Some Java code I looked through to figure out how to accurately rework a mapping of value intervals to status colors:

• 16 levels of indentation
• Calls an instance method one line before a null-check
• Assigns that same value to a new variable and null-checks it again
• Insistently loops over existing HashMaps' entry sets to find a value by key
• Stringifies a Gson object, parses back the string and then null-checks the result.
• Mixes up the 'leq' and 'geq' comparison operators twice, which is why I went to check the implementation in the first place.

And this wasn't even legacy code. It's from last year.

I prefer the best ones. The worst ones usually aren't very good.

Started with flow chart programming in a robotics club after class in middle school.
Joined another club where I spent the first 3-4 weeks learning Python and JS basics on freecodecamp.
Programming classes on algorithms and frameworks in high school and college.
Beyond that, mostly reading documentation, stackoverflow and some udemy courses.

"No you can't use Java 11's `var` because other developers will [be boomers about it and unable to check types by hovering over variables for half a second]" - my team, basically

What does it really mean to be a dev anyway?

Here's one.

substring, substr, slice.
Choose wisely.

Parsing my college's terrible classless html float left div mosaic timetables so I could hide lectures I wasn't taking.

Oh my god did you know the Windows registry has a folder for icon overlays, like the little checkmarks on OneDrive and Dropbox files?

Guess what. Windows only loads the first like 13 of the registered overlays *in alphabetical order* which has programs fight over the top spots by prepending spaces and whatnot on their registry keys. What a great system...

I made the mistake of stepping into the lift when I already saw our branch manager walking down the opposite hallway, joined by some guy in full suit and tie who's clearly just been interviewed. So of course they get into the lift as well and as the doors closed, manager asked me

"Well, is it worthwhile working here?"

Shit. Way to put me on the spot in front of an applicant. I just stuttered "Yeah... sure..?" and went silent for the rest of the ride. Like what the fuck kinda question is that, noone would work there if it wasn't. Why would you ask me of all people, their only working student at the time, doing different work on different projects for different pay than any actual employee?

My PC just stopped working and I can't figure out why. There's absolutely no feedback to pushing the power switch. I feel like I tried everything the internet recommends, made sure the button works (it does, and so do the connected pins on the MB), held it down for a minute with the PSU unplugged, shorted the power pins manually, re-plugged all the cables, changed the CMOS battery, tried turning it on with just one RAM stick at a time.

I'm out of ideas.

Fixing some terrible rushed code from a group assignment last minute. what could've taken hours to compute, finished in under a second afterwards.

TIL 'echo -n' is a thing.
Time to replace all those unnecessary printf's

Do you keep misspelling 'install'? npm's got you covered.

New password cannot be one of your four previous passwords.
Password must conatin upper and lower case characters, at least two numbers and two special characters
Password cannot contain five or more consecutive letters of username.
Password cannot include any _illegal patterns_.

Locked out of your system? Drive over to HQ and ask the admins to reset your password in person.

A friend frequently asks me for help with Java homework.
Today we spent half an hour figuring out how to use some ass-backwards linked list implementation his lecturer provided.
The list itself acted like an iterator, keeping track of a 'current' element that had to be reset to the list's head manually every time you want to iterate over the list. There were insert and append methods that call each other for no good reason and most methods would throw the same generic checked exception.
Also they're told to use BlueJ which has the ugliest debugging tools i've ever seen.

Editor, interpreter and debugger of sorts for esolang Piet
https://dustincompetent.com/piet

There's lots of room for improvement but it was fun to implement

Gonna prank myself tonight by getting 7+ hours of sleep like some kind of functioning adult

Just pushed directly to master & going home now while CI is busy

Wish me luck

Keeping Excel sheets with diagrams of my progress through different series (TV shows, comics, etc.)

Trying to test this React app my team is working on with selenium. There were no classes or ids I could've used to find elements.
I ended up looking for elements by attributes and contained text using XPath.

If they want me to play with a stable connection so bad, maybe they could've not put the weakest available wifi antenna in their console?

Anyway I finally found out I can use my phone as a repeater so that's nice.

Anyone else ever write a couple paragraphs long rant and then delete it because your superior might find it 😑

Nothing makes me more suspicious than when my code runs and works on the first try

public boolean even( int num ) {
if ( num < 0 )
num = -1 * num;
while ( num > 1 )
num = num - 2;
if ( num == 0 )
return true;
else
return false;
}

Long time no rant.
Here's the summary of a review meeting I & team just had with our programming prof:

"You did exactly what I taught you in class, and I don't like it."

"To get a better mark you should've done more than what was required."

"This wasn't a requirement. You should've kept it short."
except we asked about it being a requirement earlier and only got vague answers like "that should be obvious."

Also, printing a class diagram over 2 pages apparently is unacceptable and we should've gone to a copyshop to print that as one page instead.

Trying to convince the class that test-driven development + DTSTTMPW ("do the simplest thing that might possibly work") + pair programming is the way to go, our software dev prof had us split in groups of two that would each get a turn to
1. add a unit test
2. edit the code so it passes the test
3. commit the change

The goal was to write a java class that converts integers to roman numerals.
Each group had only 2 minutes before the prof made them revert their changes.
After 45 minutes the code was just 10 lines of this:
if ( n == 1 )
return "I";
else if ( n == 2 )
return "II";
else if ( n == 3 ) ...

I just almost fucked up our database. Thank fuck I misspelled a table name. Noone will ever know.

My company has sort of project team ("FachArbeitsGruppe" in German) meetings regularly and we love our abbreviations so every now and then at work I see an email or document just labeled "FAG". I think there's even a users group called "FAG IT".

Say what you will about Windows 10, they know what they're doing; error messages never sounded this harmless before.