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ERRORs are red,
INFOs are blue.
My logs look pretty,
But not as pretty as-
Wait, hold on. Why are there ERRORs in here?
Why is the homepage returning a 5- oh crap.
Can you just... Can you give me a minute?12 -
When you thought you oversimplified the user interface but it's still too confusing for the user...
6 -
An area sales rep once rang me to tell me his iPhone screen was cracked and was going blurry around some sections.
I told him to fetch me to look, and I will see what I can do.
5 minutes later I get a SCREENSHOT from his phone asking if I can see the crack and blurry edges.
HOW FUCKING DUMB ARE THESE PEOPLE!!!
I mean, come on. He seriously said when I called him: "But I can see the crack and blurry bits on the screenshot on my phone"4 -
BETA USER: Is this feature working? When I add a link I get an error that says "URL cannot be more than 255 characters."
ME (biting my tongue): Hi ****, Yes it works. The link you're trying to add is too long. Please try a shorter URL.
BETA USER: Oh, it should tell you that!
😳🤪🤬10 -
dfox: "Let me make life easier for them. Introducing tab bar!"
users: "tab bar is hard to reach on top. please move it to the bottom"
dfox: "But you never complained when the hamburger was at the top-left corner. nvm I'll do it"
users: "ugh, where is the material design. Move the tab bar to the top. Make it scrollable"
dfox: "sudo rm -rf /users"25 -
Someones keyboard just stopped working in my job.
They called the helpdesk and i told them to unplug the keyboard from the back of the PC and try a different usb port before i send them down a new keyboard.
Their reply?
‘How am i meant to do that? I mean... *laughs* I didn’t go to college for this kind of stuff. I know you did but you need to explain it in English for me instead of using technical terms.’
....
So i had to describe what a USB looks like, and tell her how to follow the (only) skinny black cable she has on her desk, down the back of the desk and into the PC. She got overwhelmed by this cable being the same colour as the thicker VGA cable, so ended up unplugging everything!
Its fine though, as when she plugged them all back in, everything was back working.
She finished the call by saying:
“Like, i know how to use a computer but I just don’t understand all this technical mumbo jumbo, like USB’s and stuff? How should i know about that?”
...
I sincerely think interviews need to have just 5 minutes dedicated to the person showing that they know what a bloody USB is!!, can turn on/off a PC, open outlook, and follow basic instructions.
Ugh I work with idiots 😢19 -
I genuinely am lost for words on this one.
I just asked a user to press the wifi button on their laptop so i can check their wired connection was up and running okay.
They couldn’t find the blue ‘Fn’ or ‘aerial’ symbol that i described, so sent me this picture to see if they were pressing the right button.
Like....
What?? No!
What is wrong with you?? Seriously???
*cries*
Working on a helpdesk is destroying my soul!!
7 -
And here comes the last part of my story so far.
After deploying the domain, configuring PCs, configuring the server, configuring the switch, installing software, checking that the correct settings have been applied, configuring MS Outlook (don't ask) and giving each and every user a d e t a i l e d tutorial on using the PC like a modern human and not as a Homo Erectus, I had to lock my door, put down my phone and disconnect the ship's announcement system's speaker in my room. The reasons?
- No one could use USB storage media, or any storage media. As per security policy I emailed and told them about.
- No one could use the ship's computers to connect to the internet. Again, as per policy.
- No one had any games on their Windows 10 Pro machines. As per policy.
- Everyone had to use a 10-character password, valid for 3 months, with certain restrictions. As per policy.
For reasons mentioned above, I had to (almost) blackmail the CO to draft an order enforcing those policies in writing (I know it's standard procedure for you, but for the military where I am it was a truly alien experience). Also, because I never trusted the users to actually backup their data locally, I had UrBackup clone their entire home folder, and a scheduled task execute a script storing them to the old online drive. Soon it became apparent why: (for every sysadmin this is routine, but this was my first experience)
- People kept deleting their files, whining to me to restore them
- People kept getting locked out because they kept entering their password WRONG for FIVE times IN a ROW because THEY had FORGOTTEN the CAPS lock KEY on. Had to enter three or four times during weekend for that.
- People kept whining about the no-USB policy, despite offering e-mail and shared folders.
The final straw was the updates. The CO insisted that I set the updates to manual because some PCs must not restart on their own. The problem is, some users barely ever checked. One particular user, when I asked him to check and do the updates, claimed he did that yesterday. Meanwhile, on the WSUS console: PC inactive for over 90 days.
I blocked the ship's phone when I got reassigned.
Phiew, finally I got all those off my chest! Thanks, guys. All of the rants so far remind me of one quote from Dave Barry:
8 -
My manager suggested that we include a "stupid user mode" in our application.
Everyone seems to be happy with that :)7 -
I had a client reach out to me to build a website for a company they’re starting.
The email was well-written and I was considering doing it—but then I read the last sentence.
“I think it’s appropriate for you to do it for free since I took the time to reach out to you”10 -
Maybe it does some sort of calculation to let us know who is going to call next by accessing calls? #facepalm
5 -
Went into Facebook's source code to update the colors from blue to green and black (don't judge me) and saw this in the console log lol. Didn't know people were that gullible...
14 -
- Free app:
"5 stars - OMG this app is awesome!!!"
- Add new feature with In-app purchase:
"1 star - App sucks balls. Why we must pay? Make free and I rate 5 stars"
I call them The Rating Terrorists.8 -
"it's important to get into the mind of the user, if you can simulate exactly how they'll use your product, you'll get much deeper insights into what they value and what to focus on next"
*Builds Android app*
*Deploys to phone*
*Goes to toilet*3 -
Thinking/saying: nah, that can't be an issue, no user can be that stupid
Never has anyone been so wrong.17 -
How do I un-idiot my users when it comes to clicking on dodgy email-links??
Got a forwarded email just there from a user who said;
Good afternoon,
Is the below ok to open?
I just tried but got a popup saying I've been blocked from opening it.
I'm not sure who it is coming from and I am not waiting on anything but as it says its from dropbox and is important, i know it's okay.
Can you unblock the link ASAP please?
This is really impeding my work-day as I need to know what it is and act accordingly.
Regards... user.
The Original email came from a random jumble of letters with a subject line of 'important dropbox program' - not only does it look dodgy but its english is horrible! It said;
"Hi tu my freind,
You tu still read a pending verrry important document sent by one of your own contact to be vieweddd.
Install "Highly Confidential english.pdf" by clickinggg here
*insert link leading to something called 'viral-update-trojan.exe'*"
I mean, seriously... help!!! 😢
We have sent emails explaining how to hover over links and to not to click them if it looks wrong.
No one does it.
We hired a company to send fake phishing emails to train users in what to do.
It made no difference!
We now make people 'verify' their email addresses when opening any sort of link to try get them to actually look at what they're opening.
We also strip emails of original attachments and create 'safe' html copies as we can't trust them to look at what they're opening.
Everyone complains about it but Jesus Christ, this is why!!!
Its so exhausting!! What is wrong with people!!! Argh!!! 😤16 -
Not my own rant, but when I see some user asking for refunds on a free app, I just gotta share it. See the developer's heart-warming response.
17 -
*goes to the local town hall to get my new ID*
A week ago:
Clerk: Sorry sir, our systems don't work anymore, we can't process your request!
Me: Epic. Is there any sysadmin in here that can fix this pronto?
C: No it's a centrally managed system. It's managed by the people in ${another town}.
M (thinking): Well how about you fucking call them then, fucking user. Screaming blood and fire when nothing is wrong server-side but doing nothing when there is. Fucking amazing, useless piece of shit.
One week later, i.e. today:
M: Hey, I'd like to renew my ID card. I've got this announcement document here and my current ID card.
C: Oh no I don't need the announcement document. I need your PIN and PUK code letter.
M (thinking): What the fuck do you need that for.. isn't that shit supposed to be my private information..?
*gives PIN and PUK part of the letter*
C: Alright, to register your new ID card, please enter your PUK and then your PIN in this card reader here twice.
M: Sure, but I'd like to change both afterwards. After all they're written on this piece of paper and I'm not sure that just destroying that will be enough.
C: Sure sure you can change them. Please authenticate with the codes written on the paper.
*Authenticates*
C: So you'd like to change your codes, right?
M: Yeah but I'd like to change it at home. You know, because I can't know for sure that this PC here is secure, the card reader has a wired connection to your PC (making it vulnerable to keyloggers) and so on.
C: Impossible. You can't change your PIN at home. (What about the PUK?!)
M: But I've done that several times with my Digipass for my previous passport.. it is possible and I've done it myself.
C: Tut tut, impossible. I know it's impossible and therefore it is.
M (thinking): Thanks for confirming that I really shouldn't enter my personal PIN on your fucking PC, incompetent bitch.
M: Alright, I'll just keep this PIN, try at home and if it's really impossible because the system changed to remove this functionality (which I highly doubt, that'd be really retarded), I'll come back later.
(Just to get rid of this old stupid woman's ignorance essentially.)
C: Sure sure...
Me: I'd also like to register as an organ donor. Where can I do that?
C: That'd be over there. *points to the other room in the town hall*
FUCKING THANK YOU LORDS OF THE WICKED RAVEN AND THE LIBERATED TUX, TO GET ME AWAY FROM THAT STUPID FUCKING BITCH!!!
.. anyway. I've got my new ID and I'm an official organ donor now 🙂7 -
The number of people using high end versions of mac just for working on some spreadsheet and watching videos on youtube is just too damn high..15
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can be explaned by space/time difference when you switch to standard usage vs the current you are in and violate a bit. lols
1 -
Product replying to Jira ticket: We think this issue has been resolved. Can you please reach out to the user and confirm?
Customer care: User xxx has responded to say she "has given up in frustration, and the app simply doesn't work". She has requested to have her account deactivated. This user has requested to not be contacted any further by the program.
Hows your day going devrant? mines going VERY well5 -
So today I got a call that an end user decided to try to be a developer. He built and ran a bulk edit script on his company's server.....
Without a scaled test....
As root....
From root....
Without backups....
How's this my problem again?
Oh right, it's not (yet)!5 -
so um... several of my users access file explorer ONLY via Word.
How?
Well, open Word: File->Open->Computer->Browse (nb. thank you Word 2013 and onwards for making life miserable) and voila, access to documents, downloads, and server shares is gained.
...
Users... they will always find a way8 -
There's a "support" button in my app that allows users to contact me to report issues. The email body is prefilled with some useful information. This is the kind of email that I receive most of the time... DO THEY THINK I CAN READ THEIR MINDS?
12 -
People on github opening issues saying shit like "aye, your extension crashes. Please fix or I'll uninstall. Thanks.". How am I supposed to fix an error I know nothing about? Error message? Extension list? Stack trace? Steps to reproduce? Nope. Nothing.
Don't be like this, please.6 -
I'm the only windows user in my office(my only other choice was Mac). One of the salesmen walks in my office with his macbook.
salesman: what do you know about macs?
me: nothing, why?
salesman: well I just got a new MacBook and I can't right-click, is there like a setting or something I gotta click?
me: well there's no "right-click" by default on Macs, but I think there's a way so you can click with the right side of the touchpad and get the "command-click" you're looking for. stand over there quietly while I finish this function then I'll look into it.
*i proceed to fiddle with some code for 5 or so minutes while he stands in the corner*
me: ok so let's look at your MacBook... ok *at this point I jump on my computer* let's see what Google has to say.
search: enable right-click on mac
me: huh! look at that! Google gives you the answer right there, poof! like magic. now we just follow directions, system settings>keyboard and touchpad>enable click with bottom right corner. bam! anything else?
salesman: yeah, I want the little bar thing to go away *talking about the dock auto-hide
me: ok well that's called the dock, let's ask Google again...look, Google gives the answer again, without even needing to click any links, I could probably click these links and get more in-depth instructions, but right here at the top is the answer
salesman: wow man, thanks! I've got a meeting in 10 minutes and I never would have figured this out.
*before he leaves
me: here take this...
5 -
You developed a completly free and open source app that was designed to do A, and it does exactly what it should.
Review from an user (2 stars out of 5):
"I tried it and it just does A, I would prefer it did B.
Thank you, but I will look for a better option. Keep working, you have a lot of potential."
fml17 -
The more I use Devrant the more I realise how annoying it must be for @dfox and @trogus because not only do they have to make a great app and appease their users like every other app, few others apps have a community that is capable of finding and highlighting every single tiny flaw.
It must be kind of nice but also kind of annoying. Like having a doctor as a patient.7 -
Customer: “How many concurrent users can use this app?”
Me: “web tech is stateless. (Insert explanation) So concurrency is meaningless.”
Customer: “yeah but how many concurrent users?”
Me: “infinite as long as they aren’t interacting with the server.”
Customer: “but how many?”
Me: “400”9 -
When you spent the whole day programming in Swift and your mom says that she fucked up her windows 7 machine and you gotta make a clean install (I hate fixing stupid mistakes made by non tech users)
18 -
I am so fucking sick of getting asked to implement special cases / features for 1 fucking customer just because the customer wants to do something differently (read fucking stupidly).
This piece of shit codebase already has easy on 500 special cases that were put in place to please some asshole who does'nt even use the feature he demanded once he realised what a wanker he was being.
Now I have to put in yet another bunch of conditional statements all over the place to pad another fucking douche bags ego.
For fuck sake can they not just use the software as it is. If some dick really wants shit his special glorious way can we not just fork the codebase give him his shit and he can stay on the same special fucking version forever without future updates because the other 99% of user aren't retarded.12 -
"Alexa still down :( Please send help, I no longer know how to switch any devices on or off manually. Smart home now officially dumb..."
The home isn't the only one it seems 🤭4 -
Me: Hey Steve why are you working at this workstation today?
Steve: Cause I broke my computer and the one next to my computer, and this one is taking so long to sign in.
Me: It's probably just taking long because it's talking to the other two to find out if it should log you in.
Steve: Oh dear, can it still talk to the one I turned off?1 -
Today I found my sister take a photo of her laptop screen with ms word open to share her class report which is just pure text file4
-
Can you add a feature so we can download images that our customers have uploaded?
Yeah sure I can see that being a really handy feature, but until I have the time to add a button would you try right clicking on the picture and using the option "Save image...." 🤔4 -
Just came back from a new café (to the pedantic among us, yes I know it's a bar.. get over it).
And I met some Apple fanboy 🤭
So the guy kept on bragging about his shiny iPhone 6.. and I figured that I'd chime in. Due to my short-term memory being terrible, I'll be paraphrasing here.
M: me
S: iPhone usar _/\_
M: iPhone 6 ey..? I've heard about some devices in which the old ones are throttled down in a system update "to save the battery".
S: Yes, biweekly updates!! You can even delay them to tune them down to the time during which your device is charging and can commence its system update.
M (thinking): You've clearly missed the point sir.. but on Android, system updates don't need to be willfully delayed even. They (usually) won't commence unless your device is 80% and charging. OnePlus has been an exception to this though, probably under the assumption that their users are mostly power users that know what they're doing.
M: You do realize that given that your iPhone 6 is quite old already, Apple will very likely start throttling your device during a system update in the next few months, right.
S: What the hell dude.. look, look how smoothly it's been going for the last few years!!! Nothing wrong with that.
M: Just wait until your repair bill comes from those Geniuses 🤭
M: Sir, you do realize that Apple quotes €600 for battery repairs nowadays, right.
S: What the hell dude!!! I can buy a whole new phone for that much!!
M: Exactly!! That's exactly Apple's business tactic!!! They design their phones as such that the battery replacement (one of the most common repairs) requires you to replace not only the battery, but the whole chassis!!! And on the XS, the battery replacement is nothing short of atrocious!!!
M: Here, have a look at this: https://youtube.com/watch/...
*shows Louis' newest video about him switching to iPhone XS*
S: Yeah that's just bullshit. I bet you're showing me this on one of those crappy Samsungs.
M: No sir. I'm showing this on my Nexus 6P, that is tethered to my OnePlus 6T. Speaking of which, let me introduce you to the Nexus 6P's (one of the crappiest Android flagships to ever exist) repair, the battery replacement of which I've done myself.
(you can watch the iFixit video about it here: https://youtube.com/watch/...)
*explains heatgun, screwdriver, heatgun battery replacement of Nexus 6P and the time each step takes - more than an hour combined*
S: Yeah that's because it's one of those crappy Androids. That'd never happen to this shiny iPhone, look, I've got a $20 battery right here!!!
*shows battery*
M: Sir... That's a battery for a MacBook. A laptop battery.... 🤨
I love how willfully ignorant these Apple users are. To them, all that exists is Apple and Samsung (both of which I hate because lockdown). And they apparently don't even know what repair they have to look for when they'll need one.. maybe that's why those Genius Bars exist? 🤭
I'd love to see the guy's face when the Geniuses quote him the price for battery replacement when his planned obsolescence time comes 🤭14 -
just found out that one of my users replies to himself with blank email with a subject "checked" every time he checks his emails... and then he ticks it as "completed"... He has created chains with hundreds of replies long crashing his brand new xps15 every time he clicks on the chain...
2 -
// I wanna know the number of Active Devrant users out of curiosity, please run the code below.
if ( you are dfox || trogus ){
comment( no_of_Active_Users );
} else {
upvote++;
}20 -
Of course you can call me at 9 o'clock on a saturday morning to fix your f****** login problem!
My private life is just a rumor!1 -
I've just been given a beautiful turd of a PC with only 512MB RAM to get ready for someone in the residence. Way too small for any modern Windows or even Linux with a halfway decent GUI. And the user doesn't have any technical background so I highly doubt that they'll be able to maintain a Linux system. Windows XP is full of security issues but it might just be able to run on that craptop. Due to me knowing that it's a vulnerable system though, I've got an ethical issue with that. Windows XP is insecure but at least the user would be able to use it.. and Linux is secure but it'd never get updated, and I really don't want that guy to come knock on my door every time he wants to install a piece of software.. the guy fucking stinks! What would you do in a situation like that?31
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Me: *reading work order* Customer states Mac does not have sound
*Me turns on Mac, it makes the signature "BONNNNG" sound*
Me: Uh huh...
Coworker: Rule No. 1 of tech support: The users always lie
Me: True, but still! How do you miss the start up Mac sound?!3 -
Here's a video I found today from a few years back. It's Titled: Ubuntu causes girl to drop out of college
https://youtu.be/WRWrmT0ovPE
perfect 5/7, would drop out again4 -
Support elevates a ticket.
Ticket: customer is getting a weird error uploading photo.
Can’t recreate. Tell support to call them back. I’ll sit in on the call.
Watch the process. Noting extraordinary...
Hmm.
Me: can you get the customer to open the pic in photo viewer?
Support asks as much.
Support: uh, he says he gets a similar error opening this photo in the photo viewer.
Me: 🤦♂️ that is a corrupt file! -
Customer wanted us to put XP on a netbook after having us look at her XP tower.
This is what we all want to say about her "new" PC
7 -
So I just receieved a rude email from my client as candidates cannot register on his system. He is adamant that the system I built doesn't work........until he found out that candidates are silly and not reading notifications written in h1 with a font size of 33px that states "Please check your email to activate your account".......
FUCK SAKE READ PEOPLE.... READ!2 -
So one problem checked off my list today, solved by concluding:
MOTHERFUCKERS DON’T READ WHAT THE CHECKBOX SAYS4 -
We are currently building a CRM for a company, and we have to demo it for some of the users, two guys start asking couple of questions.
Them: what it is built with?.
Me:PHP, do you know it?
Them: No we only know WordPress.
Me: well WordPress is built with PHP.
them: Ah that's probably why we thought it looked like WordPress.
Me: yeaaah probably... sure :)3 -
Where do most devRant users come from?
Please add your country in the comments or ++ if already existing!
Dont ++ this question though. I ask out of curiosity and not for the ++.66 -
Python is such an amazing programming language. Look how easy it is to write business-logic for the production world. This snippet is used at YouTube HQ to process how the users think about the ads that are displayed every now and then, while the user is listening to music
1 -
So, I got this review for my app which allows users to send files of all types via Facebook messenger, WhatsApp etc (IM apps) .....
"USERS"
#facepalm
4 -
Why the heck do users give a 1-Star rating instead of submitting a bug report?
Oh yeah I know, because that could help me -.-7 -
Consumers ruined software development and we the developers have little to no chance of changing it.
Recently I read a great blog post by someone called Nikita, the blog post talks mostly about the lack of efficiency and waste of resources modern software has and even tho I agree with the sentiment I don't agree with some things.
First of all the way the author compares software engineering to mechanical, civil and aeroespacial engineering is flawed, why? Because they all directly impact the average consumer more than laggy chrome.
Do you know why car engines have reached such high efficiency numbers? Gas prices keep increasing, why is building a skyscraper better, cheaper and safer than before? Consumers want cheaper and safer buildings, why are airplanes so carefully engineered? Consumers want safer and cheaper flights.
Wanna know what the average software consumer wants? Shiny "beautiful" software that is either dirt ship or free and does what it needs to. The difference between our end product is that average consumers DON'T see the end product, they just experience the light, intuitive experience we are demanded to provide! It's not for nothing that the stereotype of "wizard" still exists, for the average folk magic and electricity makes their devices function and we are to blame, we did our jobs TOO well!
Don't get me wrong, I am about to become a software engineer and efficient, elegant, quality code is the second best eye candy next to a 21yo LA model. BUT dirt cheap software doesn't mean quality software, software developed in a hurry is not quality software and that's what douchebag bosses and consumers demand! They want it cheap, they want it shiny and they wanted it yesterday!
Just look at where the actual effort is going, devs focus on delivering half baked solutions on time just to "harden" the software later and I don't blame them, complete, quality, efficient solutions take time and effort and that costs money, money companies and users don't want to invest most of the time. Who gets to worry about efficiency and ms speed gains? Big ass companies where every second counts because it directly affects their bottom line.
People don't give a shit and it sucks but they forfeit the right to complain the moment they start screaming about the buttons not glaring when hovered upon rather than the 60sec bootup, actual efforts to make quality software are made on people's own time or time critical projects.
You put up a nice example with the python tweet snippet, you have a python script that runs everyday and takes 1.6 seconds, what if I told you I'll pay you 50 cents for you to translate it to Rust and it takes you 6 hours or better what if you do it for free?
The answer to that sort of questions is given every day when "enganeers" across the lake claim to make you an Uber app for 100 bucks in 5 days, people just don't care, we do and that's why developers often end up with the fancy stuff and creating startups from the ground up, they put in the effort and they are compensated for it.
I agree things will get better, things are getting better and we are working to make programs and systems more efficient (specially in the Open Source community or high end Tech companies) but unless consumers and university teachers change their mindset not much can be done about the regular folk.
For now my mother doesn't care if her Android phone takes too much time to turn on as long as it runs Candy Crush just fine. On my part I'll keep programming the best I can, optimizing the best I can for my own projects and others because that's just how I roll, but if I'm hungry I won't hesitate to give you the performance you pay for.
Source:
http://tonsky.me/blog/...
13 -
End User: The program isn't working
Me: What were you trying to do?
End User: blah blah blah
Me: Are you using IE?
End User: Yes, I always use IE everything should work with it.
Me: Didn't you see the email to the listserv explicitly saying not to use IE?
End User: I did, but I only like to use IE.
Me: (bangs head against desk & loses all hope)3 -
I provide hosting for my clients. About 3 months ago I discovered that the hosting company that I'd been using had been swallowed up by EIG, which explained why the tech support had gone downhill.
So, I jumped to another hosting company. Same shit different company!
Apparently the fact that my browsers sit at "connecting" for up to 30 seconds, and I get a "could not connect to" message half the time while I'm trying to fucking work on a deadline is the fault of some plug-in in a WordPress installation!
Oh yeah? Why then does this shit happen when I'm working on a pure html/css site?
Why then did it start happening after they "updated" my shared server?!
Oh, but the bastards suggest that I buy Cloudflare or pay for more space!
You fuckers made my work take 3 times as long, and you made an important migration fail!
Network places make mistakes. We all do. That's cool. Fucking own up to it, talk to me like a techie, and DON'T TRY TO BLAME IT ON ME OR MY TOOLS!
Fuck you! I think I'm gonna give Google Cloud a try, and do this shit myself!7 -
When you get a call into the helpdesk:
" It doesn't work!! "
What doesn't fucking work???!!!!??? And who the hell is this anyway?2 -
A morbid realization (I am just wasting your time keep scrolling)
Unless someone takes a stand for the user, and their comfort and requirements, unless someone looks a client straight in the eye and says "no, I will not do that, and neither will my team" and denies them their request, nothing will change, good devs will keep losing their spark to save themselves frustration, good people will walk away and the tyranny that we face daily grows... unless someone stands up, someone who cannot be knocked down, or reprimanded and told they're wrong for fighting for what's right.. unless someone stands up for what is right and fair... nothing changes... and nothing ever will... poor programs, bad games and content, lower standards, frustrated users, annoyance that you don't matter as a user or a dev will never go away... unless someone says enough. But no one will, money is the boss, morality a liability, and people an abundant resource. This world is backwards, devs are carrying the blame and no one who is able, cares enough to say "that's enough!".13 -
“I sent a document to print but it hasn't come out... I think the printer might be broken”
NO! The printer is not BROKEN just because you can’t print. You see that person over there at the printer? Yes, that one collecting their print job now? THE PRINTER IS NOT BROKEN! -
"I'm not very smart with computers"
Why do people say that? Obviously you may not know 100% of what you can do with a computer, but NO ONE does! I get that some people know slightly more than others, but it all comes down to how much time you put into learning it!
And how do you even respond to that? "I know, I'm dumb." You can't ignore it or affirm it, you just have to awkwardly acknowledge and then change the subject. Ugh...4 -
I was excited to get back to work on a major project today. I was thinking in the shower, on my bike, on the train, on the walk from the train to my office, on the elevator, about how I would approach it and came up with a good plan. Again, I was excited.
Then, on our standup call, a dude says he needs access to the util server I manage, and just happens to not know shit about Linux. So I spend the next hour and a half walking him through simple SSH commands, and completely lose my train of thought for the project I was planning to tackle.
Now, I'm seething on the toilet, hoping to reset.4 -
Shrodinger's end user:
Simultaneously believes that electronics are purely utilitarian tools and thus are of no worth when used for games and leisure but if they aren't as expensive and shiny as Apple products they must be bad.1 -
So I was doing homework questions for an online course, and they basically amounted to following instructions and typing in the result. I wondered, "what the hell kind of person fails something like this?"
Then I remembered users. -
User: "My computer is broken!"
Me: "What seems to be the problem?"
User: "I can't go to any websites."
Me: "It appears our connection to the internet is down."
User: "No it's not, look" *points to Wi-Fi status*
Me:
3 -
When your users are this dumb, it's hard to decide between making things obvious (but inviting potential errors) vs. adding a step to reduce the chance of errors (but potentially confusing people).
It would be easier if people actually read release notes...2 -
Users.
For once they used their brains.
For once they thought about repercussions of clicking on inconspicuous links in emails.
And naturally it happened when I sent out a legitimate email to stop their shopping sprees.
But then again, I would rather have paranoid users than clicky-go-lucky.
3 -
Alright! I was getting familiar with Google Analytics!
*visits Google Analytics again*
*the entire fucking thing is redesigned for the nth time*2 -
When there’s a glaring user-facing issue in your company’s app that can cause the user to spend mobile data after specifically choosing a setting that’s supposed to prevent that.
And your boss says your fix is “out of scope for the current sprint.” And the product team agrees with him.
I ALREADY DID THE WORK AND HAD IT VERIFIED BY QA.
Sometimes I Hate agile. Then again, I don’t think we’re doing it quite right anyway.2 -
Concerning my last rant, some explanation:
In short:
Skype and security agencies spy on all the people.
More context:
To the extent, that Skype employees suffer mentally from excessive porn.
That's what large amounts of users did on this platform the last two decades.
So the affected had to bring their case to national, maybe even super national courts.
Which gave in to their claim.
Thus bringing the employees into another salary category, so, compensating the damage done.
What sounds like a unions topic reveals large scale mass surveillance of everybody without exception.
And describes some effort in machine led (picture) recognition.2 -
Forms with autofocus. What are your opinions on that?
My boss keeps asking us to always give autofocus to the first input of a form, without any UX study to support it, just his opinion ("I think it makes sense"). I fucking hate it. He says it's nice for keyboard users, but I'm a keyboard user myself and I say that's what the tab key is for. To fucking focus stuff.
It really annoys me to no end when things like this are requested, but it's ok to have buttons, checkboxes, etc without fucking :focus and :active styles. Just :hover is not enough ffs.
And "links" that work with "onclick". Damn how I want to kill anyone that does that.5 -
I just went to SO to browse questions and learn something or help someone...
And then...
THE FREAKING PRINTSCREEN OF IDE
INSTEAD OF COPYING THE CODE
And you know what's worse?
There was also a PHOTO of the output from the console.2 -
I have this login page on my app. A user (a number of them actually) told me that they can't log in because the app tells them to "login in later". 😨
Is my button for deciding to login later so poorly designed that it looks like a message?
And the only way you can log in later is by pressing the frikin button, how does a person, with a smart phone tell me for the second time that its telling them to log in later
12 -
Just read this comment in my code from a few months ago... I guess I was in a strange mood at that time..
// Listen for fuckers. Also known by their muggle name: users.2 -
Took a devops position for a friend who needed help managing a small datacenter.
Five months of writing nothing but yaml for ansible. I'm about to go mad...1 -
I get emailed a bug with a bad photo (6.4 mb) of the guys pc where half the url is cut out.
So I ask the dude for the url, I shit you not he took 2 more bad photos (15mb of attachments) then hooked his phone up to his pc and mailed them to me.
This guy is the fricken "Operations Executive".2 -
Being the dumbest smart person is way better than being the smartest dumb person. Here is looking at anyone ever trying to tell me how to do my job yet you cannot read a fucking error messag. Yes incorrect password means you got it wrong, dim witted cunt
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A facebook cover photo inspired by this rant: https://www.devrant.io/rants/375271
!rant
I used this font: http://marksimonson.com/fonts/view/...
and finally, I used this psd (gimp should be able to use it too): http://medialoot.com/item/...
6 -
mini story/contest for ++:
today right before my first lesson some of my classmates were talking bout viruses/antiviruses AND THEY WERE JUST TRYING TO SEEM LIKE THEY ARE GENIOUSES!!!
sooo, one girl said that his friend created a virus and it took 8h(if i remmeber correctly) to find it - it litrely says nothing possitive about any1, nor virus creator, nor those that searcehed for it... all i could think of is negative stuff, tho more info needed to know who sucks the most....
som1 said that it is the best to install several antiviruses.... ye....<no comment>
quoute of one autist "the best antivirus is the one with robot icon" (i think he ment eset nod32) - ye...<no comment ether>
and acctualy same guy said that he "keeps getting viruses" and got SERIOUSLY offended once i told him "why dont u stop visiting porn sites?"
So, why didint I told them the truth? well, the thing is that i dont acctualy want to explane them how antiviruses work nor i know it well enough (i just know general idea)
oh, and u guys have no idea how cringy that whole converstion was for me.. i was bearly holding myself
FUN PART: ill ++ every single one who is going to explane anything that includes stuff that i said above7 -
When someone post a review (3 stars out of 5) where asks to make the app/game free so the developer will get even more downloads, he will give him 5 stars instead of 3, and everyone will be happier...
3 -
Patience is not slapping a non-technical end user when they explain how easy it is going to be to make a change to an application.1
-
I was gonna complain about why it is not clear how the tags should be used...
Then saw the placeholder "Tags (comma separated)" -
I want to access a webpage on a non-standard port.
On desktop, I can override port bans for Chromium-based browsers and Firefox.
On Android, I FUCKING CAN'T, FIREFOX' CONFIG VALUE USED ON DESKTOP DOESN'T DO ANYTHING ON ANDROID, ANY OTHER BROWSER ALSO DOESN'T HAVE ANY CONFIG FOR THIS, AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA
Site's on port 21 because that's one of my school firewall's few allowed outbound ports, and I couldn't use 80/443 since a webpage is already running there.11 -
Funny how everything that seems like an almost general truth about the computer users is conditioned only but the phrase "..excepting Linux users" 🤔
No one randomly recommands operating systems ... excepting Linux users!
No one needs to know how to do <complicated hilly-billy technology> in order to use <generic simple software>!
It seems that we (the Linux users) are all rebels without a cause😅2 -
I have been commenting a lot recently on linux ranters who rant about windows for stupid reasons.
To all these people who think linux is better and they are smart(er) than windows users, i say:
We use windows in the company I work for. And if you are a linux user, you're just not welcome and your skills are just a waste for the company. And yes it is a successful company with 100s of millions of euros as net revenue.
Our users have windows machines and we offer topnotch Microsoft solutions for them.
When you ask me to switch to linux because of a problem i had in a Windows machine, it makes me feel that you are a stupid person who knows about linux and gives solutions based on his stupidity and on zero knowledge of the scenario.
Please be professional and think about the solution you are offering. It would be best if you did not offer any solution at all in fact.13 -
Do we actually know how many people there are on devRant?
Just wondering to see which percent of the community liked the top posts.11 -
When the user complains that our web tool is corrupting and losing data when converting results into excel while he is the one putting more that 40,000 characters into one text box which is way more than what Excel's cell can handle1
-
coolest bug our team had was not a actually a bug but a feature that is misused and abused.
tldr: its a feature that became a bug
we have an app that has a "test print" feature to test the printer and the format of the document to be printed. it has the word TEST for fields and all that.
it became a bug when suddenly, the users use that feature to print documents, instead of using the app with the business rules and all, and just manually strike off the TEST words with a pen.
the feature became a bug because it has become a security risk. -
Turns out getting users to put in literally any effort to do something ends up in them putting in zero effort and just not bothering. Users suck.2
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Feature request: swipe from rant to go back to list of rants. It would be easier than reaching up for the "back" button.7
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Seriously...
___________
Description for people with no data volume: Image of MCP from tron saying "fuck users"
-
"What the fuck did you do to my phone?" has got to be the most irritating line from a user ever. I didn't touch your phone, so just because I know IT that means I messed up your phone? That's stupid.1
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I don't consider myself a guru in JavaScript (hell I studied theoretical chemistry), but I do hate much of the rationalization behind building a Jenga stack of libraries, frameworks, dependencies... for building everything web related.
Many of the problems I see people solving with these giant stacks could be easily solved understanding how websites work (html, css, js and how interact with each other) with no dependencies giving smaller (for end users at least) and more maintainable code (in the sense it would not require updating dependencies that may be discontinued...)
I do imagine situations where these are ideal... Since there are not absolutes and developing is very context sensitive, but man if I have js article fatigue for ridiculous scenarios.2 -
So here I am investigating something our users are claiming. I look up which user the UserId did the change and I see not only the user but also the users password in clear text in a separate field. I thought that field was for a password hint that the user can set up, but I asked around and apparently, no... It's literally the plain text version of the password stored in the database, next to the hash of the password.
Apparently, the users were so impossible to deal with that we added that column and for users that constantly pester us about not knowing their password and not wanting to change it, we added a plaintext password field for them :D2 -
Rays of hope!
It's not that I'm on vacation, clicked it from office terrace, just that get to enjoy such things when I make progress at my work
1 -
Saw a user session where user put in email address in card billing address. Is the UX bad or just a single stupid user, since this is the first time it happened.1
-
Just a thought:
Google can piss off everyone by adding a "Confirm password" field in the sign in page.
*muhahahaha*1 -
I like to develop a Social Network for my final year project. You have any suggestions ? It will really help me to develop.
And I like to make it as an Open source project.8 -
Guest-user: finished my angular js 3 days course. Next have to start learning how to write API's using angular. Any heads-up?
Sudo-user: wow.Order raspberry pi from Amazon and build rocket. Let's go to moon next month 🤦🤦🏼♂️ -
I'm always floored when a user knows their password when hey haven't used it in a while.
Some of them learn!1 -
Me (waiting for a torrent download): this is gonna take a while. [ISP] is being slow again.
GF: Why not just force download it?1 -
Is it a bug ,if you have the hairstyles which I have kept on my avatar, you can't have facial hair? Really devRant? I'm the living example and I have both10
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So, Apple invented the lightning connector to avoid the quantum-state USB issue?
I just had to rotate my iPhone around 3 times to plug it in!
(in my defense, I'm in a completely dark room and iPhones have 2 short sides....)2 -
It bothers me far too much when I see people double clicking on ABSOLUTELY EVERYTHING.
Oh your browser has opened twice, yeah blame Windows.1 -
Im not sure if im a good or bad person by allowing my users to set a weak password.
They get to use almost whatever they want, but it may be bruteforced easily.
I let users decide their own security on that point.5 -
Getting a file input to work in an Android webview was an unnecessarily complicated process.
Cheers Google...2 -
That's pretty awesome -_- angular decides to simply discontinue older (half a year) versions of their cli tool by overwriting the older releases with an update notice. Causing my project (jsRant) to break until I update to the newest version.
This new version requires a different configuration so I have to update my entire project just to be able to deploy to production again....
A comment from the heart: f*** you angular.3 -
How to get a developers attention?
Simple, just leave a negative review on one of his apps. This will surely motivate the fellow to help you out. Contact forms are for the weak.2 -
So to test my server code that do calculations on large numbers that get above 10 digits 90% of the time.
The end users found a custom web page with basic javascript doing the calculations.
Now I get to explain why that doesn't work. -
The website load time is so fucking slow!!
FIX IT!!
And i saw the images they uploaded was a jupiter-sized images.
It's the devs fault for not making validation.
But me, as a designer must help them resize those fucking already uploaded images to be web-friendly. -
a nice feeling being complimented for the effort and frontend. but it is still a pity i am the only one appreciating my tidy, efficient and scalable backend too.1
-
Doing a physical scan of PC's in my network for anything that shouldn't be there. Find a Filezilla open for a "Roblox Generator"
Spent rest of day making a bot in Python to spam the registration with fake accounts.
Not on my network you don't!
Anybody else got stories like this? -
There are so many new devRant members the past 48 hours. Welcome! Glad you are here.
If you just joined during the past week how did you hear of devRant?12 -
Spent 3 hours yesterday debugging a process in the business that's tied together with my software. Only to find out they actually meant they were printing to the wrong printer 😥🤔1
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I proposed a feature at work where the services would react based on some karma system to encourage a better behavior from the users.
"We already have that feature. Nothing actually works for me."
Oh. Yeah. Forgot reallity somehow works like that.1 -
Life Bugs
====================
What would you define code that's not "Hard coding ?" ---"Soft-coding" ?
Any suggestions?
-_-3 -
I took this freelance job from an undergrad student, her *final project* in her final year.
It's a cool idea with NLP and I was excited. Did three webpages as a show of my prowess and discussed an amount with her after she was satisfied... she seemed okay with the pricing.
Fast forward, three weeks pass and I don't hear from her (we had agreed that I would have to carry her along, so she could defend it). After alot of unanswered msgs, I stop working, assuming she's changed her mind.
Present Day. I stumble into her and I ask what the hell happened?
She: "I thought you were working on it!"
Me: "Jesus Christ! What about my messages?!"
She: ...
"But, we kinda have only till the 28th of the month before final defense..."
F***, now I'll spend my birthday month rush coding and fixing bugs that I could have done at my own pace! -
I'm finally going on vacation, which is good, but I already know there will be many stupid people writing me endless private messages about them being banned or their server not working correctly BECAUSE OF THEIR OWN SCRIPTS and they will spam me like they usually do although I WRITE THEM I'm out of the office but they don't care since they don't have other things to do than COMPLAINING ALL DAY.
Geez okay, I got to calm down, I'm on vacation, don't want *that* to ruin my mood.
It was stupid to ban all those people for breaking the rules today though, should have waited another week, so guess this one is on me.1 -
LINUX MASTERS, I can't believe that linux didn't get rid off yet of the annoying user:group system.
Anyway, I have two pre-existing groups(postgres & www-data), now I need to enable both groups full access to an HD for data storing, currently the owner of /media/"user"/DATA is www-data but I need to enable the postgres group to operate in it.
I seached around and can't get around how to accomplish this, if it's even possible.
Help >_<17 -
showing project in school event:
me: [...] and we have this public survey, if you may, please answer it to help us get better
survey: "any scientist or historical public figure you want to see in the game?"
6 people answers "me" thinking we'd know who it is. there would be 7 if I haven't stopped she from doing it and explained to her... -
My night: Staying up till 6am Mountain to migrate a site to a new hosting enviornment...
https://youtu.be/2G29lvYkSjY -
Why don't new devrant users have an actual logo of devrant as a profile picture instead of that ugly puke-green background?3
-
When your entire infrastructure is build on FOSS. Clients and servers. A libre world. And everybody is able to do their job for years. And suddenly someone says: "I need a Windows PC for Photoshop."
NO, THIS IS NOT AN OPTION! NOT ONLY IS IT FREAKING CLOSED SOURCE WINDOWS OS IT'S ALSO ADOBE NONSENSE AND NOT EVEN DESIGNED TO BE MANAGED BY OUR INFRASTRUCTURE.
Only answer: But Photoshop is the standard…
After this short arguing I spend a few more seconds on thinking and said: "Okay, we can do that but I still suggest you to use Gimp or Krita which are already installed."
The next thing to do: Install Photoshop on a VM with pure software rendering and wait for his rant. :)1 -
So Stack Exchange (parent of Stack Overflow) is trying to add new features to help new users feel welcomed there and people are still behaving like there is a threat to their cult.
"You should be nice to everyone, not just new user"
So why don't you remember that when you deal with a new user?
https://meta.stackexchange.com/q/... -
I decided to change the theme of my app to dark, apparently what I did was just reversing the colors throughout the app. So basically my only change was in the build.gradle file and layouts. I have received 6 bug report so far that the previous version worked well than the current version don't do so so functions. Now I am living in self denial.1
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I work with a few non-programmers on my team and after almost 2 full years of using our CMS one of them called me over because they were getting an error when trying to copy a hyperlink... I come over and everything looks fine, so I say "Have you right clicked on the hyperlink and clicked 'Copy Shortcut'?"... She says "Well no, I don't want a shortcut I want to copy the URL." .... ::face palm:: This is why the other countries are beating us!
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2 seconds after I checked in some work on a web page, co-worker runs to me, freaking out because "This is not how I wanted it to look!" and waving a printed mock-up in my face.
I inherited a shitty, bloated, broken, 10-year-old site with dumbass CSS, but I did my best to work with it. I'm not surprised it's broken, so calm the fuck down and let's talk about what you're seeing and I'll happily fix it. It will be okay! -
Why is it so difficult to tell the people to not use the same passwords everywhere? I thought of a service which searches all leaked databases and predicts a password based on that as a warning for the user... Having the program told you that your password the user is likely to enter would be XY, because the adobe OR MySpace OR Dropbox passwords for the email OR username entered was that password could be a bit more aggressive but useful to let the users at least think of secure passwords.1
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What's your thought on multi-login systems?(your own or Facebook\Google\etc.)
It's worth dealing with it?
The user base of external logins is bigger than your own?
If you've programmed external login support, how've you found the experience?3 -
I started with AP computer science as a junior in high school. We learned Java. It's a powerful thing to show a young person that they can control what a computer does.
-
Email all staff. Important! We are having problems with the firewall.
Sure as shit we still get the help desk emails that start "is there a problems with email" -
Any db suggestions for storing timeseries data? Nosql.
PS: Can go upto 10million entries so performance matters.5 -
When your development team gets called out to a testing site to fix the problem with the software not login in... and you emailed all the user's and the it admin to install the new software update due to security update and a server changeover... only to realise that all of them have the old version installed. I expected the user's not to follow instruction, but the IT admin... really?
-
My typical user interaction:
Me: "But we need to pull the data from the source and we don't have access to it"
User: "Make it work"
Me: "I want to fucking die." -
Rant about fellow devRanters: don't you ever get tired arguing about which phone/operating system/brand is better? I don't give a fucking shit. It's exhausting reading the same shit every week. We get it, everyone has to like what you like. 🙄4
-
You know what grinds my gears?
When someone complains about an issue, then bypasses it and ruins your ability to test. Sure, you can recreate it to the best of your ability, but if the issue is very specific, you're screwed (browser, data in prod, etc). -
!rant
Just finishes my ITIL course (basically IT support management). It was pretty interesting, if somewhat irrelevant to me, but I got paid to do it (and get a qualification) so that's fine.
My issue was with one specific thing the instructor said - 'IT support always complain people who can't fix basic issues shouldn't be allowed to use computers. Wrong. Customers don't need to know anything about IT, that's your job'.
His analogy was that we can drive, or cook with a microwave, but we don't know how cars or microwaves actually work in at a technical level. In the same way, customers can use Word, but need us to recover their deleted files and install Office.
This seems sensible, but if you follow the analogy, there's a disparity.
I might not be able to *fix* a microwave, or know how the components inside it work. I can, however, cook with it. I know it won't work if the door isn't closed, or if it isn't plugged in.
Similarly, you need a license to drive.
Customers don't need to be able to *fix* the tools, but they should be able to *use* them properly. Turn them on, log in, open & use some programs, browse the web, etc. If they aren't confident in this - well, why are we giving an expensive bit of kit to them? I wouldn't hand a chainsaw to someone who doesn't know how to use it. Or a fine piece of china to someone clumsy.
I think people should need to prove they can use the tools before they are allowed them. They'd be happier in the long run.2 -
Why user requirements are ever so uncleare defined that there are a new Button Color or a complete ui redesign a possiblity 😤1
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Just had one of the problem users honest to God submit a support ticket written completely in Comic Sans. She also neglected to attach the file she was asking for help with2
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Any good tutorials to build a simple users system with node.js and MySQL db? I just started node.js and I can't find anything good....6
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When your code works then you have this inclination to add an extra feature and after adding it ,it works after catching a few bugs but then .... you feel so smug with yourself you add another feature and that stuff ups all YOUR CODE !!!and if you haven't saved a copy of the program before editing y0ur program so the eaaiset option you have I to use CTRL -Z and if you have been altering your code a lot the undo action only goes back a few alterations and hasn't undone your extra feature then you have to manually find the feature and clean it from your code taking longer then creating the program as a whole
=======
The undo action needs to save more alterations of the code 😑1 -
How unprofessional is it when a professional car tow:er don't understand he needs to put the car in tow mode? (If you look on some tesla review videos, the "Tow mode" button is on the same screen as the neutral button)
https://youtu.be/qoOBWK6TEUc
He said: "Its too much computish, bananas" and had to call the Tesla support line.
LOL like a programmer that don't know any programming language. -
Being asked for and providing general computer user support... nothing irritates me more, especially when it's for family... I find myself getting angry at their incompetence, aware of it building but unable to prevent it.. like an out of body experience. I literally have to walk away. I said to the last family member, "I'm sorry, I'm a developer, I'm not in IT Support and this is why... I get too frustrated watching and instructing others. I don't deal with it very well."
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Question:
First big app around the corner. The backend is a REST api in pure php.
I've heard of heroku and other alikes but never had any time to look at it. Would any service like this benefit me?1 -
Hi I'm getting into machine learning and I am wondering what's the best way to learn machine learning ?3
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