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Jesus, Apple are fucking amazing at design! A keyboard I need to prop up with a book and a mouse I can't use when charging.... Genius!!!!
47 -
True history... (I find in twitter)
⠀ ⠀ ⠀⠀ (\__/)
⠀ (•ㅅ•) my mentor defending
＿ノ ヽ ノ＼ ＿ my code to the team
/ `/ ⌒Ｙ⌒ Ｙ ヽ
( (三ヽ人 / |
| ﾉ⌒＼ ￣￣ヽ ノ
ヽ＿＿＿＞､＿＿_／
｜( 王 ﾉ〈 (\__/)
/ﾐ`ー―彡 \ (•ㅅ•) me2 -
Translated:
"And jesus said:
Return home to your villages and solve the IT problems of your parents"
Merry Christmas everyone!!
2 -
How reading E-Mail is hard:
Me:
"Dear client,
please send the pictures for content A and Content B.
We also found content C in your spreadsheet. Do you want content C to be uploaded? Please us where to place it.
Regards
Me (who does not consider this a difficult text)
"
Client:
"Hello. Please find attached the pictures for A"
Me:
"Dear Client,
Thank you for the pictures for A.
What about the pictures for B?
And what about that content for C?
"
Client:
(no answer)
Desperate Me:
(Looking at the attachment and finding pictures for A and B)
!!@**! :(
Reluctant Me:
"Dear Client,
Please look at the new iteration <here/>
And by the way.. what about that content C?"
Client:
"Thanks and find the images for Content C attached."
Extremely fatalistic and desolate Me:
"Well thank you. Where shall we put it then?"
Client (answer to the unanswered mail above)
"Thank you. Please don't forget to put in C."
-_________-*******10 -
FOR JESUS FUCKING CHRIST ALMIGHTY, IN ALL THAT IS HOLY OF FUCK. I AM ACTUALLY
Not angry at all, I just really like swearing7 -
Language and their user:
C - programming language of God
C++ - Pagan Deity
C# - Beethoven
Java - Jesus
Python - The Crocodile Hunter
Ruby - Miyamoto Musashi (samurai)
Rust - Da Vinci
JavaScript - Satan
PHP - Justin Bieber23 -
So after using my new MacBook I have 1 complaint... This fucking escape soft button being away from the edge, I understand you want to do symmetry with the finger print scanner but Jesus Christ it's annoying!
Edit: yes it's a minor issue but you notice it during use more than you think
34 -
An engineer was working on a windows server. Needed to partition something so typed 'part' in the windows search thingy (windows 10).
Few results found:
Participation laws
Part time working
Partial (something)
Engineer: Jesus fucking Christ I just want the FUCKING partitioner, windows what the actual fuck.18 -
Job posting I saw a few weeks back:
"Looking for a web developer who knows JavaScript or how most people refer to as Java."
Jesus...6 -
Jesus and Satan have an argument as to who is the better programmer. This goes on for a few hours until they come to an agreement to hold a contest with God as the judge. They set themselves before their computers and begin. They type furiously, lines of code streaming up the screen, for several hours straight.
Seconds before the end of the competition, a bolt of lightning strikes, taking out the electricity. Moments later, the power is restored, and God announces that the contest is over. He asks Satan to show his work. Visibly upset, Satan cries and says, “I have nothing. I lost it all when the power went out.”
“Very well,” says God, “let us see if Jesus has fared any better.”
Jesus presses a key, and the screen comes to life in vivid display, the voices of an angelic choir pour forth from the speakers.
Satan is astonished. He stutters, “B-b-but how?! I lost everything, yet Jesus’ program is intact! How did he do it?”
God chuckles, “Everybody knows… Jesus saves.”4 -
MITM on all HTTPS traffic in Kazakhstan
https://bugzilla.mozilla.org/show_b...
Sweet Lord Jesus... Now there is a precedent10 -
When somebody submits an issue to your backlog that not even Software Development Jesus himself could fix
8 -
The level of fucking backflips I have to do to get these morons to learn git and not share code via fucking emails, Jesus Christ, you'd think I asked them to switch religions. Why the fuck does this profession not require a fucking license in this godforsaken country.14
-
Oh fuck and boy Jesus, how on earth is this still a thing 😦
MD fucking 5 is not a fucking “secure” crypto algorithm.
This site has 14 million breached accounts with fucking MD5 hashes.
I think I’ve had to much internet for today.
17 -
"Please add a feature to check the user's internet connection before the application starts."
-- THIS IS A GOD DAMN WEB APPLICATION, YOU DUMB MORONS! Maybe I should add a feature next that checks for the user's computer being turned on or what? How about making sure the application isn't run when the power is out?!
Jesus fuck.14 -
!rant
Jesus, this took so much work...
My university has started Swift lectures but my god their Mac minis are really crappy so I decided I would install Mac on my PC.
How can an operating system take so much fucking work to even boot!
16 -
And there was I struggleling with another goddamn error. Turn to a colleage and asks for help.
He looks at me. Breaths slowly. Then says.
"Dude, Jesus is your answer".6 -
Jesus Christ. Dagger2's documentation has got to be the most convoluted shit I have ever laid my eyes on.
The sheer mental gymnastics I had to do to get through this one line at 2:30 am...
11 -
Why all the hate? Jesus...
I love my Windows 10 laptop, I love my Android phone, I love working in PHP. But I would never, NEVER, think less of anyone who prefers Mac/Linux/iPhone/C#/Python/what-ever-the-fuck12 -
*opens DevRant*
*sees Meme about how bad language xy is*
*closes DevRant*
Is there nothing else one can laugh about? Does it always have to be hate? Well... it's about rants, but at least hate your own language. Not others for theirs. That's their job. Amen.31 -
FUCKING FRONTEND DEVELOPING PIECE OF SHIT.
Why the fuck does justify-content: center behaves differently on chrome, Firefox and IE?
JESUS FUCKING CHRISTMAS GET YOUR SHIT TOGETHER12 -
All right Bois, it's my first 3D model in years: a lamp post's base.
Jesus fuck this shit has a learning curve.
14 -
This company has been a "start-up" for 5 years farming money off of fucking idiots using a shitty CMS.
- The senior dev gets paid 15/hr
- No use of version control or testing
- the CEO has no fucking knowledge about tech.
and you wonder why it's FAILING?! I'm surprised you guys stayed afloat this long, jesus fucking christ.5 -
My coworker implemented this date extension for no reason. Also handles back before they changed it. He wrote tests too
6 -
Just trying to change a folder's name on the SD card on my phone... Whoops
I once got it to say "0 out of 100TB" or so. Jesus
8 -
That moment when you write 200 lines of code and it compiled, runs and passes all tests.
Sweet Jesus!6 -
YOU FUCKING PIECE OF SHIT!
I have nothing against teaching and showing someone starting in this field how to do things but FOR FUCKS SAKE, PUT INTEREST IN IT, I WON'T DO YOUR FUCKING JOB, I HAVE MY JOB, YO DO YOURS.
Jesus...fucking Christ, these kind of people always get on my nerves.2 -
I just installed Ubuntu on my old laptop and Jesus that terminal is just amazing. Now I see why GUI is for noobs.8
-
Jesus Christ, how did that even get past QA. Non-resizable widget that nobody asked for where the text doesn't even fucking fit.. and that's not devRant compression... the text is fucking blurry for some reason????
11 -
Me: Updates my debian.
Nautilus: Is slow af.
Me: *googles alternatives*
Me: Let's try ranger.
Me 10 sec after installing: Holy jumping jesus on a breadstick there's a lot of shortcuts.7 -
# main.py
# ok since we are removing master/slave
# terminology, let's refactor our code to this
# jesus.py formerly master_machine.py
# formerly slave-machine.py
from jesus import owned_hashtable as the_word
from follower import listener as you
# let's see if this still piss them off.4 -
Oh my God. New pet peeve:
People who answer questions on Amazon with an answer like "idk I just got this :(" or "idk man I bought it as a present."
Why the fuck do you feel the urge to answer a fucking question without actually answering it? Like are you that fucking stupid? Jesus Christ.5 -
Jesus and Satan have an argument as to who is the better programmer. This goes on for a few hours until they come to an agreement to hold a contest with God as the judge. They set themselves before their computers and begin. They type furiously, lines of code streaming up the screen, for several hours straight.
Seconds before the end of the competition, a bolt of lightning strikes, taking out the electricity. Moments later, the power is restored, and God announces that the contest is over. He asks Satan to show his work. Visibly upset, Satan cries and says, "I have nothing. I lost it all when the power went out."
"Very well," says God, "let us see if Jesus has fared any better."
Jesus presses a key, and the screen comes to life in vivid display, the voices of an angelic choir pour forth from the speakers.
Satan is astonished. He stutters, "B-b-but how?! I lost everything, yet Jesus' program is intact! How did he do it?"
God chuckles, "Everybody knows... Jesus saves."2 -
Jesus Christ Reddit really is full of some sensitive ass basement dwelling retards. God forbid someone doesn't contribute to the circle jerk mentality that literally every fucking subreddit has.
I bet SO users spend their free time there.11 -
I've been looking at the shittiest code today. Hundreds of lines saying
this.thing.otherThing.EvenAnotherThing[this.someFuckingIndexThatShouldntBeAField].theOnlyBitThatsDifferentPerLine.AlsoNoneOfTheNamesWereThisMeaningful
Over and over. They're all wider than the editor window. Clearly copy pasted. Just make a fucking variable Jesus Christ how do you expect anyone to read that2 -
Privacy is going bust
We're robots now
Chewing on our politians delicate ARSE
Fuck this shit
I'm going underground
Cold War Two awaits us.
The net shall be our shelter.
They blew it. We dig deeper.
Jesus Christ are we assraped5 -
Who else questions the Apple QA team?
Effective power to the letter "i" not working to the root bug and now this?
Jesus Christ they need to get some help lol
10 -
Sometimes in my code, I'll set a variable to "Jesus" so that when testing, I get to tell myself "Time to find Jesus"
-
Jesus Christ Almighty fucking Instagram is a real shit show lately.
So many fucking bots. The porn bots than spam comments and DMs, the bots people tag in comments that get you a lot of likes and then just people that use bots to comment on posts.
Like fucking hell bruh can y'all fix your shit?7 -
Jesus fuck Gigabyte motherboards downloading and installing firmware updates over HTTP no fucking S
https://tomshardware.com/news/...10 -
Goddamn! Take a shower! You smell dank as fuck!
People coming into my cubicle smelling this way piss me off! I know it's possible for you to find time to shower.
Jesus12 -
My coworker asked where his toolbar was.
I said I removed it for him because... you all probably know why
He literally slapped me and yelled at me.
I know going onto his computer was wrong but Jesus Christ no need to fucking slap me9 -
*LOL* The animal rights organisation PETA criticises the use of donkeys in the traditional Passion play in Oberammergau, Bavaria, Germany. PETA claims that Jesus would ride into Jerusalem on an e-scooter.
https://dw.com/en/...11 -
*installing linux on my mini laptop*
- Dad: "you should make a backup image of windows 10"
- Me: "LOL NOPE!"
(With 2gb of ram, linux makes it the perfect lightweight coding machine. But with W10? Jesus christ)6 -
seen on hacker news:
"I have applied to 600 software dev jobs in 2/3 months and have had around 8 interviews but still no dice.
reply"
jesus i'm going to give up now. i'd rather be homeless than mindlessly wasting my time12 -
Tfw GitHub app is forcing you to push to master and you do so because you're an idiot, and your agnostic ass starts praying to god(s) nothing goes wrong.2
-
I agreed to help a friend setup a BTC atm... Jesus I just found out the client is written in JavaScript (notoriously bad with numbers).
Im starting to wonder if Js has gone too far.5 -
On a company event. Supposed to do some water skiing.
I'm no fucking Jesus, I can't walk on water! Leave me alone!
Also, I am NOT interested in seeing my teammates in swimsuits. Yikes!3 -
I hold most devs in high regard, here in devRant too. Please tell me none of you feels this way:
https://digitalocean.com/currents/...
Get a fucking job if you wanna get paid. Jesus...
17 -
Jesus. Got elected by the product owner last minute to give a presentation to a bunch of stakeholders. What the fuck is the point of your job if all you do is delegate your responsibilites to other people.4
-
I just called my girlfriend to check up on her.
She said she's in church,
I said "put JESUS on the phone"
...
I don't trust that Bitch :)3 -
2 freaking hours wasted on "Working on updates. Dont turn off the computer" on windows10. There should be a way to postpone that. Jesus
11 -
Emailing about a stray error message with a service. He asked me to send a screenshot of the error. So I do.
In the tabs bar, it's clearly written "how to print screen on linux" JESUS FUCKING CHRIST kill me1 -
RAM's deadliest archenemies: Chrome + Android Studio
Forced me to add a SWAP partition so that Linux doesn't shit itself, and it's almost filled up as well.
4 -
jesus christ is there a single pdf editor where i don't have to pay some money to use for something i could download from github right now
🤡🤡🤡13 -
my friend was bragging how he could program a game on his TI-84 calculator
it was just a (buggy) random number game
I told him good job, I program a bit, too
he said "yeah? what do u do?"
I said "I made two apps"
he walked away
I thanked god -
Took some time off with the Mrs for our crotch goblin's first birthday and it was wonderful. I properly switched off for the first time since he was born, barely touched a keyboard, went outside, slept. I felt great.
But Jesus H Christ trying to get my mind back into work mode is a slow and difficult process. More coffee please.5 -
This career is so stressful. Who the hell thought of bringing our product to customers just before Christmas. Whyy... What did your mother do to you. Jesus f** christ.
How do ya’ll deal with stress at work?6 -
You know what a payment feature that is “so secure even the correct user can’t use it” is called?
FUCKING BROKEN. Jesus Christ I hate it when “customer service” people are trying to sound smart.1 -
Jesus fucking stupid backend developers that don't listen when you tell them their shit doesn't work. So you end up wasting time again and again tracking down these fucking obscure issues that are caused by THE SAME FUCKING BACKEND ISSUE3
-
Is it bad that I kind of don't like using DuckDuckGo as a search engine?
I mean, I use it cause duh privacy. But when it comes to search results- google always gets what I want-
Jesus that kinda sucks why can't i get both10 -
FUCK WINDOWS FUCK NODEJS FUCK ANGULAR FUCK VISUAL STUDIO FUCK POWERSHELL FUCK ALL THAT FUCKIN CRAP WHY THE FUCKIN HELL IT SHOULD BE THAT HARD TO INSTALL SOME SHIT AND START WORKING LIKE A NORMAL PERSON WOULD DO JESUS FUCKIN CHRIST I FUCKIN HATE THAT OS FUCK THIS SHIT10
-
Jesus goddamn Christ, fuck all the poorly designed UX. I wish there was an API for everything, it would make everyone's lifes way more pleasant4
-
I just discovered that the school my toddler goes to has a policy where they have a meeting with you if your kid gets there late 3 times.
I'm fine with something like 5, but 3!!!!
Jesus fucking christ, she's 4!
The amount of effort I have to put to awake, bathe, dress and feed this kid is unholy, and the time it takes can fluctuate.4 -
Just saw an advert for a well known store, who are supporting Care for Children this Christmas. Nice advert.
One commentor trashed it saying "it doesn't mention anything about Jesus and it doesn't make sense". I replied with "neither does miraculous conception".
I was then called "ignorant"....
Interesting. People are...interesting.2 -
Jesus and Satan have an argument as to who is the better programmer. This goes on for a few hours until they come to an agreement to hold a contest with God as the judge. They set themselves before their computers and begin. They type furiously, lines of code streaming up the screen, for several hours straight.
Seconds before the end of the competition, a bolt of lightning strikes, taking out the electricity. Moments later, the power is restored, and God announces that the contest is over. He asks Satan to show his work. Visibly upset, Satan cries and says, “I have nothing. I lost it all when the power went out.”
“Very well,” says God, “let us see if Jesus has fared any better.”
Jesus presses a key, and the screen comes to life in vivid display, the voices of an angelic choir pour forth from the speakers.
Satan is astonished. He stutters, “B-b-but how?! I lost everything, yet Jesus’ program is intact! How did he do it?”
God chuckles, “Everybody knows… Jesus saves.” -
I've been wondering why I have such big issues with DNS propagation on a website I moved - I just checked and somebody modified the old A record to have TTL of... 7 days.
Jesus fucking christ, why?3 -
Working on projects when you're sleep deprived and your hair is falling out is food for nightmares!
Jesus, why am I shedding hair? I'm afraid to look at my scalp and see bald spots.23 -
Trying out Amazon sagemaker
You can do it for free they say
Deployed a free sagemaker domain
Got charged 32 dollars one day after
Jesus fucking Christ7 -
Just wondering... anyone else think having a script automatically kill gradle if it runs for more than X amount of minutes would be a great sanity saver?
"Jesus Fucking Zombie Christ I only added ONE FUCKING TEXTVIEW IN A SIMPLE GODDAMNED LINEAR LAYOUT YOU WORTHLESS MOTHERFUCKING PIECE OF SHIT AND GRADLE IS STILL RUNNING AFTER FIVE MOTHERFUCKING MINUTES?!?!?!?!?!!?!?!?!?!"1 -
That moment when your server is so messed up you can only blame the devil.
So you throw away your stupid atheism, begin believing in jesus and you do an exorcism on your server.
You server still sucks, it's obviously because earth is flat and the instruction set of the CPU is meant for a round earth that never existed...3 -
You know what bugs me the most? When people make their code fast and efficient, but not updatable. Like if I want to add something for my program to look for I'd rather just put another item in an array than modify/add 30 lines. Jesus Christ people.1
-
But fuck, why are so many so called devs so fucking stupid?
Or have life decided that I should get all the stupid ones?
If the last one is true, Am I the Jesus for sysadmins?2 -
Sooooo.....
I just spend roughly 5 hours trying to get a Laravel Homestead up and running. Constantly jumping from one error to the other, getting nowhere.
Turns out that,
...
...
I NEVER FUCKING GENERATED A BLOODY SSH KEY
ARE YOU FUCKING KIDDING ME
AN ENTIRE DAY WASTED
JESUS CHRIST
I swear, I'm way too junior for like 95% of this shit....5 -
I wonder if people think they're original when they shout "it's Jesus!" because I have long hair and a beard
I often resort to a hipster bun so people would just leave me out of their "humour"
I won't mention the fact he was from the Middle East and was most definitely not white3 -
So I went to take a look at Mozilla's "privacy not included" guide.
That's some good comedy right there, fucking rubber ducks that spy on you.
Jesus fucking christ -
One day, I have debugged some nasty legacy code and all of the sudden I wonder...
If Jesus walked on the water, can he swim on land?7 -
Jesus shitting Christ. Do you want to know something by awful. A comment by @tahnik on a post by @yvang has just made me realise I have been fighting CSS to make it do what I want since IE3 came out.
In August 1996. 20 years ago. I'm 40. That's half my life ago. CSS, I salute you. You've been a worthy adversary.8 -
Nobody reviews my PR into test branch
The only guy who reviews it is the new senior dev who isn't yet used to how the company works, leaves comments about useless stuff and doesn't fucking approve
Jesus fucking Christ5 -
*orders something online*
*proceed to payment*
*ever payment details, click on "Pay now"*
*connection times out*
Oh Lord Jesus please help me I can't bear this suspense.1 -
Why didn't i use 2880x1620 resolution on my zenbook before?
Jesus it feels that i got so much more space and and it's pretty awesome
tmux + i3wm feels even more awesome4 -
My god, using a VM on a 4k monitor is fucking nuts. The cursor's a fucking speck and the text is tiny as well. Jesus, XP is impossible to use like that!7
-
When you want to make an unlinked copy:
JSON.parse(JSON.stringify(obj))
Holy mother Jesus, so many hours before I realised this. Really js!? Really...2 -
Jesus fucking Mary... I spent 30 minutes debugging why my bean wasn't being fetched and literally I decided to retype the class name for context.getBean(beanName) and it works... there was no difference whatsoever in the fucking spelling!!! Bullshit.4
-
How many boring monotonous corporate meetings, leading to no helpful conclusion or action item, is too many in a day?
Jesus please I just want to work!!!9 -
Jesus fuck. Why does anyone thing you need a factory pattern when you have only one single class you create...5
-
I just woke up after 2 hours sleeping. I feel like I have been in a car wreck. JESUS CHRIST THIS IS WHY I DON'T SLEEP WHEN IT'S STILL DAY.. Now I have to wait some time to clear my head to do some coding..
-
linux mint got wasted and rekt today. in a few hours, we have managed to install git, ssh, terminator and teamviewer. everything failed except for teamviewer. wowie,, i need more time to learn how git works tbh. we tried and tried and fucking tried over and over again until the terminaL WONT TYPE IN WHAT IM TYPING LIKE WHY ARE U REFUSING TO OBEY ME NOW KEYBOArd. the worst part is that i cant even SHUT DOWN because i cant even click on shut down. i had to force it using virtualbox. oh wellll, get ready linux.....
tomorrow is another day!5 -
So the company I work at is moving to a new location. We are a small company, so we were all talking about potential problems with the move - network, internet, firewalls, access to servers and so on. Us trying to cover all possible scenarios.
Our CTO looks up and says: “or we could just cross our fingers and hope for best”.
WTF🤯2 -
Jesus, I'm SO fed up with this mindless application of CRUD. This application would literally be less than half its current size if we weren't implementing crud for fucking broken device reports and repair offers, stuff that should have many states, a create action strictly bound to a user type and view/field wise edit phases bound to a state-usertype pair.
-
GUYS; STOP THE VIMIPOSTS got like all of them in the small period I‘m checkin jesus christ lord save us20
-
I was totally unaware of the world of configurations!
Ruby versions, Cocoa Pods versions, Manifest files, Docker files, podspec.yaml, then .lock variants... Jesus Christ and Moohamed...
You need to be devops just to be a programmer7 -
I'm starting with php on Ubuntu and using xampp. Obviously I been having trouble but when I find the solution for every problem I yell OH MY GOD IM A FUCKING CRACK MOTHERFUCKA
5 -
Whoever made these fucking AIML libs that are unmaintianed for eons should fucking die.
Seriously, I want to make a fucking AI in AIML in Node.js but I can't because none of them ever fucking works
Jesus fuck you fags should go to hell, get your soul forked by Satan and and rot in despair you impregnated wankflaps1 -
<meta-rant>
Jesus DevRant, at least confirm before reporting a rant! Now I feel sorry for reporting something I just wanted to mute...
</meta-rant> -
just read this, wanted to share it:
Jesus at Last Supper:
(breaks bread and gives it to them) Take, this is my body.
(pours wine) Drink, this is my body.
(opens a jar of mayo)...
Judas: I'm gonna stop you right there1 -
Got absolute worse hair style today,
Had long hair with stubble (like Jesus)
Went to saloon and said surprise me , and oh well he did ...
It’s only fair to update the avatar6 -
I swear to god if I spend more money on headphones this year. This time it was my dog that snapped the cord off. I think I will just start using bluetooth headphones now, but if there is no cord I might drop them a lot and they are expensive Oh my god jesus christ fuck me fuckfuckfuckfuckfuuuuuuck1
-
I'm going through my Udemy courses for the hell of it and see if I might even learn some things, started a course I knew would start of way too basic but Jesus Christ, 7 lectures for doing basic player movement and animation... Strap in boys, it's going to be a long ride
-
Jesus with these guys that evangelize the IDE of their choosing. Everyone else is an idiot etc. The fun really only starts when said person gets to a place where he/she can set the rules for every one else.
-
FUCK YOU MICROSOFT
GO FIX YOUR FUCKIN C# METHODS
Language felt good but jesus fuckin christ.
HOW YOUR File.Exists() can be so retarded jesus fuckin christ
I mean god, how retarded can it be when i obtain the current directory with your builtin method (System.Environment.CurrentDirectory) attach to it the directory name with the images i need and I ALWAYS GET FALSE ABOUT ITEMS THAT ARE FUCKIN THERE.
Fix your fuckin encodings too, suckers.6 -
I wish all apps would just stick to the monthly updates in the fashion of Linux kernel, Android, etc. Why the fuck does a mouse driver have to be updated every fucking week? Jesus Christ.3
-
Ooooh MOTHERFUCKER. God fucking dammit. Jesus FUCKING christ. Motherfucking local caching on firefox and chrome. Reload the MOTHERFUCKING PAGE, it's why I pressed CNTRL R you fucking blighted cunts.
Some days I wish I had a brick to toss at the fucking head of the nearest chrome/firefox developer.
Fucking assholes. Eat shit and die alone of cancer fucksticks.7 -
came to the pub for some peice and quiet to read my book and this fucking dumbass boomer is sneezing every fucking goddamn second dude fucking fuck off god just eject me into space what the fuck is wrong with these FUCKING retards jesus christ5
-
i had to write some js and css / html for a small project that i work on Django.
GODDAMIT I FUCKIN HATE IT MY HEAD HURTS WHAT THE FUCK IS THIS SHIT
FUCK IT
LEAVE ME ALONE WITH MY GOD LOVELY PYTHON
OR ANY BACKEND LAGNUAGE(except php of course)
jesus christ i almost threw the goddamn pc out of the window.
fuck front end.11 -
1. Find a function: getDayDiff(d1, d2)
2. d1 and d2 are momentjs dates.
3. See that function performs complex ancient math rituals and then returns an integer
4. Try to rewrite function, return d2.diff(d1, 'days')
5. Should be OK right? Run tests
6. Whole module melts down. WTF?!
Turns out the math performed returned the difference + 1 because it included the current day which moment's diff() function does not (out of the box).
Processes that depended on this function then uses the result like this:
const diff = getDayDiff(d1, d2)
if (diff-1 == should_match) { /* more fun logic */ }
$ git checkout .
$ run-shutdown-script-because-fuck-you2 -
Using Java for the first time for a homework assignment in uni, everything ran properly the first time.
Gonna go buy some lottery tickets.5 -
Jesus I can view 10000 lines of lorem ipsum without a problem but I cannot run 3 longer lines without getting 7fps ?!?!
6 -
Joined a new project. The codebase is… Jesus Christ Vampire Hunter, is there ANY decent project in vue which has an hint of readibility in this damn world?
Every single time anyone talks about vue I roll my eyes “no I swear we managed it well!” 600 lines of code components. Is there even a good way to structure it for big apps?9 -
Unfortunately, due to my recent decision to only connect with people I know, it means I get a lot of those “Do you know this person?” pop-ups when I hit ignore. And because I’m a lyric person, it also means every time I deal with someone I don’t know, my brain goes:
“I don’t know him!”
“Peter, don’t you know what you have saaaaaaid? You’ve gone and cuuuut him dead.” -
I wanna rant about fucking Wayland today. Why the fuck can't I use my Bluetooth headphones in a google meet call! Jesus H Christ!!
At least the camera works! I should learn sign language...7 -
!rant
Jesus, I was away for one day after I posted my previous rant, and my notifications were pretty big.
Thanks ~
I can't imagine those who have more than 100 notifications when they post. tho
PS : It was only 57 notifications. But that's pretty new to me1 -
When I need to ask my boss something...
Jesus... This guy explains you 3 HOURS long on why you need this cable and why you cant use another one, and he wants you to write it down... Every. Single. Word...3 -
I don’t see my myself ever becoming a team lead or PM because I fucking hate meetings. Imagine spending the whole working hours attending meetings! Jesus Fucking Christ!4
-
started to rewrite one of my functional-but-horrible projects. after 2 hours i realize i'm starting to use the same kind of "if it works, great" style.
jesus, i need some sleep. -
Having a vacation in Italy ATM. Walking around Naples, hoping to see beautiful things, but.. So far the only thought spinning in my head is
while(location.contains("Naples"))
System.gc();
Jesus, how can people live in a dump like this. A full GC is loooong overdue!20 -
I've kept training to those dumbfucks how this damn app works... Now they ask for a MANUAL, a fu****g PICTURE BOOK... INCLUDING PICTURES on how to confirm a fu*** email!!! How do you even live without brain at all?! Should i put a picture of a computer in it so these dumbfucks dont type on empty desk... JESUS!!!4
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Jesus Christ, Minecraft source code (with forge in this case) is such a clusterfuck of spaghetti logic. It's especially fun when it uses a lot of reflection and dynamic class lookups...3
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I hate my scrum calls so much. People go into the fucking weeds and the scrum master is so clueless. Doesn't stop them and let people ramble. Jesus christ.
If scrum calls last more than 10 minutes, I think you're doing it wrong.1 -
System Engineer who is adhoc scrummaster got all pissy when us devs did not transition their jira tickets when they merged with develop.
Jesus christ take five minutes, google it and figure out how to do it automatically and while you are add it add the fucking reviewers!
It’s a pain to do it each time!!!!
Fuck!!!!!!!!!!’1 -
Can we have a moment of silence for the jekyll themes that are supported on GitHub?
https://pages.github.com/themes/
Jesus Christ I'm in the graveyard here5 -
So, if I do the work of two people, shouldn't I get two salaries?? Deadweight strikes again. Jesus tittyfucking Christ I'm about on my last nerve.. this guy sits on issues until they're critical, then they get passed to other people. Good for him, bad for everyone who's actually FUCKING WORKING AND EARNING THEIR GODDAMN KEEP REEEEEEEE
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Praise the Jesus/Allah/Buddha/Flying Spaghetti Monster, the newest Visual Studio Code version doesn't require reset after extension installation!1
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"
On content:
Never type something again that you can copy paste!!!
Use your bloody concentration on getting the layout right.
We are not I medieval times and you work on a computer not a stack of paper.
Jesus.
NEVER AGAIN!
"1 -
Shut the quack up!!
Quack you!
For quacks sake!
What the quack?!
Jesus quack!
Good quack!
Ok, scratch the last two.. but others..this might actually work.. o.O6 -
// Start rant
Jesus fucking Christ! Why the fuck does Slack have such a poor support for gifs?! A command? Seriously? What the fuck!
// End rant
How’s your Friday going?2 -
Jesus christ google hurry up and finish work on crostini!
Seem's like every day there is some new news about its development's and im just getting more and more excited! -
AWS documentation and their paid tech support sucks so fucking much. Jesus fucking balls
P.S. Can any of you explain to me how to generate pre-signed url for GET request for CCP transcriptions?5 -
Until the old Dev left this team, I never had to handle any of the website end of things. Now he's gone, I've had to look through his code, and Jesus Christ I didn't know you could be hired to do things without knowing what functions are. It's just long strings of PHP includes.3
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Ha, Microsoft closes my easily reproducible issue with their Monaco editor as 'resolved':
> posted "resolution" is totally wrong, it's not even in the TypeScript typings of their own library or anywhere in the documentation
jesus christ today is not my day
seems like everyone already started chugging the Christmas eggnog, maybe I'd just give up and start do the same1 -
Jesus Fucking Christ can you just guess what the code is doing instead of me feeding it to you like a fucking baby. TRY TO HAVE SOME SORT OF INTUITION DAMNIT I’M TRYING TO HELP YOU SO YOU DON’T LOOK LIKE A DUMBASS.2
-
Java trainer: "...object orientated..."
Jesus Christ! Get it right, pronunciation matters! And you're teaching it to beginners! -
JESUS CHRIST GOOGLE YOU ARE A MULTIBILLION DOLLAR COMPANY HOW THE FUCK IS YOUR WEBSITE DESIGN SO SHIT?
goddamit with the amount of fucking whitespace on YouTube I could fit an entire fucking copy of the website in.4 -
Customer (to me): I was talking to [my coworker] and he said to [generic fix]. I just wanted to let him know it worked!
Me: I'm glad to hear that--I'll be sure to let him know!
Customer: Thanks!
Me (to coworker): That person said your fix worked.
Him (an atheist): Thank Jesus... thank Zombie Jesus!
Me: More like "thank Barry Benson."
Coworker: Who is Barry Benson?
Me: *Googles Barry Benson to show him*
We both cracked up for like a full minute. -
Emacs is the reason why I screw my own agenda for Saturday, but sweet baby Jesus the mode-line now looks H O T for sure1
-
Fuck me my head is detached.
Let me get out the tinker toys to decide what to do next.
Jesus help me.11 -
Urgh why do code generators write the worse fucking code! Jesus$fucking$christ$what$is$your$god$dam$problem$1
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Debugging my resume built with some simple js/jQuery functions
Took 30 minutes
Missing a comma and semicolon I didn't even remove
I didn't know any other appropriate reaction so I just threw up instead -
I keep getting phone calls from what I assume are people in foreign countries using a VoIP service and my public info to get me to apply for jobs that probably don't exist.
I just wanna design/develop cool stuff for the rest of my life but this is aggravating 😑5 -
Ooh this project.. So I was put in charge of creating new pages, and general maintenance as the site was already built by a previous dev on the team before i joined the company. I take a look at the design, fairly strange forward quick analysis most of it bootstrapable, some custom code is needed for some parts so no issues there.
Looks at the code, only the bootstrap grid system is being used, the rest is custom code, an additional 9K lines of CSS and 526 lines of JS. What the hell is this.2 -
Status meetings. Jesus, some people don’t understand the concept of “take your discussion offline”
Yeah, we get it. You have questions... we are not all wasting our time to fix your issues in one meeting.
“Take it the fuck offline” -
Can we please use a goddamn gym and relax and keep our stuff and be given a reason to be alive again ? Jesus
Like even just saying “these women here are working and have been forbidden what the rest get”‘would be a start
Sex is lifeblood and youth extension when it’s fulfilling with many and paired with healthy situations22 -
Thank god somebody already had btrfs fuck up on them.
Horror stories awaiting ! Jesus.
A dd of a live filesystem causing trouble in the clone ? yeah I suppose tis to be expected.
sigh.6 -
I don’t know if they really don’t want Sass or if they’re just scared to try it.
Not all new techs are horrible.
Hope one day they will realize that using CSS preprocessors is way better. And it’s not that as complicated as it sounds. Jesus Christ.
@ pro-CSS frontends, any thoughts?5 -
So of course. Not in the project settings no no. and not in right click settings in the project tab. Otherwise no complaints but jesus. Other than how many times now ? Good Goddamn !
12 -
When your course's interactive code breaks the course runtime environment because of synthetic events and they are still using React < v16
Jesus, this one is a real headscratcher, amazing I never ran into this until today:
https://reactjs.org/docs/...
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I have been looking for a house for a year and Jesus it’s so fucking hard to find a decent rent.
I think I’ll have to buy but I really feel like I shouldn’t given the job situation of every dev ever.
And the most bs thing is that I already own a house wtf. (Just in the wrong place so can’t use that)1 -
Jesus leave the damn tv alone
Everyone needs to torrent goddamn everything ! And make 1000s of paper copies laminated and stored in goddamn boxes everywhere because this is fucking bullshit !6 -
I've spent a day trying to find out what the fuck happened with some code on a server because it seemingly disappeared. Today the client told me the have _more_ servers that they never told me about and most likely it's on one of them. Except they don't have credentials to them. Jesus.
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While I should really actually learn C++ first among other things. I wanted to try and fuck with a really old version of DirectX (8.1) since I had a Win2k machine. I know it's old af,but Jesus how did/does anyone put up with how proprietary Microsoft's shit is.1
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God came into my body, as thd body of a horny demon. My same size. I see jesus in visions naked and he has his penus in hands and rubs and jesus points at me and starts licking me with his long tongue
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Apparently this generations idea of ergonomics is fucking skewed to resemble video game controllers they only get good at via repetition they only get by fucking around.
Instead of a sticking to a known format to operate heavy dangerous machinery
I mean if you have to learn you'll learn but Jesus another point regarding their stupidity
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