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Manager: Alright, we've decided we're gonna just going to accept PayPal and also credit card checkout through PayPal in the next two days!
Dev: ...
Manager: We can achieve this timeline, right?
Dev: ...
Manager: Alright, awesome to see your motivation! Let's do it!
Dev: YOU ANSWER PHONE CALLS, TALK TO PEOPLE AND 'STRATEGIZE' ALL DAY. YOU DON'T HAVE TO RELY ON THOUSANDS OF PEOPLE USING THE APP WITHOUT ERROR. THAT'S ON ME, NOT YOU, SO JUST SHUT THE FUCK UP!!!
Manager: ...
Dev: ...rant i love it everyone loves it great startup we are awesome we love it features without error clueless8 -
So the new robot (Dingo) arrived yesterday. Today I did the unboxing, and damn was it disappointing. I realized the university purchased it not from the company I recommended, and they messed up the delivery.
The robot controller was missing, and the charging cable did not match the charging station input. Like dude, you had one job!
Since the lady in administration decided to disregard my recommendation and order from a random shop, she might as well assemble the robot herself....15 -
!rant I finished crocheting the capelet I was working on. Not too bad for a first attempt, I think!26
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ARE YOU KIDDING ME.
I've got a client that is complaining a long sentence is on multiple lines on a mobile device.
You literally cannot make this stuff up. They are literally saying, "move this specific word up to the line above."8 -
Like "Why is Facebook webpage running so slow" (I think cuz of all the tracking stuff, and they are having trouble on my Linux machine). But I gave it a naive duck-duck and found this brilliant tip to "Reinstall JavaScript" to improve that performance. I'm just so speechless rn... And the cherry on the ice-cream is the link :Drant reinstall js wtf-anyway? like what? guys... facebook is evil i dont want to use it i use arch btw java is also an island13
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Manager: Messages not visible! bug ticket!!!!
Dev: oh fuck, there's an issue with our chat system, not good! _inspects ticket_ oh, it's just a display issue that actually is according to the previous spec, yawn...
Dev: please describe the bug better next time, I though we had a major outage, this is simply a small design issue...
Manager: ...
Dev: ...
I think I'm quitting soon guys. I literally do not get paid enough to deal with these incompetent idiots each day.
Meanwhile:
Management: forget your shitty salary, take one for the team, you get 3% of the shares in the company!!!!
Dev: what fucking shares, you haven't even converted to a corporation yet, THERE ARE NO SHARES
Management: ...
Dev: ...
Oh yeah and they called me at 6:30 PM today: "so i guess you are winding down for the day"
fuck outta here i haven't been working since 5 you fucks
jesus i swear some people need to screw their fucking head on straight, so far gone into the hUsTlE CuLtUrE they don't even know what reality is anymorerant i for sure break devrant too much so much rage amazing rage ok thats enough tags how many tags can i make rage hatred done please stop burnout7 -
Well I did it guys. I'm officially a Software Engineer.
I'm feeling serious imposter syndrome. Working on telling myself that I'll be OK though.8 -
PhD application saga:
So, the recommenders showed up. And one by one, the letters are rolling in. I am a little hopeful.
And also anxious since there's a mere 4% acceptance rate.
But now, we shall wait...
🐀
*Goes into hiding to anxiously binge-eat*17 -
Remember the super duper company I applied for? (Last rant)
Well, I did their coding challenge. And after many years I had to do a metric crapton of C++. It's not a fun language. It's frustrating how human-unfriendly it is, and maybe one reason why I low-key like it.
Anyways, here's hoping that I didn't fuck up too much.
On a side note, I realized tensorflow actually has a cpp api. I think I'm gonna work with that in my next mental breakdown. 🧐8 -
I actively avoided looking at my coworker code because i didnt want to micro manage. God i was so wrong3
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TM: Hey, do you have a moment?
Me: not really, I'm already overtime and have enough work for the whole year.
TM: Yeah, we know. Just a quick meeting to discuss something awkward.
Me: Hmkay.
...
Later that day:
TM: Yeah. To make it quick - we're confused and bit dissatisfied with how project X turned out. The staging server is blazing fast, but the devs machines seem to be extremely slow... Some devs complained.
Me: No wonder. I said from the beginning that the devs shouldn't do X and Y, and that the dev machines need to be redone after staging is done - as we need to gather hands on experience first, cause no one could explain to me what resources the project actually needed.
TM: Oh. I wasn't aware of that.
Me: I guessed so. You were on vacation at the beginning and I didn't had the time to lead another team...
TM: Yeah... So the dev machines get replaced?
Me: They _could_ be replaced, but the devs would need to reset up their environment, as I and won't transfer the environment of the dev user.
TM: Ah... So they would have to retransfer their personal modifications, if they made any?
Me: Yes. As always, the basic setup just provides the necessary services, settings etc. - stuff like remote IDE settings on the machine, configuration etc is left out and we don't transfer it as it is usually too much of a hassle and risky, as every dev does have his / her own preferences, and we don't want to support every possible configuration out there.
TM: Just out of curiosity... Staging was ready like... Last year?
Me: Beginning of December, yes.
TM: Sigh.
Me: The jolly of having a kinder garten full of toys that no kid wants to clean up...
TM: No comment. The kinder garten Kids might make me a Pinata otherwise.
Me: If only they'd fill us with chocolate first instead of just beating us.
...
Tales of lazy devs, to be continued...3 -
How to step up the level of emotional torture PhD students are subjected to by academia:
In addition to the normal status for submitted papers, which are "received", "under review" and "decision pending", let's add "undisclosed"!
Which means they know about the decision, you know they know, they know you know they know, but they will still leave you hanging for an unknown period of time, bathing in acidic dread.rant mental breakdown torture i will take all of you to hague abused phd human rights psychological warfare12 -
Company: “we need you to engineer this for one of our clients because you’re an engineer and this is what we pay you for.”
Me: “sure no problem”
Company: “we also need you to do a cost benefit analysis, risk/reward analysis, gap analysis and swot analysis for market fit and business finance because we didn’t task anyone else with doing it and since we’re already paying you for this other thing you may as well do this too”
Me: (opens up resume.docx) “yeah I’ll uh…I’ll get right on that”2 -
I HATE THE OPEN OFFICE LAYOUT I HATE THE OPEN OFFICE LAYOUT I HATE THE OPEN OFFICE LAYOUT I HATE THE OPEN OFFICE LAYOUT8
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I changed jobs 2 years ago and, coincidentally, I haven't written a single rant ever since. I wonder if there's a correlation between these two events 🤔3
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Expat issues of the month is that the HR is taking its sweet time, while I'm trying to find a house and probably need to provide employment certificate or some shit.
So basically, I'll arrive in a month and either be homeless, crash on a friend's at least an hour and half away by PT, or pay for hotel or airbnb.
... Heaven and hell, could you please work together on solving this, particularly the house issue? Because neither am I made of money nor my nerves can currently take this, specially with this upcoming surgery thing. 🙏7 -
I hate how disruptive meetings are, I was coding and now I don’t know what the fuck I was trying to do.9
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Completely 100% not dev related.
But really I need the opinion of smarter people. Tell me how I don't make fun of the way people look, talk down on others regardless of <whatever>. Try to be as nice as possible to everyone, but the moment I say that I am not attracted to overweight people (women in my case since I am a heterosexual male) am I suddenly fatphobic and hate fat people. First of, phobia means fear, and I can assure people that fat people don't trigger any fear response from my end.
Nor do I disregard them as humans just cuz of them extra kilos. But suddenly because I explain how I can't be sexually attracted to someone that is overweight am I fatphobic?
This shit baffles me.52 -
I had my first interview
My answer was 90% "I'll learn it"
I wasn't even know what should I learn and now I know, so I get something through interview I guess6 -
When I need cash, sometimes I go to my clients and sell them "security updates"...
I am a one (wo)man Mafia!4 -
Why does Scrum feel like micromanagement?
I seriously hate daily standup, ours go on for half an hour, sometimes longer and I have to listen to completely unrelated shit I don't know anything about. I cannot explain how disconnected I feel. I'm the only dev working on their website. Some days I don't even need to check in, I have nothing to say.24 -
1800rs/26.66 usd for 2tb Seagate hard disk wtf seriously, can't believe the product but it's on Amazon and I'm tempted, so I ordered it. Let's see what happens. Let the wait for the surprise begin. 😎24
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This is what I typed:
ls -ass
This is what I got:
⠄⠄⠸⣿⣿⢣⢶⣟⣿⣖⣿⣷⣻⣮⡿⣽⣿⣻⣖⣶⣤⣭⡉⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄
⠄⠄⠄⢹⠣⣛⣣⣭⣭⣭⣁⡛⠻⢽⣿⣿⣿⣿⢻⣿⣿⣿⣽⡧⡄⠄⠄⠄
⠄⠄⠄⠄⣼⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣶⣌⡛⢿⣽⢘⣿⣷⣿⡻⠏⣛⣀⠄⠄
⠄⠄⠄⣼⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣦⠙⡅⣿⠚⣡⣴⣿⣿⣿⡆⠄
⠄⠄⣰⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣷⠄⣱⣾⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠄
⠄⢀⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⢸⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠄
⠄⣸⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡿⠣⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠄
⠄⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠿⠛⠑⣿⣮⣝⣛⠿⠿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠄
⢠⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣶⠄⠄⠄⠄⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡟⠄
⢸⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠇⠄⠄⠄⠄⢹⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠁⠄
⣸⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠏⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠸⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡿⢟⣣⣀5 -
After days of trying I finally got Vulkan to render something and I regret it I absolutely regret it5
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Sometimes I wish I was driven by positive reasons, and not by self-loathing and sense of worthlessness. I didn't have an actual vacation for over 3 years.
I am now in Thailand with my parents, and I am working my ass off to meet IROS/RAL deadline instead of chilling. The urge to continue working is really compulsive. I am very tired.
On a brighter note, the early experiments I ran look promising9 -
Interviewer: Yeah so we're hiring you as the person who would build out and own our client-facing web application and related stack.
Dev: Perfect, that's what I've been doing for the past 10 years, I'm your guy.
Interviewer: GREAT SO WHAT IS THE DIFFERENCE BETWEEN FORK AND EXEC ON A PROCESS ON A LINUX MACHINE!?!?!?!?
Dev: I don't... know immediately at this moment?
Dev: Sigh
Dev: I hate my life
Dev: Somebody please help me18 -
X: Hi, regarding that ticket that you made...
You said "Implement logging to find out the culprit in site generation"...
What do you mean exactly?
Me: "Read the meeting notes, we had a full discussion on this 2 weeks ago".
X: "We don't understand it..."
Me: "As I said before, I have no experience in this tech stack... I'd expect bla to have a logging framework and I'd - for easier recognition - implement additional logging levels based on criteria <me just reading the meeting notes>"
X: But how do we do it?
...
I wish I had invented this discussion.
Because it hurts.
For the jolly of it, I had similar discussions today.
Three times to be exactly.
As I asked some dev what I should do next, put a foley catheter up his urethra or change the bed pan he wasn't amused.
Guess I'll get monday a call of HR.
So Monday I have less work to do, which is awesome.4 -
To anyone asking for tips and tricks to start programming or become good at it, here is your ultimate golden advice: learn how to google and stop asking stupid questions like this before doing a quick research.
Reasons why:
1. You will most likely to learn better if you do your own research before asking for help. Even if you can't solve problem, you will be better and better at googling over time.
2. It is instant source of information. No need to wait for response (except response from server of course).
3. It takes only YOUR time.
4. Much more possible solutions/answers to your problems/questions.
5. Your quality of life will be improved over time. Not only your dev life but your daily life too.rant stop asking stupid questions how long this tags can be qol i am not your personal teacher programming tips tips11 -
I leave work feeling like I was beaten. Not just physically, I feel mentally beaten sometimes I want to cry.8
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For the first time I tried to use WordPress. I spent almost 30mins. Now I decided I should not use that again in my life. Fuck WordPress.4
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Most people on Twitter:
Pinned tweet is self-promotional in nature, either advertising some accomplishment, something they’re selling, or introducing people to what they’re about as a person.
Me:8 -
I HATE STANDUP I HATE STANDUP I HATE STANDUP I HATE STANDUP I HATE STANDUP I HATE STANDUP I HATE STANDUP I HATE STANDUP I HATE STANDUP
That is all9 -
Another day, another shitty set of JIRA tickets.
In this week's edition, we run into an issue you'd think is a meme, something you couldn't even make up: three tickets with IDENTICAL titles, but miraculously, they actually refer to three DIFFERENT tasks! (Also comical, they're not bugs, they're tasks, but mouth breathers don't really know the difference, and at this point I just don't have the energy to attempt to explain what could be explained to elementary school children.)
I present a rare look into our national archives!
This document features two exhibits:
Exhibit A: product owner's original ticket titles
Exhibit B: translated-into-competency-because-i'm-not-mentally-deficient ticket titles
Just more proof that 'product owners' don't own shit, the devs are the real ones who actually know what is going on.
I mean just LOOK at Exhibit A's titles. As a big smart manager, do you write those tickets, smile, and say to yourself "Ah, yep, that's very clear, I'll definitely remember what each of these mean literally 5 seconds from now!"
Is asking for literally 30 seconds more of thought too much to ask for? Apparently.
Just kill me
Happy friday ☠️7 -
During my rookie days I used to glorify the fact that I wrote production grade code using vim.
Lol, explains why I would delay on delivery6 -
I promised myself I wouldnt program or study after midnight.
And here I am, making flash cards for git like a total dork, and it's almost 1 am.1 -
Everyone in the gaming internet talking about how Microsoft's Activision Blizzard purchase will usher in a new age of improvements have never had to use teams.19
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I used to do some freelance work for a nonprofit. I’d do some website stuff and gallery sitting.
My friend was the gallery director. When she left, I decided to stop freelancing there and I dropped off the keys with the new director. I told them they could contact me later if they have questions about some things I implemented on the website. The new director thinks I’m a random freelancer and starts to BADMOUTH MY FRIEND, the former director.
Over a year later, the gallery assistant emails me asking about SSL warnings and cc’s the new director. WTF.
1) Those warnings were happening long before I left and long before I even started. 2) I am not your website support. I only invited contact for things I worked on. 3) The assistant already contacted Squarespace and Go Daddy for help and they gave her instructions.
I told her I didn’t set up their website and it sounds like she has the resources to resolve this on her own and she should contact Squarespace and Go Daddy if she needs more help. After all, you pay those companies for their services support and my time isn’t free.rant i didn’t set up your website that was happening before i touched anything my time isn’t free wk291 -
I hate error suppression. I hate error suppression. I hate error suppression. I hate error suppression.1
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was asked if i want stock options during an interview so i said i just care about my salary
fuck my nervous-mode self2 -
WHY DOES GOOGLE CHROME CACHE THIS SHIT AND WON'T LOAD IT AGAIN. I THOUGHT I DIDN'T FIX THE BUG BUT GOOGLE CHROME IS THE BUG. THIS FLYING FUCK9
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The older I get and the more perspective I have on my career, the more I cringe at the times I thought I was awesome but I really wasn’t, especially in the eyes of or in comparison to others I’ve worked with who were much better at this than I am. In that respect, I have very few stories that _aren’t_ embarrassing. I sometimes wonder how I managed to stay employed this long. And whether any stories here on DevRant are about me.
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I said “furrowing his little mouth brow” because I forgot the word “frowning”.
English is my first and only fluently spoken language. -
I switched from CS programming to AI research field and I almost forgot about this community: it's quite a while i don't have a rant to share :)
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I really hate sales people. My stakeholder wants to buy an address verification service but is hesitant to purchase now because the dev time needed would be substantial. Now the sales rep has planted seeds of doubt in my SH and SH thinks I grossly overestimated the labor I quoted.
Sales rep is all “major corporations have installed this in a weekend.” 🤬🤬🤬 Major corporations also have more than one developer and probably aren’t dealing with a website that has a dozen address forms that all work differently. Oh, and I DON’T WORK WEEKENDS MOFO.
My SH originally requested a labor estimate for installing the AVS on all address forms and that’s what I delivered. My audit revealed a dozen different forms. I’m working with a legacy code base that’s been bandaged together and maintained by an outside dev agency. The only thing the forms have in common is reusable address fields. They all work differently when it comes to validating and submitting data to the server and they all submit to different api endpoints. At least a quarter of those forms are broken and would need to be fixed (these are mostly admin-facing). I also had to provide an estimate on frontend implementation when I have no idea what they want the FE to look like.
My estimate was 5-8 weeks for implementation AND testing. I wrote up my findings and clearly explained the labor required, why it was needed, and the time needed. All was fine until the sales rep tried to get into SH’s head.
My SH is now asking for a new estimate and hoping for 1-2 weeks of labor, which is what will SH to buy the AVS. Then go to the outside dev agency you used to work with and ask for a second opinion. I’m sure they’d also tell you at least month if not more for testing, implementation, and deployment because you have a DOZEN FORMS you want to add this to. 1-2 weeks is only possible for a single form.
My manager doesn’t work in the same coding language I do, but he read my documentation and supports my original estimate.
I honestly want to ask my SH if this sales rep is giving a very good price for the AVS. If not, are there other companies in the mix? Because right now you have a sales rep that’s taking you for a ride and trying to pressure you all so he can get another notch in his belt for getting another “major corporation” as his account. I don’t think it’s a good idea to be locked in with a grimy sales rep.3 -
"I need the login credentials for the CMS service"
*sends the email confirmation email*
"No, I can't confirm your email for you. In plain English: send me the email and password to login."
"Ohhhhhhhhh"
Literally what the fuck is wrong with these people.
I swear we're all fucking doomed.5 -
Is it a bad sign when you sit in your car for as long as possible before going into your office building? Asking for a friend.5
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The good: use the hardware watchdog in your application control flow.
The bad: don't use a watchdog.
The ugly: trigger the watchdog from a fucking timer interrupt.3 -
More a call for discussion...
How can it be that devs constantly whine about technical debt, how everything is "ancient" bla bla bla...
Yet don't want to update libraries / stuff unless one explicitly rams an klingon pain stick up their arse because one is very very very very tired of lame excuses.
Even better example - and reason for the rant - new microservice.
They honestly started with JDK 8.
Looking at the dependencies is like walking in a museum...
OWasp Dependency check?
Lot's of 7.5s and greater (NVD score).
How brain fucked ignorant can one team be?!!!
Let alone that that thing - despite being just a skeleton project - has already 178 dependencies.
I don't want to look at the build files, I'll guess I'd turn to Freddy Krueger otherwise...
But really - why whining all the time like you have a clit / arsehole full of sand and then starting a new project with an obviously copy pasted graveyard skeleton?!5 -
"And in a stunning turn of events, he got it to work!"
But seriously... I've literally been throwing shit at a wall and seeing what would stick.
Fucking DTOs and getting shit out of a database. I need better resources on how to do this properly!
Anyways, I found that just using 'object' and letting the compiler deal with the rest of the bullshit actually allowed my code to work and run. I'm still a little in shock.
I'm over here trying to keep things in a nice one-to-one because that's what my PM recommended... and instead I just get slammed by Type casting nonsense and more errors than I can begin to understand. And unfortunately, Stackoverflow is of no help because everyone's issues are very nuanced and unrelated to my problem... Maybe I'm the problem? 🤷
But here it is working without all that bullshit. I don't know man... This code base is not the rager I was expecting. I'm getting my ass kicked with code that doesn't fall in line with the book I'm learning from.
You know how they say, "forget everything you've read and learned"? I'm feeling that really hard right now.
Constantly fighting the urge to rip everything down and do it based on what my book is recommending, but then the logical natured side of me is like "you ain't got that kind of time to be unfucking someone's work, only to get caught in more trouble. Your ego is not worth it"
Anyways, it's fucking late here and I'm glad enough to not have to think about this issue anymore. Bye.3 -
I can't work
I can't sleep
I can't eat
I can't code
I can't go have fun
I can't have a conversation
Because I've got a new exciting idea "💡" buzzing all over my mind all the time.
It's been 9 days already and it's still exciting, probably even more. I think that means it might be worth going ahead and realising it.6 -
None. As soon as I hear about a new trend I fear it. I fear the huge amount of Medium articles I would encounter...
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Installed Ubuntu 18.04 on my system. It feels so good to be back after a year and half approx. It feels refreshing using 18.04, let's see how much time can it hold me. Maybe I'll go on arch after this, last 2 times have been disastrous, but they say 3rd time's the charm. I never found who the fuck "they" is represented everywhere in these type of lines.
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I respect Qt
I respect Qt
I respect Qt
I respect Qt
I respect Qt
I typed every line and did not copy any of those lines to show how much I respect Qt.
Have a nice day, gentlemen2 -
I accidentally forgot to stop my EC2 instance.....
No joke, I have had to use all of my money that I made through freelancing(20 bucks)10 -
Glavic ++es my rants from time to time. I didn’t see them, so I guessed they were relatively new to the platform. I opened the profile and saw a rant that said “sometimes I star rants that don’t deserve it just to remember where I left off”, and now every time I see a ++ from Glavic, my brain remembers it, and I feel bad.4
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What are people's thoughts on identifiable posts? I try to keep everything I say on here discrete so that I can't be identified, but this is the only place I have an anonymous presence. It's a useful outlet for frustration, but I also think it's a shame I feel I have to avoid the possibility of being identified. Elsewhere I use my email handle, so it's... Not exactly subtle.5
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Guys I think I might have adhd and I might be bipolar. Except I have brown parents that aren’t very understanding4
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I started working officially, schedule is shitty till now. I hope it improves soon.
Maybe I will be able to properly rant from now on.8 -
Stakeholder: Can you investigate the problem with this user profile? We made updates to system A, but user is saying it’s the wrong info on the website.
Me: Looks fine to me. Looks like your updates just needed time to trickle down. Though, you will need to clean up this user’s data because it can cause X problems. There’s not much I can do since the site just displays info from system A.
SH: Can you delete the user’s website account and we can ask user to create a new one?
Me: …Ok, let’s try this again. It’s not necessary to delete the account and make the user create a new one. It’s not going to resolve the X problems that I mentioned. The website really needs clean data from system A.1 -
Some older woman in my building tried to cyberbully me. She found a back door because the building’s online message board emails everyone in the building and those emails have a link to email the author.
You bet I snitched on her to building management after she continued to email me after I had asked her to stop and told her that her email was offensive. I don’t tolerate people who make assumptions about my ethnicity and use that as a reason to send me demeaning messages.
And you bet I contacted the developers of the building’s message board about the backdoor. And of course they implied that I could have prevented this and sent me instructions. No, I could not have prevented this and those instructions they sent me would have never applied to my comment on the message board.7 -
Remember, the more "cutting edge" and "thousands of clients" a company has is inversely related to the quality of documentation they have on their APIs and software solutions.
I don't give a fuck about your pretty examples, show me which FIELDS can take which VALUES. It's that simple. Instead, I'm wasting your company's and my own time by spamming support for what should be basic questions clearly outlined in the documentation.2 -
I was in a Meta workshop for PhD candidates, and they spoke about some of their programs. Meta is financing (paying the tuition fees + salary) for PhD students in Oxford and UCL. Could be interesting for people who wanted to go for a PhD in the UK but could not afford it because UK's higher education system sucks.
There was also a coding interview preparation session, and it was honestly nice to hear from them exactly what they expect from their candidates.
But maybe I have positive feeling about this event just because I went to a fucking Green Day concert an hour later, and it was the best day of my pitiful life.2 -
As expected, I take a single day of PTO and I get a whole bunch of emails about stakeholders needing help and requests for website improvements. I have 14 days of PTO that I have to use in the next two months, so stakeholders gonna get a rude surprise when they see my out of office response almost every other day.1
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This and Road Rash and Windows 95 and accidentally deleting the soundcard driver to make space for Rollercoaster Tycoon.1
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Company Emails that tell you
who they are
what believe in.
How they were the market leaders since the stone age.
what their values are
what their holistic approach to life is. How they are diversifying inclusiveness to include diversity.
And how all of this bull shit ties into you being a ideal employee of the organisation
Just to get you to fill a damn form.
Makes me wish the next attempt at human extinction succeeds.4 -
When I just learned about PostgreSQL, I was pronouncing it like "postérgé", like protégé
why am I so cringe13 -
Got sent to a meeting to overlook the purchase of a new system for one of our departments at work.
The meeting in question was made to go over technical requirements, you know, making sure that everything was in order before a formal decision was made.
I get to the meeting, the vendor had consisted of your standard American sales reps before, standard Joes, Steves and such.
Had to reschedule the meeting because the technical spokesperson had the thickest accent in the world and I could not make sense of anything that he was saying. Neither could my coworkers. The tech person was 100% not from the U.S, and that is cool, but I could not make sense of what he was trying to say.
Oh well 🤡 -
Writing this before i go to bed in the hopes that somebody will comment and in the morning i can wake up and pretend i actually have friends.6
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I hate programming!!
I hate programming!!
I hate programming!!
Oh it works!!
I love programming!!
I love programming!!
I love programming!!1 -
I get it. Hooks prevent code repetition. But personally I hate them. I don’t know why. I just don’t like writing them. Maybe it’s because I like writing “this”. Weird, right?3
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you know that feel when you're in one or two weeks of vacation and one day, you look into the mirror and you notice you look like 5 years younger and also you're able to actually enjoy things in life and try out new things, and you wonder, what am i doing with my life...2
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Last 24 hrs have been fucking bad for me. No electricity for almost 22 hours and the inverter died after 12 hours. The foods gone bad in fridge, have been away from almost everything. My phone was at 10%, luckily power bank saved me but now power bank is almost empty (because mi has a huge battery and power bank was only 75%). Don't know what fucking bad things gonna happen now.12
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Me: You decided some records in system A should be obsolete, but the records are tied to active user accounts on the website. Now, I have users emailing and asking why their profile’s last name field says “shell record - do not use.”
Stakeholder: Oh…can’t you stop those profiles from loading? Or redirect the users to the right record in system A? In system A, we set up a relationship between the shell record and the active one.
Me: 😵 Um, no and no. If I stop a user’s profile from on the website, that’s just going to cause more confusion. And the only way to identify those shell record is to look at the last name field, a text field, for that shell record wording. Also, the website uses an API to query data from system A by user id. Whatever record relationship you established isn’t reflected in the vendor’s API. The website can’t get the right record from system A if it doesn’t have the right user id.7 -
!rant
For all of youse that ever wanted to try out Common Lisp and do not know where to start (but are interested in getting some knowledge of Common Lisp) I recommend two things:
As an introductory tutorial:
https://lisperati.com/casting.html/
And as your dev environment:
https://portacle.github.io/
Notice that the dev environment in question is Emacs, regardless of how you might feel about it as a text editor, i can recommend just going through the portacle help that gives you some basic starting points regarding editing. Learn about splitting buffers, evaluating the code you are typing in order for it to appear in the Common Lisp REPL (this one comes with an environment known as SLIME which is very popular in the Lisp world) as well as saving and editing your files.
Portacle is self contained inside of one single directory, so if you by any chance already have an Emacs environment then do not worry, Portacle will not touch any of that. I will admit that as far as I am concerned, Emacs will probably be the biggest hurdle for most people not used to it.
Can I use VS Code? Yes, yes you can, but I am not familiar with setting up a VSCode dev environment for Emacs, or any other environment hat comes close to the live environment that emacs provides for this?
Why the fuck should I try Common Lisp or any Lisp for that matter? You do not have to, I happen to like it a lot and have built applications at work with a different dialect of Lisp known as Clojure which runs in the JVM, do I recommend it? Yeah I do, I love functional programming, Clojure is pretty pure on that (not haskell level imo though, but I am not using Haskell for anything other than academic purposes) and with clojure you get the entire repertoire of Java libraries at your disposal. Moving to Clojure was cake coming from Common Lisp.
Why Common Lisp then if you used Clojure in prod? Mostly historical reasons, I want to just let people know that ANSI Common Lisp has a lot of good things going for it, I selected Clojure since I already knew what I needed from the JVM, and parallelism and concurrency are baked into Clojure, which was a priority. While I could have done the same thing in Common Lisp, I wanted to turn in a deliverable as quickly as possible rather than building the entire thing by myself which would have taken longer (had one week)
Am I getting something out of learning Common Lisp? Depends on you, I am not bringing about the whole "it opens your mind" deal with Lisp dialects as most other people do inside of the community, although I did experience new perspectives as to what programming and a programming language could do, and had fun doing it, maybe you will as well.
Does Lisp stands for Lots of Irritating Superfluous Parentheses or Los in stupid parentheses? Yes, also for Lost of Insidious Silly Parentheses and Lisp is Perfect, use paredit (comes with Portacle) also, Lisp stands for Lisp Is Perfect. None of that List Processing bs, any other definition will do.
Are there any other books? Yes, the famous online text Practical Common Lisp can be easily read online for free, I would recommend the Lisperati tutorial first to get a feel for it since PCL demands more tedious study. There is also Common Lisp a gentle introduction. If you want to go the Clojure route try Clojure for the brave and true.
What about Scheme and the Structure and Interpretation of Computer Programs? Too academic for my taste, and if in Common Lisp you have to do a lot of things on your own, Scheme is a whole other beast. Simple and beautiful really, but I go for practical in terms of Lisp, thus I prefer Common Lisp.
how did you start with Lisp?
I was stupid and thought I should start with it after a failed attempt at learning C++, then Java, and then Javascript when I started programming years ago. I was overwhelmed, but I continued. Then I moved to other things. But always kept Common Lisp close to heart. I am also heavy into A.I, Lisp has a history there and it is used in a lot of new and sort of unknown projects dealing with Knowledge Reasoning and representation. It is also Alien tech that contains many things that just seem super interesting to me such as treating code as data and data as code (back-quoting, macros etc)
I need some inspiration man......show me something? Sure, look for a game called Kandria in youtube, the creator, Shimera (Nicolas Hafner) is an absolute genius in the world of Lisp and a true inspiration. He coded the game in Common Lisp, he is also the person behind portacle. If that were not enough, he might very well also be Shirakumo, another prominent member of the Common Lisp Community.
Ok, you got me, what is the first thing in common lisp that I should try after I install the portacle environment? go to the repl and evaluate this:
(+ 0.1 0.2)
Watch in awe at what you get.
In the truest and original sense of the phrase (MIT based) "happy hacking!"10 -
!rant.
I fucked up. Recently I applied for a job in Intel. All questions they throw at me I answered well, but there's one question that f**ked me hard that I can't think of any answer to. (Because ! am not familiar with this)
I was questioned about SLAM ( Simultaneous localization and mapping), I am new to this.
Now I think I failed to get the job. Therefore, I f**ked up15 -
A few days back I joined my first job. I didn't had so many expectations but still I had a little hope. But no the trainer was a dumb ass person, like he did so many annoying things. I'll give you one, he repeatedly tried putting hdmi cable in VGA port. Even after we told him.4
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Me walking down the corridors of my building after hours, singing full on out loud (I can actually sing)
Lyrics(by yours truly homage to Mika)
I wanna talk to you!
The last time we talked, Mr. Smith, you reduced me to tears
I promise you it won't happen again!
Do I attract you? Do I repulse you with my queasy smile?
Am I too dirty? Am I too flirty? Do I like what you like?
I could be wholesome, I could be loathsome, I guess I'm a little bit shy
Why don't you like me? Why don't you like me without making me try?
Some voice at the other side of the building: "who is there singing???!"
Me:
"I tried to be like Grace Kelly!!"
"but all her looks are too sad"
"so I tried a little Freddy MMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMM"
"I've gone identity maaaaaaaaaaaad"
then I walked inside of my office and stopped spooking the janitors. Really wish someone would join in and helped me sing the high note parts of the song really. I've got no audience here smfh -
JIRA life:
Project leader proceeds to put what is actually two separate issues in the title. I'm already raging. I go to take a look at it.
I read the description - ANOTHER (this makes it three now) totally seperate issue in there.
Just fuck you I'm so sick it i see it over and over again no matter where I go or what project I work on its all the same bullshit.
"wE wAnT tO cLeARlY dEfINe iSsUeS aNd MoVe RaPiDlY"
YEAH THEN F&Q*@#()#$(@)#$ DO YOUR F$*(@#(*&$ JOB!!!! I'M DOING MINE, IN ADDITION TO DOING YOURS, CLEANING UP YOUR ABSOLUTE MESS THAT YOU LEFT!!!!1 -
A YouTube creator I follow included a clip of The Chicken Song by Spitting Image in a video. I had managed to, for over a decade, forget this song existed.
Now it’s back.
To haunt my every moment of silence.
Again.
😭6 -
The Berlin rental market is so bad that I have to spend my long weekend figuring out how to write a bot to send applications for me.. (or keep hitting F5 all day and still be too late)5
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I told the interviewer I was a rockstar developer.
I didn't tell him I meant rockstar in the "take loads of drugs and trash the hotel room" sense.1 -
Maybe I should stop watching the office while I code, I have only gotten like 50 lines of code down in the last hour lol.4
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When I work from home, I probably spend less time working, but I do it seriously
When I work in the office I spend most of the time I would not actually work, pretending to work and probably time spent in actual work is much less
But I guess that better performances in work from home, do not feed automotive industry… -
One day, the Director of Web Ops (marketing role) submitted a ticket to update the list of product categories on the website’s navigation. Sounds like a simple ticket right? Just some html edits. Nope. Every day for three days, she changes her mind and adds new changes. What should have taken me 10 minutes stretched out to three days. She held up code review of my ticket because she kept making changes.
She had plenty of time to sort out what she wanted. That ticket had been sitting in the To Do pile for two days before I touched it.
She was being an asshole because she knew she could get away with it and I had no recourse: my direct manager was on vacation, the entire dev team was going to be laid off anyway so no one was going to defend us on “trivial” matters, and we were going to enter code freeze soon so she’d just argue it was critical business changes for our critical revenue season.
I suspect she was also just not good at her job. I never met her in person because she was hired during the 2020 pandemic and we were all working remotely. I did see her make a five minute presentation during an all staff meeting…and she didn’t come off too well. Her voice was trembling during her turn to speak…like she was not confident or not prepared.
She knew she was causing chaos but she put on this act of not knowing. She was definitely trained on our dev team’s practices for tickets and deployments. She knows about code review, beta testing, and user acceptance testing that has to happen before a ticket can be deployed.
It happened to be before Thanksgiving weekend 2020. Our deploy was going to happen on Tuesday instead of Thursday because Thursday was a holiday (no one would be working) and Wednesday was a half day.
Tuesday afternoon at 1pm, she messages me and the dev in charge of deploy about more changes! My time is already occupied because our Product Manager went on vacation and dumped a large amount of user acceptance testing on me. I scream at my computer at that point because I realize I’m in the ninth circle of hell. I tell the other dev in a separate message that Web Ops has been making changes EVERY DAY since I picked up that ticket.
Other dev tells her that we have to check with the C-suite executive for engineering because we’re not allowed to make changes to tickets so close to the deploy. This is actually the policy. He also tries to give Web Ops the benefit of the doubt because we’re not deploying on our usual day. He had to do that to so she didn’t feel bad (and so she doesn’t complain about us not working towards the company’s goals).
Other dev had to do the code changes because I was otherwise occupied with user acceptance testing. If I were him, I’d be pissed that I was distracted from concentrating on the deploy so close to the holiday.
Director of Web Ops was actually capable of even more chaos. I ranted about it before. For that dramatization and if you want to go down the rabbit hole, see: https://devrant.com/rants/4811518/...4 -
In coding, projects and life in general, how can i know when should i say
"hey this isnt working, i should probably go and do something else"
and when should i say
"damn its getting difficult but i must not quit, i have to remain focused and consistent even when I don't want to"
?4 -
- looking for a specific device in a single e-shop
- browse the listings of available SKUs
- find the one I want, buy it
And after I buy it, for some reason ad services think I need another one (or perhaps several other ones) from the same shop, as they keep showing me ads with the part I've purchased. And this goes on for weeks...
Talk about AI and clever advertising algorithms........5 -
!dev
So my (public) health insurance should cover a test I'd like to make. But if I don't want to call a bunch of clinics every week for months only to get an appointment a year later eventually I'll have to pay myself (to get an appointment in a few months instead). -
My mind is so clear when I stop caring about my work. I was clearly stating the problems I have been facing, I was clear for the next steps, I was clear what's been blocking us. :)
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Every day i wonder if i should just quit the dev life and write childrens books. I am imagining the skillsets should transfer pretty well.
Then i remember i have bills to pay -
I am definitely not sean connory.
I wish linkedin recruiters and devs online would stop accusing me of being sean connory.
Why would I..I mean sean connory, who by the way I am definitely NOT...why would I be on devrant anyway?
For the last time, I am not sean connory.6 -
I had to contact technical support for an API. I’m pretty sure I was emailing with a bot because I was getting all sorts of stupid replies.
Me: I’m using your SDK for language X. It’s returned null for some properties. In the user portal, I can see there are values for those properties for the transaction. I don’t know why I’m not receiving them on my end.
Tech Support: Hi! I see the following was sent in the API response. [Sends api response to me.] You can also go the the portal to see those values.
Me: Yeah, I know. You just repeated everything I wrote to you. I don’t want to go to the portal. I told you I want to figure out why your SDK doesn’t seem to map those properties correctly when I receive the api response.
TS: Let me look at the docs. I think you need to send the properties you want in your request in order to get them back in the reply from the api. Such as <property>value<property> in the xml message.
🤨 The docs do not say that. They don’t even imply that.
Me: What the fuck?! That makes absolutely no sense. We have already established that the api **is** returning values for those properties. I want to troubleshoot why your SDK is mapping them as NULL. -
Talent Acquisition for a company I previously turned down reached out to me again. Bragging about their business acquisitions and head count increase. Lol that means nothing to me unless you significantly improved your pretty shitty PTO policy, which is why I turned them down in the first place and explicitly told them that was the reason.
I guess they think I’m desperate because I haven’t updated my LinkedIn, so it looks like I’ve been unemployed for a year. Nope, not unemployed. Just don’t want my enemies to find me at new job.
I ranted about that place here: https://devrant.com/rants/4832237/...2 -
[!dev]
Sometimes I feel an overwhelming lack of willpower that prevents me from moving except for my eyes. It passes within a minute and leaves a temporary tiredness. I didn't really think about it until now and I have no idea why, but yesterday it happened while a friend was talking about something they're passionate about and I realised that this is very far from normal. Have you experienced something like this?5 -
I didn't realise how much home office messed me up until I went into the office again... holy fuck, it feels like I just woke up from some nightmare.
I cannot explain it, but I feel a lot better now.2 -
I just set up pi-hole for my network, yay
I have another (older) raspberry pi laying around, any ideas what I could do with it?5 -
I think i have fallen into clinical depression becahse i am uncontrollably crying while writing code. I am having so many bugs i dont knkw hkw tk fix. I published my app to google plah store and the registration doesnt work. On app store cant be even published. After 4 years of development i failed i am so sad and depressed3
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My wife gave me an iPhone for Christmas. The last one I had was the 4. As soon as it connected to my computer and I answered the first call from it. I don't know, I fell in love. Mind you, I don't want the Apple Watch. I have an amazfit neo and I like it that way.6
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I am implementing an API. How do I know what to do? Read the docs! Unless... there's none on the website. Asked by email and they could provide a PDF, which contains some graphics which you're free to interpret ...
Machine readable description? Nope.
How do I get to know about updates to the API? *blank stare*4 -
Not gonna lie, been chipping away at this for almost an hour and I can't figure out how to solve it, let alone elegantly:
https://leetcode.com/problems/...37 -
Follow up rant: https://devrant.com/rants/4943574/...
(Funny link btw.)
I tell him "Fine, upload it to the GitLab repo I created a week ago and you never used it." on Friday.
Today, the day *before the presentation*: "Here, have the GitHub repo, ask for permission and you're all set up.".
He's getting the boot.3 -
Well i spent an hour debugging to find out i wrote throw instead of return somewhere. I have no idea how i even managed to do that.
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Me: I opened a support ticket with the software vendor last week. I haven’t heard from them yet and the can be slow to respond. I’m unable to debug the issue on my end. If you can’t wait, here are some solutions to explore. [sends a few suggestions]
Stakeholder: Can I give you examples of another error that I think is related? Is that worth exploring?
Me: 😑 No. I’ve reached the limit of what I can do for debugging. I need the vendor to answer my support ticket. -
I spent the whole damn day trying to setup grpc-web, but this protocol is documented so damn poorly!
You manage to set grpc up for one language and it’s all cool, then you stupidly think that you are free to reuse the compiler you used for the nodejs version for your frontend part but nope! Our web module is now deprecated, please use this module instead!
“Ah yes just clone the repo and check out (…) and you can also check this link whic is in no way highlighted in the middle of a wall of text (…)”
*checking the other page*
Ah yes you need to install a package available only on your unix machine (great! Screw the devs in my team who use windows I guess, they’ll be happy to hear this!) and don’t forget to clone this repo to build your own plugin! And by that I ofc mean to compile it on your own!
- compiler error
After digging for an hour you find a requirement in an obscure issue opened and closed cause “ah yes we have a dependency not stated anywhere” *close issue and never add it to the project*
Fine, fine I can survive this bs
- another compiler error, no solution found after 2 hours
Honestly? Why the fuck do I need to compile this stuff? Just give me a damn npm package I can use? Goddamn it’s just transpiling, you don’t need access to my OS! (Aside for fs to save the files, and which btw is accessible via nodejs)
Now, I COULD download the latest realease as a precompiled, but… honestly?
I give up, I’ll do some shitty rest apis cause the customer’s not paying me enough for even THINKING to go trough this shit again when they’ll ask an iOS app. Or having colleagues asking me to help them understand how to do it.
Side note: also add typescript support to the web-code-generation ffs! Why does node have it and web don’t?5 -
Why is it that when I have motivation to work, I have no work and when I don't have motivation to work I have a lot of work?5
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I wish WhatsApp had delete for everyone with no limits. I wanna delete everything I ever sent in college groups ;-;2
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Sometimes I feel like I can achieve everything in this very moment, sometimes, I'm like "meh! why do I exist? why I'm working that hard." 🥴1
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I feel like I am not CS major.
I doble major'ed on 3rd year, so don't have deep knowledge like other 'real' CS majors.2 -
Hope you don’t hate me, but I have a confession to make. When I’m on mobile, I like safari better than chrome. No explanation, I just do.6
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Notion: Working with variable arguments in C is weird.
Hypothesis: It might be weird because I am used to it with more....err...dynamic languages.
Solution: hit the docs and stop bitching about shit
Situation that put me in here: Trying to do a game engine is hard....5 -
So it me again and loviing my life at this tech startup..... i feel like I'm actually achieving something thogh at a slow pace
I know i can give out more to this startup.....but there is this 1 manager in our technical department......FUCK the old man thinks he knows everything and so damn arrogant.... at one time he made a fucking simple error which was fucking obvius but the man you cant tell him anything
if anything goes wrong or if anything isnt working the FUCKING old man is quick to throw the blame on people which i feel isnt supposed to be a mind set of some1 in the technical department..... I get it yes sometimes it will be the person making errors but even when you do it right and its not coming out as its supposed to be the damn OLD FUCKING MAN says you are doing it wrong.....then he steps in and bang....it fels and he'll be like "WHAT? HOW WHATS GOING ON...."
and me silently will be like MAKE IT WORK FUCKING OLD GENIUS
I cant even bring in new ideas and systems into the company......hell be like WE ALREADY HAVE SYSTEMS IN PLACE.... guess what..... no fucking system is being used -
I have a task:
Make a feature to gather donates at web site through debit cards and e.t.c.
Additional conditions:
There is no company to register the payment gateway.
U need to find the one that would agree to work with physical person in Russia.
It needs to accept payments in USD and EURO worldwide.1 -
When you unknowingly/accidentally/inadvertently delete something someone was working on for a long time and they don’t tell you until several months later when all the backups are long rotated out. No way to fix it and nothing left to do but accept blame and sanctions and work to regain lost trust. Kill me now.4
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Tuesdays are great days to waste in meetings with vendors that have no idea of what they're talking about. Too bad these people always manage to convince the business side.
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I have started reading The Phoenix Project and I suspect that story is based on current situation in company I work for ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)
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@dfox For some reason, I can favorite my own rants if I send a request to do it manually, I guess that's not... good?9
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I created a 100GB partition and when i install OS on it pc boots straight to windows
how can i solve this17 -
Why the fuck can we have nice things? Atom was a perfect match for my work, extremely practical and the extensibility of it was amazing.
MS deciding to starve that project from resources is very shitty.3 -
I don't understand why I'm running Angular app inside docket for development.
I guess I love my complicated life.3 -
I am about to start a project in RUSTLang , so RUSTLang Dev , is there anything I need to aware or advice before I start ?7
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I always thought the biggest obstacle to my freedom is the two big monitors I can't live without.
Today I realize it's Putin's nuclear bombs.1 -
I like to switch up my Google Meet and Zoom backgrounds. Keep people guessing where the heck I am. I’m a remote worker. It definitely messes with some people. Both the backgrounds and the permanent WFH thing.
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So much dead code. Things that are not used anymore. Things that are expected to work, but don’t because of website redesign. Does it need to be fixed if no one reports it broken? Just so much dead code.💀1
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I never use pwd.
Either I figure out where I am via my prompt, or I use LS and sleuth out the folder via its contents, or I just "cd" and restart from home but I NEVER have used pwd.8 -
so i have this dilemma whether i would want to try and make a web app but every time i wanna start i always think that there are better apps out there than what i have in mind or it absolutely wont go well and i never end up actually make progress on one. what do i do?2
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Following my last post, just looked up the Win 11 features....
https://devrant.com/rants/4930011/...
Yawn.... Feels like more trouble upgrading than staying on 10. -
I blended mangos, banana and strawberry with condensed milk. I didn’t know what I was expecting but this taste isn’t it.1