Reading the Facebook PHP SDK documentation today to make a custom feed on a site. The documentation tells you how to do absolutely everything. Which is great in theory, but means you have loads to read to find the small bit you need.

Turns out I didn't need the SDK after all. Used simple curl request instead.

A good web developer...

I once worked Tech Support for a point of sale software package. There was really no internal help desk, so we got all of those questions as well.

One day our front receptionist that her computer is being really weird and she can't type - it keeps inserting 3s in the middle of what she is typing.

I take the short walk down the hall to her desk and see that, indeed, a never ending string of 3s is being input to her screen.

"I can't figure out what's wrong." she says.

Then I reach over and remove the edge of an open binder whose edge was resting on the 3 key and enter key on the num pad.

"That should fix it."

Walked back to my desk.

IOS SUCKS!! SWIFT SUCKS !! OBJECTIVE-C SUCKS!! SUCK MY DICK APPLE YOU PIECE OF SHIT !! Why did you have to make the language sooo counter intuitive, and so different from the popular languages you pain in the ass piece of shit, Why can't I throw exceptions from a constructor of a class?? Why do I have to use a fucking struct to just throw exceptions?? Can't class constructions fail you peice of shit?? huh? GOD DAMN IOS MAGGOT DEVELOPERS IF I EVER RUN INTO THOSE FUCKERS IM GONNA FUCKING RAPE EM BURN THEM ALIVE AND HAVE THEM FOR DINNER

Participates in company wide 3-day hackathon. Spends 2 days doing the dev setup 😩😓

Worked from 11 pm to 9 am. Mom saw that I didn't sleep. She gave me this. Moms be the best!

If you have to sign up to something but don't want to use your email. This is a great tool.

https://www.mailinator.com/

The intern learned a great lesson today...

So I'm a UX Designer and my husband is a Mobile Engineer so obviously he makes more. I swear my field doesn't get enough credit it deserves (considering we're the ones figuring how the user will use the app/site/whatever device). My mother in-law decided my work isn't as important as his and that I stand below him. Gee thanks for the biggest insult, even when I had to go to grad school for 2 years, worked full-time at the same time so that we could help his family with some stuff considering we're the only couple who is capable of it. :/

"Hey, what are you changing in the code?"

"Nothing that will affect your side"

Update..

Boss: Everyone should want to be a 10x developer.
Me:

Yes, It works on my machine...

New "dev" at our company. One of his first questions. "Could an if clause have two conditions?"... /me *facepalm* ... where did my boss find this Person and what did he told him?

Working with multiple different languages at a time is a crazy fun.
I work with ActionScript , php and JS at a time . So different syntax are ultimate fun . It requires lot of attention
To declare a variable
AS3 : var sample:String = "hello";
Php: $sample = "hello";
JS : var sample = "hello";

And the list goes on .

The legitimacy of this meme is damn too high!

That moment when your site is working beautifully on your installed browsers... and then you test it on IE.

Back from holiday and reviewing code changes

your life saviour. only developers will understand

Before you marry a person you should first make them use a computer with slow internet

anybody else?

I have a large code library I have been working on for over 10 years. I have nightmares about leaving it to another unfortunate dev. I'll have to work at this company the rest of my life.

As a uni student not yet into heavy projects yet @DiNozzo97 and I made a mock smart house out of MDF, put controllable rgb LEDs in each room, lockable doors (demonstrated with servos), an openable garage (also servos), and thermistors taking an average temperature of all the rooms with an air con (PC fan). All of which was controllable with a website openable anywhere, run on a Pi. Oh and we integrated a doorbell that linked to twillio that sent you a text, if you replied with a positive response the door would unlock!

a weak intern handling an easy task

I went to Paris for my first interview (that was 1989) for a job of Unix kernel developer. All dressed up. I step out of the elevator and see a young punk with scruffy hair and different colour shoes. I reckon he must be the pizza delivery guy. I ask him "dude, can you please point me to the CEO's office for interview". He said "sure, follow me man, I'll show you". We arrive at a desk, he sat down in the big chair and looks at me with a big smile and says "Ok dude, here we are. I am the CEO. Now let's see how good you are!"
I got the job. And 26 years latet, last week, amazing coincidence: I met him again at a trade show in Paris ... with the same coloured shoes. How cool is that!!!

When you look back at the code you wrote year(s) back! 😂😂

I had just started as an SDE intern, and was fiddling around with the code base.

Me: Hey, can you send me the link to our version control system?
Mentor: Umm, what!?
Me: You know, where we keep our code backup...
Mentor: Hmm, is there a need for that?
Me: Yeah, I mean, my past experience tells me to always backup code, just in case something goes wrong.
Mentor: Ohh, that's easy. I'll teach you how I do it.

So, he comes to my workplace, and does this:
1. Go to your workspace folder.
2. Right click it.
3. Zip it.
4. Open outlook.
5. Compose email.
6. Attach the zip file.
7. Mail to yourself.
8. That's how it's done!

I was like what the hell!?!?! Is this really happening?? And then he started basking in his glory, as if he had taught me some secret hack! Seeing this, I couldn't even get myself to introduce him to git. That was the worst part.

Eid Mubarak everyone. For those who are not familiar with Eid, we have two Eids in a year, this Eid is called Eid Al fitr, which is the celebration day after 30 days of fasting in Ramadan. In this day everyone celebrates by wearing new dresses and visiting their relatives and friends. Also kids get 'Eidiyah', which could an amount of money or candies.

https://github.com/nvbn/thefuck

You're welcome :)

When my co-workers thinks it is fun to add this to my bashrc when i was away:

alias cd='exit'