]9 -
Trying to login...
"Sorry your password is expired. You have to change the password every 60 days".
«Oooh, c'mon...» Inserting a new password...
"The password must contain at least 1 lowercase letter, 1 uppercase letter, 2 numbers and 1 non-alphanumeric character.
«Please, fuck off and die...» Typing again and eventually entering to private area...
My phone vibrate, there is a new SMS: "Your new password is H0lySh1t!"
WTF. Are you serious?14 -
Last year I got an Acer notebook from a guy that stated that "it isn't working". "Okay" I thought, let's boot it up.
> Screen turns on, no splash screen, no hard drive activity
> Well fuck
> Tries to enter BIOS, nothing
> Openes case to reset CMOS
> Nothing
> Okay I think I need to flash a new BIOS
> Acer support site
> "Download the exe to flash the BIOS"
> What
> Spend two hours researching
> Find out that you can flash via USB and by pressing a key combination
> Extract the BIOS binary from the exe file
> Flash it on the notebook
> Splash screen and working BIOS
> Yay!!!
> No bootable devices found
> Fuck
> Connects hdd with test bench
> Completely fucking dead
> WTF
> Order a new hard drive
> 3 days later
> Install hdd
> Install Windows
> Finally working
WTF did you do to this notebook to not only mechanically break your hdd but also fuck up the BIOS completely??!!14 -
Me: Junior, do not touch this server
Junior: ok
-- some weeks later --
Junior: the server does not boot!
Me: What!?
Junior: i have tried to make x and y changes
Me: What!? In a production server?
Junior: Yes
WTF Junior!?10 -
I read your CV and i called you for this interview but now i see that you are not qualified for this position.
You have to be certified by CISCO as a Software Developer.
That was the moment I knew he is a fucktard.1 -
"Cricket Exchange App"
1Million downloads - 4.9* Rating
Was quiet interested
Installed and opened
And wtf is this?
17 -
!dev but fuck it.
I'd like to talk to the interior designers of the new dutch NS sprinter trains.
Who in the flying FUCK puts the SOS button right where you'd rest your shoulder at the STANDING SEATS?!?
SERIOUSLY HOW FUCKING RETARDED CAN YOU BE? YES I ACCIDENTALLY LEANED AGAINST ONE TODAY.
What the actual fuck.21 -
User Ip Address is too long (maximum is 30 characters).
Okay, dear third-party API, I guess users with IPv6 don't deserve the service... And wtf is 30-char limit for an IP address, when IPv4 can be only 15 characters long, and IPv6 can be up to 39 characters? Did you calculate a weighted average of IP length to get that number?11 -
Last week
Customer: I want <totally useless app idea that already exists>, how long will it take to build it?
Me: I think such an app already exists, but according to your requirements I believe we could finish it around May 6th.
Customer: OK, but our app will be so much better.
-finishes meeting and signs contract-
Monday
Customer: will the app be done soon?
Me: as we discussed in the meeting last week, it won’t be done until May 6th.
Tuesday
Customer: will the app be done soon, when will it be in the app stores?
Me: As I explained yesterday, it won’t be finished before May 6th.
Wtf????9 -
Had this with a relative. His laptop wasn't turning on, with or without charger so he brought it back to the store to fix it. It ran elementary os by the way (detail for later). Then he got it back after a week and we booted it and it had windows 8 installed (wtf indeed). So we called the service desk to ask about it since the issue was a broken charger (!!!). Their reply: oh yeah there was a weird system installed on it so we thought we'd reset it as well for you.
SERIOUSLY, THAT'S NOT YOUR FUCKING JOB!!
He is not tech savvy and he didn't know much about backups so that was literally about one year of work GONE. Yeah, I setup a cloud backup sync thingy for him right after that.7 -
That facepalm moment when the client rejects your code saying it's too small, and it might contain bugs.6
-
Where dafuq is the tabs or spaces?!?!?
They are trying to teach people to code... But they don't use any tabs or spaces in their examples. Wtf. You are breeding shit coders.
17 -
My company just asked me make a 4k VR headset in 30 days , i said ok and then went to bathroom and cried for like 5 mins straight8
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Me and co-worker troubleshooting why he can't run the docker container for database.
Me: Check if the port is busy.
Co-worker: To my knowledge, it isn't.
Me: Strange, it just works fine for me and everyone else.
Me: And you're sure you didn't already start it previously?
*We verify that it isn't running*
Me: I'm pretty sure the port is busy from that error message. Try another port.
Co-worker: Already did, it didn't work.
Me: And by any chance restarting your machine won't solve anything?
*It doesn't solve anything*
Me: Alright, I have some work to do, but I'll get back to this. Tell me if you find a solution.
Co-worker: Alright.
*** Time passes, when I get back he has switched to windows, dualboot, same machine ***
Me: I don't think you'll have a better time running the docker image on windows.
Co-worker: Oh, that's not what I'm looking for. You see, I had a database on my windows partition recently and I thought maybe thats why it won't start.
Me (screaming internally) : WTF ARE YOU STUPID, WINDOWS AND LINUX ISNT RUNNING AT THE SAME FUCKING TIME.
Me (actually saying): I don't think computers work like that.
Co-worker: My computer is magical. It does strange things.
Me: That's a logical conclusion.
*** More time passes ***
Co-worker solves the problem. The port was busy because Ubuntu was already running PostgreSQL on that port.
Third co-worker shimes in: Oh yeah, I had the exact same problem and it took me a long time to solve it.
Everyone is sitting in arms reach of each other.
So not only was I right from the start. Someone else heard this whole conversation and didn't chime in with his solution. And the troubleshooting step of booting into windows and looking if a database is running there ???? Wtf
Why was I put on this Earth?7 -
Me: I have been doing really similar tasks I'm going to spend some time making a template for it.
Supervisor: ok just don't spend to much time on it we have a lot to do.
Me: shouldn't take too long
1 hour later.
Supervisor : how's the work going.
Me: almost done with the template.
Supervisor: this is taking you way to long I need you to just get back to work.
Me: ok
He leaves and I continue work on the template.
30 mins later.
Show him the template.
Me: I cut my time on this specific task by 80%
Supervisor: good job glad I knew you should do it.
WTF YOU WERE TELLING ME NOT TO.5 -
Two thousand fucking eighteen people!!!!
Stop this non sense "get a plane" for a fucking meeting that could be a fucking video conference.
Wtf? Everyone here seems to be addicted to flying, specially upper management... And if we need a new switch to keep the network running? Oh, for that we have no money :)5 -
This is one of the most unexpected, silly and ridiculous behaviors of MySQL: it doesn't support LIMIT in sub-queries, however it perfectly supports it in sub-sub-queries. WTF.
10 -
Me reviewing some high school level exams after an Excel course.
"hmmm the next question is 'what does the symbol $ mean when found inside a FORMULA in Excel' ... Let's see what they answered..."
* "it's the symbol for DOLLARS" <-- well, he tried
* "I don't know" <-- mmh ok, he doesn't know
* "it can be either a plus or a minus" <-- mmmh maybe the interpreter will just figure out the correct one
* "it's used to keep an index fixed when you copy/drag the formula" <-- nice, someone who actually followed the lesson or at least knows how to google things when the teacher doesn't see
* "it's the symbol for POUNDS" <-- WTF!! Wait a moment: POUNDS???? Have you ever lived a single moment in this world? -
I just had the most bizarre experience of my life. I handed in my resignation letter today. About an hour later, the CEO comes and collects me, takes me into his office, and rants about me leaving and other random not even tangentially related bullshit. Accusing me of not believing in the company and not talking to him. I have no idea if I'm fired.9
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WTF Apple! That new name is longer than Empire State building! on the right how it was, on the left how it will be if I migrate to Swift 4.2 ...
9 -
When the entire platform mysteriously goes down for a half hour at 11pm ON A SATURDAY AND YOU'RE THE ONLY PERSON WHO WORKS ON IT GOOD GOD SERIOUSLY YOU'VE GOT TO BE SHITTING ME I JUST WANT TO SLEEP
WHOEVER DID THIS I WILL FIND YOU AND I WILL KILL YOU3 -
Sure. Just unplug my ethernet cable without asking. Not like I'm trying to work or anything, right?1
-
So my friend, who owns a restaurant, asked me over 6 months ago, if i could redesign his homepage. I told him "sure why not" and since we're friends i didn't want him to pay me any money.
He told me what his thoughts about the design were and i told him that i needed the menu, some decent pictures of the restaurant, the "about us" story and the credentials to the server.
He didn't know the credentials to his server and i told him to ask the person, who made that page to send me the information i needed, but he kept on saying "could you call her because blah blah". Well, i did but she couldn't give me that info without asking the owner. So i met him and told him "hey i told you so, because it's completely normal not give sensible information to unknown people and besides that she told me to tell you that you should give her a call, because she hasn't got your new phone number". Two months later i got an email with the credentials, but still no menu and no pictures.
Four days ago i made a transition page, because i didn't want to publish the page with stock images and without menu, so i wrote him again whether he wanted design #1 or #2. Got a text at ~21:00 saying "design 2, but you need to publish it at 22:00".
I mean wtf?! He assured me he would call some people he knows to get those things. I told him, that it would be free, because of our friendship, but no support from him and he keeps stressing?! He knows i've got a full-time job and my studies going on, so my time is really limited and he keeps fking around like that?! Man it pisses me really off...12 -
Wtf is facebook doing. I noticed that instagram updated through facebook app installer instead of play store. Went to see all apps and these thre ware there out of thin air. They warent there when i bought the phone, but they are system apps. So i must have gotten them through an update. Fuck this
17 -
Beginning of a Hackaton and the CTO calls everyone up and tries to instigate everyone with this gem:
"Challenge yourself and what we have. For example, instead of AWS use Swagger."
🤨
Nobody says anything but has the same WTF expression ... How do these person become tech lead?2 -
That moment when you are at the hospital and your wife just gave birth. Boss is calling:
-Hi! congratulations on a baby!
-Thanks.
-I need something quick from you...
*connects me to live presentation with a client*
I said "Hi everyone!" and ended the call...
Didn't pick up since..
6 -
After years or Windows, I bought a Mac.
It is a shitty OS.
Resizing windows? Nope
Uninstallign apps easy (some) ? Nope
Show/Hide files easy? Nope
Jump between chrome windows? Nope
Wtf is wrong with you Apple?34 -
Came back from vacation today to find out that some FUCKTURD PIECE OF SHIT deleted my virtual server!! Tried to find any traces on who that SHITFACED NUTSACK was without luck. This server is hosting several websites, some having files and data stretching over more than 10 years! Spent the day praying to GOD that my equally old backup scripts had run and where the FLYING FUCK those files were saved. Luckily the script had worked and I found a recent backup so now I can start the restore process on another machine. But still. WTF!!??5
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Who the fuck doesn't use responsive design. Oh yeah my Job. Thank God I quit Friday. Fuck this old ass dirt company4
-
so, yesterday I configured a server for a production,
today I rushed into the room only to find a server with KDE plasma installed, Pycharm editor and a browser open.
WTF, how long until all developers realize that a terminal is a UI.2 -
Someone posted a picture of a porn actress(like a *new* actress) that looks exactly like my manager.....bruh this is killing me she looks exactly like my manager to the point that it is freaking me out thinking that she has a gig on the side or something
I can't get over this.
This is what happens when your manager is insanely attractive.
Internet wtf.
No i am not posting pictures.55 -
Microsoft is bring Edge browser to Android and iOs.
Wtf?
"one of the most common requests we hear from people who use Microsoft Edge on Windows 10 pcs is we want our browser experience to move to our phones"
I think you'll also find another common request is for you to actually finish the damn thing and make it usable.18 -
YouTube: Wait 5 seconds to skip this ad.
Me: Ooo this ad looks interesting.
*Watches for 15 seconds*
Me: Nah I'll watch my video now.
*Presses "Skip Ad"*
YouTube: Oh you like ads? How bout I give you another one right away? And this time you can't skip it!
Me: WTF???
(For those wondering, I usually don't mind YouTube ads. I have Pi-hole running on my network to block other ads)7 -
A LOT of this article makes me fairly upset. (Second screenshot in comments). Sure, Java is difficult, especially as an introductory language, but fuck me, replace it with ANYTHING OTHER THAN JAVASCRIPT PLEASE. JavaScript is not a good language to learn from - it is cheaty and makes script kiddies, not programmers. Fuck, they went from a strong-typed, verbose language to a shit show where you can turn an integer into a function without so much as a peep from the interpreter.
And fUCK ME WHY NOT PYTHON?? It's a weak typed but dynamic language that FORCES good indentation and actually has ACCESS TO THE FILE SYSTEM instead of just the web APIs that don't let you do SHIT compared to what you SHOULD learn.
OH AND TO PUT THE ICING ON THE CAKE, the article was comparing hello worlds, and they did the whole Java thing right but used ALERT instead of CONSOLE.LOG for JavaScript??? Sure, you can communicate with the user that way too but if you're comparing the languages, write text to the console in both languages, don't write text to the console in Java and use the alert api in JavaScript.
Fuck you Stanford, I expected better you shitty cockmunchers.
32 -
var { name: x } = person
Day 1 : that's some good ES6 code man, I'm so 2017
Day 5 : Oh yeah I think it works, dont really remember
Day 17 : WTF is that ? Is that even Javascript ?10 -
The other day I was looking for my wallet and the first thing that crossed my mind was "Ctrl + F" please tell me I'm not crazy5
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When you're working on a very complex client/server project in 7 open Solutions and changes in about 100 classes and your project manger gives you a "very important text align issue" that you have to fix immediately 😒1
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In 2017, who the hell goes to market with an app written in VB using SQL?????? Especially in the IoT space.
Are you kidding me? Even back when this project started, it was a dead language already.
I can't even.4 -
Just received this beauty by a customer. They "made some changes to the HTML". WTF?! Also, alongside was another docx called "printscreen.docx" with only a picture and nothing more in it. I would really like to laugh, but it would evolve into sad, depressing crying.
(Sorry for the "screenshot", but this is on a very restricted Winshit laptop we got from the company who buys our stuff.)
4 -
Wtf? Who parties in the middle of the week?
My Alcoludo game has been installed on 96 devices yesterday, when normally average daily installations are between 1 to 10. Not that I'm complaining 😅
8 -
It took 2 fucking days for the network team to assign permission to my username to access 2 x dedicated servers on the network.
Like dude WTF, it's a 5 (max) minute job. I'm not judging just saying.2 -
javascript... the language where your code works even if you forget ';' and declaring your variables.
wtf7 -
So I went with a friend to a printing company today and asked this gem: "so , will you print the white too?"
Before he answered I realized my momentary retardness and said: "wtf, what a stupid question."
I think I need some rest 😂😂2 -
How do you schedule me for an interview and not tell me that you did?
Then you don't reply to my follow up and actually get angry that I didn't show up.
Wtf1 -
What the actual fuck?!!! ifconfig: command not found even after installing net-tools, just wtf
Who the fuck thought replacing nicely formated output of ifconfig with that garbage that "ip a" shits out was a good idea?!!
I will hate whoever did that until they burn in hell11 -
Wtf is going on with developers these days?
I just applied for a job (through some online job thing) for the holidays and they had questions like "Do you have relatives working for our company?" and I'm like noooo. So when I wanted to submit the form the field of my relatives name working for the company was marked with a notice "pls fill me in". And that was not the only field behaving like that. There were like 10 of them.
So now I wanted to install mono develop to learn some c# and gui development and they give me this
9 -
So i just read an article by The Verge on some good and bad things about the pixel 2.
Listed as a con: "Pixel 2 and Pixel 2 XL... have the same camera"
HOW THE FUCK IS THAT A BAD THING!?
So it's bad that they don't cut down the camera on the cheaper phone to make the XL more appealing?
I really don't get wtf they're on about...20 -
Been programming Java for a few weeks now, and WTF is this, Java?!
"Example".equals("Example")
What is wrong with the form that a dozen of other languages use?
"Example" == "Example"
P. S. If you don't know Java, the latter one compares for the type of objects and always returns true in this case.15 -
That annoying co-worker that asks you each and everything about programming and when you tell them, they be like "Oh I already knew that"
WTF Bitch!3 -
So I finally graduated and got a job with a startup. I had to move to a different province to join it.
Hmm, ok sure. I spent a month planning and buying stuff, rented an apartment etc.
All set right? Plot twist.....
Just about 15 hours before moving there, I get a call that investors backed off from investment and my position was cancelled.
Wtf? Did it just happen? I even rejected a big company offer for this and I am unemployed still!!! Can't believe what can happen sometimes....7 -
my mum just sent me a picture of her and my long time no see cousin from US over WhatsApp. Short time after that, Facebook sent me a friend proposal of a girl from US I don't know - obviously it was my cousins girlfriend because she had a profile picture with him. My cousin doesn't have Facebook.
WTF?!
so what Facebook did must have been some face analysis of the picture my mum sent me over WhatsApp and compared my cousins face with profile pictures from friends of my friends to send me the proposal I got.
this is so fucking scary! I immediately thought of @linuxxx security blog and how my usage of such software affects the privacy of others besides me being transparent as fuck.
Definitely have to rethink my software choices and app/online behaviour!11 -
What the literal fuck? This is an ad targeting devs. They don't even know what a fucking programming language is.
https://youtube.com/watch/...4 -
My mum just had to call me to change our home WiFi password, because she can't change it on her laptop.
She's pretty bad with technology, but she had to call me to do it, because no one else knew how to. Including my brother-in-law who designs IT systems for major banks and system admins working for the government.
She had to call me, from Hungary to do it. I live in Scotland.4 -
I'm currently developing an integration to an API and I found out a bug.
So I asked the contact person for the API if this feature was intentional. I did this on their forum for the API and I sent it as a private message to him.
I got a response telling me that they dont have the "sufficient details" to answer my question and that they would investigate the feature "comprehensivley".
5 minutes later I see a post on the forum in the developer section from the contact dude and it was my fucking question.
So now he's asking the users of the API if his and his companys own bug is intentional.
What the actual fuck?!
Is this how you investigate things "comprehensivley"? -
Me: I deprecate a react component, because it's bloated and no longer makes sense, and I let everyone on the team know that we're working to get rid of that component
Other Dev: Hmm, if I copy this component for every time that it is used, rename all of my copy's and delete the original, I got rid of the deprecated component...
Me: After hearing that deprecated component was removed... "Good job other Dev"
Me: A couple of weeks later after dev leaves company and I start adding some new features to the app "WTF" -
WTF Woke up this morning and found my email used to register to a website called fiverr.com!!
What is even worse is that at the end of the email where they have that section of: this email was sent to ..., the name is random letters
Even more ironic that website does not allow access from Lebanon ....
I think it is time to change my email, been getting a lot of spam into my inbox lately, though Gmail has a good spam filter :\6 -
Wtf Microsoft ?!?
Clean install of windows 10 pro, got everything set up, now Microsoft Store does not work because I need an app to open ms-windows-store ?!?
Common answers found on Google does not solve the problem -_-
6 -
It fucking annoys me when some people at my work place pronounce GUI as "gooey"! what the fuck!
* Gooey team has done this... Blah blah *
Wtf gooey? What? Who d fuck says G U I gooey... 👿👿31 -
I was trying to understand the source code of aircrack-ng which is written in C today.
Suddenly I saw sth strange !
WTF !! what is #ifdef ??? I've never seen that before !
So I told myself : hey ! You have to download a complete C programming course!
so I did , but when I skimmed through the titles , again:
WTF ! I know all of them! So why the fuck I could not fully understand the code ? Where can I find anything I missed ?
So... I'm asking U :)14 -
*Runs MySQL benchmark on a new server*
Result: 30 read queries a second.
*Hmm.... that can't be right...."
*Creates simple node benchmark script and runs it*
Result: 400-500 read queries a second.
Wtf mysql...
8 -
The game we have all been waiting for is here!!
http://store.steampowered.com/agech...
o wait....wtf
1 -
Client doesn't have any idea what pages/links they want for their website. Same client told me to call the guy who recommended me to him for the project brief...wtf...I mean WTF!!!
5 -
My friend told me that he has a bug in his C code. He said that he uses C for 2 years. I started gdb and solved the bug in no time.
He was suprised wtf is gdb. Like wtf how can you code in C and never use gdb ?7 -
When i started my work I encoubtered this db(one of 4): more than 20 tables, some with 200 columns literally... EVERYTHING is a varchar 😓.
I'm slowly designing some normalized tables with real fk on new features and projects and people are like: how the fuck did you implement this feature so fast? the other guy spent 3 months designing this form (and I'm just speechless):
The form was some sort of crazyness shit passing input names as "name-of-property" and a file only to check if(name="string") then store a number value to an array and save it as a "number" (actually varchar) on the db. literally more than 50 if statements to do this.
Everything on a single table that made no sense at all.
Just wtf... At least my boss let me start if from scratch cause he we were always having panick attacks every time he needed to do something with it. 😂😂6 -
Just found out that our front-end intern that has been here for more than 4 months don't know about "onchange" events!!!
wtf man? I'm back end and know this shit...2 -
*in Sprint planning listening to my PM creating tasks*
PM (to Team): So this will be an MVP we can expand on in the future. Do let me know upfront if any tasks should not be in the Sprint.
Team Manager (to PM): Let's see... Yeah I think you've nailed it... Good.
Developer (to Team): Guys, I see the task for the frontend team to integrate machine learning doesn't have any details.
PM (to Developer): Ooh machine learning! Good catch!
PM (to Team Manager): This was one of the tasks we really needed this quarter, will we still be on track?
Team Manager (to PM): Yeah no worries we'll add it as part of the MVP design in Confluence.
PM: Okay assigning the task now. *Assigns to Developer*
*Team Manager goes on 1 month vacation*
Me (thinking to myself): Wtf3 -
Slack is cool and all... But do we really have to have an "account per team" ? Damn I cringed so hard when I was setting up two-factor authentication and realized it was this way... Wtf...6
-
I'm literally the only one who locks the screen here at work.
Always makes me wanna do something to teach then.
My boss always leaves the screen unlocked with sublime opened and goes to lunch!
I think someday he was logged into production also...
And I'm like: seriously? wtf...
I lock my screen even when I'm home alone... yes I'm that paranoid...
No one is gonna "Greek question mark" me 😂18 -
The WTF moment when I realized that the main production DB server was configured with **dynamic** private IP. After maintenance upgrade and reboot the rest of environment stopped. When I explained to sys admin what caused the production breakdown hi still did not get that :/3
-
A few days ago I had a party with a big part of my good ol' highschool classmates who I almost never spoke to. Let the stories begin:
- Guy who made fun me in when I said I wanted to do computer science: "Man, I wish I had done the same study. It looks fun."
- Guy who has a startup for like 1 year: "Sooo what are you good at, ios/android development? webdevelopment? contact me if you want to work with us.(for free)"
- One of the friendly guys: "Do you have any sites where I can learn some basic programming or something?"
What I thought: WTF HAPPEND IN THOSE 3 YEARS, WHY THE SUDDEN INTEREST IN PROGRAMMING AND STUFF?! ESPECIALLY YOU FIRST GUY!3 -
If this isn't the worst thing.
I was asked to develop a WordPress plugin as an intern developer and I've been on it since last week. I got stuck when i finally had the loops running but couldn't find a way to format the output without overwriting the existing values on each iteration.
For the last one week I've been showing the progress on my code to the CTO and this is how it has been.
Me: Hello. Everything is coming along fine, I have most of the functions running properly, do you mind looking into the algorithm?
CTO: Oh not at all, let's see what you got. Omg great code for an intern. I think you should add a new variable there and maybe clean up that function over there because it's deprecated now and yeah HaHa, Great work.
Me: Thanks xD I'll have it finished latest next week.
CTO: Oh great. I can't wait to see what you'd have by next week so we can install it on our WordPress.
*Next finally week comes and I'm done with the code.
Me: Hello, I'm done with the entire code! Want to take a look? The plugin works just exactly as described.
*CTO takes a look
CTO: Omg?
Me: Omg?
CTO: This is completely bad programming practice, so you are running 4 nested loops that all send queries to our data base and make changes to data. This would have a very drastic effect on the server considering the traffic we get.
Me: But you saw this exact code last week and said it was okay, I only changed some CSS since the last time.
CTO: Omg, we can't accept this, you have to develop it again from the scratch without using those loops and queries.
Me: What? Okay, fine. Any hints?
CTO: Yes.
Me: What?
CTO: Just start. That's the greatest hint I could ever give. And also, always have a plan before you begin.
Me: Yeah, thanks for those. It's the first time I'm hearing them and they would totally be applicable to building this thing.2 -
My manager tracks progress and issues using Excel.
Asks everyone in the team to put feedback on Trello.
I can't even..... WTF -
One employee explained something to another, while i was walking by.
He: "... now we have 800 instead of 4000 on this Page ..."
Me: "Miliseconds?"
He: "Executed sql querys"
WTF?!?5 -
THOSE PEOPLE/TEACHERS WHO PUT TWO SPACES BETWEEN SENTENCES, WTF IS WRONG WITH YOU. ITS NOT THE FUCKING TYPEWRITER AGE, THE COMPUTER DOES SPACING FOR YOU. MIGHT AS WELL DRAW SERIFS ON WITH A PEN AFTER PRINTING BY THAT LOGIC.10
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fck you visual studio!!! seriously what is wrong with you?!?
~me peacfully writing some code ~
ok let's see what we did
vs: I can't compile that. The key whateverKey in line 15 is not defined.
me: ok let's investigate...
nowhere in line 15 use whateverKey.... ok....
wait I didn't change that file at all.
~me clicking rebuild solution~
vs: can't build that because of whateverKey in line 15.
me : WTF?!?
checking git diff -> file not changed
me okkkkkkk......
closing visual studio and reopening solution.
Build succeeded.
What the actuall hell?!?
I'm spending way too much time trying to get that shity peace of software to do what it is supposed to do!6 -
"Hey, remember when we said we didn't need any of that data, and it was totally okay to design the app without any expectation of needing it, and that it would actually put us behind to add even hooks 'just in case' like you begged? Well, turns out we need it. And we need it right now."
...
"Oh, and this is totally not our fault because you should have just gone ahead and done the thing we told you not to do anyway, on your own time."1 -
Issue or Error? Rant story time!
I was working on a windows desktop app, and everything was ok, you know, tests completed succesfully, all in time, etc. The problem was when we showed the demo to one of our clients. He saw several screens and we explained all the features to him.
Client: *Sees a Error pop-up indicating that a remote service is temporarly unavailable (what it has to happen in order to show him how the system would warn him when an external service is out of service)
Client: What’s that?
Lead dev: What do you mean?
Client: Yes. That’s an error pop-up
Lead dev: Yes, it’s a message that tells you that there was an issue connecting to the bank service
C: No, no and no. Please change it
L: Why? Don’t you want the system to tell you when there is a connection issue and why is that happening?
C: Yes, but my employees could lost their minds because of this class of messages!
L: So...?
C: You have to change it
L: Ok. What do you want to change?
C: First of all, don’t put an “Error” icon, put an “Warning” icon, and instead of “Error” title, put... “Issue”
L: “Issue?”
C: Yeah. Don’t put the “E” word, if the users see an “Error” message, they could think that the program doesn’t work, even if it does work.
We all though “WTF?!”
To make the story shorter, we changed all the pop-ups. That took two days.
Is that correct? I know that “Error” sounds hard but, seriously? “Issue: The remote service is not available, contact your bank?”6 -
Earth to Moon - 238,900 mi
Moon to Earth - 238,900 mi
New york to London - 3,459 mi
London to New york - 3,459 mi
Monday to Friday - 5
Friday to Monday - WTF!!!2 -
Learning Angular, starting with a hello world example:
$ ng new wtf
added 1180 packages from 1294 contributors and audited 21849 packages in 18.753s
found 13 vulnerabilities (9 low, 4 high)
Oh, great! Broken from the get-to! But wait, there's more joy!
$ vimdiff wtf/node_modules/is-odd/node_modules/is-number/index.js wtf/node_modules/is-number/index.js
Fresh project, is-odd requires is-number, the project itself requires is-number. And is-number is there twice in two different versions. The notion of a number must have changed drastically in the last couple of years!
Seriously? Angular doesn't even give me the chance to fuck up the dependencies on my own!
8 -
So a client of mine who I've known a long time referred me to a friend of his for a project. OK great! Quoted the guy a price got the OK but didn't know my client had told this friend they would be paying me for the job. Well I found this out when I went to get payment from the guy. I call my client and he proceeds to tell me "yes we told him we would pay for it but thought it would just be included in our project fee which was already paid".. WTF2
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Overheard: "I'll need to get in touch with my Infrastructure Architecture Innovation Team"
😂🤣😅😂🤣😅
Why not just call them team buzzwords. Omg.3 -
„Please do not ask any questions in the meeting next monday, I don’t want to be embarrassed!“
- The senior giving me and two colleagues an introduction into his field of work...
WTF2 -
First day in new job, decided to take the train because city is so overloaded with cars, it is end of april and snow outside wtf. Best weather for coding :D4
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I've found a job as a junior developer several months ago, but I really want to find another job...
I know, my knowledge and skills aren't superior yet, but I am tired of that feeling of being useless.. I constantly self-educate myself after work and university, but still, I often need to ask co-workers "where's this form?", "wtf is that", "how do I access this"... Plus, their projects are HUGE, but no matter how big the project is, there are 2 to 4 people working on each at a time. And 1 person may work on 2-3 projects. And we are usually late for deadlines :/
Also code quality is meh..
Me: Why do we implement it here?
Co-worker: oh, we don't actually use it, it's just to hide warnings and pass the test.
Holy shit, wtf, I've spent half day trying to figure out wtf is this and why is it not working :/4 -
tldr: maintainers can be assholes
So there's this python package+cli tool that I found interesting while browsing github and thought of contributing to it. Now this repo has around 2000 issues and multiple open PRs so seemed like a good start.
So i submit 2 PRs implementing similar features on different sites (it is a scraping repo). This douche of a maintainer marks comments various errors in the code convention not being followed without specifying what they actually were. Now I had specified that i was new to this repo so and would need his help (I guess this is one of the jobs of the reviewer). This piece of shit comments changes in the pr with one or two word sentences like "again", "wtf" and occasionally psycopathic replies. That son of a bitch can't tell what's wrong like wtf dude, instead of having a long discussion over the comments section of the fucking pr why can't you just point out what exactly is wrong and I'll happily fix that shit, but no, you have to be a douche about out it and employ sarcasm. Well FUCK YOU TOO.1 -
Network manager: administration just canceled our domain registration 2 months before schedule.
Boss: uh.. OK... but can't we make a script to route traffic from www.canceled.com to our server?
Me: that's not how DNS works ( proceed to explain how DNS works )
PS: boss is lead developer... wtf?2 -
CS Teacher today:
"Transport Layer provides Security and Encryption to the communication" (TCP/IP stack)
me: WTF? Encryption is provided on the *top* of the transport layer (aka Application) ( and below [Network Layer] there is IPsec)
Teacher: no, it's wrong.
me: so Wikipedia it's wrong, RFC 5246 is wrong, and you have right?
Teacher: Yes.
me: Ok. (aka fuck you!)2 -
Keep this in mind: I don't like WordPress and PHP at all!!!
So a couple of days ago my boss asked me if I could extend a custom made WordPress plugin made by our intern. First thought: sure why not? Boss says: it has to be done in less than 100 hours of work (an estimate done by my boss and the intern). Me: I can't tell you that before I have seen the code and what functionality has to be in the extension. Boss: Cool, look it over this weekend and tell me if you want to do it or not.
I looked it through and my answer will probably be: NO WHERE IN HELL am I gonna are this in less that 100 hours! 1. no tests has been performed so I have absolutely no clue if his code works.
2. variable names are mostly: $string_query (whatever that means?), $result, $string_temp and so on.
3. Methods and functions are more than 250 lines long, with shitty formatting, and more comments than code. WTF?
4. The estimate has been made by an intern and my boss (doesn't know much about programming). I haven't been consulted about it....
5. No version control. No branches, no commits other than initial commit. Great.
6. Most comments in the code just tells me what I can read from the code. What it returns and what it takes as params. Can I please know wtf your method call named $booking->run () does? I still haven't found this method in the code after 1 hour of intensively looking for it...
FFS man... Not gonna do this, even though I thought it would have been an interesting project initially.
Sorry for the long rant... I just wish the intern would have consulted me about all this shit, since he obviously have bad practices. *sigh*6 -
Whaaaat theeeee actual fuuuuuuuuck. So basically I've got a server running and everything is fine. All services are working and I can access the webserver running on it over every browser. But randomly my ssh access stopped working (can connect but doesn't return shit after last login message) and when loading the web config thingie from my provider it gives me an empty response (all other pages from the provider are working). So basically I've got a working server I cannot access. But I'd like to access it and cannot even restart that shitty thing.
Anybody else had a problem like that or has any idea wtf is going on?5 -
WTF C++?! I liked you, I defended you, I told people about you. Then you go and do shit like this:
int main(int argc, char* argv[])
to
auto main(int argc, char* argv[])->int
Seriously C++ WTF?!15 -
bosses doesn't care about the scope of the projject they just want it to be done fast as possible. It's burning me out. Fuck this..6
-
In a lecture hall
1. Try Listening to lecture
2. Finds it uninteresting
3. Think that you can later learn from video tutorials
4. One day before exam -- No time to learn..3 -
My new colegue at work was tasked with getting familiar with some Java code that had security vulnerability. He complained about slow build time for the first hour and then I stopped paying attention. At the end of day I checked on him and was like wtf how are you still trying to build this.
Turns out he ran Gradle task bootRun and watched logs of working app for 8 hours because he thought that's build xD1 -
Hate these managers.
I started working on a company 6 months back. When i joined i was told such amazing things about this place. I was given a job to develop a tool for a client. I did that alone. Now that the final deployment is done i am not needed there any more. I can start looking for outside work. WTF why would you hire a guy if you want him to work for only 3-4 months when you can hire a consultant or someone on contract or mention that in beginning. Fuck you even i want to leave this place now as soon as possible but still have to see their stupid faces for next 2 weeks.2 -
Don't you love it when you're in a full-on creative mood but the whole universe is somehow working against you doing anything productive?
Woke up in the morning with bright ideas for my app. But my PC restarted and my IDE crashed. After getting the IDE up, the project no longer builds. After spending hours to try and fix it, reinstall IDE and ............... voila............... everything works. I mean WTF?1 -
WHAT THE FUCKING SHIT DO YOU WANT FROM ME??! I LITERALLY GET SPAM MAILS EVERY 5 MINUTES (i know I know, some of you get more than that) ABOUT BITCOIN. I NEVER DID ANYTHING FUCKING RELATED TO CRYPTO CURRENCY! HOW DO YOU KNOW MY EMAIL?? LIKE WTF. I'm sitting here doing my stuff and every few minutes my phone starts ringing and I'm like "hey maybe person x answered or something else important happened" but when I actually look at it to see whats up it's just a fucking email about bitcoin being outdated and it tells me to maybe invest into other crypto currencies. After actually reading one of the spam mails because I was interested in what they actually want from me I had to find out that they do not even mention any other currency or website. WTF INTERNET?? WHAT DO YOU WANT?4
-
Bittrex is "amazing"...
I had lost my 2FA a long time ago (as my phone fried) and missed the account ferification deadline which caused my account to get disabled. Off we go to support!
0. Nothing to rant about at this point. I just created an account in their zendesk, logged in and logged a ticket to reset my 2FA and reactivate my account. They asked me for info, I provided it to them and got my 2FA disabled. Hooray!
1. I then asked to reenable my account. They sent me a link to restart the verification process. I open up that link and log in. I'm asked to upload some photos. I select requested photos from my galery and hit [UPLOAD]. An error pops up saying that smth wrong happened and I need to reload that site and reupload my photos. After page refresh they are telling me they are validating my uploaded info (w/o any way to resubmit my info, which, according to the error seen below, was not successfully submitted in the first place)...
2. So I reach out to the support guy again. Guess what he replies! He says he's sorry but he cannot help me any more and I need to create a NEW ACCOUNT in their support site with the same email <???!!!???>
3. I try to log in to the support portal and my access no longer works. MY ACCOUNT HAS BEEN DELETED! WTF!!!
4. I do as I'm told and create a new acc with the same email. Now I can log back in. So I'm raising a new ticket saying I still cannot finish my verification process due to the same error. It looks like it's going to be a fun ride with them so I can't wait to see what they'll reply.2 -
I'm a tech lead for a new agile project for a manager who knows nothing about agile. Having to work on a chart that shows exactly how many sprints each milestone will be and when it will complete for like, 17 sprints from now when requirements aren't even set. Wtf?7
-
So.. There are about 4 jobs in my country that even mention golang, and only as an "advantage"
😟 Wow.. learning Go really isn't helping..
Why isn't it used widely as the main language of a dev team?? Too young? Or are there serious issues, that most companies prefer using c#/ruby/python for web dev backend?8 -
was handed a new .NET project (im not a C# guy). i go to spin up a windows 10 machine, i have a 20 gig SSD thinking that would be enough - Windows 10 + Visual studio is 24 gigs???? WTF!!!!2
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Monday
pm: anon we need this by Friday I will get send you the requirements.
Tuesday
Pm no show.
Wednesday afternoon
Pm: here are the requirements anon(literally only one sentence) wtf
Thrusday
Pm: can I test it anon.1 -
> Be me
> Programming for an embedded system
> It's not interruptable
> Got ISR Fault (Interrupt Service Register)
> WTF
> Breakpoints are useless
> WTF
> Comment out some lines
> Turns out it goes ISRF Infinite Loop because of the multi dimensional array of strings
> WTF
> Use pointer intead of defining actual size
> Works
> WTF
WTF?1 -
I've refrained from commenting on which IDE is best and which isn't, what simply works for me is eclipse. So far it handles stuff for me pretty nicely... until today.
Look at this screenshot, can you spot the wtf? Like, SRSLY, WTF.... Might it really be just that DOT at the end or is it just the dot concatenated at the end of the error message?
13 -
Hi devRant, meet the unresettable computer. When you try to reset it, it asks you for a keyboard layout...BUT YOU HAVE NO INPUT DEVICE TO ANSWER! Fucking great...
3 -
I was using Delphi 7 to develop a desktop application in Windows 2000. Every time my application opened the standard Windows open file dialog, I'd get a BSOD but only if I was running the application with debugger attached. Never found out WTF was wrong... Just changed my code not to show the open dialog if IsDebuggerPresent() was True.
-
I am working in a speciffic engineering team. We are using tools the company has bought and has separate teams administrating them.
Tool X is malfunctioning, throwing server-side errors (some .dlls are mentioned in the err msg)
Me: XAdmin team, there are some suspicious errors and I cannot achieve desired results using tool X
XAdmin: Let me see
XAdmin: I have checked a few forums and could not find a solution. Please log a vendor case
Me: *wat........*
Me: Vendor will most likely require some techical info, some licencing info. How do I go about that?
XAdmin: reach out to the vendor, they will schedule a call. Forward that call to me
Me: *wat............*
Me: *for shits and giggles, register a bogus account at vendor site, try to log the SR*
Me: XAdmin, while logging a SR I am asked for licencing info. What is the aaa, bbb, ccc info of your licence?
XAdmin: *crickets mating*
wtf buddy... How can you call yourself Admin of tool X and ask your customers to log vendor cases for you.....? WTF are YOU there for then??
I'm still WTFed. Like wtf....
EDIT: the guy I was talking to is XAdmins' team lead1 -
So I've been maintaining our company's web products for a few years now with a great senior dev, but why would it ever make sense to have a
bool somebool = returnsBool();
if (somebool == true)
...
WTF?!?! I still fine them in the code to this day.6 -
> Developer in a company that builds Enterprise Applications with web client and stuff.
> Had an really nice website a which colleague made with joomla as base.
> New CMO thinks it would be cool if he could change more details.
> Company now uses some cheap ugly website builder.
WTF is wrong with u O.o -
Daily wtf:
Got my new bt headphones. Went to work and plugged my bt stick in the PC. Paired them and double clicked on volume control. Each time i clicked ubuntu froze for 30 sec.4 -
Can anybody here tell wtf answer of this question is?
Most of the quizzes in this test are terrible. Answer to some options don't get displayed because it gets parsed by the browser. I think the person who developed this website and questions suck at this.
5 -
So today's conversation with my co-worker who built our build system...
Me:OS X build server is not building valid installs.
Him:What's the problem?
Me:The KEXT is not rebuild... I think that Jenkins isn't capable of updating the file because of the permissions the script set when you test compiled it manually... Could you please add Jenkins user to sudoers file or something?
Him:Yes of course, but what should I google?
WTF dude? Do you even think yourself? And for some reason no-one has acces to the build servers configs exept for him and he shows up like 3 times a week... -
Was there a recent CSS update or something? My website just broke all of a sudden. I haven't touched anything since last year WTF4
-
So this morning a guy asked me what my work was, I told him I'm a mobile developer, and what the work consists of
Then he came out with a:
"oh I heard that you developers write code, but which code? Something like Morse code or Braille?"
And i was like: "wtf, did he seriously said that?!"
So I jumped right in and replied
"No, actually I see pretty sharp"
... but I think he didn't get it ..uhh so sad :c -
Today someone took a shit and didn't flush...
Normally you have your typical candidates, who are pissing standing in the stalls although there are free urinals, people who don't wash their hands after pissing or just splash like 3 fingers with water. Even not washing hands after taking a dump, which is pretty disgusting... But today? Some dude in the stall next to me took a shit, wiped his butt... and went away... No flushing no washing hands... Wtf is wrong with people?7 -
I am not even at our office yet the PM already sent us multiple emails asking us to do trivial stuff like update excel sheets, file reports, etc... WTF!? Can't you fucking wait till I get to work!?1
-
wtf boss!!!! Is it so hard to understand that having one column per year is a horrible bad practice?9
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What the fuck? Been trying to see rants all day long at work and at home and DevRant was super weird as if I wasnt connected, which I was...
Tested jsrant.com and the api was working...
Connected to a VPN on digital ocean and everything works flawlessly, dinconected from VPN and DevRant is off again...
Now on VPN... Wtf...5 -
Funny story...
Got a small college assignment based on Java and Cassandra(database). The database shell was running fine. Spent 5 days removing the random java exceptions and working on the basic connectivity, searched everywhere on Stack overflow and other forums for solutions and still no help.
So, I decided to write a program that would print only the output as I knew what would be the output when it will run. Took a screenshot of it and made up a cover story to tell my professor that I did it on a friend's computer.
But while I was taking a screenshot of the Eclipse with code window and output window, some random syntax errors popped up.(but they weren't syntax error).
So I created a new project and copied the pom.xml file and the code into the new one(I tried this one before and it didn't work). And there were no errors. So I took a screenshot of it with output of different file and opened a different file.
But then, don't know what came across my mind and I clicked on run just to see if this works, and it worked fine. And now I'm like.. WTF JUST HAPPENED!! -
“This value must be shorter than 20 characters in length.” … password field, bank website, 2016, wtf ¯\_(ツ)_/¯2
-
There was a big hairy ball of SW mud from another project that a poor coworker had to "reuse". Only that it was impossible because there was no documentation, shit was partly auto-generated with mysterious Excel tables, and the actual code was just as bad. No APIs and nothing, just hacking shit into globals, several nested state machines that were overriding each other's states, and with global side effects. WTF.
Two devs took a look at it - minimum 8 weeks. Schedule was some days, and PM insisted that it was "already working". But the worst thing was that the dev in charge had been looking for another job anyway and quit, so the whole clusterfuck suddenly was on my desk.
The code was so awful that I could only bear it with both eyes closed, so I instead read the spec of this project closely. Turned out that it didn't actually demand this feature, only a small subset of what the ball of mud was supposed to achieve - which I was able to implement from scratch within a day, plus another one for documentation. Phew. -
Installing COSU devices. Need to setup 200 Androids. I boot up number 43 and it's set to Chinese language. I switch to English. It registers with the network.. WTF there is a sim card inside. =D And it was in a sealed package.
Now I am a proud owner of some poor bastards China Unicom WO sim card. =D -
Junior asks me to help him with his Microprocessors project. I was like cool mail it to me I'll check it out. He sends me a .s assembly file and tells me this is machine generated code, can you make it look like it's written by a human. I was like wtf dude -_-.
-
I`m new to coding. So i`m also new at ranting.
I know i have something to rant about. But my nerd culture is just not yet at the level.
I have been taught by a mate to used linux and started vanilla javascript. We use intellj as IDE.
So i have to speak to this client whose previous IT provider was gonna code his thing with ASP and visual studio!!!
Right?! WTF?!!! But that`s all i got!!!!
Im pretty sure its a wtf?! But i don`t have the rock solid reasons why.
Please ranters help me become better at rantong and tell me i`m not wrong and why ;)9 -
OK what the actual fuck is going on within this company.
TL;DR: Spaghetti Copy/Pasted code that made me mad because it's just a mess
I just looked into a code file to search for a specific procedure regarding the creation of invoices.
I thought "Oh this is gonna be a quick look-through of like 1000 lines MAX" turns out this script is 11317 fucking lines long and most of it's logic is written there multiple (up to 6-7 times). And I'm not talking about a simple 10 lines or something. No! Logic of over 300 lines.. copy & pasted over .. and over .. and over?! I mean what the fuck did this guy drink when he wrote this.
Alsooo 10000 of those 11317 lines is ONE FUNCTION.. I kid you not! It's just a gigantic if / else if construct that, as I said before, contains copy-pasted code all over the place.
Sadly my TL thinks that code cleanup / optimization is "not necessary as long as it works" like wtf dude. If anyone wants to ever fix something in this mess or add a new feature they take a few hours longer just to "adjust" to this fucking shit.
This is a nightmare. The worst part: This is not the only script that has shit like this. We got over 150 "modules" (Yeah, we ATTEMPTED something OOP-ish but failed miserably) that sometimes have over 15000 lines which could be easily cut down to 1/3 and/or splitted into multiple files.
Let's not start about centralization of methods or encoding handling or coding standards or work code review or .. you get the point because there's a character limit for one rant and I guess I'd overshoot that by a lot if I'd start with that. Holy shit I can't wait until my internship is over and I can leave this code-hell!!2 -
4 months ago, my team had the task of redesigning the login page of our main app. Really nice design. Since it was fairly simple, it was given to one of our summer camp guys to do something useful. After he finished, it was stuck on merge request and no one bothered to check it, as it was not important for our PO's, it simply got forgotten...
Last week, since I was bored and remembered about it, I decided to check it and fix the small issues it had, without telling anything to our PO, just did it, asked for code review and added it to our latest release.
Today I overheard 2 guys from analytics team:
"Hey, have you seen our new login page?"
"There is a new WordPress developer so he just does his job well"
Our application is not in WordPress, only our company's website is!
Our application is in Angular!
There is no new WordPress developer! We only have an offer looking for one!
WTF2 -
friend : can you help me modifying my client's website? It's a company profile website so no complicated stuff.
me : let me see...
*it's bulit on opencart*
me : wtf
friend : exactly 😂1 -
IIS curse you and your nuances!
I launch my local web application (which was working fine) and now get CORS errors and 404 not found. Wtf. I clean the solution rebuild, same thing. Then I restart my PC and try again. Same thing.
Then I use Firefox instead if chrome and it magically works. Wtf!
It's hard to fix broken things when they fix themeselves afyer trial and error2 -
Hey, what do you think about WTF capes for duckies?
Oh I'd put like three of those on a duck and the proceed to throw it at the people that displease me. 😇😈
DevRant issue: https://github.com/devRant/devRant/...1 -
How on earth can you have a good relationship with your client if he can't tell the difference between an App and a website.
Seriously, wtf.
Were not in the "I didn't realize it was an app-looking webpage on Chrome" case, which is fairly common and even normal, if the webpage is designed to behave and look like a native app.
We're in the "I didn't know apps and browsing webpages were different things" case.
Seriously, some people have the ability to fucking use, breathe and even master some technologies without getting to know even the most basic fundaments.
We might stop bettering our UXs. We need to make things more complicated and make users figure out things by themselves. -
Programming in Delphi without any concepz. Done in CS class in school. Like wtf did anyone see delphi even near production?! Teacher did not know any other programming language2
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So I was using Defraggler to defragment one of the partitions on my computer, and somehow ended up with more fragmentation than there were to start with. WTF?!12
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I built an api to sync data between two systems. It is simple, if I have new data to send, I call their api with data. If success, get Json response back or error if not.
Today the guy from other side asked me for "acknowledgement" endpoint. I was literally WTF?
He explained me very clear, when I call their api, it can be either success or fail, so for those success or fail, he will send the response to my "ACKNOWLEDGEMENT ENDPOINT" to tell me if success or not.
*facepalm*8 -
Wtf looking at a Pull Request today for styling 4 buttons...
750 lines of of CSS and not even able to style an anchor!!
How the hell is that even possible!!!1 -
"Instead of using languages we all master lets choose language none of us knows and lets use it to build our time constrained business critical platform. Don't worry about the fact we are about a year past deadline" argued leads of another project.
Yeah. About that...
2 -
Wtf google is that so hard to make it easy to wget/curl some files/folders from google drive? Wtf...2
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>code in c++
>get error on sort function
>try fix the error
>fixed error
>get another error on the line where I declared the variable
>don't change anything
>error at a completely different line
>repeat
>error at another, completely different line
Wtf2 -
So, I was using YT on my phone now since I'm at my family over the holidays. So far so good.
I just noticed, that google apparently cant even make apps good. FFS, I'm playing a YT vid (fullscreen, landscape) and then close fullscreen.
Guess how it looks now:
a) landscape mode
b) portrait mode
c) locked portrait mode until you go back to the fuckin homescreen where it rotates again
WTF YT5 -
Go to this place on maps https://goo.gl/maps/8HUBBxJuvaS2
There's a link to their webpage, click the link, download the file and open it with a text editor.
Wtf 😂🙄5 -
Why is there no easier way to write an installer for windows app with WiX Toolset than writing everything myself in XML? Wtf!?2
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Src: RPi FAQ
me: *wtf!?!*
what is the sense of this?
my option:
option #1: stop production of pi2 and sell only pi3
option #2: sell pi2 fast as a pi3 but without WiFi/BLE etc... if there are tecnical reasons that makes this not possible see Option #1
2 -
So I just heard that Bitcoins are illegal in my country. Like WTF? This is outrageous! Are you that much of a control freak that you couldn't allow a cryptocurrency to run, government? You and your taxes and shits!!! Ughhhh!
On another note, the cryptocurrency is indeed growing its boundaries. What are your opinions on it? Do you think maybe one day it will replace all conventional form of currency as we know it today? If yes, how long will it take?6 -
thought about giving React Native a try (I'm new to nodejs too).
*Downloaded node-v8.11-blah-blah.tar.xz (the LTS version)
*Installed it
*installed the react-native stuff with npm
*created a small app
*npm start
wild warning appears saying I'm using npm 5.6.0 and it has bugs and to use the latest one.
*downloaded more recent node-v9.11-blah-blah.tar.xz
*installed it
*tried again (npm start)
same wild warning again
so, it wants me to use the nightly versions ?
wtf ?3 -
In a startup WE: "I want to create airdrone who can detect agression and survey people by flying on the street. I'll call it Big Brother."
WTF dude ?!1 -
Never underestimate the power of a misplaced static in your Java to totally fuck you over.
I was busy with my computer science project for the semester where we have to implement a Sudoku solver without backtracking by using graph theory.
So there I was writing my data structure for the grid when for some reason all the cells were initialized with the value 8.
After a whole night of debugging I was about to start over when I realized I had made my array static.
And boom, it works. WTF!!!!!!!3 -
Long one
So our newest team-mate has made a channel dedicated to make fun of or scrum master, then I send him a pm saying to cut out the childs play, and we need to act professional.
Then he tells me that our scrum master is okay with it, and really looks like he is!
SM said this making jokes about him brings the whole team together and makes us a better team!!
WTF...
Really WTF ... am I the bad guy for caring about my team??3 -
In Sweden the word for computer is "dator" and the word for data is "data".
However "data" is commonly used as slang for computer by muggles. So when people tell me that they have problems with their "data" I always get the wtf face. -
Start coding a project for version 7.x, everything works in tests. Deploy it on the server and it doesn't work. Checks version and turns out it is 6.x, ask my manager why didn't he tell me before, he goes like so what, do it for all versions.
I go wtf -
So this "senior" programmer tells me that redux should only connect to the upmost react component and then IT should pass props down..... Like why even use redux then? WTF1
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Just checked the uptime of my pc, thougt about 5-6 days of uptime... wtf happend to me the last 3 weeks?
2 -
Fuck this shit. Any socket connection on JIO's fucking network gets dropped after 5 seconds if no data is sent. It's working on any other network. Wtf is going on???
Does anyone have any idea on this?
If someone has jio network please go to https://www.websocket.org/echo.html
And connect and check how long until it gets disconnected. Would be greatful if someone can validate this.
The project I am working on uses websockets extensively and this thing is screwing it up. I have temporarily set websocket ping interval to 3 seconds but what if the f**ckers over at JIO decide to start dropping connections every 1 second?7 -
Wtf
A website just prevented me from opening or closing tabs in Chrome by opening a message saying it was unable to connect to the server. I couldn't even see the message as it was displayed on the small screen I didn't look at.
It wouldn't even let me close Chrome!2 -
Right after entering the Office Depot:
Employee: Do you have a computer?
Me: (awkwardly) yes.
Employee: When was the last time you diagnosed your computer?
Me : (wtf) never
Employee: Bring your computer to us, we will do free diagnosis and help you fix issues and bla bla bla ....
I left.2 -
Me, enables SSL on one domain with cloudflare all went well, even added origin ssl all good.
Friends domain, set up the right and same way, but server says no i have no idea what www.examaple.com is, ... I never created a key for that wtf so right now website are dead .. thanks cf3 -
For my bachelor thesis I'm working with Snort (an Intrusion Detection System). Running it on some test pcaps I get X alerts. When I switch the alert output from stdout to a file I get a different number of alerts. When I re-run it, I get yet another number of alerts (on stdout the number is always X)
Wtf?!3 -
That moment when you get started as a junior frontend and end up having to design a couple databases. I dont know shit about that. 😱 also in between I happen to become sort of unofficial IT staff in this music school. I'm confused. Not a proper rant, but just wtf? At least I'm getting money... someday. Maybe. 😲
At least I'll have my voice and piano lessons covered. 🌟2 -
WTF
npm ERR! publish Failed PUT 403
npm ERR! code E403
npm ERR! You cannot publish over the previously published versions: 1.1.69. : weschemajs
npm ERR! A complete log of this run can be found in:
npm ERR! /Users/lopu/.npm/_logs/2018-09-29T11_20_28_594Z-debug.log
npm ERR! code ELIFECYCLE
npm ERR! errno 1
npm ERR! wepublish@0.0.211 run: `./src/index.sh`
npm ERR! Exit status 1
npm ERR!
npm ERR! Failed at the wepublish@0.0.211 run script.
npm ERR! This is probably not a problem with npm. There is likely additional logging output above.
npm ERR! A complete log of this run can be found in:
npm ERR! /Users/lopu/.npm/_logs/2018-09-29T11_20_28_638Z-debug.log
lopu@lopu-pro:~/Dropbox/git/weyoume/wepublish/dev-wepublish$ npm view weschemajs version
1.1.63
lopu@lopu-pro:~/Dropbox/git/weyoume/wepublish/dev-wepublish$ npm view weschemajs version
1.1.636 -
Getting feedback from a client like: "on mobile left is right and right is left"
Wtf am i supposed to make out of this1 -
Gitlab as a product is awesome, the real wtf is the processes (manual, automated or otherwise) and people supporting their cloud offering.3
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Manager informed me that I need to go on business trip abroad (only 2000+ kilometers, two, perhaps three flight exchanges) in three days at customer's plant for (at least) two weeks. Of course, he only hinted vague details what I should/would do there. I must admit that I'm a bit baffled but ...
Please note that, because of health issues, i didn't leave home town for more than 5 years and didn't leave country for more than 20 years. ;)
Oh, joy ...5 -
goddamnshitmotherfuckingshit wtf brain? why do all the examples just work, but my code looking similar just doesn´t. why the fuck is this basic thumbsucking baby topic of a scrollable canvas screwing me over since this morning?2
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"Because the compiled terminfo entries do not contain metadata identifying the indices within the tables to which each capability is assigned, they are not necessarily compatible between implementations"
Come ooonnnnn wtf even is this -
Think im going to cry,
Just got asked to help set up visual studio,
this person is not even a junior dev,
dont think thats even an excuse tbh,
Thankfully im outa here in a week,5 -
Today, I saw a car has NationalGeographic tag on it but drives just like Dakar Rally, wtf with this people :/
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I need help trying to explain to my boss. Iframes are going to load slow no matter what. Then he shows a page where a iframe loads pretty. decently well. He fucking doesn't understand that even a blank iframe can slow everything.
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I have no clue how... but I just entered my office smiling and actually excited to do some work, like on my first days here and the place smells like coffee too. WTF1
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Yesterday when I came into the office my laptop (in a workstation) could not connect to the internet because of bad ip config. The auto configuration just didn't work...
Solved the problem by opening the laptop-lid for about a second, just wtf -
After messing around with Laravel 5 for hours on end I finally got it working on production. Turns out everything was correct, but the random key generator command decided to literally put "RandomString" as the 32 character website secret... Wtf Laravel?5
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Ok. Kill me now. WTF! This thing gets to 100% and starts all over again? Probably going to mess up Grub. I hate these updates. Restarted twice now!
4 -
The fuck is up with r/web_programming? At first I thought all the completely uneducated questions were funny, but now it's just frustrating
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When you try and compile for iOS using TACO and you get an error message about an android icon file missing *wears the wtf hat*
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curse you Firefox!!
Strangle yourself and die in a corner...........
For the longest time, a div was not centered vertically in Firefox even though it worked perfectly fine in Chrome and Edge......
Set parent height (who is using flex) to 1% and boom, it works now as expected.....
WTF!1 -
That moment when you get to work in the morning, realize that you can't connect to the network, plug in a monitor and keyboard to the server, only to find that my goddamn dhcpd went missing for some reason..
Turn your usual habit into something that everyone praises