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A guy and a girl are in a Java seminar.
Afterward, the guy approaches the girl and asks, "Hey gurrl, can I get your number?"
Girl says "Sorry, I don't give out my number, it's private."
Guy says, "Oh I'm sorry, I thought we were in the same class!"17 -
Boys use the word FRIENDSHIP to strart the relationship...
Girl use the word FRIENDSHIP to end the relationship...
Real example of Polymorphism...😜😜😜1 -
Toilets and race conditions!
A co-worker asked me what issues multi-threading and shared memory can have. So I explained him that stuff with the lock. He wasn't quite sure whether he got it.
Me: imagine you go to the toilet. You check whether there's enough toilet paper in the stall, and it is. BUT now someone else comes in, does business and uses up all paper. CPUs can do shit very fast, can't they? Yeah and now you're sitting on the bowl, and BAMM out of paper. This wouldn't have happened if you had locked the stall, right?
Him: yeah. And with a single thread?
Me: well if you're alone at home in your appartment, there's no reason to lock the door because there's nobody to interfere.
Him: ah, I see. And if I have two threads, but no shared memory, then it is as if my wife and me are at home with each a toilet of our own, then we don't need to lock either.
Me: exactly!13 -
When I finished my studies, I was looking for a job and had an interview at a smallish company.
Boss: can you do C?
Me: yes, I have already done some stuff in C.
Boss: I mean, are you really good in C?
Me, growing suspicious: well yes I already have been using it - but anyway, there's also the project documentation for looking up, right?
Boss: uhm, the code IS the documentation.
I envisioned myself being drowned in undocumented spaghetti code and wasn't really keen on that job anymore, but my following question pretty much ended the interview:
Me: oh, I see. Do you have any roadmap for getting your development to a more professional base?
His looks, priceless! He was just shocked when he realised that he had failed my interview, and that I was a fresher made it even harder to digest for him.31 -
Last year, my company sent me to India to coordinate stuff.
Me, to my wife: "They've chosen me because they trust my social skills."
Her: "OMG, what is the rest of the company like?!"
LOL.. :-)3 -
She: "I am not getting anything out of these classes!!"
Me: "Try making some Objects first"
*Awkward silence*9 -
Math: the imaginary unit is i.
Electrical engineering: no, it's j.
C hacker: hands off my loop variables!14 -
So I have implemented all the features required for the current release. Carefully reviewed my code several times, but no testing.
Tester: everything passed green. Not sure whether you're a good dev or I'm a bad tester.
Me: let's call it a draw.11 -
Me, in the zone, staring at the code. Co-worker enters.
Co: hey, can you...
Me (not really listening): no.
Co: it's just...
Me: no.
Co: later?
Me: no.
Co: but...
Me: no.
Co: (leaving)14 -
Object oriented thinking.
A boy tries to look at girl in a class.
Girl : It's bad manners.
Boy : No it's not. "MEMBERS OF THE SAME CLASS CAN ACCESS PRIVATE DATA".12 -
when your teacher says he prefers this:
class A
{
// code
};
over this:
class A {
// code
};
me: can u not25 -
Trying to concentrate. Co-worker from another room standing there, BLA BLA BLA, and she's fucking LOUD. But she hates coldness, and it's below 0 °C outside.
So I open two windows, and guess who instantly leaves! Now it's cold, but SILENT. HAR HAR!6 -
Functional Programming literally has 'fun' in the title; OOP is one letter away from 💩. I rest my case.5
-
Fuck those useless calls!
PM: customer X wants a call in an hour.
Me: they didn't send emails before. No questions, no prep, no call.
PM: yeah but they want to talk.
Me: these unprepared calls are pointless. I'll be sitting there, noting down the questions and telling them I'll have to look up the details.
PM: shall I tell them that you don't want to talk to them?
Me: I don't care, it's your call, do whatever you want.
PM: that's not professional.
Me: oh you're calling it professional to sit there with a pencil, writing down crap or what?
PM: what's the problem?!
Me: I've had this shit for the last two fucking calls, and they were so unprepared that they wasted half of the call just reading up, and I'm fed up with this shit!
PM: but they are the customers, and they aren't that happy.
Me: yeah, and do you know why? Because our schedule is completely fucked up and our management has been ignoring ANY warning from engineering for WEEKS! That's why they are unhappy and not because I'm not holding their fucking hands!
PM: hey, but you can't tell me what I have to do!
Me: and you can't tell me either! [he's my PM, but technically not my superior.]
PM: so no call or what?
Me: you're free to have your call. I'll sort out the shit that they're concerned about, putting that down in a proper email, and then we have at least some basis for discussion!
PM: (left for his call)
Btw., my cursing was the same in the live conversation with him.9 -
So I hear Christmas is coming, right? Here's a christmas tree for you!
P.S. this is the real thing. It's a Java project we have to work with... For Christ's sake! The guy who wrote this has recently left the company and handed this code to us as his legacy.
fuck.
17 -
first day of new junior.
me : tell me what you know about inheritance
junior : don't look at me, we're very poor, if my parent's die i wont get a single dime
me(in my head) : this is gonna be fun.4 -
The best prank I ever pulled was on one of my IT teachers.
In 2011, I had an intense OOP JS training and whil ...[read more]12 -
Code review, here the simplified version. What the fuck has to be wrong with someone who seriously codes the first variant in production code?!
19 -
Friday, I got a mail from my PM shortly before I wanted to leave. Basically it was, hey can you check out whether this issue [which I hadn't even heard about] is somehow related to our system? Meeting is in one hour.
My answer: I guess not, otherwise I'd have been in the loop much earlier than one hour before the meeting.
I shut down the PC like a boss and went into weekend.10 -
Stupid shitheads among the web designers, fucking listen up. Your fucking design is not the point of websites - the content is. You are not supposed to shove the content away to have your moron design shine in its purest debility.
Yeah I know, white space minimalism yadda yadda, clean interface - and you dumbasses just remove functionality to simulate a clean interface, to the point of using hamburger fuckups on desktop. Pull your heads out of your asses, that's not how to design an interface! Not to mention that you idiots still guzzle through the megabytes and dozens of domain lookups for your chickenshit minimalism.
While we're at it, not everyone is 20 years old like you youngsters - you won't believe it, but there is life beyond 40, and while such age is unthinkable to you because you are so dumb that you will hardly reach that age anyway, others on this planet have managed to get there. No 20/20 laser sight, you know.
Fuck you with your light grey thin fonts on white background because it looks "clean", it just SUCKS you wankers. Fuck you with your stupid ghost buttons that don't even look like a button. You know how to operate the shit you made, but reality check here, users spend most of their time on fucking other websites than on the abomination you have designed!
Get that into the shit bubble that you call your brain and read WCAG 2.1! That's not only for disabled people, but everyone will be able to use that shit better!6 -
Office prank time! It was some years ago when the horror movie "The Grudge" came out, with that creepy Japanese dead girl who made that horrible "aaahhhhhh" sound. A coworker, who was just as shocked by the movie as I was, would occasionally send me emails with sceenshots from that movie.
One day, I upped it. I knew he was the first in the office in the morning, so I arrived even before him. It was still dark. I put a walkie-talkie under his desk, set it to "no beep", switched off the lights again and hid two rooms away.
Sure enough, he arrived. I waited for about 10 minutes to be sure he was sitting at his desk. Then I used my walkie-talkie and "aahhhhh".
WOAH, his scream was loud even two rooms away!3 -
Have you always been missing ads in CLI applications? Have you been wondering how to bring such modern browsing experience to CLI? NPM has solved this problem, it has CLI ads now!
https://github.com/standard/...
However, the are already people who spoil this great new experience with CLI ad blockers:
https://github.com/kethinov/...27 -
How do you make a job offer so that only real 1337 haxx0rs will apply? Well https://automattic.com/ has found a way I guess.
6 -
Holy shit, I'm really impressed with the high tech park my dentist has. She takes pictures of a tooth, a computer makes a 3D model out of that, then she grinds down the tooth as necessary and takes pictures again.
From the difference, the computer generates the data for the tooth crown, including warning spots where it could be too thin so that a bit more grinding is needed.
Then she corrects some spots manually and sends it over to the CNC machine in the next room that cuts the thing from a ceramics block with correct colour. Some heat treatment later, and the tooth crown fits perfectly.
Gone are the days with dental imprints, provisional crown and not quite fitting final crown.2 -
Don't get me wrong, I like funcional programming, but this smug „This would neeever happen with FP“ bullshit really gets on my nerve and kind of turns me off the idea of ever wanting to work with FP programmers.
It's just another paradigm, it's still possible to write unmaintainable fuckugly crapcode with functional programming.
And it is still very possible to write beautiful, clean, well maintainable code with OOP. Get over yourselves and understand that it's a tool and not a religion, and a good dev should know when to pick which tool for which job without childish notions of intellectual superiority.5 -
Damn, credit cards are so fucking secure these days that you hardly can BUY shit with them!
I need some special electronics that I only can get from a vendor in the US, which is overseas. Click click, buy, done. Well no, credit card refused. WTF? Click retry link. No, still refused. FUCK.
Called up the 24/7 hotline of my CC company. Oh yeah, that got blocked by the security system, somehow. We disable that for 20 minutes, just retry. Clicked retry link at the vendor. No failure mail. Hmmm, too good to be true?! Called up the electronics vendor. Yeah should work, stuff is in the warehouse stage. 40 minutes later: credit card declined. FUCK.
Called up the CC company again. Ok, disable blocker for one hour. Nice advice from them, tell the vendor it's only 45 minutes so that there's some buffer. Clicked retry link at the vendor and called them up to make sure that they retry before the time runs out.
LO AND BEHOLD, I could finally pay the shit!!8 -
Fuck you idiots at medium.com for your sheer impudence. Not only that you track me, which I havn't agreed to, you think it's a good idea to nag around and gather even more data!
You stinking farts label your stalking as "let's make things official"! Who shit in your head?
I've seen other places way more often, and guess what, no coffee bar has ever had the idea to ask for my ID card just because I bought my second or third coffee there.
But just because it's the internet you think it's OK to be intrusive wankers, yeah?! Fuck off.
4 -
Me at QA, talking about a nasty bug I found in legacy code.
QA: what was the root cause?
Me: pos code.
QA: pos?!
Me: piece o' shit.
QA: ...1 -
I'm doing code review. Unsure about the deadline, I ask my co-worker:
Me: "Guess I'm half through, when do I have to be done?"
Co-worker: "Well if you're half through, you are already half done."
Me: "No shit, Sherlock."
LOL -
Me when I started learning C++: "C++ is fun"
2 days later: "C++ makes me want to sit in a corner and cry."16 -
Apple you drove of delusional suckers! When will your retarded fashion devices finally support WEBP?!
A gallery page with images, and thanks to WEBP, it's 408 kB. Because Google made WEBP and handed out a well documented CLI FOSS compression tool that even can convert the source PNGs to lossy WEBP with bloody transparency. Well done, Google!
Except that Apple's shitty management can't take it that Google actually made something nice, so no WEBP. Instead, JPEG-2000 that enjoys nearly no fucking tool support. The free tools that even can deal with that mostly don't support transparency, and the encoder sucks donkeys so that JPEG still fucks JPEG-2000 big time.
So it's JPEG with matching background for iOS. Fine, but since JPEG's blocky artifacts are much more visible, the compression can't be that high, and it's 769 kB. That's 88% more image data for Shittari than for non-retarded browsers and even Edge! EDGE!!
Oh and if the user changes light/dark system mode according to surrounding light conditions, guess what happens? Yep, since JPEG doesn't support transparency, now it's different JPEGs with dark background via the media query in the "picture" element, and it's another 754 kB download. Bloody 1523 kB instead of 408 kB, that's a factor of 3.7!
Fuck your ass Crapple, with an electric eel!19 -
//socially acceptable objectification
//of women
public class Woman : Person
{
}
//I'll see myself out.15 -
My CTO in the 'good old times', when he still talked to me and shared his wisdom, once told me what I should know about oop and explained me the world of programming and what really matters:
CTO about oop and C#:
"I think this object orientated stuff is overrated and useless. You don't get finished. I write everything in one file. You should do that too. The fastest way is always the best one."
So, dear readers, you might think, he maybe understood, what oop means. I have to disappoint you. He is as FUCKING STUPID as he sounds.
He didn't understand the whole concept of the language C# or oop.
He doesn't use properties, every single method is static void and there is nothing like an object.
Since there is more from where that came from, this will be continued...7 -
On an afternoon the day before delivery, we discovered a crashing bug. At around 2 AM, we had found the cause and fixed it. A short sleep at home, then back to office at 8 AM because the delivery was 200 devices containing that software, and they had to be updated manually because production had put in the old image.
We seized all available computers, even those from marketing who were... surprised. Half-way in the update, we calculated that we wouldn't have enough time until the freight service would show up.
So we asked the secretary that she should be a bit flirty to the parcel guy, invite him to a coffee and chat around to buy us more time. We closed the last parcel just when he figured that he had to continue with his tour.6 -
Ah well, it's double out of fashion because smoking is on the black list of the health maniacs, and nobody smokes pipes anyway. BUT! filling a pipe and smoking it for easily half an hour is quite some pleasure!
74 -
Hey guys,
!rant but just wanting some feedback.
As some of you may know, I'm a n00b which has found himself in a senior position at a startup. Now, when I say n00b, I mean I have been self-learning for a little over two years now and I've been doing this job for 1. Anyway, back to the point.
I have to interview and hire people. I already find this quite hard but funding an adequate test for their abilities seems even harder given I'm no wunderkind. I came up with one though:
"Define as much of a city as you can using OOP principles. You have half an hour."
Is that reasonable? I thought it was interesting in that a city is a great example of a large, complex system made up of what are essentially objects.
Any critiques, thoughts, improvements or insults?
(Image is my reaction when opening the app because I secretly love you all and I don't feel at home anywhere else...)
33 -
You want to land a job as PHP developer? About to go to an interview?
There are two ways:
1. Be able to explain the difference between an interface and an abstract class and their purposes. (I shit you not.)
2. If you aren't able to, then simply state you don't know and are eager to learn.
(The second approach might not work if you claimed to know object oriented programming "very well" before though.)
Yet I am astounded in how many interviews people were either playing smart and just rambled on not wanting to lose face. During the remote calls of some special candidates I could even hear them typing on their keyboards in the background googling the answers to my questions.
And the irony is that I thereby had to veto their appliance. As they had lost my trust in being able to communicate honestly. And for wasting my time.
Our domain is complicated and ever-changing and not knowing certain parts of software development is *normal*.
Yet don't just try to fake it in order to land a job. It won't work, and when it does you may find yourself literally in the company of like-minded individuals.24 -
last semester i was working as assistant professor teaching Basic OOP Subject. and my girl happens to be enlisted as my student. One day she was late for my class and get in without a permission. so i ask her
Me : Why don't you knock the door?
Her : Why should i ?
Me : did i give you my permission ?
Her : Public class doesn't need permission. our class is not Private.
oh my god i'm so in love with her2 -
Interesting bug hunt!
Got called in because a co-team had a strange bug and couldn't make sense of it. After a compiler update, things had stopped working.
They had already hunted down the bug to something equivalent to the screenshot and put a breakpoint on the if-statement. The memory window showed the memory content, and it was indeed 42. However, the debugger would still jump over do_stuff(), both in single step and when setting a breakpoint on the function call. Very unusual, but the rest worked.
Looking closer, I noticed that the pointer's content was an odd number, but was supposed to be of type uint32_t *. So I dug out the controller's manual and looked up the instruction set what it would do with a 32 bit load from an unaligned address: the most braindead thing possible, it would just ignore the lowest two address bits. So the actual load happened from a different address, that's why the comparison failed.
I think the debugger fetched the memory content bytewise because that would work for any kind of data structure with only one code path, that's how it bypassed the alignment issue. Nice pitfall!
Investigating further why the pointer was off, it turned out that it pointed into an underlying array of type char. The offset into the array was correctly divisible by 4, but the beginning had no alignment, and a char array doesn't need one. I checked the mapfiles and indeed, the old compiler had put the array to a 4 byte boundary and the new one didn't.
Sure enough, after giving the array a 4 byte alignment directive, the code worked as intended.
9 -
The sad thing is no matter what we do we are all a variation of homer 😂🤣
Borrowed from https://medium.com/@cscalfani/...
1 -
This morning in the office:
- bumblebee grounded
- diagnosed low fuel level
- refueled bumblebee with sugar water
- system check pass, airworthiness restored
- bumblebee asked tower for take-off
- tower opened flight window
- super-clean take-off
- bumblebee left control area
:-)4 -
Anyone remember when PHP was a straightforward procedural language and not a pseudo-objective mess?
#saturdaynostalgia9 -
Functional Programming literally has 'fun' in the title; OOP is one letter away from 💩. I rest my case.4
-
Spent 2-3 weeks on implementing a new feature, a guy with 10 years of experience jumps in and solves it within 5 days.
*Oh! I forgot to mention, it was his first time working with the framework.
I must say his OOP skills are really good, not sure if this is something you learn by reading books or simply by practice.
I strongly believe that if you have a good understanding of how to build apps with OOP pattern, you'll do a great job in the SW industry.6 -
"I'm almost done, I'll just need to add tests!"
Booom! You did it, that was a nuke going off in my head.
No, you shouldn't just need to add tests. The tests should have been written from the get go! You most likely won't cover all the cases. You won't know if adding the tests will break your feature, as you had none, as you refactor your untested mess in order to make your code testable.
When reading your mess of a test case and the painful mocking process you went through, I silently cry out into the void: "Why oh why!? All of this suffering could have been avoided!"
Since most of the time, your mocking pain boils down to not understanding what your "unit" in your "unit test" should be.
So let it be said:
- If you want to build a parser for an XML file, then just write a function / class whose *only* purpose is: parse the XML file, return a value object. That's it. Nothing more, nothing less.
- If you want to build a parser for an XML file, it MUST NOT: download a zip, extract that zip, merge all those files to one big file, parse that big file, talk to some other random APIs as a side-effect, and then return a value object.
Because then you suddenly have to mock away a http service and deal with zip files in your test cases.
The http util of your programming language will most likely work. Your unzip library will most likely work. So just assume it working. There are valid use cases where you want to make sure you acutally send a request and get a response, yet I am talking unit test here only.
In the scope of a class, keep the public methods to a reasonable minimum. As for each public method you shall at least create one test case. If you ever have the feeling "I want to test that private method" replace that statement in your head with: "I should extract that functionality to a new class where that method public. I then can create a unit test case a for that." That new service then becomes a dependency in your current service. Problem solved.
Also, mocking away dependencies should a simple process. If your mocking process fills half the screen, your test setup is overly complicated and your class is doing too much.
That's why I currently dig functional programming so much. When you build pure functions without side effects, unit tests are easy to write. Yet you can apply pure functions to OOP as well (to a degree). Embrace immutability.
Sidenote:
It's really not helpful that a lot of developers don't understand the difference between unit, functional acceptance, integration testing. Then they wonder why they can't test something easily, write overly complex test cases, until someone points out to them: No, in the scope of unit tests, we don't need to test our persistance layer. We just assume that it works. We should only test our businsess logic. You know: "Assuming that I get that response from the database, I expect that to happen." You don't need a test db, make a real query against that, in order to test that. (That still is a valid thing to do. Yet not in the scope of unit tests.)9 -
Funniest meeting ever!
Some years ago, there was the regular department meeting where useless news from upper management were handed down. The team I was in was also there: team lead, co-worker and me. The team lead had a new girl and was daydreaming of their nights, my co-worker wasn't quite back from the football match on the weekend, and I was playing chess on my mobile.
Department lead was blah blah blah and when can we do this on your rig? We looked at each other and instantly realised that none had been paying attention.
My co-worker was the fastest to recover and straight-facedly turned to me: "Well Fast-Nop, that's your domain."
I picked the ball up before team lead could say something: "Sure, but schedule appointment is for our lead."
Our lead couldn't contradict us and then had to negotiate a schedule while trying to find out what it was about. *LOL*2 -
In my master equivalent thesis, I was supposed to build upon a year of work from my predecessors. However, I argued that it had no actual foundation and would never work properly, so I threw it away and started from scratch.
The prof was astonished and commented "well it's your thesis", insinuating that the risk was on me. Turned out I had been right.2 -
Talk with a co-worker who has a bit of a motivational problem.
Him: if I had more fun, I would be more productive.
Me: you're not here for fun, that's why they pay us.
Him: how are you motivated?
Me: by money.
...
A bit later.
Him: do you plan for retirement some day?
Me: no. By then, there won't be retirement anymore. We will eat fried rats in the street.
He starts understanding why I'm wearing black metal shirts.10 -
Every time someone compares Golang to Rust an angel falls, a unicorn dies and a Java developer writes another class.
Please stop doing that.10 -
When I got to learn about json yesterday I hate it cause I need to do extra work to MVC project. But after today the instructor told us what it does, and I love it. Gonna start learning this stuff more tomorrow1
-
The seventh fishcake.
Usually, I buy six fishcakes in the weekly shopping. Today, the seller accidentally put on seven, wanted to put back the seventh, but it fell into the egg salad. She took the fishcake and was about to throw it away because no customer would buy a fish cake with egg salad sauce on it. I intervened in time and bought it to avoid throwing food away.
Afterwards, I thought about how sick and decadent it actually is that it would have been perfectly normal to throw food away just because food was sticking on the food.13 -
Just been browsing Awwwards about websites: https://www.awwwards.com/websites/
All of that is unusable crap and achieves "clean" design mostly by not having functionality. The trick seems to be a useless fat image and tucking away functionality as small as possible. This is design wankery.6 -
Fuck inheritance.
Looking for variables and methods in inheritance chain is like walking in Thailand and looking for a girl hooker on a street full of ladyboys.
You can find one but you never know.9 -
So I've kicked off the motorcycle season for this year! Scanned some nice roads for speed control traps or road dirt, then the same route with more WABROOOOOO.
That machine is whopping 19 years old, and I still like it as much as on the first day when I bought it as new. Plus that it doesn't have software nonsense, not even injection. Means, it fucking works.
9 -
So I'm just wondering if this happened to everyone else because a few friends of mine at work have corroborated my experience.
So, when I was very young and just starting to learn PHP, I was trying to grasp OOP. I read and read about it and did the example tutorials and nothing really did it for me. Then one day, writing some scripts for a game I played, it just hit me. Literally like "oh.....I get it. That's why this is a thing."2 -
Not CS degree, but EE, and totally worth the effort. Not only that without degree, I wouldn't get jobs in many companies, but I actually learnt a lot. Laplace and Fourier will be as valid in a 100 years as they were 200 years ago.
Yeah, it was fucking hard. Math was rather OK, only 50% of the students failed the first exam. EE was harder, 90% failed at the first try. That wasn't regarded as problem - on the contrary, the exams were designed to weed out. After two semesters, we already had 50% student loss.
I remember what the EE prof told us in the first semester: we would learn a lot of things, but most importantly, to think like an engineer. Didn't make sense right away, but 5 years later, I knew what he had been talking about.3 -
Bit rot under scientific research: using a very high-end microscope, I was able to take a picture of bit rot in action. It's microtrolls eating the bits!
2 -
*uses java and c# for a few months without touching GML or my custom script language*
*Jumps back in after said few months*
Oh god I miss OOP, please give it back!9 -
It feels like you are talking to yourself while commits when you create a github repo and you are the only contributor. :p2
-
So there is a WP plugin for GDPR conformity. True to form of the shitty WP plugin ecosystem, it has a major security hole that allows taking over the WP installation:
https://wordfence.com/blog/2018/...4 -
Code fuckup day or what?! After two weeks where I wasn't on my project and a co-worker handled it, I came back to my project and reviewed what he had done so far.
Me: "I don't understand how this new code part here can work?"
Him: "Uhm, actually, it doesn't, somehow."
Me: "..."
Then he had checked in his stuff with spaces while the whole project is with tabs. And variables that were used in a different way, but still under the old name, now completely misleading. Bypassing existing infrastructure and defines with "just for this case" hacks. But the best was tracking higher level state by peeking into lower level data buffers, even pulling out their data definitions into global header files - instead of using proper states in the higher layer itself.
NOT! IN! MY! FUCKING! PROJECT!!!
So I spent the day cleaning up the shit to fight off software rot right in the beginning.4 -
My wife was done with exercises on her electronic 88 keys piano.
Me: I also know something nice.
Her: oh so?
Me: (repeatedly typing key #3)
Her: (thinking)
Her: C hacking?!5 -
OOP seems in many cases really to be OOOP:
Obscured Object Oriented Programming: or, how to code in such a way as to make things as cryptic as possible for others to decipher. Examples:
- Methods not taking args because the desired arg is actually a property of the class, set with a "setter" by another class
- Protected/private status for vars and methods to block other devs from using the class how they wish, and only the way the creator wants
- Initializing a var as null, conditionally setting to the desired value, then littering the codebase with null checks and "isset" and wondering why there are so many bugs
- Have varying implementations of getters and setters so as to be totally unpredictable, where setters' implementations range from a basic "store x" to 700 lines of logic and db lookups, and the same for getters
- Break general implementations of things by creating references to commonly used objects, then doing operations on those references, making it impossible to text search all implementations of a method/class
If you aren't using at least these 5 antipatterns, you're not doing OOP right.10 -
So I'm writing some multithreaded shit in C that is supposed to work cross-platform. MingW has Posix threads for Windows, so that saved already half of the platform dependency. The other half was that these threads need to run external programs.
Well, there's system(), right? Uhm yes, but it sucks. It's incredibly slow on Windows, and it looks like you can have only one system() call ongoing at the same time. Which kinda defeats the multithreaded driver. Ok, but there's CreateProcessA(), and that doesn't suck.
Fine, now for Linux. The fork/exec hack is quite ugly, but it works and is even fast. Just never use fork() without immediate exec(). First try under Cygwin... crap I fork bombed my system! What is this shit? Ah I fucked up the path names so that the external executable couldn't be run.
Lesson learnt: put an exit() right after the exec() in the path for child process. Should never be reached, but if it goes there, the exit() at least prevents a fork bomb.
Well yeah, sort of works under Cygwin, but only with up to 3 threads. Beyond that, it seems like fork() at some point gives two processes the same PID, and then shit hangs.
Even slapping a mutex around the fork and releasing it only in the parent process didn't help. Fork in Cygwin is like a fork in the ass. posix_spawn() should work better because it can be mapped more easily to the Windows model, but still no dice.
OK, testing under real Linux. Yeah, no issues with that one! But instead, I get some obscure "free(): invalid size" abort. What the fuck would that even mean?! Checking my free() calls: all fine.
Time to fire up GDB in the terminal! Put a catch on the abort signal, mh got just hex data. Shit I forgot to compile with -O0 and -g. Next try. Backtrace shows the full call trace, back to the originating line in my program - which is fclose() on a file.
Ahhh I remember! Under Linux, fclosing a file that is already closed makes the program crash. So probably I was closing it twice. Checking back.. yeah that's where it was.
Shit runs fast on several cores now!9 -
*LOL* The animal rights organisation PETA criticises the use of donkeys in the traditional Passion play in Oberammergau, Bavaria, Germany. PETA claims that Jesus would ride into Jerusalem on an e-scooter.
https://dw.com/en/...10 -
Technical phone screens be like, "we see you have years of OOP experience, but can you tell us about the differences between an interface and an abstract class?"
Yes. Yes I can. Can you tell me why you're asking such basic questions? Is this something people actually don't know this late in the game?7 -
Shaving with an old-style safety razor just rocks - that metal thing consisting of three pieces where a slotted, double edged razor blade fits in. With the good Russian Astra Platinum blades at 10 cent per piece where a hundred piece pack lasts for years. The whole thing can be fully dismantled and cleaned.
I can't understand why people use this modern overpriced Gillette shit at 2 EUR per piece that you can't even clean, with debris stuck in-between that starts to rot if you use the blade block more than once. Must be brainwashing by ads. Even worse for women who pay 50% extra for the pink version of that unhygienic shit.
Oh, and real shaving soap with a real shaving brush and not the canned aerosol garbage that doesn't really work anyway.8 -
Meeting with a co-worker who is supposed to do a code analysis on a large legacy project. Actually, HER project - she inherited it already years ago, and the original devs aren't in the company anymore.
Her: customer is asking this and that analysis.
Me: easily two weeks.
Her: but who will do that?
Me: you of course.
Her: but I don't know most of the code.
Me: me neither.
Her: and I don't know the protocols.
Me: google them. I'd have to do the same.
Really, I told her to google shit, which I consider as quite a slap for a co-worker. Basically, she tried to offload a complex analysis because she just wants the low effort parts of the job.
Won't happen. DO YOUR FUCKING JOB!14 -
I have a rule made by myself. I call it "550 line".
If a class have more than 500 or a method more than 50 line, something is wrong.
(Is there any better rule? Tell if there is some)7 -
My setup: AMD Phenom-2 1100T with fat cooler for silent PC, 16 GB ECC RAM, AMD Radeon HD-6850 passively cooled, WD Blue 1 TB HDD. One 22 inch monitor with 1650 x 1050.
The mouse is a bit broken because the click switch under the mouse wheel doesn't work anymore. The empty bottle in front of the PC is necessary for lying on the room light switch, or else it won't work. And the black/yellow tape is a fix for the worn out seat cover.
But the best, under the monitor, is the little green troll that serves as rubber duck.
-
dev "no no no, you're overengineering it. You just need one class for that"
Me "but ... Those are different object that share a common interface. The internal logic is not the same, only their output is. You know ... That's the purpose of interfaces"
Him "no no, as i said, you don't need that. Listen, you can put ALL the fields and methods in a single class and then you can use a switch with different cases .."1 -
NOT saving the world in 2019. I already did that in 2012 when the Maya calendar ended and wasn't being thanked - on the contrary, people said "haha look, nothing happened".3
-
I came around the corner in the corridor where a senior PM talked with an engineer.
PM: ... and that's why a good team is so important and we also need sensitive people.
Me: do we have some here?
PM: oh yes, I'm highly sensitive.
Me: one learns something new every day. :-)1 -
LOL that's why I love C!
The function pointer cast for strcmp because qsort expects a compare function with two const void * pointers instead of two const char * pointers, that's just beautiful.
Not to mention the hack to abuse strcmp on a struct - which just works because the first struct member is a string and the rest just gets swapped with memcpy as opaque data.
I guess that wouldn't pass a code review at work. :-)
9 -
Best OOP class ever 😆
"Now you can access your classmates' public data, you know their classes' parts. But you can't touch their private parts (5sec pause) ...of their class. However if you're related, it's okay for you to play with eachothers parts... as long as they're protected. "4 -
I was fixing an issue where I have encountered a Java class written by a recently hired senior developer with 1K+ lines of code.
Inside that class....
One Method => 1K lines🙄🙄
I don't know where to bang my head now😐😐6 -
Yeaaahhh that moment when the program flawlessly crunches through ten thousands of files, only limited by the slowish HDD! :-)
In full multi-threading, tons of dynamic buffer resizing, pointer shit left and right, also two star programming, and everything written in raw C!14 -
We are a web developer team of 4 people. The system we manage is huge because it's a huge organization.
We use php.
Requirements grow rapidly and debugging became a nightmare. So we decided to move from procedural to OOP to ease it a bit.
And we have this one guy in our team (joined recently) who doesn't understand the benefits of following OOP. He is the one who manages most side projects among us too.
We have tried hard to convince him and now we have almost given up.
So I am asking you guys, please give me some ideas of how we could convince him to learn and follow OOP.7 -
SPDX. Actually a cool idea, you slap one line of comment in your source files that gives the licence. Easy to understand at a glance, and grep friendly. Also no more "huh what exactly does this licence here say, is that MIT, BSD with or without shit or what".
But once you have something simple, you can bet some design committee tries to "improve" it and cover everything imaginable.
The result looks like this (see also screenshot): https://wiki.spdx.org/view/...
Holy shit. What was that about? Simplifying crap? Yeah sure that's totally what it looks like.
3 -
Any tips on nailing OOP design interview questions? This is a black hole, weak area for me, and I get absolutely no feedback on what I'm doing wrong.
I feel like most of it is because I *nothing* about what I'm asked to design.
And yes, I ask clarifying questions, list out use cases and constraints, identify nouns/verbs and map them to objects/methods - but these don't help with the overall *design* when you can't even grasp what the components are, nor which parts need extensibility.
Imagine you've *never* been inside a car, let alone even understand there's components to a car (you don't even know that cars have engines, or that they take fuel). Now imagine you're asked to design a car. It's just, silly.
14 -
Oldie but goldie.. after my studies, I was looking for my first job and did interviews. In one of the companies, they asked me whether I knew C. Well yes, I had been programming in C. Ah no, that wasn't enough - they asked whether I was really good in C. I got suspicious and argued that there was the project documentation anyway, right? Turned out, no. The code was the documentation, as I had suspected.
Then my question - as freshman, mind you: "Do you have any plans to get to a more professional way of developing?"
The interview was pretty much over at that point, the boss got actually angry. Well, interviews work both ways, and he had failed. I surely dodged a bullet.2 -
Fuck you Mozilla. You have killed the major unique selling point of FF, that being the add-ons, and replaced them with web extensions that will never even come close. Not enough with that, now you're killing the add-on servers to also kick FF forks into their balls. You stupid bunch of wankers have a history of pretending to know better what your users want, and your plummeting market share shows how much you suck at it.
https://blog.mozilla.org/addons/...19 -
Office Ninja!
Today, my PM dropped by in the morning and mentioned she had some customer feedback on some item in a project where I'm the holiday replacement for someone else. I already had work to do, so that kind of interruption wasn't welcome.
"Well yeah, just forward it to me, I'll see what I can do", I told her. She agreed. Half an hour later, still no email from her. Hey, that looked promising!
For the rest of the day, I didn't talk to her, avoided speaking at all when she was near and even sneaked by her room (open doors) in silent mode lest I drew her attention and she might have remembered the email.
Until afternoon when I went home, still no email. Success! :-)5 -
Every time I come back to Java:
"Oh man OOP is fun"
A few days later...
"This stupidly verbose, hand-holding garbage."4 -
As I was refactoring a class in a TypeScript project, I changed calls from `this.config` to `this.getConfig()`.
Suddenly, the tests were failing as somehow the live credentials were used from within the test.
Digging deeper I discovered this.
interface Base {
public config;
public getConfig();
}
So far so good. Wondering why config needs to be public, though nothing too shabby, let's look further:
class MyImpl implements Base {
constructor() {
this.config = this.getConfig()
}
getConfig = () => someGlobalVar;
}
┻━┻︵ \(°□°)/ ︵ ┻━┻
Why would you do this? This breaks dependency injection completely.
In the tests, we were of course doing:
testMe = new MyImpl();
testMe.config = testConfig;
So even though you have a getter, you cannot call it safely as the global var would take precedence. It's rather used as a setter within the constructor. WTF.
Sad part is that this pattern is kept throughout the entire codebase. So yeah for consistency!?
(And yes, I found a quick workaround by doing
getConfig = () => this.config || someGlobalVar;
though still, who in their right mind would do something like this?)1 -
PCs are a clusterfuck these days. Microsoft has abandoned the niceness of Win-7 and opted for Win-10 - with spyware, untested forced updates and forced online licence checks to make sure you have to get the shit. Macs are total crap, and Apple doesn't care because they instead prefer to milk customers with overpriced iShit. Linux sucks and looks like a Soviet tractor, but at least, it doesn't fuck up itself just by switching it on.
I had Linux as only OS from 2001 to 2010, and while I obviously can deal with it, I finally hated it enough to switch over to Win-7. From 2020 on, it looks like I will be back because Microsoft has managed to fuck up Windows even worse (and then these suckers wonder why Github users don't trust them). Maybe I'll buy a Tux when I install Linux so that I can punch it in the face.
Progress was yesterday - today it's about damage control. Welcome to a world where the brightest CS guys are thinking about how not only to shove up even more ads into peoples' asses, but how to also transmit lab data of the poo.7 -
Starting a new job tomorrow, old job was a software engineer working on mostly PHP with some mild Java stuff, tomorrow it is Java Spring Boot backend work. Should be an exciting change of pace2
-
Correcting basic programming exam, see this part of an answer:
---
for round in all_days:
if round+1 < round:
---
2 -
this is my legacy code, it's stupid, Change my mind.
a large number of lecturer and friends are against my thought. personally, i think this kind of code is told to be an OOP yet this is against the OOP concept. why ? first you assign the field to be private, but you implement Getter and Setter method later on, this is the same if you assign the field to be public in the first place.
another minor thing; yes this is old me, i use Bahasa Indonesia as a variable name.
31 -
Uh-oh I fucked up.
Not at work, but with my website where I had an email forwarder to an external address. The forwarding was everything so that I could do the spam filtering and occasional check in one place. Unfortunately, that triggered the spam detection at the external address (after some years!), and my provider ended up on a blacklist.
That got me a pretty angry mail from my hosting provider who had already disabled the forwarding and wanted to make sure that I understood the issue and would not put it in again.
I thought about whether they had fucked up because it was even possible to do that, or whether I had fucked up because I should have known. Hm yeah I opted for the latter and apologised.
The support guy seemed happy that I didn't try to argue (possibly like other customers...), and advised that I just should add another account in my email client. Sure, at least that will prevent this shit from happening again.
He also mentioned that every single blacklist issue they had experienced in this year was accidental due to external forwarding issues and that they would consider just disabling it altogether.
Which is probably a smart move, just as hint for these ranters here who work at hosting companies. Or at least only enable external forwarding if spam assassin or so is in place.3 -
Testing had some issues with system integration. I asked them what their setup was.
Answer: "Almost similar to the real hardware."
LMAO!2 -
I JUST SPENT A PAINFUL TWO HOURS TRYING TO FIND OUR WHY MY EXCEPTIONS WERE BEING THROWN AFTER EVERY SINGLE INPUT THE USER ENTERED...
I commented out the try catch, it worked, I commented out the throw and it worked, so I uncommented them both and it worked again? WHY DIDN'T IT WORK BEFORE Y U DO DIS2 -
Something that really bothers me about the oop idea of "oop allows better code reuse" is the fact that I have yet to encounter a situation where I need to reuse old code for a new project.
And the code I do want to reuse I've put into a library and made genetic anyway. Something which can easily be done with any language supporting generic programming, object oriented or otherwise.6 -
A server application pulled off some sort of listings as table. Problem was, it crashed with some thousand data files after one and a half hours. I looked into that, and couldn't stop WTFing.
A stupid server side script fetched the data in XML (WTF!) and then inserted shit node-wise (WTF!!), which was O(n^2) - in PHP and on XML! Then it converted the whole shebang into HTML for browser display although users would finally copy/paste the result into Excel anyway.
The original developer even had written a note on the application page that pulling the data "could take long". Yeah because it's so fucking STUPID that Clippy is an Einstein in comparison, that's why!
So I pulled the raw data via batch file without XML wrapping and wrote a little C program for merging the dumped stuff client-side in O(n), spitting out a final CSV for Excel import.
Instead of fucking the server for 1.5 hours and then crashing, shit is done after 7 seconds, out of which the actual data processing takes 40 bloody milliseconds!4 -
Why is fucking Chrome still not able to auto-hyphenate on Windows desktop?! Yeah I know the dictionaries, OS integration yadda yadda, BUT:
1) TeX did this 40 years ago, this is a solved problem in CS!
2) Firefox is a 3rd party application in Windows, just like Chrome, and can auto-hyphenate!2 -
Friday afternoon, the week's work is finished, and I'm ahead of schedule.
An email arrives for another project.. "URGENT yaddayadda". The dickheads where it came from have taken weeks to react, and now it's urgent. Yeah, fuck you assholes, ideally with a smoothing iron.
On the upside, I'm not addressed directly, and that project isn't my task. But boss could make it mine in no time, and I think he would.
I don't even open the email, nobody has seen it anyway yet, AND I GO HOME! :-)3 -
Holy Mother of casts.
Just stumbled across a line that started with (((((( because it has so many casts in it...
That's why you don't use instanceof kids.4 -
Stop. Using. Fucking. ADA. To. Teach. Basic. Programming.
I wouldn't say you should use a dynamically typed language like Python, but having programed since high school, I hated each and every aspect of Ada. We were even taught OOP and generics with it! (And not, you do not want to know how it is, because it is dreadful)9 -
I hate OOP so much, gods why do we have over 200 singletons in our code base? Why is everything a service and has like 4 or 5 layers of abstraction? Why is there no single simple function but a static class for everything? I mean I love me some classes here and there but this is bullshit. Why do I need to open 12 php files to see where a table column is rendered and when I find the method I forget where was the original entry point? I miss Django with its model-template-view architecture so much.15
-
MarSecOps: "Marketing Security Operations, the idea is that security is not just the realm of website developers or the IT department anymore, but rather the marketing department has an equal if not greater interest in, and even responsibility to security."
Source: https://strattic.com/5-predictions-...
WHAT THE FUCKING FUCK? The marketing dimwits responsible for security? Whose IT competence ends at Powerpoint drivel?!
I LOLed so hard that I could have shat a cactus!8 -
Today, I got some crap on my desk with possible bug reports from the field. They have been lingering somewhere for fucking MONTHS, and suddenly, an immediate answer was due. I was the unlucky one who was the least clueless about the product involved. SHIT.
OK, sifted through the reports. Some of them were duplicate, others obviously not our problem. No idea where to even start for the rest. FUCK, it's Friday!
But here comes "senior dev secret knowledge"(tm). Instead of saying WTF-IDK, I proposed an "action plan"(tm) (that BS term alone...) detailing the steps that we would need to take, and since I had no idea how long we would need, I just added enough steps in the "action plan"(tm) to make two weeks of investigation believable.
PM was very happy and just took that as direct customer reply. Now it's weekend anyway. :-) -
Just been watching some police soap on YT with "real police officers in action". Haha, yeah.
Huh, what's that outside, flashing blue light? Oh, a police car. No, two. Three. Actually, four. All of the guys rush into the neighbour house, WTF. Real police officers in action. -
When you ask a bunch of C programmers to make an application in Java you get a main function that is 1,125 lines long because who needs OOP anyways? amirite?1
-
Just to help out folks who find this week's group rant topic just as confusing as I did:
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/...1 -
What's wrong with Mozilla?!
Savvy webdevs use link preloading to break up dependency chains for late discovered resources, and users like the faster loading as result. Firefox 56 started supporting that two and a half years ago. Turned out they had screwed up and it didn't work with non-cacheable resources. So Mozilla "fixed" that by disabling the feature altogether behind some config flag.
And they left it at that - still not supported. They even had patches, but decided not to merge them and instead try something different, some day.
Is Firefox becoming the new IE or what?6 -
Got some new coffee, Trung Nguyên from Vietnam. Now that's some in-your-face coffee! Strong and interesting taste, slight cocoa aftertaste. Only recommended for hardcore devs.6
-
What a coincidence. JQuery gets an update to 3.4.0 - and I removed the JQuery dependency that a mid-sized widget (15 kB minified) needed.
Rewriting the selector, css and trim stuff was easy. Each, children, append, empty, remove and extend were not too hard. Animations gave me more headache, but in the end, JS triggered CSS transitions worked nicely.
I was able to shave off the usual 30 kB over the wire for JQuery, and the whole thing seems snappier. Finally, I'm at vanilla everything!
Of course, it's largely due to JQuery's merits that vanilla JS is where it is today. So, thank you JQuery, and farewell.4 -
I just love PHP. You can do so much awesome stuff with it. Here, let me show you:
How to READ a private member of an object:
$reader = \Closure::bind(function ($instance, $name) {
return $instance->{$name};
}, null, $instance);
$value = $reader($instance, $name);
How to WRITE a private member of an object:
$writer = \Closure::bind(function ($instance, $name, $value) {
$instance->{$name} = $value;
}, null, $instance);
$writer($instance, $name, $value);
See? Just like that. This is really amazing stuff. I don't know of any other languages that allow this.12 -
Student dev : "C++ is C but with OOP features"
Teacher dev : "C++ is a OOP language, you'll loose points if you don't use OOP"
Me: "Time to leave this school"3 -
I like building large apps in flat php.
I get bullied for not using OOP / Frameworks.
I don't like this.5 -
That moment when you automated the application so much, working on it get's actually kinda boring 🙈😂
-
I specified a requirement where certain bits in a certain message shall be evaluated for certain items. The tester came up to me and talked some BS about how to guesstimate these bits by totally different bits. I said, look up the interface definition, the bits are there. Got an email, same BS. Tester was just too lazy to look it up. So I answered that message ID X has bits 60-63 for the four relevant items.
However, I carefully avoided telling him which bit was for which item so that he knew what it was, but I still forced him to look up the inter fucking face definition. -
Some time ago at work, I verified a system design by running the whole thing in my head, bombarding it with various fault conditions in all phases in order to check whether I had forgotten anything. I had my eyes closed, and my PC was not even switched on. Right in that moment, the boss of my department came in.
He: what are you doing?
Me, without opening the eyes: thinking.
He: don't you want to code?
Me, eyes still closed: no.
He: (leaving)1 -
Yeah so I quickly hacked stuff together. Why make it beautiful before I know whether it will actually do? Hack now, refactor later!
Yeah and then that moment in refactoring where main() gets under 700 lines and I don't know whether what I'm feeling is joy or despair. Gaaaahhhh!
At least I have also written automatic tests so that I can see when something breaks.4 -
The object-oriented model makes it easy to build up programs by accretion. What this often means, in practice, is that it provides a structured way to write spaghetti code.
~Paul Graham -
Somehow, a continue instead of break in a switch-case looks weird. Although it makes perfectly sense with regard to the outer for loop.8
-
Not a rant, but I was offered dev positions at 2 companies. Excited to start working as a developer! I guess I'll get to post actual rants soon.2
-
So i've been working with OOP and now that i have some free time i decided to learn Golang.... Great language but at the beginning was really hard to go back to the non OOP.9
-
When I was taking a programming course as a Mathematics prerequisite, and then object oriented programming basics (inheritence, interfaces specifically) all just clicked at once. Immediately decided I was going to pursue the computer science major instead of math.2
-
That feeling when you think your workflow is bad and happens to see"Professional" Degree level team of coders writing crap code with even crappier workflow
-
I had six items that I wanted to centre horizontally via CSS. Problem was that depending on the viewport width, the items could either take one, two, three or six lines. But the items broke to the next line like text so that e.g. the top line had five items and the second only one. What I wanted was three items each in this case.
Finally, I came up with a hack of media queries to make the parent container just so wide that six, three, two or one item would fit horizontally, and then centre the parent container with margin left/right auto.1 -
“The problem with object-oriented languages is they’ve got all this implicit environment that they carry around with them. You wanted a banana but what you got was a gorilla holding the banana and the entire jungle.”
—Chris Scalfani, from https://medium.com/@cscalfani/...5 -
Python ecosystem drives me nuts!
Not the language tho, i kinda like it, and some features are damn straight awesome.
But ecosystem... man!
The way ppl write code in it, the lack of documentation (or in quality of it)...
I recently wanted to check how library does one thing (debug purposes), and not only i had to track some method up 3 classes, the other method i hunted only by signature and still i have no idea how it ends up being accessible where it should...
"Explicit is better than implicit" my ass...
Also dev managed to make the code very unreadable. In Python. Language with such strong opinions about code formatting. HOW ?!!
And the worst part is, it wasn't that big of a library and didn't really need the full freaking Enterprise OOP treatment with layers over layers of generally named classes and fucked up architecture.
FUCK THAT LIB, FUCK THAT DEV, FUCK IT ALL !!!
PS.
Project seems to be abandoned for a year or two, so there is hardly an option to fix things with the author sadly :(3 -
So I've been programming for a while now in various languages like C#, JavaScript, etc. I have never understood how to do OOP until I watched the MVA videos on Microsoft's website and I have to say, its made me love C# more and made things so much easier to understand!
I'm already thinking about rewriting my personal projects from scratch lol. -
Yeah, my new e-scooter arrived today! I just have to get the insurance sticker that is legally required here; I'll do that on Monday.5
-
I've been writing various forms of OOP for three years and just now learned exactly what static means
-
What do you think about class-based OOP vs. Prototype-based OOP?
I think that class-based OOP is an unnecessary abstraction of structs, functions and global variables most of the time.16 -
I've been dreaming about an eat() method in, I guess, Javascript. It would accept a string as parameter and set the cursor position further by the width of that string in the current font and size without displaying the string. A bit like a span with FG == BG.
But the best was the debug mode: the characters would be printed, but a yellow duck would appear from the left and eat them in Pacman style.1 -
I kind of don’t like OOP. There I said it.
Don’t get me wrong there are times I like using it. I don’t mind some of the features but I can rarely find times I want to use them.
It can be useful depending on the project but I mostly don’t use it and when I’m using Python I always feel like I have to? I know Python offers multiple types paradigms of programming to use but everyone’s making a big deal about OOP and I can rarely ever find uses for it. What I said for Python also goes for C++ I feel like I’m forced to do it. And I especially hate it in C++ fuck that.
I’d just like to use Python, and C++ without using it or if I do not have to use all the fancy features. And kinda wish Java and C# didn’t force OOP on you but I just don’t use all the fancy features in those languages (I don’t even use java but I’m mostly talking about C# for that one).
It’s not that I don’t know how to use it it’s that I can never find a use for any of the features or just don’t want to actually do it. Personally I only really see it shining in Game development, GUI development, and MAYBE network programming??
By all means I’m not trying to flame on OOP, I just wanted to throw my OOPinion (HA) on the matter. in fact you can tell me why you like it or dislike it. I’d like to discuss the topic with anyone.9 -
The tale of mouse and clock
Once upon a time, there was a mouse that wanted to know what time it was. So it asked the first best man, but unfortunately, it didn't understand Suaheli. Anyway, the man just mumbled "gotta kick the cat in the ass".
So the mouse went on and nearly would have got it when another mouse came into play that had been sewed onto an elephant's ear for 27 years - but it had forgotten the exact time it had gotten sewed on.
So the searching mouse came up with doing something about the sun, but since it was just a dumb mouse, it looked into the sun and was blinded for a time.
Somewhat desperately, it staggered through the gutter where there was quite some garbage. Just by chance, it fell over a dumped wristwatch and broke its nose.
Moral of the story: even a blind mouse sometimes can find a broken clock.2 -
thinking about getting a laracasts subscribtion, is it worth it at all? I've recently been working with PHP a lot, and my OOP skills are pretty narrow tbh, I wanted to learn more OOP and laravel, because there are a lot of job's that require you laravel knowledge.5
-
PC-Lint is such a useless piece of shit! Tons of warnings with no actual benefit. The obvious motivation behind this crap was to throw as many warnings as this cheap sucker can even generate with no effort to minimise false positives. Typical snakeoil shit, reminds me of ZoneAlarm back then which reported every ping as "attack" just to fool the clueless into buying. Meanwhile, the actual bugs that sophisticated tools can find pass unnoticed through PC-Lint.
-
The WordPress Gutenberg editor is now starting to hit unsuspecting users who havn't been following up with the preview phase. They mostly hate it, and the arrogance from the WP pricks is stunning.
My favourite quote from WP.org admin Otto: "This is the future editor in WordPress. It is happening. There's no stopping that train now. People thinking that they can somehow stop the train are people who are standing in front of a train. That never really ends well."
Yeah you little dipshit, do you know what did end FUCKING well? Not having put myself on your bloody track in the first place so that I can sit back and enjoy my popcorn! :-)13 -
Just got an internship a few days ago. The manager threw a project at me. I have to do it alone. It's a user-system (registration, login etc.) The front-end is ready. And I have to build its back-end in PHP. I started to draw the project on paper (pseudocode) and then asked a few questions about design patterns to jump into coding. They recommended me Laravel. I'm good at PHP (procedural) and have done some basic OOP. I've actually built a few projects in Python using OOP. But I've never used any framework (yeah, I know). So I started to learn Laravel and realized that it's very different than normal PHP (procedural or even normal OOP). I almost don't write any normal PHP code. This makes me confused. But I have to learn it fast and well, and finish the project to hit the deadline and get the full-time job. I'm desperately looking for any kind of help to learn Laravel more effectively! I've googled and got some recommendations. But I need more live help from devs directly.6
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So I've a little freelance project, is basically a blog. I've decided to use microservices with angular in the front end and python in the backend.
I've been about 2 weeks copy pasting code in my api because all the modules are pretty simple CRUDs that do the same thing, there is not heavy business logic or anything, just database handling.
I was really tired of copy pasting modules and his test, only changing function names and parameters, today I've this "epifany" about the inheritance and thinked about using it in my service, creating a base class and making all the other classes children of him.
Before the change my project has 220 tests (100% coverage) now I have only 40 tests (the same 100% coverage)
So, the lesson is: don't start throwing code like an idiot and start your project with some good planning2 -
There was a big hairy ball of SW mud from another project that a poor coworker had to "reuse". Only that it was impossible because there was no documentation, shit was partly auto-generated with mysterious Excel tables, and the actual code was just as bad. No APIs and nothing, just hacking shit into globals, several nested state machines that were overriding each other's states, and with global side effects. WTF.
Two devs took a look at it - minimum 8 weeks. Schedule was some days, and PM insisted that it was "already working". But the worst thing was that the dev in charge had been looking for another job anyway and quit, so the whole clusterfuck suddenly was on my desk.
The code was so awful that I could only bear it with both eyes closed, so I instead read the spec of this project closely. Turned out that it didn't actually demand this feature, only a small subset of what the ball of mud was supposed to achieve - which I was able to implement from scratch within a day, plus another one for documentation. Phew. -
I wanted to cry so much when I saw my original 2-method interface turns to have 34 methods of unrelated shits.
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So, I came across an AIML library for Node that hasn't been touched in 2 years. This guy defined all the methods in the classes constructor, so there is no fucking prototype at all.
What the fuck. -
How often do you use design patterns and which one most?
Please add your language in which you use them.7 -
There's plenty of literature about how to emulate classes and interfaces flawlessly in JS even without es6, but no, let's make a separate language using 20 extra keywords and several unnecessary concepts called TypeScript with its own compiler.10
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Got an invitation for a telecon this afternoon. Just "some quick questions"(tm).
You stupid smurf dick, write them fucking down so that I can fucking prepare useful answers and probably eliminate the whole dumb telecon at all.
I declined the telecon, problem solved. No fucking questions means no fucking telecon. I won't burn through the project budget for ventilating your dick, you can hire a hooker for that one on your own cost centre. -
I've just used https://gtmetrix.com to see how devRant fares. Pretty well actually, with one major gotcha that should be easy to fix. There are a lot of static resources without browser cache expiration date.
A little image optimisation could also be done, see the PageSpeed tab. And scaling down images in CSS could also be replaced by proper scaling of the image itself.
The YSlow tab shows that a little JS minification is missing, and maybe 4 external scripts could be combined into one.1 -
People who are too cool for old-and-busted OOP, but want to build microservices: networks of independent, encapsulated systems that look after their own data and communicate by passing messages.
Yup, that's totally not OOP you're doing there, kiddo. -
When the previous developer doesn't appear to know what casting is...
var foo = Convert.ToBoolean(objDictionary["someKey"].ToString());1 -
Ah I love that movie.. Hero, from 2002. I've seen it in the cinema three times. It's a real marvel, especially the scene where the forest turns red right after Snow killed Moon.
I also like how the quotes are adaptable:
Martial arts and programming are quite different, but they are based on the same principle: striving for highest perfection.
The essence of programming reveals itself through study and meditation.
(The latter one is also one of my favourite lines at work when being asked how come I know some esoteric stuff: it revealed itself through study and meditation.)5 -
So I'm at this gaming event to enter in a small game I have been working on with fellow teammates. As an OOP, does anyone find the following conversation hmmm, odd?
Guy: I program for Microsoft!
Me: That's great! What's your favorite syntax?
Guy: I don't want to get into that? Me(inMyHead): 🙄😂😂😂👍🏾4 -
I came from a procedural background, then adopted object-oriented programming, and now I am very enthusiastic about functional programming. Is this kind of an evolutionary path as a programmer? Or am I just late to the party?
And what paradigm follows?5 -
So I had to chuckle at this: https://www.devrant.io/rants/93746
My gf asked what was up. I tried explaining OOP to her (she does not have any coding knowledge) and I used the following example:
Let's say there is a class humans, you are an instance of that class and so am I. There are certain variables like hair color and height and those are different for you and me. There are also functions that we both can do and those are defined in the class.
I thought it was a neat idea. -
Yeah Statler and Waldorf are my new role models. A code review in S&W style should be quite a killer, haha.
- I've never seen anything like this before.
.
.
.
- And I hope I'll never see anything like this again!8 -
Java rant...
If public field declaration is so so bad, why can't all class fields in java just be private by default? And make it a pain in the ass to expose it as public?
I can't actually remember a time declared a class field as public, it is muscle memory now... Private bla Bla Bla, return, private bla Bla, return...4 -
the company I work for has code that's very procedural which makes cringe as I strongly prefer object oriented.1
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I love how frameworks and languages become more object oriented.
PHP and Javascript for example have come a very long way in the last decennia orso.
The why is obvious: logic makes sense.1 -
People might like it. People might love it. People might wanna kiss it. People might wanna share bed with it.
But I just don't feel it. -
So I applied to a Java internship, I'm an absolute newbie in coding, they invited me to an interview and we're gonna have an assessment exercise regarding Java and OOP in general, any one have a Java or OOP one weekend crash course? Thx!14
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Learning New Design Patterns...
When all you've got is a hammer, everything looks like a nail. Arg.
Recently, my code in almost any controller is like so:
return (new MyFancyClass($param))->methodThatHandlesIt();
that can't be the solution to everything.... although it kind of is
how can I beef up on patterns and avoid crushing a screw into the wall without realizing it's not a nail4 -
Not quite sure what to rant about, but it sucks:
- Why the FUCK is Windows taking bloody TWO MINUTES to delete Android NDK?
- Why the FUCK does it take ANOTHER two braindead minutes to delete that from the waste bin?
- Why the FUCK is Android NDK so bloated to begin with?
- Why the FUCK have I still not come around to equip my 8 year old PC with an SSD?1 -
Been wanting to get into OOP and unit testing, haven't found a single semi big project that I can use to study these techniques...
Wrote myself a class when asked to do an API call last week, and I think it looks pretty decent...
Does anyone have a ressource to just see how to do it "properly" on medium sized projects? (100k loc)7 -
Mozilla you stinking kangaroo pouches!
When you set an object's CSS translation via JS like so:
obj.style.transform="translate(0px,0px)";
and then read it back, every browser including FF until 66 gives this, with additional space:
"translate(0px, 0px)"
However, bloody FF 67 returns "translate(0px)". Because it's always a good idea to just introduce external changes nilly-willy, right?
That screwed up my crappy string slicing because it relied on the presence of the comma. It was a quick and dirty solution, but with additional future proof if/else logic, it wouldn't even be quick anymore.
Besides, the whole string slicing looked like yo-yo code anyway so that I instead added shadow integer variables to the objects. That solution not only works, but is even faster.21 -
I realized only now that OOP is POO when read backwards. I wonder if this is a secret message encoded by somebody to make us all switch to functional programming2
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To any Java developers. I been programming for about 2 years on and off. Im pretty good when given a task. But from your experience. What techniques, or methodologies should a Java programmer know of he wants to really get serious and get a job? Do you guys have portfolio projects?13
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I've always sucked at OOP and OOD, _in part_ because I have never encountered a good, common sense, relatable real-world example or analogy of why one would use protected or private variables/objects/functions over public. I watch tutorials and it all just sounds like static in my head and the explanations are just like "well, it's obvious you want to do blah blah blah because reasons."
Maybe it's just painfully obvious to everyone but me and my tiny brain just isn't capable of understanding. But if anyone has the example or analogy that made OOP click for you, please share.7 -
i wish i had no university classes (or at least, only programming classes) so that i could learn more about different technologies and had more time to code :(3
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Got recruiter spam from a "devs only" super-hip recruiting company. As they announced in the mail, they develop themselves and know the difference between Java and Javascript. On their blog where the last post is from more than one year ago, they have hints how to pimp up one's resume. Amongst other useful things: don't use Comic Sans.
WHAT THE FUCKING FUCK?!5 -
in my OOP class the prof spent most of the time telling us OOP is dying, but we have to learn it anyway.5
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How do you do java style oop with classes and inheritance and all that in c++?
Do I really have to make a header and a source file for each class?
And while we are on it: are there any sources of "famous" games written in cpp?8 -
!rant
I'm really excited with the 2018 World Championship, and I guess I'll leave work earlier to watch the games live.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
What do you think, who will win? Carlsen or Caruana?2 -
What do you think of Elixir + Phoenix to build API’s? Is it a better choice than a more established language like Python or something more new like Scala or Clojure?
At my company we're going through a watershed moment where we're starting to discuss and think about re-building our digital foundations and nothing is off limits. I'm leading the discussion about our architecture where everyone can have their say into what the future looks like for our applications. We're currently on a Drupal (CMS) + PHP7/Symfony (Backend Content Repository) + Symfony Twig templates (Frontend)
Even though I have been developing in PHP most of my career, I personally love Elixir and spend a lot of my time away from work learning it but many of my reasons feels subjective like pattern matching, it's actor concurrency model, immutable data and not having to deal with classes/objects, and I'm not entirely sure how that translates to business value, advocating successfully for a tech stack change requires solid reasoning and good answers to challenges like how do we find Elixir developers when existing devs leave, how easy is it to build a CI/CD pipeline for Elixir/Phoenix, etc.4 -
When you spend ages making a really nice for loop for handling multiple classes similar functionality, only to have it all messed up by one overloaded method1
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!rant
I finally published my first open source project. A package for calculation a geohash of a geolocation for pharo smalltalk.
I know that most of the users don't know smalltalk but it's the best OOP you can code with. And geohash is such a great algorithm. Lovely combination2 -
Question: can I describe OOP as "not in a loop, doesn't use interrupts" ?
I don't know much outside of OOP so describing it is like describing life, hard.9 -
Not learning proper OOP in college.
Having to learn that to fix some projects was a real pain back then.1 -
Since I started living by Sandi Metz rules for devs, i feel like my code has really improved.
My favorites:
* Classes can be no longer than one hundred lines of code.
* Methods can be no longer than five lines of code.
I hope you find them as usefull as I did.2 -
Okay so theres something stopping me from understanding how Object Oriented Programming works. im sorry ahead of time this will get messy..
SO in this case we will use python. well what if the object has more than two functions? like the __init__, func1, then func2 and func2 does something else but doesn't get called or would you have to call of of them like class.func1(), class.func2().
I just don't understand when it comes to how the functions interact or effect each other. and how they would work when you dont call that specific function. I see the use of oop i just cant wrap my head around certain things..17 -
Taugt myself javascript through online tutorials. Once you know one OOP language, it's easy to learn all other OOP languages.1
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!rant
C++ / OOP QUESTION
I have a uni assignment / project (Data Structures class), where I have to implement the ins-n-outs of 1D arrays, by creating a dynamically allocated array class, which can accept any type of data (using templates). But there's a problem.
I'd like to implement sorting the elements of the array. But given the fact, that I'm using templates, I cannot treat the elements as integers, nor as strings, or other types...
Also, let's say that the elements of the array are elements of class T, where T looks like this:
class T {
private:
double height;
int age;
string name;
public:
double getH() { return height; }
int getAge() { return age; }
string getName() { return name; }
};
(It's just a random example, pls don't judge for code quality...)
Let's say that I'd like to sort the T elements based on height, print out, sort by age, print out, then sort by name and print out. How can I do this? Is this possible?8 -
I'm creating a little "cloud" app, for training and learning about how network communications work. I try to do it with SOLID principles in mind, but it's faster said than done, as I don't have a lot of experience.
Anyway, I want to write the server config in a file which would be read at launch, but I'm wondering how you'd do it while respecting SOLID as much as possible.
Do you see any interesting design pattern I could dive into to implement this part while still being able to change or add things efficiently ?
Or any open source project where I could read the code and inspire myself for my project ?
For example, things I might want to implement later (and reasons to make the code flexible) :
- At first the config file is read only (edited manually) but later you'd be able to update it from within the app
- Later in development, you could maybe use overwriting flags when launching the server from command line
- Currently, if a field in the config file is invalid or absent, an error is displayed and the program closes. I intend to use default values instead, or to ask the user to manually enter the parameters before continuing execution
- I'd like to be able to switch the file format without changing much code (currently in JSON, because parsing libraries are easy to use, but it could switch to YAML or XML or whatever)
- Maybe even switch to a config stored in database instead of a simple file ?
- To be portable, the config path depends on the OS (AppData for Windows, $HOME/.config/ for Linux, $HOME/Library/Preferences for OSX...) but could be also given from the command line
It's a training personal project and a challenge, not something which is intended to be released publicly (in its current state), so I don't really care about YAGNI or "using a database is a dumb idea", I'm just trying to force myself to apply SOLID principles in front or real potential problems (not tuto code).
Also note that I'm asking for advice, not that you do all the work for me, of course. If you have a design pattern or two that come in mind, or an open-source project which already reads config from a file from which I could inspire myself, just cite a name, I'll do the research myself (I'm already, actually, but some guidance would be helpful).1 -
Boss/prof (does not understand code): "I like it more this way. Come on don't make that face thanks to OOP it won't be that much of a deal to make a change right"
He wants to change a fundamental data structure of our software 😉😉😉1 -
TL;DR: Brainfuck & Abstraction is so cool!
One of my dreams is to make a Mandelbrot Fractal with Brainfuck as the one on Rosetta Code.
I'm too lazy... So i'm writing a Compiler for Brainfuck.
At now i have 900 line of Python code and the operation VAR, SET, ADD, SUB, MUL with nested operation compatibility, IF, ELSE, ENDIF...
Probably i will doing it fast directly with BF but damn if abstraction is so cool!!4 -
to be honest, i hate every OOP, in my opinion it's just add complexity in every way. yet i would like to use Functional Programming but it's fukking hard to learn and hard to get use to. Tryna get used to Haskell.4
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First day of intro to oop class, have to use eclipse, change theme to dark and make console parallel to editor.
Professor comes by and asked if it was eclipse... Yes?
Everyone is looking at my monitor like I'm a fucking magician.
Y'all basic af!2 -
Books.
Do you guys know a good book for professional PHP 7 programming, especially OOP, concepts, design patterns, abstraction, algorithms, security and data structures?
Please not that beginner stuff, I want to dive deeper into PHP 7 😁
Maybe in German or English 😋3 -
I learned today that learning programming in MVC architecture has nothing to do with programming but understanding objects, layers, architecture etc.
Please dear tutorial creators, introduce me to the subject with explanations of those and not with some code of mvc or whatever. -
ContractNotCompleteException.
Just found this on a contract.
19.1 Within this clause *Error! Reference source not found.* the following words shall have the following meanings: -
Please someone tell me there's a better way to copy an object in Javascript...
I can't live with a language where I have to do this
9 -
(Warning, wall of text)
Settle an argument for me. Say you have a system that deals with proprietary .foo files. And there are multiple versions of foo files. And your system has to identify which version of foo you are using and validate the data accordingly.
Now the project I was on had a FooValidator class that would take a foo file, validate the data and either throw an error or send the data on its merry way through the rest of the system. A coworker of mine argued that this was terrible practice because all of the foo container classes should just contain a validate method. I argued that it was a design choice and not bad practice just different practice. But I have also read that rather than a design choice that having a FooValidator is the right way to do OOP. Opinions?1 -
One hell of a devRant, and a very good read which explains why much of what many of us were taught about programming is wrong:
http://smashcompany.com/technology/...3 -
Today I found a faulty design choice in java, that seriously makes me hate java. Basically java prohibits abstract static methods. This -combined with the poor design choices for constructors - means that Subclasses cannot have a common constructor or static method calling the constructor.
Basically meaning that you can't just map a collection to objects without handling EVERY FUCKING CASE, WRITING THE WHOLE MAPPING AGAIN AND AGAIN, ADDING A FORCED PORTION OF SPAGHETTI WITH EVERY CLASS WHERE THIS WAS NEEDED.
https://stackoverflow.com/questions...
There seem to be other OOP languages with this faulty design. Can't say if I now hate OOP ingeneral or not, because maybe some languages may have provided a substitute for this6 -
There is a book or list of videos that you guys recommend to learn better practices in the world of OOP?2
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Fuck Threads and fuck multithreading in general.
I've spent the last 2 hours and a half looking for an important error that did my project not work at first execution, and it was all because I did start a side Thread, but forgot to wait until it was done before showing the output of it.
Fucking multithreading...3 -
When someone calls me VincentNwonah and expects me to answer. but I'm a programmer and VincentNwonah is a different object from NwonahVincent. ;p
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Had a lecturer that taught a module on OOP where the entire module was spent teaching how to code on Java while the concept of OOP was just skimmed through at the end of the module. Okay, fine, it's just supposed to introduce OOP, maybe the continuation will go into detail.
The next semester we had the continuation module titled OOP with Java. Entire module was about Javafx. So two semesters later and everyone in the class barely understood things such as polymorphism or abstraction. -
How should I explain to my colleagues why to use a object oriented approach or even dependency injection when they write mostly only static methods in our projects?
Points like testing and maintenance don‘t sadly work.2 -
I am in a slump. I keep writing spaghetti code. Is there any platform where I can practice Object Oriented principles?1
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It's kinda hard if you're a beginner and don't know if you're doing things with good practice...
I would really appreciate if someone could review my code and tell me if I'm on the right track: https://github.com/Dollique/...
For Info: I'm doing this all by myself for a learning purpose and I know I could easily use a finished framework :)
Thanks!1 -
Code == business ideology. That's why corporations love obfuscated OOP; it's just like their power structures.1
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What are some books that are a must read or blog posts about OOP and concepts of programming? Should I also pick up some CS books too? I want to learn more to be able to pick up different languages better, I guess understanding the principles of programming would help me achieve that? Thanks in advance!1
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Continuing learning a little bit of Java with sololearn. Definitely hard considering I'm coming from Python hahaha. I'm pretty excited to learn Java though because I've always been interested in the possibilities of the language and of learning OOP3
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anyone know a good tutorial for unity and its c# api structure? i’m having a hard time wrapping my head around it and i am starting to feel stupid.3
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