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"Knock Knock"
"Who's there?"
"Knock Knock"
"Who's there?"
"Knock Knock"
"Who's there?"
- DoS Attack17 -
"hey there is this bug, could you fix it?"
me: sure whats the bug?
*explains the bug*
me:... thats.... thats your feature request from last week8 -
Knock.
Knock.
Knock knock.
Knock knock knock.
Knock knock knock knock knock.
Who's there?
Fibonacci.5 -
1 minute of Thread.sleep() for Tum, the best cat ever. Rest in peace, your memory will live on in my devrant avatar.
19 -
Was originally hired for 3 months.
Just finished the project 2 weeks ago, after 1.5 years.
I fucking hate data science now.8 -
Dear people of Subway, just because i am using cmd, it doesnt mean i am
"Hacking your wifi network" and asking me to stop is rather unneccessary25 -
My linkedin: "please dont contact me about javascript work"
Every recruiter on linkedin: "hold my beer"7 -
Another story on the spirit of wk93. TL;DR I DOS'd the whole campus network for some beers.
In highschool teachers had this blackboard system (a sort of moodle) and we used to have really lazy teachers who only read the PowerPoint presentations and made us take notes. One day I was fed up with their bullshit and figured these lazy ass professors wouldn't "teach" crap as soon as there was no internet connection...so the race was on...
10 minutes before the bell rang a friend and I managed to break in into a computer lab, I booted up Kali and searched for the access points, 3 routers through the building all with CISCO OS.
I figured they had all the default configs, time was running out so I decided to Smurf the three access points with the lab's IP range, scheduled an automatic shutdown in 2 hours and blocked the PC. The bell rang and as predicted, no internet, no class, my friends and I used that free time to go to a bar (on a Monday afternoon).
Funny side note, since the 3 routers were down the whole network collapsed, no cameras, no access control, no faculty network or any network. We kept doing it and every time we did campus security would be desperately searching for someone with a black hoodie.
7 -
Sometimes the best "bug" are the troll posts, although personally I agree with it (even though a separate byte for both \r and \n make sense to keep for other purposes).
8 -
How to install vim in Linux:
1. Download gvim80.exe
2. Install Wine
3. wine gvim80.exe
( Follow installation instructions. Keep on
clicking next)
4. Download DosBox.exe
5. wine DosBox.exe
6. MOUNT F /path/to/wine/vim
(Mount vim installation directory)
7. vim.exe
8. Enjoy the latest vim :)15 -
Just got an email that i dodnt get a job.
But guys... Your 'selection process' took a month. A literal month. I already got an other job 2 weeks ago.4 -
*finally upgrades my personal website from a plain html link collection*
*sends it to dev friends' telegram group*
*receives negative reviews for the color palette*
I... I tend to forget that im colorblind5 -
Oh no microsoft is gonna buy github!
Just like they bought xamarin and turned it from a buggy piece of shit into something borderline useful?
Just like they funded canonical so ubuntu could become a distro what any person can use as easily as windows because they had money to actually hire people?
Just like they bought mojang and invested billions in an education platform?
Oh boy whatever will we do...16 -
me, sitting @ college, soldering together a charging cable
someone: oh wow you can do this stuff? i thought you were a computer scientist, not an engineer
me:...
me: yeah i need an engineering degree to wrap duct tape around cables7 -
I use my mouse on 4k dpi and today someone asked me how do i move the cursor without moving the mouse5
-
"Java is slow"
If that is the only reason you can come up with when i ask you why dou you think java is bad, im going to assume youre either a fucking shit programmer or live in the 90s.47 -
In a nutshell, i severely underestimated myself, applied to a bunch of places and now they all want to hire me. Oh well.11
-
>me on stackoverflow
>a nice question
>i provide a 3 line code with explanation
>comment: 'doesnt work, throws exception'
>i run the code and provide a screenshot that it works
>'doesnt work for me'
>19 line code gets accepted
10/10, would answer again5 -
Stallman heart failure recipe:
1. Start your UBUNTU LINUX(don't add the GNU part) and set up your .NET Core environment.
2. Download VS Code, the superior text editor for those that do not wish to have carpal tunnel.
3. Open the terminal inside your VS Code instance while inside a .net core project.
4. Type emacs -nw and watch emacs come to life inside of the terminal while living inside of the heretic vs code editor.
Wait for stallman to get a heart attack or a stroke from this.13 -
Me: cool, i organized all my exams to be the most effective, if i study now, i can relax for a few weeks before i have to move.
Interesting side project: hi3 -
Finally i had an idea for a personal project.
I sat down, started sketching up the classes i'd use.
3 hours later, im finished.
Now i have no personal prjects running and im bored again.11 -
New years eve plans:
Partying with friends ✖
Getting wasted ✖
Shooting fireworks ✖
Reading godot documentation ✔7 -
open telegram
'hey guys i have a cool idea for a project'
"yeah thats a neat idea lets do it"
we get drunk on the first meeting and completely forget about the project5 -
Please learn the fucking difference between a text editor and an IDE. I dont give a shit aboyt your super duper complex vim package manager supreme deluxe edition ITS STILL A DAMN TEXT EDITOR YOU FUCK.16
-
I started coding in 1994 making .BAT menus for my DOS games. Used HELP.EXE to find commands I could use. Then I figured out how to modify and run GORILLA.BAS (using Q-Basic). Man, when I realized that all BASIC commands were in the OS documentation as well, that was the Red Pill! Just started to copy commands and blocks from the Gorillas game into a new program, read the doc, modify, run and learn. Btw, the first BASIC command I played with was "PLAY" (for music).
At that time I was 10 and there was no Stackoverflow, no Youtube, no tutorials, no Google... no easy path to follow down the rabbit hole.
Ref: https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/...
10 -
Me visiting home for easter:
Me: tries to find some good assets for adventurejam
Me: fixes a bug on the prodserver
Me: redesigns a gui of an app
Me: applies for a bunch of new jobs
Mom: "you are always computer-ing, do something productive"3 -
So there is this thing @ the office that everyone has to bake 50 pancakes once.
Its 2 am, i just got done, i cant cook to save my life.
Guess what.
Its 49.8 -
Oh hey i should go to sleep early and work out in the morning.
Or i could implement those new features for my library ive been thinking about.
Or i could polish up some of my older sites.
....or i could stay up till 3am, reading subtly gay korean comics.4 -
When you are working on a feature and someone else is working on the same thing and you commit at the same time and now you have to resolve conflicts but both versions work
2 -
can you put this on the right side when someone scrolls?
*sends a gif of a caterpillar running at 3 fps with sparkles everywhere*5 -
I will disregard the fact that our target platform is windows, so sure, newly hired intern, go ahead and use linux if you want, it doesnt really matter.
After that he accomplished 1 day's work in a week because he was googling how to set up linux environments
CHOOSE THE TOOL FOR THE FUCKING JOB YOU DIMWIT9 -
me: yo, im kinda low on cash right now, i should save some money and not do any iot projects this month
also me: yo, look at those nfc chips, i got an idea1 -
if you ever feel bad or useless about your ability as a programmer, just remember that this is the kinda code i write when im tired
13 -
My friend introduced me to rick&morty.
My weekend mostly consisted of me getting schwifty®.
Instead of getting work done.4 -
My dad's old MS-DOS computer (can't remember specs) when I was 5 or 6 years old. This got me into gaming. I always had to ask him to execute the games I wanted to play cause I didn't know how to do it. One of the first games I ever played was Wolfenstein 3D. Was so scary I didn't want to exit the first room :D
4 -
Me, going on a vacation
"Fuck yeah, finally a break, beach, grill, nice. Im not bringing my laptop, theres no way im touching any code."
Me, 10 minutes after i got on the bus
"Oh, i figured out whys that one thing not working, let me just get my lapt...shit"6 -
you might think that windows updates are painful but this piece of shit has been like this for an hour JUST LET ME FUCKING DEPLOY
14 -
Lets assume my name is Levi Secondname (half of it is correct)
at my last workplace there was a guy with the same name, in the same office, except he was an ios dev, so when i ordered food i always put 'Android Levi' as the name, otherwise it would get mixed up3 -
I'm doing a migration where I have to move like 200+ old-old websites. Stuff was never touched for ages and we kinda moved it 'into the cloud' now.
So after a few sites I check graylog (where all the logs are stored) and I saw this gem:
stderr: PHP message: PHP Warning: file_get_contents(http://tinyurl.com/api-create.php/... Online Viagra/): failed to open stream: HTTP request failed! HTTP/1.1 400 Bad Request
And I was like, wtf? Is this site hacked?
Ok the sadness starts now. Behold the following:
function getTinyUrl($url) {
$tinyurl = file_get_contents("http://tinyurl.com/api-create.php/...);
return $tinyurl;
}
This function gets executed for the current link AND every dynamic href on the page.. EVERY pageload.
I was not even mad.
3 -
This will always hold a special place in my heart.. Makes me so nostalgic every time. It's what got me into computers
8 -
I have reached the point where my main project with my arduino collection is building a sex robot and i dont even feel the least bit ashamed about it.10
-
full stack web development in 2017: mvvm model, api for backend, parsing on frontend
me: <?php echo "<div>hello".$name."</div>" ?>9 -
Insomnia: yeah, nice cors header
Postman: neat cors header mate
Fetch in browser: where the FUCK is the cors header you retard7 -
Dude from old job who treated me like shit messaged me to implement 2 new features. I quit like half a year ago now. Ok i guess.6
-
Okay so
Client asks for a bunch of data what can be easily calculated with excel. I think to myself, yeah, ill not fuck around adding numbers 1by1, ill just use excel.
Client wants a program, says he likes having a program do stuff. Mind you, this isnt an universal program at all, it just has to work for this specific input file.
Me: packages the original excel file into a jar and makes it unpackage when run.
Client: is happy
Me: ??? -
Seeing this new icon makes me want to go back to 2008 with the shopping bag icon. Those were better days.
11 -
Me, whenever i work with something other than java: "Wow, this could be done so much easier with java"17
-
"Server deployment is automated from git, so dont merge things into the master branch without permission"
Oh ok
>i create new branch
>push unfinished code because i gotta hurry
>server breaks
Well golly gee seems like you did a shit job at automating7 -
I wrote a web crawler to find a few problems on my company's blog. I accidentally DOS'd the peice of shit with a single thread. Fuck WordPress.3
-
We were having a conversation with a bunch of friends and somehow i came up with this
Ps, the data is valid
12 -
Its been a few hours, and i was busy with meetings but
THANK Y'ALL FOR 10K ++
I remember wk20something, when i joined devrant. I was just starting a job as a data analyst, and the wk at that time spoke to me on a personal level, so i wrote a quick rant and didnt give it much thought. The next day i opened devrant and had like 100++s and a bunch of comments. Since then ive met a lot of awesome people here and im happy i clicked the install button back then. Thanks cfox and brogus for the opportunity, love ya.
Already got a longboard as a 10k-day gift :^)2 -
Ilove wordpress, its small, fast and easily configurable and very enjoyable to work with and maintain.
I also like pineapple on my pizza, stubbing my toe and getting ran over by a truck.11 -
Best: built an app that helps me with my colorblindness, also i contributed to a game engine ive been using a lot
Worst: had to use c++ for a project8 -
Dear Windows users: instead of upgrade to Windows 10, why don't you downgrade to Dos? It appears to have less issues.7
-
Haha this happened to me once! But it took me a week to figure it out and after re-writing the code and hours upon hours of googling
2 -
I was talking with a guy who is making an android app for his thesis but hes "shitdamn awful in java". I offered to help because im so fucking nice.
"oh but i dont have facebook, is it a problem?"
Nah sure i dont use facebook anyways, got telegram?
"No"
Riot? Irc?
"Nope"
Then what do you use???
"Skype"
?!!?!??!??!!???!??!7 -
A man walks into a bar and asks for a beer. The bartender says "okay but only if you tell me a meta joke". So the man says a man walks into a bar and asks for a beer. The bartender says "okay but only if you tell me a meta joke". So the man says a man walks into a bar and asks for a beer. The bartender gives him a beer. The bartender gives him a beer. The bartender gives him a beer.2
-
To all of you who push their OS preferences like door-to-door religious zealots: I wish you stuck on your least-liked platform for the rest of your days.
I'll also throw in a side of providing tech support to the incompetent.
Fuck your lot.14 -
Well im slowly getting there, but i still dont understand why does my wife want me to make her cam...
8 -
So there is this programming competition i regularly enter. I dont give a shit about the competition part, its just fun to make something in a limited time. This year, i was kinda hyped that i threw together a modern stack, with Java Spark and VueJS, that would be really cool to use.
Today we got the requirements.
Php and jquery.
Well fuck me for living in 2017 apparently.1 -
Hey im a fullstack DEVELOPER, not a fullstack DESIGNER, so dont fucking ask a colorblind person to 'just throw a simple design together, it shouldnt take more than 10 minutes'3
-
Ages ago, it was still in the last millenium which will not end soon at that point of tine, I had a 10MB HDD in my first computer. It was a gift and second hand, and DOS 3.2 was installed on it, and my younger self, unable to talk or write english, had that cool game on it (Pitfall, if I remember correctly). But that game was not enough, so I tried to enter all the filenames in all the folders to find other games on that machine. Some commands were ther which I have not understand correctly, and one of them was 'format'. Typed in 'format' and pressed enter, an error message appears that I have to enter a drive letter as argument. Because I had known only A: for the floppy drive and C: for the HDD i tried at first with the floppy. Nothing happens, vecause there was no disk in the drive. Then I entered C: ...
Poof, everything deleted...
I was unable to setup that pc again and my so beloved game was gone also.. still sad about it, because that machine would be a real treasure today but it is gone a long time ago.1 -
That moment when you realize you're using a Hackintosh with VirtualBox and a CF card to install a Beta version of MS-DOS with DOS SHELL that your brother found on an old BBS forum; on an IBM 5150 from 1981.
-
"best [distro/ide/laptop/buttplug] for web development?"
So you are.... You are basically asking whats the best for editing text files?12 -
I really wish i was a good designer. Id love to put together attractive frontends with cool and unique ideas.
I also wish i wasnt colorblind.3 -
hey buddy mate pal friend bro nacho
IF YOU FINISH A TASK NOT ASSIGNED TO YOU THEN FUCKING ASSIGN IT TO YOURSELF SO WE DONT WAIT FOR SOMEONE TO DO WHAT YOUVE ALREADY DONE6 -
Friend: 'im really anxious, i need a job this summer and i dont know if i can find one with my stack'
Me:'why, whats your stack?'
Friend:'php, mysql, javascript'
Me:'...DUDE'6 -
Me, 2 months ago: "This stack is such an overhead and unneccesarily complicated. The app could be made in like a week with jsp and jquery."
Other guy, 2 months ago: "No, we use Spring and angular2, and these 7 test/automation tools"
Other guy now: "We are nowhere, we havent even completed sprint1"
Me:
3 -
Xamarin.forms. True multiplatform* by Microsoft.
*you just have to make sure not to use any of the platform specific features, or write 3 completely different codes11 -
If i wanted to spend weeks analyzing systems instead of writing them, id have gotten my diploma for fucks sake.1
-
I just found a new WhatsApp Crash Exploit. Full denial of service right there. An attacker could send a message to a Chat (be it private Chat or group Chat) and everyone who receives the message has no chance of starting WhatsApp again. It crashes and won't restart.
Tested on latest version on Samsung Galaxy S6 and S8. Don't know if it works on other versions but I am pretty sure it does. (It's midnight here, noone online to test)
The fun thing is, I knew this Bug for a long time but when I last tested it, nothing happened. Which means this Crash is only possible because someone at WhatsApp programmed a new Feature...21 -
Everytime i see someone listing a shitload of languages, i safely assume that they speak around 2-3 of them fluently. I did some c++ and can write a site in php but they are nowhere near my java knowledge, so i only list them as something i played around with. There is just no way you are fluent in c++, java and javascript because they take half a lifetime to master individually7
-
I just got a bugreport for an ages old release of a software which was assumed finished. Problem is, i couldnt find the source anywhere.
"hey, could you send me the file so i can check the bug?"
*sends jar file*
"yay im saved"
thanks java, for being easily disassembled 👌😍1 -
Bind learning c++ chapter 3
Fuck whoever says that java is easier than c++. If i populate memory i can just fucking clean it out. I have access to the literal fucking stack my code runs on. I can integrate assembly. I can fucking make my program run in -3 seconds for fucks sake, this is so much easier than java where i have to fuck around with scopes to nudge the gc to start cleaning up and i need a separate engine to access jasm code.9 -
Rantberry PI
Thinking about making this into a terminal that accepts a serial connection from my IBM 5150 PC for that Chroma Green authentic text based experience. ;)
Seriously though. How awesome would it be to use a circa 1981 IBM 5150 as your terminal? Lol!
1 -
*reverts a layout file to the one in git*
*gradle fails, no components found, electricity goes off, office catches fire, the world ends*4 -
[wk200]
Ordered a set of copic markers, they should be here tomorrow. At least this quarantine crap gives me time to draw again after 5 years.4 -
Sent a cv to a company because facebook threw their ad at my face and i said why not. They emailed me that they would call me today. I dont have a phone. Its not fucking 2007. Call me on matrix or telegram or even skype ffs.19
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Wanted to do a 1 hour coding challenge. Thought "hey why not use js this time". 3 hours later, my blood pressure is skyrocketing and i am really bothered by js threading.2
-
As someone who started with MSDOS 6.2, the idea that I can now put emojis in my directory names in Google Drive fascinates me way more than it should. I've never been able to find my files faster than now.2
-
We are tasked with creating a site for a tv channel with livestream and stuff. Nobody has relevant experience so we have to research what's on other channels' sites. So far the industry standard seems to be broken bootstrap, inconsistent style and 2008 design.
-
I was tricky this time and sent a separate email for the client and my boss about the new release.
Client response: "Its very good, runs flawlessly, could you check x if you have the time? It gives errors simetimes"
Boss response: "[...] urgent fix get working on it right now [...]"
Seems like my boss has been the fucking piece of shit all this time :)1 -
Heads up: if you process a big database and want to do some advanced calculations, do not, i repeat, do not attempt to do so on your pentium home pc.4
-
This is stupid but i think is my best idea yet.
So i have an old orange pi, with only 256m memory. Its running a few tasks i need but i wanted to use it for controlling a few things from my phone (lights and powering on my pc) so i thought i would make a server for that. Now mind you, my shirt doesnt say "lightweight backend language", so there was no way the pi couldve handled a struts server. I was digging around and found that php has a shell_exec command. Then it clicked, and i wrote the whole system like
shell_exec("java -jar someprocess.jar"). Now this sounds really stupid but it works and php is really light so it doesnt even slow it down that much.
Thinking about making this into some kinda server/framework/something just for fun.4 -
Just realized, that after a few months of running my crypto trading algo, i have around 0.1 bitcoin. Started by mining monero in like february, and just traded back and forth afterwards.5
-
Aint a rant, but pulsar player has the best fucking implementation of the material design ive ever seen, everything is perfectly flat and still alive aaah
4 -
Imma be real with youse, i havent been posting shit cause i have a great job with great teammates and great management. Like it a rant that i cant rant but thats a good thig i guess. But ion wanna see devrant community goin down the gutter cause old members r leavin so imma stick around and post stupid shit in the comments as usual. So youse can stop bothering me bout bein inactive hmmm3
-
Can anyone tell me why is it good to use some crap language that transpiles to javascript? Yes i hate js too but 90% of my time using reason/ts/elm is just
>ddg how to do x in y
>no answer
>Js.unsafe.eval "js code"
Like???? None of them is a 100% complete wrapper???6 -
I got an interview on monday but i completely forgot i even applied. They said its java AND c#, so i can guarantee a 50% score i guess.
Can someone explain what the fuck is a namespace while we r at it?5 -
[worst hypothetical dev job]
You know how theres a dedicated person in porn whos job is blowing the actors so they are hard? That, but with writing all the boilerplate code and nothing else.1 -
just got a linkedin msg
"Hello, im from a headhunter company, looking for..."
THEY ARENT EVEN TRYING ANYMORE2 -
[corona wk]
Not at all, but i bought an electric scooter so i dont have to take public transport.
Also instead of "bless you" we now say "corona".1 -
Dear rust,
I swear im not going to modify that string, i fucking swear on my life pinky promise, just plEASE LET ME USE IT WITHOUT HAVING TO CLONE.
Sincerely, a functional programmer6 -
Man wk89 awesome... bringing back a lot of memories. The one thing really stands out to me though is the software.
I see a lot of rants about people shocked that turboC is still in use or other DOS programs are still in production. A lot can of bad be said here but I think often it's a case of we truly don't build things like we did in the good old days.
What those devs accomplished with such limited resources is phenomenal and the fact that we still haven't managed to replicate the feel and usability of it says a lot, not to mention just how fucking stable most of it was.
My favourite games are all DOS based, my most favourite of all time Sherlock is 103kb in size. When I started coding games I made a clone of it and to this day I am still trying to figure out what sorcery is in the algorithm that generates/solves puzzles that makes it so fast and memory efficient. I must have tried 100+ ways and can't even come close. NB! If you know you can hint but don't tell me. Solving this is a matter of personal pride.
Where those games really stand out is when you get into the graphics processing - the solutions they came up with to render sprites, maps and trick your eyes into seeing detail with only 4-16 colours is nothing short of genius. Also take a second to consider that taking a screen shot of the game is larger than the entire game itself and let that sink in...
I think the dramatic increase in storage, processing power and ram over the last decade is making us shit developers - all of us. Just take one look at chrome, skype or anything else mainline really and it's easy to see we no longer give a rats ass about memory anywhere except our monthly AWS/GCE bill.
We don't have to be creative or even mindful about anything but the most significant memory leaks in order to get our software to run now days. We also don't have constraints to distribute it, fast deliver-ability is rewarded over quality software. It's only expected to stay in production 3-4 years anyway.
Those guys were the true "rockstars" and "ninja" developers and if you can't acknowledge that you can take ya React app and shovit. -
Moving to a new office this week. The only chinese restaurant nearby is one of those where you get 5 times the amount of rice compared to the meat. Fuck.5
-
All my respect goes to sysadmins, ive been trying to hack together a cronjob for tha past 2 hours and its still not working.4
-
Jmonkey 3 is so damn fast wow, why dont they use this wonder instead of unity?
*angry js fanboys in the distance*
Oh yeah thats why1 -
It doesnt matter that i turned auto-update off, if devrant gets a new version i WILL hear about it. We all will hear about it.
-
Hey buddy pal mate, yeah, i get it, you a good frontend dude but if your page lags on my phone, im gonna just close it and never open it again, so dont you fucking use every possible overhead framework known to man.
-
After catching up on the mcu movies, i finna watch infinity war, but honestly, am i the only one who thinks they need to start working on other things than the origin story of every damn being in the unuverse?7
-
Just wrote an angry email about the unrealistic demands towards my team. Got a call an hour later from [product owner] where he had the most worried voice i ever heard because we are the only data scientists in the research. I expected an email reply in 2 weeks, seems like we are somewhat important here.2
-
I have probably the BEST DDOS DETECTION WORLDWIDE! It detects any DoS or DDoS at my private Network.
How it works?
Everytime I get attacked(so pretty often) my phone rings. But if I answer the phone there's only a "Beep Beep Beep". Shortly afterwards my connection shuts down 😂😂6 -
me: fuck yeah i love java
java: JFormattedTextField tf = ((JSpinner.DefaultEditor) columns.getEditor).getTextField();
me: ...
me: punish me more mommy3 -
I dont really have a story here, i just want to thank every college teacher/assistant teacher who has real world experience and decides to pass it on to students instead of picking from the billions of job offerings.3
-
This wasnt i thing i learned, rather a thing i taught someone.
It doesnt matter that you are in love with x language and you want to devote your life to it if the industry adapted something else, you will have to compromise.
(Node vs php)1 -
How do you counter DOS attack? I have one online service where an idiot just calls curl command to one endpoint.
Although my service is working and server performance is not affected, I found it annoying.
Cloudflare could be a solution, the reason I did not use before is user might have to wait a few seconds before seeing the app, but if no choice then.17 -
So i left my job as an android dev earlier (nothing big, just didnt wanna juggle school and work) and as the year started i noticed that somehow i ended up working as an android dev again but this time in c#. There's no escape.9
-
!rant
Today I realized, I can play the best game on earth on my smartphone using dosbox. So I guess this will be my last post on devRant...
6 -
>open project
>add some prints to debug a small thing
>algorithm gets completely fucked up, replacing data everywhere
>close project -
That feeling when you pump out pet projects for a few days and then suddenly you stop and your entire wednesday feels wasted.1
-
Be me.
Learn angular for a project @ work.
Do the filter-page-by-textbox thing.
Type "nex" in search bar.
Not working.
Spend 3 hours reading tutorials and docs.
Realize all divs have "nex" in them. -
Tldr: what are some tips you wish you got when you started programming?
Hey so. I got added to a facebook group with absolute beginners to programming. Been tryna answer their questions but its getting overwhelming and i thought id make a definitive guide to beginners or something like that. I have a buncha topics and tips but the more the better, so please if you got some advice you wish you got x years ago, post it down here.5 -
how to php, an infographic by Bind (that me)
0) assert your goal, in this example let it be sending an email from the server
1) search for implemented methods
2) all you can find is either outdated or not helping at all
3) think of solution in any other language (eg c# or node)
4) implement 3)
5) iterate until you have something that works but you have no idea why
6) after 1 week, realize that there is a built in method, but its called userData_registration_sEnder0(adress, header, egg, pinNumbe_r, message)
7) cry5 -
The past few months i got a bunch of emails and calls from my previous "boss" (hes the head of the research), that he would be grateful if i helped them out. I got a few friends still working on that piece of shit project so i said yeah, i can help.
Now this whole thing is a research involving most of the big universities, lots of math phds, and is kinda secret. They couldnt find anyone to sketch up a few stupid algorithms for them so i did just that.
Yesterday i got the specifications for the task. Its the core functioning algo, the one i made from fucking discrete integer data, it took me 3 fucking months to correct their mistakes, and now they want me to create 2 similar patterns for 2 completely different...things. Yeeeah no.3 -
Right now what i want to do is just quit everything, move somewhere else, get a job and never fucking look back. Im sick of all these projects college dumps on me, the idiots im surronded with, my job, people who think im interested in their fucking research. I just want a 8 to 5 job and after 5 im fucking done and nobody calls me about how long will the next release take for projects i dont give a shit about.
In other news i just started my thesis yay.1 -
If your site uses angular or react or some other piece of shit framework to load the data after the site has fucking loaded, make a public fucking api because i cant parse your shitass website from source.3
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I made a speedcoding video and its really fun to see just how fast can you make yourself code something that works.
https://youtube.com/watch/...
Here, ill probably make more later.9 -
Right now i want to put together a system to automatically water/warm/whatever my chilli peppers, but on the long run i want to embed some microcontrollers into my body.4
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I wanted to rant like 10 times today but was on a tight schedule (yes its fucking sunday), so here is everything:
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Fuck you, i dont give a shit that you need to present data tomorrow, its weekend, you cant just fucking call me to get things done asap. Im working from the code of a dead guy do you know how fucking hard it is to ask a dead person whats their code do?
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I really wish devrant had some kinda longboard/skateboard in the profile pic
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Im still not a fucking designer i can make like does-not-make-you-barf tier designs, JUST TELL ME WHAT TO FUCKING CODE JESUS
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whys the new rick n morty episode not out yet wtf
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Yo i love linux but set the fucking privileges right you dipshit, i cant exrcute my damn code on your crappy ass 2008 xeon server fuck you3 -
Why the fuck does android studio freeze on every 7th deploy. I just want a world where jetbrains can actually create useful IDEs please.4
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I have a LOT of Floppies but no floppy drive that works with my current Win7 machine, and my XP one is in multiple boxes for parts... so for now I can only stare at NetWare 4 to 4.2, WfW 3.11 and DOS 6-22.
Smart me made VMs on his XP machine and transferred them to his Win7 one.
I also have data tapes... now that is NEVER gonna work on my Win7 so... anyone knows how it could *possibly* work out?
Also... I got documentation on Compaq servers... those are nice.
AAAAAAND since I’m a huge MIDI nerd... I have a SC-55mkII hooked on the UM-ONE mkII and those shitty cans that I’m gonna switch (hopefully) soon for a nice pair of Cakewalks MA-15Ds.
Also, I’m looking for one of them 5150s because 80s IBM and since I also like keyboards... the one and only Model M.
Anyone can hook me up with a cheap one?1 -
me: what a nice day
someone: hey, wanna join our project? its a university thing
me: yeah sure
someone: oh, you r the PM
me: AAAAA -
!rant
Today I finally found a randomly appearing bug that prevented our nightly backup on our production servers! Finally!
Now I can go to sleep in peace. -
i really love using linux with terminal only up to the point when i need to check a command and realize that i havent even installed a browser on my pi4
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How do you organize your downloads folder?
Personally, I make a new folder with some name(altough the name actually being useful is rare) and just select all of my files and dump them there. Finding a file sucks so much though, I can never remember their names so I just look through the folders at the icons and hope I find the file I'm looking for. This mess that is my downloads folder led to looking 5 times in a folder to find a file.
My DOS VM is more organized than that...
Speaking of DOS managing memory in that is hell. I've never had memmaker detect 64MB of RAM, giving the VM 96MB of RAM made it detect 2 more MB or something.5 -
So there are a few bugs with IDEA and qwertz keyboards, namely there are combos on @ { < keys (you know, not that i would use those in java). After setting it to qwerty, manually deleting every shortcut and restarting the whole damn universe, still nothing. Very useful, 10/10, would use again.
Except not.1 -
1) clicking on the wk141 tag wouldnt show the wk140 rants
2) big titty mafia mommy gf
3) when i buy something i always have the exact price on my bank account -
I been using digital ocean to host my server for a project, but they seem to get shutdown because of DoS behaviour. I have no idea why. The server is doing some soap and rest communication and controlling a database.
To be fair the password was poor, but it was meant to be a fast way for four people to work on it at the same time.
But after the first shutdown, we rebuild the server and work on functions. Finish the work and went home. But in the server 9 hours of uptime with 2 of them unsupervised it was detected as DoS behaving server.
💻🔪2 -
!rant Big ++ to all who encouraged us as we slowly shared this project on DevRant.
@qberry1 and have 1 chapter in the books with big props to DevRant
https://medium.com/@lquessenberry/...
@compSci @klonky @tachoknight @n1had @dfox
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This is !dev as fuck but does anyone know something like a book recommendation engine? There are a ton for movies and anime, but couldnt find a good one for books. The best would be one where i input some books and fonds me similar ones.
Alternatively, im looking for dark fantasy books where magic is negligible and potentially has assassins in it, if anyone knows good ones.11 -
>Finds an URL that causes some sort of internal bug in a client's webapp
>Subsequent requests fill up the server's PHP-FPM slots, waiting for a session exclusive lock that never comes
>Effectively DoS's the server
>Sends it to a colleague to discuss the possible causes
>Uses slack
>Forgets Slack happily indexes any link it's given
>Slack almost DoS the service
FUN -
We are currently refactoring our application in order to use multiple languages. The application startet 1997 and later it supported 2 fix languages. So it's one defined language or the other, this was used in uncountable places. Now a team of 6 developers has to refactor all the code of the last 20 years, where labels are used and an old translator was magically used out of nowhere..
Turns out it's a ton of work to get the software ready for really multiple language support. -
!rant
Today I found a huge performance bug of a coworker which brought our production servers to the limit.
Some heavy calculations were made 3 times when visiting some special pages... Instead of eg. 5 seconds the load needed 15 seconds.😮
So happy that the servers will run smooth again!1 -
2 week "conference" "meeting" in greece. Thought would also be a nice chance for a vacation. Except the cell network is absolute horseshit here, who the fuck uses 3g anymore??1
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I found a cooler master atx with built in power for like half the price of a cm atx and a cm power supply yay2
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Will those days in which we used to play the same levels multiple times inorder to improve skills come back?
:/4 -
Me: okay lets test this website i made for my iot projects
Apache2: nah nope i aint loading shell stuff
Me: hm seems like a php bug, lets debug locally
Me:
Me: fucking
1 -
Everyones like "python is pseudocode" but honestly i dont see it, after sql, python is the least intuitive syntax i ever worked with, and i frequently use haskell so4
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Command Prompt is archaic and useless. The most I can do with it (without using other programs) is copy files and overwrite user passwords. Both useful, granted, but nothing compared to the Windows GUI - or, like, any other command line? Heck, I'd rather just have a python shell and nothing else.
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Programming in c++ on DOS (dosBox) feels so amazing, I really like it, I'll get a CRT monitor just for this (also a bit of Doom)! So cool!1
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The most bizzarro thing I have seen my client do is, whip out his keyboard, open his ERP - DOS Software and remove his pajamas and walks me through every feature for some module he wants to add.
My question, why a DOS Software for ERP in 2018?!2 -
Recently started computer science course at college. Linux user since 3 years.
Started to learn MS-DOS yesterday.
Teacher: To create a file use 'copy con <filename>'
Me (thinking): WTF, DOS doesn't have a seperate create command like 'touch'5 -
How come that im absolute shit when it comes to designing a webpage but i can make really fucking cool looking android apps, when they are essentially the same thing1
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Anybody entering ludum dare on the 29th? I wanna try my luck at making a game, never succeeded before :')3
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!dev
>Be my friend
>Buy a tdi
>Upshift at 1300rpm
>Get up to speed in like a minute
Ffs the turbo never even turned on what the fuck.1 -
I just got a legacy java system and im starting to see why kotlin should be implemented, so fucking imbeciles cant use null as a database path
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Currently rewriting a python library because the author clearly doesnt understand what crossplatform means, and this language is fucking terrible.2
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I cant really contribute much to this wk because im mostly doing dev stuff in my free time.
But league and, well, strategy games in general taught me a lot about micromanaging stuff and thinking ahead. My advice is, if you wanna get better at most mental tasks, go download lol or grab a copy of cities or eu4 and play for half an hour every day.9 -
!rant
I finally published my first open source project. A package for calculation a geohash of a geolocation for pharo smalltalk.
I know that most of the users don't know smalltalk but it's the best OOP you can code with. And geohash is such a great algorithm. Lovely combination2 -
That feeling when you fixing bugs in production and add another one that's even worse, so now your getting about 300 error mails for a bug which was 10 seconds online...1
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There is a job fair coming up next week and while i dont really want to find a new job, i thought this would be a good excuse to update my cv a bit.
My question is, do you have any templates/frameworks/anything you usually use for stuff like this? I always throw together some bootstrap page but i want to learn something new.1 -
Ah yes i also love when you have so much shit to do for college where you are supposed to be studying developer stuff, that you havent written a single line of code in the past week because you dont have time.1
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Yo, i have a course where i have to build an android app, and we can make what the fuckever we want. Can you give me some interesting APIs, that are publicly available? It doesnt have to make sense, everything is better than using the anidb api, and thats the only thing that comes to mind.2
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It started when i was about 10 old.
My uncle showed me how to display something in dos-prompt using the echo command in a custom batch-file.
A few commands later, i was able to "program" a flip-book of an ascii ski-driver. Each ascii picture was separated by pressing any key and cls ^^
Aaaaah. Sweet childhood memories!
Later on i used a programming-language for beginners in windows.
This language gave you control of a triangle called "turtle".
My first high-level programming language was Delphi.
Since i had no idea of databases, i created a pseudo database of magic the gathering play-cards. Each card had it's very own windows formular filled up completely with an uncompressed image object displaying the chosen card modally. *sigh*
I scanned each card by using a feed scanner.
Finally, my application consisted of 200 cardimages and forced my PC to swap the required memory from my harddisk.
Boy o boy. I was such a noob! ^^
Over the years i discovered and felt in love with a lot of languages (jsp, java (script), c#, php, ...) and concepts (mvvm, mvc, clean-architecture, tdd, ...)! ;) -
So, working on real multi language support today I was searching for countries and country-codes. Yes this one is easy peasy. Also easy if you want every countryname in your supported languages.
But why is there no source for the states or provinces translated in every language. It's so hard to find...
Anyone knows a source for it? Is it worth to create a project for such translations?1 -
Back in the days of DOS/Win3.x I was jerking around in school sending messages to my friends in other classes by changing autoexec.bat on the workstations I used.
Somehow someone mistook my messages as a virus, and the IT department closed down the workstations for weeks.2 -
I just saw this video on slow loris attacks (https://youtu.be/XiFkyR35v2Y).
So my question is: why even bother with creating a botnet for a ddos attack?3 -
Anyone with the guts to kick-start this can do so here (so that you can't get my IFTTT webhook key):
https://to.retnikt.uk/ifttt
2 -
Anyone know of an app for traffic generation/speed test of private networks for Android? Want to see how my network's doing1
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Fiddled since the days of DOS, fell in to the world of Linux ~15 years ago, fiddled some more.
In 2010, though, I jokingly/enthusiastically commented on @anderwebs twitpic about how he was adding theming to the ADW Android launcher and I was excited about a BuuF theme for Android.
He replied with something like, "cool, you gonna do it?". And I thought to myself, sure why not...and I did. Great learning experience.
Since then, I've stuck doing more of the systems/backend side of things...and I still, to this day, wouldn't consider myself a programmer as I'm not proficient in any one language....I'm a copy/paste weekend coder. I take advantage of software and my skills to manipulate it whenever/however I can.
I need some inspiration to move forward with my education and immersion with programming. I continue to take intro courses, but have not gotten to an advanced level.
Any recommendations for getting started with Android programming, without using much Java? I'd imagine I would have really gotten in to it if it had been Python, for some reason. -
Went to girlfriends family. Tablet not functional (screen doesn't work anymore), laptop stayed at home.
So smartphone is my only connection to Internet.
I would like to code something so much...
I think I've now read every rant here...5 -
O great devs that know grep I have a log that I took from a local company's router that got DOSsed yesterday (they sell very nice sandwiches) and I wanted to know how I can take only the IP's from the log so that I can take action against the users (contacting the abuse if the ISP)10
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Tried to install MS-DOS 6.22. Was not fun at all. Tried 3 iso flashers in total. The closest that happened to DOS was unetbootin getting bootlooped on the 10 second countdown to automatic system start. I gave up on it eventually.
:\7 -
You have a revolver that when you shoot somebody on your tv/pc they die in real life, but since its a revolver you only have 6 shots, who do you shoot.9
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2020 goal
Shid and fard
Also some form of a biohack that makes sens in a day to day life, looking at the new spider man movie glasses rn1 -
Oh man, why is there no good api for ocr in PDFs? Once you are searching for this kind you will only find some kind of tesseract.
Why doesn't have Amazon an api for this???3
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