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Joined devRant on 3/7/2017
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*at work* (fictional names)
Kevin (linux support engineer): Bob, could you come for a second to take a look at something?
Bob (senior linux engineer): *tiny voice from a corner behind a desk* bob is not available right now. Please try again later.
Kevin: Bob, please, just for a second!
Bob: bob is not available right now, please try again later.
Kevin: Boooooooooooooob, come heeeeereeeee
Bob: as said before, bob is not available right now, try again later.
Kevin: but booooooob, come oooooon.
Bob: it seems that you might have a hearing problem since bob is still not available.
Kevin: but booooohooooob, come heeeeeeeeeeereee
Bob: it seems like the person on the other side of this line might be retarded. Bob is not available right now.
Kevin: But boooohooooohooooooob come oooohooohooon, just for a seeehehecond *starts fake sobbing"
Bob: Bob is getting real tired of your shit. Leave bob alone.
😆14 -
Sweet baby Jesus the stories are true. I thought this day would never come but yesterday I found a website in production straight out of a horror story.
Inline script tags that contained spaghetti code and static content. And to top it off inline style with position absolute for everything 😰😰
Also worth mentioning a couple of broken pages(404) and a beatufill repeat-y image for the background😳
I lost all hope😂16 -
!rant
This I met somebody on the train that is following the education for Quantum Physics.
After a bit of talk, I noticed he looked like he could be 24 and 50 at the same time...
Well that's some dedication8 -
So i finished my first app today and i feel really good, it's not a great app or anything. But i feel good after making something and i am really happy :D5
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If that rant reaches 666 ++'s, I'm gonna cut a client's dick and sacrifice it to our Lord and Savior Satan.33
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Bucket list!
- Host my current webapp project.
- Hit 2k ++'s
- Achieve Zen, a few times
- Start a new remote job
- GET A NEW LAPTOP
- GET A GIRLFRIEND (The recurring item)
There's alot more, but for now these should do.8 -
As a developer, sometimes you hammer away on some useless solo side project for a few weeks. Maybe a small game, a web interface for your home-built storage server, or an app to turn your living room lights on an off.
I often see these posts and graphs here about motivation, about a desire to conceive perfection. You want to create a self-hosted Spotify clone "but better", or you set out to make the best todo app for iOS ever written.
These rants and memes often highlight how you start with this incredible drive, how your code is perfectly clean when you begin. Then it all oscillates between states of panic and surprise, sweat, tears and euphoria, an end in a disillusioned stare at the tangled mess you created, to gather dust forever in some private repository.
Writing a physics engine from scratch was harder than you expected. You needed a lot of ugly code to get your admin panel working in Safari. Some other shiny idea came along, and you decided to bite, even though you feel a burning guilt about the ever growing pile of unfinished failures.
All I want to say is:
No time was lost.
This is how senior developers are born. You strengthen your brain, the calluses on your mind provide you with perseverance to solve problems. Even if (no, *especially* if) you gave up on your project.
Eventually, giving up is good, it's a sign of wisdom an flexibility to focus on the broader domain again.
One of the things I love about failures is how varied they tend to be, how they force you to start seeing overarching patterns.
You don't notice the things you take back from your failures, they slip back sticking to you, undetected.
You get intuitions for strengths and weaknesses in patterns. Whenever you're matching two sparse ordered indexed lists, there's this corner of your brain lighting up on how to do it efficiently. You realize it's not the ORMs which suck, it's the fundamental object-relational impedance mismatch existing in all languages which causes problems, and you feel your fingers tingling whenever you encounter its effects in the future, ready to dive in ever so slightly deeper.
You notice you can suddenly solve completely abstract data problems using the pathfinding logic from your failed game. You realize you can use vector calculations from your physics engine to compare similarities in psychological behavior. You never understood trigonometry in high school, but while building a a deficient robotic Arduino abomination it suddenly started making sense.
You're building intuitions, continuously. These intuitions are grooves which become deeper each time you encounter fundamental patterns. The more variation in environments and topics you expose yourself to, the more permanent these associations become.
Failure is inconsequential, failure even deserves respect, failure builds intuition about patterns. Every single epiphany about similarity in patterns is an incredible victory.
Please, for the love of code...
Start and fail as many projects as you can.30 -
Fuck I hate it so much talking to any of the hosting support chats, seriously questioned if it's some brainless bot talking, after I literally just answered his question (and ~3 times before that) and he asks it again2
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I sometimes spend a lot of time fixing Cocoapods integration issues when commiting and pushing to our git repo
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I would abolish the idea of store loyalty cards. No point of sale would ever understand these invasions of privacy.
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Ahem id like two superpowers please ,
Then first one would be to telepathically nerf down parasitic ideas instantly, I could actually be the next superman if I had this.. Could save a lot of lives in the developer realm.
The second one is the power to instantly fix any kernel / driver / boot problem and make everything compatible with Linux2 -
when the release date is may 31 and the client thought it's a good idea to request a bunch of new features and changes in friday afternoon :)
Tomorrow is gonna be a fun birthday... -
!rant example of effective cross-language communication. A Drake meme can save up to 140 characters on avg.12
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I'd bring back ActionScript 3, make sure it is supported in all environments including iPhones, make swf files lighter in size, make adobe air a popular platform, basically I'd do everything to bring back AS3, even make it open sourced, so that Adobe doesn't make all the money.
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I'd love to have a hint for solving the problem every time, my frustration about the bug is almost the max, so I could stay way more concentrated for extremly shitty bugs.
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I tried to learn Java by watching tutorial videos on YouTube. After falling sleep on chapter 3, the next day I started programming in JavaScript.
Don't ask how, don't ask why.
And yes, I thought that Java and JavaScript was the same... For about 5 minutes until finding StackOverflow.
Good times.2 -
Create wanna cry targeting only Linux users.😂😂. so that Linux users appreciate why some people prefer windows it's there choice let them be.2
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My dev superpower would be finding bugs instantly, because I think looking for bugs is the most time consuming part in programming.1
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I want my super power to be 'not give a fuck' because I have almost perfected this super power, (I don't give a fuck about your thoughts mr customer, mr project manager your collective ideas are turd and I don't have enough polish and glitter left in my drawer to make this turd shine)