Recently I've installed Tinder. Had my first match yesterday.

Me: "I see you're a product manager in a software company. Do you get along well with programmers? :)"

No reply. Unmatches. 😶

Now that I have time to approach my ultimate dream ( being the pro penrester ) , asked a hacker for a road map and he gave me (U'll rarely see such open hackers that share knowledge :) )
Surprisingly I've been familiar with all the topics but being the most pro , requires u to be pro in every single topic .

Guess what ? I'm starting from basic linux commands all over again 😂
echo 'hello world :/'

I'm still angry Google Glass was torn apart by the public for looking goofy but AirPods are a success.

1. There are 10 types of people in the world: those who understand binary, and those who don't.

2. How many programmers does it take to change a light bulb?
None. It's a hardware problem.

3. A SEO couple had twins. For the first time they were happy with duplicate content.

4. Why is it that programmers always confuse Halloween with Christmas?
Because 31 OCT = 25 DEC

5. Why do they call it hyper text?
Too much JAVA.

6. Why was the JavaScript developer sad?
Because he didn't Node how to Express himself

7. In order to understand recursion you must first understand recursion.

8. Why do Java developers wear glasses? Because they can't C#

9. What do you call 8 hobbits?
A hobbyte

10. Why did the developer go broke?
Because he used up all his cache

11. Why did the geek add body { padding-top: 1000px; } to his Facebook profile?
He wanted to keep a low profile.

12. An SEO expert walks into a bar, bars, pub, tavern, public house, Irish pub, drinks, beer, alcohol

13. I would tell you a UDP joke, but you might not get it.

14. 8 bytes walk into a bar, the bartenders asks "What will it be?"
One of them says, "Make us a double."

15. Two bytes meet. The first byte asks, "Are you ill?"
The second byte replies, "No, just feeling a bit off."

16. These two strings walk into a bar and sit down. The bartender says, "So what'll it be?"
The first string says, "I think I'll have a beer quag fulk boorg jdk^CjfdLk jk3s d#f67howe%^U r89nvy~~owmc63^Dz x.xvcu"
"Please excuse my friend," the second string says, "He isn't null-terminated."

17. "Knock, knock. Who's there?"
very long pause...
"Java."

18. If you put a million monkeys on a million keyboards, one of them will eventually write a Java program. The rest of them will write Perl programs.

19. There's a band called 1023MB. They haven't had any gigs yet.

20. There are only two hard things in computer science: cache invalidation, naming things, and off-by-one errors.

still got a lotta work to do NASA :-D

Pro tip: If you are a junior, or senior but new at the company, don't start your conversations with:

"We're doing X wrong. At my previous company we did / at school I learned /in this book I read / according to this talk I watched, the right way to do X is ..."

Instead try:

"I'm curious why were doing X this way. I'm used to doing it differently."

I love flat-hierarchy teams, and people who think about flaws in procedures and proactively try to improve the tools we use are awesome, but the next kid walking up to me yelling we use git flow "wrong" will be smacked in the face with a keyboard.

If you come to me with curiosity and an open mind, I'll explain, and even return the favor by behaving the same way when I'm baffled by your seemingly retarded implementations.

Maybe we can learn from each other, maybe discover that "how I learned it" is sometimes good, sometimes bad.

But let's start with some social skills, not kicking off into every debate with a stretched leg and a red face.

Struggle is real

Enter site

"U must disable adblock to use this site"

Ok adblock disabled

Refresh page

"CLICK HERE TO FUCK THIS FUCKIN HOT HENTAI BITCH IN THE PUSSY WITH HER BIG FUCKIN JUICY TITS AND BIG ASS AND EXPERIENCE THE BEST SEX VIRTUAL GAME OF YOUR LIFE IN THIS AD"

"Please disable AdBlock to view the content."

No. I'll just leave. Bye.

Kenyans lost these great devs in a terror attack. A moment of silence

Something tells me my while loop isn't working as I had intended...

Ahahah

This can never be more accurate!

They barely fit on my desk but I bought the last 2 27 inch monitors I I have 0 regrets

One does not simply uninstall visual studio...one has to first update the installer

WordPress has really cool features!
You can uninstall it, for example.

Apple doesn't trust Google and they seem to host their YouTube ads on another server xD
They ads ain't got no YouTube ID.

Production is down, a coworker got himself locked in his own apartment so he can’t leave and another is late, the phone won’t stop ringing

And I don’t have the credentials to access the production server

Just a monday morning, everything’s fine 🔥😊🔥

"Whenever I see a door that says push I pull first to prevent conflicts"

Me: 1 is something, 0 is nothing, NULL is the absence of things
JuniorDev: wut
Me: You've got pizza in a box, that's 1. If there's no pizza in the box, that's 0. If there's no pizza and no box, that's NULL.
JuniorDev: OOH so there's no object to reference if I ask for a slice!
Me: *small tear*

Always explain things in terms of pizza. Always.

A young guy I work with burst into tears today, I had no idea what happened so I tried to comfort him and ask what was up.

It appears his main client had gone nuts with him because they wanted him to make an internet toolbar (think Ask.com) and he politely informed them toolbars doesn't really exist anymore and it wouldn't work on things like modern browsers or mobile devices.

Being given a polite but honest opinion was obviously something the client wasn't used to and knowing the guy was a young and fairly inexperienced, they started throwing very personal insults and asking him exactly what he knows about things (a lot more than them).

So being the big, bold, handsome senior developer I am, I immediately phoned the client back and told them to either come speak to me face-to-face and apologise to him in person or we'd terminate there contract with immediate effect. They're coming down tomorrow...

So part my rant, part a rant on behalf of a young developer who did nothing wrong and was treated like shit, I think we've all been there.

We'll see how this goes! Who the hell wants a toolbar anyway?!

Who thought it be a good idea to use "<!---->" for comments rather than "//".

There was a time when knowimg just html was enough to get popular in schools! 😅

Ummm ..
I'm a PHP dev.
I still accept WordPress Websites.
I usually use bootstrap but haven't tried 4.0 yet.
I occasionally touch jQuery.

:3 still wanna hear my disappointment stories?

Google removed support for an api and made it paid.

Hold_on.jpg, i used this a while ago

Boots up android studio, the api key is there

Tries service with old api key

Works

:^)

c# never disappoints

Of course there's fucking AI included in the description.