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Our CTO has been told, this morning by management, that our development department is "too quiet" and that it's spoiling "the atmosphere" of the office space.
So we've ordered mechanical keyboards.21 -
*at my study a year or longer ago*
Classmate: hey linuxxx, could you come take a look? What is this? *points at screen towards some code*
Me: you don't see it?!
Cm: no...?!
Me: you really don't see it?!
Cm: no!!?
Me: no for real, do you *REALLY* not see it?!
Cm: NO! TELL ME ALREADY!
Me: that's a screen 😊
Cm: 😑😠
😅14 -
When a customer gets pissed because something doesn't work and you give a bullshit suggestion because you want to reply something at least and you get a reply like 'oh thanks it works now!'
o_O3 -
I want to say sorry to my fellow devs for what I've done today.
I've opened the second page of google search results :(5 -
My first rant here, don't know how to start, but fuck these self proclaimed senior developers who can't even get their concepts right about basic things and don't believe in reading docs.
Fuck you for asking if sequelize has a method to return details of the logged in user of your app, it's a fucking ORM you dumbfuck. You are a "full stack" developer for fuck's sake.
Fuck you for making those "minor changes" which breaks build and then blame it on any random plugin or lib used, or my commits.
Fuck you for expecting me to review your code on Sundays because you couldn't finish it on time.
I don't like java, at all, but even I get that without it we wouldn't be where we are right now and can't reach where we aspire to reach. But you can't keep chanting "Java is dead, Java is dead" every chance you get. No, it's NOT dead. Nor is going to, anytime soon.
And for god's sake, please stop choosing one library/plugin over another just on the basis of stars on repo, it's not the only (or valid) criteria. Look if you actually even need it. Think.
And please learn how to google first, and also stop using "the" before every the noun, the adjective and the verb. It's the fucking the annoying to read.
And yes, there are different linting presets out there, and just because a piece of code in a plugin/library/boilerplate is not following your specific, and may I say horrible standard, doesn't mean it's a "bad code". It's written by people who have created/worked-on these libraries as side projects on which your entire career is based upon.
And I haven't even talked about the code you write or your domain knowledge or the way you treat other people. So get off your high horse and behave like a developer, a real one.11 -
I might have posted this before. But I am going to post it again. Because emojis.
Me: 😁 Software lead I have finished coding the thing.
SL: 😀 Cool, good job. That is going to really help out the analysts.
Software Manager: 😐 hey I noticed you have coded a new thing and pushed it to integration.
Me: 😁 Yes.
SM: 😐 Well how do you know when it's done?
Me: 😑 . . . When you run it and it does the thing?
SM: 😐 Did you write test steps?
Me: 😕 Yeah . . . they're in the issue ticket.
SM: 😐 Yeah but how do you know those are right?
Me: 😕 Because I wrote the thing and the test steps?
SM: 😐 did you put any steps in our acceptance test procedure?
Me: 😕 No.
SM: 😐 why not?
Me: 😧 Because the acceptance test procedure tests requirements. There is no requirement for this functionality.
SM: 😑 Then why did you do it?
Me: 🤔 Because it was an internal request from the analysis team. There is no customer impact here.
SM: 😑 I really think we should write a requirement.
SL: 🤔 But what requirement is he going to attach this to?
SM: 😑 We don't have to attach it to a requirement. We can just test it once and remove it.
Me: 😒 SM, you know we never remove anything from the acceptance test procedure.
SM: 🙂 We do sometimes.
SL: 🤔 When was that I have worked here for twenty years and we have never removed a test from that document.
SM: 😑
SL: 😒
SM: 😑
SL: 😒
Me: 🤐
SM: 😧 I really think there should be an acceptance test written.
SL: 😧 Looks like you're writing an acceptance test.
Me: 😒 Alright as long as y'all're payin'. Shit I was just tryin' to save y'all money.
*acceptance test written and sent to peer review*
Peer: 😐 The requirement tested section doesn't have any requirements spelled out.
Me: 😅 No.
Peer: 🤔 Why?
Me: 😓 Because there is no requirement associated with this test.
Peer: 🤔 Then why are we adding an acceptance test?
Me: 😡 WELL AIN'T THAT A GOOD GOD DAMN QUESTION!?6 -
There should be a name for rants about fake stories. Like the ones you read and can smell some bs going on. I suggest frants.4
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(important details for this 'rant': people often put their tv on/in a piece of furniture that we (dutchies) often call a 'kast' (tv kast(je)) which translates to closet)
*at a birthday party, mate plugs a Chromecast into the tv and lays it in the tv 'closet'.
Me: that's definitely a Chromekast now!
Everyone: 😑
😅9 -
'lashed out' to a client for the first time yesterday.
Clients have the habit to call after tickets and while its annoying, it's manageable if it happens *sometimes*
It was happening the entire fucking morning and when a client called for an update about a ticket for the second time, I couldn't help but sound frustrated.
"how far are you with the ticket?"
"i have other things to do as well, you know, you're not the only customer i have to help right now"
"i understand, do you possibly have an eta?"
"no. You're next in line, is that clear enough?"
"okay" *hangs up*
*crap*
He e-mailed me afterwards apologizing, that was nice.
I'm sorry sir 😥 nothing personal but it can become so fucking annoying sometimes.4 -
<rant data-type="corny">
My Gf of 3 years left me for some douche. Thus said, she "removed" her feelings before kissing him. WTF! I didn't know feeling came like dependencies...
</rant>9 -
Confession.
I am sorry.
I don't know if I am doing the right or the wrong thing.
I never shared devRant with people I know because of three things.
1. I don't want to infect this community with cancerous people.
2. I only have a few friends.
3. People I know have no interest in programming (still in college).16 -
So I was playing Formula 1 game and I heard “push, push, push” from the engineer while leaving pit-lane.
I immediately closed game and started “git push”3 -
Dear all wonderful ranters,
I apologize profusely in advance if over the next few days I cannot contain my anger at people and rant about non-dev things. I promise I will try my best to not do this, but there are very few places (none) other than here where I feel comfortable enough to express myself freely and not censor my words.
I will be working as a security guard (3rd job) for a car show full of pretentious assholes who have a tendency to think I'm their servant. I have wonderful bosses who have my back, and there are truly amazing people in attendance as well, but if someone tries to run me over again after a long ass day, I might need to vent.
I fully accept any and all down votes, and will likely delete the rant after it's out of my system, unless there's a conversation going in comments (I wouldn't do that to you).
Please bear with me while I try boot to strangle everyone I come across. I'm hoping this year is the year everyone is nice, but history tells me that's naive and won't happen.
All my love,
Your (co)queen who may end up arrested for using her bionic arm to rip their balls off and feed them to their wives10 -
Just learned that my previous workplace hired someone to take over the frontend which was my first big javascript project, and now I have an odd fear for my life.3
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My friend (who is the love of my life) apparently has Linux running on her machine. She’s already awesome, but this made me 100% love her.
I must ask her out.12 -
Little Jakob finds out you can open a js in (mobile) text editor.
Little Jakob finds an nether mod for early Minecraft PE editions (0.7 @ that time or so).
Little Jakob changes some number and vars and creates an Aether mod. (works the same like nether but other blocks&tools).
Little Jakob publishes it with screenshots in a video, gets 30.000+ views on youtube, mod reviews etc. There hasn't been an Aether mod before.
Little jakob feels badass.
2 years later I revited the video - and found out that the mod was licensed and I did something "illegal".
Seeked the internet and apologized to the original author (who was aware of this copy mod) - felt bad, he forgave me.1 -
Drunk programming is the best obfuscation. Tomorrow morning I'll have no idea how any of this works.3
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Dev Badass Rant
There are two occasions really:
1) For our C++ project in the third semester, we had to build any kind of C++ application. Guys in team of 4-5 built record keeping systems and calculators and one even made a Tic-Tack-Toe app. My friend and I, just the two of us, made a simple program that plays Rock Paper Scissors with you. With the power od OpenCV, it used the camera to track your hand movement, predicts your next move using contours, and displays the winning move as the computer's move.
For example, if you play Rock, the computer would predict that you were gonna play rock and display paper as it's move. It wasn't perfect, but it was ours, right from scratch. When it worked at the presentation, I was swell with pride. 😂
2) I was interested in game dev so I started Unity. The first tutorial in Unity you find is the web series by Unity about rolling a ball. You simply make a platform and control the ball with your keyboard and the camera follows your ball. You also make pick ups and get points based on that. So I started there, finished the tutorial, added a few walls, made edible and non edible pick ups, dimmed the entire scene, adjusted the camera angles, transferred controls to mobile gyroscope and added a few other things and voila! MazeBall was born. It has only one level and I thought it was pretty shit.
I decided to show it to a friend and when I showed it to my mate (the one who I worked with in the C++ project), my other classmates saw it and were impressed. Like so impressed a couple of them transferred it to their phone and took home with them. 😂 Was inspired to improve.4 -
So today I wrote CSS using for loops and if statements in scss.
You could say I was programming in style... -
I hate asking for help on here as this place is mostly not intended for that but fuck it for now, I need help on this one!
Installing Arch isn't working for me. Installing any other Linux system (debian or RHEL based) works great.
I've seen some things online about EFI files and so on but I honestly don't understand what that stuff is (about).
Help.16 -
Linux... Is shitty... Ok it just is. I've tried all kinds of variations and they all just... Urgh
Now I know... I know devs are meant to love it ... But compare it to windows
(Yes windows fucks up more) but when it works it works.
... Windows isn't perfect... But it doesn't try to be.
Linux has that feel of... Clearly made by a dev... It works consistently but doesn't take into account how people want to use something...
Linux is something you have to learn to love. And I'm sure I could.
But with windows it's intuitive it's straight forward
I feel like if I was to pick up windows having never used it... I would know how it works. I could at least use it go online and watch videos do the basics... In Linux ... No it's not as easy, sometimes not possible
An os you should just know how to do everything you want to do, and not have to download tonnes of shit to get it that way
It is, the future... But holy fuck get your act together Linux65 -
Sometimes I give someone a ++ on here just to bother them with a notification on their phone. It gives me a sense of power.6
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If you see someone ranting about a colleague who made a semi-major fuckup which was not recognised during dev and stage testing and made it to production where it was discovered three days after deployment just when he went on holiday, well, that colleague was me.4
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I sometimes remember the time when I wrote a Email-inbox-exporter-PHP-script-type of application that collects all the emails from an inbox, "copied" it to a database with the attachements and stuff and moves it to a folder..
I just started at the company for like a couple of months, had no privileges to create mailboxes and such and I didn't want to interrupt our programmer to do this for me, so... I decided.. to save time and resources.. to test run it on our global, live 'support' mailbox.. :D Well.. You might guess what happened.. Apparently I mistyped the name of the move-destination folder (because imap-weird-things) that resulted in a completly empty mailbox and an empty database because the inserts failed due to bad encoding and mime-type issues..
The moment I refreshed my Outlook and noticed that all our mails where gone.. I swear, I can't describe that feeling of fear, cold sweat, intense heartbeat... I just stood up, asked if anyone wanted coffee, and just walked out of the office.. When in the hallway, I heard my collegues ask to one another "do you have any issues with outlook, all my mails are gone?". Everyone was stressing out, the chief was stressing out "what happened?!", nobody knew what happened.. :D
They could partially resolve it via one collegue who hadn't refreshed the mailbox and he could forward all the mails back to our support mailbox..
I dropped the project idea and learned to work with dev environments :D A couple of months later, I accidentially forgot a where condition in my SQL UPDATE statement, but that was the last time I seriously f*cked up.. :D Got to learn the hard way I guess.. Now everything I do runs in dev environments, I test everything before publishing,.. When I look back.. I don't even recognize the (inexperienced) guy I was back then ! :D
Ps. No one still knows what happened that day and they blamed it on server issues :D4 -
I just cleared out 48,158 monitoring emails from work. These are all automated emails received between mid May and end of November. Outlook is now pouting in a corner and not responding, but I'm not done cleaning up yet...8
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So
I wrote a song
About devRant
Don't judge me
To the tune of "Rudolph the Red Nosed Reindeer"
dfox and trogus
Had a very good idea
They worked on it
And out popped devRant
Then one foggy Friday night
They published it
It was an instant hit
Devs everywhere rejoyced
Now the devs love them
As they type out their rants
dfox and trogus
You'll go down in dev history!
(Like Linus Torvalds!)7 -
When talking about devRant, which terminology do you use for ++s?
A: Plus pluses
B: Plus ones
C: Upvotes
D: Likes18 -
Today I left my job in which I spent these last 5 years.
My boss wasn't very pleased with me leaving the company today. But well, it had to be done
Now it's time to focus in freelancing and my own startup. Surely my work will be paid more accurately than these 5 years, one of the reasons I left.16 -
Shame me later for piracy but I think i just found the goldmine of books and vid tuts. Has packt(books, vids) and even O'Reilly books as recent as last month. This good boye has EVERYTHING.
coderprog.com
14 -
So Im making my best friend (which is a girl) a website. I'm not a pro at it so please don't roast me. I am self taught and still learning. A few opinion and ideas would hurt ? K:
32 -
WELL GEE, IF I KNEW WHAT MY ACCOUNT USERNAME WAS, I WOULD JUST SIGN IN YOU ASSHOLE. -.-
On top of that, they use these fucking anchent capchas that are fucking case sensitive and annoying as hell..
In their defence, I was trying to automate their website (one of those get paid to click sites) in an atempt to get some money, but still!
6 -
Game dev update: I'm procrastinating the project cuz I need help with stupid background and it doesnt mix well so Im just contemplating existence
But I did this for fun
8 -
Black is the new dark.
There. I had to vent that off. It sounds so catchy.
On other news I got my stickers!!! Wohooo!
7 -
Woke up late. Hurriedly got ready for work. Booked an Uber. Opened slack to say I'll be late. Finds out everyone is WFH.
Now I am going to office alone in a 50 minute commute like an idiot.4 -
My uncle just got an iPhone 5S and i said him im dissapointed in him he was android user for long time. With custom OS on it.10
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Genie, my first wish is that you double the amount of JavaScript frameworks, every day.
Genie, my second wish is that you make PHP even more of a mess. Huh, not possible? Alright, my second wish is that my browser history is cleared when I die.
Genie, my third and final wish is that Linux will be owned by Microsoft and released as a DLC to Windows Vista.
Happy developing!3 -
Last week our department drama queen was showing off Visual Studio’s ability to create a visual code map.
He focused on one “ball of mud”, vilifying the number of references, naming, etc and bragging he’s been cleaning up the code. Typical “Oooohhh…this code is such a mess…good thing I’m fixing it all..” nonsense. Drama queen forgot I wrote that ‘ball of mud’
Me: “So, what exactly are you changing?”
DK: “Everything. It’s a mess”
Me: “OK, are any of the references changing? What exactly is the improvement?”
DK: “There are methods that accept Lists. They should take IEnumerables.”
Me: “How is that an improvement?”
<in a somewhat condescending tone>
DK: “Uh…testability. Took me almost two weeks to make all the changes. It was a lot of work, but now the code is at least readable now.”
Me: “Did you write any tests?”
DK: “Um…no…I have no idea what uses these projects.”
Me: “Yes you do, you showed me map.”
DK: “Yes, but I don’t know how they are being used. All the map shows are the dependencies.”
Me: “Do you know where the changes are being deployed?”
DK: “I suppose the support team knows. Not really our problem.”
Me: “You’re kinda right. It’s not anyone’s problem.”
DK: “Wha…huh…what do you mean?”
Me: “That code has been depreciated ever since the business process changed over 4 years ago.”
DK: “Nooo…are you sure? The references were everywhere.”
Me: “Not according to your map. Looks like just one solution. It can be deleted, let me do that real quick”
<I delete the solution+code from source control>
Me: “Man, sorry you wasted all that time.”
I could tell he was kinda’ pissed and I wasn’t really sorry. :)2 -
🎶 Simple Plan - I'm just a dev 🎶
I woke up it was 7
I waited 'til 11
To figure out that no one would call
I think there are a lot of specs
I just haven't received them yet
They are the only thing that I really need to know
Because I can't find them on stack overflow
And here it goes
I'm just a dev
And life is a nightmare
I'm just a dev
I know that it's not fair
Nobody cares 'cause I'm alone
And the world is
Having more fun than me
Tonight
And maybe when the projects dead
I'll finally go to bed
But I'm staring at these four lines again
I'll try to think about the last time
That they were working fine
These things have business rules that I don't know
And they're gonna leave me here to figure it out on my own
And here it goes
I'm just a dev
And life is a nightmare
I'm just a dev
I know that it's not fair
Nobody cares 'cause I'm alone
And the world is
Having more fun than me
Tonight5 -
Confession time.
I mix naming styles in my code. Some variables will be camelcase, some will have underscores, some will be all lowercase.
Classes are always title case though. Anything else is barbaric.4 -
Someone commented that they originally looked into Python because he/she liked the way the name sounded (Python sounds cool)
I got one better, I originally researched Ruby because it is Japanese, and I am a filthy otaku15 -
When your week has been so busy and exhausting you remember at 1PM Friday you have a deadline for Monday morning and force yourself to do a weeks worth of work in 4 hours and deploy it on a Friday without QA testing!
To future me - I apologise for Monday’s headaches. -
fren: do you have a date this valentines?
me: nah fam
fren: what u doin rn
me: [Insert technical explanation of Kubernetes here]
fren: [goes offline]2 -
Today I decided it was a good time to give back to the developers of this awesome platform. I bought some 'Shiny new avatar items' and subbed to the Supporters thing. The community is just great. Keep up the great work guys.
Also, Would it be possible to move the phone a few pixels further away from the monitors? Looks a little bit weird atm.
7 -
Someone help me, this app keeps crashing on me. I need someone to help me interpret this crash log.
😂😂😂😂😂😂😂
2 -
Seasonal depression is starting to kick in. I'm feeling like I'm not doing good, whenever I ask for help with code people usually just rewrite all of it when they fix it so I feel like I'm not improving at all. I'm almost to the point in my life where I have to move out and be on my own I'm 19 I still have about 2 more years but it's so stressful. My room is the most comfy place for me I cant be away too long or I'll just get depressed so how am i supposed to find somewhere i like more? And what would I even use the other rooms for. I want a roommate (particularly a friend of mine) but I'm not even out there and I can see the future depression I'm gettin myself into with all the Bill's and jobs and shit, and college doesnt help with stress or depression at all. I probably shouldnt worry about that right now but i just cant help it.. it goes by too fast fuck.
Sorry guys this is the only real outlet for my feelings nowadays8 -
God: you qualify for reincarnation. What advice from past life do you want me to retain in your memory ?
Me: never forget to write those unit tests!2 -
"I didn't get the email. I checked my spam folder"
"Did you check your trunk folder? I've heard there's junk in your trunk"2 -
As we all know that yawning is contagious, so if we yawn standing in front of a mirror, does that mean we'll end up in an infinite loop 🤔🤔
5 -
Parents had asked me to assemble some furniture, fix the pc and so some other "brain" work
Furniture
Me: *Stops to check something in the manual*
Parents: Are you stuck? Maybe try assembling the door upside down
Me: No, it is the right way
Parents: *Ramble, ramble*
Me: Just let me work, shut the hell up
PC
Me: *Checks cables, checks logs, ect*
Parents: Maybe it is the problem with (insert random tech word there)?
Me: No.
Parents: W h y?
Me: Let me finish, it isnt that, (tech word) isnt even correlated to that
Parents: But, but, you never talk to me... (ramble ramble)
Me: Get the hell outta the room
*Argumemt breaks out*
30min later
Me: *Finnaly manages to fix it after the heated argument*
Me: I finished, everything works
Parents: Great, but you are mean
Me: I managed to finish the work in 15 min, you dont even have enough strengh to call for a specialist, (but knowing me i wouldnt allow it anyway because a lot of them make a poor job), so in order to make it properly and to relieve you from learning how to fucking google i want you to stay out of this so i can just finish my job. Your interruptions waste time and i dont need your help at all. Everytime you tried to fix stuff you always managed to fuck shit up when you tried to do anything.
Parents: (ramble)
Me: SHUT THE FUCK UP, LEAVE MY ROOM
Parents:
Me:
Parents: *Leave the room*
1h later i get 25$ for the job perfectly done
Sometime i wish they were tech independent, so i can save my sanity and time but money is nice.
If anybody tries to argue that i should respect them:
I tried talking to them nicely countless times through years, but they always force themself to a project and they always fuck shit up because of it. I tried telling them about my problems and they tried helping me but after it didnt work they retured to the old: "it is the pc fault" and similar. Even if they couldnt help me i juat wanted them to understand my situation, but no that didnt happened.
First i fix my life then i will fix the relationship
But but greeeeeg, relationships should be cared for always!
Eat shit. There is time for family and there is time for me especialy when my life can suddenly colapse due to my problems.5 -
When a ping with less than 10ms eqauls ping porn, shouldn't pinging yourself be considered masturbating?2
-
!rant
Sometimes when I have a 10s break, I think about what I did to get here, and what to do to get... somewhere alive (if possible)
6 years ago, I got my high school diploma in letters.
5 years ago, my depression started while I went to a development / management school. Dropped off one year before graduation, but I prefered to stay alive than having this diploma in my coffin.
1 year ago, I got this (kind of shitty but it pays well but it has drupal so fuck) job and my depression ended.
In two weeks, I'll get back to school for this last one year that I'm missing, so I'll finally get a better diploma.
Within 4 years maximum, I'll leave France to start a new / better / better paid life in Canada.
One hell of a ride, ain't it?6 -
When the madness known as "software development" gets me down, I visit DevRant to complain and read about people who have it harder than me.
I just wanted to offer my condolences... Ya'll are so much more fucked than I am. 👍3 -
My department bought a new monitoring monitor because the old one was broken.
Actually it wasn't, someone just unplugged the power cabel. *facepalm*3 -
I feel so guilty.
I had to make a hotfix today. It is the ugliest piece of shit code I ever intentionally created. But there was no other way. I swear there was no other fucking way!
My boss just assigned this to me. But because she thinks this needs to be a hotfix and can't wait for the next release we just have to change the server and not the client side of our application.
So I had to add a memory to our server so that it knows from which high level method from the client the multiple low level calls to it are coming from.
It just doesn't make sense logically.
I mean I feel like I killed someone. And just so that we get less writes to our DB. I mean yes in some edge cases it is a huge speed-up...
But nothing this fix solves is a new bug.
I'm gonna take a shower now. For like an hour4 -
Unfortunately, I was causing the bad experience of the group project.
Had a 3D modelling class at university. I was totally overwhelmed and had no time to do anything for the project. I was too scared to face my team so I decided to just break the contact and didn't show up to the presentation.
I thought I would get a bad grade and that I will have to take the class the next year again.
But the worst part is, I got a better grade than the rest of the team because someone did the part, I was responsible for, so well.
I felt so bad for my behaviour, I cut my hair and shaved and hoped they won't recognize me at the university.
I'm sure there are or will be some rants about me this week -.-'3 -
So today I was booked as speaker for an event and I thought it was tomorrow. When they called me to ask me where I am it was too late since I need three hours to to arrive there. The stupidest mistake I made for decades.1
-
Living in student accomondation :
Me doing whatever on my Laptop (coding, YouTube ...) minding my own business enjoying silence or music or whatever...
EVERY FUCKING TIME I GET TO GET COMFY, MY STUPID FUCKING ROOMMATE DECIDES TO COME IN, LAUGH LIKE A DUMB FUCKING IDIOT AND EITHER STAYS FOR X MINUTES WATCHING OVER MY SHOULDER AND IS EITHER CRITICIZING MY CODING OR STARTS WATCHING THE VIDEO SITTING NEXT TO ME LAUGHING LIKE A DUMB FUCK.
He does that at least 3 times a day, while he should be studying himself(He almost failed all of His CS classes and does not even know how to create a fucking constructor in Java).
MOTHERFUCKER, GO AND LEAVE ME THE FUCK ALONE.
MIND YOUR OWN FUCKING BUSINESS
Had to get that off my Christ :)
PS : told him multiple Times to fuck off. If i go and sit somewhere else (like library or somewhere) dumbfuck just follows me.
FUCK HIS LAUGH, SOMEBODY CUT HIS TOE OFF PLEASE.
Cant even change Apartment as accomondation ist completely full :)3 -
I got pissed of earlier today cause apparently no ES6 minifier was available on the VS Code Marketplace. We'll, now a few hours later there is one.
https://marketplace.visualstudio.com/...5 -
I am 99% done with my academic project, but still the workload is heavy, and I've got too much on my plate already, mom's spaghetti
-
Ok... Now this happened,
A Friend of mine cracked a version of Game Dev Tycoon and played it... then after a while he came to me and said:
My InGame Game got Pirated! Did this ever happen to you?
And I just was like:
https://youtu.be/SLMJpHihykI2 -
>site is production ready
>client requests new feature by end of week
>add feature and then site breaks on last day of week
>client freaks out even though we warned this is what happens when you add new features DURING LAUNCH WEEK1 -
Dude on reddit was hearing weird faint noises from his phone.
You'll never guess what he found out!
(Cant find source tho 😭)
2 -
I really don't want to ask for likes... But my life has been getting shittier and shittier. Mental problems. Relationship problems. Coding problems.
A stress ball could really help.1 -
Warning: This contains spoilers for Silicon Valley S4 E10:
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.
At 5:35 Gilfoyle says: "In order to hold that much data we would have to go RAID 0. [...] If we lose even one platter, we lose Melcher's data. Permanently."
But my question is: Why use RAID at all? Just storing the data without RAID would reduce the complexity, and if one disk fails, only the data on that one disk is lost. Also, I doubt speed is a priority at that point, since the whole thing is running on a home broadband connection, which something like a WD Gold data-center-harddrive (200+ MB/s) can easily max out.
Also, wouldn't it be easier to pay the broadband bill out of their own pocket, instead of moving tons of server equipment to Stanford?4 -
Just remembered an old dad story:
Around 30 years ago I started a game on my Commodore 64, I was about 15 at the time, and back then you had to load the games from cassette tapes.
So I started the cassette player and waited for the game to load, and when it was done I stopped the tape. My dad saw this and he asked :
- "Why did you stop the tape if you want to play the game?"
And I guess it is kind of natural for someone who used cassette tapes for listening to music, to say that :-) Still I laughed at my dad...3 -
So friend told me I should make a Patreon and make it *serious*
emphasis in SERIOUS
I think his definition of serious is different from mine :3c
-
!dev
I had semi-jokingly changed my username from dextel2 to nothappy, because of that one bad day.
But, it is now when I realized that I am actually NOT HAPPY, things are lately rough, I am constantly scared for no reason, I doubt my skills, I doubt myself for no reason, and top of that there's always a chance for another epileptic attack.
I tried and keep trying to distract myself from negative thoughts but the more I try the more I fail, I've become distant with my younger brother, for the record I'm very overprotective about him. I don't even know if he feels the same, as this year ends or every day passes by I feel changed from my past self (not in a good way).
Switched my first job to get another good job, turns out they don't even have any projects and I'm just a guy they are showcasing like they have ONE amateur developer and we are looking for an entire project and it did work for one client which I'm gonna deny personally because the client is not clear about the project itself, I do not care about the consequences, my heart lies in academics and I'll put my 100% in academics, shall I'm kicked.
A lot has happened in this year, but this one is/was unique and very hard to process. I've always been joyful, sarcastic, funny, you name it, but all of it has just vanished, don't know why. I'm also becoming distant from my ONLY 3 friends and parents.8 -
Every website we craft at work has some email substitution logic so that addresses you see on the site don't actually exist in the HTML source like that (you wouldn't find them in a format like "foo@example.com").
Instead the @ and the period right before the TLD get replaced with something else (to prevent (dumb) spam bots from using that address and blast it with junk).
Some people replaced them with images in the past (ew), replaced the @ with "(at)" or other stuff.
I made it a habit to render the @ and . by replacing them with span tags which then get a ::before in CSS that contains "content: '@';", so that the @ is visible but is not actually inside the HTML source code.
The classes for these spans then have a random name (persistent for that website though). The first one was called "move-along-nothing-to-see-here", but then I started naming them after Star Wars quotes.
One website's @ class is called "that-s-no-moon" (Obi Wan), others are called "i-have-a-bad-feeling-about-this" (Han Solo), "powerful-you-have-become-the-dark-side-I-sense-in-you." (Yoda) and "these-are-not-the-droids-you-are-looking-for" (Obi Wan).12 -
People that upgrade to Windows 10 FREE by going to the... "special needs category"(people with special needs that could use the new things that Windows 10 has... like Cortana), but are perfectly normal... don't be ashamed of that... you were retarded enough to upgrade to Windows 10, so it's justified...
4 -
I sometimes apologize to the tools I use when I work because I use them badly, or in a way they only can return an error.
-
My most common response to everything this week is "What do you mean? Lol."
My brain is timing out. It's like whoever made this chatbot forgot to make it conversational and can only process complete commands in one request. Conversations go like this:
Person: "We need to do thing1 and thing2."
Me: "I already did thing1."
Person: "Great! Now you can do thing2."
Me: "What do you mean? Lol."
I annoy myself. I need a break.3 -
rant.
i'm graduating uni and I have to say, my school sucks. they dont teach us how to be developers, they're teaching us how to be tools.
half the subjects could easily have descriptions like how to be employee of the month. I know social and management skills are important in the workplace but by god if I knew that that's the only thing they'll be teaching then I shouldnt have enrolled. for fuck's sake this is IT not HRM.
it doesnt help that most of the professors cant even code beyond printing statements and loops. they didnt even teach object-oriented programming. I had to study that shit myself, so mind you i'm probably not good at it.
though I've had my share of wonderful professors who have taught me so much, a handful of them isnt enough to salvage the incompetence of the whole faculty.
end rant.5 -
Am I the only one bothered by the way devRant ( and to be fair also Twitter) previews images?
It just kinda crops some unknown up front amount of edges. It's annoying in and of itself, but also directs viewer focus to some arbitrary part of the picture, and you can't unsee it even after opening the whole thing...
Is there really no better way to handle the issue of size? How can that be a good UX ??1 -
So I just had this amazing thought
What is an operating system?
Any system that is in a working condition is an operating system5 -
I worked a whole year in a company for which I produced 30 software and none of them saw the publication even though they were completed. I was the most productive employee and had a productivity of 428% compared with the other employees.
All because of the constant changes in business strategies.
For a moment I believed to be a pirate ship during a storm. When I was tired of the way they were treating employees, months of backlog payments, unpaid leave or not granted, I quit and I was told to me that I was a bad employee and I was unproductive.
In a month he is left only the designer working. At the moment the company in question is still looking for employees, after more than a year no one wanted to work again. Stupid me.
While I ras looking for another job I did freelance for a month, gaining about five times my earlier pay. -
Whenever Google alerted me that "a new device was used to access your account", I always hear Skyrim's Meridia voice in my head:
"A NEW HAND TOUCHES THE BEACON"4 -
How to fix issues the easy way:
1. Provide users a way to raise issues
2. Immediately respond to new issues saying you added them to the internal ticketing system
3. Wait till the affected product reaches EoL
4. Tell the customer you are sorry, but as the product is now after EoL, you cannot use any resources on fixing the issue
5. Close the issue -
the best part about development is that all code looks the same to most people - including devs
so long work assignments and hello command-line digdug1 -
That feeling when your newly added calculation module now has 93% code coverage in unit tests, with the client working on a test case for the last bit.2
-
!dev
Ladies... I promise that your men (most of them) are trying... We fail a lot, but we are trying...3 -
I'm so PISSED OFF because of all the problem fixing I do. Most of the time, I take tutorials which have 6 steps a and 10 lines of code plus some config, and ALWAYS there is a problem somewhere, where it hasn't been covered in the guide. WHAT THE FLAMING FUCK? I literally spend days after days to figure out, that it's a problem with mostly one file/value, and no goddamn guide ever mentions the dependencies, if you don't have the defaults set for somewhat reason. And it's like this with every motherfucking tutorial I do to implement something, and most of the time I do understand what I'm doing, but THAT ONE VALUE/TRICK/FILE/SETTING/XML TAG/CODE TO A NUCLEAR SILO IS NEVER MENTIONED, WHY?!?!5
-
I forgot the fricking ON clause for a important database query. While it didn't crash MY program or greatly effect the performance, I feel sorry for the API that had to deal with the idiotic results of this.
Especially that one request I just spotted, where I just got the answer "the query took too long". That one was like querying the table "females" for males.
Soo fricking sorry 😭😭😭3 -
How d'yall live without a boss who is an incredibly experienced developer?!
To those who have a corporate dickhead as a boss, you all have my sympathy -
So i was going through the Pragmatic Programmer book and i saw a name in the acknowledgements section... Alistair Cockburn... And my mind just started imagining all these scenarios where he was bullied. He has a great firstname though Alistair sounds like such a badass name and thats why i bet when he is introducing himself, firstnames only he just refuses to tell his last name i seriously wonder how he went through the wedding if he had one. Mr. and Mrs. Cockburn 😂 oh god this is so childish but so funny.6
-
Inherited a trainwreck of a site with multiple CSS files. The deadline for changes was BS. No time to remove unused rules, so I left a sorry note for the next dev.3
-
My client had a meeting and presentation of app for one possible client of that app. I, as a developer of that app, left a hardcoded id,I saw it but forgot about it immediately. Let's just say filtering did not work properly. Sorry.1
-
Seriously though, since so many devs I know rant about their QA / test engineers, what would your ideal Test engineer look like?!
I mean sometimes I feel like devs expect test engineers to write them their unit tests too...4 -
I wanna make a c+friends language and it'd be dev friendly and will throw lots of errors on compile to show love. Also it'll compile slower with each newline so you can always say "it's compiling" there will be classes but people instead and then instead of new I'll have create. As for loops let's go with a friendly do while loop and dontdo while as normal while or dowith i while to have a friendly for loop. Instead of ifs let's say decide() and instead of else let's have or. Instead of functions I'll have well you need no functions you'll have jumps and tests before jumps just like assembly has. Oh and everything will be a pointer because then it runs nicer. To create a variable you can't use = because that's the equal sign in decide you need to use "var int myint is 69" because why not. Then to print to the console "console.outputstream.out(myint)" instead of threads I'll have please like "please work" where work is a jump target. I hope you'll enjoy this language ^^
-
So I just started watching Eli The Computer Guy's videos on networking and I really like them so far(only on the introduction so far though), but I was a bit confused about some of the stuff and I thought to myself that some of this might be obsolote or not so much in use these days/different. So here are some questions(now bear with me, I'm still a noob to the whole topic of networking):
-Are Eli's videos on networking obsolete(besides the speeds that he talks about), what you recommend some other tutorial, if so which one?
-Is a switch necessary for a small network?
-Do we still connect routers to modems or do we just use what we refer to as a router(a mix between a router and a modem -> gateway/gateway router)?
-Can you connect an ethernet cable to your router/gateway?
-So according to Eli if you have multiple routers they make seperate networks that cant just be acessed from each other, then how come it be that I can access my rasperry pi when I'm connected on the network of one router when the raspberry pi is connected to the network of another router and how come it be that once you have the wifi password you can connect to all of them?8 -
!rant
One forgets so quickly how a bad internet connection feels like.
God I think I cant bear this 1mbit, 500ms ping shit connection. Feels like 2002 all over again.
Please dear internet gods, send help!!!7 -
public class Celebrations {
public static void WishHappyBirthday(String toWho) {
if(toWho == null || toWho.isEmpty()){
System.out.println("Can't wish" +
"happy birthday to" +
"someone that doesn't exist");
return;
}
System.out.println("Happy Birthday " +
toWho + "!!!");
}
}1 -
Yesterday I had a HUGE argument with my mom. I had severe headache after that and I couldn't help but feel angry and disgusted with myself for shouting at her. Guess what's the first thing that popped in my head soon after? Let's code.
Yes, I like to code. I'm not ashamed of it. Good code. Bad code. I code. It makes me happy. It distracts me until I get frustrated with what I've coded and why it went wrong and soon I realise I've moved on from the anger.
You never know what can help you when! Right? -
I once hoped coding prevents my confusion with new UI as I get old, but I'm 22 and already confused by 3D Touch on iOS. Confronted with my own technological mortality...
-
Is it just me that think it's hilarious that 'devops' autocorrects to Devils – with a capital D an all?
-
I love how the consultants Microsoft hired to estimate the savings upgrading to Windows 10 comes up with the number $404 per employee. I think there's a hidden message here...1
-
Super selfish and targeted question:
Favourite singular VSCode extension?
Not the ones everyone has / are very common, something you have that most might not, be it because it's functionality is not very useful, because it's not very known, etc...4 -
Got two stars on one of my github project, i feel happy and sad, because it's now a private project on framagit :/
-
Just wanted to update you guys on the status of the weather app i was working on.
I have decided to stop working on it for the time being but might return to it at a later date.
The decision was in part due to it being a fairly generic idea in a already saturated market.
Thanks for the support however and hope my next project will be as well received.4 -
Getting a file input to work in an Android webview was an unnecessarily complicated process.
Cheers Google...2 -
!rant
Before I left my other company I was in the midst of finishing one project and I was ansious to finish everything to leave as a rockstar. Now, one of my js scripts brought a huge and long json response that had many nested items and arrays and whatnot. Instead of properly destructuring or finding a particular piece that went similarly to "status": "Verify input"(that was nested unser a shitload of items) i did the unspeakable......i stringified the whole object and just used indexOf.
I still feel guilty over it...but it works :P thing is, if it returns that it means that the user entered an invalid status into the app (it was an inventory application) but it works :P
Oh well. Mind you they thought it was going to take months and I finished in 1 week so yay. -
Grab ya keyboards, when you see a bug
Call the dev, when you see a bug, uh
Who shot me, but ya QAs didn't finish
Now ya bout to feel the wrath of a menace
Dev, I debug em' up
Coder Shakur - Debug Em Up -
Sorry for not ranting and commenting alot lately... I'm feeling a bit down, very tired, and not at all motivated ... But I'll be back one day soon I hope3
-
I would rant about my life right now i i know people wouldnt understand the problem that Im facing right know.
"Nah. Post it we wanna help, it cant be that bad" - nope i just say nope1 -
Alright my fellow devs and other tech related/adjacent people, we can easily glean from your rants and profiles what you do while developing. But I want to get to know the person behind the screen. After all we aren't our jobs.
So, outside of software development and related activities, what do you do in your spare time?7 -
What's the difference between a front end job and a dead end job?
The at least the front end goes to the back end. -
Oh shit! My previous rant is super stupid! Fuck me.
Its almost like:
isalpha (value);
And asking why are you putting the value if you already know. 😐 Now I understood it's General way of showing things. Noob issues! 😬
Now I understood how people overreact just because they didn't think for a second.
Stupid me. 🙈 -
Well fuck!!
Sorry a big part of community sick due to GitHub merger with M$ (including Alice, Floydian, Michelle and more)
But this is fucking unbearable!!
WHAT THE FUCK IS AN ENTERPRISE DEVELOPER AND ACCELERATING THEIR USE OF GITHUB!!
HOW CAN A DEVELOPER (EVEN IF WORKING ON A PROPRIETARY SOFTWARE) BE AFFECTED BY THE MERGER!!??
I HOPE NOT THAT THIS FUCKING DEFINITION OF ENTERPRISE DEVELOPERS MEANS DEVELOPERS PAYING SHITLOAD OF MONEY TO M$.
Source: http://aka.ms/ms06042018 slide 11.
Do correct me if I'm wrong.2 -
I uploaded my static site on AWS. Doesn't load when I typed the public IP in the URL. Googled, found StackOverflow answer to traffic and ports as a security group to AWS. Tried it and it still doesn't work.
Hey Bluehost, sorry I left but I'm back now7 -
Interesting definitions
1. Project Manager is a Person who thinks nine Women can deliver a baby in One month.
2. Developer is a Person who thinks it will take 18 months to deliver a Baby.
3. Onsite Coordinator is one who thinks single Woman can deliver nine babies in one month.
4. Client is the one who doesn’t know why he wants a baby.
5. Marketing Manager is a person who thinks he can deliver a baby even if no man and woman are available.
6. Resource Optimization Team thinks they don’t Need a man or woman; They’ll produce a child with zero resources.
7. Documentation Team thinks they don’t care whether the child is delivered, they’ll just document 9 months.
8. Quality Auditor is the person who is never happy with the PROCESS to produce a baby.
9. Tester is a person who always tells his wife that this is not the Right baby. -
Switched to LG G5 from iPhone 7 Plus.
Lg's screen has burn in and took me about 10 hours to completely fuck it up, restore it, flash crDroid(Lineage os based, the only custom rom working fine so far) and workaround the faulty wifi chip giving null mac address by faking it.
Still love my new(old) phone more than the iPhone.2 -
Really starting to reconsider being a game developer, I can never seem to get anything past engine prototyping. So many idea's, so many concepts, I have the ability to build it but I can't get past the first hurdle and it's really bringing me down...
Don't even have any dev friends to help me out...4 -
**There should be a search bar on DevRant to search for already answered questions.**
I wanted to ask the community what Linux distro I should use and I know there are tons of questions like this one.
I want something fast, without bloatware and easy to use/fast to set-up, etc.
I'm using Linux Mint, which I quite like, but I just wanted to know if there's something better (e.g: Manjaro, maybe?)
Thank you and I'm sorry for the duplicate question.15 -
Anyone here also knows/works with someone who is really great at POCs but sucks big time when it comes to the real thing? I hate that guy. Dont be that guy. That guy will be your team's downfall.
-
I am making new mistakes and acing the consequences everyday. So here's another tip: FUCKING SLEEP CORRECTLY YOU PEEPS. ESPECIALLY COLLEGE AND STUDENTS . college is such an easy phase of life that gives us so many bad habits. mine is to sleep 2/3 hours, and face the next day . at college that used to cost me nothing since we didn't had to use our brains much there.
But damn... today i slept for <3 hours and my day has been almost shit... could not solve a very simple bug and was continuously going towards the negative answers( no it isn't possible, it can't be done, I don't understand this) and asking for help. I hope they are gonna forgive me once , but I wasted my fresher card due to lack of sleep .
You need your active, innovative brain. don't ruin it4 -
Not following the front end "standards" of the company I work for ( Sass variables, Methods, CSS frameworks, mixins, etc.) even though we had a meeting talking about following standards to improve the workflow a day before.2
-
I was changing the PEI sheet on my 3D Printer and in the process I manged to also destroy the temperature sensor😭.
I was trying to order a new one and internet went down too. I also have school tomorrow so I need to go to sleep.
😣I need the printer for a thing I have to deliver in 5 days.
Guess I'll have to take the sensor from another bed (hopefully without destroying this one too).
Fffffffuuuuuuuccccckkkkk -
oh ok
my SSI (that I got due to low-income family and being a minor) is still coming in despite supposedly ending after last month's payment
cool
if it's still there by the third week or so i'll just keep the $350 lol
if i keep getting paid i'm not gonna complain lol
(wait, the taxpayers might. SHIT)2 -
I feel so dumb , lonely and thoughtless right now as if i am still stuck in my memories of 13 with no experience, knowledge or frienship gained from past 10 years( or maybe 23 years,13 wasn't also no fun) :/
-
Goddammit Microsoft!! Hardly a month in and you just had to prove yourselves. You had one job!!
News source: https://nakedsecurity.sophos.com/20...
5 -
!rant Java web framework?
sorry for the OT, if you are single (novice) web developer and you had to choose your first web java framework, what would you pick?7 -
Anyone else write out 1000s of lines on paper before putting it on screen? Is that a waste of time or good practice?9
-
I was getting frustrated with my 4 years old work MacBook with 8 GB of RAM, insufficient to run 2 Vagrant boxes simultaneously. Conveniently the letter E just stopped working and IT couldn't fix it, they now have to order a new one.1
-
!rant && silly
Well so I was thinking of ways to proposing to my non existent geek gf, so far I thought of
Would you do pair life programming with me?
How would you do it?4 -
!rant
I have my 121 in a few days with my new manager and am trying to get a raise either through moving from junior to mid level dev or being given a significant raise , am being paid a tad below the London market rate's lower range for my skill level.
Any advice on how to approach the topic?
Some bits of my background:
I got almost 4 years of exp :
almost 2 working there...
6 months short term contract as a ruby sql dev another company...
1.5 years worked for an abusive joke of a company who took advantage of my naivety since i was fresh out of uni ( did stuff like pressured me to add more features to a pojo system i made for them) barely learned anything there since i was the only IT person there developing solo, the project lasted 1.5 years and was a total mess to finish, so am not too sure of factoring it into my years of exp.
My Qualifications are:
bsc in information systems
Msc in enterprise sw engineering
My "new" Manager is seeking to retire real soon.
The company isn't doing too well but we just landed 2 big customers who are buying the product my team is working on
I Am one of two last devs on my team and we are barely holding on with the load, can't afford the time to train a newbie to join us
my department is soon to be sold (soon according to what mgr says). They have been saying so for 10 months now.
Last year , since the acquisition Is taking so long and funds were running out We were hit by a wave of redundancies which slashed our workforce in august/ july, told we could last till march this year on our funds . Even senior staff were on a reduced work week...but since we Got new customers then money should be coming in again , this should mean thats no longer the case. Even the senior staff have returned to 5 day work weeks.
Am being given only JavaScript work to do despite being hired as a junior java dev, my more senior colleagues dont wanna even touch js with a long stick
Spoke to 3 recruiters , said they got open roles in the junior- mid level range that pay the proper market range if am interested to put my cv through.
Thats like 25% more than I currently make.
Am a bit scared to jump into a mid level position in another company because i lack a bit confidence in my core java skills.
although a senior dev who used to be on my team thinks i can do it.
i recon i can take on the responsibilities of a mid level dev in me existing company since am pretty familiar with the products
I dont get to work with senior devs and learn from them since we are so stretched thin, hence am not really getting the chance to grow my skills
I know i have gaps in my knowledge and skills having not been able work in java for a while hasn't allowed me to fix that too well. I badly need to learn stuff like proper unit testing, not the adhoc rubbish we do at the moment, frameworks like spring etc
Since I have been pretty much pushed into being the js guy for the large chunks of the project over the last year , its kinda funny am the only guy who has the barest idea how some of the client facing stuff works
The new manager does seem to be a nice guy but he is like a politician, a master bullshitter who kept reassuring all is well and the company is fineeee (just ignore the redundancies as the fly past you)
The deal for thr aquisition seem to have sped up according to rumors
And we heard is a massive company buying us, hence things might pick up again and be better than ever
Any ideas how to approach the 121 with him?
Any advice career wise?
Should i push for a raise ?
promotion to mid?
Leave to find a junior to mid level position?
Tought it out and wait for the take over or company crash while trying to fill the gaps in my knowledge ?
Sorry for the length of this post2 -
Not a rant, but a question: I'm currently learning to develop for the web through freecodecamp. They decided some time ago to change their curriculum from Angular to React, kinda moving away from the MEAN set of technologies. Now that Angular 2 is out and looking good, I'm not sure if I should stick to their curriculum or learn it in place of React. What do you guys think?5
-
time to head into javascript code testing, as i'm annoyed af of testing everything by hand whether my feature works and find the cause to some problems i have encountered
.... but first let me "npm init -y" and "npm i jest" (as the tutorial suggests) real quick in my git project ... whoops😯😐😶🤨 ... woah, ok ... 5000 added files, shit, dependencies 🙄... delete all ... git error😐😥
delete folder manually😪😅
resuming paused tutorial: "and if you've got a git repository, just install jest globally, do not do this in your repo!"
.... just happened to me😑😅2 -
When you're doing someone a favor by looking at their PC and you diagnose what causes the issues and you try to explain them & then they tell you its not the problem cause they googled what it was.....
Count.. To.. Ten..
-
This isn't really a rant. 😊 “The Cathedral and The Bazaar” @_fdamilola https://medium.com/@fdamilola/...
-
Ricing newly installed Mate Desktop
In need of wallpapers (Anime/Illustration)
In need of a motivational quote too (can be sarcastic)
People who are going to roast me in the comments I know its cringe worthy and googleable. Cloning multiple repos and downloading a lot of data so please help me out4 -
Moving to Zürich, Switzerland a good idea for 110k?
Job sounds great, just not sure about switzerland... Any remarks, tipps, trick?1 -
When you have to block a email address from a website providing you a great way to have a payment form for your client because they didnt implement the unsubscribe and you get spammed at every test
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