Gillette Excel

alias wow="git status"
alias such="git"
alias very="git"

Result:

$ wow
$ such commit
$ very push

Dev: Microsoft is shit

VS Code: (ಥ⌣ಥ)

Dev: Oh not you dear! You're not like the other guys

VS Code: (｡◕‿◕｡)

I didn’t want to wait for the adapter to come in…

haha this is funny

Giving instructions to Git and ending with

"Did you Git it?"

I hate programming
I hate programming
I hate programming
It works!
I love programming
🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣

I've turned 24 years old and it was given to me this amazing cake at the party, could it get any better?

New ultra fast sorting algorithm!

"Knock Knock"

"Who's there?" 

"Knock Knock"

"Who's there?" 

"Knock Knock"

"Who's there?" 

- DoS Attack

!rant

I made devRant pancakes!
yummy

My grandma saw me programming for one whole day and she started to rant.

Grandma: "She's been sitting all day infront of her computer doing computer stuff! Electricity bill's getting higher!"
Mum: "Well at least she's not out late at night getting drunk and partying!"
Grandma: "Computer girl"

My internet got cut for one night. I had supper with the family. They are actually nice people.

Worst part of being a dev?
Unanswered stackoverflow question that exactly matches your problem

Worst way to experience a hackathon? Not having the computer you really need.

Me and my girlfriend's pillow talk about memory leaks

Me: **... So garbage collection is a means to stopping a memory leak from occuring
Gf: what 's a memory leak ?
Me: a memory leak is like when you want a pizza, and the guy gives you pizza. But you don't eat the pizza and you ask for another pizza. You keep doing this repeatedly. Until the pizza guy realizes what you're doing and decides to kill you. He then takes back all his pizzas
Gf: why would you do that though?
Me: Lazy ass programmers who don't clean up after themselves.

Everyday i used to spend an hour in the morning reading emails.

Until i made a script that reads all mails, parses to urgent/priorities/meetings etc. Then shows me a dashboard of everything. 1 hr turned to 20mins max.

Then i made a chatbot out of it and now i just talk to it everytime and gives me the rundown.

Gave me so much time to code instead of reading fucking emails.