Professional googler.

Um ok??? Sure.

Enlightening.

What is Automation?

Option 1 : Make life easier
Option 2 : Make others jobless
Option 3 : Make yourself jobless

Everything is nothing.

- Hello! Gordon's pizza?
- No sir it's Google's pizza.
- So it's a wrong number?
- No sir, Google bought it.
- OK. Take my order please ..
- Well sir, you want the usual?
- The usual? You know me?
- According to our caller ID, in the last 12 times, you ordered pizza with cheeses, sausage, thick crust
- OK! This is it
- May I suggest to you this time ricotta, arugula with dry tomato?
- No, I hate vegetables
- But your cholesterol is not good
- How do you know?
- Through the subscribers guide. We have the result of your blood tests for the last 7 years
- Okay, but I do not want this pizza, I already take medicine
- You have not taken the medicine regularly, 4 months ago, you only purchased a box with 30 tablets at Drugsale Network
- I bought more from another drugstore
- It's not showing on your credit card
- I paid in cash
- But you did not withdraw that much cash according to your bank statement
- I have other source of cash
- This is not showing as per you last Tax form unless you got it from undeclared income source
-WHAT THE HELL? Enough! I'm sick of Google, Facebook, twitter, WhatsApp. I'm going to an Island without internet,where there is no cell phone line and no one to spy on me
- I understand sir, but you need to renew your passport as it has expired 5 weeks ago..

2 hours of updating and now this, fuck you miceosoft

Made my first fractal tree

Me: PHP, please load the images.
PHP: No.
Me: Come on PHP, the deadline is tonight.
PHP: Haha nope.
Me: What if I swap the libraries?
PHP: Still no.
Me: What if I add a symlink?
PHP: No. And also I hate you.
Me: *gives up and sends an email to the client saying we have to delay the release*
PHP: lololol jk here's the images haha
Me: :/

So guys I have a project to do at school. I have to do a website using only HTML a basic one. Can u guys help me with some website ideas. Very much appreciated

Hello guys. Im new to programming I know some basic c and c++ . I was hoping if someone could help me with some sites to learn new programming languages. Thank you.

Brother of my friend came to me and asked me to teach him C as it was most important lesson in high school CS. I agreed and started with data types, conditional statements, loops and others that were mostly exam oriented. He was doing good. Then I thought of teaching him a life lesson and introduced him to pointers(questions about pointers are very rare in exams). As soon as I started the pointers, things got pretty bored and he went off topic and started talking about a girl he has crush on and told he wanted to know when her birthday was so that he could gift her something to be ahead of the crowd trying to impress her. I thought to help him out, afterall he's like my younger brother and told him I can help. Result of his previous exam were out then, providing symbol number on Examination Board's website would do the trick because it would return full data of students result which had birthday in it. I modified my previous script to fetch data of his school's result and pass the data to a file. They're together since last few months. He reminds me time to time that my code is what got them together.

>coding something
>come up with a brilliant idea
>coding that idea
>in that time you forgot what you have coding in the first place

Swift 😐

USB in a nutshell

A bit of the masterpiece i have to work almost every week, note the line number... and there a plethora of files like this. Oh, and the company i'm working on has 500+ employees and almost 500K customers, but don't you dare to propose a system replacement, as the manager says we are very busy with a lot a changes and always mentions that we take a lot of time to make the modifications.... Probably he will belive us when a extremely expensive external consultat say the samething we do.

Say no more word

!rant

Seen this one intermittently for the last few years. Always gets a laugh.

That moment when my boss and I were having a conversation (2 weeks into my new job) and she tells me her daughters name is "Amber" and I jump up with, "oh snap!! That's my dogs name too!!" 😑