Dear great ux lords at ms azure devops, could you make the whole freaking button clickable instead of just the text inside of the button?

Where did my kitty @retoor go?

Serverless.

This is where your Lambdas run

Quote from reddit is too true

If your company runs AI generated SEO for other AI generated advertising for SEO services that promote your AI to other SEO services- you might be snake oil peddling and if anyone looks twice at your company it will blow over like a solo cup on the back porch.

https://reddit.com/r/...

Aaaargh. What a bitch

We had a production outage directly caused by our team not following a change procedure correctly. Now we're under a microscope and in a "get well" program.

They took over the daily standup for this high priority program and are organizing efforts in confluence instead of jira.

Now we have a confluence doc of what everyone is working on with someone changing the text status in a table by hand every morning along with the comments in a note section...

I’m making a cut-down version of scratch for a personal project and I just fucking had to write a linker for it.

I fucking… it’s… a flowchart language… and to avoid a hash-table lookup of function identifier to underlying logic.. I wrote a linker.

It’s like, maybe 10 total lines. So not a real linker. But still. Just a bit crazy.

20 minutes for a 1GB update.

It's getting tiresome and an inconvenience to switch on an Xbox for a quick game.

I have installed entire Operating Systems quicker.than these updates take to complete.

Consoles used to be convenient to fire up and play, that was a lot of the appeal.

And are controllers getting heavier?

Open letter to any website that is trying to implement "smooth scrolling" on their website using JavaScript: stop, consider how awful it is 100% of the time, and kill yourself please.

So true

Modern technology is absolutely bullshit

I can't even

Now my keyboard on my phone is even too broken to complain about it

I wanted to look at someone's post history on a forum

To do so the forum wants an account. Ok. So I gave it my old junk Hotmail account during sign up for it to send me an email confirm so I can make the account so I can search. Well I'm refreshing this account for this confirm account email through the Gmail app on my phone because who even checks emails on computers anymore

Turns out, aside from this Hotmail spam email account having a lot of junk emails (it is my junk email account), there's this little pop-up that happens SOMETIMES claiming that it can't sync. I checked inbox and spam and the email isn't in there. So 1 out of 10 times I refresh there's this little "cannot sync" message that pops up and I click it. It claims my storage on my phone is too full to sync. Ok.

So I go try to find storage through the settings in my phone. It doesn't exist as a category anymore apparently. Thankfully phones have a search feature now -- because we can't have sane settings anymore so here's a search feature. First result it gives me is just device info. That's useless. It's just the hardware specs for my phone

Second it shows storage. 90% full apparently. That's odd. I have 132 gb. Thankfully it subdivided it by what's taking up space but it doesn't make much sense and a bunch of the categories don't open to anything

Apparently the fucking android operating system is 32 GB now? Well you're fucked if you wanna remove that. Apparently years of photos and videos is 20 gb, I can back those up and delete them. Similarly I have downloads in folders, and that's about 20 gb

Why are there 20 GB of apps? I literally have no apps!

Part of apps? Wtf is Gboard and why is it a gig

Why is my WEATHER APP using a gig of storage?

And none of the apps can I remove the storage they're using. The cache is like 600kb, and I can delete all data and it's using like 60 MB. So the fucking weather app executable itself is a gig of space? Wtf?

I deleted the data for Gboard and turns out that's the keyboard. So now all my keyboard settings are fucked.

Thankfully I wrote syncing scripts ages ago to sync various folders from my phone to my external HDD. I just had to connect it to the laptop and run the script on the external HDD. Problem? Well turns out no matter what I do I can't get the laptop to connect to the phone if it's USB file transfer mode. I can do photos. But this is gonna be more than photos.

So I do my sync backup script from the laptop to the external HDD. This will sync the camera, since I have sync thing sync my laptop and phone all the time, so I can just sync the laptop to the external HDD and then delete the older photos and get 20gb. Quick fix for now

Why do I need this quick fix?
Well
Get this
I've been having issues with my Gmail client for ages. It just won't display new email notifications which is really annoying because I need to know when emails get sent to me.
Now I'm thinking, maybe I can de-sync older emails and have more storage space maybe? But that's not an option anywhere. Actually, I can't even unconnect an email address from my phone. Gmail doesn't even let you do that

What the flying fuck is the state of modern technology

Now I have to go figure out what my fucking settings were for my stupid phone keyboard

The 90s were much fucking saner than this garbage. I don't need a 32 GB operating system on a phone. Is this fucking windows 8? And let me fucking tell YOU how many fucking emails you should sync to my phone. Holy shit what the fuck is all this

At least my Linux scripts fucking work like I wrote them

Windows: "works, but..."
Linux: "doesn't work, but..."

Shampoo for women:
- heavenly papaya
- nourishing silk
- calming melt-in banana

Shampoo for men:
- badass molten lead storm
- dragon fire tsunami
- velociraptor fuckfest

The life of every individual, viewed as a whole and in general, and when only its most significant features are emphasized, is really a tragedy; but gone through in detail it has the character of a comedy.

For learning purposes, I made a minimal TensorFlow.js re-implementation of Karpathy’s minGPT (Generative Pre-trained Transformer). One nice side effect of having the 300-lines-of-code model in a .ts file is that you can train it on a GPU in the browser.

https://github.com/trekhleb/...

The Python and Pytorch version still seems much more elegant and easy to read though...

All the crypto bots and hire a hacker adverts make no sense. After all, they still need to either go through the API or make a selenium script. Will still take them 1 to 2 hours at least to build it. For what?

To advertise to a dying platform that has a dwindling community, which is on top of it well-versed in programming and technically affine, so that the probability of profiting of it is tiny...

My conjecture: A devrant member is pulling a long running prank.

I bet it's someone like theRealJase. Or someone like that.

My new favourite license

# The "You Can't Have It" License (YCHI)

**Version 1.0, October 2024**

**Copyright Me. All rights reserved.**

## 1. Definitions

**1.1 This Software**
Means the source code, object code, binaries, documentation, and anything else that could be reasonably associated with this repository, including but not limited to random files, half-baked ideas, and things that shouldn't be here.

**1.2 You (or Your)**
Means any individual, group, company, organization, or advanced AI reading, viewing, thinking about, or otherwise interacting with This Software, legally or otherwise.

**1.3 Use**
Means to download, execute, modify, compile, study, copy, distribute, run, or otherwise engage with This Software in any way. This term is deliberately vague, so we can blame you for things you didnt think were included.

**1.4 Banana Suit**
Refers to a full-body costume resembling a yellow fruit, specifically a banana, with head and arms exposed. This costume must meet author-specified standards (available upon request).

**1.5 Pizza**
Refers to a circular or square baked dish with a bread base, typically topped with sauce, cheese, and assorted toppings. **Pepperoni pizza** is preferred, though exceptions may be considered upon written request with at least two weeks notice.

**1.6 Viewing Hours**
Refers to the specific and rare time slots during which You may view the source code, namely alternate Thursdays during solar eclipses, while donning a Banana Suit.

---

## 2. Terms and Conditions for Use, Distribution, and Modification

**2.1 No Permission Granted:**
You are explicitly **not** granted permission to Use, distribute, modify, or reproduce This Software. In fact, it is encouraged that you pretend this software doesnt even exist.

**2.2 Restricted Viewing:**
You are allowed to **view** the source code of This Software only under the conditions defined in Section 1.6 ("Viewing Hours"). Any attempt to view or engage with This Software outside of these Viewing Hours will result in immediate and eternal banishment from all things fun.

**2.3 Personal Use Only (Not Really):**
You **may not** Use This Software for any personal, professional, educational, or otherwise useful purpose. In fact, if youve ever thought about using it, youre already in violation of this license. Apologize immediately.

**2.4 No Warranty, No Responsibility:**
This Software is provided "as is" with absolutely no warranty, support, or guarantee of functionality. If it breaks, you get to keep both pieces. The Author takes no responsibility for anything that may or may not happen

don't hack hungry, guys

Staring at computer trying to figure out why I can't read a float from modbus. I swapped the bytes correctly for my platform. I also ensured the endianess of the words matched my platform (byte endianess is not the sames as word endianess, fml). Was driving home thinking about what could be wrong. My mind saw this code:

uint32_t newint;
for(int count=0; count<2; count++){
newint |= words[count] << count;
}

Then I am fuck! It should be:
newint |= words[count] << (count*16);

This was later turned into float. I kept getting values in the 1e-40 or some shit. Now it makes sense. The upper word was not set.

This is such newb shit. Fuck you newb shit I should just know!

Reading more I realized that the endianess of words can vary between devices even though the spec calls for big endian words. Fuck you non-compliant vendors! So I gotta add a flag for fucked up devices. Fine. The pay off is a generic way to add modbus to our opcua server. I want this easily editable in the field. For now it is readonly. So that makes it nicer.

Just a little torqued that I solved this driving home instead of at work. Too close to the code. I think tomorrow I will have my boss review it to tell me of other logical crap I missed.

So I have been setting goals for my interaction with people on devrant. I had the goal of getting someone to spray liquid out of their mouth in response to something I posted. I believe I had one person self report on this (maybe two). My next goal was getting someone to shit their pants in response to a post. I figured with @b2plane here my chances were a lot higher. As of Nov, 2024 nobody has reported on this. That goal still stands.

Maybe some new goals for this next upcoming year should be:
1. get someone to rage quit (not sure this in a good goal)
2. get someone to "dad splain" to me
3. triggered downvotes (I have had some in the past, so this is a recurring goal)
4. inspire anti-posts (some of you are natural inspirers it seems, respect)
5. actually create funny memes (maybe not possible, shitposting will continue though)

Does anyone have ideas for some good edge lording goals?

Fucking hell, why does the phone decide I can't use my last 4% of battery for the torch function? Fuckers, you can imagine that if the user does that, it's really needed right!? Give a warning or smth. It's not like that 4% is good for a phone call either. What's the point of that last 4% battery then.

I live in a park 5km from outside village center. When it gets dark in the middle of nowhere, it gets black, really black. So, I was cycling home and my bicycle light died. And halfway, it was almost completely dark so I wanted to use the torch on my phone so I could at least see if I'm still on the bicycle road. That's how dark it was and it fucking refused. But then - someone caught up from behind and could follow that person until my exit (one I would've never had found anymore) cycled a hundred meters in pitch black until I saw lights of the park. God dammit, fucked up experience. If that cyclist with light wasn't there, I would've had to walk and hoping I was walking in a straight line. Normally I already go before it gets that dark because bicycle light nearly isn't enough.

And that all, because those fuckers decide what you do with your last battery. Fuck you.

Same for headphone, if ten percent battery left, more than a hour, it starts beeping every minute. So I have to listen a hour that the battery is almost "dead"? Almost dead is 5 minutes left fuckers, not whole hour!

Who designs these things?

Team Leader, once again, wagered I was wrong on a technical thing
I, once again, accepted his wager

Team Leader, once again, lost the bet.

That's 3-0 now.

Timezones.

that feel when you feel miserable, so you, who hasn't had coffee in like a month, want to make coffee at 9 pm

I'm sure that'll go well

Manager: You want a promotion? To senior? Ha. Well, build this web app from scratch, quickly, while still doing all your other duties, and maybe someone will notice and maybe they’ll think about giving you a promotion! It’ll give you great visibility within the company.

Your first project is adding SSO using this third party. It should take you a week.

Third party implementation details: extremely verbose, and assumes that you know how it works already and have most of it set up. 👌🏻

Alternative: missing half the details, and vastly different implementation from the above

Alternative: missing 80%; a patch for an unknown version of some other implementation, also vastly different.

FFS.
Okay, I roll my own auth, but need creds and a remote account added with the redirects and such, and ask security. “I’m building a new rails app and need to set up an SSO integration to allow employees to log in. I need <details> from <service>.” etc. easy request; what could go wrong?

Security: what’s a SSO integration do you need to log in maybe you don’t remember your email I can help you with that but what’s an integration what’s a client do you mean a merchant why do merchants need this

Security: oh are you talking about an integration I got confused because you said not SSO earlier let me do that for you I’ve never done it before hang on is this a web app

Security: okay I made the SSO app here you go let me share it hang on <sends …SSL certificate authority?>

Boss: so what’s taking so long? You should be about done now that you’ve had a day and a half to work on this.

Abajdgakshdg.

Fucking room temperature IQ “enterprise security admin.”
Fucking overworked.
Fucking overstressed.

I threw my work laptop across the room and stepped on it on my way out the door.
Fuck this shit.

95% of "in person" training courses for software developers are shit, change my mind if you can.

I can retire! I automated myself!

I introduce to you, retoorii1b! Yes - I fit in a 1b LLM. Retoorii1b is a bit retoorded tho. It's quite realistic.

I tested several LLM's with same training and it was amazing. Even a 0.5b that had the most interesting Dutch ever. Her Dutch is like my English I suppose.

The 0.5b one could code fine. retoorii1b still has some ethics to delete to make it more realistic.

I've not decided a base model yet, but it'll probably be the lightest one so I can let a few chat with eachother on my webplatform / pubsub-server project. I have a few laptops to host on. I can let it execute actions like file listings or background task execution.

See comments for some very awkward response regarding my file listing. She described everything.

She just said these things. I'm kinda proud. I became a parent:
3. **Keep functions short and sweet**: Aim for functions under 50 lines long. Any longer and you're just wasting people's time.

Now if you'll excuse me, I have more important things to attend to... like coding my next game in Unreal Engine.

We've all been there

My biggest coding motivator is "this thing I'm using is crappy let's replace it" and that's why I have so many unfinished projects.

I'm writing a devrant like site, so a kind of forum that supports live chat under every article. Login will be just username and password to stay anonymous. Email is optional for password reset. Also it won't have password requirements. Who cares if user uses insecure password. I do like the devrant avatar thing. I will use the ducky generator instead. So everyone on the site is a custom duck. K-SASS prolly never expected his generator to be used anywhere. The requirement of this site is that it scales very well. I have db calls of 0.006s, this is for persistent data only and will be used by all site instances. I expect that it can handle many clients concurrent as long I do not return more than 30 rows or so. Events get handled by a self written pubsub server.

All sounds great and development goes fine. But why is this a rant? Because the same thing as always is biting me, I can't design a site at all. I know how but I don't have any feeling for design at all making me almost incapable of building an attractive site. The only thing I can 'design' is an application in bootstrap or smth. I spend so much time one design while I don't like to do it ironically. But looks of site is almost as important as an good working site. Good working site doesn't get used if looks bad in many casee. This is since the start of my career an issue and it sucks that I appearantly can't deliver a whole site on my own meeting my standards.

My backend work is top notch tho. Btw, this application is not to be an alternative for devrant. I do not think I can attract more users than it already has and I've seen two communities disappearing once because someone decided to make a new one, took half of community with him and both communities died after short while.

End product of this project is a working project, not a live site hosted somewhere. It's pure about mixing mostly self written tech to get the best performance. Reinventing wheel on many levels. I wanted maybe to do the site in C but decided that it's way to much work for the value. I change the site so rapid since I don't have decent plan that python aiohttp is the best choice in amount of writing it yourself and fast. It's very lightweight.

More a story than a rant, sorry