SkillsPhp, js, nodejs, react, docker
Joined devRant on 10/12/2016
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A module for molecules, which take an OPEN API definition and creates a restful API and graph definitions.
So all the proxy database stuff on a rest API can be done easily inside a microservices architecture.3
One of my juniors was approached by Klarna. To join their engineering department.
Does anyone have prior experience with them?6
The top two:
* the laziest intern ever!! He lived 100m from the office but was always late for the daily. Even managed to forget his fucking laptop at home!! His mommy had to wake him up!!! He was so useless that I thought he was on the first year of his bachelor's degree and later the team said to me that he had finished it.
* some frat bro, got an internship thanks to daddy inside my ops team. He managed to insult everyone in his first week!!
So I had to tell his daddy, that his son will work under the office support team and will be in charge of the first level support for his branch. Daddy fired his son sorry as after two weeks!!1
I was working at a Japanese company in Tokyo. A fucking earthquake started.
I was the only moron who was willing to start running for my life...
I couldn't do shit all day!9
My middle company urged to try to outsource the engineering department.
So today I met with a "senior engineering manager" to explain to him our infra.
He doesn't know what AAC (architecture as code), terraform, k8 and graphql mean... And that's the easy part!
3 hours after... He only said: "I don't think we have the skill needed to maintain this".
Next week, we should dive in the micro-services...It's going to be hilarious. Well for me, he's fucked.7
So I was talking microservices architecture with some lead techs.
And I started asking how did they combine/connect their microservices.
And despite having a lot, they use HTTP as the main transporter.
So the put some API-Gateway, all inside traffic has to go through it, to connect to the final client.
And I said that I do meshing microservices, and we use Nats as man transporter, so our messages go through UDP and not TCP.
And they freaked out. Saying UDP is too low level and not useful...
My question: if you do microservices oriented architecture, and not SOA, do you use HTTP? Did you use it simply because "it works"?14
So today I got to see one of the most stupid architectural choices I have ever seen.
They have a service-oriented architecture. Mainly Python and Elixir.
A lot of computation goes in the Python services.
And the Elixir services as used to expose RestApi. Basic ones, basically DB proxies.
Not a lot of async, or communication... Just plain CRUD.
Why the fuck do you use Elixir for that?? And now they can't recruit someone... And the CTO doesn't get why it was a stupid choice!!!
And in python, they use async functions with sync DB APIs...1
Almost every I code with close friends (all seniors) or my brother (also senior).
It's crazy what we can accomplish when there is no implicit and no one want to take shortcuts.
And mostly on personal projects, no client to shit all over the place.
With m'y brother we also often code at 4 hands in repl.it
I always liked to go through recruitment pipelines, to see what other companies do.
So today I had a meeting with a "talent recruter".
He asked to present myself, my history and what I did in the last three years... In 10 minutes...
So, obviously I did it in 20 mins.
The final response was "not good vibes, and synthesis problems".
WTF? How can I presente a big restructuration, recruting, process, formations, architectures in less thant 15 minutes... Did he wanted that I made drop naming.2
So last time, when HR asked for a meeting I thought they knew who'll be leaving with me. But there is only rumors saying "CTO is poaching inside his team".
And I also learned from the a paralegal, who talk too much, that they just want to fuck with me.
So new course of action: how can I fuck with them? All week end thinking about it. And today, a big competitor, offered me the VP Engineering!!!
So I'll try to make them use their Non-Competition clause.
In France you can set a couple of main competitors and the employee can't work for them for a couple of years. And you have to pay the employee the full salary he could earn during that time (two years of salary). As the employee, you have to disclose this information (you want to sign with the competitor) with your current company and they have a couple of week to decide if they want to use the clause.
So I'm starting to see how I can scare them enough to make them use this clause.
I know it's not cool, but I enjoy so much fucking with them!!!10
So today my middle company put a meeting with the new HR.
Meeting subject: you can't poach inside the company.
Context: I resigned, and I'll be taking with me 3 profiles.
HR: If you do take them, we'll take you to court.
HR: It's poaching and by contract, you can't.
Me: You can show which clause?
HR: That's not the problem.
Me: Also in France, you need to notify the employee as you are denying his right to get a job. And pay him for that.
HR: What? That's none sense! Stop talking and listen.
HR: We'll sue you and crush you. You'll have so much legal problem that you...
Me: I'll just start recording on my phone, so you say that you accept it and continue your intimidation rant.
HR: What? No!! Stop that.
Me: *stop it* Would you rather have my lawyer with us? Because we'll need to reschedule the meeting.
HR: If you continue that way, we'll tarnish your name and no company will hire you.
Me: You really aren't familiar with IT, right? Because I could delete ALL production. No system work. The BCP will kick in. You will lose one or two days. Then make an article of it, showing what kind of process or security should have been implemented. And I will still get a high pay job!!
HR: You know what? Get out! If you want to go to war, your problem.
Me: Ok, so you'll be getting news from my lawyer by mail.
Me: Yeah, that harassment. And my lawyer will get in touch. And I might also post on LinkedIn. And talk about it in the next events I'm invited.
HR: that's, that's...
Me: freedom of speech. Don't worry I'll write it so it's only viewed as my opinion. Have a nice day.
Two hours later my friend, lawyer, send them a mail and email.
Three hours later the COO calls me. Saying that HR was out of line and that it'll no occur again. It was an error and I should be forgiving.
So now all discussion with HR must be held with my attorney :). And middle company pay for it.6
Don't do meetings?
When I have a 7+ meeting and I'm not presenting, I always have a prod problem.
My politics for meetings copy the need to know politic inside Intelligence service. Not 100% sure I need to be there? I won't be there.
So yesterday, I had a meeting with a big client of Middle Company. And as I resigned, and don't really give a fuck anymore, it was a really funny meeting.
First I played a got my best score in 2048!!!
The client asked a bunch of technical questions, so I answered him. Then came questions about planning: Would I be able to help us with their k8 stack deployment in September.
And while the CEO was saying "We talk about it in September", I said " No. In September I will start my company.".
And the client asked, "So you will be able to work for us?"
The CEO was so pissed!! So funny!!!
And today we received a letter saying that "the client" will stop working with us(IT) in 3 months.
I can't wait to talk to a buddy who works in the HQ.3
And if you use less than 3 letters for naming, there is a special hell that awaits you, when we murder you after a lot of suffering!!!!7
I love to hack stuff. And the first time I did change some code and had a behavioral change in the game WAS AWESOME.
I can create stuff.
I'm a fucking practitioner of tech voodoo, a computer whisperer!! Awesome!
New meeting with the CEO and Chairman of Middle Company.
As the last week shit hit the fan hard, today they wanted to have an appeased relationship until my departure. They praised my job and what I accomplished in two years. And started a really well-executed blowjob (figuratively!).
They continued with the really fucking bad situation they are in and asked if I would help them. And I answer "Yes, I'll help you as much as possible."
And they asked if I could stay a little more. And I answered, "No, I can't".
They said that they are willing to double my pay for the next six months if I stayed. And I answered, " That's nice, but I can't".
They asked if I could convince some of the middle management (IT) to withdraw their resignation. And I answered, "No, I can't". Once again, they offered some money. This time I told them it wasn't a money problem.
They asked how could I tell that I was willing to help them if I refused everything they asked.
I simply replied " By doing my job!"
I think they got my "screw you, I'm going home!"6
1 CEO, 3 CTO and 2 Polytechnicien (French engineers from a big French school)
They all deserved that their project called "life" were cancelled. It's a clear and indisputable failure!
I have been lucky to have a wonderful mentor. He helped me to get my master CS after I arrived in Montreal. When I had a housing problem not only did he take me in for a couple of weeks but he even helped me get a new flat!
He's the reason I'm not a dickhead.
I continue to have mentorees. Get them around the last year of their bachelor (they need to know how to code) and follow them for 3 years.
"Be the change you want to see" - everyone who quotes Gandhi3
Today my current company fuck itself.
We were in negotiations about the end of my contract/mission, I want to quit to create a company around AI.
And the actual chairman said to me "You think too highly of yourself. I could find a tenth of people to replace you so shut up and take what we offer".
30 minutes later they received my resignation. 1h after that, the 15 dev under me resigned (after two year working with us they are clearly under paid). At the end of the day, the Head of product and the two good PO resigned.
This morning I get an email, talking about suing me as I made everyone resigned and asking for a meeting.
So I went to the meeting with a lawyer, they weren't expecting it. Boring legal stuff came after that.
And the funny fact: at the end of the meeting the CIO, chief ops and the SRE resigned as well.... As they didn't want to have the run it without all the team...
Funny day :)
Last month the main product, 90% of the company use it, was launched. And in three months 80% if the IT profiles will be out...37
So today I got fucked by myself. And it hurts.
In my Company, we started thinking how we could organize some kind of think tank for the next 5/ years goals.
As CTO I got designated to be in these workshops... And stupid me, I started to organize the "workshops". Using " agile" and "facilitator" artifacts (serious games, ideation sessions, open space sessions, etc).
Today we finished the roadmap and proto processes to make bottom to top inclusive process, and co-create with everyone what should be the Company roadmap.
We went to dinner. And I was happily talking with my smartphone when they decided that I should preside the committee in charge of the roadmap creation!!!!!
Useless mother fuckers!!!!! Go kill yourselves!!!! I have some interesting stuff to do!!!
Why didn't I just shut it!!! Now I'll have to make sure the old cluster fuck part of the Company do real shit!!! They are fucking useless and don't give a shit about the future!!!!
I mentor two profiles (started in their master first year), and for 3 years: taking them with me when I have a job change and applying ShuHaRi to teach them. They are my firsts mentorees in France, and they are finishing the course.
And I'm SO proud of them, they'll be leaving my side (changing job). And starting their own journey!!
They'll go to very good companies, for really good jobs/teams. I gave them tears and blood for 3 years and now they are riping the results of their perseverance, hard work and commitment.
It's one of the things that I love in my job. Being able to do that, and to see them grow it so cool!!
On the other hand, I'll lose have to replace them... And it'll be difficult for the company to find good profiles. And I'll start looking for a new mentoree to follow.2
Went to the lego shop and now I have to produce the Voltron robots, one of the Ninjago dragons and 2 Ninjago vehicles...
My son is the worst client I have ever had!!!!!! He doesn't see why it can't be done in one night, its the only subject he wants to talk about... He even said the "If you really tried you could do it"...11
Monolith oriented micro service.
All the coupling and evolving resistance without the simplicity or consistency...
So this morning something wonderful happened. One of my teams deployed some cache for our API using Redis and they didn't config it!!!
So it's TROLL-time!!! And we have some really cool troll rules if you DOS the QA stack!! So if they resolve it in less than an hour they will only have to use a funny cap all day long (even for lunch) but if it takes more than 1 hour it will be a full cyclist outfit for the whole day (over their own cloth).
PS: if you ever use Redis don't mysql it (why config it? it'll work!!!), because Redis will murder your server!!!4
Every now and then I attend to previews with clients, and almost every time the clients make me think : "they can't be so stupid? Can they? And I start thinking that there should be some kind of minimum brain use time to allow people to wake up the next morning."
The worst part for me : the clients should be engineers... They might even have some kind of engineer degree...
On the bright side, one of my mentoree handled a denied of service error so fucking swiftly! He's amazing!!
So today I bought the firsts lego boxes for my eldest son and gave him his first long-term addiction...
Feels SO FUCKING GREAT!!!!!!4