Join devRant
Do all the things like
++ or -- rants, post your own rants, comment on others' rants and build your customized dev avatar
Sign Up
Pipeless API
From the creators of devRant, Pipeless lets you power real-time personalized recommendations and activity feeds using a simple API
Learn More
-
I've learned that trying to jump into a project without properly understanding everything it will entail is bad.
I recently worked on a project that involved modernizing a legacy system and no one on the team (including me) fully understood how the legacy system worked. This led to us missing a lot of edge cases and attacking the project in a way that really wasn't beneficial overall.
If we had thought about the entire system beforehand and mapped out the legacy system, the project would've turned out much better.10 -
A Java Development vacancy I came across today:
Requirements:
Must:
° Appropriate Education
° Work Experience with Java/Javascript knowledge, at least 2 years, good understanding of OOP, patterns
° Experience with Spring, NoSQL(MongoDB)
Preferably:
° Experience with Tomcat/Jboss/Glassfish
° JDBC, JSF, JSP, JSTL, Angular, ExtJS
° HTML5, CSS3, XML, Jquery, Bootstrap, Primefaces
° Hibernate
° Git/SVN
Objective:
° Implementation of specific requirements
° Cooperation with business analytics and clarification of reuirements
° Participation in the development of application architecture and technology selection
Who are they hiring?51 -
I am Indian. I thought my parents had high standards then I looked at devrant's requirements for a stress ball.6
-
Was looking at a Back End Dev job posting and one of the requirements is Photoshop.
.....
PHOTOSHOP8 -
Could the Web Developers here tell me which languages other than HTML, CSS and JavaScript should I learn if I want to be a full stack developer? I also know a bit of C#, if anyone is wondering.19
-
Requirements vs Delivery - Guide to Programming
This one is a killer and I've received it in multiple forwards in office email, and we always have a good laugh seeing this joke.
Client: “Our next requirement, and this is something big you know, we need an elephant”
IT Team: But why don’t you adjust with a buffalo, even it is big…. and black?”
Client: No, we need an elephant only, let me explain our current process……” (client explains for an hour)
IT Team: Fine, I understand your requirement. But our system supports only a buffalo…
Client:We need only an elephant!
IT Team: Ok, let me see if I can customize it for you”
Requirements are taken as follows:
Client wants a big black four legged animal, long tail, less hair. Having trunk is mandatory. The same was documented, signed off and sent to offshore for development!
At the Offshore Development Centre,
Design/Development – Based on requirement all features are supported in base product (as buffalo), for trunk alone a separate customization is done.
Finally the customization is shown to client:
2 -
- Password can't contain less than 3 chars
- Password can't contain more than 12 chars
- Password must contain only alphabetical and numerical chars
- Password must contain at least one uppercase letter
- Password can't contain a sequence of repetitive chars
- You already used this password in the past
- Password can't contain parts of passwords already used in the past
- Password can't contain your name, birthday or any other personal information
- Password can't be an anagram
- This password is too weak
"Remember that you have to update your password every 6 months".
Who the fuck has enough imagination to invent a new password that meets all these requirements every fucking 6 months?
And if so, how the fuck you can also remember it?
Fuck off… I don't really need access to my university account, right? 😡22 -
Today i've met a big customer of our company
He was absolute friendly and gave me clear requirements without oppositions...
Then I woke up.5 -
When you see "Database must be encrypted with SHA1 or SHA2" in software requirements specification....
10 -
# Day 0:
Me: "Hey boss, I want to let you know that I need this kind of information from the customer for these features, otherwise I cannot finish the project's milestone in two weeks."
Boss: "OK, just continue as far as you can get. We have to get this finished."
Me: "Well, I cannot go any further for these tickets. I need that input. Shall we leave them in todo?"
Boss: "OK."
# Day 7:
Boss: "Whe didn't you start on these tickets in todo?
Me: "As I have told you, I need some information."
Boss: "We gotta get this out of the door!"
Me: "Yes, if we want to meet the deadline, we should. Yet I cannot guess the feature. Also, let me create a column: `to clarify` and move that ticket there. As I have said: I need that information. You have to contact the customer about it and get their feedback.
Boss: "OK."
# Day 13:
Boss: "Why isn't this project finished? There are still tickets open."
Me: "You never provided the information I asked you about."
Boss: "I want an explanation not an excuses."
Me o_O: "This is the explanation. I was asking you on multiple occasions about the required feedback. You never provided it. See the columns name? It's called `to clarify`. We created it last time together. That clarification never happened even though I told you that I need it. I cannot do magic. I can only implement features, and while I can sometimes make intelligent guesses to their use cases, I rather implement their actual ones than my fictional ones.
Boss: "You should have told me."
Me: ಠ_ಠ9 -
Customer: "Why doesn't the user interface have a night mode?"
Me: It wasn't in the requirements, it also doesn't have bouncing pink elephants, do you want me to add those in as well?9 -
tl;dr stupid clients with their stupid requirements.
Client: (on Monday) hypothetically could you implement "A"?
Me: (on Monday) yeah I could do that by Friday, let me know if you want me to start it.
Client: (on Thursday) hey remember we talked about "A" well do "B" instead and I'll need it by Friday still.
Me: "B" is completely different than "A" and will take probably twice as long.
Client: but you told me you could do it by Friday.
Me: ............ I want to smash your face.4 -
Set up an account at Wells Fargo today and they told me the password requirements... This is a joke right?
12 -
Job Application :
Junior Developer, entry level position for new aspiring programmers.
Requirements :
5 years experience. :/3 -
Just last month we finished a big project for a client. The company had their lawyers make a contract to transfer ownership for the website to them.
One of the requirements was to deliver all code in a word file. And just that. In the whole contract was not a word about transfering the production environment to their servers. Or supplying a working version. The files and database. No just the word file.
As of today still wondering what they where planning to do with a word file with hunderds of pages of code.
Offcourse we deliverd a working version to their servers. But why are there people making decisions about things they understand nothing at all.16 -
You know your product manager is evil when you find this in the official product requirements documents.
7 -
Requirements gathering is fun said no developer!!
P.S. Friday implies more time implies more devranting!!
1 -
Client: "We don't want line breaks in that column make it 500px wide!"
Me: Makes the column 500px wide. Sees that the line breaks are still there. Asks if it should be made wider to fit the text.
Client: "Just implement what we send you"
Me: Ok (thinking wtf)
Client after testing: "Why are there still line breaks?!?"
🙄😥😤😭
Why the actual hell can't they get there freaking requirements in order?!? This shit happens with every fourth request!10 -
Boss: Here's the next project that I would you to start immediately.
Me: So the client wants <Application Name>
Boss: Yes and it's due on Friday after 2 weeks.
Me: Yes can be done. By what time today you can give me the requirements.
Boss: Not today, I will give you the requirements next week Friday.
Me: So I should start the project next week Friday.
Boss: You have to start the project today
Me: Start with what? There is no requirement. Excuse me, I need a break.5 -
Note to self : when a client say "we want to develop 'exact clone' of SomeFuckingBigCompany" - Say NO.3
-
Spending my 23rd birthday in a server room 700 km away from home, discussing the requirements for app deployment. Yep. Every dev's dream.15
-
Why everyone has an idea for an app like UBER? I have received a lot of these requirements this year, and then...
4 -
Started a new job.....
Requirements:
html
css.
jquery
bootstrap
First day:
BAM you have to work on angular🤦♂️7 -
You know the feeling when you deliver exactly what the requirement was and there were no more iterations and changes to those requirements after that??
No..?? Me neither..1 -
Current project has a ridiculously high amount of formal requirements
Two of them literally are
• the system shall have an “off” state
• the system shall be in the “off” state if no power is supplied
Boy do I have just the solution for you!
24 -
So I thought I will set up a PIN to make logging into the corporate PC easier. Hm... based on these requirements I can probably stick with password.
12 -
HR Requirements:
- Must have an active social life with hobbies and interests outside work.
Dev Requirements
- Must have an active GIT hub profile to the point that you couldn't possibly have a social life5 -
Im confused, this is the requirements for a IT Intern. Do I need experience in jQuery? Or QWERTY Keyboard? Or Both?
3 -
Password max length: 12 characters
Additional requirements: exactly 1 special character and exactly 2 numbers.8 -
"PR rejected because you didn't do localisation"
"Wait, is that a requirement?"
"Yes"
"But there is no localisation in any of the 10 repos in this project!"
"Yes"
"So how do I know if I am expected to..."
"You don't, until I reject your PR"4 -
Ticket: Allow merchants to customize how their Wallet Passes look! It’ll be super easy, just add these nine merchant-modifiable strings (they support vars) and use their contents for text instead of what we use now. Simple!
Reality: There need to be 24 strings, there are some rules I can’t convey to the merchant (because the system literally does not include instructions, only a name and a textbox), the code to generate the wallet pass is inefficient, uncommented, branching spaghetti that I’ll need to rewrite (it seriously generates every possible field, and then only uses the ones it needs), the specs are so much worse, and half the default values they want aren’t even possible. As in, I don’t know if it’s a car loan, let alone the exact make and model of the bloody thing.
And no, sorry, we have no way of knowing what their fucking “vertical” is, either, so we can’t display that. Fucking sales.
Asdhkjfsjfads
WHY MUST EVERYTHING SUCK7 -
Company: Hey finish off that degree and we will hire you as a "real developer".
Me: Hey I finished my degree and I applied for that internally posted developer position. How about making me a "real developer" now.
Company: ...
Company: ...
Finally replied today with generic email template thanking me for my interest and applauding me for my skills but sadly informing me I don't meet the requirements for the position.
W.T.F 😡
I think I might be done with this company.11 -
I created account for posting this...
Fuck managers. They gave me requirements 2 weeks back. I completed them and showed them today. Now they (piece of shit) say it's not what they needed. If they aren't sure about requirements why the fuck you give requirements... Fuck...
Waiting for new requirements....1 -
Stop! Changing! The requiremeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeents!
Hadouuuuken!
Shoryuken!
Tiger punch!3 -
IBM job requirements:
- 12+ years kubernetes experience
- kubernetes is 6 years old
IBM, never change cheered me up today
https://theregister.com/2020/07/...4 -
"read the code" he said
"all the requirements and business process is in there"
Knok knok...who is there...................
VB62 -
Dev lead on another team: Ok we can build that API for the mobile apps, we'll generate everything, generate printable images for the labels, persist it all and do all the relevant lookups and checks. Do you need an SLA?
Director: Yes, 9ms
*silence*
Lead: Sorry .... 9ms?
Director: yeah, its a must have
Lead: ... the speed of light wouldn't even let us transmit it that fast18 -
If the requirements are this stringent in the job posting, I can't imagine how terrible it would be to work for this person.
9 -
I hate it when I don't have all the requirements or they are fuzzy and I'm asked to estimate the task/project.5
-
I'd post my wk200 goals, but my project manager is still busy gathering requirements for it and creating the epics.1
-
When job requirements say:
Programming Languages:
CSS
Scrum
Git
jQuery
JSON
...who tf writes these requirements!?9 -
The saga of requirements changed after the feature is done continues:
Manager: “I have reopened your ticket cause it doesn’t fit the requirements”
*checks for requirements changes*
“Updated 2 mins ago”
You fucking piece of10 -
"A well defined problem is a problem half solved."
~ Charles Kettering.
Feel like crying on hearing this when the product feature requirements change in so aGiLe way.3 -
I've seen a job vacancy that asks for the following characteristics in a developer:
- extraverted, do'er (as opposed to thinker), out-of-the-box, curious, sees solutions and not problems, structural thinking vs. theoretical thinking, loves change, acts immediately, makes choices under stress, critically questions themselves if things go wrong
What the [censored] kind of programmer is that? Sounds more like a wannabe brogrammer type.
A typical, real programmer is introverted (for he is introspective, detail-minded and is therefore good at inspecting problems and finding solutions for them).
Seeing problems is not a bad thing, it's in fact necessary to be able to identify issues and not act like your typical manager who only wants to rush to solutions. He thinks deeply and theoretically before he takes action. Theory is the foundation of identifying a problem.
What programmer is stress-resistant? It's not normal for the human brain to be able to deal with stress; this is why switch-tasking is so hard.
Question yourself if things go wrong? Perhaps, but this sounds more like trying to shove the blame around.
Since we live in a rigid computer world with rigidly-defined protocols (say, HTTP), it is often useful to think in a conventional way. Out-of-the-box? Sure, if you're being innovative, or sure, as a tangential characteristic.
In my professional opinion, this vacancy reeks of bad corporate culture.. and the biggest alarm bell I find is: "There is free beer!" Err.. yeah. Anyway.18 -
boss gives me a new task that requires to rewrite quite a lot of the code to accomplish.
me: "it will take some time, I'll have to rewrite x, y, z... and it will require some rigorous testing too..."
boss: "so it'll take you 2 days?" (serious face)
you gotta be f-ing kidding me right?!1 -
"The aim is to develop highly robust data streams so we have the flexibility to build and evolve the user interface without having to change code in the API"
Oh, is that all you need?
4 -
You know how we all get frustrated with new clients who don't provide enough information or detailed background of what the last dev did or tried?
Careful what you wish for. Just took on a new client who has sent 3 separate Word docs, all organized and color coded and fully detailed with the website's life history. All 24 pages of it.
We are supposed to fix the checkout flow and organize the download directory. That's all. -
So, among the ridiculously long list of password requirements, password is not case sensitive BUT it has to contain uppercase and lowercase letters?
17 -
Getting tired of certain co-workers under-delivering. They commit an entire release to one feature and my team plans our release expecting we'll be able to use his changes by the end and then on the last day of development he decides more testing is needed and it won't be finished until next release. Come on, man!
-
As everyone were posting about their interview experiences. Now it's time to understand job requirements properly. 😂
3 -
Isn't it just nice to throw away hours of work because you were given wrong requirements?
I worked late last night to finish a project with an incoming deadline, and for what? That's right, for fucking nothing. Hours wasted. Just because I was told the form was to be submitted to an endpoint that I would receive later on.
Turns out that what I actually need to do is embed some form from a third-party service. So the form that I already implemented (with styles and logic) isn't needed. What's worst, I have to redo all the styles to match this embed form.
Thank you so much for that. 🖕Never again will I work late. I should have known better by now... -
"What do you mean you didn't understand the requirements? They were very straightforward!"
Their requirements:
9 -
Today in annoying customers:
"I will not update the requirements with every single detail of our discussions, it will be quite tedious"
Way to go, lady.3 -
I make a presentation to explain to the boss why we had to tweak around the requirements in order to keep backwards compatibility and stuff. I take 15 minutes explaining how our system currently works and how these requirements would change it, etc etc.
"So... is this workflow okay for our customers?"
They stared into the presentation slide for a good minute.
"I think we should align this row over here with that square over there."
"Oh don't worry this is a demo. But do you think our customers will still be okay with these changes?"
"Yeah, but these two elements are unalligned and they look pretty bad."
I'm starting to think that fancy speech can deter people from questioning or complaining to you. I'm pretty sure they don't know their own product as well as I know it.3 -
The moment when the product manager changes your requirements last minute and you have to change all of your code. 😑1
-
Coming up to (very) tight deadline..
Manager - "Stick in a temporary fix, if the data is mocked out it will do for the demo. We really want to show this feature."
Me - "Okay, I"ll pick up the technical debt after the demo."
*Changes are coded and rolled out*
Manager calls me over to his desk..
Manager - "This feature isn't bringing back real data."
Do these kind of people exist in all companies?
2 -
Dear client:
You have to think this is like building a house, so you have to spend time doing some serious thinking, so you come up with a (somewhat) good vision of what you want and what could possible change in the future... let me give you an example: let's say we were building a house and we are very close to finishing it, so you come up with the great idea of putting the kitchen where the living room is, and the bathroom in the second floor where the TV room was... if that happens, then I would tell you to go fuck yourself.
See dear client... there are pipes, wiring, and all sorts of stuff you don't see, that makes a house be a house... apply the same logic to building software and we'll be on the same page more often.
PS: I appreciate your business2 -
Me asking my boss some deadline information through email: "Should this feature be added ASAP or delayed until the new year"
Him: "Yes"
Which one damnit?!7 -
COO overcommited features to our client so now we have to do overtime until June so that we can save his ass.
Its his fault, why the fuck are we responsible for his incompetence.17 -
QA: “not accepted since text differs from specs.”
Me: “but... the text comes from specs, I copy pasted it yesterday, wtf?”
*checking specs versioning*
Specs updated 1 hour ago
Having to input text from jira to the language strings cause design’s too lazy to do it themselves is stupid enough, but the good old “specs changed after the feature is done” gig is a must... to remember you why you hate working for someone.15 -
Me: What filters would you like on this report?
VP: Here's the logic for the filter I want.
Me: Great! Anything else?
VP: Nope!
... Days of DB, ETL, and Report refactoring later ...
Me: Here's the updated report!
VP: Can we add this other filter?
Me: (You're welcome...) -
Client: "But why isn't it working. It should work"
Dev: "Sorry but it's not in your requirements"
Client: "But it should work"
fffockins 😡1 -
when a project manager asks for an effort calculation due to changed requirements, but the calculation itself takes longer than the implementation would...
-
Long story short: University fucked up single sign on.
For every online service I have, I set a different password, randomly generated ~ 20 characters long. At our university we have multiple systems but they offer a single sign on service which is quite nice because it is so non-transparent which service now uses which authorization. I changed my password a while ago and around the same time they also updated our mail client. Since then I am not able to log in which is not a big deal for me because I have mail forwarding.
Yesterday however I needed another service and also got rejected with my password. I knew from a friend that the passwords are fucked up and that some services have different restrictions (only 12 chars max.), so I decided to search how to reset my password. What the fuck was wrong with these people? It takes you five different pages to get the tiniest bit of information how to reset the password. Then on one page you can login with your single sign on and change the password. On that page you can also set the single sign on password, but if you enter an invalid password (in respect of the the other services) guess what? No feedback that you just locked yourself out of half the systems. Nice job. Also the password requirements are not next to the input fields where you change the password. Noo. That would be way to easy, remember the little small one line on the wall of text three pages ago? There you go.
Ok step one done. Now it should work, shouldn't it? Ohh no not so fast. One needs to activate the seperate service. Where you ask? Perfectly fine question. On the top of page four is a fucking one line table which looks like some five year old had some fun in excel. The button which takes you to the activation page is nearly invisible because of the non existing contrast. Also it is not a button but some arrow pointer thingy. Behind set arrow you have a page listing all differnt kinds of services, the description which you find on page two btw. No padding to decipher this shit what so ever. Nearly on the bottom is your needed button. Yes finally.
Finally I want to login, no good. Try again. Still no good. Go back to the fucked up excel table look at my username and think to myself what's the difference here? The table is so small and again no margin or padding. Apparently they cut of the last character of my normal username which i have which is fucking ridiculous.
What is wrong with you people, we are a TECHNICAL UNIVERSITY, is it so hard for you to find someone decend to unify this shit?1 -
Give students opportunities to create beyond the course requirements. Think hackathons, clubs, department projects, etc. So many cs majors don’t do anything beyond schoolwork.2
-
My Little Pony, season 1 episode 14, "Suited for Success". Rarity wants to make dresses for her friends, but strives too hard to get it just how they really want it. The project becomes a stressing problem when she tries to make each dress specific to its wearer's taste. Each of her clients has requirements that don't necessarily allign with Rarity's vision, so she has to cope with changing demands and finish them before the Galloping Galla.
Rainbow Dash: I just want my dress to be cool.
Rarity: Do you not like the color?
RD: The color's fine, just make it look cooler.
R: Do you not like the shape?
RD: The shape's fine, just make the whole thing, you know, cooler. It needs to be about 20% cooler.
🎵
All we ever want is indecision.
All we really like is what we know.
[...]
Even if you simply have to fudge it,
make sure it stays within our budget.
🎵
Rarity first makes dresses that she herself loves, but her friends don't, and in the end she makes dresses that her friends love, but she doesn't.
I have sympathy for her.12 -
Gotta love it when you've just hit your pace with a project and then the requirements change...
Three times in a row...3 -
Have you ever talk with client and start coding and ui design in your mind while client explaining the requirements?4
-
There's nothing like finishing the build for a 4 month project, send it for testing and then there's change requests that fundamentally change what the fuck you built.
Some days a good bottle of bourbon or 5 are needed. 😤🥃4 -
Websites that still for w/e reason limit the number of characters a password can have...
Seriously, when a website starts bitching about me entering a 32-character password generated by my password manager "being too long", I seriously start to wonder how they store the password...12 -
THICK-HEADED FUCKNUTS!
I have absolutely no idea as to why these would ever be password requirements, can someone please try to explain WHY THE FUCK
5 -
So, I just created an account on a premium objective information website. It basically sells access to several articles on laws and general "financial relevant subjects". It is important for my work and they have pretty strict password requirements, with minimum: 18 characters length, 2 HC, 2 LC, 2 special, 2 numbers.
Without thinking twice, openned Keepass and generated a 64 length password, used it, saved it. All's good. They then unlocked my access and... wrong password. I try again... wrong password.
Thinking to myself: "No, it can't be that, maybe I only copied a portion of the password or something, let me check on CopyQ to see what password I actually used."
Nope, the password is indeed correct.
Copy the first 32 characters of the password, try it... it works...
yeah, they limit password length to 32 characters and do not mention it anywhere ... and allow you to use whatever length you want... "Just truncate it, its fine"1 -
Oh, the requirements completely changed? That's cool. I'll just place all my work over here in this pile with the Sega Saturn, zune, and the batman vs superman movie... you know the "it could have been glorious, but it turned out to be complete garbage" pile
-
How the fuck is CLI a skill for job seekers?! And what's a Toolbox?
Apparently, recruiters write any Buzzwords they hear of! CLI is not even a Buzzword. How did it get there?
5 -
Me: I finished the tests! Almost 1000 lines of testing data. They're actually pretty thorough. We're ready to push the changed.
Manager: That's great! But the requirements changed. We're gonna change the schema and queries quite a bit.1 -
Sometimes I hate when the requirements change in such a way entire projects have to be discarded..3
-
Lately it seems that I end up knowing more about the client's requirements than the client themselves. Does it seem very weird as a developer for this to happen?9
-
So let me get this straight... You want a Junior Engineer with experience?
Source: Moviepass Jobs.
5 -
Client : I want an online store
Me: oh nice, send me your requirements document and a preferred website.
Client: 24hours later, sends me images of the products... wtf11 -
It was 3 months project, but it takes 9... bad management and the client changed his requirements every weekend. I quit the job after it.1
-
Hidden requirements. Hidden requirements EVERYWHERE.
So much for a hobby project for my student association2 -
I've heard about some of the ridiculous requirements that some companies have in job postings and always thought that they're probably over exaggerating a bit.
Holy shit was I wrong.
I've taken a look at the positions that they have posted for my coop program and while I understand that my college was not the only one posted to for these, they seem pretty extreme at times. There were a few postings that required several mountains of web frameworks and experience that unless you did a lot of self study prior or had previous professional work experience would have been impossible.
We're students, a lot of us have never touched an IDE prior to our program so to ask us for in some cases years of experience in a language or tool that I have never even heard of, nor have even been even vaguely mentioned by profs, seems a bit much. I have had years of experience in a fair variety of tools and languages but even for me this seemed a tad bit unreasonable. Not all of the postings require this much prior experience in the field so I can apply to some.
The professor teaching the preparation course says they can't understand why people apply for the coop program then don't apply to positions. While I understand there are people who might not apply due to laziness or an overflow of assignments, I feel like a good chunk just can't find any positions that they may be partially qualified for.3 -
Something I came across recently
"Without requirements or design, programming is the art of adding bugs to an empty text file." -- Louis Srygley1 -
FUUUUUCCCKKKK!!! I WASTED 2 WEEKS ON A PROJECT BECAUSE I COULDN'T GET THE RIGHT SPECS UNTIL THIS MORNING.......
I SPENT THE LAST 2 WEEKS BUILDING AND TRYING TO GET THINGS TO WORK THAT I DON'T NEED....2 -
Monday
pm: anon we need this by Friday I will get send you the requirements.
Tuesday
Pm no show.
Wednesday afternoon
Pm: here are the requirements anon(literally only one sentence) wtf
Thrusday
Pm: can I test it anon.1 -
PO: Is it done yet?
PO: Whats the status?
PO: Any progress??
My brain: Did we have requirements for this, or just a deadline2 -
Film a documentary/reality television series chronicling how A. I.'s eventually self destruct trying to make sense of client requirements.
-
Give me good requirements and a solid deadline.
Vague requirements and an open-ended deadline is a real good way to guarantee I will drag my feet.2 -
Getting really tired of not having requirements or specs detailed out at beginning of project.
I have to decide myself what might be use case while developing
Then 3 months later when it finally gets used I get management asking me why doesn't it do this or that? Uhhh.... You never told me to make it do anything so be happy it does something.7 -
Get a ticket for a low priority bug, reported internally. Fix the issue mentioned in the bug.
Moves to QA environment, the original bug reporter tests and *passes* the ticket.
Moves to Staging environment, same exact individual then *fails* the testing. Cites totally new/unrelated changes that need to be made.
Apparently our the workflow is -
Code->QA->Staging->Requirements
Makes sense! :)1 -
Agile is a fancy word for we, the top Dawgs can change the requirements at any time and you dev peasants will have to deal with it.5
-
When you are trying to gather project requirements from other departments, but nobody responds to email because they are afraid to put anything in writing :(
-
Why would anybody do this?
Especially the last point
aaaaaab is already a lot more secure then 1234 but who cares, right?
8 -
Fucking product owners. Churning out retarded requirements every sprint and then complaining about how the requirements haven’t been met, just to add new retarded requirements the next sprint.
Hot tip, if your product owner is obsessed over apple events, tell the cunt to go buy a new Apple Watch and suck on apples trillion dollar market value. Fucking goofy cunts.3 -
It's gotten to the point where I am legitimately impressed when I can tell a service is hashing their passwords.
All of these unnecessary complications of "must not have more than 2 of the same character in a row" but "can't be more than 12 characters" requirements make me think that the passwords are being saved in plain text.
Amazon and Dropbox do it right - present the user with an input box and no requirements printed anywhere.8 -
That moment when your company switches developers from salary to hourly to avoid paying anyone more and skirts the new federal requirements.7
-
Through a strange series of events, my job has led me to looking at an uncompressed image of atv riders taken in 2004. This career field might be the most full of rabbit holes to go down.3
-
Somehow being able to make perfect sense out of the meaningless and vague requirements pushed down from upper management.
-
Having a complete front end and back end application where the frontend is designed to look as simple as possible.
A new potential customer wants to have our app and listens to a designer bragging that its just replacing 2 fields.
After a while our manager comes by and mentioned that everything needs to be done within a few weeks....
All devs lose their mind since in the backend we need to have like 8 external sources to connect and hundreds of business rules to implement.
How a single designer ruined the year for 7 devs....1 -
Junior dev here.
I'm removing features that are worth days of work because business requirements weren't properly defined with the business owner. Disheartening.3 -
Ah yes, I'd be happy to completely change the thing I'm working on, that is now unrelated to how you originally described the task to me.1
-
My boss uses agile development so he doesn't has to think about use cases he wants to be covered by the application.
He's just throwing in a "design" (an image that is probably created with Paint) without any further specifications and inconsistent elements, let the developer work two days on it, see the outcome, complains why it's not how he wanted it to be and then starts thinking how the feature should be integrated in the app and notices that his "requirements" from the image could not provide any advantage or usage at all for the user of the application. Asking for clarification before starting to work just leads to spongy statements or silence when he notices that he didn't think through to the end.
Sad is that this has not happened only once but is usually the way a new feature is developed...1 -
Describe one instance when you thought, "Fuck this shit, I'm done with this client". Preferably when the client came up with stupid/impossible requirements10
-
When marketing gets overly excited about analytics requirements and you have more code in a page for stats than actual functionality
-
Some user requirements are completely unnecessary that you can lie about them and no one will figure it out ever2
-
!rant
Nothing worse than recieving little to no documentation/requirements on a project, garbage in = garbage out...1 -
During requirements gathering:
Listening.
Writing requirements as stated.
Not designing in my head.
Asking leading questions that validate said faux design. -
*Dev is non-native english speaker
Dev: we need the VPN ip.
Me: the server ip or the connected device ip.
Dev: the server.
Me: gets the ip.
Dev: this doesn't work, is this the VPN ip ?
Me: Gives the device ip. Works.
Dev: OK. Works now.
Could have just asked for the client IP in the first place but s/he didn't know how to.
I have been trying to freelance for people who don't speak english as a first language and getting the Requirements is the hardest part of the job. 😫 .
P.S. Suggestions needed from remote freelancers. What's your workflow like.6 -
Friend: "Heyyy, I want a custom IT solution. Can you make it for me?"
Me: "Okay sure."
Friend: "Heyyy I don't want the program to do it for me, I want to learn it myself."
Me: "What the fuck.. sigh."
I ended up giving them some third-party boilerplate solution and now they're happy. Peasants..1 -
Why is there no VueJS job requirements in my area? It is all about Angular and React. Quite sad my favorite JS Framework is not a favorite here.
Guess I'll be forced to study Angular or React for job requirements purposes only *sigh* 😩 It is like - forced eating the only available food that you don't like in order to survive. Oh well supply and demand.
I haven't seen any VueJS requirements yet in all the job posts that I browsed 😕11 -
Development planning:
Expectation:
Gather the requirements then estimate the deadline.
What are clients did:
Here is the deadline, then here are the requirements that we must squeeze into it.1 -
Does anyone here reject a requirement because there exists no elegant solution to it and you shall die before writing spaghetti code?🤔6
-
Just noticed a job description.
"You have excellent skills in JavaScript, HTML, CSS and backend development with PHP and MySQL. You also have experience developing for iOS and Android."
Are these requirements realistic?3 -
Without requirements or design, programming is the art of adding bugs to an empty text file ;)......!
-
I read alot of rants where people describe that they had to implement things they know were wrong and later the boss complained about it although its what he said.
My requirements engineering professor always told us to document everything. Every change made to the requirements must have the source and the reason written down. Idealy with some sort of signature from the boss.
But i understand its not always that easy or done. Which is kinda sad. -
why the fuck no client underdtands that a native select input cant be styled to show fairies and angels. and the same goes with many other browser elements.1
-
You tell them this design is going to be complex, do we really need it?
They say yes.
We come up with the solution with lots of hair loss.
They say, "this looks really complex, But we are glad you came up with this".
Nuf said.1 -
Getting requirements from my dad for a brochure for his company.
"Just make a pdf, 5-6 pages"
"You can take the pictures from these other two pdfs"
"Write some good sentences"
....
Help me.4 -
Got a pretty epic message yesterday:
"Hi, I just had a friend on phone and we got a rather "simple" idea for a website.
Just a user ID and a password users would pay for. Then they would get access to their videos.
We are willing to pay 350 bucks for a working version and up to 680 depending on the result at the end of the project.
Know anyone that could be interested? Or would you be?
Have a good night. "
Solid.5 -
A customer asks for a change request or a bug fix and it results in creating a ticket for that.
It's the process and how it works in most places but after you finish with the task and fix the same customer who provided you with the requirements will request that you share the steps on how to test the fix or the feature.
I'm not speaking about the data preparation or required configuration. I mean a step-by-step instruction on how the tester/QA will test it.
It's driving me mad!! So a way to counterplay this stupid requests, I provide the happy path and what to expect. And in case, they stumbled on a bug later in production, I can easily say "It was approved by your testing team and that's a new requirement ;)"2 -
If you apply for a job advertising 35,000-45,000 and get offered 26,000 how would you handle it? If you meet the requirements and pass there test.17
-
5k lines of code and some long days in and it turns out UI and I (backend) had an oopsie in our communication so it was all for nothing. Back to 0😖4
-
Story of my life:
1. Complete project to 90+%
2. Add that "one last feature"
3. Hit unresolved bug buried deep in one of the project's core requirements. -
When you're the only one in your team understanding git and knowing all the requirements: haven't programmed for weeks, just fixed branches and answered questions -.-
-
I hate when they give new people that don't know the software the job to update requirements. We used to have 2 use cases that touched a functionality. Now we have three. The requirement was added for the third case. He held us up bitching that that the newly added requirement for Case 3 didn't include Case 1 and 2. Dude. That shit has been in the software for 4 years. Those requirements were written by requirements guys that are better than you. Don't waste my time with semantics. Only I'm allowed to waste my time on semantics.
-
Why are the requirements changed at the end of the day and make the developers work all night. I am not your goat.2
-
-Me lvl22
-Writing engineering thesis
-Have two W10's, because of requirements for HoloLens emulator
-Turn off computer
-Run it again and bootloader doesn't loading
-Heart attack guaranteed3 -
An application which can read your requirements documentation and use GitHub README's to seamlessly integrate different projects to give you the output. 😎
-
Today is day two of User Acceptance Testing for one of our biggest and most complicated developments.
Today is also the day the requirements were agreed.
Somebody, somewhere is taking the piss. -
The moment of decision whether to hardcode something or keep it dynamic ...cause knowing your clients ...they're definately gonna come back with more requirements
-
Glad that I've worked about 2½ days on an angular component, with all the struggles, brainstorming and meticulous care for "good" and "readable" code, just to find out that I misunderstood the requirements. Had to completely rewrite it...1
-
I would have liked to complete a task this week, however the one thing I've been working on has it's requirements changed every time I finish.
I get that things change, but all of this extra logic is far too complex for the issue at hand, and I don't have time to do other assigned things due to how laborious and intensive testing for this part of the application is. -
Job requirement:
> Have been on a career break for a minimum of 6 months
???
What kind of fuckery is this?3 -
I never thought I'd have to implement Vue.js but now I have to write components in it all of a sudden. I find myself struggling and I wish I had practiced it sooner. Now I find myself in a sea of debugging npm package errors and other cryptic errors and my pages not showing up.
Ah, Software Development, your requirements always change.6 -
Systems guy: this is how you slow down development projects. By tying design to a software development ticket.
Software guy: yeah but that's how you get reminded to do the work and tie a design requirement to the software development effort in the ticket.
Systems: why do I need to be reminded of my design work?
Me: because you're a year behind software and at this point you are just documenting what software has already done?
Sometimes I feel like the design guys don't understand that if they want to be involved in the process they need to NOT keep us waiting until right up against the deadline to give us the design. -
Break it down into stages- elaborating on requirements, frontend/backend work, testing, etc. Then pull the numbers out of my arse.
-
Clients and their ever changing requirements!
When will they learn to fully explain what they want and commit to those features 😪2 -
On all job descriptions there seem to be so many requirements. Do you really have to know everything in order to get the job?2
-
I was planning to buy a new laptop.. any suggestion...
requirements:
i7 7th gen
16gb ram
1tb storage
OS anything other than windows.
good to have:
128gb ssd14 -
The worst is having to rewrite/refactor another person's implementation either due to not follow the requirements or specifications and having made something completely different or useless.
But recently is having to re-explain what needs to be done or what the requirements are.2 -
When the project manager complained about how you are late for the deadline, but the keep on adding on new requirements unrelated to the initial goal. OTL
-
Changing instances to arrays. So we've all had this issue:
Option 1 was the most flexible and abstract option where a lot of functionality could be built on this.
Option 2 was the fastest solution, that would solve only specific problems.
The whole Agile philosophy points to option 2. The problem is that clients will always want to add that functionality in option 1, and changing requirements makes us lose time, the precious resource that managers supposedly cherish, yet they always want us to choose the fast option.
We're at that point where the client wants to add functionalities, but since we already built with the previous requirements in mind. Ugh.
Changing instances to arrays.1 -
When you code for a long time nonstop, say 2hrs+, do you remember exactly what you did, other then it now works and meets all the requirements?3
-
Hi I’m new here. It’s so weird. Like employers have insanely high requirements and demand knowledge of different frameworks as well.1
-
Motherfuck oh clients! My goodness their requirements.
They want a tiny part of an app load inside an iframe in a different app and have the data communicate both ways and the ui should look seamless and mobile responsive too.
What the actual fuck? iframe in 2016 ? Seriously?5 -
Is disaster recovery capability to meet business requirements and testing it part of your new system implementation roadmap?
-
Question to all those who have worked with software architecture: What is your approach when implementing architecture and design into actual software?
I find it very hard to translate UML diagrams and architectural requirements into working code and I feel like there is quite a big "gap" between the two. How to you breach that gap and manage to maintain a clean and comprehensive architecture in your project folders?11 -
Working on implementing a new networking layer for business security requirements...but the requirements were talked about in backdoor "special" meetings; "lowly" implementation engineers aren't allowed in. God knows the engineers implementing the solution don't need to know requirements for what they are implementing 🙃
"Just encrypt everything!"
Oh sure let me just pull out my magic button 🤬2 -
When you get tickets assigned to you, does it have all the requirements & acceptance criteria? I don't, and it's seriously difficult to know when you've finished a piece for work3
-
Life would be a lot better if the client's requirements won't change abruptly on the last minute of deployment
-
Gosh, how I hate meetings at the beginning of the sprint... and at the middle... and in the end! Just fucking give me the requirements!4
-
Can someone plz tell me that are subjects like OOAD(object oriented analysis and design) or requirements engineering actually useful in real projects and jobs...?3
-
School software development project in a nutshell:
You will need to gather the requirements from us by ways of an interview, built the documentation for it, we'll sign it and that's what you have to build.
...
We were supposed to get that signature 3 weeks ago, but they decided to not sign yet because they want to make late changes to the project whenever they want, yet we have to finish the build of this in 7 weeks... Seriously? That's what we have to work with.
Any working devs that recognize this situation at work and not at school?3 -
Stop staying “.... or whatever” or “pull blah, blah, blah” when discussing requirements. What you say, we will build. If you honestly don’t care what we build then let us end this call and we can make it up.1
-
just read about Zeno's paradox and realized, this is our life!!
The client sets requirements, we code them within n time. by the time we finish it, the client sets new requirements. so we code them again, but by the time we finish it, more requirements are set.
will we ever be able to finish it all? that is the paradox.
https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/...1 -
Start coding a project for version 7.x, everything works in tests. Deploy it on the server and it doesn't work. Checks version and turns out it is 6.x, ask my manager why didn't he tell me before, he goes like so what, do it for all versions.
I go wtf -
Just finished my first and only software engineering course. God if I majored in this I may have actually died of boredom. How do you guys deal?3
-
When the project manager decides to change the ux of a project with out informing you and your half way through with original requirements.
-
When the business tries to tell you how you should code the project when they know nothing about coding let alone the actual requirements.1
-
Writing requirements for an university project. I am boring! I want to code. But it should be done :(3
-
The A.I. will still be decades away from being able to communicate with users. I will translate user's requirements to the A.I.
-
TLDR, need suggestions for a small team, ALM, or at least Requirements, Issue and test case tracking.
Okay my team needs some advice.
Soo the powers at be a year ago or so decided to move our requirement tracking process, test case and issue tracking from word, excel and Visio. To an ALM.. they choice Siemens Polarion for whatever reason assuming because of team center some divisions use it..
Ohhh and by the way we’ve been all engineering shit perfectly fine with the process we had with word, excel and Visio.. it wasn’t any extra work, because we needed to make those documents regardless, and it’s far easier to write the shit in the raw format than fuck around with the Mouse and all the config fields on some web app.
ANYWAY before anyone asks or suggests a process to match the tool, here’s some back ground info. We are a team of about 10-15. Split between mech, elec, and software with more on mech or elec side.
But regardless, for each project there is only 1 engineer of each concentration working on the project. So one mech, one elec and one software per project/product. Which doesn’t seem like a lot but it works out perfectly actually. (Although that might be a surprise for the most of you)..
ANYWAY... it’s kinda self managed, we have a manger that that directs the project and what features when, during development and pre release.
The issue is we hired a guy for requirements/ Polarion secretary (DevOps) claims to be the expert.. Polarion is taking too long too slow and too much config....
We want to switch, but don’t know what to. We don’t wanna create more work for us. We do peer reviews across the entire team. I think we are Sudo agile /scrum but not structured.
I like jira but it’s not great for true requirements... we get PDFs from oems and converting to word for any ALM sucks.. we use helix QAC for Misra compliance so part of me wants to use helix ALM... Polarion does not support us unless we pay thousands for “support package” I just don’t see the value added. Especially when our “DevOps” secretary is sub par.. plus I don’t believe in DevOps.. no value added for someone who can’t engineer only sudo direct. Hell we almost wanna use our interns for requirements tracking/ record keeping. We as the engineers know what todo and have been doing shit the old way for decades without issues...
Need suggestions for small team per project.. 1softwar 1elec 1mech... but large team over all across many projects.
Sorry for the long rant.. at the bar .. kinda drunk ranting tbh but do need opinions... -
Why user requirements are ever so uncleare defined that there are a new Button Color or a complete ui redesign a possiblity 😤1
-
SQA here.
What do you even do when dev, other senior QA, your boss and management all give conflicting requirements for a big milestone planning while still ramping up?
My instinct tells me to do what my boss and dev tells me and to come up with the solution that makes the most sense.
No we don't have a product owner ffs. It's like a bizarre waterfall scheme. I have figure out this on my own and hope I made no big mistakes because the ones with the knowledge are unavailable to help. Been thrown in this shit and it's been 3 months I work here. I am honestly trying my best to filter the best out of this.4 -
This currently project I'm working on is taking a turn for the worse. I keep finding missing features from the designs, but then also the project manager remembered that there were these other requirements that were needed. She only remembered after I raised an issue about another problem because NOTHING has been written down. A wireframe is NOT a fucking requirements document.
So now I have to refactor 2 major components just to include this sudden new requirement. I really hope I don't work with this project manager ever again on any future projects. -
Ok, so i got an epic requirement from business.
Business wants to implement something like this. On a save click this popup should be opened with further 2 options "Save" and "Save As" having radio button in front of each button to enable and disable the buttons and input boxes and obviously error/success message should be
displayed according to the option selected.
Team denied to work on the requirement.
5 -
We go to see a customer for a small project, probably 1/2 month dev and few thousand $, basically a small member page for a small local club.
"We want something exactly like this" he says. He opens the browser, logs in Linkedin, I wait.
"Something like this" he repeats.
I finally understand.
Well - I say- Login page and profile picture upload, yes we can do it...2 -
Cordova: "Requirements check failed for JDK version (requires 1.8.0 or greater)"
Also Cordova: "Detected version: 11.0.2" -
The part with those goddamn change requests on top of the requirements that were never fucking stated correctly in the first place.
Hate that part, because the customer is always right!
Always right, my ass. Fucking asshole dickheads. -
Don't you hate the subjectiveness of functional requirements and no functional requirements? I'm the only one?
-
what linux distro should i try next?
requirements:
- cool
- good design
- comes with typical software and wine
- apt not yum
i was thinking elementary, zorin or kali21 -
developers and product owners talk two completely different languages...
that'ws one thing, but when they not are answering my emails about elaborate their requirements...
that makes me frustrated! -
A friend outsourced a project to us with partial requirements. We developed it as per the requirements and submitted the app and admin portal to his client. I was aware of certain critical features missing in the requirement. Generally we provide an admin portal to manage the backend of the app, but in this project a backend was to be made but the adding or modifying users section was not mentioned in the requirement. My team presented the project and convinced them to create or modify users writing SQL queries on the production DB (they are sales guys with no technical knowledge)
P.S - we won't be responsible for any DB errors :P -
What are the minimum PC specs you feel comfortable with for development? Of course app development and anything medium sized and up with an IDE needs decent specs, but I'm wondering about the lower end of the spectrum. Scripting things and such.2
-
New year resolution was to be a better person (or at least nicer) but here it goes.
Monday rant: State your fucking requirements when requesting something as "This is not what I was expecting" is not acceptable.
I do code for living I don't read mind nor have a crystal ball on my desk telling me "...what you meant..." -
That feeling when you accept a simple project and when you almost done the client requirements escalate quickly. *crying*
-
client: I'd like to see this and that on this page.
co-developer: but those aren't in the requirement!
me: #facepalm thinking, "Who hired this guy?"6
Top Tags
Weekly Rant
View