Most hilarious bug I found in Windows 10. 😂😂😂

Windows USB
(Credit : 9gag)

I think we all can agree that I write perfect code.

Our dev team got a new manager. On our first face 2 face meeting:

Manager: So, what technology are we using for web apps?
Me: TypeScript.
Manager: What is TypeScript?
Me: It's a superset of JavaScript.
Manager: Oh I know JavaScript, it's the latest version of Java, right?
Me thinking: He is joking. He tries to be the fun guy. Everyone knows the Java-JavaScript, ham-hamster joke.
Me later, also thinking: No he is not joking. Oh God, this is the end. We are all f*cked!

Me: *hours of coding, develops a feature*
Code: I'm working..
Me: Oh good.. will monitor you for sometime.
Code: Ok, I'm done. I'll stop working now.
Me: WTF

Me: *sits for hours to solve bugs*
And when almost done,
VPN: Someone's having a good day, I'll disconnect you now.
Me: WTF

Me: *tries switching on/off VPN couple of times..*
When it starts to connect,
WIFI: Oh wait!! It's my turn to bid goodbye now. Have a nice day sir
Me: Of course !! The wifi

Me: *restarts router/ troubleshoot etc*
When wifi says connected...
Battery: Good job with wifi.. I'm down now..what you gonna do?
Me: Are you fucking kidding me???

Me: *connects charger, wait for laptop to switch on*
Windows: Updating....
Me: *jumps out window*

First world problems...

I've been working at this startup as a tech lead for a little over a year, and we've grown from 3 to over 150 employees, and a bit over a million end users.

I've spent tens of thousands on high end displays and chairs for your lazy butts, on external consultants to help and train you, even those fucking dirty recruiters have leeched their shares of the pie. I built an amazing luxury kitchen with a fridge, beer cooler, induction plates and a blender for all your crossfitting bodybuilder meals, but forgot to think of my own needs.

NOW I JUST WANT TO BUY A GOOD COFFEEMAKER AND ALL THESE FUCKING TEASLURPING FAKE DEV-BROS SUDDENLY START SCREAMING ABOUT BUDGETS AND HOW COFFEE IS NOT NECESSARY IF YOU MEDITATE. FUCK YOU, WE'RE LIKE THE ONLY STARTUP IN THE COUNTRY RUNNING A FAT PROFIT. I DON'T CARE ABOUT YOUR STUPID MINDFULNESS IOS APP. GIVE ME MY FUCKING ESPRESSO OR I'LL BLEND YOUR BALLS INTO A PROTEIN SHAKE.

That feeling...

Just me minding my own bussiness at a coffee shop (not starbucks) and a stranger comes up to me.

“Check line 37, might be an error there (laughs)”

I was shocked to say that she’s correct, is she the one guys?

My mom got audited for storing sensitive client information in her gmail account without using a vpn or any other real security.

I had been telling her this was an issue for literally the last three years and shes brushed me off every time.

I got yelled at for not telling her I was serious.

I got flagged for visiting r/unixporn.

I need this shirt 😲

Seeing a i when you type i? Fix this unnormal behaviour.

My girlfriend sent me this error message from a BIM software which she uses at work. I would like to see more sophisticated error messages from a software with a 4K price tag.

Looking at my code for 10 minutes. The switch case is always going to default. Almost about to break my head.

I FORGOT TO PUT FUCKING BREAK AFTER EACH CASE. WWWWWWWHHHHHHHHYYYYYYYYY

Me: Coffee has more coffee than energy drinks.

Coworker: You're right, coffee does have more coffee than energy drinks.

Me: I meant caffeine!

"Unit tests are a waste of time, and we should avoid doing that if possible. "

Kill me please.

Math: the imaginary unit is i.
Electrical engineering: no, it's j.
C hacker: hands off my loop variables!

Johnny, Johnny, you are a bad kid!
source: reddit

Babushka prefers dark theme.

And when I was busy wasting my time on my girlfriend who is my ex now, my friends were busy coding an AI chat-bot. Now, I use their chat-bot to talk to when lonely.

Moral :
Girlfriends ditch you.... code doesn't. Love code.

I hope DevRant won't get that popular, so we can stay such a cool small community!

The look on a client's face when they realised that I program[med] sex toys for a living was pretty priceless.

Their attitude change, however, cost them a contract. Programming sex toys is no different from programming anything else.

Why do you have to bring in your religious views or my previous contracts into the conversation? All I'm doing is a network audit for your company. I'm not gonna hide a dildo in your closet, or something. I'm supposed to only be around for a few days, too.

Guess I had too many cooties, with how harsh they burnt that contract and bridge.

:')

A user interface is like a joke. If you have to explain it, it doesn’t work.

dfox please put in a "support us" feature of some sort that lets us watch ads of our own free will. I hate using your resources while not working for it at all.

How Microsoft devs think about Linux 😁.

This was found inside the index.html of Visual Studio Code editor.

Me: Discovered a bug during testing, but I have no idea what's causing it yet.

Project manager: Can you give me an ETA on when the fix will be done?

Me: <eye twitches>

I'll tell you once I find the motivation to type it out.

Collegue *yells through the office*:
Hey IT-guy the file is not there, where is it ?

Me: what file is not where ?

Collegue: you know that file i've been searching for 30 mins now on the Google drive.

Me: Have you tried hitting the name into the search bar ?

Collegue: Sure dude, I'm not stupid.

Me -> *one the way to her desk*
Collegue: OH! never mind I found it with the search bar. I swear it hasn't been there before!

*turning around, going back to my desk*
-fml

I love coding

But I hate coding

But I love coding

But I hate my buggy IDE

But I love coding

But my back hurts from all that sitting

But I want to work on my side project

But at times, it's frustration.MaxValue

But anything remotely related to coding I find interesting

But it's so hard to abide by good practices

But I love coding

But progress is so fizzlingly slow

But I love that elegant solution of the other day

But it took me 57 attempts to arrive at that elegant solution

But the shit I'm building is so cool

But

But
😦

Friend: "what is it that you do?"
Me: "mostly web development, I make websites"
Ex-friend: "oh web design, nice"
Me: ...

"Arch Linux is actually not that difficult".

I ssh'ed into my home server yesterday.

I was greeted by a message from an ext3 disk about needing fsck. Fine, "I haven't been in here for a while, might as well do some maintenance". fsck /dev/sda6, let's go!

This nicely "repaired" the sshd service (i.e. cleared the sectors), I cursed at myself for pressing enter at "repair (y)" right before the connection broke.

So I connected a display and keyboard... ok so let's just pacman -Sy sshd or whatever. We can do this! Just check the wiki, shouldn't be that hard!

Wait... pacman has not run since 2010? WAIT IT'S ACTUAL UPTIME IS 9 YEARS??? I guess we know why I'm a DB admin and not devops...

Hmm all the mirrors give timeouts? Oh. The i686 processor architecture isn't even supported anymore...?

4 hours, 11 glasses of cognac, 73 Arch32 wiki/forum pages, 2 attempts at compiling glibc, and 4 kernel panics later: "I think I'll buy a new server".

Boss: Don't be afraid to break things
Me: *breaks things*
Boss: Why did you break things?
Me: ...

I tried something new. Otherwise, I am hitting a wall.

I made this

So I recently started discarding Proxmox for Arch on my experimental server.. new skill acquired 🙃

!dev
I never mix my personal and professional life. But I've totally lost that ability today.

She said no! 😶

that's what I call a rubber duck collection =)

When your colleague, who wrote the API is on vacation, the documentation is non-existent and you are tired from reading all-day long his spaghetti code, so you are just waiting for him to show up.

I always called deprecated... Depreciated

😓

We all have gaps in knowledge 😔

Just landed my first dev job.

I CAN'T WAIT TO RANT ABOUT MY EMPLOYER!

Fun/Interesting fact:
"++i" can be slightly faster than "i++"

Because  "i++" can require a local copy of the value of "i" before it gets incremented, while "++i" never does. In some cases, some compilers will optimize it away if possible... but it's not always possible, and not all compilers do this.

Made myself a little sparker :3 judging from the spark gap, the output is about 6-7kV I guess. Can't measure it though, it's way too high for my multimeters to handle. Taser, beefed up bugzapper module, electronic cigarette lighter, so many possible uses for this thing 😋

Manager: you can leave earlier today
Me:

How I feel when I need to switch back from a TypeScript to a plain JavaScript project.

Maybe if I get a "world's #0 programmer" coffee cup people will think I'm under qualified to hack their Facebook...

Me : right, I should replace my multiple cases in my switch with a regex so that code will be prettier

Also me : oh shit I don't know how regex works, I forgot, I'm a dumb piece of shit I should ask my dev friends how to do it

Then again, me : Oh shit I don't have any friends

The first dev in it's natural habitat.

If Katie calls one more time, I'll hunt her down.

I said I don't want to be on your stupid caller's list. She said okay, then proceeds to call me 50 more times today.

today a coworker came to me. he had some ideas on a program i made for him (he had the thoughts i did the programming).
he is really thankful for this program as it helps him a lot with his daily work.
we talked about an hour: he told me what he wishes and i explained him what i can do with my abilities.

after this talk i had like 8 to 10 changes to make - more or less big.

from 10 am to 2 pm i managed to work off 5 points, built the release and did the update on his pc.

been a long time seeing someone so happy :)

that was a great feeling. now i get some beer. cheers guys

Out of all microsoft products I have got assigned to, I got a motherfucking sharepoint

Life is sad, I’m so sad

:( :( :(

Questions I ask myself when things get serious at work: "Do giraffes get struck by lightning more often than other animals?"

SM: what task do you have today?

Me: unit test, for yesterday’s task

SM: hm? Weren’t the QAs tested it yesterday

Me: yes, but it’s “unit test”

SM: so? Can’t you test it yourself?

Me: I can, but it’s UNIT TEST

SM: yeah I heard you the first time, the component is working right? Or is there any other point this testing for?

Me: *it seems this idiot doesn’t know what I’m talking about, blah blahblah blah (explaining what unit test is)

SM: hmm, but I think it’s not mandatory, it should be nice to have

Me: ... (I remembered of a place where dev gathers)

Everyone keeps staring at me on the train 😓 what have I done 😓

I'm just a Insecure dev leave me alone!

Deadline tomorrow, OTY, no offset but I love my company, boss and teammates 💪🔥

Our division lead's second in command offered to help me white board and get promoted.

This dude is one of my major role models. He would become my boss instead of the sexist, backwards tyrant of a bastard that I currently report to.

I asked him a question and wound up being told to join their study group and to let him know what I need help with in terms of resume, etc.

There are a few lights at the end of this hell hole of a tunnel. I have a few other options, too.

Fuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuck I have a deadline to meet and I have zero motivation to get shit done

Thanks ssh!

Because of you I don't have to leave the bed to run commands on my Linux server(laptop) sitting on my desk.

This morning I saw the announcement about new avatars... but I was a bit disappointed because I feel it was missing something... something that I have recently requested a few times....

So I've taken the initiative to create a prototype what I would like.

Anyone else want this?

I am fucked.... 😫😫😫My new custom build pc is not starting up after lighting strike 😭😭 ... I had unplugged all the plugs from the socket but i forgot to unplug the wifi from the broadband cable.... So when lighting hit my building the current came through broadband cable and burned my wifi then through there it got to my pc... My motherboard, gtx1070 graphic card, ram everything is gone.... Except my hard drive and psu...

How i used to toggle a boolean:

foo ? false : true;

How i decided to toggle a boolean last night:

foo = !foo

I wondered why i only just thought of that.

My mentor is a GOD. He's a workaholic. He knows everything. The only fucking thing he doesn't know is that his MENTEES ARE NOT HIS FUCKING SLAVES.

true af

I know you guys probably have seen the worst of the worst...

But have you seen a js used to generate xml and send it to backend as json then parse it to xml? No template literals btw so there’s a lot of multiline with lots of + here and there

Or using sql to request web service?

Every single time...

It happened.

I have gotten 100% on every Google foobar question.

I just have to do the cryptography thing, then I'm done.

So many bad dev habits...

But the one that results in the biggest headaches afterwards?

Me, when given a problem and being asked an estimated time: 'This shouldn't be too hard, gimme X to do it', only to later find out it's way harder than i imagined.

I forgot to claim my free stress ball, but then the ++ required were increased so here's a rant about exiting vim:wq
ESC
recording @q
:wq
^C ^C
:q
:Wq
:wq

Wait, shit, I made a typo!
$ nano file.py

When your primary Android app (with over 1/2 million total downloads) gets banned...

And all the email says is read these [links to] policies!

Back story: this happened to me back in 2011, no matter what I did there was no way to get in touch with a human at Google, I sure hope this process has gotten better! Having my app suspended with no way to fix and get it back is ridiculous!! This could ruin a business.

Over two years later, on a Google+ hangout with Google Android devs out of the Google London office, I said to them how silly it is that this happened....one of them asked me for the app ID, I provided, he looked it up in a system which then had a reference code which then related to SEO violation....wow I finally found the answer, how silly that an SEO violation (too many keywords in the app description) can get your app permanently suspended. What a shame. I wouldn't wish this on any solo developer trying to self learn and make something...

Sometimes I really just have to say "Fuck you, Google" out loud a few times.

I have a whatsapp group with my friends, none of which are techies. A while ago one of them was looking for a phone to buy, so he started looking at models, specs and all that, but got pretty confused and asked a pretty well-informed question to the group:

"Guys, what is that quad core thing?
And what is a RAM? Is it something like the processor of the phone or what? "

OK, pretty typical stuff up until this point. The guy knows nothing about this sort of things, I wouldn't criticize him or insult him or anything like that. No, that's not the problem. The problem is the person that responded to him. This... This melted my brain so much I will never forget:

"Don't worry about that, you only have to look at how many gigahertz does the processor run at. Don't worry about the number of cores or ram. The GHz are the result of the amount of ram and cores, so the more the gigahertz, the better the phone."

PD: "Also take a look at how many megapixels does the camera have if you want to take photos".

Some people just talk out of their ass and pretend like they're experts on any topic they've read about for 5 minutes on the Internet

I have gotten into a bad habit of staying up late on my computer and then being too tired to go for a run in the morning.

So now my computer automatically shuts itself off at 10:00.

There’s some encouraging to go to sleep.

Humans are illogical. Many decisions are made from impressions created in early life. A lot of people have suppressed their childhood memories because they're ashamed of them, but I'll have you know:

I like trains. Choo choo!!

I'm totally drunk but for somr reason I wanted to see devRant

So yesterday I finally received my rubber ducks at work.
Now I feel like I can work.

One day I will understand those git jokes :)

Love for i

I fucking hate Angular. I don't know man I've been using NoScript since my balls dropped and I feel like JavaScript is fucking useless (I like Typescript syntactically though).

What drives me nuts is all the frameworks: Think of a word, add .js, search it up... it's theeeeere.

I know I'm not the only one who fucking hate JS, and I don't think there are many people who genuinely love it. Sorry I just wanted to rant and it's 5 a.m.

Want a backend in Node? You got it. PhP using the plethora of frameworks available? No problem.

Feeling like a gipsy guitarrist and want to lay it down with Django? Good taste!

In a hurry and need your startup off the ground with React integration in rails? Piece of cake.

Feeling springy and want you some coffee and Java with your app? A la carte.
Wanna pull my leg and force me to do .net? Mm ok if you insist.

You sure you want Perl with that? Ok no problem.

.....but you sit me and my awesome powers of backend mastery and force me to do css and design all week and you literally destroy my soul......this shit is soul crushing I swear.....

I love it!!!

OK. I may have the position on devRant as the "Android Guy" or just Haxk20. Yeah sure i ported oreo to a 2012 device that had android 6.0 previusly and 7.0 never even touched the device before. Pie is 95% done. If this build comes in as success then its 98% done.(Fucking lineage-sdk error (Cant seem to find any solution to it hopefully make clean will fix it)). Impressive ? No its not. Guys have done much much more work on older devices and with full support. Yeah sure they are doing it for long time and im just begginer in this since im only porting android for 2 years. But im gonna go to the new territory. Android kernel porting. (No im still going to be porting android. Its just that i need newer kernel)

Does it sound crazy ?
No ? well it fucking is.
Device has 3.0.101 kernel. Hopefully i can bring 3.4 to this babby so i can run some new stuff on it that i coudlnt before since it threw error as "Kernel too old" Yeah i coudlnt chroot into Linux system on that phone because the damn kernel is just so old.
Yeah i didnt even know that error actually existed ffs.
Best part at this ?
I dont have a fucking clue how to do this shit.
So yeah this is going to be fucking fun.

I don't drink coffee, I eat it.

Our team is expanding and our boss hired an agency to find candidates. Today a headhunter on linkedin just offered me this position. Dafuq, at least they could check if I'm not working there on the same position.

I have a problem...

And my brain is desperate​

It's 2017.

Why is vertically centering a div still so stinkin hard?

Yeah yeah ik what you will tell me, "use flexbox".
Well guess what,. I HAVE BEEN TRYING TO FOR THE PAST 6 FUCKING HOURS!

I've gone as far as to copy code from 20+ different websites advertising working solutions. My tab bar looks like the fucking rockey mountains!

My main problem is that flexbox on chrome is not accepting ANY % values.

Now if you'll excuse me, I need to go kill myself. YAY! 🤗

ALRIGHT! I'LL GIVE YOU SUPPORT ON MY VACATION TOO, IT'S NOT LIKE I HAVE FRIENDS AND FAMILY, NOPE, ALL I CARE ABOUT IS YOUR UNSTRUCTURED PHP CODE WHICH NEEDS TO BE REFACTORED BECAUSE 2 VISITORS ON YOUR WEBSITE SUGGESTED SO!

Update: Apparently, I just needed to leave the apartment.

Pretty much any time I get to explain my code to the senior programmers

If you think good design is expensive, you should look at the cost of bad design - Ralf Speth

I lost my kindle :'(

I wonder..

Do the new devduck capes say "devrant.com" on the back? Or do they still say "devrant.io"

I DO NOT OWE FB MONEY.....

Should I write a GreaseMonkey svript to remove this?

If the live server crashed, it wasn't me. I did the changes locally first. I swear.

I wish the apple review team shove them white polished apples up their fucking asses

A problem solved over a month ago... Ipv6 works it's tested.

Now you come back with a very specific old iPad on a very specific os and say it doesn't work !?

The topping on this shit (apple) pie? They sent me a screenshot of the issue.

It's a screenshot of the fucking login page. I know what the fucking thing looks like you assholes.

Absolute tossers

WHY THE FUCK ARE YOU ASSIGNING PROD BUGS WHEN I'M ON A FUCKING VACATION ?!?

Oh wait I wrote that code...

Welp

Last year the rewrite of an ancient system (VB6/mainframe COBOL) was started. Instead of moving to modern architecture management decided to rewrite the app's functionality into our last gen WinForms client/server arch. I set up a meeting to present alternatives and plead for some level of modernization. After presenting and asking management to plan for five to ten years in the future instead of just this year's budget my director said, "In five to ten years I'll be retired on a beach in Tahiti and this will be your problem to solve." It was the last straw and I left the company shortly after. Last week I found out the director was force retired out of the company. I sent her a congratulations slip and a cocktail umbrella with "Tahiti" written on it.

The wildest part about the new Algo algorithm is that I'm now getting notifications from rants that I made from like 3 weeks ago. It's kinda of like a royalty check.

Long time lurker, first time poster. This site has been a huge source of fun and laughs for me on bad days.

So dear fellas,

I've been a software engineer for about 5 to 6 years which was intense as fuck and I've been burnt out multiple times. My highest rank was a senior software engineer so far.

I was offered a new job recently as a Technical lead for a small team which would mean I have to make architecural decisions on top of good ol grunting out the code. I took up the offer but I'm more worried than happy.

Impostor syndrome has kicked in heavily ever since I agreed to the job. What if they realise I don't know certain things that engineers are supposed to know? What if I get in an embarassing situation where somebody asks me a question and I'm not able to answer? What if people who I work with laugh behind my back cos I'm not a rockstar engineer?

I'm depressed and scared as fuck right now. Usually I had someone senior to ask my questions or get my doubts cleared with, now it looks like I'll be making those decisions and getting things done and I'm shitscared and worried as fuck.

Does anyone have any pointers, tips or anecdotal advice that might help me? It would be much appreciated.

Sorry for the incoherent rant. Have a good one y'all

Good morning everyone... May your coffee be warm and your clients be cool.

devrant made me realise there are people out there that go through the same daily shit I do.

Thank-you devrant

Me: *watching Google i/o 2018*

Me (thinking to myself): wow that looks useful! I'll probably use that use after 5 years at work

I just noticed... a lot of people who are into tech also like anime. Is the love for anime just embedded into our technological souls?

Daaaamn! For the longest time I thought that customizing your avatar would cost you ++!

Guess I need a break from JS

I wonder if I’d get in trouble for brand misuse if I designed and sold a t-shirt that says “Be nice to me or I’ll talk about you on devRant.”

My compartmentalizing skill is not good enough. Wasted last night by doing nothing and falling asleep because of a bad mood. I have shit tons of tasks.

So turns out getting drunk and installing arch Linux was a bad idea, somehow managed to format the installation USB instead of my secondary hardrive, set my home directory as the root file system and somehow managed to half install the needed packages to the USB so I wasn't booting and had to go back to a fresh windows install just to redo the USB...

Don't drink and Linux kids...

Me trying to show to my girlfriend family the lord of the rings. I know it is nothing about code but please tell me there's good people out there.

Expectation vs. Reality

*uses java and c# for a few months without touching GML or my custom script language*

*Jumps back in after said few months*

Oh god I miss OOP, please give it back!

I give out ++ like their candy. What can I say I like to increment

*At a dorm gathering*

Me: I think I’m gonna head back to my room, I don’t know what to do here

Friend: Come on, meet people! Socialize!

Me: *sighs* Fine

You know you’re a nerd when...

Found on FB

Fuck it. Today I broke my production server installing the brotli encryption on nginx. -_-

Holy shit! How come nobody told me I can long press an image on devRant to save it?!? I've been taking screenshot of images I like this whole time..

Great

Updated GPU drivers, turned my PC off while i was getting something to eat and watch YouTube videos in the living room, decided to go work on some project, turn my PC back on, and... Nothing works...

Neither of my monitors displays anything and not even my keyboard turns on... Didn't even get to see the splash screen of my mobo vendor

Why does this shit always happen to me?

I don't want to go back homw...
(P.S. - This is India, and average internet connection is about 1/100th of this speed)

Just got those 1k ++ and finally placed the rubber ducky on my desk.

Feels like I have achieved something great in life 😎

I like the idea of Machine Learning in JS simply because I think it is way to fascinating to see what people are doing with JS.

Some programming languages tend to a attract very peculiar crowds. Some are even famous for the type of people they attract. Python is highly regarded as a language for scientists and researchers as well as beginners in development due to how simple and expressive it is. So you normally tend to see that kind ok f people in it(and before you bitch about it....no....it is not an all inclusive statement, hold your cock holster)

Whereas JS seems to have people from all backgrounds. It really is the language of the internet and as such the people around the internet have tried hard to make it better. So this can be considered an experiment regarding the way people collaborate with one another and I dig it.

Its all about working together ma ninjas.

Still a pretty funny language sometimes tho

1 + "1" = "11"
1 - "1" = 0

I still love it.

// This is not a Rant, it's a sad story

I am a Software Engg. Student at my college, and I am a scholar, I stand 1st rank in my department for my academics. Our college expects us to do an internship this semester break, and I am stuck. The college expects us to do an internship for a period of around 6 weeks from a company with a CMM level 3. The real pain is the fact that the college didn't prepare us with the right skill set to get an internship like that. And in the end all our college wants is a certificate to show to them that I have done an internship.

My problem is, the people who don't have the slighest skill to do an internship are getting certificates because they have contacts, and they have no intentions to learn anything. But, here I am, although I believe I don't have that good skill set either, but I am stuck with no contacts, no internship offers, and no responses from the company I have applied to. Don't know what I am gonna do, but I have a zeal to do perform well, let's hope I find an opportunity to exhibit my talents.

If anybody can help me, please do. 🙏❤

What the user says and what they mean are rarely the same thing.

Getting called by my dad "how do I make a local network with my phone?"
"I don't fricking know, I don't have your phone"
"Well you are the tech guy"
Really now?

I goofed up and forgot the WHERE clause in my UPDATE query. Accidentally all of production possibly updated because we don't do test databases. I think it didn't actually go through because I cancelled it but now I need to restore a backup and compare data. Which means explaining this to the co-owner who can help me with a restore. I'm mortified, more so because it was a stupid thing to do to begin with.

Why do some devs pay more then 2000€ for an macbook with mojave when i can have mojave feeling for free ? :D

Alcohol is somewhat only a socialising drug for me - so I never coded when drunk.

Is it an experience worth making?

Didn't know I can write to myself... @gitpull this message is to you!

Staying in because I have some really awesome stomach pains this morning courtesy of my time in the wonderful U.S Army.

As such my daughter did not get dropped off at the daycare center.

It is 09:22am. She(daughter)would have stayed asleep till about 10 if we didn't mess with her.

For WHATEVER FUCKING REASON and knowing that my stomach is on a fucking murder spree right now my wife decided in ALL OF HER FUCKING WISDOM to wake her up.

I am so
Fucking
Upset

I really feel for the motherfucker that would today and I am really wishing a motherfucker would.

I’ve been at this job 4 months and I feel like I’ve been here long enough to make an accurate opinion of it. From day one I have not felt welcomed. There is no communication within the team.. none of my questions are ever answered.. and when I do ask questions I get snarky answers. I don’t expect my hand to be held, but as someone who is new, I’d like you to give me guidance. Especially since the code is mostly legacy and no one else on the team seems to know anything about anything.

Oh and there are not daily stand ups, project managers, or direction in the tickets themselves.

I guess I should have expected this on the first day when I asked for a SIP or documentation on how to get my environment setup I was practically laughed out of the office and then had the nerve to ask me why it took me the entire day to get 5 environments up and running.. not giving me the custom mappings or the global UDFs.

Today was my last straw.. when I asked a question in three different forms of communication on multiple different channels and was never given an answer.. and then was asked why I did something the way I did instead of doing it the way they wanted me to.

I think the saddest thing is that I felt tricked into this. I was told this position was going to be one way but ended up being something else. I was excited to share my knowledge and best practices to the team. Instead, I’m an outcast and get only be negativity and excuses when I politely bring up suggestions.

I no longer have the will to code here.

Just about to make a presentation for a group of highly experienced devs... i got my masters degree 8 months ago, so im a rookie in comparison... wish me luck!

Google is amazingly good at using tech to solve problems we did not even know we have...

I mean.. How did we even survive til this day w/o google making restaurant reservation or barbershop calls..? We are cavemen bcz we still do it all ourselves... So inefficient..

/s

var does not mean dynamic

Shamless rant towards the shamless Cursey dude. 😫

So whole day I have been trying to pass a variable from laravel blade view to vue2 component file. All in seperate files. I know that I have successfully passed 1 or 0 in same flow before. So I was following the same steps to pass my string variable. It kept giving me undefined. No google helped and I had been doing all kinds of stupid useless trials. All failed.

Because it is supposed to fail. 😐
I only learned it at the end of the day.

I have found the solution to my general distaste for frontend work:

Bourbon

You see, i generally dislike working on the frontend. Mostly due to it being what I do every week at work. But during my xmas break I decided to look more into some advanced css to get shit done in more effective and better architectured ways.

SCSS makes it somewhat better. But what really makes it awesome is the bourbon.

Yay for alcohol.

In my defense, I barely ever drink. A couple of glasses before a coding session serve me pretty good.

Anyone know how I can get a backend developer job as a 15 year old?

🦆

i am actually exciting to go to work tommorow.

Thats weird.

Over the weekend the gf was away and it was quite boring, gaming didnt do the thing so i relaxed quite a lot but i am somewhat excited to continue to work tomorrow, to further my project. I was able to stop to do nothing at home, but still..its a bit weird

Is it just me or should devrant have codeblock syntax?

Fuck these people. They have PhDs in everything but don't know how to walk properly.
"Oh let me get right in front of you while you walk faster", have you ever driven a car you porg shit?
And these people that wear backpacks! OH MY GOD I HATE BACKPACKS! I mean, if you wear one please tell me you've been wearing them since you were born. Otherwise you're not calculating the extra space you take AND YOU JUST WALK LIKE A FUCKING GORILLA.
I have come to the point of inventing the walking permit. You're born with it, and starting at 18 y/o it can be stripped away. LEARN TO WALK.

Any one else have a problem buying gadgets they don't need? I just bought an Amazon Echo and not entirely sure what to do with it. I also have about 6 waiting to be shipped from kickstarters

well it's now 24 hours I didn't touch my PC.. not touching keyboard for this long.. it feels so empty..

Thanks devRant...

OH
MY
GAAWWWWWD

The funniest thing happened today. I was helping a teammate rebase his branch onto master. Since his root was a merged local branch with 3 commits already in master, but squashed, we had to do an interactive rebase. So we have 3 commits to drop, and one to pick. He was using vsCode on windows, so he got vi to edit the rebase. I told him to change the first three pick for the letter d (alias for drop). Since he was not too familiar with vi, he only changed the first letter. I was like : dick is not a valid command, it's just d. Then he removed it and did the same thing again! When he finally understood, we both died of laughter,and so my ghost is now writting this rant. In the bus. Laughing like a crazy person. 😎

Log 'I love devRant' in your favorite programming language.

Fucking nice, my damn PC has problems handling RAM and can't stay more than 1 minute in any OS without crashing. Windows bluescreens with MEMORY_MANAGEMENT or other bullshit. Nice fucking situation. It's either my CPU's IMC or all of the four RAM sticks. Long tests say it's not my board. Either way, I'm fucked because I haven't got any money to replace my PC yet.

What a coincidence, I got similar parts to someone on Google+ who lives near me and has this exact problem EXCEPT HE CAN REPLACE HIS PC SOON AND I CAN'T. GREAT.

We all hate being tech support for our family and friends, but motherfuck this is insane; my sister asks me for support and then doesn't listen to me. E.g. I tell her that the Microsoft login page is fucked up so she'll need to login again and she doesn't try again, but pesters me until I login for her... Every goddamn time...

I have no idea how the fuck it happens, but whenever my mom uses computer, somehow, she manages to end up with the stupid shit Ask and other useless shitty extensions taking over Google Chrome!

:/

Rant/story

Ok, I've always respected my PM and took everything on me, but since a while I start getting bored at work and realised many wrong things with the company and management in general.

So, brief contextual situation for you guys, I used to be very shy, unconfident and submissive. That was 2 years ago. Now am much more confident and got my own techniques in managing my constant "in the moon"-mind and relational discussions with colleagues. No more stuttering and am now answering on the spot and focussed on the discussion.

So I was having a nice day extinguishing fires on our website, this evening my PM stressly-rushed into my office (which I share with 2 other colleagues), and pressured me into giving a phone call to some developer for a situation clarification: a Json endpoints seems to truncate text after some characters.

Just came back from the loo (not sorry for the details), had my thoughts about something else, as usual, and I was just like "chill, let me get my mind together and prepare myself to be on point for this phone call". Told her I need a few seconds and she was like "now now now" knowing me I'm a bit laid-back.

Grabbed the phone, saw she was laughing (always laughs whatever I do, I must be very funny) and went talking about me to my colleague (not backstabbing but like "I don't get why he needs to get prepped for a phone call"). I managed the phone call like a boss - like usual since I got more confident -, my pm left, I finished the call, went to her to tell her my conclusions on our issue, asked me if I checked the contract with our CMS company.

Told her nope, the Json is compatible with our DB-manager's API.

She coldly answered "right, will do it myself then", I was like ok, I know you won't do it, I'll get it done.

In 15 minutes I found the contract, notified her, analyzed it, and wrote a technical email to support.

Seriously, stop taking me for some retarded person and let me breathe

Huh.

Overtime rant, I suspect they will try to denie me half of the overtime pay for the past week cause I did more than ordered to reach their arbitrary deadline.
I will in return offer to delete half the work I did. Rollback changesets and delete the code.

Made an Aprils Fool joke to my boss, at 1 am on April 1st when we were working late. I planned to freak him out by saying I would quit.

- "There's something I have to talk to you about and I know it's a day late..."

(He understood by then it was a resignation at this point, he looked very sad and interrupted me.)

- "If it's just about money, I'm sure we can figure it out..."

(I felt so bad, I just wanted to prank him. So I told him I just April Fooled him, Winther taking it any further.)

A few moments later we had laughed about it, and I thought to myself: "Did he really wanna give me a huge raise? God damn it, I should have kept a poker face!!!" 😣🔫

Well this is the thing. I have been starting to replace a lot of my shit with Golang. I think it is a great language because of one small fact: it is a boring language.

With this I don't mean that it is not incredibly fun to use. It is and honestly I feel that a lot of the concepts that I had from C passed quite nicely with some additions. The language does not do anything special and there is no elegant code. It works in a very procedural fashion without taking into consideration any of the snazzy things found in JS, Python, c# etc etc. Interfaces and struct make sense to me, way more than oop does in other languages. I don't need generics with the use of interface parameters and I have hadly found a situation in which I have to strive too far away from the way things are done with Go to be happy with it, then again my projects are not hard or by any means groundbreaking (most of them deal with logistics or content management and a couple of financial apps that I am rewriting in Go from work)

The outcome is fast and easy to read since idiomatic go is for the most part very readable(no people...single letter variable names are by no means a standard and they should feel ashamed from it)

I miss the idea of a framework, but not so much and the docs and internal code for Go is just way top inviting. I believe the code to be readable enough than anyone that has gotten used to the syntax and ideas of the language can just jump in and start learning. This is the first language that I have learnt from studying the code as it is inside of the standard lib, the same I cannot say for any other language or framework.

Also, it play beautifully nice with vs code.

I dunno man, I feel that I am doing something wrong. I have projects built in Node, php, python, ruby and spring java as well as .net core and I still find Golang way more appealing simply because it goes harder than Python with "one preferred way" to do things.

The lang does not make me feel like a pro, i certainly develop in it at pro speeds, but it was made with beginners in mind to built fast and concurrent apps, with the most minimal syntax possible.

I guess my gripe with it is that it gets shunned from this, saying that it ignored years of lang research to make it as dumbed down as possible. Which it did, lack of generics amongst other things certainly make it seem like, but I will not say that it was poorly designed. Not at all, I believe it is a testament of amazing engineering. To be able to create such a simple yet amazingly powerful language.

Wish there were more to it. Wish there was a nice gui lib or a ml framework comparable to the ones offered by python and java. But I guess such things will come with time.

I feel stupid with this language.

And that is fine.

My mum and I was picking up my nephew the other day from school, and he brought back some snacks he got from the school with him,

There were some cakes, chips, and a white paper cup like the one they used for soda, I assumed it was coke or something, so I put it away on the cup holder by the car door

Not long after on the way home, he reminded us of that cup, he wanted to show us what's in that cup,

My mum thought it was a result of some kind of experiment he did at school,

He said in broken bahasa (he mainly speaks in english, so his indonesian's always jumbled with english words)

"No, it's not"

"It's um, umm"

"It's the banana that turns to water"

I was confused, my mum's still convinced it's some kind of experiment,

I thought it's a banana juice,

To our surprise...

!rant

I just did a thing. Signed the contract for buying my very first apartment at age 21. So fucking stocked, and feel bad for my wallet

Yesterday was release day for a project, never been too nervous like I am now, why? Because of the amount of chaos in this project, I cannot predict the behavior of the system, anything might just break T_T

I UNDERSTAND POINTERS (kind of) HAHAHAHA NOW I JUST NEED TO KNOW HOW TO USE THEM AND I WILL BE UNSTOPPABLE

*Opens IDE*

My brain: oh right! This is that thing that you do to try and convince yourself that coding something will make you feel good about yourself, one day buddy, one day...

Also me: welll... Thanks for the confidence brain *said as I pound down the sixth beer*

Health anxiety is funny.

a pendulum between
"oh no, what if I have x and die"
"jesus christ, this anxiety is too painful i wish i was dead"

death is a fucking tease.

anyhow, just venting, not promoting self harm, if you are having thoughts of mortality contact your national suicide hotline.

also, not trying to be a dick, but id appreciate receiving no advice, just a "i hope you get better" will help me a lot.

I just noticed, it seems no one rants much about their work or work mates anymore... Or ever?

Guess I missed the notice...

I am more honest than console.log

How did you come to know about devRant?

I was shopping stickers online, and the owner of that site referred me to devRant (personaly, we were having a chat via that contact us chatbox).

Share your stories, because I don't see any ads of devRant, so everything must be organic here...

Client just asked if I could make a dropdown menu appear when a navigation item is hovered over. ON MOBILE.

Tired of dealing with shitcode, that's all I always inherit. Maybe I picked the wrong career? or maybe I shouldn't have even read about things like SOLID or picked up Clean Code.

Then again if I hadn't, I wouldn't be where I am. But I'm unhappy. Why do I always get these projects where the poeple who wrote them (and dissappeared) clearly had no proefficiency on the used tech stack.

Am I ever gonna be part of a project with an actual lead/architect, who strives for the code not to rot?

Maybe I'm just being a little bitch whinning over this?

Halp!! the more I code, the more I hate it. It wasn't like this when I was the architect. But I didn't make as much money as I do now...

What do I do

This is how Scrum works:

Three coworkers are in a Scrum Team. One of them is also the Product Owner and the Scrum Master... The PO decided this Monday that they need to add a new feature for the Tuesday night release, which is estimated at 80 hours. I told the other two in front of a manager that this is not scrum. Nobody gives a shit.

Spent hours troubleshooting an internal app that had zero logging today. It would just terminate, no exceptions, no feedback to the debugger, NOTHING.

Turned out to be the damn corporate virus scanner blocking "malicious" behaviour. Good thing my desk is so heavy or I woulda flipped it...

I HATE PROGRAMMING!
I HATE PROGRAMMING!
I HATE PROGRAMMING!

IT WORKS!

I HATE PROGRAMMING!

#Apple #FaceID
Yet another step towards the God's eye in Fast & Furious. Since it requires a 360 scan of a face, CIA just requires a photo to find anyone in the planet who's using an iPhone X [Stands for Expensive]. There's a reason why Apple ditched the fingerprint sensor.
RIP #Privacy 😶

To all devs out there who don't use the toilet flush in company: FUCK YOU! I WISH YOU 100 BUGS EVERY DAY AND MAY YOUR FUCKING CODE NEVER COMPILE YOU DISGUSTING PIECE OF SHIT!!

At what point can I claim to not be a script kiddie anymore?

Like, I've built compilers, and interpreters for an excel-like syntax, I refactored a pdf-parsing library from the ground up. I managed databases and wrote protocols for communicating with hardware.

But most of my experience is with python / nodejs / golang. It is only recently that I started playing with C and rust for actual efficient system code.

You know what pisses me off? When I don't know what a constant is used for so I check the documentation and this is what I see:

Don’t ring me up all nasty asking why these other domains that you never told me about don’t “work”... and you don’t have dns access ‘cos you don’t know what it is and I need to speak to some geezer from another company that you fired. FUCK OFF, now I have to do some whois fishing to find out the shit you are blaming me for.

I think CPU manufacturers should start using bogomips as their focal point in advertising.

That poor unscientific measurement is neglected.

We should be aiming for Megabogomips by now people. MEGABOGOMIPS.

I've been using Git since 2014. So why do I STILL cringe whenever I have to revert commits or do a hard reset back to HEAD? What's going to disappear? What will remain? Will my entire Git history be vaporized? It's a total game of Russian Roulette to me. So, without the certainty level I want, I just do what feels safer...I grab the versions of the files I think are what I need and stick them back into my repo, then git status and commit the correct changes back in.

Went to make progress on a small side project I started and ended up just building a brand new animation system for all my other projects...

This is why I never finish anything..

Have you ever hit a wall? Like you know what you want to do, you know how to do it but it will not work for absolutely no reason you can see? I've spent the better part of 5 hours trying to add an image upload to my node app and have nothing to show for it. I've tried multiple packages to no avail. I've deleted everything and started over so many times I've lost track. The only thing I can think of doing now is bashing my head off the keyboard and hope that spews out some magical code that will fix my problem.

tl;dr
Fucking shit cheap wifi router with fucking shitty UI, or it was probably my own stupidity,

Enduring the warm (fuckin hot) coastal climate, I ran back and forth in my house continuing my ordeal from last night, trying to figure what the fuck’s wrong with my wifi,

So far I’ve known that, the main access point doesn’t work with any device, but I can connect via cable, and hardwired extended router also works, so the problem must be with the main wifi AP,

I’ve given up earlier in the morning and tried calling the ISP, and the lady on the other side was about to instruct me on how to change the wifi password, I politely decline as I’ve already tried it many times, then she proceeds to register an issue ticket and I’m to wait for the technician to come,

I spent some time making lunch (a very nice spaghetti, and baked some almonds, gonna make some salted caramel after this), until I grew impatient, and back in front of my laptop again,

Then it hit me, rather than changing the password, I made the connection to be open, then I tried to connect, still no avail, so something else must be blocking it,

I spent some time figuring out what could be the problem, I tried to translate all the technical jargons in the router, until I found

“access control”
Mode: (a dropdown selection)
- disabled
- restrict
- permit (this one is selected)

[input for mac address]

[Some table to list registered devices]

Then it hits me like a brick, I tried adding my iphone’s mac address into the input, registered it, and voila, suddenly I am able to connect,

After that I tried setting the mode to disabled, nothing changed, the list is still there, I can still add more devices, but poof, my laptop suddenly able to connect,

After some experiment, what I concluded is that,

Disabled means the access control option is disabled, no restrictions or permissions (as intended as the default settings probably)

Restrict means allow all devices to connect except the ones registered in the list

Permit means restrict all device connections except for the ones registered in the list

Fuck it, now the problem is solved, everything went back to normal, well, back to my lunch I guess

Things I do when I'm coding in C
Laugh like a stupid 10 year old at STD in stdio.h (Sexually Transmitted Diseased input output)
Keep trying to type studio.h instead of stdio.h

That moment when you run the program again without doing nothing to see if the problem is fixed. 🤔

Plz send more stickers!! I need hulpppp!

WHAT AM I DOING!!!

-Had low battery so I put the phone on power saver mode (decreases brightness) and manually lowered it to minimum as well
-Went out
-Couldn't see shit
-Thought something is wrong with my phone
-Reset it completely
-Now the screen is fine
-The light blinked in my brain and I realized I'm an idiot

WHAT ANDROID PENDEJA MADE THIS EVEN POSSIBLE TO BE DONE YOU SON OF A BITCH

I woke up today to work more on my project. When I looked at my code, this thought ran through my had "What the hell was I thinking yesterday? I don't even drink!"

Whenever anyone asks me why I dislike C++ I'm just going to point to this current app I'm working. Had a unit test with an extern method declaration that had 7 or 8 different parameters. No big. Problem is that the ACTUAL definition of the method had 1 less parameter than the extern declaration. It worked perfectly fine in x86. Ported to x64, compiled fine, hard crash at runtime. Debugger not a super lot of help. Took me a couple days to figure that one out. Also I am broke so I can't even drink the pain away. Neat.

I have a 1.5k word essay due next Tuesday and I be like here starting to learn F#

Why am I like this?

Its so awesome, how easily I can create my own packages in arch.

I see people ranting about first going to google.com and then searching. The browsers at my workplace won't let you do a search in the address bar, not even in the search field that says Google.
So now I do the same thing at home and realize how stupid it is milliseconds later.
Not frustrating at all.

Experiences of owning a private server with JFK!

Dropping a prod db: 1
Misplacing passwords: 3
Config errors: Over 9'000
fail2ban banned me: 2
Not reading the docs first since: Forever
Setting up a sever again because I fucked up: 4
Formating the wrong USB stick, which had needed data: 1
Resetting lost DB root password: 2
Server crashes due to insufficient psu: 3
Not knowing the firewall is enabled again, so near to nothing works: 2

One of the top reasons why I decided to work for a different company is that they use Slack.

So I'm soley a Java developer, and I got the task of making a server so I was like what a great time to learn C++ or something. With no prior knowledge of what c++ looks like I make a new project and open the damn template to be confused asf on where to start. I lookup some hello world tutorials and now I'm even more confused. Thanks C++